Chapter 24:

The faint click of the door behind found her body sagging in relief. She took a moment to look over the room taking in the sparsely furnished apartment. It seemed cold and empty to her like no one had really lived in it. There wasn't anything to make the place personal. She had seen motel rooms with more personality.

But none of that really mattered, not right now. Right now she just wanted to sleep, preferably for a week if not two.

She watched him drop her bag on the sofa in the living room before turning to look at her. He seemed like he wanted to say something, had looked like that the whole time they were in the car on the way over, but he had held his tongue. The thought unnerved her a bit because he wasn't one to hold back, if something needed saying he was the first one to find his voice, the first one to face the truth as ugly and as brutal as it could be. Whatever it was that was causing this hesitation must be something either he was afraid to say to her or be an ugly truth she was happy to be without right now, and in a way she was relieved for it.

His eyes turned away from her and walked towards the back of the room. She followed silently hoping that now she would be delivered to a bed and a blessed oblivion at least for a few hours.

As if her prayers had been answered the door opened to reveal a messy double bed covers strewn every which way. She followed him in taking in the fact that other then the bed and a small night stand with a cheap looking alarm clock there was nothing at all in the room. Well that wasn't exactly true there was a folding chair in the corner that had a folded laundry on it and a pile of apparently dirty Spike apparel near the door.

She was dragging her feet now as she crossed the room towards his bed. Glancing back at him she gave a tentative smile not sure if she was actually smiling or grimacing through her tiredness. Obviously she had been closer to a grimace if the look of concern that was now on his face was any indication. She shook her head willing him to understand that she was fine if not a bit too tired for words.

But he had never worked that way not really. Unspoken communication for him wasn't nearly as good as the real thing or so she assumed. He had always made her voice what she was feeling or thinking.

She watched as that scarred eyebrow raised in her direction the question glinting in his eyes before she even heard it pass his lips.

"What aren't you telling me pet?"

"Huh?" Her mind was a little fuzzy yes but the question seemed like it had come out of left field.

"Your dream. There's something you're not tellin' us. Not tellin' me." His tone was concerned yes but not accusing and she could see a bit of hurt in his eyes at the thought that she wasn't being open with him.

It wasn't that she didn't want to be. Well not entirely true, she did want to tell him what was going on but she was so afraid of the reaction it would generate that she found herself unable to find the words to tell him about where she thought all of this was heading to. So she stood silent a few more minutes unable to meet his eyes knowing that a single look and he could see every answer she held on to so tightly.

Eyes down cast as they were she missed the motion of him crossing the room to her his hand reaching out and grabbing her chin firmly but not harshly, lifting her head so that he could look in her eyes. She looked on wordlessly as they flicked over her face his blue searching her hazel.

Buffy couldn't look at him and not speak. It was something she had realized almost too late in their relationship. That gaze leveled on her, the only one that truly saw her as she was, forced her into sharing everything with him. But she was unsure if she really could share this.

"Spike I-" Her voice locked itself inside of her throat the words fleeing her mind. She took a ragged breath pushing to make a sentence that would make sense.

"Can't we talk about this later? I just want to get some sleep." She put as much whine into it as she could.

The look on his face was telling her in no uncertain terms that he wasn't buying it. There would have been a time when she wouldn't have cared if he bought her excuses or not but that time was long past now. The hurt she had seen cross his face was back again and it was like a sharp pain in her gut. She let out a deep sigh. There wasn't anyway she couldn't tell him not when he hurt like this.

The phone ringing in the other room startled both of them and she sent a little thank you heaven word for the distraction. She almost let out a little chuckle as his hand dropped and he walked out of the room, she literally was saved by the bell.
Her relief was short lived however at the words he called out over his shoulder.

"We're not done." Oh those words held so much promise of a talk she didn't want to have.

Reluctantly she went back into the main room heading towards her bag. Maybe she would have enough time to at least change her clothes before the respite from the phone call was over. At least she would be dressed comfortably. She took the shorts and t-shirt into the bedroom and quickly changed. That done she went back and sat quietly on the couch and listened to him finish his phone call.

"Yeah. No here is better. Four o'clock then."

He hung the phone up without so much as a bye and she knew that Angel had been on the other end of the phone.

"Were meeting here at four?" Of course that was what she had heard but the question was all she could think of as a delaying tactic.

He was not amused. She didn't blame him of course but she felt helpless in her situation.

"Yes." He let out the single answer before he took a place next to her on the couch his gaze settling on her.

She fidgeted uncomfortably under that piercing look.

"It's nothing."

"Really nothing made your heart go all skittish in Percy's office?"

Damn she was hoping that he hadn't noticed that. Sure it was a foolish hope considering how attuned he was to everything she did, but it was a hope nonetheless.

"Okay so not nothing exactly. It's not a big deal. I just got a little wigged about finding out about the room is all.”? That was the truth and she was glad because she was so not into the lying to him anymore.

"Buffy-" His impatience was plain.

"Really Spike it's just been a long couple of days. Of which I haven't gotten any sleep in. I'm just all over reacty right now." Again with the truth mostly.

She watched his eyes narrow at her and she fought the urge to flinch. He wasn't convinced she knew but her bringing up her lack of sleep was causing him to war within himself between fishing out the truth and letting her get the rest she needed. She could see it in his eyes the thoughts chasing themselves around in his mind and she felt the first pangs of guilt at the way she took advantage of his concern.

Choosing to ignore that very large twinge of her conscience for now she took his hand in hers.

"C'mon let's get some sleep 'kay?" She rubbed her thumb over the top of his hand in a soft caress.

His eyes softened and she understood that his concern had won out over his need to know. He was going to let it go, for now.

He stood and pulled her to her feet unwilling it seems to let her hand go. She was more than okay with that.

They padded silently back into the bedroom and stopped just at the foot of the bed. She let go of his hand and bent toward the sheets to straighten them a bit when his hand on her shoulder made her stop. Her questioning gaze returned to his face unsure.

The guilt returned full force as she took in the pain he tried to hide in his beautiful eyes. It was so sharp and distinct that she had to keep herself from gasping out loud from it. How could she cause this? What was wrong with her that she would entertain the thought of hiding this from him? She didn't know and the way it was tearing into him left her thinking that maybe she hadn't really gotten the rest of her soul back. Maybe she was the only pure evil being in this relationship.

It was just too much to bear as she looked into his eyes, so she did the only thing she could. She turned her eyes away.

The grip on her shoulder tightened and she had to fight to keep from looking at him. The knowledge of his pain was causing her own to course through her at an exponential rate. She stiffened as she felt his other hand close around her other shoulder and he turned her toward him. The urge to just flee entered her and she tamped it down. She had finished running a while ago and now she really had nowhere else to go.

She felt the hardness of his fingers as they bit into the flesh of her shoulders and finally resolved herself to the situation in front of her. Everything that she was screamed at her to get it over with to just tell him. But how do you tell the man you love, who loves you in return, that you know you're going to die? And not just that but die a gruesome horrible bloody death right in front of him?

Raising her head she forced herself to look into his eyes letting him see everything she was feeling. The pain, the love, the worry, and the guilt all of it evident for him to read. The worry that looked back at her kept her from speaking for a moment too overcome by the depth of feeling between them to let the words intrude.

Looking deep inside her being she found her resolve and pushed it forward. She put her hands on his waist and maneuvered him to sit on the bed. His hands letting her go as he sat on the mattress. Standing Buffy took a step back forcing her brain to function to let out the words she hated.

"So it's something alright? Fine. I just didn't want to have to tell you is all. I just keep hoping that it's just a dream just something my subconscious rigged up to freak me out. Like a normal person." She let out a bitter laugh. "Guess I should really know better by now huh?"

His head was cocked in that way of his a slight crease in his forehead as he tried to see the sense in her words.

"Pet-" The endearment had always touched her in a way. Years ago it gave her the large sense of annoyance that his presence could only bring but along the way it had changed and she had come to treasure the name. It was something she loved to hear and he could make it sound as soft as a caress or as rough as a slap. Right now it was somewhere between the two in his confusion and hurt.

"I've told you most of it. The room, the dagger, big evil red guy fighting me with four arms. I mean how fair is that he's got four arms and I'm stuck with just two. He could at least not have a weapon but no he's got to have two." She mentally slapped herself out of her tangent. "So I fight this guy but were pretty evenly matched and nothing much happens for awhile."

"And then?" Oh god he was just so damned impatient.

"And then I notice that someone else is in the room with me. Even though I ignore it something happens and Mr. Red and Ugly gets the advantage." God she couldn't tell him who she senses in the dream could she? That he might think he was the fatal distraction. No definitely not. That little tidbit was not passing through her lips. He would have to pry it out of her with a crowbar and he didn't look like he had one handy.

"What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?"

She ran a hand through her hair wondering if there was an easy way for her to put into words what she'd seen.

"Um he-" Nope still a blank on the soft and gentle way. "The sword-"

"What about his sword?" The push was too much and she blurted.

"He takes the damn thing and puts it in my stomach." Crap, way with the subtle.

"WHAT?"

The shout made her jump a bit but she held her ground. She placed her hand on his shoulder hoping her touch would calm him just a bit.

She sighed. "Do you really want me to repeat that?"

Her hand gave his shoulder a quick squeeze.

"I don't get to slay the bad guy this time. Looks like instead of being the slayer I'm the slayee." She tried to give him a wry smile but she doubted that it worked.

Instantly she found that she was pulled onto his lap his arms encircling her tightly.

"Don't talk like that." His voice was muffled against her hair.

"Spike it's happened every time I've had the dream and trust me I've had it enough times to know. The fact is I end up with a really nasty gash bleeding all over the place." She pulled her head away and looked in his eyes. The sudden urge to touch him was too much even if she was sitting in his lap and she placed a hand on his cheek. "Do you want to hear the rest?"

The look in his eyes told her that he didn't but she had let him know this much and he needed to know the rest. The slow slight nod that he gave her reaffirmed his hesitancy.

"I'm laying on the floor of the cavern hands clutching my-" She broke off when her voice hitched. "My stomach. And you finally kneel beside me telling me to hold on. But you see I already know that I'm dying." She whispered the word unwilling to give it more substance if only that would keep it at bay. "I touch your cheek and tell you that I'm sorry and I am just so damned sorry that I can't stay with you. And then I tell you I love you because I do so much. I look right into your eyes and they're just filled with so much pain and it hurts cause I know that it's my fault that you're feeling it. And I take a breath and as I let it out I feel myself let go." She could feel the tears streaming her face now and she wondered when she had begun to cry. Buffy had trouble making out his face through the cloudiness they caused. "That's when I wake up."

She blinked hard trying to clear her vision just to see him. The feel of his rough fingers brushing at the tears on her cheeks made the urge that much more important.

Successful at last she took in the shock on his face, the horror that her words might be true still etched on his features.

