Part 1

Buffy paced nervously back and forth in front of Spike’s crypt, she had just been resurrected yesterday and Spike was the last person to find out. She was nervous and started to bite her fingernails, she decided that she had to do this, she had to confront him. She walked inside and looked around, the place had been re-furnished and he had a nice couch and new TV system. She had heard from the others how broken he had been when she died, he had apparently cried in front of them all. He had clutched her dead body until Xander pried him off her. She wasn’t able to sleep all of last night, tossing and turning, thinking about the last conversation that they had had. She was scared; scared that he would hate her for treating him so badly, what if he tried to kill her? No, Spike wouldn’t do that, he couldn’t. She looked around but Spike was no where to be seen, she heard a noise from down stairs and decided to go and investigate.

She walked down the ladder and saw him; he sat on his bed clutching his head,

“Spike?” she asked nervously

Spike looked up and laughed,

“Well I see the Scoobies decided that it was time to play a practical joke. Funny. Using that damned Buffy bot to get me all happy, what, did they think that I would think it was Buffy? So sorry, gave up on that idea a long time ago.”

Buffy just stared at him in wonder; his eyes were full of hurt and pain. It made her heart ache to know that she had caused him so much pain,

“Spike, it’s really me.” Buffy said trying to convince him.

“Now this is just becoming a sick joke.” Spike glared at her,

“Playing with people’s emotions is not nice.”

Spike got up and walked around in his crypt,

“I hope Niblit had nothing to do with this, I trust her and if she did it would just show how utterly lonely I am.”

Dawn had told Buffy how close she and Spike had gotten since she was gone. Spike was her best friend and had watched out for her always. Buffy was thankful to Spike; she didn’t know how to thank him.

“Spike stop acting like a moron and look at me. I’m back. They brought me back, I’m real, not that Buffy bot.”

Spike stared at her, ‘no this couldn’t be her, she was dead’

“Oh yeah, prove it.” Spike wasn’t giving in easily.

Buffy walked over to him and punched him,

“I bet the Buffy bot didn’t punch like that?”

Spike looked at her,

“Well, that’s not solid enough evidence for me luv.”

It made Buffy tingle with excitement when he called her luv. She looked at him, how was she going to prove this?

Buffy leant over and kissed Spike gently and quickly on the lips.

Spike reeled back in surprise,

“Oh my God, Buffy.”

Buffy could see his lip quivering, she burst into tears and Spike wasted no time in catching her in a loving embrace.

Buffy dug her head into his shoulder; she was scared to be back. She had been in heaven and everything was so peaceful, not like here.

“Buffy, I can’t believe it, it’s really you.” He held her tightly not ever wanting to let her go.

Buffy pulled back and looked at him, he had tears in his eyes. He was crying. Buffy hugged him again quickly and they both pulled back.

“When did you get back?” Spike asked as they sat down on his couch.

“I got back yesterday.” She said.

Spike nodded his head; he had promised himself that he would never let her see him cry. He had also said that if she ever came back (which back then was highly unlikely) he would never tell her that he loved her. He would hide his emotions because he never wanted to make a fool of himself again. He would stay as far away from her as possible.

Spike looked away for her,

“Well nice to have you back slayer.”

This statement had surprised Buffy, when he said it was said so coldly. She looked at him in shock,

“Well don’t get all happy about it.” She said as she felt the tears coming to her eyes.

Spike hated to see her cry, she was making this harder for him now. Sitting there so alive, so sexy and gorgeous. He just wanted to take her in his arms and tell her how much he loved her and that everything would be okay. But he couldn’t not now, not ever.

“Well you can’t just expect to come back from the dead and show up here expecting a bleedin’ party. You have your Scoobies for that.”

Buffy stood up and glared at him with her hands on her hips.

“Well I’d thought you would at least you would be happy. I mean I thought you loved me.” Buffy mentally smacked herself for saying this, she knew just how to stick her foot in it didn’t she.

Spike sat with his mouth open and decided to just put an end to this all,

“Well things bloody change and so do people. But oh yes, that doesn’t count for me, I am evil and always will be. Remember?”

‘Spike was still obviously pissed off about that’ Buffy thought,

“Well, I was obviously wrong, you are an even bigger ass hole than before.”

Spike got up and grabbed a beer out of his fridge,

“Well bloody hell, leave then.” Spike spat out venomously.

She looked at him and felt the anger and sadness over take her, she decided to get out of there before she cried again,

“Fine, and don’t come near me or my sister or my friends ever again!”
Spike nearly choked on his beer,

“You can not prevent me from seeing Dawn, you can never do that, I won’t let you.”

Buffy knew that she could never stop him from seeing her, but she’d try anyway.

“Fine, but don’t come near me.” With that she got up and stomped out of the room, she climbed up the ladder just as the tears spilled down her cheeks. She ran out of the crypt, she just wanted to get home.

Part 2

Spike wanted to kick himself; he could have been straightforward without causing world war three. Now she hated him and never wanted to see him again. Dawn was gonna kill him. What was he gonna do now?

