Title: To see one last sunrise

Part: 1/1

Author: Gemma

Rating: PG.

Summery: Spike decides to see one last sunrise.

Spoilers: Up the end of season five.

Disclaimer: All this belongs to Joss Whedon and Co. I own the story.

Feedback: Please.

Night had fallen, and all was still. An owl chirped in the distance and silence devoured the lonely figure standing on the hill.

Spike watched the sky intently, as if waiting for something to happen.

He had been there for a while now, since the sun had sunk down behind the hills. He was alone. He smiled to himself,

“If only you were here with me. To be here with me one last time.”

Spike sighed,

“Why did you have to be all heroic and save the world? Why couldn’t the world just end? It did for me, that moment I saw your body lying there. My world ended and I felt as if I died all over again.”

Spike felt the small tear roll down his cheek but he didn’t wipe it away. He had lost Buffy two months ago, and his world had crumbled around him ever since then.

“I loved you so much Buffy. I miss you so much. So do your friends, your watcher and Dawn. They all miss you. But they have started to carry on with their lives, but I can’t forget you. I miss you, need you. Sometimes I even forget that you’re gone. I still wake up hoping that it was all a bad dream and you will come storming into my crypt and shout insults at me.”

Spike never moved his eyes from the same spot in the sky, the same star.

“You died for Dawn, for your friends, for the world and no one even knows it. No one will ever know that you died saving their sorry asses. But I know, I will always know what you did. You were a hero, my hero.”

Spike swallowed hard as the knot in his throat got tighter,

“I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to live knowing how I failed you by not saving Dawn. I hate this place, it all reminds me of you. I can’t go anywhere in this bloody town without seeing your face. Your friends, they tried to comfort me but they can’t, no one can quench this thirst I have for death. Only death its self could comfort me now.”

Spike watched over the horizon knowing that soon the sun would rise and he would be dust,

“It would be a gracious ending for me, to burst into fire and turn to dust. And to have my dust blown over the town where you lived, so that my ashes will be with your memory forever.”

Spike smiled,

“I wish you were here. To coach me on. To tell me how much you hate me, and want me to die. It would be that much easier. But I don’t mind, I need the peace that hell would bring me. Not that hell would be peaceful, but anything would be better than living here.”

Spike began to sob and shouted out the world beneath him,

“I tried, God dammit I tried so hard. But Doc was too strong, if only I had stopped him; you would still be here. It’s all my fault. I wish it had been me.”

Spike sobbed to himself,

“I want to see my last sunrise, to be taken by death like I should have been so long ago. It is calling me, calling my name in the wind. I want to go to it, but what is stopping me? Why is it so hard.”

A soft breeze began to blow and seemed to whisper in his ear,

“I’m counting on you to protect her.”

“Till the end of the world, even if that may be tonight.”

The breeze stopped and Spike stared down to the town,

“Till the end of the world. The world hasn’t ended yet has it. Dawn is still here, she needs me. Buffy needs me to protect her. I can’t fail her ever again.”

Spike stood up and watched as the first rays on sunlight drifted over the town,

“I’ll live for you Buffy. And your memory.”

Spike ran down the hill until he came to a small old crypt and climbed inside just missing the first rays of sunlight.

“I love you.”

The wind seemed to whisper.

Spike smiled and settled in to wait for night to fall once more.

THE END