" 's not going to happen, luv. Not as long as I'm around." Buffy wished she could crawl to the land of denial he had found but it was denied her this time.

"Spike-" His arms tightened even more.

"Not going to happen." He bit out the words forcefully as if just saying them would make them true.

Her heart ached with the knowledge of the pain he was feeling and the pain yet to come. It was almost physical and she wished just once more that she was wrong. Even if her inner voice knew differently.

She did the only thing she could think of and brushed her lips against his.

The movement seemed to open something inside of him because he returned the kiss in a brutal fashion full of pain and desperation. She responded in kind trying to deny the fear and pain that she was feeling. They clung to each other barely letting air flow in between them as if it would create a giant crater if they let it. His embrace was so tight it was almost squeezing all of the air out of her lungs and she knew there would be a lovely set of bruises there tomorrow. But it didn't matter. None of it did.

She felt the burning in her chest as her body cried out for the oxygen it still depended on but she tried to ignore it. The feeling of his lips on hers was all she concentrated on. But soon even a Slayer has to give in to the need to breathe and she had to pull away. Her breath came in giant shaking gasps the emotions running through her making her throat feel raw. The noise of their breathing seemed to echo through the room.

Buffy let her eyes close and leaned her head against his chest. She took the comfort she had found in his embrace gladly and hoped he could find some in return from her.

They sat for long moments neither speaking just holding each other as tight as possible not wanting to let the other go. She wondered if when the time came he would be able to look back at this particular moment in time and find some peace. She hoped so.

"Spike?" She barely breathed his name but knew he could hear her anyway.

"Yes luv."

"As good as this is I really would like to lay down now." She could feel the exhaustion settling into her bones and was curious as how she had managed to stay awake this long. The tug of sleep was becoming something too strong for her to resist though and she found herself in the middle of a giant yawn halfway through her question.

He shifted her body wordlessly so that she was lying on the bed using her feet she scooted her way up so that she could rest her head on one of the pillows. As she did this she could hear that he was undressing tossing first his shirt and then his jeans to the floor. She reached down and brought a sheet over her body and smoothed it out. Lifting a corner he climbed in with her. He was on his side facing her as she reclined in the same position mirroring him. His arm went around her waist and her hand settled against his chest.

She stared at her hand for a moment just noticing how the tan of her skin seemed to only be enhanced by the alabaster of his. Her mind wandered and her eyelids began to feel so heavy she thought it would take steel beams to pry them open. But a thought echoed through her mind and she fought sleep for a few more minutes.

"I'm so sorry Spike."

"Nothin' to be sorry 'bout luv. Go to sleep." She could feel his words rumble through his chest and into her hand.

"Yes there is. It seems like no matter what I do I end up hurting you." She sighed her eyelids slipping shut. "Don't want to hurt you anymore. Love you."

"I know. I love you Buffy. I promise nothing is going to hurt you."

"Don't promise that. Slayer remember short life expectancy." She struggled to open her eyes and look into his. "Promise me this instead. If something does happen promise me you won't do anything stupid."

"Define stupid pet."

She thought about how to word her feelings. Dawn had told her the extremes his grief had taken him the last time she had died and she feared that this time when he knew how she felt about him it would be ten times worse.

"Like the last time. Just promise me you won't do it." Her eyes remained locked on his watching as the feelings and memories pass through him.

"Can't promise that pet. Alcohol does strange things to a bloke." He was being flippant but she understood.

"Spike I know you'll keep your promise you always do. Please."

"Buffy, pet the first time I lost you it bloody near killed me. I think this time it damn well would." He let out a ragged sigh. "Don't think I could live in a world without you in it."

"Yes you could, you're the strongest man I've ever known. Give me this one last thing please." She could feel the hot pricking of tears behind her eyes again and she willed them away she was just so damned tired of crying.

He didn't say anything his gaze had become distant and soft, like he was looking at something just beyond her shoulder. But she knew better he was remembering.

"Spike?" She called his name softly bringing him back to her in the here and now even if it was too painful for either of them to face. Buffy saw the shimmer of unshed tears in his blue eyes and she wished with everything she had that the future she had seen was a lie.

"Soddin' hell Buffy. Not a damn thing in this world I would deny you and you know it. I promise." How was it possible for words said with such feeling and conviction be so quiet at the same time?

She pushed herself forward so that they were millimeters apart.

"I love you." Closing the distance between them she slid her lips over his.

Where before their kiss was hurried with frenzied need now they were slow and savoring. Enjoying the feeling of each others taste as it tickled their senses. It was a gentle motion of two tongues brushing almost teasingly against each other and so achingly sweet. Instead of the flash fire that usually flared they were encompassed by a liquefied warmth that seemed to relax the muscles.

Their arousal was almost a side effect of the feelings they were expressing as hands slowly moved over flesh. Two pair that floated up and down the skin of the other. Brushes with fingertips, strokes that came from whispering palms, all sending them to a plateau only they could see.

Kisses were broken and renewed so fluidly that one couldn't tell where they ended or began. Each movement flowed between them met with soft gasps and sighs. She barely felt her clothes being brushed aside by his gentle hands until they were lying skin meeting skin. Her hands lingered over the hardness of his flesh just as his paused on the softness of hers. His hand drew her leg over his hip and he angled his legs in between hers. Inch by inch he entered her the movement almost nonexistent.

The languorous thrust of his hips rocked them with a subtle motion that reminded Buffy of being on the ocean. Like they were riding along every smooth wave sinking him deeper within her. Her climax spread through her slowly washing over her again and again her inner walls rhythmically milking him. And soon he was shuddering inside of her his cool seed spilling into her core as his whispered words of love lulled her into sleep.

Chapter 25:

Buffy had to fight to hold in the sigh she felt in her chest at the need to get out of her too comfy position. She would have preferred to stay right where she was with her large vampire shaped body pillow but the call of nature was being overly insistent and she carefully managed to disentangle her limbs with that of his. Holding her breath as she slowly slid away from him she let it go when her feet finally touched the carpet. A quick glance behind her was enough to reassure the feeling that he was still sound asleep.

As much as she knew he would deny it she was certain that Spike had been just as exhausted as she had been. She was more then willing to give him a little more time to sleep.

Stepping back out of the bathroom she stole a glance at the clock by his bedside and noticed that it wasn't even noon yet. Only a few quick hours of sleep and she was up already. It wasn't like she should have been surprised she had been like this since she had been called as the slayer only getting three or four hours of sleep a night before going to school, or work or wherever. Sometimes she was a little jealous of the vampires she had to slay after all they got to have a full eight hours of sleep if they wanted after dodging her all night. Didn't seem altogether fair that she wouldn't be allowed the same.

Pushing the asinine thoughts out of her mind she stepped back into her shorts and pulled on her shirt. Quietly she made her way back into the front room and sat on the couch. She thought about turning the TV on for a moment but dismissed the idea given that at this time of day there wouldn't be anything on worth watching.

Carefully keeping her wandering mind from her more troubled thoughts she just let the quiet in the apartment settle into her. There had been so little time to herself lately and for once it was good to be able just to sit and not really think. Of course it would have been better to know they weren't just about to fight a big apocalypsy type event without even a small clue as to what was going on.

The first pound on the door made her jump to her feet startled. The second sent her quickly stepping to the door. Right after the loud forceful bang that shook the door in its frame she flung the door open.

Her eyes met with a very angry Angel.

His abrupt push past her caused a frown at appear and her brow to furrow. What the hell had gotten into him know? She was sure it was something serious because for the first time she noticed he wasn't brooding he was seething. The look on the dark man's face spoke of a murderous rage she had never seen not even when he had been Angelus.

There was no time for her to react no time for her to question just what he was thinking or what possibly could have happened when he began his rant. His pace slowed as he turned to face her his eyes burning with something close to hate and she felt a small shiver trail down her spine. She knew it wasn't directed at her but the cold burning fury she saw there was scary if directed anywhere.

"Where the fuck is Spike?" He was loud whether by design or not Buffy couldn't tell but she flinched in response.

"Well he was bloody sleepin' till you walked in here like a jack ass Peaches." Said vampire was now leaning in the doorway of his bedroom giving Angel what looked on the surface to be a death glare. But underneath Buffy was sure she could see the light of curiosity and maybe the barest flicker of concern.

His voice made her recall the use of hers and she looked between the two of them for a moment before speaking.

"Angel what's going on?"

"Get dressed." Her gaze met with that of Spike's at the commanding tone Angel had used. Normally such a tone would get him no end of derision from the both of them. After all this was Spike and her like they were good at following orders.

"Answer the damn question, Poof. What's got your knickers in such a twist?" He had stepped into the room his stride bringing him right next to the other man.

"I don't have time for this. We've got to move now."

"Angel?" She softened her voice hoping that he would calm and be a little more reasonable.

"They have him alright? They fucking took him out of his own house and now he's god knows where. So could you please get your asses moving so I can find him?" He was still yelling and Buffy had the distinct impression that the word please was only tossed in her direction.

"Could you clear that up a little mate? Who have they got and who are they?" Spike's head was cocked quizzically at Angel but there was no smirk on his face.

But Buffy was finding that she didn't need this spelled out for her for once. It was really pretty simple.

"They took Connor." She placed a hand on his arm the gesture sympathetic in nature and she was glad that this time she got no possessive vibe from Spike. There was just so much she could deal with right now and jealous vampire crap was way down at the bottom of the list.

His slow nod the only conformation she needed she headed back to the bedroom to change her clothes.

"Who the bleedin' hell is Connor?" She could hear the confusion and the tint of annoyance in his voice. Turning back to look at him she took stock of his defensive stance and Angel's closed off face.

"Angel I'm going to go get dressed maybe it would be better if you told Spike what was going on."

"Buffy-"

"I'm not trying to tell you I told you so Angel but he needs to know what's going on. Give me a minute and I'll be right out."

She stepped into the bedroom and hastily found something to wear and threw it on. Roughly pulling a brush through her hair she tied it back into a ponytail and went into the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth. Those mundane chores completed she walked back into the living room.

"How is that even possible?" The incredulity in Spike's voice lead her to believe he was having a hard time with the whole vampires having children thing. Well she couldn't blame him for that one herself she still didn't really get it but the fact was there was a child albeit an eighteen-year-old one that was raised in a hell dimension.

Angel ran a hand through his brown hair causing it to spike in an odd angle.

"There was some prophecy involved and he just is okay?"

"When did they take him?" Buffy asked as she sat back on the sofa while she watched the two vamps continue to stand. She assumed that Angel was just to aggravated to sit and Spike well he was Spike after all.

"This morning about dawn. They yanked him right out of his own bed and killed the people that he thought were his parents."

"Any idea where they would have taken him?"

The look of devastation on his face was clear and she resisted the urge to run over to him and give him a supportive hug.

"No."

