Chapter 11:

Buffy had given herself two days to pull everything together and get some rest before coming out to butt her nose into Angel's business. For some reason she couldn't shake the feeling that this was not going to be a cake walk.

Whistler had spent another half hour telling her some of the things the LA crew had experienced the last six months. She knew a little about the year before from what Willow had told her after her little excursion.

She had rested fitfully the first night not even the dream was allowed to take hold as the thoughts in her head swirled out of control. There was too much to think about and sleep proved elusive once again.

But eventually sheer exhaustion has a way of catching up to you even if you have the extra stamina that comes with the slayer package. She had been watching a little TV when her eyes wouldn't stay open anymore and she was too afraid that if she moved the spell would be broken and she would be wide awake once again.

Letting herself drift off she settled comfortably into the softness of the couch.

Too soon she felt her eyes take in the familiar surroundings of the cavern again. Mentally she knew she must have groaned as her brain repeated the fact that once again she was dreaming.

She felt the weight of the dagger in her hands and felt a cool stir of air blow through her hair. There he was big red and ugly as usual one hand holding the sword she had really come to hate.

Her dream self had begun the strange dance of their fight on its own. The moves she made flowing from her without any thought. A few blocks and punches and she began to feel that sensation that told her the fatal distraction was in the room. This time she fought the urge to look centering herself against her foe.

She needn't have bothered it seemed the outcome took as little thought as the fight itself did. The hot slicing pain that stretched from her sternum to just below her belly button made her instinctively reach for her middle.

Whistler's words came back to her then. Unfinished business, maybe she had something else she was supposed to see in this little fiasco that played itself out in her mind. She fought against the pain instead concentrating on her surroundings and the movements of the now triumphant demon.

She could see him then out of the corner of her eye.

"Buffy!" He hadn't been able to see her before then she gathered and it was apparent as she watched his approach that he had been wounded also. Although nowhere near what she was dealing with.

She was gasping at air as the pain deepened searing her in white-hot agony. Her head was starting to become light with the loss of blood that she could feel oozing out between her fingers as she clung to herself desperately.

He had dropped to her side his blue eyes wet with fear at her condition.

"Oh God luv. Hold on. Just hold on for me."

"Hurts."

"I know pet but you've got to try." She watched fascinated at the single tear that began to track down his face. "Can't lose you again."

She reached out with a bloodied hand and rested it against his cheek.

"I'm sorry." It took so much effort for the words to come out.

He leaned closer in to her touch and she felt herself begin to slip away.

"Spike. I love you." Buffy felt her eyes grow heavy and knew that this was probably her last breath.

She sat up with a start.

She was shaking her body reacting to pain that wasn't really there. It had felt real enough though and the feeling of taking her last breath for the third time was wigging her out to the extreme.

But that wasn't what her mind was reacting to.

Buffy could, she realized, just zip what she had seen to the back of her mind and take the trip back into denial land. It was somewhere she had always been comfortable and it would be an easy enough escape.

Now however there was another part of her that was tired of shying away from her real feelings. She had left herself caged up for so long that the thought of a genuine feeling making its way from her sheltered heart buffered a little place in her soul. That place wanted to experience more than the isolation and despair that had been its constant companion. It wanted hope and friendship and warmth and love.

She was torn. Was it possible that the dream had been right and she actually did love Spike? It was probably likely that she did love him in some way. She cared about him and it wouldn't be that far a stretch for her to see the closeness they had shared turn into something deeper like love. But that was the love of close friendships.

If that was the case she was sure that it wouldn't have been that hard for her to see it in her dream. Sure she was denial girl but that would be ridiculous.

No now she was going into really dangerous territory for a battered heart.

Was she in love with him? The thought of analyzing the feeling was a tad more than frightening. Coming to terms with something of that magnitude would undoubtedly lead to much heartache and sorrow.

She thought back to that exact moment in the dream. The words had been said with a deep yearning and a tenderness she had never thought to possess. She had told him that she was sorry but it wasn't for the events that had recently taken place.

She had been sorry because she was leaving him, because she had been dying once again.

Gathering her courage she plowed through her memories of their times together. Thought back to their first meeting in the alley behind the Bronze, the night he had come to her for a truce to fight Angelus, the glee he had in the fight for the Gem of Amara, the day he had asked for help after getting chipped and the memories came faster still.

The joy she had felt during Willow's Will be done spell, the disappointment she had felt when he had helped Adam, her gratitude for the way he protected her sister, the comfort she had taken when her mother had become sick and faster they still came.

The support when her mother had died, a turning point in their dealings when he had started to become her emotional rock. The feeling of awe when she had discovered the torture he had taken to hide her sister from a demented hell god with bad hair.

The blur after she had come back to life. She dug deep inside and pulled out the fragmented feelings she had about the way they had been. Knowing how he felt about her, that he loved her, even though out loud she denied him the right to such a feeling. Using him to make her body feel something even if her heart could not. But it did. The guilt at using him as something other then the person he was, more like a tool. It was worse than having the Buffy Bot built because she was not seeking mindless release from a machine, but someone with thoughts and feelings. Guilt because she knew that it was her heart that was defective. Demeaning him every moment when they weren't having sex to make her feel better about the fact he was more of a person then she was. Pushing him even at the last as he realized the terrible mistake he was making, digging in that last cruel comment.

Then finding him mad down in the school basement her heart breaking as she watched him hang on a cross burning. And it had been her heart that had made the tears fall from her eyes as she discovered about his soul.

It was a bittersweet thing for her to notice that she had always cared for him in some way.

But it didn't answer the question. Was she in love with Spike? Her thoughts dwelled on her feelings since she had first learned of Drusilla's dusting.

She had wanted so desperately to comfort him, to take away the pain and shelter him in her arms. The pain she had felt as she watched him slide deeper into his own depression taking on a physical quality. The yearning to be able to do the right thing that pushed her to seek out the answers she couldn't find on her own. The grief of the confrontation to get him to Angel.

Now it was mingled with the despair that while that night helped him become better it had torn the fragile friendship they had to shreds. The emptiness she felt in her day-to-day existence without him being there and the sharp ache that came knowing that he didn't want to talk to her.

She concentrated on what she missed the most about him. There was the look of affection in his eyes when they talked and the way he could make her laugh. The way her heart skipped when he smirked at her. The warmth she felt when he told her he loved her.

Realization was like a splash of cold water.

She was in love with Spike.

Chapter 12:

Buffy stepped out of the elevator and in to the upper lobby area. She was tired and briefly wondered why she hadn't just stayed at the hotel and gotten some sleep. The tiny bit she had the night before had worn off now and the tedious flight was just making it worse.

Nope had to drop her stuff off and come straight here.

At least now she understood the reason why. She wanted to see him. If only so that her eyes can verify what Wesley had told her, that he was all right.

But it was also the part that caused the most trepidation. She knew that she loved him but he obviously hadn't wanted to speak to her or see her for that matter. Sending Wesley to get his stuff had sent that little message home.

Dwelling on that thought wasn't going to help her get through this particular little task though and she pushed it to the back of her mind. A deep sigh escaped her at the thought.

It was best if she just got this part over with and worried about everything else later. The confusion from her showing up here in the first place was going to cause enough problems.

