Chapter Sixty Nine.

Gotta Have Faith.


On Friday evening, Faith was surprised to see Luke on her doorstep, unannounced yet again.


Luke had timed his arrival to coincide with her client and waited for her to explode, but he was mildly surprised when she merely told him if he wanted her to get rid of her customer then he could do it himself. Half smiling, Luke watched her flounce back into the sitting room and throw herself onto the couch in a huff.


It was at that point Luke made up his mind he would bring her back to the mansion. Originally, he’d intended to spend the weekend with her at her apartment.


He headed straight for her bedroom and started hunting for a suitable bag to pack enough clothes for her stay. Faith hearing him banging around in her bedroom, rushed to see what he was doing. At first, she thought he was looking for something…another gun…maybe, then she saw the carry-all sitting on the bed and realized he was pulling clothes out of her closet and drawers in a manner that indicated he was packing. A bolt of fear hit her.


“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Faith demanded.


“What does it look like I’m doing?” Luke replied.


“Well it looks like you’re packing my shit in a large carry-all,” she snapped. Marching over to the bag on the bed, she started pulling the clothes back out.


Luke turned from the closet. “Put that back…NOW,” he barked.


Faith’s hands froze at his angry tone, her fingers curled around a pair of jeans. “What’s going on Luke? I’ve got a guy arriving at any minute. I haven’t got time to deal with this shit, so tell me what’s going on?”


“No you haven’t.”


“What?”


“I cancelled your client.”


“What?”


“You heard me.”


“Okay, you cancelled him, but that doesn’t explain why you’re packing my stuff.”


“I’d have thought it was obvious. I’m taking you somewhere.”


“Okay, this is getting ridiculous, where are you taking me?”


“The mansion…do you need any more stuff than this? ‘Cause if you do, grab it now, and don’t forget anything you might need from the bathroom.”


Dropping the jeans back on the bed, Faith turned around and walked out the door, quickly heading for the sitting room.


Luke sighed, but decided to finish her packing before following her. He didn’t have a clue what underwear or toiletries he should take, but figured if she was stuck for anything it would be her own fault. Besides, he didn’t mind if she went without underwear…she would probably look good in his boxers.


He left the packed bag by the front door and went to find Faith. She was sitting on the couch with her feet curled up underneath her. She was reading a magazine and there was a large scotch, sitting on the coffee table in front of her. She didn’t even glance up at him. He stood in the doorway.


“I’m not going to argue with you about this so just get your coat and let’s go,” Luke said.


Still reading her magazine Faith replied, “No.”


“I said I’m not going to argue with you…now get your coat.”


“And I said no.”


Luke scanned the coat rack in the hallway and grabbed the first one that looked suitable. Marching over to Faith, he hauled her off the couch and shoved the coat into her arms. “Put your shoes on, we’re leaving now and if you give me any more lip, I’ll just slug you and take you unconscious,” he snapped, giving her a rough shake.


“What! It’s not enough that Spike’s keeping Buffy against her will, now you’ve got to do the same to me?” She struggled in his grip.


“Something like that…now what’s it to be Faith, are you going to come quietly or do I have to get rough? Because you know I can, and you know I will.” He kept a tight grip of her arm just in case she put up a fight.


Faith didn’t think he was going to back down, and she really didn’t want him slapping her around. “Okay, okay I’ll come,” she snapped. “God damn men, I fucking hate all of you, you especially.” She snatched her arm from his big hand and shrugged into her coat, while she slipped back into her shoes.


“I don’t doubt it,” Luke said.


He picked up her bag and opened the door for her, waiting as she scanned her apartment, checking to see it was secure. As she approached, he could hear her muttering under her breath about how she hated men and especially men who wouldn’t take no for an answer and how she wished she had a…


Luke dropped the bag and snatched her purse from her hands. She gasped angrily, as he searched it. Finding it empty of the gun she wished she had, he handed it back to her.


“Just checking,” he said, smirking at her angry scowl.


Fuming, Faith hit him with the purse. “And if I really had a gun, don’t you think I’d have used it on you by now?”


Luke chuckled. “Actually yeah, I do…that’s why I checked.” He picked up the carry-all again and waited for her to precede him out of the apartment, not trusting her not to slam the door in his face and lock herself inside. He smirked when he saw the flicker of annoyance in her eyes, realizing he’d read her right. She would have done it, if he’d stepped out first.


Taking her by the arm, he led her to the elevators and the underground car park. He knew she would try and make a run for it and he wasn’t going to give her the chance.


Once in the car, he even locked the doors, all the while smiling as she huffed and fumed. She glared at him, knowing he was second guessing her and getting it right.


*****


“Spike took Buffy away for the weekend and Cooper is taking young Marti to the air field tomorrow to start his flying lessons,” Luke told Faith as he showed her into his rooms. “They’ll probably be gone most of the weekend, though I think Dix will be around, but besides that, we’ve pretty much got the place to ourselves.”


Standing in the middle of his sitting room, Faith turned to watch him carry her bag into the bedroom, his voice grew fainter for a few moments then he came back into the sitting room looking at her thoughtfully.


“Have you had dinner?” he asked.


She shook her head.


Luke nodded. He didn’t think she would have. She didn’t seem to like to eat before seeing a client. Maybe it has something to do with thinking she’ll vomit when they’re fucking her, he thought.


He picked up the phone prepared to order her something, but she stopped him.


“I’m not hungry,” she said, simply.


Luke approached her with a sense of trepidation and realized for the first time this woman made him nervous, and the thoughts of what he wanted from her nearly terrified him. How was it possible she had reduced him to this? He tugged her to the couch and pushed her down. She wasn’t fuming anymore, but he could tell she was on the defensive. Her arms were crossed in front of her chest and she was looking at him coldly.


“Fine, you’re not hungry, maybe you’ll want something later.”


“I doubt it,” she replied icily. “Are you going to tell me what this is all about?”


Luke really wanted to try and talk to her, but she was making it damn near impossible. Sighing, he pulled out a small black book from inside his jacket and handed it to her.


Frowning, she took the book and glancing at him, she nervously opened it. Gasping, loudly she looked at him shocked.


“I checked Glory’s books myself and calculated how much you’d earned in the last year, and multiplied it by seven and that’s the figure I came up with.”


She was staring at the bank book in her hand. It had her name on the cover page and a fortune in the balance column.


“You said maybe five to seven years and I added another twenty percent for tips,” Luke told her. “It’s yours…no strings attached. You can leave anytime you want. I’ve already told Glory you won’t be going back to work for her and I cleared it with Spike–”


She cut him off. “I don’t understand…why would you do this?” Faith whispered.


“Because I think you hate doing what you’re doing. You only do it for the money. Well, now you’ve got the money, so now you don’t have to do it anymore.”


Faith looked flustered, which was a look Luke had never seen on her before. “But where did it come from?” She waved the book at him. “Spike…you?”


“Me, though Spike approved you quitting Glory’s. I’ve arranged for you to take your pick from a selection of jobs at some of the legitimate business…if you want…or if you really want, you can just take the money and leave.”


Faith stared at him. “Why are you doing this?”


“I told you.”


“And I can go anytime I want?”


Luke shrugged his big shoulders. “I’d like you to stay at least the weekend, but if you really don’t even want to do that then yeah, you can leave.”


She jumped up from the couch and grabbed her purse. Quickly, she stuffed the bank book into a front pocket and marched into the bedroom.


Luke remained sitting on the couch, making no effort to follow her. He knew he was taking a risk, but he’d hoped she would at least want to spend some time with him, but now she had the money, he guessed she really didn’t have a reason to stick around. Maybe it was for the best…maybe she really did hate him…maybe she hated all men…maybe she could just walk away…maybe he could let her…or…maybe not.