"Well maybe you should call the others and get them over here. Gunn included maybe he knows someplace that they keep hostages for negotiations or something."

"There isn't time Buffy."

"Angel we don't even have a clue of where to look for him. Make the calls."

"Why bother no one is going to believe any of this. Not without some kind of proof." He stepped towards the door his hand reaching for the knob.

"Angel where are you going?"

"To get some answers." As the door opened she let out a small gasp to see Hamilton standing on the other side of it.

The surprise must not have been quite as bad for Angel considering he had grabbed the man by the throat before she could blink. He was dragged into the apartment and there was a dull thud as his body made contact with the wall. A low growl came from Angel's throat and Buffy felt a momentary chill as the other man wore a cold smile.

"Angel lovely to see you again." The polished words were a bit strained with the lack of oxygen but the absence of fear was plain.

Spike had moved to come up along side Angel staring into Marcus's dark eyes.

"Strange coincidence the suit showing up here and all. Got something you want to share?"

The smile never left his face and he didn't answer. A look passed between the men and Angel's grip tightened even more.

Hamilton looked like he was struggling to say something and the grip on his throat loosened enough for him to pull some air into his lungs and make his vocal cords work.

"Everyone ever tell you not to kill the messenger?" His voice still held that false cheer that creeped her out.

"If you don't have anything to say...." Angel's words were low and dangerous. He began to squeeze his fingers into the man's neck again.

Easily and before the rest of them had a chance to react Hamilton knocked Angel back across the room. He seemed to take in their startled looks before straightening his suit and tie.

"Now let's have a civilized discussion about this. We obviously have something you want and we want you to do something for us."

Buffy was the first to react and she walked closer to the man. His gaze traveled over her appreciatively and this time she didn't bother to hide the revulsion on her face.

"Where is he?"

"Uh uh." He tisked at her. "Let's not be hasty here. Maybe we should all get to know more about each other first."

"Over my dead body." Spike growled at the man. "Best you keep your eyes to yourself mate."

A small chuckle left the suited man's lips. "You really think I'm bothered by your posturing? The truth is I could kill everyone in this room and not blink an eye. But I am a business man and we have business to conduct."

Buffy watched as Spike's body seemed to coil as if he was a snake ready to strike. She put a hand on his shoulders to stop whatever impulse he was about to follow and turned to face the other man.

"So talk already." She could sense Angel come stand behind the two of them again.

"Of course." He looked seriously at Angel. "The Senior Partners are a little concerned that you're not living up to your end of the bargain. Let's say that they wanted a little insurance in that regard."

"If they've done anything to him-"

"He's perfectly safe I assure you. As long as you keep doing your job of course."

"I don't know what you're talking about." He denied.

"You know you are an exceptionally bad liar. I wonder if that's just the soul? No matter. Who do you think you work for Angel? We have the most powerful seers and psychics in this and every other dimension working for us. Didn't you think we would know when your thinking changed?" He glanced back over to Buffy. "A pity really we had such high hopes for you."

She felt her body tense at his words and she kind of wished she could just pummel the guys face in. The only thing keeping her back was the thought that this guy knew exactly what had happened to Angel's son and she was determined to help him get the boy back.

"What do they want?"

"Just the same thing they wanted when Angel came to Wolfram & Hart. He's to go back and run the place just like he was doing before you showed up on his doorstep." His leer was back and she thought that if she had eaten anything in the last few hours she would be tossing it on to the floor right about now.

"That's it?" She knew the disbelief she was feeling was quite clear in her words.

"For Angel yes. For you that's a different matter all together." He stepped closer to her ignoring the bleached vampire at her side. "We know holding Connor is enough to hold him in check but you're kind of a loose end. Something that needs tying up."

She was used to innuendo of course knowing Spike as long as she had would certainly be enough of a lesson on the topic even for the most naive of people. This seemed different though somehow. It wasn't something he was using just to get a rise out of her as Spike had in the past and it wasn't the bantering that they had shared in the past both in harm and in fun. No this innuendo was far worse and she was sure that he fully intended to live out the ugly picture that was dancing in his head. A thought she was in no way happy to have.

"Is there a point to all of this or are you getting off on hearing your own voice? Cause to tell you the truth I'm getting a little bored over here." She channeled her disgust with him into her words. Sneaking a glance at Spike she was amused to see the smirk cross his lips at her words.

"Oh there is a point as I'm sure you know. The Senior Partners would like a meeting with you."

"A meeting? You've got to be kidding."

"No I'm very serious. You realize that they don't request meetings with mortals very often don't you? It's really an honor."

"And you want her to walk into the lion's den?" She wondered if Spike's eyebrow got any higher would it disappear into his hairline.

"Somehow I'm thinking this isn't a good thing."

"Think whatever you want. This is the only way to ensure the young man's safety. It really is no concern either way to them."

She wished she had the power to damn this man. Well more then he already probably was considering his alliances but the fact remained they had them over a barrel and she only had one choice. Damn her sense of right and wrong.

"Fine. Do what you have to set up make a schedule whatever. Just as long as you leave right now." Taking a threatening step closer to him she settled her hands on her hips.

"Very well. Good to see you as always Buffy. Perhaps it will be under better circumstances the next time."

"Somehow I doubt that Marcus." She said his name with as much disdain, as she was capable of.

But he was already out the door and she was forced to close it behind him.

"Stupid. How could I have been so stupid?" She muttered to herself. Well it would have been except for the exceptional hearing of her two companions.

"Just what are you thinking luv?"

"Please Spike don't take that tone with me. Did you see another choice? Cause if you did I so want to hear it." She gave her eyes a roll for good measure.

"How could you agree to meet with them? You know they don't even exist in this dimension?" Angel shook his head.

She flinched at that.

"Okay so I didn't think of that. Still not seeing the other choices here." She walked back towards the little kitchen area without looking back. "You have a better plan then spill."

She searched in the cupboards and found a glass. Turning to the sink she twisted the tap and filled it.

"Buffy you can't just go to a meeting with the Senior Partners." Angel was in such a sad state of denial and she wondered how many hours he was going to waste on Wolfram & Hart's payroll sitting in his office and brooding.

"Gee thanks for that bit of info. And that is also not helping." She took a long sip of the water glad to have the cool liquid soothe her throat.

"I'm just stating the facts you go in there and they're going to kill you."

She slammed the glass on the counter water spilling out of it in all directions.

"News flash Angel if they wanted any of us dead I'm sure we'd be that way by now. I don't think this is their only option." Taking a deep breath she tried to curb the frustration she was feeling.

Her glance finally settled on Spike and suddenly he seemed awfully pale to her. She wondered why that would be and thought about the conversation they were currently having. Her eyes widened when the thought ran through her head like a giant banner. The guy just learned she had a prophetic dream about her own death and here they were talking about her dying. When had she become so dumb any way?

She walked to him quickly and wrapped an arm around his waist as she faced Angel. Hoping that silent reassurance would be enough until she could deal with the other vamp in her life.

"That doesn't-"

"Just drop it Angel okay?" She let out a deep sigh. "You better go to the office before they start thinking you're not holding up you're end of the deal. Spike and I will think of something. I hope."

"No worries luv. Nasties won't get a chance at you." Wrapping her arm a little tighter around him she was grateful that he was here.

"Right. So you want me to go back and act like nothing is wrong?"

"No I want you to go and let them see you there. No one said you had to be happy about it."

"Fine I'll go but I want to know the second you hear from Hamilton. Or if you think of a plan."

Buffy didn't like the tone he used but she let it go. They had enough problems without fighting amongst themselves. She gave him a nod and kept her eyes on him as he walked through the door.

Once the door shut behind Angel she dropped her arm and faced Spike.

"Don't even say it." She warned him quietly.

"What that I think your makin' a bloody fucked up mistake?" The sarcasm in his voice was biting.

"Then you tell me what the hell I was supposed to do. I didn't hear you coming up with any bright ideas." She had started to increase in volume but she couldn't control it.

"I don't know but I sure as hell wouldn't have volunteered to a face to face with the bastards."

"God were either of you even in the same room with me? I don't recall volunteering being an option. Besides this isn't about me it's about saving Angel's son. I don't have the time for this so let it go."

"You don't have the time?" His tone was dripping with incredulity. "That's positively rich pet. Seems to me you haven't the time for much now days." He took a step towards her practically blocking out everything in her vision with his proximity. "This the part where you tell me it was a barrel of laughs but you really got to run? Think we're back to that old standard. Well got news for you luv, this vamp ain't playin' that game." His breath came out heavy almost in a pant as his eyes bore the hurt she had witnessed on too many occasions. But she was damned if she was willing to shoulder the burden of that this time.

She spun away from him taking a few steps to give her some room and a moment to collect her thoughts. Taking a steadying breath she faced him once more.

"You think that's all this is? A sick game? Do you think so little of me that I would ever go back to the way I was then?" Searching his eyes she found that for once she couldn't find her answers to him there. "Maybe you do. Hell maybe I deserve it. But this whole mess isn't about that is it? You want to make it my fault? Fine by me. Won't be the first time. But don't you dare accuse me of shutting you out when you're doing it to me." She crossed her arms over her chest trying to keep it from heaving in her anger. Turning her back to him she continued to keep her arms wrapped around her body.

Fuck for once couldn't she catch a break from all of the emotional turmoil? Did her life have to resemble an episode of Passions all the time?

She was unsure of how long they stood that way. Each of them silent left to whatever horrible thoughts wanted to filter through their troubled minds. Time itself seemed to stretch out and finally Buffy was able to get her mind on track. If she was lucky there would be a time and place for this thing she and Spike had going on. But now was definitely not it. Too much was riding on her shoulders and she needed to focus.

Her head tilted down in concentration and for the first time since she had gotten dressed she actually noticed what she was wearing. A cream v-necked tank and faded blue jeans. Nothing out of the ordinary in her wardrobe except for one glaring fact.

This was what she had been wearing in her dream.

It took her a moment and a few blinks of her eyes before she could really focus on the fact. When she did she tried to tell herself that it was only a coincidence that it meant nothing in the grand scheme of things. But that stupid little rational voice in her head berated her and whispered that there was no such thing as coincidences and she should know better after living so many years on a Hellmouth.

The thought had her spinning wildly out of control in just a few seconds. Was this the day? Was today really the day she was going to die again?

"Spike?" His name came out a bit breathy not at all like the strong slayer she had been a few moments before.

"Yeah?" He however was gruff his anger and hurt apparently not dampened by the time he had been silent.

"A plan would be so of the good right now." She turned back to face him her eyes shining with tears she would not allow to fall.

His reaction was swift as she knew it would be once he assessed the stricken look on her face, the tears hiding in her eyes, and the race of her heart. He was by her side in an instant arms wrapping themselves around her drawing her close to his body.

Here in the comfort of his embrace she let the world drop away once more even if it was for just a fleeting moment.

