Where does my heart beat now by Gilly Bean

Prologue

Where does my heart beat now

William Nieson was running late. He still had to go to the cleaners and pick up the dress his wife, Drusilla, planned to wear to the benefit they were attending later that night. His workers kept stopping him, thrusting papers in his face. They wanted signatures of approval, details on undetailed sections, and in general, they wanted more direction.

He finally waved off the last of them, telling them to take it as it was written, and that he would see them all in the morning. He got into his pick-up, and sped towards the cleaners. Dru would kill him if he forgot the dress.

************

Drusilla was sitting in the back room of her small shop, talking with her best friend, Melanie. She was nearly in tears, and rambling on about having to write the speech still, having to get ready, and having to get home. She looked up, saw that it was already 5, and gasped. Wiping her face, she smiled as Melanie shooed her out the door.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll do fine tonight!”

“I know, I know! I just hate speaking in public. So, who are you bringing tonight?” Dru asked Melanie, who smiled towards her with a wink.

“I don’t know. Still have 2 hours, don’t I?” Dru laughed as she left the shop, shaking her head the whole way.

************

William walked into the house dripping wet, a coat pulled up over his curly honey blond hair. He tossed the car keys onto the side table, and hurried up the curving stairs, shaking the water from his tux as he went. Downstairs, he heard Dru call out for him as she entered the front door.

“Up here, Dru. Got your dress here.”

“It is pouring out there, you didn’t go out dressed like that, did you?” Dru had stopped at the door to the bathroom, and looked over William’s wet pants. Groaning mockingly, she laughed towards him. “William, your pants are positively drenched!” He just looked up and gave her a boyish grin before turning her hair dryer on to dry the pants.

************

Willow sat next to the hospital bed, talking animatedly about a date she had gone on the night before with a boy oddly named Oz. She kept right on talking, as though oblivious to the unconscious girl laying still on the bed. In the background, monitors hummed quietly, emitting soft beeps now and then. After describing her date, Willow finally took a deep breath, and pulled her stool up next to the bed before sitting on it. She took the frail pale hand into her own, and brushed a stray hair back from Buffy’s face.

“Don’t worry, sweetie. They’ll find a donor in time. You’ll get to live your long life. I promise.” Willow told her friend quietly.

************

William pulled Dru into his arms as the music began, and they drifted slowly over a filled dance floor. The benefit was for the local women’s shelter. It desperately needed a new building. The old was failing down around the abandoned and abused women and children. The heating wouldn’t hold out long, the plumbing was shoddy at best, and the wiring was faulty. They glided together across the floor, both lost in each other’s love. Dru rested her head on William’s shoulder, and William rested his chin on Dru’s head.

************

He turned to smile at her. She looked back at him with a smile as well. Neither had the chance to see the car swerve over, and come slamming into the side of the truck, sending them reeling around the lane, before the truck rolled, and finally, came to a stop on it’s side.

************

William ran next to her, the words everyone was shouting becoming foreign language to him. She was so pale, so still. Blood covered his clothes, but even more of it covered his wife. A man stopped him, tugging at his arm, and William cried out for Dru, his hand reaching for her as they slipped away through a set of doors.

“We’ll do our best for her..” The man next to him kept repeating to William as they led him away.

************

“How’s she doing today, Willow?”

“No better… she isn’t coming out of it this time, I don’t think. Not unless she gets a donor. She’s to weak.” Her voice was quiet, sad. Giles sat next to her, nodding his head as he listened. Joyce stood and left the room quietly, having heard enough. She couldn’t sit and watch her only child die like this. She was supposed to live longer then Joyce, but she wasn’t going to. The chances of getting a proper heart donor this late in the game was almost nil.

She was standing outside when her husband, Giles, came running out. In his hands was the pager they had just for any emergencies with Buffy. Both looked at the pager, trembling in fear. They didn’t want to see the code 5 on it, because that meant she was gone. Neither expected to see a 1 on it, however. Blinking, they looked again.

“Giles… she has a heart…” Her voice trailed off.

************

William walked into the townhouse with Melanie. She was pale, her eyes rimmed in red, but she was holding it together as she half supported William next to her.

‘Your parents will be in at 9:30, and I’ll bring them straight here. Do you want me to stay? I don’t want to leave you hear alone.”

William shook his head, and waved her off, but still didn’t say anything. The news hadn’t hit him completely yet, but he knew she wasn’t coming home. She wouldn’t be walking in that door any minute, and she wouldn’t be in bed with him that night. He walked quietly up the stairs, then stopped at the empty bedroom.

Turning around, he practically ran to the living room. He slumped down onto the couch, great racking sobs finally spilling forth as he slid down.

************

Giles sat holding Joyce. Willow was on a sofa across from them, and Xander was pacing quietly behind the sofa. They were all nervously awaiting the news from the doctor. He had said it would take close to 7 hours, and it had been nearly 6 and a half. Each minute counted, and they knew the longer she was under, the worse her chances were.

Joyce looked up at Giles, and kissed his cheek softly, then stood and left the room. Giles started to follow, and felt Xander’s hand hold him back.

“It’s her only daughter. Give her a few minutes, Giles. She just needs a break.”

************

The girl on the table before them lay wide open. Her skin was pulled back as the skilled surgeons hurried to finish suturing her back up. This was her only chance. If this one didn’t take, she wouldn’t live long enough to be placed back on the donor list. Poor thing, they all thought. She had grown to be quite a fond patient to them all, and they were all calling in as many prayers as they were able.

Where does my heart beat now, Chapter 1

Buffy rubbed her hand subconsciously over the scar on her chest as she walked down the stairs towards the living room. Her mother and step-father, Giles, were sitting in there waiting for her. She smiled as she saw them, and her hand dropped from her chest.

“Hey guys, waiting to offer me rides, money, and anything you can to get me to beg off riding my bike?” Giles had started to open his mouth, then closed it again. “What, surprised? Come on, every time I go to the doctors office, you offer all that. Doctor Michaels said that riding the bike is good for me, because it gives me the exercise I need, without over doing it. I promise, I’ll be careful, and I won’t talk to strangers, and I won’t let myself get to tired. Ok?”

Joyce exchanged a look with Giles, then looked back at Buffy and nodded. It had been nearly a year since the operation, and Buffy was doing great, but she had been so sick for so long, that worry for Buffy was ingrained in her every day thinking. She just couldn’t help it. It hurt letting go.

“Just… be careful, and call us after the appointment, so we know how it goes. Have fun with Willow at the mall, too.” Joyce smiled at Buffy, and Buffy smiled in relief, thanking her lucky stars that Joyce was finally easing up with the over protective parent bit. Giles stood and walked over to her, and handed her some money.

“Giles, it is not to worry. I don’t need any money.” She started to hand it back, but he shook his head with a smile.

“Buy yourself something nice today. If you’re going to be late, call.” Buffy nodded and waved to her parents, then left. Giles had been a part of her ‘family’ since she was little, and had taken the place of her absentee father in her heart many, many years ago.

************

William hurried to his truck, and left the house quickly. He was late, having slept in on accident. The night before had been another rough one, though they were coming less and less frequently now. William was finally getting his life back on track, though he wasn’t out living it, but rather becoming a bit of a shut in. He left home to work, and go eat, but he never went out with any of his friends anymore. Melanie had been after him to start dating, but he couldn’t bring himself to do that, not yet.

He arrived at the job site, and darted up the stairs to his make-shift office. Guys tried stopping him on the way, but he waved them off, and disappeared behind the shut door. A few moments later, his new foremen Xander Harris, knocked on the door.

“Yes?” Xander heard, and poked his head in.