She came back out of the bedroom carrying her bag and quickly made her way to the sitting room door, not even glancing at Luke. She grasped the handle and yanked the door open angrily.


Breathing hard, she stood in the open doorway, listening for sounds of pursuit. What the fuck is the matter with him? She thought. Sightlessly, she stared into the landing her thoughts scattered. I should just take his fucking money and get the fuck out of here…never look back, build myself a new life…one that doesn’t include having to fuck bastards like him for a living…get myself a nice house in a nice town, invest my money and live like a god damn queen for the rest of my life.


Angrily, she slammed the door and spun around. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” She screamed. He was looking at her over his shoulder. “What the hell do you think is going to happen? Did you think I’d be so grateful that I’d stay…be your private whore for the next seven years earning the money? Well I won’t. I’ll just take it and leave. I’ll go and I’ll never come back and you’ll never see me or your money again and don’t think I won’t do it…because I will.”


Luke slowly rose from the couch and calmly walked towards her. She was breathing hard, her face flushed, her eyes bright with anger…and fear. He loomed over her, staring down into her face silent and serious.


“So is this goodbye then?” Luke asked her.


She didn’t answer and he took a step nearer to her, almost touching but not quite.


“Is it Faith…is it goodbye?”


She still didn’t answer. Carefully he reached out a big hand and brushed a gentle finger over her cheek.


“I’m going to kiss you, but I want to know if I’m kissing you goodbye…so tell me, is it goodbye?”


Screaming, she dropped her bags glaring at him.


“You’re free to go anytime you want. You’ve got all that money, you can go anywhere, buy a big house and sit beside your pool all day long and live like a movie star…I won’t stop you,” Luke whispered.


She looked like she was ready to run…again. Luke waited to see what she would do, wondering again if she would really just leave and if he would let her. He said he wouldn’t stop her, but he didn’t think that was true. Maybe he could, it’s not as if he’d ever needed anyone before. Or maybe he couldn’t. She was a puzzle to him and he didn’t think he was done with trying to figure her out…or…maybe he didn’t need to.


Her glare melted and she stared back at him frightened and confused.


Picking her up, Luke lifted her and pushed her back against the door, kissing her swiftly. She gasped and wrapped her arms and legs around him, kissing him back.


Breathing hard, he pulled back but kept her pinned to the door, waiting for her to say…something.


“This won’t work,” she whispered.


“You don’t know that,” he said, kissing her again. “Not until you try…and so what if it doesn’t, at least you’ll have tried…you won’t be left wondering and you can leave anytime you want.”


He moved his mouth to her neck, sucking on her wildly beating pulse.


“I don’t even like you…I might even hate you,” she moaned.


“That’s a risk I’m willing to take,” he mumbled at her neck.


She wound her fingers in his hair. “I’m a whore?”


“Only if you want to be,” he grasped her ass, fondling her.


Panting slightly, she sighed. “You’re a bastard.”


“Only if you want me to be,” he said, biting her neck hard enough to make her moan. He was getting pretty worked up, his cock swelling to painful proportions in his pants. He pushed himself against her groin. “I can be whatever you want me to be.”


“I don’t want you at all,” she gasped.


“Fine then, I can be whatever you need me to be.” He kept pushing his groin against hers causing them both to groan with the building pressure.


“Don’t need you…ah…ah,” she moaned. “Oh fuck, that feels good.”


“Then I guess you’ll just use me,” he groaned at her ear.


She reached down between them and caressed his cock. “Yeah, I guess I could do that,” she panted. “Until I get bored and decide to move on.”


“Sounds like an idea,” he grunted.


“Or a plan,” she told him, squeezing him just a bit harder.


“Aaargh…yeah sure…I won’t cuff you to the bed…aaargh…unless you want me to…you can leave anytime you like,” he groaned as she simultaneously squeezed and rubbed his cock. “So is this goodbye?”


“Nah…it’s a rehearsal,” she said breathlessly. “I’ll leave tomorrow…or maybe the day after that…yeah I’ll leave on Sunday.”


“Can’t leave on Sunday,” he told her, fondling her ass and rocking his cock against her hand.


“Why not,” she panted.


“Gonna rain on Sunday.”


“Then I’ll leave on Monday.”


She could feel him shaking his head against her neck and shoulder. “Can’t.”


“Why not?”


“Gonna still be raining.”


“Tuesday, I’ll go on Tuesday.”


“Gonna cuff you to the bed on Tuesday.”


“Wednesday?”


“Gonna fuck you all day Wednesday.”


“Thursday?”


“Gonna cuff you to the bed and fuck you all day Thursday.”


“Friday then?”


“No, you definitely can’t leave me on Friday,” he told her.


“Why not?”


“Gonna make love to you all day and all night Friday.”


She gasped. “Well fuck that’s a whole week gone already,” she panted squirming against him. “I guess I’ll have to leave the week after.”


“Yeah, that might be a good week to leave…I don’t have any plans for you for that week…yet.” Grabbing her about the waist, he pulled her away from the door and carried her towards the bedroom.


Clinging tight to him, she didn’t protest. “But I can leave anytime I want…right?”


“Anytime you want.”


He kicked the bedroom door shut and dropped her to the bed.


“Except when it’s raining or when I’m cuffed to the bed or when you’re fucking me…right?”


“Or when I’m making love to you…you forgot that.” Dropping to the bed next to her, he reached for the ties on her designer blouse.


Faith propped herself up on her elbows and watched his big hands struggle with the delicate fastenings. Reaching for his belt, she tugged him closer. “Just rip the fucking thing and be done with it…I know you want too.”


Luke smirked at her and ripped the blouse in half with one strong yank. “No bra?”


“Are you complaining?”


“Fuck no,” he said. His eyes flickered to her jeans. “Tell me you’re not wearing any panties and you’ll make me the happiest guy alive.”


Faith chuckled. “Sorry to disappoint you, but I am.”


“Then tell me I can rip them off too and I’ll still be the happiest guy alive.” He was tugging at the button on her jeans, impatient to get a good look at her.


“Rip away.”


She screamed as he ripped her jeans open and yanked them down her legs. She screamed again as he ripped her thong from her hips. Impatient to get to her, Luke struggled to get out of his clothes. Aroused, Faith knelt up on the bed and helped him. Together, they fell to the bed naked and ready for each other.


“Kiss me Faith,” he demanded.


She kissed him hard and hungry…like she never kissed anyone before, her hand automatically reaching for his cock as his fingers searched for her hard slippery clit. They groaned into each others mouths.


Luke rolled them and pulled her on top of him, his fingers buried deep inside her wet core. “Kiss me again.”


She did…and she kept kissing him until she couldn’t stand the lack of oxygen anymore, gasping and panting she sagged against him for a moment.


“Come up here…I want to taste you,” he groaned huskily.


Shimmying up his broad chest, Faith positioned herself over his mouth, he grasped her hips and pulled her to him and plunged his tongue into her wet pussy.


“Oh fuck…fuck yes…oh god Luke…do it harder,” she gasped, moving rapidly over his mouth. Her head flung back. She rode him with complete abandon, gasping and panting as he fondled her breasts.


He worked her quickly, realizing from her desperate gasps she was close to coming. Gripping her hips tightly, he helped her speed up…watching her as she lost it.


She screamed and shuddered as her orgasm hit.


Luke eased her off him and helped her relax back against the pillows. She gasped softly, as his fingers explored her still quaking pussy. “Feel good?” he asked.


She chuckled. “Oh yeah,” she sighed, opening her eyes to look at him. She twisted on the bed and retrieved a condom from the bedside cabinet. She held it out to him. “What’s next…you want a blowjob or do you want to fuck me?” She could see he was ready for something.


“Only if you want me to…you’re not a whore anymore and I’m not paying you ever again,” he told her. She arched a shapely brow at him. “You don’t have to do this unless you want to.”