Chapter 26:

Time was such an evil thing. Sometimes it would pass slowly, drawing itself out making every second feel like a millennia. So slow that your whole being screamed at the grasp it had over you driving you mad with the waiting for the ticking of a clock. At other times it was swift denying you the pleasure of holding on to a specific moment holding it close to you so the memory of it burned into your very being. Passed so quickly that if you blinked your eyes it would be gone forever out of your grasp slipping through your fingers like sand.

The millisecond she was allowed in is comforting embrace was one of those examples that showed just how evil time really was. A breath maybe two held in his embrace and the moment was shattered reality running in to confront them with the passing of her fleeting peace.

The anger and frustration she had felt was gone the instant she realized how close she was to the end and she wasn't going to send her mind into a state of denial about it. Her dream had been proven to be eerily accurate with everything they had found. So no she wasn't about to believe there was still another hope out there. But she was also convinced that she shouldn't be waiting around for fate to step in and punch her time card so to speak. It wasn't really in her nature to sit back and wait for them to come to her. No she was the aggressor always had been and it wouldn't be any different now.

"Spike." Her voice was stronger maybe from her resolve or at least she hoped so. It wouldn't do if it were from acceptance of a fate her mind had foreseen.

He didn't answer but buried his nose in her hair breathing in deeply. She fought with her body's urge to burrow further in his embrace.

Her head tilted away from him and she stole a glance into his blue eyes.

"I'm going to call Fred and Wes see if they know something that might help."

"Buffy? What is it pet?"

"I think we've run out of time." It was the only answer she saw fit to give. And boy was it ever the truth.

************

She fidgeted in her seat as their car made its way down a crowded freeway headed to Wolfram & Hart once again. Buffy was uncomfortable about meeting once more in Angel's office but saw little choice in the matter. They were grasping at answers that weren't there desperate to find anything to help.

There had been few words spoken by either of them as they left his apartment and she was unsure what Spike was actually thinking. She was sure that he really hadn't been angry with her per se but at the situation they found themselves in. It was totally something she got. But she didn't know what to say that would at least reassure him a little not when she couldn't find the words to comfort herself.

Fred or Wes had asked few questions like they understood what was going on even without all of the facts. In a way it was good she didn't know if she could handle the emotional toll expressing her dream and its consequences would take on her. Not now when they were so close to fighting something even if they didn't know what it was yet.

As the car made its way into the underground garage she wrung her hands nervously in her lap. He smoothly pulled into an available space and shut off the engine. She found herself placing a hand on his arm as he reached for the door handle stilling his movement.

His gaze turned to her and even though a word wasn't spoken she understood the question in his eyes. The answer however was one she couldn't find words to vocalize and she leaned forward to brush his lips with her own. She kissed him with longing and sadness as it filled her knowing that they had so few moments like these left. He responded his own lips softly playing against hers.

Her eyes opened and found his searching her intently and she wished again for the ability to make all this disappear.

"I love you." The only words that she could find to even begin to express what she felt in that second.

"I-" She watched him swallow hard his emotions close to the surface just like they always were. "I love you so much Buffy."

Touching his cheek in a feather light caress briefly she gave him the tiniest of smiles.

"I know." Reaching for her own door handle she got out of the car and walked towards the elevator that would take them inside.

******

Stepping into his office once more Buffy wondered if this was really a good idea. Meeting inside the building that housed the very organization you were trying to bring down could not be a smart move. They had already proved that theory true and she had to wonder what the hell they were doing back here. Of course not much else could go wrong now so there probably was little point in worrying.

The others had already arrived before her and she was glad that they could get right to work. It was the best distraction she could think of.

Taking in the room full of people she let her eyes linger on Gunn standing off in the corner alone. It was difficult for him to be there she could see it in the way he was holding himself and the occasional half glare that was thrown his way by Wes Fred and Angel couldn't really be helping. She could understand their feelings of betrayal she had been in their shoes enough times but she wouldn't hold what almost happened against the man. He was after all just as capable of making a mistake trying to muddle through the shades of gray as anyone else. She had forgiven a lot more.

"Anything new?" She hoped her tone was as light as she was trying to make it.

"Actually yes." Wes spoke up. "We've found some information of the room you and Angel spoke of."

When he didn't continue she pushed back a frustrated groan. You could take the man away from the council but you couldn't take the watcher out of the man.

"C'mon Wes make with the spillage already."

"Right. It seems that it was made as an insurance policy if you will for the Senior Partners to gain access to this plane. From what Lindsey had said to Angel they were uncertain where his loyalties would ultimately lay. This um doorway would give them the option of returning here to fix whatever damage he could accomplish. Of course it is heavily guarded to keep anyone from using the portal in reverse." He turned and spoke directly to Angel. "The creature that you saw trapped inside of it is specifically made to kill Angel using a spell of some sort but that may work to our advantage."

"How do you figure?" Buffy tried to understand what he meant but was drawing a blank.

"As long as Angel doesn't directly confront the creature some one else should be able to kill it without too much difficulty."

"Seems like the rest of us weren't even considered a marginal threat they were banking on the whole champion angle." It was the first time Gunn had spoken.

"Meaning?" She turned to face him.

"They never planned for the rest of us making it this far. The records that I managed to find stated that we'd either be dead or working for them willingly by now."

"So they expected everyone just to turn to the dark side huh? Typical. So once we get inside what are we looking at?"

"That I'm afraid we just don't know."

"And any idea where they would be holding Connor?" She spoke to Angel not knowing if he had explained the situation to the others.

"Nothing concrete but we're still looking." Wes answered her question but the look in Angel's eyes told her that he knew something the other man did not.

Well that explained it. They knew someone had been taken just not that Connor was his son.

"So the planning is a bust huh? Guess that only leaves us one option."

"And that would be what pet?"

"Same thing we always do. Rush right in and save the day."

The openly gawking faces in the room made her suppress a smile. Haven't they learned by now?

Apparently someone had because the glare she was getting from the blonde vamp indicated he'd been around for one to many of those little tasks. Well he should know he was the rescuee in a lot of instances.

"There's got to be another way." The words came through tightly clenched teeth and she sent him a haughty look in return.

"I don't think there really is and you don't either so can we get on with this?"

A pained look seemed to cross Angel's face and Buffy caught it out of the corner of her eye. She pivoted to face him and watched as he played with a small box that looked like it was lit up from the inside.

"Buffy, Spike could I talk to you a minute, alone." The puzzled look she could feel settle on her face was nothing compared to the looks he was getting from his own gang.

She took a glance at Spike and saw the same look mirrored in his eyes. Shrugging she took a step forward as Angel turned and headed into the elevator in the back of his office. Once inside the doors he let the doors close and hit the emergency stop button.

"Not that I don't like the lift or anything but what's with the secret meeting inside the secret meeting?" Spike leaned casually against the wall.

Choosing to ignore him Buffy gave a questioning look to the dark man.

"What's that you're holding?"

"I did some digging when I got here. The memory spell they used on everyone was done by this guy named Cyvus Vail he's got some big connections runs some underground stuff. Anyway I paid him a little visit. Turns out he needs something from us so in exchange he gave me this." He lifted the cube so they could see it better. "This thing here holds the real memories of everyone that had contact with Connor before. Theory is I smash it and they're all restored including Connor's."

By the look on his face Buffy could tell there was more than that at stake.

"And the problem is?"

"The problem is the way things were left between Connor and I before they did this spell. Plus the little matter of the things that happened between me and the group of people sitting in my office."

"Can't be terribly bad can it Peaches?"

"I tried to kill Wesley-" The look of shock on both their faces or the muttered bloody hell from Spike didn't seem to register to Angel. "And that's just the tip of the iceberg. I do this and things are going to change and not in a happy good way either."

"Okay so maybe not the best way to go." She muttered under her breath.

"You don't understand. Right now Connor thinks he's just a normal eighteen-year-old kid, probably scared out of his mind, whose being held against his will after his parents were brutally murdered in their own home. But if I smash this stupid thing he'll get back every memory of how to fight, how to kill, how to save himself. If I do this he stands a chance." His dark eyes were far too troubled and Buffy worried that this was the last they were going to see of rational Angel.

"I thought the point was for us to save him." She stated it as a far-gone conclusion even though she felt none of the confidence it should have provided.

"Please Buffy let's not kid ourselves we're in way over our heads. I know I didn't get that at first. So don't pretend everything is going to work out okay. I need to be sure he's going to be all right. Nothing else matters to me."

The look in his eyes brought a fleeting memory to Buffy. Not a particularly good memory but one that touched her deeply. It was when they were still fighting Glory just after Giles had made the wonderful connection between Dawn and the portal. She had gotten the same look in her eyes she knew when she had told him that there was no way world ending or not that she was going to kill her own sister. A look of pure hard determination, a look that basically said fuck the rest of the world this one and only one person is what makes the universe exist anyway so without them you all are a bunch of useless pieces of shit and who the hell cares about you anyway. She understood that feeling more so then anyone should ever have to.

"I understand. What do you want us to do?"

"Just if they need to leave don't stand in their way. We haven't got a choice about what's going to happen today but they still do. I want them to be able to make that decision without lying to them anymore." His head hung in a silent admission of defeat at his own words.

She didn't have a response to that and waited while he pressed the door open button so they could walk out.

Standing in front of them she watched Angel nervously finger the cube in his hands. He was stalling and it was past the point for such a luxury. Clearing her throat she gave him a look that simply said I'm here for you but get on with it already.

"Angel what's going on?" Fred sounded as confused as Buffy felt about this whole god forsaken mess.

"I just want you guys to remember one thing. No matter what is going to happen you all mean something to me. I know I'm not the easiest guy in the world to get to know but-"

"Poofter." The mumbled word earned a death glare from the broody vamp and a smack in the chest from her.

"I care about all of you." He managed to finish.

"The sentiment is certainly shared Angelkins but-" Lorne didn't get to finish his sentence before the cube met with the floor and shattered into a million bright points of light.

There was a pause in the room as the others grabbed their heads in unison. The sight made Buffy look critically at Angel and she noticed that Spike did too.

"I'm hurt Angelus I'm family and you didn't tell me?" His mocking tone was a bit much for her to handle.

"Shut up Spike."

"You-" They turned at the sound of Wesley's voice. The words sounded choked and his hand was covering his throat.

The look in Wesley's eyes scared her a bit. The darkness she could see swirling with a distance and despair she could only think of as a cross of what she felt when she had come back from heaven and the look in Willow's eyes when she had gone to the bad Willow place was a little frightening in its intensity.

Her gaze traveled across the others faces and she noted that Wesley while was the most severe they weren't spared with the pain and bitterness.

Apparently there was nothing to say and the room fell to silence once more and while Buffy was sympathetic to the pain they were suffering she had the realization that Connor was running out of time for a rescue.