Glancing around she looked at the central desk and noticed no one was there. Well she wouldn't have to check in with a secretary then. To her left she noticed the large double doors with a huge plate glass window next to them. The window was dark but she could guess that would be Angel's office. Walking closer she could start to hear the sound of raised voices.
Standing in front of the doors she could barely make out Angel and Wesley's voice.

She knocked on the door. She wasn't sure why but she had felt the need to be polite. When it wasn't answered she knocked again slightly louder. Again getting no response she decided the hell with being polite. Grabbing both doorknobs she threw them open and walked in.

It was suddenly silent, all eyes fixed on her as she made her way into the center of the room. Wesley and Angel were by the desk and she noticed that Harmony was to her right like she had been trying to leave the office before Buffy had come in. Her eyes slid over to her left and she could see Spike standing in the corner of the room. She pulled her eyes away quickly knowing that if she focused on him she wouldn't be able to get through this right now.

"Um Hi." The false cheer in her voice was a bit of a shock but it would do.

Angel just seemed to blink at her. Wesley on the other hand shook himself out of his apparent shock and smiled.

"Hello Buffy. It's good to see you again."

"Thank you Wesley."

The sound of them talking must have finally gotten through to Angel.

"Buffy what are you doing here?"

"And thank you it's nice to see you too Angel."

"Oh um yeah well, Hi?" She just nodded. "So why are you here?"

She sighed. She had been afraid of this. While she knew a little about the way Angel was going to have to help Spike from her research she also knew that they would be talking a great deal. And the fear that the facts of her last night talking to Spike would be discussed and change the way the others saw her was not something she had allowed herself to think about. But obviously she should have it was the only explanation for the cold greeting she was getting from her ex right now.

"We need to talk." And boy was that the truth.

She could see Wesley starting to make his way out of the room and she acknowledged his little push to Harmony with a small smile. Sensing the movement behind her she frowned.

"Spike it involves you too." She didn't turn unwilling to look him in the eye. The fact that he hadn't spoken not missed by her at all. Taking a deep breath she pushed the nagging feelings away.

The door now closed with just the three of them she walked closer to Angel's desk.

"So talk."

"This is important Angel do you think we can take the hostility down a notch?"

"No." Stupid stubborn vampires.

"Fine. But this isn't about any of us." She took a deep breath. "I've been sent to talk to you."

"Sent by whom?"

"Who do you think Angel? You know with as many messages as you get from them they should just put in phone line or something." His blank look was kind of getting on her nerves. "The Powers Angel. I know that Cordelia told you what she could but. Well this is hard. Look I can't really talk about this here. The walls in this place have ears and a bunch of sound equipment."

His face had changed when she had said Cordelia's name. Where she had seen a cold mask of indifference with her presence now there was the beginnings of anger.

"This room is fine. Tell me what you have to. Then go." She promised herself that she wouldn't get angry, that no matter what she was going to keep a cool head and not react to him.

"No and I don't really think you get it do you?" Silence was enough of an answer. "You are about to make a really dumb mistake and certain higher beings don't want that to happen. So they sent Cordelia. I won't tell you why they aren't done. Not here in this room and not in the middle of evil incorporated. So they sent me. Deal. When you want to talk you can reach me at my hotel." She took a slip of paper from her purse and laid it on the desk.

"Why are you really here?" Okay maybe a little anger was okay.

"I just told you why I'm here. Want to tell me what the deal is with you?"

"There is no deal with me Buffy. I just don't think we have much to talk about."

"And color me unsurprised." She closed her eyes trying to gather some strength. "Do you think this is easy for me? That I was all happy and bouncy as I boarded the plane this morning? This wasn't my choice. So whatever you think or feel or whatever just put it aside. Lord knows I've had to."

"And Spike's still in the room because?"

"Because that's the way they want it." All it had taken was for Angel to say his name and she could feel her resolve melt away. Suddenly it was just too hard to be in that office. She felt as if the walls were closing in on her and she needed to get out.

"Why?" It was the first word he'd spoken and the sound of his voice felt bittersweet. She had missed that voice.

He was walking now coming to stand on the side of Angel's desk moving so that he was in her line of sight. She couldn't control her eyes as they hungrily drank in the sight of his face. He looked good she realized not that she had really expected any different and the grief she had seen cement into his features was now gone. The look in his eyes was what caught her off guard however as he looked her over critically. They were wary watching her like she was some sort of predator mixed with something she thought was close to fear.

That tugged at her heart. She had caused this.

"I really can't explain that right now." Her voice had lost all it's strength and the words were flat almost monotone. But she couldn't find it in herself to care about that. The only thing she wanted to do was get out of that office.

"I have to go." She quickly turned on her heel and headed to the door.

"Buffy wait." Stopping mid stride she waited.

He didn't speak again though and she found herself staring longingly at the double doors in front of her. The silence seemed to stretch achingly long and the tension in her muscles was coiling tighter and tighter.

It was too much. She finally turned and faced them both.

"I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry." Her voice was barely above a whisper as she focused on Spike's face. "I know that whatever I say you're both still going to hate me. But I'm glad that he could help you."

The look of astonishment on his face didn't register in her addled mind nor did the disapproving stare from Angel.

She was beyond tired, beyond trying to push through her troubled feelings and react and say things that made sense. Her shoulders slumped and she turned to leave again.

"Is that what you really think?" Her head picked up a little at his tone.

"Does that matter? I have to go." She wasn't able to make her first step when a hand landed roughly on her shoulder and turned her around.

Not having a choice in the matter she looked into his face and focused on his eyes.

"Tell me. Is that really what you think?"

"Fine. Is there another explanation for the way you guys are acting? I know what I did. I understand all of it so please just let me go so I can get some sleep."

"What the hell is going through that brain of yours?"

"It doesn't matter. Not right now."

"You look terrible." She gave Angel the glare he deserved.

"Thank you again. Could you possibly kick me any harder while I'm down?"

"When was the last time you slept?" Back to the vamp that was in front of her.

"A full night? Somewhere between September and August. Do we have to do this now? I'll explain everything I can later alright?"

"What's happened to you?"

"Nothing I'm fine now can I please get out of here. This whole place gives me a bad case of the wiggins. Just meet me tonight at the hotel. Bring whoever you want from your group this really involves all of them anyway."

His hand fell from her shoulder and she once again went to leave. This time neither of them stopped her and she slipped out the door.

Back in the lobby she waited for the elevator to open and glanced back at the desk. Yep there was Harmony she really was his secretary. How annoying would that be? Seeing her gaze the ditzy vampire hid behind her desk.

Some things still didn't change.

Chapter 13:

The bed felt like resting on a little peace of heaven and for once she was able to blank out her mind.

This time sleep would come she was bound and determined. And this time knowing what her dream had been trying to tell she knew instinctively that it wouldn't be back.

A contented sigh passed her lips as she felt herself drift away.

The sound of knocking pushed through the sleepy fog in her head and she opened her eyes. Turning her head she looked at the clock and saw that only three hours had passed. Not nearly enough time.

"I'm not here! And if you don't want to end up dead you'll stop pounding on that door!" How she had mustered up enough energy to shout was beyond her but she was damned if she was getting out of this bed.

The pounding resumed in earnest though and she threw one of the pillows across the room.

Getting to her feet she stalked over to the door noticing that her tinglies were going off. It was one of the two feelings she recognized so the amount of surprise she felt was dimmed as she opened the door.