“Boss, I need to go over the latest revision of the plans. There are some things that don’t add up here.” He laid the plans out on the table beside William. They looked over the plans, and made the necessary changes to them.

Xander looked over as his boss rubbed his closed eyes, and sighed softly.

“Long night, boss?”

“You have no idea…” William opened his red eyes and looked at Xander for a moment.

“Hey, me and a couple of the guys are going out tomorrow night. We all would like to see you getting on with your life. I mean, we know what happened and all, but Will, it’s time you started going out. Not on a date or anything, but as friends. Come on, what do you say? I’m not gonna take no as an answer.” Xander gave him his friend Willow’s resolve face.

William sighed and rubbed his face, then threw his arms up in defeat. “Sure, why not. Nothing big, though. I know you were waiting to plan this, so keep it small, alright? Maybe dinner or something.”

Xander nodded with a wide grin on his face. “By the way, rules are rules, you were late. Whatcha buying us for lunch?”

“Pizza, now bugger off.”

Xander nodded to his buddy, and walked out of the office. He looked at all the guys around and then gave them all the thumbs up. A loud cheer rose through out the workers. William heard the cheer, and buried his face into the mountain of work sitting in front of him. What the hell had he gotten himself into, he wondered.

************

Buffy sat through her exam quietly, and towards the end, her doctor asked how she had been feeling. She took in a deep breath, and looked at Dr. Michaels.

“I’ve been feeling good, you know. I mean, every once in a while, I feel a bit down, I guess, but I shouldn’t. I don’t feel like I should have down days. I mean, I’m alive, and that’s better then I ever thought I would be by now. But, still, I just get down once in a while. It bothers me sometimes that I know someone died so I could live. Well, not so I could live, but I wouldn’t have been able to live if that person had lived. It puts things in perspective.”

"Well, we all have our days.”

“I should just shut up and be happy.”

The doctor was busy writing in his notes, and nodded slightly, then turned to look at Buffy. “Well, don’t worry to much, Buffy. Things like that are normal. I’m sure once you start getting out more, things will be better.” He smiled and shook her hand, then headed out of the room.

“Tell your folks I said hi.”

Buffy stared after him, then started to put her shirt back on, and slid off the table with a bit of a sigh. She was really hoping to kick this depression soon.

************

Willow headed down the stairs from the upper level of the mall, and aimed herself towards the food court. She was running a bit late, but Buffy usually ran a few minutes late herself. Willow was coming straight from work. She worked at a small boutique on the upper level that catered towards oddities. Crystal balls, mystical staves, and such, though none of it was real if you asked her.

Buffy looked up and saw Willow hurrying towards her, and waved. She was waiting near their favorite pizza place. As Willow drew closer, Buffy moved to step into line, and accidentally bumped into someone.

Looking up, she saw a smirking pair of bright blue eyes, and apologized, then turned back to Willow, who came up behind her. Buffy stopped for a moment as her heart hitched, and she just blinked.

“Are you alright?” Willow asked her seriously, scared for a moment.

“Yeah… I don’t know what it was, but it didn’t hurt.”

“Ok, well let’s get some food, and dish.”

************

The girls walked through the parking lot, towards the bike rack. Willow had ridden her sisters bike in to work that morning specifically because she knew Buffy was coming over later. As they walked, they passed a mail box, and Buffy stopped, then walked towards it. As she walked, she pulled a well worn envelope from her purse, and touched the lettering on the front lightly.

“Mail it. You’ll feel better, Buffy.” Willow walked up behind her, and laid a hand on her shoulder.

“I know, but I try, and I just can’t let the letter go. I can’t drop it.”

“Buffy, you didn’t sign a name. You didn’t give an address. It’s completely anonymous. They aren’t going to know who sent it, just like you don’t know who you are sending it to. They gave you the address so you could. Just do it.”

“Yeah, but… it just doesn’t seem like enough, you know? I mean, a thank you note for a heart? How do you phrase that? Gee, sorry about your loss, but thanks for the heart?”

“Buff… it’s been a year. I’m sure they’ve moved on, besides, your letter doesn’t sound like that. I’m sure they will like knowing that the heart they donated went to someone who really needed it.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Don’t you feel worse not sending it?”

“Well yeah, I mean, I always have it.”

"Then drop the letter in. Mail it, send it off, and be done with it. Move on, Buffy.” Buffy took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and dropped it in.

“There, you did it. I promise, you’ll feel better soon.” Willow clapped lightly, then gave Buffy a hug.

“Yeah, I know.”

************

William walked into the room full of suits. He went straight to the head guy, and bent down over the table to stare at him.

“Okay guys, here’s the deal. My wife wanted this building done years ago, so the way I see it, we’re already way behind schedule. First of all, you. Trees are what the kids need, not cement pillars and ground. All I’m asking, is for an additional 50 feet to build around existing trees for the play ground.”

“But we-”

“And if you don’t approve the land, I’m walking. I’m taking my men, and I’m walking, because I don’t need the work, and I’m certainly not here because of the money. I’m here for my wife. You got it?” He said all this patiently. He kept his anger in check, and made sure not to yell, but the guys in charge of the shelter knew he meant business.

The guy in front of him merely nodded quietly, and William walked out of the room.

Buffy walked towards the kitchen of the small club she worked at. Her parents co-owned the place with a friend of Giles’, and Buffy had been working there during the dinner hour since. At night, the placed opened up the basement level as a dance club, but during early afternoon and evening hours, they served food on the main level.

Buffy placed an order in, and went to gather the side dishes requested. She only serviced a small section of the restaurant to appease her parents, so she never had to worry about getting to busy. As she brought the salad’s to the table, she smiled, then walked away, sighing softly as she did.

In the back, her step-father was busy doing the books. While she had a moment, Buffy sat down beside him, and propped her legs up on an empty chair. He looked up and smiled.

“Ah, Buffy. How is it out there tonight?”

“It’s gonna get busy soon, I think. No worries, I can handle it.” She smiled at Giles and gave him a wink.

“Good, because your mother would shoot me if you got sick. She didn’t like having you take over for Julia on a Friday, you know.” She nodded, and heard the dinner bell ring.

“Well, that’s me.” She stood and waved to Giles before walking back to the kitchen to gather up her small trey of food.

************

William pulled into the parking lot on the side of the small building. He hadn’t ever been here, but when it had opened, he recalled that Dru had wanted to come. That had been nearly 2 years ago, and in the last year they had together, they had never gotten the chance to come.

“There’s a new restaurant down town that I want to go to, Will. The food’s supposed to be great, and they have a dance club in the basement that opens up when the restaurant closes at night. Let’s go sometime?”

William sighed as the memory drifted through his head, then he started the truck back up. Before he could leave, however, Xander spotted his truck, and came over. He slapped his hand against the drivers side window, and grinned at his boss inside it.

Shame faced at having been caught trying to back out, William shut the engine down, and climbed out.

“Not leaving already, are ya, Boss?”

“No, of course not. Show me to the food, so I can get home, would ya?” He clapped Xander on the back, and they walked towards the restaurant, Jasmine. A wooden sign stuck out from the front of the place with large white flowers carved into it.

“A friend of mine’s parents own the place, so I reserved a seat in her section.” He gave the ‘eyeball’ to William. Will caught it, and groaned, then stopped walking.

“You are bloody well NOT doing this as a set up, are you?”

“William, just go in, meet the guys, talk to the girl, and be a happy guy. This is not a set up. If you two hit it off, like I’m sure you will, then you can name your first born son after me. If not, then no big deal.” He dragged him in, and they found the large table the guys and their wives and girl friends had occupied.