"I'm going." She stated simply. "Wes I'm going to need that dagger. Angel I'll need you to show me how to get down there." She took the dagger from Wesley's hand and slipped it neatly into her boot. She took a second to glance back at Angel. "Don't forget that crystal thingy."

Four steps and she would be out of the office and headed for the elevator to go down stairs. Four steps that would lead her from the group of people in this office to fight for her life in solitude. Four steps that would start the end of a journey she was never sure she wanted to be on.

Chapter 27:

The three of them had ridden in the elevator in silence lost no doubt in their own thoughts. Buffy fought with the urge to dwell on the events that had just happened or on the things she knew were about to. Instead she tried to just let her impatience build at the impending fight. It was something familiar and the contradiction in what she should feel before going in guns blazing so to speak and this wealth of peace it brought her was strange but not terrifying.

At least it was familiar because getting ready to go into a major fight with her ex boyfriend and the man she was in love with not low on the wig scale. She glanced quickly from one to the other taking in their similar expressions both jaws clenched in determination both set of eyes hard at the thought of the battle to come. It would kill them she knew if she ever brought something like that up so wisely she kept it to herself.

As they reached their destination and stepped into the empty corridor she looked at Spike. He seemed to stare off to the right head tilted up at an angle as if he was scenting the air. Which she realized he probably was. Taking a quick peek at Angel she noticed him doing the same and read the tension in his muscles. So they weren't alone down here. Well that wasn't much of a surprise.

Taking a step out in front of them she swung her head back and forth letting her inner Slayer sense stretch out into the room. She only received the familiar vampire tingle she'd come to associate with the two next to her.

"We know you're here just come out already so we can get this over with." Her hand made it's way to her hip her voice echoing off the walls.

Her eyes focused on a figure that moved just out of her range of sight in the shadows. Rolling her shoulders a bit in anticipation she followed the movements as they settled just a few yards ahead of them.

She wanted to let out a groan as Marcus stepped into the light and faced them.

"Don't you have anything better to do then hang out down here in the basement?"

He didn't look to amused or happy to see them for that matter. Well her anyway he barely spared the two men a glance instead his eyes just focused on her.

"Really Buffy I'm a little disappointed. I thought we had an agreement."

"Right now I'm thinking you being disappointed in me not such a big deal." She took another step forward. "Besides who said that I wasn't still going to meet with them?"

His own step forward shortened the distance between them again. "You're being very foolish."

She shrugged her shoulders. "That a fact?" One more step forward and now they were only separated by ten feet or so.

"Do you know the opportunity you're throwing away?"

"Pffft. You really think I'm gonna be tempted to work with these guys? Do you even know what a Slayer is?" The glare she gave him was filled with disbelief and disgust.

He took another step closer to her. "It's not too far fetched is it? Slayers have given in to the dark part of their nature in the past. After all when it all comes down to it the Slayer is just a human girl. Even one as charming as yourself."

This time she let all the fury she felt at this slime bag come right to the surface.

"You know if I had a nickel for every time I heard that well lets just say I'd have a lot of nickels. I swear I think you guys should hire some writers to come up with some original material." She took one last step towards him. "Now can we get on with this?"

She didn't wait for his answer as she threw a punch to his face connecting squarely with his nose.

The lack of reaction she got from him was a little disturbing to say the least. A slow grin spread across his lips full of well just plain evil. So evil that she could feel a little shudder pass through her. Centering herself she tried again this time sending a kick to his mid section followed by a right to his jaw.

When he just straightened his jacket and rubbed his jaw she felt her stomach tighten. Stealing a quick glance behind her she took in the disbelief on the faces back there.

"Um guys suggestions would be nice."

They fell into step next to her and together they each moved in on the scumbag. She managed to land a series of jabs to his face before his fist met with her nose staggering her backwards. Then Angel closed with him only able to squeeze in one punch before he was tossed unceremoniously back to almost the elevator. She forced her way back to Spike's side in time to witness him being kicked against the right wall his body making a lasting impression on it. Facing him again she pivoted and brought a foot up to connect with the middle of his chest. This time she used enough strength to get him to stagger backwards a few steps.

She closed in again this time taking her fist and sending it just underneath his chin whipping his head backwards. Her reward was a small chuckle. This time he charged and she retreated quickly blocking his blows.

This time she saw a black blur out of the corner of her eye before it and Marcus were sent tumbling to the ground. She followed them with her eyes and watched as with a small twist Hamilton put his feet against Spike's chest and tossed him to the far side of the room.

The suit was already on his feet by the time she blinked as Angel let out a roar and rushed him. He was stopped by a fist to his temple before falling to the floor. She stepped in and launched her fist at him. This time he caught it and twisted her arm behind her bringing the back of her body up against him.

His hold on her stopped Spike dead in his stride hands dropping to his sides. To her right a little she could see Angel shaking his head and making his way to his feet.

"I don't think any of you has a real grasp on the situation." His breath trickled next to her ear. She flinched as his grasp changed and he pulled on her arm tighter.

"Really then why don't you clue us in?"

He clucked his tongue at her. "Buffy the purpose of all this should be clear. The three of you pose a very serious threat and the Partners and they don't like threats."

"And they thought what that we'd all just roll over and go along with whatever they plan?" She kept her eyes trained on Spike watching the concern flash through his eyes.

His laugh grated on her. "No far from it. You and your pet over there were quite the surprise. No they were truly only concerned with Angel."

"Let. Her. Go." She could see the hard clench of Spike's jaw.

"You may want to follow his advice. He's not known for playing nice with others." Angel was eyeing the other man looking for a weakness as far as she could tell.

Hamilton chose to ignore them.

"But you both had to step in. They made allowances for Spike of course it was easy enough to hold his interest especially during the whole Lindsey debacle. The Partners couldn't have been to mad at him considering how much work he saved them. It was almost like contract work." She felt his weight shift behind her as his free hand rested on the back of her neck. "You my dear well you’re a whole different set of complicated aren't you?"

She gave a shrug well as much as she could considering the position she was in.

"It's what I do."

"Indeed." Spike began to take a shuffling step forward. "Now I don't think you want to do that." His grip on her neck began to tighten and she had to hold in the gasp that was half pain and half surprise at his strength.

Like he could sense it Spike's step stopped.

"The question is what do you do about a girl like you?" She couldn't see his face but she had no doubt about the leer that was there now. "Originally the Partners were just going to meet with you and show you how useless your interference would be. However I took the opportunity to further my own agenda a bit."

She groaned. "Don't tell me."

"My agreement with them gives me carte blanche concerning you. A certain bonus if you will for killing you myself. I have yet to see the fun in that act alone however."

Yep just like she figured and the hate simmering in the blue eyes in front of her was not going to go out any time soon.

"What makes you so certain you'll ever get the chance?" Her voice dripped with venom and stood in sharp contrast with the even tone of his.

"None of you understands just what you are facing."

"Then why don't you enlighten us?" The huff in Angel's voice was clear.

"I am the liaison for the Senior Partners." When they failed to respond she heard a sigh pass from his lips. "You can't win. The Senior Partners are part of what I am. I am as immortal as they are. The blood of each of them runs through my veins and makes me more powerful then you can even imagine."

Buffy let out a giggle she couldn't help it. "God stuck on yourself much? Don't you realize the problem with what you just said?"

"What are you talking about?"

With his question she rammed her head back into his face her blow causing him to drop his hold on her. Stepping away and turning she gave him a small smile.

"Talking about blood with two very angry, very deadly vampires in the room? Not high on the smart scale."

She didn't need to look at either of them to know that they were already vamped as they approached Hamilton in a blur of motion. Both of them had a side of his neck faster then she could blink.

After a few seconds Hamilton had managed to throw both of them off but she could see the blood trickling down his dress shirt and knew the damage had already been done.

"Bloody hell you taste terrible." Spike stated as he circled Hamilton the opposite of Angel.

As they crossed paths a small smile passed between them and they launched themselves at the suited man. The blows came faster then Buffy's eyes could follow. Trying to make what was happening out she just watched as Hamilton began to move back and then staggered and fell to one knee. Moving in faster then even vampiric speed allowed Spike grabbed the man's head while Angel grabbed his torso and they twisted away from each other.

When they both stood up Spike still panting with exertion which she always found endearing she tapped her foot.

"Can I just say ewww?"

The small grin she got from the platinum blonde made her give one in return.

"Alright pet?"

"Just peachy on this side of keen. Ready?"

With a slight nod they moved into the next room.

Chapter 28:

Standing just inside of the open doorway Buffy fought down the surge of panic in her veins. Her eyes flit around the room not settling on any one thing but taking in the whole room. She felt a small tremble as the recognition flooded her brain and struggled to keep it down. Sucking in a deep breath she held it for a moment before letting it go slowly.

While she concentrated on her deja vu Angel had moved up the stairs to the control panel.

As the tank like structure moved up in the center of the room she took a deep breath. Feeling eyes on her she turned her head to see Spike studying her intently.

She gave him a small smile before turning her eyes away and fixating on the container that was now completely raised. Her eyes could make out the shadow of whatever strange creature the Partners had conjured made its way around the swirling vortex. Judging size was almost impossible in the warped image but whatever it was it wasn't small. It moved with a fluidity and grace her slayer senses screamed was every bit as deadly as she guessed.

There was a series of loud pings that she surmised led to the beginning of the top of the tube opening. Glancing to the side she could see Angel make his way down the set of stairs.

"Um Angel this thing? It's supposed to be designed to kill you right?"

"That's what Lindsey said."

The top started to slide open.

"Then I'm thinking you might want to wait out in the other room." As the last syllable fell on her ears the newt like head of the thing peeked out staring directly at Angel.

As the hand of the, whatever the thing was popped out she could see Angel back slowly to the door. Then he just seemed to stop. A second hand appeared and she cast a nervous glance in his direction.

"Uhh Angel?"

Whatever this thing was it was slimy in appearance and a dark green color. Its large eyes never strayed from Angel's form, as it seemed to pull itself up.

"Angel?" She asked him again and tore her gaze from the amphibian like creature back to him.

"Small problem."

"Not now. Now is not a good time for a problem." She gestured to the creature that was now more then halfway out of the tank.

"The door it's locked." There was definitely no tone of happiness in his voice.

"You got an idea about this thing pet?" Spike seemed to only concentrate on the thing entering the room with them.

She took her eyes off Angel and looked back at the thing which she had a name for maybe something like salamander.
Its leg was now on the outside of the tank and in just a few milliseconds it would be fully exposed.

"Nope I got nothing. How bout you?" Asking was stupid of course none of them had a plan and well neither her nor Spike were known for plotting.

"Sorry."

"That's what I thought. So we jump right in as usual. Angel you better stay behind us." She tossed the last words of her shoulder as newt boy jumped to the ground.