"Already dead luv." He called her luv! Okay got to calm down probably doesn't mean anything by that. Just old habits.

"Um what? I mean... Did I miss something? Aren't you a little early?" She looked past him into the hallway but he was the only one there.

He just looked quizzically at her.

"I woke you up." He seemed unsure about that.

"Uhhh yeah, sort of." She knew the shorts and t-shirt she was wearing or the bed head she had to be sporting gave that away.

"I'm sorry I should let you sleep." He turned to go.

"No its okay. Why don't you come in?" She backed away from the door and watched as he stepped inside.

"Just give me a minute okay?" She took a change of clothes into the bathroom. Throwing them on she washed her face and ran a brush through her hair.

Going back into the room she looked at him while he paced the room. She wondered what he was thinking.

"I'm sorry." She couldn't stop saying that.

His pacing stopped and he stared at her. She looked deeply into his blue eyes and the familiar sensation of drowning in them hit her full force. It was so easy to lose herself in those expressive orbs. But she had to remind herself that he might not be to welcoming of that now.

His head tilted as he watched her. Feeling suddenly nervous in his gaze she walked over to the bed and sat down.

"Why are you sorry?" The question was soft like he was truly trying to understand.

"What I said before, what I did, I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you." That hadn't been her intention.

When he just continued to stare she felt the need to explain.

"I know that you have to hate me now and I understand. What I said, it was awful but I didn't know what else to do. And you're okay now so..."

"Why do you keep saying that?"

"Saying what?"

"What in the bleedin' world would make you think that I hate you?"

She looked at him like he had suddenly grown a second head.

"Why wouldn't I? This is the first time we've talked in over four months. You even sent Wesley to get your things and give me your key. I think that tells me what I needed to know." The words were strong but there was no fight in her voice.

"You've lost your bloody mind haven't you?"

"And this conversation is so helping. I really can't do this Spike." He was still standing across the room from her almost as if he didn't want to be in the same room with her.

His gaze was really starting to unnerve her.

"What are you trying to do?"

"Figure out what goes on in that head of yours."

"Surprisingly not too much. Spike why are you really here? I know you don't want to see me and I'm sorry." See there was that word again.

"Listen to me you silly bint. I don't hate you. Couldn't if I wanted to." The words startled her and she was unwilling to interpret them.

"Come on Spike. We both know that can't be true. I remember what I said and I hate me. It hurts but it's okay you don't have to pretend."

She saw frustration flash in his eyes and watched as he stalked to the bed. He kneeled in front of her the action reminding her of that night in that stranger’s house. A new fresh wave of pain crossed her heart. Had all of it really been snatched so far out of her grasp?

"Buffy." His voice was soft and it brought her attention back to his eyes. "I. Don't. Hate. You."

"You have to. I don't deserve anything less."

With the look on his face she was certain that she could have literally knocked him over with a feather.

"Look you stubborn chit I need you to listen to me. Not a word you hear?" The tone he used was full of force and she nodded her head meekly in reply. He sighed deeply.

"You were right to do what you did. I've never seen anyone be so selfless in my entire existence. Yeah you pushed all my buttons all right but that only means you knew me well enough to push the right ones. But you did what I needed. I would have never sought Peaches out on my own and you knew that.

So yeah I was mad at first. Couldn't help it you got my blood boiling pretty good. When I got here the Poof and I had a few words and I admit I vented a little about you and what you said. Probably explains why the bastard was so rude today.

But that didn't last wrong cause God help me Buffy I saw what you did. What you were willing to do I can't even imagine. So no I don't hate you."

"Then why send Wesley to get your things? Why didn't you just call me?" She wanted to understand but she was unwilling to let the words sink into her mind.

"You don't get it do you?" He stood and resumed his pacing. "I almost hurt you Buffy."

"What are you talking about?"

He sat next to her on the bed his eyes focused on the wall in front of him.

"You asked me to remember? I almost lost it and hit you."

She thought back to that night remembering now that she had tried to incite the violence in his demon to make him see. That was right he had stopped himself before it had happened. It had been that self-control that she had been counting on.

"I pushed you to it."

"Will you stop trying to be a martyr? It was me. I was going to hurt you." He turned slightly to face her. "I promised myself that I was never going to hurt you again. Bloody went out and got my soul so I wouldn't but it didn't help. Demon was gettin' the better of me." He paused and looked down at her hands resting in her lap. Taking one of his hands he covered hers. "You want to know why I haven't tried to talk to you? It's not hate Buffy, not anger, not a million other things then this; I don't deserve to be anywhere near you and I realize that now."

"What?" Not a very comprehensive statement but she could work around that.

"You deserve someone better in your life, not a monster. This only proved to me that no matter what I do the monster will still be there."

"Are you serious? That's it?" Stupid vampire.

"It's bloody enough don't you think? Thought staying away would make it easier for you."

"I can't believe this." She stood up suddenly and felt her own need to pace. Thinking for a minute she stopped and stared at him while he sat on the bed.

"You're right I don't deserve you." She saw him be taken aback by her words. "How could I? Look at the things I've done to you to the other people around me. Don't you see? There isn't going to be anyone better in my life. Who's going to be better than someone who understands me like you do? Who was able to love me no matter what happened. What's better then that? But it doesn't change the fact that I don't deserve you, that you deserve someone better than me."

She watched him shake his head as if to clear it.

"Have you gone and hit your head?"

She ignored his comment. "I did the same thing to you that I've done my entire life. I pushed you away just like everyone else."

He stood and grabbed her by the shoulders.

"Why are you doin' this to yourself?"

"Because it's true don't you see that? I thought it was all some sort of mystical saying the slayer is alone and all. But it really is the truth. It's how it's supposed to be. How I truly am now." She hated herself for the sob that escaped her throat.

He crushed her body to him wrapping her in his embrace. He was mumbling something she couldn't quite make out and was peppering the top of her head with kisses in between.

"No." she let it out as she pushed him away. She watched as the hurt flickered across his face. "Don't do this. It's not your fault its mine. Don't take this on yourself."

She looked on as something deep moved through his eyes.

"My God woman. You really think the bloody universe is your fault don't you?" He took her arms again and sat her on the bed. Kneeling in front of her he placed his hands on her knees. "I'm only going to say this once so I expect you to pay attention." She saw the earnestness in his eyes and remained silent.

"I've bled inside everyday for the last four months being away from you. You’re the only spot of sunlight that I've had in my dark existence. I could never hate you Buffy because I love you.

That you let me into your life at all has been one of the greatest gifts I've had in my unlife. That you considered me a friend touched my heart in ways no one can comprehend.

But that you were willing to sacrifice yourself to save the mind of a stupid half crazed vampire I can't even describe how much that touched my soul.

I'm not expecting anything of you pet. I understand that you could never love me. But it isn't fair of me to keep hanging around the shadows of your life. Not when you could go out there and find someone else."

For some reason a bubble of anger had started in her gut and she could feel it growing in intensity. Why did the men in her life always insist there was someone else better out there?

"There's never going to be someone else. Don't you understand that? You're probably the last person I'm ever going to allow into my heart because it hurts too much. I can't deal with any more pain. So isn't it up to me to decide if I want you in my life or not? Is it really fair for me that everyone else keeps making that decision? The what's best for Buffy program. Well let me tell you something that program bites. I'm tired of it. So tell me without thinking about what's best for me what do you want?"