Faith frowned at that. Fuck me, when have I ever done it because I wanted to? She thought. Then she remembered the bank book in her purse…all that money, she would never have to work again if she didn’t want to. There was more than enough there for her to live on, especially if she invested it carefully. She realized Luke had given her a great deal more than just money, he’d given her choice and now she could choose what she wanted to do…she was free.


She looked at him carefully. He was stoic and still, except for the fingers that continued to move softly inside her. He was wearing that blank cold look, the same blank cold look that had frightened her so much when she first met him. His indifferent vicious treatment had terrified her the first time he took her. She remembered it vividly…


His grip was painful as he dragged her away from her friends…Buffy’s face was terrified…Spike’s was bored.


He slammed her against the door and she struggled as he tore her panties from her…his first thrust had been very painful and he growled at her to hold still. She screamed and struggled some more, swearing and cursing at him. He deliberately tore her dress and grabbed her by the throat. Gasping, she hit him and he hit her back cutting her lip, her mouth swelled instantly. He squeezed her throat slightly…enough to stop her wild struggles and mark her.


“Now hold still and let’s get this done,” he growled at her ear, like he was talking about a reluctant chore.


He released her throat then and transferred his grip to her upper arms, his fingers digging into the soft flesh with bruising force.


She was forced to hold on to him as he began to thrust into her…putting on a good show for the benefit of the girls in the other room…repeatedly banging her against the door as he grunted loudly. She held still, shocked and angered, but unable to prevent her cries of pain and humiliation, realizing he was just using her to put on an act, but despite the act he still came inside her…and that was a shock too, because he hadn’t worn a condom and she was horribly reminded of the last time she felt a man spill himself inside her. The urge to vomit was nearly overwhelming, but he pulled out of her before that could happen.


Letting her drop to the floor, a boneless heap he casually pulled up his pants and refastened them. She pressed her back to the wall behind the door, numbed and unable to look at him as he quickly pulled the door open and walked away from her. Her panties lay on the floor…the scarlet lace obscene against the blue and gold rug…she stared at them shivering.


Then she remembered someone kneeling next to her…he said kind things to her in a hushed tone and wiped the blood from her lip with a soft handkerchief. He helped her up and gently led her back into the other room…back to her friends.


She remembered feeling his seed trickling from her and the urge to vomit returned…but somehow she held it back. Buffy looked stricken…her wrists were red and her clothes looked tussled. She sensed Luke draw near to her. Spike was talking…showing Buffy photographs of her sister…coldly forcing her to chose. Poor Buffy, she was so frightened. She cried and begged, but what choice did she have. Spike had her cornered and Buffy chose Harmony. Jumping up, swearing at Spike, she felt a stinging blow to her face seconds before Luke grabbed her hair and shook her.


Then he was dragging her from the room and pushing her into the back seat of a car and climbing in with her. He instructed the driver to take them to Glory’s and sat back, silently staring at her the whole journey, his face blank…empty…cold…and she stared right back…not flinching or backing down from his vacant expression. When the car stopped outside Glory’s place, he roughly pulled her across the seat and kissed her hard on the mouth. She swore at him and he chuckled as he pulled her out his side of the car, all the time gripping her wrist painfully. He shoved her through Glory’s door and barked at Glory to keep her there until the morning. Looking indifferently at her once more, he left without a backward glance.


And that’s exactly what she should do now…so why wasn’t she halfway to Canada? He’d given her all that money…all that choice…all that freedom!


Next time she saw him, he was standing on her doorstep. Horrified, she tried to slam the door in his face, but he easily overpowered her and barged his way into her apartment…and her life. He forced her to get rid of her customer…telling her he wanted to talk.


She reminded him then, she had already been on the receiving end of his distinctive version of ‘talking’ and she hadn’t found anything he said to her the last time to be of interest, and she definitely didn’t want a rerun of their last conversation…and politely told him to fuck off.


He didn’t though…he fixed himself a drink and sat on her couch…like he owned the place, smirking at her as he pulled her scarlet panties from his pocket.


She screamed and launched herself at him…punching and slapping at any part of him she could reach. Her anger over-riding her fear…and he let her. Only brushing her blows or slaps aside, when they threatened to cause too much harm…ducking the missiles she threw at him with ease…never raising his voice or retaliating in any way.


When she’d finally exhausted herself and wrecked half her sitting room, he picked her up off the floor and carried her into the bedroom. He placed her on the bed and fixed her a large brandy. She thought for sure he was going to rape her again, but he didn’t, he just sat on the bed with her until she fell asleep.


When she woke the next morning, he was still there. He’d cleaned the sitting room and dumped all the broken stuff in the trash…and he’d slept on the couch…on the couch...! Like a friend, who’d had too much to drink and couldn’t drive home. He didn’t even disturb her for a blanket, but used his jacket and the thin green couch throw as substitute covering. He looked enormous laying there, his legs and feet sticking over the end of the couch comically.


Angry, she banged around the apartment, making as much noise as possible in an effort to wake him up. Frustrated because it didn’t seem to be working, she marched into the sitting room, prepared to slap him awake. She froze when she spotted his gun peeking from inside his jacket. Without thinking, she grabbed it. Like a striking cobra, his hand locked around her wrist and he yanked her down on top of him and flipped her, crushing her small frame under his massive one, glaring at her as he gripped the hand holding the gun…silently, they stared at each other.


His eyes flickered to the gun and he smirked. “It’s not loaded…but I am,” he whispered.


Fearful, she released the gun and struggled under him…a heavy thunk told her the gun had fallen to the floor. Luke pulled her up, but didn’t let her go. “I won’t hurt you…again,” he told her.


She bluffed and insisted he hadn’t hurt her the last time, and that she was just pissed because he’d ruined one of her favorite dresses and not paid for the fuck.


He looked at her hard, trying to read her…but somehow she convinced him, it was all about the money and her torn dress. He pulled out his wallet and handed her a thousand dollars.


She smirked, pleased he had paid up…but he told her the cash wasn’t for the last time…but for this time.


She nearly dropped the cash and he asked her what the problem was. Pointing out to her, that if she wasn’t upset about the last time and it was only the money she was interested in, then she really shouldn’t have a problem letting him fuck her again.


Years and years of cultivated indifference came to her rescue and she even smiled in a dirty, flirty way as she rose from the couch and invited him into the bedroom.


He was silent…she immediately took control…turning on the charm and the sex like the proverbial red light…she didn’t want him to guess what she was really thinking…feeling. She acted out one of her more popular roles…hussy…thrusting herself forward with well rehearsed glee, her hands and body moving with practiced ease…talking dirty and confidently telling him what to do…asking him what he would like her to do…and doing it without a thought…he was a customer…a client…a trick…a john…a man…a-god-damn-fucking-raping-bastard.


She gasped and moaned and smiled at him…she let him touch her and position her and fuck her…and she even let him kiss her. Stealing glances at the money on the dressing table…she fucked him like a whore.


He didn’t hurt her or smack her around or ask her to do weird shit and he was only interested with conventional sex. For a big man he moved his body well…holding his weight off her…thrusting with the sole intent of pleasure. He didn’t grunt once…but he moaned…often. She avoided looking directly at him…his eyes were too searching and she couldn’t risk him seeing what was inside…so it was understood between them.


He didn’t hurt her, it was just unpaid business. She didn’t care that he’d forced her…she’d had rougher rides at the fairground…but she was mad he hadn’t paid…and she loved that dress…and it was just rough sex…just a fuck.