He sat down, and looked at the menu placed in front of him by the hostess, then glanced at every one around him. He wasn’t sure he was ready for this, but went ahead anyway. As the people around him joked, the waitress came over and said hello to Xander before placing a glass of water near everyone. One girl, the catty girlfriend of one of his workers, looked at it with disdain.

As she opened her mouth to say something, William looked up and stared at the green eyes. “Do we… do we know each other?”

“Yeah… yeah, I think so… do you come in here often?”

“No, I’ve never been here before.” The catty girlfriend rolled her eyes, and muttered.

“Blah blah blah… I need a bottled water. Do you have bottled water?”

“Yeah, we do, anyone else want bottled?”

“I don’t want Swiss water. I got sick off Swiss water once.” She looked over at her boyfriend as she talked, but the words were obviously meant for Buffy. “As long as it’s not Swiss or tap water, it’ll be fine. Preferably French, no bubbles. I want it cold, no ice, in the bottle with a straw.” Buffy was looking at her with a comical expression of mirth on her face.

“Do you want to write this down? I don’t want Swiss-”

“No, I think I got it. No Swiss, no tap, no bubbles, no ice. Straw, cold, preferably French. I got it.” She smiled at Xander again, then her gaze met Williams as she started to walk away.

He grabbed her arm gently, and she leaned closer. “Can I get a coffee? Oh, and sorry…” He rolled his eyes towards the catty girl with the group. She smirked and nodded, then walked into the back room. As she left, Xander turned towards the girl in question, and practically glared at her. She had gone back to talking to Mike, the guy she was with, and was oblivious to everyone else. William’s cell started to ring, and he answered it. Smiling, he said hello to his mother, and waved to the other guys. Covering the mouth piece, he quietly told everyone he would be right back. He stood, and wandered towards the back of the place while talking to his mother for a moment.

Buffy asked the bartender for a bottle of water, and stood in the back drink area, and poured the bottle of water out down the sink. After it was empty, she started to fill it up from the tap. As she started filling it, she heard deep laughing, and turned around. Behind her was one of the guys with Xander. Mortified, she dropped the bottle, and shut off the tap water. She quickly started to gather up the requested drinks.

William stood there smiling as he talked. Finally, hanging up, he laughed a bit louder. “You don’t have to stop on my behalf. I don’t even know the chit, and I could care less if she drinks Swiss or French bubbly water.” With a wink, he walked back to the table.

Buffy thought for a moment, then picked the bottle back up, and finished filling it. She brought the trey out to the table. She sat the bottle down in front of the girl, and held her smirk at bay as she sat the rest down.

William watched her, and then turned towards the girl. “I bet that’s a lot more refreshing then the tap water, innit?” The girl nodded with a smile.

“You wouldn’t believe the difference.” Buffy coughed lightly, and took their order quickly, noting to herself that the special she called her favorite was the immediately William’s choice.

************

Later that night, Buffy was wiping down tables when she found a cell phone in the section where Xander and his group had been. She smiled and picked it up, secretly hoping that it was the guy with the blue eyes’ phone. She tucked it into the lost and found box, and went into the back. The night crew was starting already, clearing away the right tables, and opening up the gaming section, where pool tables and dart boards lined the room. The main room was closed down at night, with the main door locked. The door for the club was in the back, and led directly into the game room.

She took her apron off, and hung it on a peg in back. She was going to meet Willow in the basement later, but she reeked of heavy oiled foods. She went home with Giles, and got into the shower. She stopped in front of the mirror, and her hands fingered the scar on her chest. She dabbed her finger into some foundation, and she blotted it quickly.

She pulled on a tight top, and adjusted it, making sure it would cover the scar. She didn’t mind the scar itself, but it always came with questions, and that part she didn’t like. She didn’t like the looks of pity in everyone’s face. She slid into a short swingy black skirt, and walked back down stairs.

“Giles, I’m taking the car, ok?” Giles looked up from his paper, and nodded. “Keys on the table?” Giles nodded again.

"Have fun tonight, Buffy.” Buffy smiled and left.

Buffy walked down the stairs of the club, and glanced around. It had been nearly an hour since it had opened, but Buffy had dawdled. She knew Willow was looking to set her up with a friend of Oz, and she really wasn’t looking forward to it. Buffy was content looking on her own. At least this way, she didn’t have to worry about meeting someone totally objectionable. She had said Xander might try to make it out, and he had said the same before leaving the Jasmine earlier.

She stopped halfway down the stairs, and kept looking around. It gave her a better vantage point from here. After scanning the crowd, she spotted the red hair and a splotch of bright aqua hair. Oz, she thought with a smile. He never had the same hair color for more then a few days in a row. She hurried towards them, and slid into the booth they had.

“Buffy, you made it! Good, I was beginning to wonder!” Willow smiled at Buffy.

“Yeah, I went window shopping after getting done with work and showering. Just wanted some down time. Don’t worry, I’m here to party.”

************

Xander talked outside with William. After leaving Jasmine, the others had all gone home, but William stuck around with Xander. They had talked for quite a while, and when Xander mentioned that he was meeting his friends in the club in a bit, William’s interest was piqued. He had made the obligatory refusals, making it seem as though he didn’t want to go, but he was excited. He couldn’t wait to see Buffy again. Something about her had caught his attention immediately, and he couldn’t quite place way.

She was beautiful, that was a given, but he saw beautiful women all the time, and none had caught his interest like this one had. After talking a while longer, Xander and William walked around towards the back, and waited in the line formed behind The Basement, as the club was called. It had started out as Jasmine’s Basement, but most people knew it simply as The Basement, and so it had been changed.

As they stood around waiting, William wondered, for the 30th time, just what he was doing here. He wanted to see Buffy, but he also felt he was being disloyal to Dru, and that bugged him. He was just about to beg off and leave when the doors opened and they let people in. Xander tugged him down the stairs, and they found a large booth near the back.

It wasn’t long before Willow and her boyfriend Oz joined them. William kept watching the stairs for Buffy. Finally, a bit later, he decided it was time to go, and started to leave. Xander halted him, and told him to at least have a drink. He had been sitting there hardly socializing at all the whole time.

Xander talked him into grabbing a drink, and they headed upstairs to play pool. William’s back was to the door when Buffy finally arrived, which is why she made it down stairs without seeing him, or him seeing her.

Buffy looked around as she talked with Willow, then turned towards her and listened as Willow went on and on about Oz.

“Will, did Xander end up showing up, or did he bail?”

Willow stopped mid Oz-thought and nodded. “He’s upstairs with a friend, playing pool. Guy’s kind of cute, in a non-Oz kinda way.” Willow finished off with a blush, and Buffy chuckled softly.

“Drink, want one?” Buffy asked Willow. She figured she could go to the bar upstairs, talk to Xander, maybe flirt a bit… Come back with a drink, and she was all good.

“Yeah, bring me a diet coke?” Buffy nodded to Willow, and made her way through the thickening crowd towards the stairs leading up. She spotted Xander and William in the back corner of the room, right near the bar, but pretended not to notice them as she walked to the bar. She stopped at the bar, and smiled at her cousin, Wes. He served her quickly, and pointed behind her.

Buffy grabbed the two drinks, and turned towards where Wes pointed. Behind her, William was talking with Xander, but his gaze was settled on her petite form. She smiled and walked over to the two of them, and leaned up to give Xander a peck on the cheek.

“Hey Buff… you remember William from earlier?” William smirked and started to hold a hand out, but she held up the two drinks with a bit of a grin, so he let the hand drop to his side.

“Yeah, hey, I was wondering, if it’s not to much trouble luv, could you bring me a glass of imported Swiss water with lots of bubbles?” She burst out laughing, and he grinned. Good, she finds me funny. That’s a good thing, I think. God, he had been out of this game since… well, since forever, really.