He sighed again and ran his hand through his hair.

"You know what I would want but it doesn't matter cause it will never happen."

"Do me a favor and refresh my memory."

"Fine. I love you and the only thing that I want is to be a part of your life."

"That's what we had before. Now tell me what deep down you really want."

His blue gaze seemed to look deep within her and she could feel her breath hitch in her throat.

"Why are you doing this? You keep draggin’ out old wounds."

"Because maybe this time we should actually try to heal them instead of just bandaging them. Tell me."

"What tell you that all I've ever wanted is for you to love me? That you would want me in your life as more than a friend? Is that what you really want to know? How much it still hurts that it will never happen?" His eyes drifted away to stare back into space.

She watched him as he sat silently knowing that in this second she could hurt him worse than she had ever done with her fists alone.

"Never is a very long time." Her voice had grown soft. She waited as his head turned sharply to regard her again. She let all of her feelings show in her eyes letting him know how sincere she was.

She placed her palm to cup his cheek.

"Do you know how hard the last few months have been thinking that I lost you forever? It was the worst feeling in the world. Like someone had ripped out my soul left me completely empty. I hate that feeling. I don't want to ever have it happen again."

"What are you trying to say pet?"

Instead of talking she leaned her head forward and let her lips barely brush his. Looking into his eyes she saw the awe that he felt.

"That I'll always want you to be a part of my life Spike. You're more than just my friend. I love you."

She watched as a parade of emotions danced across his face. Looks of wonder, of disbelief, of acceptance and finally of joy at her simple words. Words she wished she could have said a long time ago.

She felt her heart begin to race as she waited for him to say anything and break the silence between them. As seconds ticked by and turned into a minute then two she began to feel a little nervous.

"Um Spike are you going to say anything?"

In response he moved his head closer to hers so they were millimeters apart.

"Do you mean that?" He was breathing heavily and Buffy found it somewhat amusing considering hello vampire so not needing the breath.

"I mean it Spike. I love you."

She was pleased when his lips suddenly crashed against hers and began a searing kiss.
 

Chapter 14:

Buffy was getting a little light headed from the lack of oxygen and regretfully tore her lips away. She pressed her forehead to his taking in much needed gulps of air.

Her eyes never left his soaking in the adoration she could see blazing in their blue depths. Neither of them moved not wanting to break the moment they were sharing.

The knock on her door startled both of them.

"I should get that." She didn't sound very convincing even to herself.

"Probably pet. Can't say that I want you too though." She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

Walking to the door she opened it to stare into the glowering face of the ex love of her life.

"Hello Angel. Come on in." He brushed past her and she couldn't help but wonder what the hell he was brooding about now.

Following behind him was Wesley who gave her an apologetic smile as he entered. After him was a man and a woman that Buffy didn't know.

Once everyone was inside she closed the door and motioned for them to take the chairs and couch that had come with the room. With them seated she walked back over to the bed and sat next to Spike.

The action was not lost on Angel and his face took on an even darker look. One she had not seen since he had been Angelus. It was kind of freaking her out.

He hadn't said anything yet so maybe he was waiting for her.

She focused on the two people she didn't know and smiled warmly at them.

"Hi I'm Buffy."

"Dear lord where are my manners? Buffy this is Fred and Gunn." She knew the Englishman was covering for Angel but let it go for now.

"It's nice to meet you. So everybody's wondering what I have to say so why don't we get down to business."

She took a deep breath knowing she was going to stir up a boatload of trouble.

"You need to leave Wolfram and Hart."

Letting the sentence go she worried at the looks of disbelief on the others in the room. This was definitely going to be an uphill battle.

At least they weren't like the Scoobies with the shouting and yelling and all.

"Let me start over all right? I've gotten a visit from someone Angel knows two in fact in the last year but not going there."

"Who would that be?" Bless Wesley.

"Whistler." At the name Angel's head whipped up and his eyes focused on hers. "What? I told you that the Powers that Be contacted me. How did you think they did it?" She moved on not waiting for an answer. "They know how this place is affecting you guys and the fact that it's only going to get worse, much worse. So they sent me here to have a few words with Angel here."

"Worse in what way?" It was Gunn who asked.

"Kind of like the sending the world to hell kind of worse. But I think there's going to be a bunch of stuff in between."

"I don't know what you're talking about. We've done a lot of good by coming here." She could practically hear Angel snarling.

"What the hell is your problem? You've been nothing but all grr since I got here. Am I missing something?"

"You think you can just walk back into our lives and tell us to give up on what we're doing here? You don't have the right after the things you've done."

"Care to explain that a little bit?" Her whole body had tensed knowing that this was going to be very ugly.

"I know what happened between the two of you." He gestured to Spike. "And what happened in Sunnydale. You think you just get to disappear and come back and decide what everyone else is going to do?"

Her temper was flaring out of control now and she found herself standing without realizing it.

"Oh like you didn't teach me that little trick? How dare you. You have no idea what's been going on in my life. I didn't just show up here because I thought it would be a good time you asshole."

A gentle hand landed on her shoulder and she felt the anger fizzle. She gave a grateful glance over her shoulder at the man that now owned her heart.

She turned her attention back to the others in the room.

"None of that matters right now. The fact remains that you need to get out of that hell hole before the crap hits the fan."

"Give us a good reason." What the hell was with him?

"How about that they've been playing us since the beginning. All of this has been orchestrated by the group you call the Senior Partners."

"What do you mean Buffy?"

"Think about it. The Powers have invested all their energy into having certain Champions and Warriors right? It used to be just the Slayer, but then they got a vampire who was cursed with a soul. Then a certain slayer dies for like five seconds and they get a two for one deal. Followed closely by another vampire that does the unthinkable and goes and gets his soul, on his own mind you to prove to a very dumb woman that he loves her. Four Warriors with different destinies all working towards the same thing. So what's the most evil law firm in I don't know how many dimensions supposed to do?"

She could tell she had their attention now.

"Well considering that three of us were in the same house and working together for a while probably freaked them out. So I bet they started to look for way to make us weaker. Well what was the only thing you could do to the Sunnydale Slayer? Couldn't even kill her cause not so much with the staying dead."

"The Scoobies." She smiled tenderly at him.

"You always said it wasn't supposed to be part of the package. Yeah so they hit me where it would hurt the most. They had managed to get a person on the inside I guess to keep an eye on what we were doing. When I got to close to figuring things out they managed to cause enough distrust to get me thrown out of my own house."

"Who was it pet?" His angry snarl caught her off guard.

"Kennedy. She was working for Wolfram and Hart since the beginning. You guys might want to look up what kind of deal she had. Something to do with getting power. Probably not a good thing."

"If I ever see that bitch..."

"Never mind Spike I'm over it. Well not over but you know what I mean."

"I don't see how that would help." Fred said quietly.

"Well seeing as how they did it right before I went to go fight a majorly strong Big Bad, let's just say it was demoralizing. If Spike hadn't of found me you probably would have had to attend another Buffy funeral." The low growl from behind her made a smile creep onto her face. She took a step behind her and felt his strong chest against her back and sighed.

"Maybe they didn't know how much things had really changed between the two of us or maybe they were thinking I wouldn't be able to function without my friends. Not that I'm saying it wasn't hard but it didn't break me. Because I still had someone." His arm had snuck its way around her waist and she couldn't help but smile inwardly at the even darker look she got from Angel.