Buffy ran inside and came face to face with Dawn,

“What happened Buffy?” asked Dawn seeing the tear marks on her cheeks.

Buffy just shook her head and ran upstairs, she couldn’t face Dawn.

Dawn walked upstairs and walked into Buffy’s room. Buffy lay on her bed crying like a little girl who had just lost her favorite toy. Dawn sat down next to her and cuddled her like a baby.

Buffy didn’t know why Spike not being in love with her was such a huge thing, usually she would of welcomed it but now she just wanted to go back to where she had been before.

“Buffy, please tell me what happened. You didn’t stake him did you?”

Buffy shook her head,

“No but we had a fight because he told me that he didn’t love me anymore.”

Buffy started to cry again and Dawn just looked at her,

“What do you mean? Of course he still loves you.”

Dawn couldn’t get over the fact that Spike had told Buffy that he didn’t love her that was shit.

Buffy just looked at Dawn,

“But-but he said he didn’t, why would he lie?”

Dawn could see that Buffy was calming down,

“I’ll go talk to him.”

Buffy nodded and curled back into her little ball and cried herself to sleep.

Dawn walked out of the room slowly and ran down the stairs and out the door, she had to sort this out, fast.

Part 3

Spike paced back and forth in his crypt, he hated himself so much. He wished he could just stake himself and save everyone the trouble. He sat down on his bed and put his head in his hands. Spike smelt a familiar smell but didn’t look up. He knew that Dawn was standing in front of him, he knew she was gonna tell him off and tell him things that he already knew. But instead he felt her sit beside him and put her arm around him. He moved and put himself into her embrace.

“Spike, what am I gonna do with you?”

Spike started to cry and Dawn wrapped her arms around him.

“Why did you do it Spike? I don’t understand.”

“Well Niblit,” he said pulling himself away from her, “I can’t make a fool out of myself again, you don’t know how much it hurts to see her and not be able to have her.”

Dawn smiled knowingly,

“Well right now she is balling her eye’s out because you don’t love her anymore. So I have a sneaking suspicion that you are wrong.”

Spike stared at her and she smiled,

“Are you sure it’s not because of what I said to her and the utter prick I was?”

Dawn shook her head,

“Hell no, ‘cause it never bothered her before.”

Spike shook his head,

“I can’t, I don’t want her to think of me as a little lap dog that is obsessed with her, I just couldn’t handle it.”

Dawn nodded her head and patted him softly on the shoulder,

“I understand, I just hope that you and Buffy could be friends.”

Dawn got up and left, this was going to be harder than she thought.

Part 4

Buffy was sitting down stairs when there was a knock on the door, she thought that it might be Spike, coming to tell her that he loved her and would hold her and kiss her,

“Spike?”

“Uh, no Buffy it’s us, your friends.”

Buffy got up and opened the door to see Xander, Anya, Willow and Tara.

“Oh, hi.”

Buffy opened the door and they all walked in and stared at the disappointment on her face,

“Gee, sorry to disappoint you, but it’s us not the evil dead.” Xander said coldly

Buffy smiled a fake smile and they all knew something was up,

“We just thought you looked upset yesterday and this morning, so we decided to come and cheer you up.” Said Willow

“Thanks guys. But I don’t feel like being cheered up.”

They all felt so sad, they didn’t understand why she was so sad and withdrawn since they brought her back. They did bring her back from a hell dimension, and she didn’t even say thank you.

Buffy had told them that they had brought her back from a hell dimension not mentioning that she had actually been in heaven. She didn’t want them to know how they had pulled her back from her final resting-place.

Dawn ran back into the house and shouted to Buffy,

“I spoke to him and he feels…”

She stopped talking when she walked into the lounge and found the Scoobies sitting around watching her,

Buffy looked hopeful,

“Well, what did he say?”

Dawn didn’t want to talk about Spike in front of all of them,

“He said that um he feels bad about the way he treated you, as for the other thing he said,” she said hinting to the not loving her speech,

“He said that he still means it, but I think he’s lying.”

The Scoobies all looked at her in puzzlement,

“Well what does that mean?” asked Xander wanting to know what they were talking about,

Buffy shot him a quick glance and glared at him,

“It’s got nothing to do with you.” She said as she felt tears gather in her eyes,

“I’m tired and I’m going to sleep.”

Just then there was a knock on the door and Buffy was hoping that it would be Spike,

“Spike?”

A loud gruff voice came from the other side,

“Uh, yeah.”

Buffy opened it and stared at him,

“What are you doing here?”

Spike looked a little hurt,

“I came to apologize.”

The Scoobies heard this and came to the door and looked at Spike,

If Spike could blush he would be now,

“Can we talk, alone.” Asked Spike hinting behind her.

Buffy turned and saw them all staring at her,

“Fine.”

They walked out and closed the door behind them,

“I’m sorry about the way I treated you and the things I said.”