Buffy grinned at him after she finally stopped laughing, and she sat both the wine cooler and the soda down on the edge of the table. “So, whatcha guys up to up here? All the fun’s down stairs. Besides, looks like you guys are at a tie. Whose what?” Xander grinned, and grabbed the two drinks, then settled them onto a nearby table. He handed his stick to Buffy, and pointed at the solids. William was pretty equal to Xander in talent for pool, or billiards as William called them. They had been stuck for a bit.

“Solids, eh? My turn?” Xander nodded at Buffy, and she leaned down after aiming her stick. With a smirk on her lips, she shot the cue ball out, and in one sweep, knocked two of the solids into the closest pockets. She moved around towards the other side, and William stepped back. She leaned down again, aiming her rear towards him, and quickly shot once more, this time narrowly missing the ball she wanted to sink. William’s eyes widened and he looked towards Xander, who was unsuccessfully trying to hide a smirk. Buffy pouted a bit, and stood back from the table as William went up to ‘bat’ so to speak.

“Bet you’ve never played before, either, right pet?” With a wink, he shot the cue ball, taking one of his own striped balls out. Buffy chuckled softly, and stood back further as William walked in front of her.

************

William laughed easily as he sat next to Buffy and Xander and their friends. He couldn’t remember how long it had been since he had laughed so easily, so truthfully. He had laughed over the last year, yes, but it had always seemed so forced, so uneasy to him. Like he didn’t have a reason to laugh. Here with Buffy, it was different.

Buffy pushed her hair back from her face as she leaned over the sketch pad in front of her. Soft flowers bordered a winding river with small children splashing around on the shore. She was taking colored pencils and filling it in now, giving it life, as she called it. Her mind was filled with piercing blue eyes, and an infectious smile. Her own face grinned in response as she pictured William in her mind.

Willow and Oz were sitting at their table together, watching Buffy in the living room, and sharing their own secret smiles. They had watched the two interacting the night before, and both hoped it would work out. Xander had talked briefly with Willow, telling her about William’s wife, and how William was little more then a shut in now. Observing him the night before, they wouldn’t have had a clue that he never went out any more.

“Buffy, come eat. Your parents will have my ass if you go home hungry, and you know it!” Buffy laughed softly as she looked up at Willow.

“Willow! My god, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”

“See? I’m a rebel.” Willow beamed proudly at first Buffy, then Oz.

************

William walked into the construction site after lunch, his arms laden with two-liter’s of soda, and a few bags of chips. He smiled and said hi to everyone he walked past, and the guys started exchanging looks among themselves. William was oblivious of the looks as he walked into his office. He sat the goodies down on the side table, and sat at his desk. There were several messages sitting on it, including one on top about his missing cell phone.

William had realized earlier that day that it was missing. Being a Saturday, his crew had tried to call him about the added hours, and how long they had to stay. William had ended up driving in after they finally got a hold of him, and he placed a call to Jasmine for his phone. The note said a girl had called back on it, and confirmed that there was indeed a phone there.

William was whistling later as he left the work site. He was one of the last to go, and ended up locking the gates around the shelter. Most of his crew wondered what was up, but Xander Harris had a feeling that William’s attention was on the petite blond friend of his.

************

Buffy sat at Willow’s place playing a board game with her and Oz. Not the most exciting of Saturday night ventures, but they had a long standing tradition of doing this every Saturday since the girls were 12. It was something they had kept up even after Buffy had gotten so sick she was in the hospital. Since they were 12, they had only missed 3 game nights, and that was all when Buffy was sick, and not up to the long games.

Tonight’s game was Life, with the revised rules the girls had. They had to do a dare every time they landed on specific squares, and truth’s on some of the other’s. Oz had started joining in on game night a few months back, and while it wasn’t his top choice at first, he had grown comfortable with it, and enjoyed spending the time with both girls. He loved Willow with all his heart, but at the same time, he loved Buffy like the sister he never had.

They were all laughing and having a wonderful time as the night wore on. Buffy admitted to having a bit of a crush on a certain someone from the club, Oz admitted that he wanted to ask Willow an important question, and Willow admitted she was nervous over said question. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t get oz to say what it was, though.

************

Buffy hopped out of the small coup of Willow’s, and waved as she headed into the restaurant. It was closed already, but she had been learning the books with Giles, and wanted to grab them for her to work on Sunday. She pulled her coat around her against the slightly chilly night, and went into the back office. She started to gather the books, knowing Willow was waiting for her.

************

William looked at himself appraisingly in the mirror, and critiqued himself. He hadn’t dressed up at all since the funeral last year. He brushed at his black dress slacks, and pulled at the deep maroon dress shirt he was wearing. He buttoned the top button, and looked at the mirror again.

Frowning, he undid the top button, and pulled at the collar to loosen it a tad. He stepped back and looked again, then smiled. That would do. He ran a hand through his slightly tousled hair, and grabbed his jacket off a hook near the door before leaving.

************

Buffy was sitting at the desk, and thought she could hear a loud knocking over the thumping music from The Basement. She looked up and saw the blonde standing at the kitchen door just beyond the office door. Blushing slightly, she looked down at her Saturday night clothes, and frowned. She smoothed her hands over her hair, and pulled the coat close to hide the scar that was plainly evident under it. Picking up the books, she went out of the dark room, and through the darkened kitchen, then opened the door.

“Hi, sorry to bother you, they let me in through the back. I left my phone here last night, you called about it?”

Buffy blinked for a moment, then recalled that she had returned a call earlier that day about a found cell phone. “Oh, right… it’s back behind the bar. I’ll go grab it for you.” Buffy hurried towards the bar, and took out the lost and found box. Quickly rummaging through it, she found the phone, and handed it to him.

“There you are. Good as new.” She blushed lightly again, and wondered briefly just where her conversation skills had gone to. William pocketed the phone, and watched her for a moment. He wanted to ask her to take a walk with him, but it had been so long since he had done anything like this, that he didn’t quite know how to broach the subject. They both just stared at each other for a moment, then both opened their mouths at once.

“Would you like to-” William said.

“Do you need anything-” Buffy said.

Buffy and William both broke off and started to laugh.

“You go-” They both started..

“-first.” William finished. Blushing, Buffy nodded.

“Do you need anything else while you’re here? I feel bad that you had to come all the way back. Xander could have brought it to you.”

“Oh, no worries, pet. I was in the neighborhood.” Buffy nodded, and pulled the lapels to her coat closer together and looked around the empty restaurant.

“You were going to say something…” Buffy’s soft voice trailed off.

“Ah, yes. I was going to ask if you… well, would you like to go for a walk with me?”

Buffy’s eyes widened as she looked at him. “Tonight? Now?” William started to laugh, and she noted that his laugh was deep and rich and clear.

“Well, yeah, unless you don’t want to?” His voice held question in it as his eyes held hers.

“No…”

“No, you don’t want to?”

“No, I want to. Let me just… My friend is waiting for me out front. Let me just send her on, and we can walk.” Buffy walked quickly towards the front door as her heart did flip flops in her chest. Her chest felt so tight, so funny, and she loved it. She had never felt love before, and Buffy was desperately hoping this was it.

Buffy practically ran to the small coup out front, and opened the door. Willow looked up from her magazine, and smiled. “All set?”

“Willow, I need like a HUGE favor… call my house, tell them I’m staying a bit later then normal, and just ran to the store with Oz. Tell them I’ll be back before midnight.”

“And just where WILL you be, Ms. Summers?” Willow had on her resolve face as she watched Buffy with appraising eyes.