Her hand dropped to his squeezing it because she knew this next bit was going to be hard on him.

"So they had Faith all alone with my friends which I hear not as good. But Spike and I were still supporting each other in Cleveland. So they had to find a way to separate the two of us. But this time they didn't go after me. They went and did the one thing that they knew would hurt a vampire." He had dropped his arm from her waist and took a step back. She turned and looked at his face and read the look of pain in his eyes.

"It was in Mexico. They trailed and cornered her in an alley. I'm sorry." Her hand reached out and touched his chest. He wrapped his hand around hers for a moment before letting go.

"I'll kill the miserable wankers." The feral quality in his eyes shone brightly.

"What the hell are you talking about?" She turned and gave him a frustrated glare.

"Are you not listening Angel? Wolfram and Hart hired mercenaries to kill Drusilla."

"They wouldn't dare."

"Please why not? You think just because you signed up with them that they wouldn't touch anyone else you knew? Are you that naive?" She turned back to look at Spike for a moment making sure he was okay.

He gave her a slight nod his jaw clenched in anger that had no outlet for now.

"What exactly were they hoping to accomplish?"

"I think you know the answer to that as well as I do Wesley. I'm not sure about the final result they wanted but you know the effects of a vampire losing a closely bonded sire."

At the look of confusion on the other two's faces she gave them an apologetic smile.

"Sorry it's one of those rare vampire things. Wesley can explain it later. What they apparently didn't count on though was me sending Spike to Angel."

"Surprised me too luv."

"You needed him." She shrugged. "But they didn't know that I knew that or that I would do anything to make sure it happened. So they weren't counting on the two of you working together."

"But what about you?"

"Honestly? If they wanted me out of the picture? I don't know. The last few months have been rough."

"What's this got to do with things now?"

"What you think the mind games just suddenly stopped?" She thought for a minute. "Had any Mountain Dew lately? Oh wait that was Spike." She smirked at the dark vamp.

"How...?"

"Oh please so not hard. Whistler gave me the highlights." She had more but thought it best to wait until they were alone.

"So the point is they are using you like a bunch of puppets. I say you cut the strings. Walk away from them."

"Do you honestly believe they would just let us leave?"

"No I don't. I don't know about you Gunn but I hate to be played. At least this way your forcing their hand making them come out and fight in the open."

"And if we don't?"

"I don't know short term wise. But every choice you make is something they've planned for. And in the end?" She didn't bother to elaborate letting them figure it out for themselves.

She took in the looks of thoughtfulness of the three humans in the room. If they were considering it she was making progress. Letting her eyes drift to Angel she was disappointed to see his face had not changed. He wasn't buying a single word too intent on not trusting her. She sighed deeply.

"Why don't you let them sleep on it pet? See how they feel in the mornin'."

She gave a short nod. "Is that all right with you?" She only addressed the living in the room.

"It is a lot to think about Buffy."

"I know Wesley really. If you want to ask me anything I'll be right here."

They stood up to go and Buffy walked towards the door. Opening it for them she let them pass. When Angel approached she stopped in front of him blocking his path.

"I don't think we're done yet." She closed the door.

"Funny I thought we were."

"Just sit down Angel." At his glare she felt her hands settle on her hips. "Sit or I'll make you sit. Either way doesn't matter."

He took in her stance and the tilt of her head for a moment. Something flickered behind his eyes and he turned and retook his seat.

She went and stood directly in front of him.

"So do I get an explanation now or what?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Is that so? Well considering I've had nicer conversations with Angelus I'd say you have something to tell me."

He flinched at the name. Good she had touched a nerve.

"Look you have what you came for. You've got the Bleached Wonder over there so why don't you go ahead and go."

"Have I been talking to myself for the last half hour? As much joy as it brings me to see Spike he isn't the reason I made this little trek. What do I need to say to convince you of that?"

"I don't think you could say anything. Seems like you've made your choice a while ago."

"Oh my God. You're jealous? Is that what all this is about? Because I left town and didn't come running to you?"

"It's where you belong."

"Hello deluded much. Since when did I belong out here?"

"You love me." She ignored the slight snarl from the other vamp.

She gaped at him unable for a moment to form words.

"I love you?" She let the words roll out in a question trying to make them make sense. She shook her head and lowered herself into another chair.

"You still love me I know it." The cocky sound of his voice made something scratch in her mind.

"I still care about you Angel but that doesn't mean I'm still in love with you. Considering you've thrown every chance we've had of being together out the window I have to wonder what it is you feel about me." She could feel Spike's eyes boring into her back trying to figure out what was going on.

"What are you talking about?"

"Us Angel. You left Sunnydale not me. You were the one who had the chance to be human and got the oracles to turn back time." His shocked look spurred her on.

"Yeah Whistler dropped that little bomb. So you made sure you were still a vamp so I wouldn't die and erased my memory of the whole thing. News flash Angel I still died and you were no where in sight."

"You are the dumbest oaf I have ever seen. Your not a poof you're a impotent git." Her head whipped around to look at the disbelieving blond. "You had the chance to be with her and you decided that being a vamp was better? Do you know what I would do for a chance like that?"

"I did what I thought was best. I still love you Buffy."

"Do you? I thought that you loved Cordelia or at least that was the impression she got before she died. And I could have sworn you were dating a werewolf. Make up your mind Angel."

"But..."

"I did love you for a long time. But not the way you think. I was in love with the idea you represented. The oh my God it's so romantic and tragic kind of love. That's not real. If you want to know the truth I'm in love with him."

She could of heard a pin drop in the room and was kind of thinking of walking over and picking Angel's jaw off the floor.

"So now that's out in the open can we please talk about the apocalypse I'd like to stop?"

Chapter 15:

"What is it exactly we're facing luv?"

"I'm not sure Spike. All I know is Angel is supposed to make a decision that will either help us defeat this place or end the world."

"No pressure there."

"So Angel you want to tell me what little plans you got swirling around that brain of yours."

She stared at him noticing that all he seemed capable of doing for the moment was staring between herself and Spike.

"Hello Earth to Angel?" She watched as he slowly shook his head.

"You love him?" Crap.

"Yes Angel. I love Spike. Would you like me to spell that for you?"

"How could you possibly love Spike?" Inwardly she suppressed a groan. This was going to be a long night.

"How couldn't I? You've seen the way he loves, completely with everything he is, how could I not fall in love with him?" She could feel the curiosity in the gaze centered on the back of her head. Well if they were going to hash this out now he might as well get to look in her eyes as it happens.

She stood and moved in front of Spike. Taking his arm gently she steered him to the couch and motioned for him to sit. Satisfied she went back and sat in the chair she had before.

"But this is Spike." Would he ever shut up?

"And you of all people should understand. You saw how much he loved Drusilla used it against him if I remember correctly."

"But...." She sighed heavily.

"What are you going to say? That he's a vampire and I couldn't love a vampire? Well hello pot calling kettle. That he used to be a soulless demon? Again not so much room for talk. Like you he's got his soul now. But do you really want to know the difference? If for some reason he lost his soul right now he would still love me and he wouldn't do anything to hurt me. Can you say the same Angel? Cause having experienced it for myself I'm thinking not."