He’d made her come…with his big fingers as he’d fucked her. That surprised her. His fingers were gentle, his cock was hard and her orgasm was both powerful and real…and she didn’t need to fake it, like she usually did…but it was still only about the money…


She pretended to go back to sleep when he finished and she cried when he left. She hadn’t cried in years…not since the first time when she was only sixteen. She hadn’t even cried when Luke raped her…but she cried after he fucked her…after he bought her. She hated it and vowed she would find a way to make enough money so she would never…never have to let them touch her and kiss her, and fuck her and hurt her again. She dried her eyes and called Glory, and asked her to send over as many guys as she wanted to. She fucked four different men that day…five if she included Luke. She fucked five more the next day…and four more the day after that, before she finally had to call a halt. Exhausted, she slept for a whole day. She kept their money…her money…on the dresser, so she could look at it as she drifted off to sleep. It was the first thing she saw when she woke up. A huge pile of money…ugly money…dirty money…disgusting money…promising-her-a-better-future-money…liberating-her-from-all-their-need-and-desire-and-lust-money…just fucking money.


Now it would never be about the money again…she could choose. Luke had stopped touching her. His arm rested lightly over her waist. He was looking at her from under hooded lids, patiently waiting for her to tell him what she wanted to do. She didn’t really think he would let her go…but she didn’t think he would use the money to hold on to her…and she believed him when he said it was up to her…he wouldn’t force her…he wouldn’t hurt her…again.


Shocking, tears stung her eyes suddenly, and she couldn’t turn away from him, couldn’t hide them and she really wanted too and she really didn’t want to. “I’ve never had sex because I wanted too…it was always about some guy wanting it from me or just taking it,” she mumbled tearfully. “I’ve never had sex with a guy and not been paid…even the first time. I’m not sure I’d know how to make it work with just one guy. I don’t know where to begin and I don’t just mean the sex. I’ve never even had a boyfriend before…and this, it’s too much…too scary…too real–”


Luke cut into her teary babble. “Someone raped you…when you were a kid…right?”


She blinked at him and swallowed hard.


“Who was it…a friend…a friend’s parent, your dad…who Faith?”


A single tear slipped down her cheek.


“My mom’s boyfriend,” she supplied, reluctantly. “I was sixteen…h-he wouldn’t leave me alone…h-he kept coming back…forcing me. He paid me to keep quiet…I was a fucking kid and I was scared,” she wailed.


She sat up on the bed and looked at him, her remembered anger and resentment rising within her, her voice growing stronger as she pushed back the resurfacing fear and loathing.


“And eventually I got so scared of h-him and I told my mom…but she didn’t believe it wasn’t my fault and when she found out he was giving me money, she called me a whore and kicked me out.” Her voice trembled and so did she. “I was at the bus station trying to get a bus out of town, but I didn’t have enough money to get to LA, but I got a ride with some guy who said I wouldn’t have to pay for gas or food, if I let him fuck me. When we got to LA he introduced me to a couple of friends of his…one of them was a client of Glory’s. He gave me her number and I’ve been working for her ever since…it’s all I’ve ever known.”


Luke gazed at her. He guessed her story would be something along those lines…it wasn’t original, but it was to her and he’d picked up on the tremble in her voice, each time she spoken of her rapist. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Things were handled badly at the beginning, but Spike wanted to be sure Buffy would take him seriously. He thought he needed to strike hard, to make sure she didn’t doubt his threats.”


Hurriedly, she snatched up Luke’s discarded shirt and shrugged into it, desperate to conceal her nudity. “What the fuck is that supposed to be? An apology…an excuse…you think telling me that makes it okay…makes it better. Well it fucking doesn’t…I hate what he – you did to me…and all these years I’ve hated what all those men did to me, but I learned to live with it because they all paid…paid a lot – and then you – and it was like I was a kid again…and it hurt…fucking hurt a lot…and I was scared…and you forced me…didn’t give me a choice,” she yelled, breathing hard and fast.


Luke watched her struggle with herself, knowing this was what she really needed, knowing it had nothing to do with the money and everything to do with choice.


“But now you’ve given me a choice with your fucking money and your ‘I-won’t-hurt-you’ and ‘you-can-leave-anytime-you-want’ and your ‘you-don’t-have-to-do-this-if-you-don’t-want-to’ WELL FUCK YOU,” she screamed.


She slapped him hard across the face, and flung herself face first onto the bed, sobbing loudly.


Luke was never good with crying women and he’d never seen Faith cry before. He usually walked away from them if they started gushing not even giving them a backward glance, indifferent to their pain, but something inside him shifted and he awkwardly tried to comfort her, patting her on the back and stroking her hair with his big ham-fisted hand. He’d thought she was strong, tough even. But she’s just a woman…a girl…a shit scared kid…hurt and fragile with no one to defend her…a little kid all alone. Well not any more, he thought.


“Faith…Faith listen to me,” he coaxed.


Her sobs diminished slightly, but she didn’t lift her head from the mattress or move her hands from her face.


“From here on out it’ll always be your choice…I swear…I promise.” He pulled her up so he could look at her…so she could see him. “I’ll never force you or hurt you again.”


Faith stared at him and thought maybe she would take a chance with someone other than herself. What the fuck, it’s not as if I can’t afford the bus ticket out of town this time, she thought. “Okay,” she sniffled. “Because if you do, I’ll get a fucking gun and shoot your sorry ass,” she warned him seriously.


Luke chuckled, knowing she meant it. “You can use mine, I’ll keep it loaded…just for you,” he said kissing her. She relaxed against him feeling confused and bewildered, wondering if she needed to get her head examined…Because dear God, I must be fucking crazy, she thought.


“I’ll arrange to get new rooms for us, one of the suites with connecting bedrooms so you can have your own space.” He brushed her hair off her face and gave her a rare smile. He thought it best to give her some control and having her own room, even if it did connect directly to his might be enough to make her feel less overwhelmed. He had a feeling they would both need to ease into things.


“Is that your way of asking me to move in with you?” she wanted to know. She remembered him half-joking about it before and wondered just how long he’d been thinking about this.


“Yeah…it is, but you can think of it in a different way if you want.” He didn’t want to spook her…just ease her in.


“And what way would that be?” she asked.


He cradled her to him, gently easing her onto his lap. “Well, now you’re no longer working for Glory you’ll need to find a new apartment, and it just so happens there are a couple of rooms going spare here,” he said.


“Spare huh.”


“Yeah…and all rooms come with twenty-four-hour room service, and a maid and you’ll also get the use of a fully equipped gym, a sauna, a hot tub, two swimming pools, tennis courts and most importantly, your room will have a lock and key and it’ll always be up to you, who you open your door to.” He tilted her face towards him and kissed her softly.


“Humm sounds pretty good, but what’s the rent?” she asked.


“Well that’s the best part, it’s free.” He kissed her again.


“Nothings free Luke, there’s always a price,” she said, heavily.


Luke shook his head. “Not the kind you’re thinking of…besides, none of us pay rent, Spike’s always insisted that our accommodations are covered by the family, including all our travel expenses when we have to work away.”


“OH!”


Luke looked at her. “What?”


“Well, if no one pays rent then I owe Buffy an apology.”


“Why?”


“Because I kinda implied Spike was buying her, with her living here rent free and all that new gear he got her and the trip to the salon, and stuff like that.” She cringed, remembering how she’d lashed out at her friend that day.


“That wasn’t nice Faith.”


“I know.”


“Spike would never try to buy her…he’s in love with her.”


“WHAT!”


“Spike’s in love with Buffy,” he repeated.


Faith nearly pulled out of his arms and stared at him bug-eyed. “No way! You’re shitting me,” she gasped.


Luke chuckled. “No, not shitting you. Spike’s in love with her…has been since day one or damn near,” he told her. She looked completely stunned. “Though I don’t think he figured it out for a while and he tried to resist it, but she just kept getting under his skin, plus she kept fighting him, which just made him more determined…but I think she’s beginning to come round.”


He tugged her close again, but she was distracted, thinking about Spike and Buffy. “Oh my god!” she whispered softly, unable to take it in. “Are you sure…does Buffy know?”