“He’s here… he came for his phone, and he’s going to walk me home.” Buffy’s smile could have lit up the town at that moment, and Willow nodded, though she was apprehensive. She couldn’t help it. Buffy had been her friend since they were tiny, and they had been through everything together, including Buffy’s only relationship. It was a disaster of epic proportions, one which Willow wanted to protect Buffy from again.

“Be careful, Buff. You don’t know him, remember that. Oh! You didn’t shave recently, did you?” Buffy looked at her like she was crazy.

“Shave?”

“I’m telling you, it’s a girls only defense against… you know…” Buffy looked blankly at Willow for a moment. Willow’s voice was dropped to a whisper when she spoke again. “s-e-x.” Buffy started laughing.

”You know, maybe you ought to needlepoint that on a pillow…”

“I just might, don’t tempt me!” Finally, Willow just waved, and wished her luck, then drove off. Buffy turned around and saw William sitting on the wide front steps to Jasmine, waiting for her. She smiled and held her hand out towards him.

***TBC***

William smiled down at Buffy as he stood up, then he held out his arm to her like a proper gentleman, and wondered briefly just what he should do. He knew she liked him, and hell, it was plainly obvious to anyone with eyes that he liked her as well. He had a fleeting thought that Dru would have liked Buffy, and that made him smile.

Buffy’s heart fluttered nervously in her chest, and she made certain once more to pull the coat closed over the exposed scar. As they started to walk the short distance towards her house, she found herself relaxing and laughing. He was such a nice man, and had such a good sense of humor. Before long, however, they ended up at her porch.

“This is me…” Her soft voice trailed off as she looked up at the two story home on Revello Drive. He stopped next to her and looked up at the house at the same time as she did, then turned his gaze back to her upturned face.

“I was wondering if maybe you would like to go out some time next week? Nothing fancy or big, just dinner and talking.” Her face turned towards him, and his eyes lit on hers. She smiled shyly, and nodded her head slowly.

“I would like that very much, William.”

“Good, now I don’t have to worry about that whole rejection part.” His eyes twinkled with humor as he laughingly smirked down at her. She stood there quietly for a moment, her eyes looking into his.

“I should go in, they’ll be expecting me soon…” Her soft voice trailed off, but she made no move to go, but rather, stood still.

“Yeah, you should…” He whispered softly as his face came nearer to hers.

Her face turned up just a bit more as she looked into his eyes. “Yeah… I should…” She whispered softly as his lips met hers. Soft and tentative at first, his lips danced gently against hers. She held back her gasp of surprise and pleasure and leaned towards him some more, effectively pressing her lips stronger against his.

William started to put his arms around her, but he stopped himself, and let them rest against her forearms. After barely a moment together, he pulled back slowly and smiled down at her as her eyes adjusted to his.

Buffy’s heart started at the first touch of his lips, and it silently cried when they were suddenly gone. She looked up at him with wide eyes, wondering why he had stopped so quickly.

“Amazing…” he whispered as his arms rubbed against her coat sleeves.

“Yeah…” She responded as she watched his eyes darken from a pale ice blue to a bright blue color.

“I… I should be going. I’ll give you a ring later this week to set up a day.” William let his arms drop from hers and he stepped back one step from her.

“Yeah… that would be great. I’ll… I’ll talk to you later, then, I suppose?”

William nodded, then reached forward and tugged at Buffy’s hand. She smiled as he brought her hand towards his mouth and placed a soft warm kiss on the back of it. Buffy felt herself blushing as he stepped away, then turned and walked down the street towards the club.

************

“He kissed your hand? Oh, that’s so sweet!” Willow’s voice breathed out. She had a dreamy far away look to her face as she listened to Buffy talk on the other end of the phone.

“And, he’s going to call alter this week, and we’re going to go out on a date!” Buffy’s voice was a tad on the breathless side as she talked to Willow. It had only been moments since she had watched William walk down the street, and out of her site. He had turned and looked back at her several times, each time stopping to watch her for a moment.

“Well, I’m glad he sees what the rest of us see. Now, I’d better let you go before Giles or your mom freaks out and yells at me over a late night phone call. I’ll see you tomorrow sweetie. Bye”

“Talk to you later, bye.” They both hung up the phone. Willow looked at Oz with a dreamy expression, while Buffy closed her eyes and snuggled into bed with a matching, though more far away, look on her own face.

************

“Mel, she’s wonderful. I don’t know what I’m doing, but I can’t stop. She is just so beautiful, and full of life, and… she’s Buffy.” He sounded happy to Melanie over the phone, but his voice had saddened just a bit towards the end. “I miss her, Mel, but I think I’m finally moving on with my life.”

“It’s what she would have wanted, Will. Now, tell me about this… Buffy? What kind of a name is that?” William’s laugh filled the phone, and she smiled, for she had been able to get his mind off the mopey. She loved Dru and missed her, but it was long past time for William to move on to the living.

“It’s her name, I don’t know what kind it is, it just is.” This time, it was her laugh that filled the phone. “She has blonde hair, and she’s so tiny. Her eyes are big, and have so many colors in them. I think that if I were to study them for a year, I still wouldn’t know all of the colors.” He sighed softly as he closed his eyes. He was laying in his bed, lounging in a pair of flannel pajama bottoms. His hard chest shined lightly in the dim light. He put his forearm to his forehead for a moment as he remembered her.

“Mel, I think I could fall for her. It’d be so easy.”

“Well, I’m happy for you, but Will? Take it slow… it’s been a while for you, and I don’t want you to rush into anything, you know? I just worry about you, don’t mind me.”

“I know, I know. Don’t worry Mel, I won’t rush into anything.” They quietly talked for a bit longer, and hung up. William lay looking out the window for a moment, his eyes unfocused as he thought about Buffy.

“Cor, what am I going to do?” He asked the empty room. He stopped and looked at the picture of Dru that he kept near the bed. It had been taken that night, and she had looked so beautiful to him. Her smile was radiant as she looked into the camera some unknown person held. He wasn’t in the photo, so he didn’t know who took it. It was at the funeral home after… afterwards.

“What do you think, Dru? I think you would have liked her. She’s nice… sweet.”

************

William sat at his desk when a stack of mail got brought in. Flipping through it quickly, his eyes were caught by a dog-eared letter that had stamps of re-routing all over it. What caught his eye, however, was that it was addressed to Heart Donor, rather then a name. His breath caught, and his heart gave a hitch as he opened it.

He quietly read through the letter, then folded the heart warming words back up, and placed it in his jacket pocket. He quickly brushed away at the tears that had gathered in his eyes. He had never really expected to hear from any of the donors, but he knew it was a possibility since he had agreed to the release of his work address. Since he moved back and forth for work, though, it had somehow managed to bounce along.

The girl who had Dru’s heart told him about how lucky she was, but also how sorry she was that she had gotten the donor because a person had died. She wished him happiness, or rather, she wished the family happiness. He was Dru’s family, though, her only real family.

He took the letter out and read it quickly one more time, then put it away, and took the rest of the afternoon off.

Chapter Six

Buffy was at work when he called the next day. Giggling excitedly, the hostess came and grabbed her from the back room, and pulled her to the phone.

”What is going on, Sandra?”

“Urgent phone call for you!” Her voice did indeed sound urgent, however, it lacked the seriousness that most urgent phone calls would entail. Looking in question at Sandra, she picked up the phone.

“Hello, this is Buffy, how may I help you?”

“Buffy… its Will.” Buffy turned to look at Sandra with a smile, and Sandra winked before slinking away.

“You called! I mean… Hi Will… How are you today?” Buffy smacked her free hand against her forehead silently at the start of the sentence, cursing her self for having chronic foot in mouth syndrome.