She stood then and began to pace.

"No it hasn't been easy and yes we've both done some really hurtful stupid things. But there isn't a day that goes by when I don't think about him. Not a second when I can imagine my life without him. Not a moment in the last four months where I didn't feel an aching pain at being apart." She was staring into his blue eyes now not even paying attention to see if Angel was listening or not. "So yeah I love him. That true I can't possibly live without you because it cuts me up inside love. The hard messy worth it kind of love."

She sat back into the chair and focused her attention back on Angel.

"So are we done talking about this now?"

She could read the hurt in his eyes and a small part of her felt a tiny pang of regret. It wasn't her intention to cause him pain but the sooner he realized the truth the better it would be for all of them. And she had the sneaking suspicion that it would be in their best interest in the future if he was very comfortable with the fact that she loved Spike.

"Yes."

"Good."

"But I don't see why we would need to leave Wolfram and Hart." He was making her head hurt.

"Well that's my idea. It would just be better if you left. With everything that's happened there you would think that you would want to leave."

His eyes slid away from hers.

"I can't."

She didn't even try to pretend.

"Because of Connor. Do you really think they're going to keep their word?"

"How? How did you?"

"Angel I made sure they filled me in on everything. Even the stuff you did that wasn't so great. The others if they ever found out would be pissed."

"What are you talking about and who is Connor?" Buffy sighed.

"You should tell him Angel he is family." There was a pained look on Angel's face. "Fine if you don't want to that's up to you. But the fact is as long as you let them control you this way they're winning."

"You don't understand."

"Believe me I do. But this was never going to be a permanent solution and you should have known that. Making a deal with a bunch of evil lawyers is never going to end well."

"I just don't know what to do Buffy."

"Cordelia had the right idea you know. You have kind of lost yourself. I just wished she had explained it better and dropped all the cryptic soul searching crap. I hate that."

"So I got it wrong?"

"It's not your fault. They just suck at their timing is all. It wouldn't have been bad if you'd left like you wanted to before she showed up. The point was that you were the one who fights for what's right, okay. So what's so right about working in the office of evil incorporated? Nothing."

"Then I should just quit?"

"See now you get it. Less with the cryptic is of the good. Yes get out and take your friends with you before something really bad happens. Fight on your terms not theirs. But don't go out and pick petty fights either. Save yourself for the big battles."

"And what about Connor?" She looked deep into his eyes for a moment.

"They have a plan for him Angel. I know it hurts to even think about it but he really doesn't belong here."

"I can't accept that."

"I understand that too. Follow your heart with him its the only thing you can do. But right now he's living a lie and so is everyone else that knew him. You can't let that go on. And don't you think he'll resent it more once he finds out about this?"

He hung his head at her words and let out a deep sigh.

"I just don't know." She looked him over for a second thinking that he looked so tired, so beaten.

"Go and think about it. Take a night and stay at the hotel you used to live at. Get some perspective on the thing. If you need me I'll be here."

His eyes had taken on a worn and resigned look. Her heart tugged a little for him, sorry that someone she considered a friend had such a hard road ahead of them. Sorry she had to deliver the news herself.

He nodded in agreement and stood to go. She followed him to the door and gently placed a hand on his arm as he moved forward.

"I know this is hard but I'll help any way I can."

He nodded again and walked out the door.

She made sure the door was shut and sagged against it letting out a long sigh.

"Has it always been this hard to get through to him?"

"Long as I've known him." She walked slowly back over to him and sagged down next to his side.

"Want to explain some of that pet?"

"I would but it's not my place." His nod let her feel some relief that maybe she was done for the night. She let her eyes slip shut and her body relax.

After a moment she realized he'd been speaking.

"Huh?"

"Buffy you all right luv?"

"Sorry just tired."

"You should get some rest." He stood up. "I'll come by in the mornin' see if the others have made a decision."

"Spike could you stay here? I mean if you want to." After being apart for so long she didn't want him to leave.

"Sure. Why don't you go get ready."

She forced herself off of the couch and back into the bathroom to change into the shorts and t-shirt she'd had on earlier. Once done she walked back into the room and flopped herself onto the bed.

"All set?" She barely gave him a lazy nod.

He flicked off the light and made his way to the bed. Lying down next to her he gathered her in his arms holding her close.

"Spike." Her voice was muffled with the on come of sleep.

"Yeah pet?"

"I missed you."

"Missed you too luv." The sound of his voice and the comfort of his arms sent her drifting away in slumber.
 

Chapter 16:

There was a slight tapping noise that was tugging at the corner of her mind prodding her to wake. It was slow and gentle and insistent. She tried to ignore the feeling and let her body drift in the carefree fog that surrounded her senses.

But the tapping wouldn't stop.

Eventually it became to strong an urge and her mind began to clear. Her brain pulling itself into wakefulness.

Opening her eyes she was able to place the tapping noise. Someone had been knocking softly on the door.

Looking over she saw Spike murmuring through the door. His back was to her and his hair was tousled from sleep. He was shirtless and she watched suddenly fascinated by the play of his muscles under his skin. She found she was holding her breath and let it out slowly.

"Who is it Spike?"

His head turned at the sound of her voice.

"Sorry didn't want to wake you luv."

"No it's all right." For the first time in months she felt completely rested. It was great.

Spike motioned through the door and a haggard looking Wesley came into the room. Taking in his appearance she sat upright in bed.

"Wes are you okay?"

"Um yes actually I'm fine. I just wanted to tell you the others haven't reached a decision yet but..." He sighed and sat in one of the chairs. "I'm leaving that bloody place."

"It won't be easy but it's the right thing."

"I also came to tell you I have some information."

"About what?"

"The dagger you asked me to research? I've found its origins. It's a ceremonial dagger created in the blood of a pure warrior. It was used to kill the last of the pure demons that walked the earth."

"So that can't be good then can it?"

"I'm afraid I don't have an answer to that. It was believed to be a myth."

"Excuse me but what the bloody hell are you babblin' about?"

"I had a slayer dream Spike and I asked Wesley to look up a few things for me."

"And what exactly happens in this dream?"

"Basically some fighting with an ugly red thing and me holding that dagger." He was giving her that look again like he knew she wasn't telling him something. But he seemed to shake his head and let it go.

She took a quick glance at the clock and saw that it was only seven in the morning.

"Did you sleep at all?"

The ex Watcher seemed to give her a sheepish expression.

"Well not exactly."

"I'll take that as a no. Go home and get some sleep. We can figure all of this out later."

"I assure you that I'm all right Buffy."

"Listen to her Percy. Might need to use that brain of yours for somethin' later. Won't be any good if you don't get some kip."

She watched as his gaze flicked back and forth to her and Spike.

"Maybe just a little. You will let me know if the other's contact you?"

"I'll call you as soon as I hear. Now go on."

He agreed quickly and made a hasty retreat.

Buffy reclined back onto the bed relishing in the feeling of relaxation in her muscles. One down and three to go. Of course Wesley had agreed first he was the sensible one after all.

She looked over to see Spike studying her intently. When their eyes made contact he walked to the side of the bed and sat next to her.

"What?"

"Have I told you how gorgeous you look in the morning?"

She paused like she was giving the thought serious consideration, trying to ignore the warmth in her cheeks or the speeding up of her heart.

"I don't think so."