Luke kissed her neck softly and licked a slow path up to her ear. “Forget them…I don’t want to talk about them. I want to talk about you moving in, you haven’t told me if you will yet.” Did he sound hopeful?


Faith was still thinking about Buffy and Spike…especially Spike. “What about Spike…what does he think about you moving a whore into his house?” Her tone was defensive.


“He said it was up to me,” he whispered, sucking her earlobe softly. “And you’re not a whore.”


His mouth felt good and she wondered if he was trying to coax her into sex, but for some strange reason she got the impression he was happy to just do what he was doing. She could call a halt and he would stop immediately. “Oh really, then what am I?” she asked.


He lifted his head and looked at her. “Just a girl,” he said.


She smiled at that and wondered when she had ever been, ‘just a girl’…to anyone.


“So you want that spare room or not?” he asked. This time he knew he sounded hopeful…what the fuck was this girl doing to him?


Faith knew that once she said the words, she wouldn’t be able to take them back and she would be snared by her own choice…but for once, and for the first time, it was her choice.


She shrugged her slim shoulders in his big shirt and smiled nervously. “Yeah sure, it can’t hurt to try,” she said, hopefully.


Luke smiled again and the smile quickly became a big grin.


She ignored his big shit eating grin. “I’m hungry, do you mind if I put that twenty-four hour room service to the test?” she asked.


He was still grinning. “No…help yourself…dial three for the kitchen and just tell them what you want.”


She shuffled to the other side of the bed and reached for the phone. Luke climbed off the bed and picked up his pants from the floor, and stepped into them. He heard her order a large cheese burger and fries, apple pie and ice cream and a bowl of popcorn. Wow! I guess she is hungry or maybe she intends to share, he thought.


“Luke do you want anything?” She asked with her hand over the receiver.


Okay, she doesn’t intend to share. “What…you can’t share?” He teased.


She scowled. “No way Jack, get your own,” she replied, indignantly.


Luke chuckled, still grinning. “Fine, tell them to double the order…except for the popcorn.”


She finished giving the order and rung off.


*****


They ate in the sitting room. Luke sitting on the couch and Faith sitting wedged in the gap between the couch and the coffee table, the leftovers littering the table top.


Faith groaned sickeningly full, but feeling sleepy and relaxed. Luke kept glancing at her, half expecting her to jump up and run off. He was surprised when she hoisted herself off the floor and flopped onto the couch next to him. They looked at each other. Luke arched a brow at her grimace of near pain. She groaned and fell onto him, her head resting on one of his knees.


Grinning, Luke gently combed his fingers through her hair and a comfortable silence settled between them. They stayed like that for a long time, finally Luke noticed her eyes drifting shut, so he picked her up and effortlessly carried her into the bedroom. He placed her under the covers, still wearing his shirt. He stripped off and climbed in next to her.


Silently, she turned and reached for him. He held still and silent as she gently caressed his flaccid cock. He didn’t touch her or speak as she stroked him to hardness, but he couldn’t prevent the low moans she provoked with her arousing touch. He was nearly at the point of pain and just about to beg her to stop, when she slithered down and engulfed his bulging cock with her mouth.


He gasped loudly. “Faith…condom?”


She lifted her head for a second. “Don’t want one.” She sucked him hard.


Her tongue was soft and wet and teasing. Luke fought to keep his hands off her, desperately wanting to let her do whatever it was she wanted to do without falling into the usual pattern of the structured sex she was so familiar with. She kept alternating the speed and it was driving him wild and the thoughts of coming in her mouth for the first time nearly made him dizzy with anticipation. He couldn’t think straight…his blood was humming in his veins and suddenly a sharp sweat bloomed all over him, as he felt his balls draw up. He moaned and gritted his teeth tightly.


Faith looked up at him, her eyes had grown accustomed to the gloom and she could see his face twisted in an expression of extreme pain - pleasure. She cupped his big balls and his head shot up from the pillow. She held his surprised, pleasure filled gaze.


“Faith…Faaiith…if you don’t stop…”


For a fraction of a second she faltered, but she didn’t stop. She dropped her gaze suddenly shy.


“No…please look at me…please Faith,” he whispered, hoarsely.


She looked up again and saw his need for her burning fiercely in his normally cold eyes…and it occurred to her she was looking at his desire for her…and not for what she was doing. For the first time ever she actually wanted to let a man come in her mouth. When she’d started to suck him off without the usual cover of a condom, she’d intended to pull away and let him come on her breasts, but now she wanted to taste him. She’d never tasted anyone before, never had the urge to…but she wanted to now.


She sucked his cock hard and fondled his balls softly.


He gripped the headboard behind him, his back arching and gasped loudly as he exploded in her mouth.


“AAARGH…AAARGH…Aaargh…Faith, Faith…” he panted, lost in bliss as he continued to spurt into her mouth. He felt the wood beneath his hands crack, at the same time as he heard it crunch.


Faith gagged, unused to the feeling of his hot seed filling her mouth. Vaguely she was aware of the salty taste on her tongue but she was more concerned with what she should do next than with taking the time to catalog all the new and different sensations the experience was producing.


Suddenly, she realized she had to swallow. His seed was filling her mouth and he was still coming hard and strong. She needed to make room…instinctively she swallowed…shivering slightly. The sensation reminded her of eating raw oysters. Finally he finished and she swallowed one last time, she pulled back quickly, gasping.


Luke lay spent on the bed, his big hands still tightly clutching the cracked headboard. He stared at her as she collapsed next to him. He reached for her and pulled her up to kiss…gently. He caressed her through the fabric of the shirt…appreciating the play of muscles in her back, weighing her full breasts in his big hands and delighting in the flavor of her mouth.


Nestled against him, she brushed her hand back and forth across his big chest rubbing the coarse hairs gently and caressing his nipples lightly. She hooked a leg over him and moaned as his fingers slipped into her wet folds. He brushed her clit, teasingly applying a fraction of pressure and smiled as she pushed her hips forward, seeking more of the pressure. Groaning, she rode his fingers for long minutes moving herself on his hand. They remained silent, neither one willing to speak in case the moment was shattered. Faith pulled herself up straddling his legs, his fingers still touching and teasing her pussy. Slowly, he pushed into her wet core, stretching her and making her moan. She pushed back, her passion building as she reached for his cock, he was nearly hard again and she stroked him, her fingers playing lightly with the sensitive ridges. Within minutes, he was hard and ready.


Suddenly, Faith twisted her body and retrieved a condom from the drawer. Their eyes met and she tore the packet open, quickly she sheathed him with it, holding his hopeful gaze for a moment before she shifted her hips slightly and slid down his hard length. They both cried out. Luke’s hands grasped her hips and he pushed up into her. Faith’s hands grasped his upper arms and she pushed down onto him. He smiled at her and waited for her to move.


“Faith…baby…” he whispered.


She rose above him slowly, her hips undulating up and down back and forth, her speed building very, very slowly. He didn’t try to take over, merely let her make all the decisions. She didn’t take her eyes off him and he didn’t dare let his eyes close in case she vanished, or stopped, or…or stopped.


Don’t let her stop, don’t let her stop, don’t let her go, don’t let go…don’t go…stay…stay…Faith…stay. The thoughts flittered through his mind as she moved above him. He could tell from the expression in her eyes, she could read him, the pressure of his fingers increased minutely in an unconscious desire to hold onto her…fearful in case she stopped. She smiled…a woman’s knowing smile and moved steadily.


“Faith…”


She picked up the pace, her hips rising rapidly again and again.


“Faith…”


She ground down against him, rocking herself on his cock hard and fast. Her breath was coming in ragged pants, all the while maintaining eye contact.


“FAITH…”


Both nearly there, she thrust faster, harder…faster, faster…harder, harder…faster, harder, faster, harder…building…higher, higher…coming… coming…coming…coming…


“FAITH!!”