He did look sorry, Buffy thought,

“You really hurt me.”

Spike felt instantly guilty,

“I know and I’m really sorry.”

Buffy looked at him with her heart softening to the poor vampire sitting before her,

“So you don’t?” asked Buffy quickly

Spike looked confused,

“Don’t what love?”

Buffy felt herself going red,

“Love me?”

Spike wanted to tell her how much he did,

“Not as anything more than a friend.” Lied Spike.

His heart broke when he said this; he honestly hoped that she would pull out Mr. Pointy and stake him there and then.

“I understand.” Buffy said sadly, at least he loved her as a friend.

“Well,” said Spike not knowing what else to say

“If you ever need company when you’re slaying or need someone to talk to, you know where to find me.”

Buffy leant over and kissed him on the cheek,

“Thank you.”

He smiled widely as his heart soared,

“Well best be going now, see ya Buffy.”

Spike got up and disappeared into the shadows.

Buffy sat there and smiled to herself.

Part 5

It had been 3 weeks since Buffy had come back from the dead and she still felt anger and resentment towards her friends. They all were always crowding her and asking her what was wrong all the time, and she couldn’t stand it anymore. They treated her like a porcelain doll that was gonna break.

The only place she felt safe and loved was Spike’s crypt. She had seen Spike every couple of days when they went out patrolling and every now and then they would go back to his crypt and talk. She had told him about being in heaven and how her friends were always there in her face. He had understood and had comforted her. The Scoobies hated the fact that she was spending more time with Spike, but there was nothing they could do. She was happy when she was with him, and they all knew it.

Buffy walked inside her house after school and heard laughing coming from the lounge. She peered in to see Spike and Dawn giggling over some of Dawn’s schoolwork. Spike had practically become Dawn’s big over-protective brother, he had helped her with her homework, her problems even with boys and Dawn loved the big vampire even more than you could imagine.

“What you too giggling about?” asked Buffy

Spike glanced up at her and smiled.

“Hey Buffy,” said Dawn, “Spike’s helping me with my history, seen as he was there and all.”

Spike looked disgusted,

“Not all of it, I’m not that old you know.”

Buffy and Dawn started to laugh and Spike just had to join in.

“Very funny you two.”

Spike got up and went into the kitchen, pulling a packet of blood out of the fridge (that was always left there for Spike for when he came to visit) poured it into a cup and put it in the microwave.

“Got any cream?” asked Spike searching in the fridge.

Buffy walked over to him and reached over him into the back of the fridge. Spike could smell her sweet smell of perfume. She pulled out a little carton and handed it to him.

He smiled happily at her and opened the microwave to retrieve his warm blood.

He poured the cream into the blood and sipped in slowly, Dawn and Buffy looked at him disgusted,

“What?” he asked

“Cream and blood, interesting combination.” Answered Dawn.

Spike smiled evilly,

“It really is tasty, wanna taste?”

Dawn giggled and Buffy shook her head at him,

“Always sharing.”

Dawn and Spike laughed as Buffy walked upstairs to her bedroom.

Dawn and Spike sat back down at the table and Spike began to teach Dawn the history. Buffy listened as Spike told Dawn about the 2^{nd world war and how he remembered it. Dawn listened with fascination as Spike told her about how he was in a house when it blew up. He also told her about Hitler’s rallies. Dawn laughed at his jokes, and punched him playfully in the arm when he laughed at her. They were discussing Hitler when Buffy came down stairs; she was wearing a pair of sweats and a tank top. Spike’s eyes bulged when he saw her, she was so beautiful. Buffy smiled knowingly at Spike and Blushed. Buffy sat down next to Spike and he smiled brightly,}

“So, still looking at history?” Buffy asked,

Dawn smiled evilly (A smile that she had learnt from Spike)

“No, we are now studying sex education, why don’t you and Spike do a demonstration?”

Spike and Buffy looked at her in disbelief,

“Dawnie?”

Dawn giggled,

“I’m just kidding. Calm down.”

“That isn’t funny.” Spike said giving her an evil glance.

“Why? Is it that bad?” Asked Buffy looking hurtful at Spike.

“No, it’s just never gonna happen.” Replied Spike icily.

Buffy looked at him with tears in her eyes,

“Well that’s for sure.”

Spike felt like someone was holding his dead heart and was squeezing it painfully.

Spike looked at her and stood up,

“Well Niblit, I’d better go. It doesn’t look like I’m welcome here.”

“Good, ‘cause you’re not.”

Spike grabbed his big blanket and walked outside, and ran down towards his crypt.

Dawn looked at her sister and clenched her fists,

“Why do you always have to be such a bitch?”

Buffy stared at her in disbelief,

“What do you mean?”

“Well for one thing he was defending you. Second thing, you are so sensitive and take things to personally.”

“I do not!”

Dawn laughed falsely,

“Oh yeah right, you don’t. What was I thinking.”

Dawn stood up and walked out the room, and ran up the stairs.