He placed a hand on her cheek and she could only gaze into his eyes.

"Well let me correct that then hmm? You look so beautiful like the angel you are."

"Spike-" She breathed his name a lump forming in her throat.

He leaned his head closer to hers so their brows were barely touching.

"Tell me you meant what you said last night." He didn't bother to hide the desperation in his voice and she felt her heart beat a little faster in her chest.

"Every word." She raised a hand to rest against the back of his neck slowly stroking the skin there. "I love you."

"Again." She couldn't resist the plea in his eyes as he breathed the word to her.

"I love you Spike." Buffy could see his eyes shining brightly from the tears that threatened to fall. She pulled his head to her and moved her lips over his in a slow gentle kiss.

He wrapped his arms around her body pulling them closer together.

Entwined in his arms feeling his cool lips move over her warm ones she thought she had never felt anything so right in her entire life. Here locked in his embrace she felt truly at peace and completed. It was better then heaven even dreamed of being.

Pulling back to get some air she brushed at the tears that had rolled from her eyes.

"Buffy pet what's wrong?" His voice held a slight edge of panic.

She giggled, the first time she remembered doing that in ages.

"Spike nothing. Happy tears only I promise." She watched as he visibly relaxed. "Have I told you how cute you look with bed hair?"

"Hey! Big Bad here! I don't do cute."

"Hmm then can I tell you how sexy you look with bed hair?" His low growl sent a shiver up her spine.

"Anytime luv." His lips found hers again, pressing roughly as if searching for something deeper. Buffy slid her tongue over his bottom lip and was rewarded with a small moan. As his lips parted she slipped her tongue inside, slowly tasting and exploring him.

Her own moan slipped from her as his tongue slid against hers. They swirled against each other savoring in the taste of one another. Pausing only when Buffy's need for oxygen became too strong for her to resist.

His hand slowly caressed her face.

"Buffy love you so much."

"Show me Spike."

A sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob came from him as he kissed her.

Their mouths met in a slow passionate kiss that started as a slow burn. It was a greedy meeting of lips and teeth, sucking and nibbling driving the burn into a roaring flame. Tongues probed questioningly, delving into the darkest recess of each other, seeking the familiarity of the others touch. She could feel the warmth spread through her body, racing along her nerve endings.

The pull to move her hands, to feel him beneath her fingers had become too strong to resist and she moved her hands across his shoulders and down his back. Reaching the waistband of his pants she brought her hands around his front and slowly traced the muscles of his chest.

His hands had begun to wander and they ghosted over her face, along the curve of her neck and down her sides. They lightly brushed against the sides of her breasts, trickling down her sides until they reached the hem of the shirt she was wearing. He grasped her by the hips for a moment deepening the kiss infusing it with the desperate need to be closer to her.

She gasped as his hands moved under the thin cotton of her shirt and trailed across her stomach. Grasping the hem of her shirt he pushed it up. Leaning forward she raised her arms as he removed it from her. Feeling his fingers kneading into the soft flesh of her breasts caused her to arch herself into his touch. She shivered as his mouth trailed small kisses down her neck and down into the hollow of her throat.

The tenderness in his touch was driving her insane. It had been too long since she had been touched, too long for her to have any form of patience. As his mouth pulled in one of her tight nipples she grasped his hands and pulled them down to the waist of her shorts. Apparently getting the hint he tugged on her shorts pulling them off as she raised her hips in cooperation. Clad in only her underwear she knew that she needed him naked like now. Placing her hands back on his chest she trailed them over his pecs her thumb flicking over a nipple.

The moan that rumbled against her chest tugged in her abdomen letting loose a series of excited tremors. She flitted her hands down to the button of his jeans and flicked her wrist unfastening it with a satisfying pop. Her fingers grasped the metal tab of his zipper and eased down. Once done he stood and took them off.

Locking her eyes with his as he moved closer to her, she shifted a bit towards the center of the bed making room for him without thinking. He stretched out beside her his hands once again roaming over her sensitive skin. She focused only on the feel of his touch how it stirred inside of her. Her own hands were moving again until they trailed up to his neck and pulled him to her for a fevered kiss.

His hand brushed the cotton of the last barrier between their two bodies lightly stroking her. She raised her hips to his touch impatient for them to be closer. As if he knew what she was feeling he hooked his finger through the elastic string of her panties and pulled them off her. Her breath hitched in anticipation as his mouth moved down her body covering her in open wet kisses. Every touch of his lips sent waves of heat rushing to the surface of her skin.

He paused over her mound watching the expression on her face and she soaked in the look of his half lidded eyes. Eyes that had turned almost onyx with desire and want. Unconsciously she held her breath waiting for his next move.

That breath came out in a rush as his head dipped between her thighs and his tongue stroked her. She lost herself in the sensations of his wet and now warm tongue laved over her sex. As he moved over her outer lips and began to administer much needed attention to her clit she felt the muscles in her stomach tighten. A glorious tingling sensation started in her outer limbs and built as it moved towards her center.

"Spike oh God yes!" The words tumbled from her mouth as wave after wave of pleasure caused her to tremble.

Eventually she started to come back to reality. She blinked heavily lidded eyes at the man staring at her. A smile played on her lips as she watched him fascinated with the way he seemed to be taking pleasure in just looking at her.

She crooked a finger at him gesturing him closer, to finally unite the two of them. Her eyes hungrily gazed at him as he prowled up her body the evidence of his arousal blatant to her sight. She raised her legs to wrap around his waist positioning herself for him.

A low moan echoed through the room as she felt him sink his manhood slowly into her tight sheath. The sensation of him stretching and filling her was overwhelming and she found herself struggling to grab air into her lungs.

It was so right so good. Not that she should have been surprised. It had always been good between them and she had to admit to herself long ago that Spike was an incredible and giving lover. Not that she had a lot of experience for comparison but she was fairly certain that he was a rare find be it vampire or man.

He was moving inside of her slowly pumping in and out in a slow steady rhythm. The pace was excruciating prolonging the pleasure between the two of them. Unable to stand it anymore she contracted the muscles that held him tightly. His gasp in response was like music to her ears and she repeated the move. This time she was rewarded with a long moan. Encouraged she did it once more.

"Oh Buffy luv please...." The speed of his thrusts increased driving him deeper into her core.

One more time she tensed her mucsles and held him tightly. A low growl escaped him as he thrust inside her faster. She could feel the building of another orgasm in the pit of her stomach. A tight winding of sensation coiling through her being begging to be released.

He dropped his head so it nuzzled near her ear and she could hear his labored breathing.

"Now Buffy cum for me love." The sound of his husky voice filled with so much awe and passion reached into her core.

"Spppiiiiikkkkeeee." Her body tensed and shuddered around him. Through the pleasure educed haze on her senses she could feel his release draw near.

His head reared back and a hoarse shout of her name was followed by the sensation of his seed spilling into her. She gladly accepted the reassurance of his weight as he sank on top of her.

Once her breathing had come back from warp speed she ran a hand absentmindedly through his hair. He propped himself onto his elbows and stared into her eyes.

"I love you." The words were said with so much love and affection and conviction that she could feel her heart swelling.

"I love you too."

And then his lips were on hers in a slow languorous kiss.
 

Chapter 17:

She stole a glance at the alarm clock next to the bed and saw that it was already ten o'clock.

"Damn!"