Her eyes took in creature as it straightened to its full height. Tall it must have been around six foot five and broadly muscular. Buffy noticed the slime thing seemed to cover the whole body and its sharp eyes never ever left Angel.

She glanced at Spike as he finished sizing the thing up and gave him a curious tilt of her head.

"So you want to go first?"

His eyes seemed to travel over the creature’s form and then back to her.

"I'll give it a go."

As he approached the newt for lack of a better term she realized the very critical mistake they had made. There was little of the room left with the thing in its center. Little room for them to maneuver or to block the thing from getting to Angel. Why hadn't they thought of leaving the door open? Her glance went from Spike and back to Angel. Well that kind of answered her question.

During the like five steps it took for Spike to reach the new creature it hadn't moved or reacted to his proximity. It stood almost patiently its eyes looked on Angel it's nostrils flaring slightly as it took in and expelled air. Catching his slight movement out of the corner of her eye she let out a small gasp as the creature jumped in reaction. It took a lumbering step forward before Angel halted his movement.

"Don't move." She hissed towards him her eyes now trained on the blond as he started to swing a punch at the newt.

Fist connecting it seemed to sink into the slime along the creatures hide before connecting with its jaw. Apparently that was enough to get its attention because its lips seemed to draw back exposing a set of teeth reminiscent of Jaws. That really couldn't be good. But even then its eyes swiveled back to the man behind her.

It's jaws clashing together Spike had to jump out of the way as the head unexpectedly swiped at him. Once distance was reestablished between them the creature seemed to ignore that Spike was still there. She had never seen something with such a singular focus as this thing and hoped that it was a magical trait.

"Spike." It was a half whisper half urgent call only loud enough for him to hear her and understand her need to be heard.

His eyes instantly found hers questioning silently.

Slowly drawing the dagger out of her boot she flicked her eyes from it to the creature and back to Spike. When his brow furrowed she suppressed the sigh that threatened to bubble out of her chest. This time she gestured with the dagger to the creature making stabbing motions reminiscent of Anthony Perkins.

At this he quirked an eyebrow at her and she had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. Right now was not the time for him to be his annoying snarky self.

Unfortunately the delay between them left Angel too much time left to his own devices. Feeling a little secure about the lack of movement from the slimy amphibian he took a full step to his right and away from Buffy.

Newt boy was not amused. The reaction was almost instantaneous as it lunged forward anticipating Angel's move. Taking stock of the dagger sitting in her hand and seeing the distance between the creature and Angel disappear she flipped it in her hand joggled it for the weight and threw it.

Each move was made in fractions of a second just long enough for the thing to be just abreast of its goal before her aim proved true and the dagger entered its eye. It staggered back letting loose with an ear piercing shriek. Momentarily distracted from its prey Spike took the advantage and jumped on the creatures back.

Not the wisest move the vampire had ever made and just short of effective as he slipped and slid along the slimy creature. Only the grip he had around the things neck kept him in place and he was struggling with that she could tell.

"Spike will you stop goofing around already?" She was hesitant to give up her place since it still partially blocked the view of Angel to the already enraged creature but she really wanted to get that dagger back and finish this fight.

"Ha ha Slayer. You just gonna stand there?"

She let out a sigh. Why did she always have to finish these things? Oh yeah right Slayer, Chosen One, destiny, and yada yada yada.

"Angel when I tell you I want you to run back up the steps." Her gaze was concentrated on the duo spinning round in circles in front of them so she failed to notice the stunned expression on his face.

"What?" She could sense him shaking his head repeatedly. "Have you seen the way that thing reacts when I move?"

"I need the distraction. Besides you got that whole vampire speed thing should be a piece of cake."

"I don't think this is such a good idea Buffy."

"Stop being such a bloody poof and do what the lady says!" How he was managing to form a complete sentence was beyond her with all the spinning.

"Will you get down from there already? As soon as he moves we'll rush it together."

She could hear Angel grumbling behind her but she couldn't make out the words. It really didn't matter though as she watched Spike choose that moment to let his grip around the things neck go and went sailing against the railing on the stairs.

"Graceful I'll give it a six." She couldn't help the smirk that graced her lips.

Behind her she could hear a steady chuckle.

Now he was mumbling something about unfunny poofters and teasing bints, which she couldn't quite make out as he got to his feet. She took in the sight of him and bit back a series of laughs that threatened to overwhelm her.

From the top of his blond curls to the tip of the Doc's on his feet Spike was dripping in slime. She so wanted to comment but thought better of the idea when she took in the look of the creature’s one good eye.

"Okay Angel now!"

As he turned from behind her and made his way to the stairs Buffy and Spike rushed forward. Spike grabbed the creature around the middle keeping it from advancing towards Angel. She quickly slid the dagger out of its eye and jumped back to avoid its jaws. Sidestepping its hand snaking towards her she ducked and dragged the blade across its throat. Seeing her make the deep cut Spike let go of the thing and grabbed for the back of its head. She dodged another swing of its arm and went back over the same cut this time sinking it even deeper in its throat. For good measure she turned and sunk the dagger into the heart of the creature.

When it started to slide to the floor she took in the sight of the blond before her and had to let out a laugh. He didn't seem to appreciate it as he crossed his arms over his chest and lifted his eyebrow at her in response.

She just gave him a shrug and walked up the steps to the platform where Angel was without seeing if he was following her.

Chapter 29:

The three of them stood at the top of the platform staring into the swirling vortex incased just below them. The fun lighthearted atmosphere was gone now replaced by this little feeling of awe and fear. Not that the two next to her would admit to that but it was there anyway.

Bringing her head up she took a look at the two of them.

They were deep in thought and she was sure the same look of deep reflection was on her face. Here they stood maybe a step away from going into a portal that would take them into whatever dimensions the Partners call home. It was something that was a bit much to take in all at once.

Not that it was what she was thinking of, well at least not in the same way they were. This last step into a sort of abyss was the last step she would take before facing the thing in her nightmares. So for her this was some of the last minutes she knew she would get to spend with the men at her side. She wished that she hadn't been such a coward before and had talked to her friends letting them know that she had forgiven them. Wished for the chance to make sure they knew that she loved them.

It was too late now and she understood that. Whatever fate had in mind when it set up this little shindig was about to play out. Funny that she was sort of okay with that. Not that she relished the fact that she might die or who was she kidding that she was going to die, but she had been fate's plaything long enough that she understood some things couldn't be changed. The only thing was sometimes fate messed with the rules a little. It was something that gave her a little hope.

But staring into a portal of energy that she had to jump into? Not helping. Too many not so nice memories associated with that thank you very much.

Taking another glance at the two of them she felt an impulse and for once went with it. Reaching out with her hands she took one of theirs in hers. Brown and blue questioning eyes swiveled to meet hers and she just gave them a small smile. There was no way she could voice what she was feeling and in her mind she asked whoever was in charge up there that they understand just how much they meant to her.

Letting their hands go she took a small step forward closing her eyes to work up the nerve to make a jump so similar to one she made before. The first time she had done it with a clear conscience secure in her knowledge that everyone she loved knew she loved them in return and that they would be alright without her. It had been her time and her calling to leave them at that point. Now she was faced with the same fate without the same clear thoughts. This time the thought brought her no sense of peace no sense of completion at what they demanded from her. There were so many things she had yet to do many of which involved a certain blond menace by her side.

Fighting off the urge to shake her head at her unproductive thoughts she opened her eyes once more. Pushing back with her right foot she could feel the cold steel of the dagger and knew that in a few moments her course would change again. It was time she made peace with that.

Not looking back she jumped forward and into the portal.

********

Tumbling out of the portal she rolled to her feet across the earthen floor. She glanced around quickly taking in the bareness of the cavern seeing only the faint illumination of the few torches along its walls. Ahead of her was a narrow passage.

Only one direction to go then. She waited a few more seconds for the others to join her but nothing came except the silence. Here she was in another dimension alone, it wasn't the most comforting thought she'd had. They would be there eventually she knew so there really was no point in just standing around waiting for them to show up.

Following the torches she walked down the narrow passage slowly listening carefully for any movement. It was still deathly silent apart from the muffled thunk of her footsteps. After a few yards she could make out the end of the passage a soft light entered from the room and as she made her way closer she could feel a slight tingling that made the hair on the back of her neck stand straight up. Something probably not nice was in that room.

Stopping in the shadows near the entrance of the next cavern she reached into her boot to pull out the dagger. There was a gut instinct that told her that whatever she was facing in this room was the last obstacle before they had a chance at the Senior Partners and hopefully where they were holding Connor. She was certain of it in fact. Feeling comforted by the weight of the dagger in her hand she finally stepped into the room.

Her eyes scanned quickly searching for things hidden in the darkness. Most of the cavern was just like the first one empty and lit with a few torches along the walls. But this room made her stomach flip flop with the familiarity of it. Well just not the room considering what was in the center. Easily a demon tall, very muscular, very red, with four arms and two swords. In the center of its chest were the markings that Wesley had told her were a binding spell.

The demons nostrils flared scenting her approach no doubt since she had entered the passage. Its dark eyes followed her steps as she moved forward her fingers tightening around the dagger. She stopped leaving maybe fifteen feet between them neither moving as they gazed at the other. There was a strange calm that seemed to take over her as she watched the demon size her up that she thought odd. Here facing this thing that in many torturous nightmares had caused an unending series of deaths and yet there was no fear. No sense of foreboding that she expected.

Then as if by mutual signal their dance began. Both beings circled neither moving forward just orbiting around the other waiting for the first move.

It broke first and lunged towards her. She began to lose herself in the steady rhythm of the fight punch kick spin duck dodge. Each move was matched evenly making the moves flow from one being to the other. Time lost all meaning and she had no idea how long they continued to twirl around each other. In fact it was so fluid that her mind began to wander her body taking the clues from the demons movements without any thought.

She thought about the way she had dreaded this moment and concentrated on the dream. The deciding factor she had thought was the distraction that she had experienced when Spike had entered the room. But with the way they were fighting now she knew that Satan himself could walk in and she would be able to match the demon's moves. So that really wasn't what her dream had been telling her. Her mind skimmed over the other factors in the dream it was the same cavern that she was sure of and yes the demon was exactly what she had seen in her mind's eye. Eyes traveling to her hand she took in the dagger again. It was the same dagger she knew it, had known it in Angel's office by the feeling it gave her in the pit of her stomach. So maybe it was something about the dagger. She tried to concentrate on the things that Wesley had told them about it. Created in the blood of a true warrior used to cleanse the original demons from the earth. That could mean that the dagger was intended to take out the Senior Partners they had been around a long time maybe they were part of the original set.

That kind of made sense to her and she almost nodded as she ducked another punch. Rolling from the blade of the demons sword she tried to recall what else he had said. It was something important she knew it was tickling the back of her mind. Blood was important of course it was Spike had said so years ago it was always about the blood. But she was still lacking a detail and it would very soon drive her mad.