Staying.


*************************************************************
TBC…soon.
 

Chapter Seventy.

Winters End.


Buffy was sorry their time on Winters Storm was nearly over. She’d found the wide open space of the ocean had helped her relax, but she was sure it was finally talking with Spike that had made the real difference. She’d slept soundly and peacefully the night before and woke to hear humming, coming from the galley. Spike was obviously in a good mood and by the appetizing aroma that filled the air, he must have cooked breakfast.


Feeling languid, Buffy didn’t move from her nice comfy spot in the big king sized bed. Besides, she would hurt his feelings if she didn’t remain where she was. Can’t have breakfast in bed if you’re not in bed, she reasoned.


Listening to him hum tunefully, she thought about the differences in him. Things had changed so much…her life had changed so much since she’d met Spike, but he had changed too. The man who had coldly ordered Faith raped and Harmony sent to Trick and held her against her will was still there…he was the man Angel helped to make, and Buffy knew that damage could never be completely undone. Just like Lily could never be brought back, but he seemed more in command of that side of himself. Buffy hoped and believed that since Spike had told her the reasons behind his deep and understandable hatred of Angel, he might be able to let go of some of the pain. Counseling would help and she hoped she was right…because she really did believe that underneath all that pain and anger was a man, who if given the chance, could be better than he was now…could be more than he was now, he had it in him and maybe over time and with the right environment, he would change some more.


The humming stopped and Buffy could hear the rattle of breakfast plates tapping together on a tray, as Spike walked the short distance from the galley to the bedroom.


The door swung open, and his face burst into a sudden happy smile that went all the way to his eyes.


“Good mornin’ beautiful.”


Buffy pushed herself up the bed as he drew near, returning his smile a little sleepily. “Humm morning,” she yawned, her eyes tearing up. “Is that bacon I smell?”


“Yep,” he laughed. “I hope you’re hungry ‘cause I cooked lots.”


“What! Didn’t you want to see all that food go to waste?” She teased.


Again Spike had asked the marina to stock the boat with far too much food. He looked at her a little sheepishly. “Okay, okay I know I ordered too much, but at least this time I brought one of those cool boxes to bring stuff back in,” he said, putting the tray on the bed and climbing up beside her. “And since I cooked all of this, that will mean there’s even less we’ll ‘ave to cart back with us.”


“Yes well, next time we take the boat out for the weekend why don’t you let me handle the food ordering, that way there won’t be any waste and we won’t have to bring anything back with us?”


The simple logic of it hit him like a brick. Spike had never even considered asking Buffy to deal with something as mundane as the food shopping. He’d always handled such details when he went away with Drusilla and she would never have noticed if things went to waste, and even if she had, he didn’t think she would have cared.


Sitting with his back against the headboard, he thought about the times Buffy had cooked up at the cabin and on the boat. Her mother had raised her with skills attributed to a housewife, and Buffy didn’t even notice when she occasionally stepped into the role of caregiver. This was a side of her he hoped he would see more of. Now seemed like a good time to ask her to organize the informal brunch for the men.


“You know you might be onto somethin’ there pet. I’m a bit hopeless at judgin’ food quantities. I always figure it would be better to ‘ave too much than not enough.” He handed her a cup of coffee. “But if you say you don’t mind handlin’ it from now on, I’d be more than happy to let you and while we’re on the subject…you’re breakfast meetin’ the other mornin’ was a right good idea.”


“Good idea…how?”


“Well didn’t you notice how relaxed they all seemed? It was s’posed to be young Marti’s first meetin’ and he certainly seemed relaxed and though I’m not bothered with what that bugger Ritt was feeling, it still helped ease things for the others.” Spike buttered another slice of toast for her and pushed it across the tray.


Buffy realized he wasn’t even aware he’d done it.


“Maybe you should organize an informal brunch once a fortnight, you could hold it on the balcony or if the weather doesn’t permit, you could use the big sunroom, the one with all the flowers in.”


She munched on her toast, thoughtfully.


“Is there a special reason you want me to organize this?” she asked.


He shrugged. “Not really, I jus’ thought it went down well and with all the new men joinin’ the team it would be a good way to help everyone bond…Faith too if she decides to take Luke up on his offer and moves in.” He turned and looked at her seriously for a moment. “In fact, if Faith stays, why don’t you get her to help you?”


Buffy thought about that…Faith moving in. Faith living with Luke, Faith being there constantly…it would be nice having someone there who she could call a friend. Buffy seriously wondered how Faith would deal with living with Luke…but then she was sleeping with him and seeing him socially. Maybe Faith would like the idea of giving up being an escort, though she’d always maintained she would never settle down. Not that Buffy was sure living with Luke could be considered settling down.


Suddenly, Buffy wondered if that’s how she now saw herself…Am I settled with Spike? I’m not sure, we’ve shared a lot, but he hasn’t declared his love for me and I certainly haven’t said anything to him…but if we do, what will we be saying?


Confused Buffy asked. “Do you really think she will…move in with him?”


Spike shrugged again. “Who can say? For a woman like Faith it’s a good offer, but if she really likes whorin’ or if she holds a grudge against Luke, she’ll turn him down.” He poured them both more coffee. “But Luke will be makin’ it clear to her she’s free to leave. It’s up to her.”


Shaking her head, Buffy sighed. “I wish I knew what she’d do, but in the last few months we haven’t had much time for each other and since I found out she was sleeping with him, I’ve not had the chance to talk to her…to find out what’s really going on…but Cordy said she was a bit withdrawn lately,” she sighed. “And Faith can be very stubborn about things, if she’s made up her mind to go she’ll just go.”


“Well no point worryin’ about it now luv, we’ll know soon enough tonight,” Spike said.


Buffy pushed the tray away. “You’re right. So you want me to organize an informal brunch, once a fortnight for you and your men?”


He nodded.


“Is that just the Goonies, or do you want to include anyone from the guards?”


Spike chuckled. “Jus’ the Goonies.”


She smiled and leaned over to place a sweet kiss at the corner of his mouth. “Okay, I think it’s a good idea too, I’ll do it,” she said and kissed him again. “And thank you for breakfast, if you leave the dishes in the galley I’ll see to them later, but now I’m off to take a shower.” She pushed the quilt back and swung her legs over the side of the bed.


Spike gazed at her, his mouth tingling from her little kisses. “Can I join you?” he asked, hopefully.


Halfway to the bathroom, she stopped and looked at him over her shoulder. Disappointed, Spike saw a flash of fear light her eyes for a second. Guess not, still too soon, he thought. She smiled hesitantly at him and nodded her head, a slow blush coloring her face.


Spike hopped off the bed and moved in front of her. “Really, you don’t mind if I join you?” He was nervous as to what her answer might be. For the last two nights he’d kept a careful distance from her in bed, not that he wasn’t holding her and kissing her at every opportunity he got, but he was very careful not to allow himself to get too carried away. He wanted her to tell him when she was ready.


She looked unsure and she was blushing, a sure sign she was either embarrassed or having naughty thoughts. Spike wondered which it was.


“I don’t mind…but…I still…” she tried to explain.


Spike smiled and picking up her hand, led her to the bathroom. “Its okay, luv you don’t need to say anythin’ I understand. We’ll go slow…you say stop, we stop. Jus’ like I said…I promise, it’s enough that you let me be near you.” He kissed her softly on the mouth as he shut the door behind them. “I jus’ want to hold you and look at you…is that alright?”


She nodded, grateful he didn’t seem to expect too much from her.


Spike prepared the shower, turning on the water and pulling clean towels from the linen cupboard. Buffy stood nervously beside the closed door, her heart beating rapidly with a mixture of anticipation and fear. Spike turned to her, pulling his t-shirt over his head and letting it drop to the floor. The sight of his muscular chest made her heart beat increase even more. He reached for the fastening of his jeans and quickly discarded them. Standing naked in front of her, he didn’t make any effort to hide himself from her gaze.