"What's the matter pet?" His voice was muffled against the side of her neck.

"It's late and we have things to do."

"I can think of plenty to do and none of them requires us to get out of this bed." The kiss he placed against her neck both tickled and thrilled her.

"And why doesn't that surprise me?" She sighed. "As much as I would like to find out what you're thinking; check out is at eleven and it's already ten."

"What? You're not staying here?"

"Um a world of no. I was going to ask Angel if he wouldn't mind if I stayed at that old hotel of his." It couldn't have been her imagination that she felt him stiffen when she had said Angel's name.

"No need for that pet got a place not to far away."

"You're not staying with him at Evil inc.?"

The look she got from him simply said that she had lost her mind.

"Kay sorry I asked. So what kind of place is it?"

"An apartment 's not fancy but..." She watched as he shyly ducked his head.

"This apartment of yours it has a bed right?"

"Yeah."

"And when I'm there your going to be there right?"

"Pretty much."

"Then its perfect." She tilted her head at him studying him for just a moment. "If you really want me to stay there."

"If you think I'm letting you out of my sight you've gone round the bend."

She giggled and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

"Now come on. I'm worried that we haven't heard from the others yet."

********

While Spike was in the shower she took the opportunity to give Dawn a call.

"Hey Dawn."

"Buffy did you make it to L.A. okay?"

"Yeah. I just wanted to call and let you know that I was okay."

"And how was Spike?"

It was telling of how their relationship had changed that Dawn was the one person besides Spike she had wanted to tell about her realization of how she felt. And far from being judgmental her sister had welcomed the news knowing that if she was finally happy than she was happy for her. The maturity she had finally found was astounding and she hoped that she had been able to share some of it with the others.

"Oh Dawn he's good he really is."

"See you were right as usual. And did you tell him?" Dawn had been adamant that the first order of business was to tell the missing vamp exactly how she felt.

"Well aren't we pushy? Yes last night. And again this morning. And I plan on telling him again tonight."

The snicker that came over the phone line made her smile.

"So happy?"

"Dawnie I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am."

"So what else is going on?"

"I thought you said you didn't want to know about the Angel sitch."

"And I changed my mind. It's a thing. Do you want to talk about it?" Her sister was really something.

"Not much to tell right now. I just talked to him a little last night going to go talk to him today."

"And how did he take the whole Spike thing?"

"Did you know that even at 240 some odd years you can still act like you just turned twelve?"

"That good huh?" Buffy heard the sound of the shower being turned off.

"You don't even want to know. Look I gotta go. I'll call you a little later okay?"

"You better and tell Spike I expect to talk to him too."

"I will. Bye."

"Later."

********

One quick shower later she walked with Spike into the elevator of Wolfram and Hart. It didn't matter that it was daylight outside or that there had been no direct threat to her since stepping her first foot into the building. The place was still way too creepy for her taste.

She had no plan of action of course because for once this wasn't a direct fight. It wasn't a foe that she knew she could plan against and anticipate their actions. No now she had only her words to use to convince friends into the right course of action. Some of them more stubborn then others.

So now she stood in the lobby outside of Angel's office wondering what she should say. Part of her thought about just going in there and punching him in the nose to see if it would knock some sense into him. But the other part of her knew that it would just make him get all defensive and huffy and possibly brood more. And she definitely couldn't deal with that.

"He's not in yet." The reprieve from facing Angel came in the form of a little voice from behind the desk.

"Harmony you don't have to hide." She was amazed that she could get her voice to sound so patient. Guess dealing with Andrew had some good points after all.

Buffy watched partly amused as the top of her blond head started to poke over the desk. When she didn't move further she was surprised that she actually chuckled.

"Really I'm not going to hurt you."

"But you're the Slayer."

"Kind of know that. C'mon I'm serious you don't do anything to me and I'll leave you alone."

"Um okay well... You want me to call him?" She gestured towards the office.

"No that's okay. We'll come back later."

She took Spike's hand and began to walk away.

*********

Spike led her down the hall towards the lab where he knew Fred was working. They stopped near the glass doors observing as she talked to a man in a white lab coat and studied a giant stone box. At least that's what it looked like it was to Buffy.

Clearing her throat as she walked in Buffy smiled as Fred glanced over to her.

"Hey Fred I was wondering if I could talk to you for just a minute?"

"Sure." A bright smile on her face. When she got closer her voice dropped. "Is everything okay?"

"Oh yeah. Everything's fine why do you ask?"

"Well after last night and then I hadn't heard from Wesley today and I'm kinda worried."

Buffy caught something in the other woman's eyes as she had talked about the former watcher.

"Nothin' to worry about pet."

"We sent him home to get some sleep."

With the look of relief that flooded Fred's eyes Buffy was certain about her instinct.

She nodded. "So what do you want to talk about?"

While she talked Buffy watched a young woman with dark brown hair and also in a lab coat, as she walked into the room and began to chat with the man. After a few words the man left and the woman began to study the object more carefully.

"I was just wondering if you had thought about what we discussed last night?"

The lab coated woman reached out her hand curiously to a purple gem on the thing and Buffy watched, as a gust of air seemed to blow in her face disturbing her hair.

Hearing the sound of ragged coughing Fred turned her attention to the woman. The man from earlier also returned.

"Laura are you okay?"

"Yeah just." cough, "I must of disturbed a pocket of air or something."

"Knox let's get Laura to medical and get her checked just in case."

"Sure Fred." Buffy watched as the two of them left and took a glance at Spike. He looked as confused as she felt.

"Well that was sure odd." Fred's brow was furrowed in thought.

Buffy let out a long sigh. "Why do I have a bad feeling about this?"

*********

They had watched as Fred in full Haz Mat gear fully inspected what they had told Buffy was a sarcophagus. An obviously old and ornate one. After watching the poking and prodding for about a half hour she was bored.

"Maybe we should go check on Laura." She knew that the plea to get out of the lab was plain in her eyes.

He raised an eyebrow at her.

"If you want pet. Medical's just down the hall." She could tell that he was just as bored as she had been but wasn't going to let her know that.

They walked into the Medical area in time to see that the place was totally empty. There was no sign of Laura or the doctors who worked there.

Shrugging their shoulders to each other they turned and left the room headed for the lobby area. Maybe they could find Angel or Gunn now and talk to them.

Turning around a corner they almost ran into Laura literally.

"Hey Laura how are you?"

"Clean bill of health. They just let me out of there."

"Better safe then sorry I guess."

The young woman nodded.

"You're new here aren't you pet? Don't remember seeing you much."

"I just started here two weeks ago. Ms. Burkle, I mean Fred hired me herself."

"Well I'm glad you're alright. I'm Buffy by the way and this is Spike."

"It's good to meet you." She shook Buffy's hand. "Thank you."

"For what?" She thought about the conversation they were having but couldn't reconcile the words.

"For being so nice. I mean I don't even know you but... well thank you."

Buffy gave her a warm smile.

"In that case you're welcome. Did you want to head back to the lab with the others?"

"Actually that was where I was headed. Will I be seeing you later?"

"A definite possibility."

She watched as Laura opened her mouth to speak when her eyes suddenly rolled up into the back of her head and she began to sink to the floor. Reacting quickly Spike reached out and grabbed her settling her down gently as her body began to convulse.

"We need some help over here!" Buffy yelled.
 

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