Will started to laugh softly, and then smiled as he pictured her on the other end. Was she wearing her hair up? Down? Was she smiling like he was? The price he would pay for those answers would have been a fortune. “Course I called. What did you expect?”

“I… think I’m going to avoid that question. If you don’t mind, that is.”

“So, I was wondering… I took the day off, and I can’t think of a thing to do all day. I was hoping maybe you would get out soon, and we could go do something.”

Buffy tugged nervously at her lower lip as she listened. Her smile was huge and infectious so those who saw it. Before long, she realized she had half the staff standing around watching her. Buffy quickly peered over her shoulder at the assembled staff, then said loudly, “I think I can manage to leave today. There seems to be an abundance of workers, and not enough work to go around.”

Several workers groaned, but most were excited for their young boss. Buffy had been a manager at the restaurant for about 6 months, but she still filled in where ever she could, including taking weekly waitress slots. Today was an off day for waitressing, so she wasn’t too worried about taking the day off.

“Great. Pick you up in 20 minutes there?”

Buffy looked down at her outfit, and nearly groaned out loud. “Actually, if you don’t mind… I would kind of like to get something to change into first.”

“No problem. I’ll tell you what, you sit tight, and after I pick you up, we can swing by your place to let you change.” Williams voice was smooth and sleek, not giving away any of the nerves he was feeling at the moment.

“Sounds… fine. I’ll see you soon, then.”

************

William arrived not ten minutes later, and escorted Buffy to his truck. In the middle of the seat, there was a large picnic basket. Buffy raised her eyes and looked at William.

“When did you have time for all this?”

“Well, I may have jumped the gun just a tad. I had ordered it before I called you. Swung by to pick it up after I got off the phone with you. A picnic’s alright, isn’t it? Cause we could go out for dinner if you would rather?”

Buffy shook her head even as she laughed softly at his presumption. “No, I would love a picnic. It’s been… well, years since I’ve been on one. Where are we going?”

“Now that, love, is a surprise.” He quickly drove to Buffy’s house and got out of the truck with her when they got there. She showed him in, and was happy to see her mother was home.

“Mom, this is William. William, this is my mother, Joyce. And… I’m going to leave you two alone while I change.”

“Wear something cool, it’ll be warm where we are going, pet.” Joyce heard the endearment and merely raised an eyebrow while storing the information in her head for later. Buffy nodded, and bounded up the stairs while wondering what shirt she would be able to wear that didn’t show off to much.

William watched Buffy go up the stairs, then turned toward Joyce with a hesitant smile on his face.

“So, William, what do you do?”

“I own Nieson Construction, actually, but I am starting to get into architecture. I love both aspects of making a building. Designing it, then building it. What about you?”

“Well, Rupert, my husband, and I own half of Jasmine and The Basement, but I also own and run an art gallery downtown.” They got to talking about the gallery, and it came up briefly that Dru used to go by there and look at the art available, though they had never found anything they wanted to purchase outright. Dru had always said it was better to let many people admire art, rather then to horde it away.

************

Buffy was quickly digging through a stack of shirts she had laid out on the bed, and trying the ones on that she thought would be high enough on top to hide the long scar. She finally found a tank top in a bright lime green with a fairly high neck, then added a semi-sheer green scarf around her neck. She had a whole collection of scarves since the operation. She pulled on black jean shorts and slid her feet into a pair of sandals, and hurried back down the stairs.

“I’m ready!” She smiled as she saw her mother and William talking business stuff. “Guys, Buffy here…” She stopped then stepped further into the room. “Alright, funny stuff guys. I’m ready William.” William looked up and smiled at her.

“And you look lovely, pet.” He stood, and they quickly said their good-byes before leaving. William glanced sideways at the scarf for a moment, wondering why she would have one tied around her neck in the heat of summer, but he didn’t mention it.

“So, pet, ready then for some fun?” He winked playfully as he turned towards her, then focused on the road as he pulled out.

“Ready, willing, and… there’s a third word, isn’t there?” She looked puzzled when he glanced over at her, and he couldn’t help but grin.

“Waiting I believe.”

“Yeah, ok, ready, willing, and waiting… Hmm, not sure that sounds right either, but it works.”

William set about placing the blanket on the ground, and Buffy started to pick through the basket, bringing the foods out one at a time, until she encountered a bottle of merlot. Hiding a bit of a smile, she set it out on the ground next to the food, and wasn’t at all surprised to find a small bundle wrapped on the bottom in a very crisp set of white linen napkins.

Buffy carefully took the napkin from the glasses and placed them on the ground as well. William looked up and winked at her, then went back to making certain the blanket was straight. He stood up, and then circled the blanket for a moment, acting for all the world to see like an architect, or a construction worker.

Buffy tried hard to keep a straight face, but finally, it was too much, and a soft giggle escaped. He stopped and looked up at her, his face looking very much as a deer would, were it caught by a car at night. Buffy’s eyes had become like the well toted saying, headlights to his deer eyes. They caught him, and held him, and finally, he relaxed and his face broke out into a sheepish grin.

“Yeah, I know, it’s fine. But…. Don’t you ever want better then fine? I do…”

“Well, yeah, of course I do, just… well, what does a blanket have to do with this?” She looked confused as she tried to figure it out for herself.

“Just… this… I haven’t been on a date like this since high school, and I’m absolutely certain that I have forgotten every little detail that has to do with it all.”

“Just feel” Buffy said quietly to him.

“Just feel?” He asked her, keeping his voice quiet for a moment. Before she answered, however, he was already contemplating what he was saying, and he felt that she was on the right track.

“Yes, just feel. Do what you feel, and you won’t mess up.” She smiled as she set the plates out, digging into the food quickly, and serving up heaping spoonfuls to both of them. “My grandfather on my mothers side always used to say that.” Buffy handed William a plate filled with food, and smiled at him.

“Smart chap, your grandfather.”

“Yeah, he was.” Her smile turned wistful as she thought of her grandfather. She fingered the skin under the scarf for a moment, then smiled cheerfully back up at William.

“I… I need to talk to you about something, William. Not tonight, but… maybe soon? Tomorrow night?”

“Yeah, sure, that’d be fine. Where do you want to talk at?”

“I was thinking here would be a nice place. I mean, I would now, but I… I need to ready myself. Don’t worry, though, it’s not bad. At least… I don’t think it is.” She wrinkled her nose as she thought about it, then blinked and smiled at William.

“Well, I can wait for a day, I believe.” William settled back to eat the delicious food sat before him, and watched her from the drooped heavy looking lids covering his eyes. “Now, eat up. I want you to put some meat on those bones, girl. Far to skinny as you are right now.” He finished it with a wink to let her know that he was just kidding, but even as he did, he eyed the places emptying on her plate, and filled them again.

************

Later that night, Buffy and William sat nestled close to each other as they watched the fairly mundane movie they had found on the television sat in front of them. It had started to rain on the picnic, and the two ended up finishing it next to his fireplace in his den. She had wiggled her shoeless foot towards him, while he threatened to eat all of the cheesecake so thoughtfully slipped into the basket.

They were talking easily with each other, their soft voices barely penetrating the warm air around them. William talked with Buffy about everything, though he dodged the subject of Drusilla as much as possible. She learned about his passion for old books, and he learned of her love of French foods. He heard all about her lack of dating while she was in high school, and she learned that he had dated Drusilla first, and went straight to marriage from there.

After a bit, William disappeared into the kitchen to make them some popcorn. As she sat listening to the protesting beeps of the microwave, Buffy held a laugh in. “Are you sure you don’t need help in there?”