Swallowing, Buffy let her eyes slide over him. He really did have a great body and the sight of him standing proudly naked before her made her blush and burn. She wanted to touch him and before she realized what she was doing, she raised her hand and caressed his chest lightly with a gentle touch. He sucked in a sharp breath, but held very still. Buffy took a step nearer to him and let her hand rest fully on the smooth hard planes of his chest. She could feel his heart beating fast. Her other hand came up and touched his hip. She looked at him. He was gritting his teeth and the look in his eye told her he liked what she was doing. Looking back down at his body, she watched, fascinated as his cock swelled and rose. Just a touch…not even a kiss or a word exchanged between us…just a simple touch and he wants me, she thought. And I want him too.


Consciously, choosing not to think things through, Buffy stepped in very close and wrapped her arms around him and kissed him.


Spike was completely surprised. Buffy pressed herself up against him and kissed him. Automatically, his arms came up to hold her to him and he returned the kiss happily. His hardening erection pressed between them. She felt so good, so soft and he couldn’t help wondering what she intended, but he knew he couldn’t afford to get this wrong. He might only get one chance and he didn’t want to blow it.


The kiss was strong and deep and Spike felt himself slipping further and further into a state of bliss. Buffy’s arms came up to wrap around his shoulders and neck as she stood on her tip-toes to deepen the kiss even more. She moaned softly. Spike opened his eyes and looked at her. She was beautiful, her face was all flushed with her rising passion and he could tell it was passion…this kiss made all others seem a poor cousin.


Panting softly, they parted, staring at one another as they held solidly to each other. Spike thought he saw something in her eyes, but he was unsure what it was. Is she trying to tell me something? Does she want me to do something? Is she afraid? Does she want me? I just don’t know and if I ask I could frighten her, he thought. The questions and uncertainties rolled through his mind as she continued to simply look at him. He wondered what she was looking for.


Gently, she laid her head on his shoulder. “Let’s have the shower later,” she whispered.


“Later…why later luv?” He thought she’d become nervous and changed her mind, not wanting him to join her after all.


“Because I’d rather you took me back to bed and made love to me. That’s why,” she whispered.


Spike’s heart leapt in his chest, overjoyed to hear the words she’d said, but he was scared, it still might be too soon. “Buffy…luv…kitten, are you sure? I don’t want you to rush this. We’ve got plenty of time and I don’t mind waitin’ until you’re ready.” His mouth was dry and his heart was beating fast…driven by fear…fear in case she said no and fear in case she said yes.


“I am ready…I want us too,” she looked up at him, her eyes searching his. “I am ready,” she said.


Spike closed his eyes and groaned. He turned off the shower and swept her up into his arms. The few paces to the bed felt like a million miles and Spike’s arms felt weak as he placed her on the bed. He looked up and noticed the breakfast tray sitting in the middle of the bed, groaning at the thought of having to take precious minutes to take it to the galley, precious minutes away from Buffy. How is it these things never run smoothly for me…how the fuck did Angel manage to get it so right with her…fourth of bleedin’ July and fireworks…champagne and strawberries no doubt…and me, I can’t even clear the soddin’ breakfast tray…the bed will probably be covered in crumbs, he thought.


Making his mind up, he lifted her back off the bed and started down the passageway.


“Spike, where are we going?” asked Buffy.


“Up top,” he told her. “Is that okay?”


She arched a brow and nodded. “As long as there’s no one about.”


“Jus’ you, me, the sky and the ocean kitten,” he smiled.


He carried her over to the cushioned bedding they’d used to sunbathe on the day before. It was perfect for the two of them and Spike liked the added bonus of it being out in the fresh air. He smiled, thinking of the last time they’d fooled around outdoors in the daylight. He would have to arrange a trip up to the cabin in the next week or two.


Placing Buffy gently on the matting, Spike spread himself out next to her. Propping himself up on one elbow, he gazed at her for a moment, combing her hair out against the matting with his fingers. She gazed back at him half afraid. Slowly, so as not to alarm her, he leaned over and kissed her softly on the mouth. She responded much quicker than he thought she would. Encouraged by her active participation, he kissed her again and again.


Spike was ecstatic she seemed to want this as much as he did, though he could sense her nerves…but still he wanted to be sure. “Buffy…,” he mumbled between kisses. “Oh Buffy, baby I want you so much…but are you sure you want this too?”


She smiled shyly and caressed his face with a slightly trembling hand. “Yes…I do,” she whispered. “I know you won’t hurt me…I trust you.” Buffy didn’t know if this was the right thing to say to him, but he seemed so worried about her that she wanted to reassure him she knew she would be alright with him.


Spike’s heart damn near burst, just hearing her tell him she trusted him. “I want you to promise to tell me if you want or need to stop at anytime. I won’t mind and I promise I’ll take it as slow and gentle as you like,” he whispered, kissing along her jaw line and up to her ear. She nodded. “This is ‘bout you Buffy…what you want, what you need and I’m ‘ere for you kitten.” He slipped his arm over her waist and pulled her a little closer to him.


Buffy’s hands came up to rest on his shoulders and she sighed, tilting her head back allowing him better access to her throat. Slowly, his hand crept down over her hip and across her flat stomach. Spike teased her with his fingertips, the digits dancing lightly over her silk nightgown, working his way lower until he reached the hem of the knee length garment. Pushing the fabric aside, he let his hand slip underneath and slowly began to caress her smooth thigh. Spike was in heaven as he kissed and touched Buffy. Her head was tilted back and her breathing was slightly labored, but he was overjoyed to see the affect he was having on her and he couldn’t deny she was having quite an affect on him too. He was rock hard.


Buffy wound her fingers into his hair and pushed his head firmer to her neck, moaning softly.


Gliding his hand higher, Spike reached her hip and explored the smooth flesh across her stomach. She sighed and caressed his ear with her little fingers. He turned his head and captured her mouth in a searing kiss. She moaned and kissed him back. Spike could tell she was getting worked up and carefully he moved his hand lower and with a sense of awe, he covered her mound. Buffy moaned again and pushed her hips up slightly. Spike responded to her and probed her folds with a gentle finger.


Buffy broke the kiss, panting as his finger slid along her inner folds, coaxing her with a soft touch.


Spike smiled and decided to just trust her to tell him if he was getting it wrong, but so far he could tell he was getting it right. He pushed his finger inside her and immediately she clamped around him. Spike groaned and Buffy gasped.


“Oh baby…you feel so good…so good,” he murmured at her throat.


Buffy reached down and gently touched him. He gasped loudly. “So do you,” she whispered, stroking his hard length.


“Bloody hell Buffy!” he exclaimed.


She giggled and suddenly whatever nerves the two of them were feeling vanished, replaced with fierce and compelling desire.


His fingers slipped from inside her and he brushed her clit. Buffy moaned, her legs falling further apart, allowing him better access to her sweet core. Her hand worked him, her movements a little uncertain and shy, but still intense and very, very arousing. For once Spike didn’t want to tell her to stop so he could concentrate on her, but he reveled in her soft touch, working her in the same manner as she was working him.


“Kiss me,” she whispered.


Smiling, Spike kissed her again and again, his tongue sliding over hers tasting and caressing her. She moaned again as he rubbed her faster, her hips rising to help increase the pressure even as she stroked him a bit harder, a bit faster.


Spike pulled back from the kiss and gazed at her. She was flushed, her lips red and swollen, her hair still tussled from her nights sleep. He watched the play of emotions flicker and flit across her face as he increased the speed and pressure on her clit. A small frown appeared between her brows and her eyes shot open. She looked straight at him.


“Spike…oh Spike…please…please…” she moaned.