This thought was enough to distract her into miscalculating a step and the demon's sword cut along her left arm not deep but just enough for her to feel the pain and to bleed a little. Thinking maybe it would be better to concentrate on the fight she let her mind slip back into battle mode. They continued to move together in a deadly dance that both had perfected the steps for.

A punch followed by the jab of the dagger, spin, crouch, sweep out its legs, the moves kept coming but that little niggling in her brain refused to let up and she once again looked at the metal in her hands.

What had he said in Angel's office blood warrior pure what other word was it? The words circled around in her mind chanting over and over. What was the missing link what was the other word?

Seconds passed maybe minutes; it just as easily could have been years as her brain chased itself in a dizzying circle.

As she flipped to the side of the demon and kicked out with her foot sending it backwards the word came to her.

Sacrifice.

Oh that word. No good could come of that word.

It was too fucked up not even her life could be that screwed could it?

She released a sigh she had no idea she had been holding. But of course it could. Her life was the definition of fucked up.

Her mind which had seen one too many cryptic messages began to piece together a puzzle she now wished she could never put together.

A pure warrior whose blood was sacrificed.

A warrior or Champion like Whistler mentioned who had elevated themselves to where the Powers that Be determined they had nothing left to prove.

Someone like her.

Oh irony was a royal bitch.

The dagger was a tool that needed to be used with some kind of power that the sacrifice of her blood would unlock. She was the key.

Not funny in the least.

Moving in this cavern fighting against this whatever demon while the sound of their blows echoed around them she understood all the events since that night that she had been kicked out of her house. It all led to this.

Guess jumping into portals did only equal in ones own death.

So was this her only choice wasn't their another way?

The answer came to her quickly.

No.

There really wasn't because they had been showing her the way the whole time.

Her death.

The sacrifice needed for them to shut down the evil the Senior Partners were plotting.

The sacrifice needed to save Angel's son.

Was it so different from when she jumped to save her own sister's life, to save the world by closing Glory's portal?

No.

It was her calling the thing she had been born to do. Because death was her gift. The one gift she could give to the world to save it.

The sound of footsteps told her that they had finally made it into the cavern.

Oh God. Spike.

The thought brought a flash of pain because she knew seeing her die again, would be like killing him herself.

And even though her mind was now clear and she understood what her little role was in this her heart was heavy with that knowledge.

In the dream she had been struck down by the demon's sword when he entered the room, not because he was a distraction. But because he would stop her if he knew.

She could feel him there tensing to join in on the fight and felt the time slip through her fingers.

Just so damn sorry.

Dropping her arm with the dagger she took a step forward.

Without missing a beat the demon sank the sword into her chest and raked it downward shooting white-hot pain through her body.

Gasping she slid to the floor. Well her dreams had told her the truth this hurt worse then anything she had ever experienced.

He was over her in a second his eyes filled with a pain she had promised to both of them she would never put there again. A promise her last act had broken.

"Buffy." One of his hands was caressing her face and she felt the other putting pressure on part of the wound. It was too big for him to effectively stop the bleeding this way but he didn't seem to notice.

"Spike I'm sorry."

"Oh pet please just hold on."

This time she didn't need to tell him how much it hurt there was no need.

"The dagger Spike use it some kind of power against them." She placed the dagger on her chest resting it along the gash in her body. Resting it in her blood.

He could only nod and she saw the tears in his eyes. She knew he could hear her labored breathing the steady decline of her heartbeat.

"Buffy." Her name was choked through his throat.

Reaching up she placed the palm of her hand against his cheek. She gazed into his eyes hoping that all the love she felt for him was there for him to see. To witness that the last thoughts she had on this earth were of him.

"I love you Spike." Her voice was reedy drawing air was increasingly difficult and it sapped more of her strength.

He was beyond words she could see it in his eyes and wished that she could whisk the pain away.

If wishes were horses.

"Remember your promise." He could only nod as he crouched closer to her as her voice turned to a whisper. "Love you always."

The light around her was dimming and she concentrated on those eyes in front of her. Eyes that even now tears were falling from dripping down from her like a shower from heaven. The proof of his love for her.

She drew in a small painful breath and felt her hand slide back down from his face while her vision swam and the darkness swept her away.

Chapter 30:

All encompassing darkness. Nothing not a glimmer not even a twinkle of light that would deliver her from a black that was impossible to describe. She had no sense of time, no presence of how long she was encased in the lack of all light.

But time didn't matter anymore did it?

It settled around her like the cloak of night. It was almost comforting. The night was what she understood best.

Such thoughts were fleeting though and soon like a pinpoint she saw it.

Light.

It was something that was drawing her in. A pull that she felt helpless to resist. Kind of like gravity.

The pinpoint grew and became a spot. The spot became wider and grew bigger as she felt closer to it.

Until she felt herself surrounded in the brightest light she had ever witnessed something she normally would shut her eyes against.

But that was all relative wasn't it?

The light bathed the area around her drawing her in with a feeling of warmth.

It was too clichéd for her to stomach.

"I know it's really been done to death."

"Now I know I'm not in heaven. Whistler can't you leave me alone?" The annoying demon was beside her looking as rumpled as always staring at her with she thought was a smirk.

"If only they'd let me." His eyes were cast upward beseeching a higher power no doubt.

With his presence the area around her shifted slightly and she could make out its room like structure. At least there were walls and the floor under her feet. The brightness dimmed just a bit more and now she could make out a white chair and a pool of water across from them.

She shrugged at his behavior and since she wasn't in a rush took a seat in the chair.

"All right what's the big deal?"

"Well you're dead."

She hoped he was getting the eye roll she was giving him. It would be such a waste if he weren’t.

"Can you say duh? Kind of got that. Do you have a point here?"

"Just stating a fact." He shrugged at her. "The only question now is what next?"

"Um hello? Dead here I don't think there is a next."

"Wrong sweetheart. I told you before all this started that the powers wanted to reward you."

"Some reward." She snorted.

"Well this isn't it. There were a few things they had to take care of first." He gestured to the pool. "You finished out your part in this and now look."

She didn't want to. It was hard enough blocking out the memories of her last few minutes enough so that she could talk. The pain was building inside of her so fast that she knew it would soon take her over. They may have granted her the escape of death but as long as she knew that he was down there without the same luxury her heart would continue to break.

The scene that she saw reflected in the pool was exactly as she had pictured it would be. Spike and Angel were fighting ferociously against three demons Spike fighting two while Angel battled one. Against another wall she could make out the body of a youngish man seemingly unconscious and chained up. It had to be Connor and for once she could at least take a little pride in the fact that she was right.

The two of them were almost a blur as they continued to fight the obviously older and stronger demons. Every hit they landed every kick that hit only seemed to bounce off them. As she watched she could see the flash of steel near Spike and could see the blood that went flying with each stab and slice.

"Are they going to be okay?" She didn't look away to engrossed in the fight before her.

"Of course they are. This is their destiny remember? They’re finally doing what they were meant to."

"And after this?"

"There will be something else."

"When does it all end?" She finally turned and looked at Whistler.

"The fight? It never does. You already know that. The only thing that changes is who is doing the fighting."

"And for them when will that be?" Her eyes drifted back to the pool watching as one of the demons seemed to sag to the ground.

"I don't have the answers to that." She felt him take a step closer to her. "You're still worried about them."

She gave him a look that clearly said duh.

"I've known them both for such a long time now. How can I not worry? You said that I was the only one of us that had finally proven myself and wasn't fighting with the whole redemption thing. How many years of fighting will they have to do just to make peace with what they've done before? If I had to go through this much what can you be expecting of two vampires who murdered for over a century? When will it all be enough?" She turned to face him again. "And now I've died again. How the hell is Spike supposed to learn to live with that? How is Angel supposed to learn to deal with it? When will the torment be enough to satisfy these guys?"

Stepping away from the pool she sighed. The fight was almost over now both of them were wailing on the last demon.

"Look if I had the answers I wouldn't be the messenger I would be up there running the show. I don't know what they thought they could expect from any of you. So much is left to chance the whole free will thing is a big kick of theirs. Leaves just enough room for doubt. You feel like your all just a bunch of play things for them and in a way you're right. This isn't their reality it's yours. To them sure the big cosmic joke thing is a hoot in a half. So no I don't know the answer. Maybe no one really does."

"No I guess they don't. And it would have been nice to actually have a choice with my little death scene there. Free will my ass. You show me where I could have made another decision and have it work out."

"That's the thing you could have chosen not to have things work out. To sacrifice Angel's son to the fact that you wanted to live. But you didn't. You could have done any number of things but that was the choice you made."

"Forgive me if I'm not really convinced. Why are we here any way? Are you just here to chat with me before I move on or is this some form of torture?"

"I told you they wanted to reward you."

"I really don't understand you. I thought restoring my soul and closing the hellmouth were my reward."

"Nope just a means to an end. You couldn't have released the power in the dagger without having your soul restored and well they thought closing that hellmouth was long overdue. I mean how many times has it almost been opened? It was just getting annoying. Besides there are still five more out there."

"Great to know that they could have just sealed it anytime." She gave him a glare that told him how frustrated she was with the whole thing.

"No not anytime just this time. They wanted you to have the chance you did with Spike. Originally they thought the two of you would get more then two good weeks together. The Senior Partners were the ones that did the screwing with there."

"So what is it then?"

"Another choice."

"FUCK!" She threw her hands into the air and paced away from him. "Do you know how sick and tired I am of all this? All of it? What the hell have I got to do to have just a little peace? Every time I think I finally found it be it in heaven or on earth someone comes by and destroys it. I can't take any more." Her voice had died down to a whisper and she was pretty sure there were tears falling from her eyes.

"Don't you think you should hear what you’re going to be choosing from first?" He gave her a sympathetic smile. "I told you this is a reward. Buck up already. Choice number one you can move on from here go back to heaven with the knowledge that everyone you care about will be all right with the exception of the three other warriors. They of course have their destinies to follow. Or you can choose door number two."

"And I'm almost afraid to ask."

"Simple we send you back. You get to live out the rest of your life in the manner in which you see fit. The only difference would be that they would no longer expect you to be the Chosen One any more. You get to keep all the extra Slayer bonuses but you won't be tied to that obligation any longer. That's Faith's job now."

"What's the catch?" At his disbelieving look she rolled her eyes. "There's always a catch."

"No not this time. The choice is as straight forward as that. Live again or go to heaven. Period."

"Why do I have a hard time believing that?" She walked over to one of the chairs and sat down.

He didn't give her the dignity of a response.

"How long do I have before I decide?"

"Actually you need to make the choice in the next few minutes."

"No pressure huh?" Her sarcasm lacked its usual bite as she rose distracted to walk back to the pool.