William frowned as the microwave beeped at him yet again. He reached I and took the plastic covered bag out, and took the outer bag off of it, growling at the burning sensation in his finger tips. “No, I think I can handle microwave popcorn on my own, love.” He read the rest of the instructions on the paper bag, and placed it in the microwave.

Buffy smiled at him as he came out. Her left hand was idly playing with her scarf when he sat down. “William… I have something I need to tell you…” She looked at him for a moment, and tugged at her lower lip with her teeth. He smiled and leaned in, catching the lip between his own, and kissing her deeply. She started to sigh and lean into the kiss just before he moved his mouth down her jaw towards her neck. He pulled back quickly to ask her what it was she wanted to say.

“It’s important… and…” She stopped to sigh as her eyes drifted shut. “Now would be…” Good lord, if this is the kissing, what does the rest feel like? Buffy asked herself. Her eyes started to open as William’s lips reached her collarbone. She was about to pull away when the microwave beeped.

“Popcorn!” She blurted out loudly. William pulled back and looked at her with slightly dazed, and more then a little confused, eyes. “You need to talk to me about popcorn?”

“Noo… the popcorn’s done, William.” She laughed softly, trying to cover her nervousness. William nodded and hurried towards the kitchen. As he pulled a slightly smoking black bag from the microwave, he hollered over his shoulder towards the living room. “I have a new DVD up in my study, pet. Wanna go grab it for me? It’s on my desk up there.”

Buffy stood and straightened her clothes, then pulled quickly at the scarf, tossing it into her purse. “Yeah, I can do that.” She hurried up the steps towards his small study, and glanced into the kitchen. William’s back was to her, and he was holding a smoldering bag of mess. The smell of burnt popcorn filled the air, and she tried to hold her laugh in as he tossed the bag into the oven to hide. She held still as he grabbed a bottle of Windex and sprayed the air down.

Shaking her head, Buffy finished her way up the stairs, and crossed over towards the study. Sitting on the desk was indeed a new DVD, one she had mentioned that she liked. Smiling brightly, she grabbed it, and was about to turn to leave the room when a faded dog eared envelope caught her eye. With a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, Buffy pulled it out from a stack of papers.

Her hand shaking, she dropped the letter to the ground next to the DVD and ran from the room. She scampered down the stairs quickly, and grabbed her bag. She had the door open and was halfway out the door when William caught her by the arm.

“Buffy, what’s wrong?” He looked at her with dark blue eyes that showed his concern.

“I..I…I forgot, I need to.. I have to cover a shift tonight, and I have to go. I have to go now. I need to go.”

“Relax, sweet. I’ll drive you.” Buffy stopped and turned towards William. Her eyes were widely rounded, as though she had been caught doing something wrong. She wanted to refuse, but her bike was at the restaurant still.

“We need to hurry, though. I need to be there soon, cause they’ll wonder where I am, and I need to go. Please, can we just go?” She blinked her eyes rapidly, praying that the tears burning her eyes wouldn’t fall, not in front of the man she had fallen in love with. He grabbed his keys, and they were soon on the road.

“Buffy… love… are you sure you’re alright?” Buffy nodded as she stared out the window. Once they pulled up, she slid quickly from his truck, shaking her head at him when he made the move to do the same. “Noo, stay! I really have to get to work! I’ll talk to you later.”

“Wait! Didn’t you have something you wanted to talk about?”

“It’s not… It’s not important.” She slammed the door and hurried into the restaurant. Buffy blindly made her way past the workers, and shut herself into the back office. The tears that had been threatening started to drip down, and great wracking sobs ripped their way through her chest. She leaned against the door, and as the tears fell, her body slid down the door until she was scrunched up on the floor, her face buried in her arms.

Outside the door, the few employees near by heard their young managers sobs, and exchanged a look. One of the more bold workers made her way to the phone and called Buffy’s friend Willow. They made sure at least one person was standing near the door while they waited on Willow.

Ten minutes later, Willow came tearing through the room, and into the back. She glanced at everyone, and shooed them off before opening the door carefully. By then, Buffy had curled herself up in the giant desk chair Giles had insisted on having. Her head was buried in her arms, which were resting on the desk.

“Buffy?” Willow’s voice was timid and frightened. Buffy looked up, and Willow gasped. Her face was tear stained, her eyes blood shot, and the skin around her eyes was all puffy. Her cheeks were flushed bright red from the emotional outburst. She went over to her quickly, and without asking any questions, her arms wrapped around Buffy.

Buffy sat quietly in her room, her thoughts skittering into each other, colliding to cause great confusion in her mind. Her eyes were red and puffy, evidence of her night still there. It did not take much and she was crying again, sobbing at the hopeless feeling in her stomach. She missed him already. He had called several times already, but she had her mother tell him she was out shopping.

It hurt having to avoid him like this, but it hurt thinking about the whole thing, as well. She was lost, so lost that she was scared she might never find her way again. What would happen then? How could the fates be so cruel as to do this to her, to him… to them? Her faith in life shaken by the letter she had

Buffy gathered her arms around her thin legs and rested her forehead against her knees. She was still sitting there nearly twenty minutes later when her mother knocked on her door.

“Buffy, sweetheart? I… you have a visitor.” Her mother’s voice was quite, soothing her ravaged nerves. She looked up, and Joyce flinched at the red puffy eyes, and purple bags sagging under them. She walked over and hugged Buffy, holding her tight to her. “Honey, I wish I could help you through this, but I can’t. You just have to find a way past the pain.” Joyce kept her voice soft as she talked to Buffy, soothing her as best she could.

Now, I am going to go grab a cold washcloth, and I want you to dry your eyes. William is waiting down stairs, and I told him you were in the shower. He is waiting until you come down, though, so we need to fix that face up some.” Joyce stood and crossed to the bathroom, retrieving the washcloth.

Buffy could feel her adrenaline kicking in, her nerves worn beyond help at that point. He was downstairs right that moment, waiting for her. What would she say? What could she do? She grabbed an outfit from the closet, and quickly got dressed. She did not pay attention to the shirt at all, which ended up having a scoop neck. The scar poked up over the top of it, and she dabbed at it with makeup, hoping to cover as much as possible.

Between Joyce and Buffy, they fixed her face up decently. The cool cloth eased the burning red eyes, and the puffiness went down a lot. Makeup served to hide the redness and the bags. Taking a deep breath, Buffy looked at her mother, and then walked quietly down the stairs.

William was waiting in the living room, his elbows resting on his knees as his head hung down. He heard her soft steps, and looked up as she was entering the room. He quickly stood and closed the distance between the two of them.

“Buffy! I have been so worried… Why didn’t you call me back?”

“William… I think… Can we go outside? I need to talk to you still.” William felt a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach as he nodded, and walked towards the front door. They soon found themselves on the porch swing.

Buffy opened her mouth, only to shut it again. She didn’t know how to start, but she knew she had to start.

“I … last year, I had an operation, and-”

“An operation? Are you all right? Is everything ok?”

“Please… just let me finish before you say anything. Please?” William nodded, and Buffy continued. “I had an operation because I needed a new heart. William… I found a letter in your study last night. That’s me. I wrote that letter, only I didn’t know… you have to believe me, I didn’t know!” Her tears had started up again as she watched the recognition dawn on William’s face. He pulled back slightly as his eyes dropped.

“Dru…” he said softly.

Buffy just nodded and wiped quickly at the tears. “I didn’t know…”

“I… I have to go. I can’t be here right now. I have to go.” William looked at her once more, his eyes taking hers in, and then he stood, and was gone. Buffy held her hands over her eyes as the tears dripped down her face and onto her exposed scar. Her heart was broken again, only this time, surgery would not fix it, she knew.

************

William drove quickly, heading towards the work site. He screeched to a stop, and got out. Stumbling, he found his way to the recently added plaque in the main hall. The shelter was almost complete, and a plaque was added in his wife’s memory. Her picture etched into it, a picture taken the night her heart had been given away.

He felt his knees give, and he crumpled against the floor. William was sobbing, sobbing for his lost love, and his found love. How did something so cruel happen? How was it that he chose the same heart to love? He lay there for nearly an hour, bemoaning his lost love, and cursing his new.

************

Willow stood in the door to Buffy’s room as Buffy hurried around, throwing clothes into an open trunk on the floor. “Buff, are you sure?”

“Yes, I need out. I cannot stay here waiting for the call he is not going to make! I need to get out of this town.” It had been almost a week, and none of them had seen or heard from William, except Xander. Xander had told them both he would keep what they said in confidence, but neither was talking. William studiously ignored the entire situation when he was at work, but his nights were spent with a cheap bottle of whiskey, and a picture of Drusilla.

Buffy’s days were spent hiding away, or working, but the light in her eyes was gone. Two nights ago, her mother asked if she wanted to go to an art camp in New York for the summer. Buffy had jumped on the chance, and here she was now, packing to leave for 6 weeks. It was her deepest hope that everything would be long forgotten when she returned.

Her canvases were all packed, and waiting by the door. The plane would be leaving in 3 hours, and Buffy was nervous. It was her first plane ride at all, because she had always been too sick to travel before. Her doctors had all given the go ahead, and so was off.

Finally, she was packed, and ready to leave. Willow was going to drive her to the airport, so she said a tearful goodbye to her mother and Giles, and they left.

William growled as he tossed the empty bottle down on the ground. He had not been able to find any new bottles in the house, and it was frustrating him. In the past few weeks, he had come to depend on the alcohol to numb his pain, and without it, the pain was nearly unbearable. His whole being hurt and he knew that Buffy could end it for him, but it hurt knowing that she was also a part of Drusilla.

There had been a time when he had jokingly told her he loved her entire being, eyeballs to entrails, and as sick as it sounded, he did. He loved every little piece of her. He had gladly signed the donor release form, knowing that even in death, Dru would be happy to be helping someone.

He just had not expected it to come back and haunt him as it did. And it did haunt him, every night for 2 weeks it had come to tear at his dreams, and invade his mind. His voice of reason was beyond reason, and it hurt.

The phone rang, startling him out of his reverie. He growled as he answered it. “Yeah?”

“W-William?” The voice was soft, and for a moment, he pretended it was Buffy, calling for him to come save her, but it was not Buffy.

“Willow?”

“Yeah… William, I do not know what is going on with you, and right now, I do not care. All I know is that you broke her heart, and only you can fix it. She is leaving tonight, you know. She won’t be here anymore, she’ll be gone.” Before he could say anything to the angry burst Willow set forth, she hung up, and left the house to take Buffy to the airport.

William was in shock, and it took him a few minutes to gather his senses. He ran towards the door, but stopped short at the face staring back at him. It was gaunt, pale, and had a slight yellowish tinge to it. Glaring at it, he turned back and took a quick shower. He pulled on fresh clothes, and left.

Moments later, he pulled to a stop in front of Buffy’s house, and ran up to the front steps. He forewent being polite, and pounded on the door. A rather startled Giles answered the door. “What is the… William?” William pushed past him, his frantic eyes searching the house.

“Where is she? Where’d she go?”

“Look, I don’t think she wants to talk to you right this moment, but it wouldn’t matter, because she’s on an airplane right now, leaving this town, and you, behind. She needs to heal, and you weren’t letting her do it.”

“Oh, God… I need to find her. Please help me?”

Giles took in a deep breath, and looked at the young man. “She’s been here crying for 2 weeks. Why did you not help her then? You could have, you know. She wanted that.”

“I was hurting to, but now… I know. I need to find her.” His eyes pleaded with Giles. Giles crossed his arms over his chest as he looked down at William.

“And just what is it you know.”

“I loved my wife, but… I ache for Buffy. Please… Tell me where she is?” His voice softened as he looked into the older man’s eyes. Giles’ finally melted and nodded to him.

************

Willow was antsy. She kept looking over her shoulder as they waited for Buffy’s plane to begin boarding. It would be starting in 15 minutes, and they still sat here alone. She had hoped William would snap out of it, and find her, but it was looking increasingly like he was not going to. Willow frowned and started talking to Buffy. Ten more minutes to go, she thought.

************

William was riding towards the airport with Giles. He had been trying to get Willow’s cell phone for the last 5 minutes, but no one was picking up. Disgusted with the modern invention, he threw it to the ground as Giles pulled up in the red zone of the airport. William was out the door as the car rolled to a stop, and he ran through the front doors.

He stopped briefly to scan the lists of flights heading out, and found hers. Just as he found it, he heard the flight announced over the PA, letting everyone know that it would be boarding soon. He glanced at signs and gathered his bearings before darting off towards the left wing of the airport. He was running quickly, dodging people as he passed.

He finally found the correct path, but was held up at the security checkpoint. The damned annoying buzz of the metal detector kept going off now matter what he did and they finally had to run a hand held over him. Finally, they found that it was his belt buckle that was setting it off.

William took off running again, and darted past gates. The one he needed was near the end of the wing, and now, it looked to be 5 miles long. Another announcement came, decreeing that the flight was now boarding. William came to a stop in the right spot, and when he found her blond head, it was just passing through the doors to the boarding ramp.

“Buffy!” Both Buffy and Willow’s heads snapped around at the sound, and when she saw him, Buffy dropped her carry on, and ran towards him.

“You came, you came for me!” Her voice was shaky as she talked to him, and his arms pulled her possessively towards his chest. Her body was overly thin, as though she had not been eating in the past two weeks. She clung to his shirt as he held her close.

“Oh, Buffy… I’ve missed you so much… I don’t ever want to lose you again.”

“You won’t, William. You won’t.”

Buffy looked up from her place in the kitchen and glanced out the window of her new home. The backyard was large, with a white fence keeping it private. There was a pool off to one side, and an enclosed hot tub to the other. In time, Buffy hoped to fill that yard with children, but right now, all she wanted was to have everything unpacked.

William had sold his house as they completed this one, neither of them wanting to live with his old memories. He still held them dear to him, but they were his past, and she was his future. William had designed the house years ago, and had planned to build it for Drusilla one day. That day had never come, and so he had stopped hoping for it.

However, Buffy changed that for him. He helped her to see her worth in the world, and she helped him to feel loved again. Buffy helped him change a few small things to the floor plan, truly making it theirs as she did. They had a small bedroom adjoining their own for when their first baby arrived, which would be in just a few short months.

They had both been hesitant at first, but Buffy’s doctor assured her that with minimal extra care, she would be able to go through a healthy pregnancy. She was hoping for a little boy with his father’s eyes and cheeks, and he was hoping for a little girl with his mother’s smile and nose. The nursery was already set up, done with all white furniture. The only thing left to put in it was the decorations, and they had decided to wait until they knew to do that.

Buffy felt William’s arms go around her belly, and his chin rest on her shoulder. “I love you, Buffy.” “And I love you, William.”

They had each chosen one name for a boy and one for a girl, and they were planning to put the two names together to form the child’s name. Buffy had picked Michael for a boy and Drusilla for a girl, and though William was excited by the choice, he told her she did not have to do that, but she wanted to. If not for Drusilla, neither would be together today, and they both knew that deeply, in their hearts. William’s chosen names were Jonathan and Renae, after his own parents. And they were happy together.