Her eyes fixed on the tableau in front of her. Angel was unchaining Connor and lowering him to the floor of the cavern as she watched Spike finally finished with the fight sink to his knees as sobs shook his thin frame. Her heart lurched in her chest, if indeed it was still there in this spirit plane; feeling like someone was trying to rip it out.

His pain was almost something she could reach out and touch, something that was almost visible pouring of his body in waves. His hands were covering his face now and she could only let her tears fall as she watched Angel place a hand on his shoulder and squeeze it.

The contact seemed to startle him and he looked up at Angel the anguish etched into his beautiful features.

Her decision was already made maybe before she even had the choice.

**********

Everything was dark again not the complete and utter blackness of before but dark nonetheless. A sudden series of sensations slammed into her.

First was pain, deep searing pain of the like she would never like to feel again. Then a burning in her chest as she suddenly had the notion that she had not taken a needed breath in a while. It took a second for her mind to convince the muscles to function accordingly and pull the oxygen in.

The cool air caused her throat to constrict and she started to cough. The jarring of her body caused the pain to deepen and her eyes finally opened only to squint at the bright light around her. Okay the light wasn't really bright but her eyes had been closed for a bit now and the light in the cavern was not her friend.

In the midst of all this she had the idea that she wasn't lying flat on the ground any more. Which when she thought about it was kind of odd. Forcing her eyes back open she tried to see what was going on around her.

"Take it easy Buffy. That's it slow even breaths."

The voice was soft but distinctly British.

Turning her head slightly she could finally see the rougher features of the new and improved Wesley. She was resting half in his lap her head elevated and she could feel his hands applying pressure to her sternum. Dear God was she still bleeding?

She opened her mouth to speak and could see the frown start to form on the mans face. Okay so no talking apparently.

Damn Whistler when he said they were just going to send her back couldn't they have at least healed the big slash she'd gotten from that sword. She really hated that stupid demon.

She took a slightly deeper breath cringing when the pain came with it.

"Spike?" She whispered his name.

"They haven't come back yet but I'm sure their fine." She didn't have the strength to tell him that she wasn't worried about the fight since she had seen it all. He didn't know that.

He seemed to be staring intently at her. She raised her eyebrow in question at least that way it wouldn't hurt.

There was a rumbling in the cavern the ground gave a soft pitch and roll. Buffy rolled her eyes this couldn't be good.

"We may have to get out of here."

She really wished it wouldn't hurt to talk because that sentence? Can we say understatement of the century? She just wished the others would hurry up.

As if in answer she could hear the sound of footsteps coming into the chamber. Well footsteps at first and then one set of feet thudding at a run toward her. She managed to turn her head in time to see Spike land on his knees in front of her.

"Buffy?" The tears in his eyes didn't hurt her nearly as much when there was such joy in his voice.

She pushed a small tight smile his way and lifted her hand enough to cover his.

No matter how much pain she was in she couldn't help but let out a genuine smile as his mouth flew over her face covering her in gentle butterfly kisses.

She couldn't even make out what he was saying he was shaking so much.

It was then that the cavern moved again. Apparently getting rid of the Senior Partners wasn't agreeing with this dimension.

"We've got to go now!" That was Angel and she had to agree.

She was lifted gently in Spike's arms and even though she knew that each step he took was going to be a new lesson in agony she couldn't think of a better place to be. Burying her head in his neck she held on tightly and gave a contented sigh before she passed out from the pain.

She'd chosen Heaven after all.

Epilogue:

Her eyes blinked at the whiteness of the room around her and for a second her chest constricted thinking that it had been some kind of trick and she was back in that stupid room with that insufferable stupid demon.

Thankfully the beeping of the machines behind her shattered that thought in just a second. She took in the feel of the cool sheets around her and gave an experimental little stretch. There was still a lot of pain in her chest but it felt like it was healing okay.

The sound of voices drifted in to her from outside of the room.

"Miraculous really. The doctors said that any normal person would have been dead just from the blood loss alone."

Wesley's Watcher voice that brought back some memories.

"She was dead Wes. Spike and I heard her heart stop."

"Be that as it may Angel the point is she's alive now and seems to be recovering rather speedily."

"But what happened down there?" The slight twang in the light voice identified it easily enough as Fred to her.

"Not much actually. Big fight with big demons then we kill them."

Her eyes wandered the room letting the sounds of their conversation turn into a low drone in the back of her mind. Now that her eyes were focused she could see the brightness of the room was more due to the awful florescent lights that were overhead then the actual color around her. How anyone would be able to sleep with that much light was beyond her.

She dismissed the plain beige of the walls and the small counter that lined one side of the room where a single small flower arrangement of daisies sat. She wondered briefly who they were from before turning her head to take in the chair near the side of the bed.

Apparently the over use of light didn't seem to bother some people.

Spike was sitting in the chair fast asleep his head resting on her bed, which couldn't be exactly comfortable. She couldn't resist letting her fingers run through the soft curls of his hair. If possible his features seemed to relax even further and settle deeper into sleep.

She felt a grin spread on her lips at the sight of the man she loved. Just as always when she needed him here he was by her side. He was her reward. One that she wouldn't take lightly and she could only hope in whatever time she was allowed to remain with him that he knew that every second.

The peace in the room seemed to evaporate as Angel walked into the room.

"Buffy?"

She lifted her hand and brought her fingers to her mouth in a shushing gesture.

The sad smile that Angel gave her spoke volumes as he nodded his head in agreement.

"Just wanted to make sure you were okay." His voice was a whisper now he didn't want to wake Spike either.

The last two days had been rough on the peroxide blond. Between watching Buffy die fighting the senior partners finding Buffy alive again and waiting for the last fourteen hours for her to get through surgery and wake up well he had little time to rest from the emotional roller coaster that he'd been on. Through it all Angel had kept a worried eye on his errant childe.

With Buffy now so obviously on the mend he couldn't help a sigh of relief. Not only for himself but for him too. The love the two of them felt for each other wasn't something he was capable of denying. Not anymore. Not when it was so obvious and especially not when it had almost been lost.

"I'm fine. You guys are gonna get me out of here right?"

"First thing in the morning. Wes is gonna bring a car around and pick the two of you up. I'll just let you guys rest." Angel began to back out of the room.

"Angel." Her soft call to him made him stop and turn his warm brown eyes to her. "What are you going to do now?"

The question hadn't even crossed his mind in the events up to and following the death of the foe that he had been fighting against for a good number of years. Now with everything settled and the return of the confidence of his friends in him even if it was slightly uneasy in the face of their regained memories allowed his thoughts to turn to the future. He was sure the Powers would continue to use him in any manner they saw fit and he was still accepting of that. He had chosen his own road of redemption after all and it was no stretch for him to continue on that path. It was just now he felt better knowing he wasn't the only one.

His eyes turned to the sleeping vampire and gave a soft smile. No he wasn't as alone as he used to be.

"We'll go back to the hotel. Reopen Angel Investigations. Continue to help the helpless."

Buffy gave him a tired but genuine smile.

"If you ever..."

"I know." He returned her smile before he left the room.

*******

She sat quietly in the car her eyes trained on the door to the house.

Two days of rest and she was fully recovered from her injuries. Now she sat in the car its tinted windows allowing the light from the setting sun to warm her gently and not catch her companion in a blaze of fire. They hadn't really spoken about what she had experienced not that she was keeping it from him but she could see the emotion in his face every time he looked at her. Like he was working around the lump of tears in his throat. He was still just trying to get used to the idea that she wasn't dead. Again.

She wasn't sure if he was ready to hear that he was still going to be a pawn of the Powers that Be. A Champion they would feel the need to test over and over again before he too was allowed the rewards they promised. If only to be free of their duties. She was definitely sure that he wasn't ready to hear that she had given up her second chance at heaven for him.

Catching the look in his blue eyes she was sure of it. It was too soon for him to know.

But that didn't mean she couldn't show him just what he meant to her. How much she loved him. Why he had been her choice.

She had no regrets. No forbidden wishes that she had lived or chosen differently. Not with him.

The thought that she was happy even sitting here in one of Angel's appropriated cars while they waited for the sun to finish setting before they went to the house brought a small smile to her face. No she didn't have any regrets.

The last two days had been filled with tender looks and touches that she would never thought the both of them capable of. Filled with tremendous amounts of love communicated through touch and feel through sound and taste. Neither willing to leave the side of the other for more then a few minutes at a time. He was being extra possessive of her afraid that the second she left his presence that she would just disappear. Similarly she was afraid for the first day that she would turn around and he would be snatched out of her grasp by the cruel beings that watched over their fate.

It didn't happen of course and she began to relax.

Spike on the other hand....

She turned to look at her vampire, her man, her friend, her lover, her mate. Because even if he had yet to claim her she could feel the inevitable as it drew near. And it pleased her to no end.

The soft look in his deep blue eyes made her smile and she placed her hand over his.

"Are you ready?" She couldn't help the slight note of nervousness in her voice for what they were about to do.

"Only if you are pet." His support was there she knew without it even being spoken.

"Spike?" At his look she sighed letting out the tension that had been building steadily in her body for the last half hour. "When we get done I want to go back to Cleveland."

They hadn't spoken about what would happen since she had gotten out of the hospital and she knew that he would be surprised. The widening of his eyes confirmed her guess easily.

"You want to..."

"Yeah I liked it there."

"But your mates..."

"Are getting on just fine without me." She tightened her fingers over their clasped hands. "But only if you want to go."

He cocked his head to the side trying to read her she was sure.

"Only if I...?"

He seemed in capable of finishing a sentence and if she hadn't wanted him to take the rather one-sided conversation seriously she would have giggled at his lack of verbage.

"Spike we started a new life together. I just want to get back to it." The light that she saw in his eyes warmed her already loving heart. "I love you."

She never got tired of saying those three words to him. Of course she was sure he never got tired of hearing them.

His hand caressed her cheek as his lips gently brushed against hers. A chaste kiss really but one that held the promise of more tomorrows surrounded in love. The kind of kiss every girl dreams of but so few ever get.

When they parted she stroked her hand softly over his. She let a teasing grin come out to play across her features.

"So was that a yes?"

"Oh god pet. If you didn't know it by know I'd follow you to the bloody ends of the earth."

As the last of the fading light slipped beyond the horizon she leaned over and kissed him gently.

"Just to Cleveland okay?"

He nodded his assent and she squared her shoulders as she reached for the door handle.

They walked up the front steps and onto the porch pausing before the familiar door. Standing side by side.

Through her own nervousness she could feel his unease and she reached out and took his hand in hers drawing him closer to her side. Satisfied she used her free hand to knock on the door.

The squeal that greeted them was sharp and piercing and one of the loveliest sounds she had ever heard.

"Hey Dawnie Merry Christmas."

And as they followed the excited teen into the house Buffy felt her happiness and contentment fill her. With the same look reflected back at her from the man by her side she was sure that no matter what life and upper beings had to throw at them in the future she would always have this.

She was okay with that.