Staring at her, Spike pushed two fingers into her and rubbed her clit firmly with his thumb. “Come for me kitten…I love watchin’ you come…God! You’re so beautiful Buffy and I want you so much,” he told her. “I’ll always want you…please let go, surrender to me kitten,” he begged.


Her eyes looked glassy and her breathing was soft and arousing, her breasts raising and falling rapidly with her increasing desire. Spike smiled as her hand stilled on his cock and her muscles clenched around his fingers. He’d never seen her worked up in this way before. He was more used to seeing her passionate, almost wild, but now as she stared back him so intensely, he could almost see the erotic thoughts on her expressive face. Never had he felt closer to her, desperately, he maintained eye contact.


Buffy surged up with her hips, as his fingers continued to build her higher and higher. His touch was working its usual magic and she could feel herself floating as he stared at her. Oh god, oh god, oh god…oh Spike, I need you…want you…love what you do to me…love the way you touch me, and I really love the way you’re looking at me…and I love…you, she thought.


Spike gasped, the expression on her face taking his breath away. Fuck, look at her, she is the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen…God! I love her so much, he thought.


She came crying out and clutching him tightly. “OH GOD SPIKE! Yes…yes, yes,” she cried.


Spike kissed her as she lay there, still gasping, still high. Smiling at her, he softly calmed her excited flesh with a skilled touch. She practically cooed and purred, sighing as her breathing returned to a more normal rate. Spike was delighted with her. She responded to him so perfectly. Deliberately, he brought his fingers to his mouth and slowly licked them clean, carefully watching Buffy, as she watched his tongue suck and lick her juices from his fingers. She moaned softly and Spike knew she wouldn’t object to what he wanted to do next. With slow deliberation, he moved further down the matting, pushing her gown higher as he positioned himself in front of her. He could hear her breathing picking up again and he gave her plenty of time to tell him if she didn’t want him to do this.


Kissing her thighs and slowly caressing her, Spike worked his way higher, he could smell her excitement and his mouth watered at the thoughts of being able to do this again…it was so long ago since the last time…too long. His heart soared at this chance to do this for her and the fact she seemed so comfortable and willing only made it more joyous for him.


She didn’t show any signs of doubt or hesitation as his mouth descended on her. Spike groaned. She tasted wonderful and he’d missed this so much…missed hearing her moaning in that certain way…missed bringing both of them this special pleasure and missed being this close and intimate with her. He prayed she would still want more when he finished. Mustn’t let this get too intense, make sure she enjoys it, he thought.


Buffy squealed and giggled as he teased her with his tongue and tickled her ribs with a light touch. She suspected he’d done it deliberately to distract her from the seriousness of the moment. His hands moved higher and cupped her breasts and she moaned in a new way, as his nimble fingers flickered over her nipples and his mouth moved at her core, soft and arousing. Pinching her nipples, he suddenly sucked on her clit and Buffy squealed again. Spike tugged the top of her gown off her shoulders and caressed her naked breasts.


Buffy didn’t think she would be able to hold back, not if he kept touching her in the way he was. His mouth felt so good and he really knew how to make her gasp and burn for him. He kept licking her repeatedly and every once in a while he would suck her clit softly, making her pant and just at the point where she thought she would come, he would pull back and start licking her again. His hands were no less busy, fondling and caressing her breasts and nipples. First soft and gentle then pinching and kneading her, in just the way he knew she liked. She wound her fingers in his hair murmuring his name. He looked up at her and she gasped at the expression in his bluer than blue eyes. Her heart beat stuttered, and Buffy again wondered if he was in love with her. His eyes said yes…so did his touch…soft, delicate like she was the perfect treasure…precious…wonderful and wondrous…and she had seen this before, she was sure of it…he had looked at her like this often and she hadn’t even realized what he was trying to tell her.


She wasn’t afraid any more. This was where she wanted to be and if he gave her the choice to go…to leave…she would choose to stay. She would never ask him to let her go again because she would never want to leave him…You can’t help who you fall in love with, but at least this time I know it’s real, know that he’s real and that I love him and not some lie…can we make this work…how will it effect things…Angel, Masters and our life together…I don’t want to be broken again, and if he’s not in love with me…if I’m wrong he could destroy me, she thought, Oh God, what’s he doing…feels so good…oh God, oh God, oh God…oh yes, do that again… “OH, MY, GOD!”


Spike hummed as she came in his mouth. Her juice flowed copiously and her screams rang loud and clear, filling his head and his heart. That’s it baby…that’s it…God I love the way she does that…never get tired of hearing her, seeing her…watching her, he thought.


Buffy’s legs fell away from his head and she slumped back, against the matting her gown soaked with her sweat. She gazed sightlessly up at the blue and white stripped awning, a boneless happy mass of arms and legs. Spike raised himself above her, leaning on one elbow, careful not to crowd her too much.


Her eyes focused on him…soft and green and happy. She smiled a lop-sided little smile. Spike chuckled.


“How do you do that?” she asked, breathlessly.


He chuckled again, smirking at her. “Do what exactly?”


She blushed slightly. “Do that…that thing with your tongue while you’re sucking…er…sucking…my…me,” she stammered.


Spike laughed, his eyes crinkling up with laughter lines. Sticking his tongue behind his teeth he smirked dirtily at her, his head cocked to one side. “Like that do ya?” he asked.


Blushing deeply, Buffy couldn’t help but be aroused yet again by the way he was looking at her…all dirty and wanting. The phrase ‘sex ‘n’ sin’ popped into her head and she clearly remembered him saying it to her and she couldn’t deny how at this very moment it suited him. He was all sex and sin as he gazed at her…naughty desire, coloring his face.


She smiled shyly. “Yes…very, very much,” she whispered.


He arched a leery brow at her. “Want me to do it again?” He smirked.


“Wouldn’t you prefer to do something else to me?” She smiled.


He sucked in a sharp breath and the dirty smirk and leery brow vanished, replaced with a soft tender look that suffused his whole face and reflected deep in his eyes. “Yes Buffy…I want to make love to you,” he whispered, caressing her face with a gentle touch. “I want to make love to you with my body…my mind and my heart and I want to do it for the rest of my life.” He gazed at her deeply, praying she wouldn’t reject him. This woman terrified him.


Buffy held her breath hoping and praying he would say more, but he didn’t and she guessed he was waiting for her to say something to him. Oh God! This is it…but I can’t say it first…I need to be sure, she thought.


“And I want you to…I want all of you Spike…your body, your mind and your heart…if you want to give it,” she whispered. Her breath was juddering from her trembling body, fear making her heart beat fast and loud. “I’ll take everything you want to give me.”


Spike was breathing hard. His arms trembled as he held himself off her. He knew he’d heard her right – she wanted – terror and longing warred inside him.


Longing won.


“I love you,” he whispered.


Oh God! I can’t breathe. Is this what dyin’ feels like? I can’t believe I told her! I think I’ll die now, he thought.


She laughed, softly. “I know.”


He said it…Oh God…he really said it…he loves me! She thought.


They froze, locked together for an eternity gazing into one another’s eyes.


She knows? How? When? How?


“Buffy?”


“I know…I love you too.”


She loves me? How? When? How?


“Spike?”


“Yes.” What was this emotion that filled his voice…he’d never heard it before…Is this what hope sounds like?


“Do you love me?”


“Oh God, Buffy yes…I wanted to tell you so many times, but I’m such a coward. I thought you hated me. You said you hated me…and now you say you love me…how Buffy…how?”


She smiled at his confusion, relieved she wasn’t wrong. He loved her. “I don’t know how…I only know while Gilbey was trying to convince me you wouldn’t be coming for me…and that you’d told him to get rid of me…I somehow managed to think of all the times you told me you would never let me go,” she said.


Spike was frowning, pained and hopeful. “And I remembered all the times you looked at me so strangely and as soon as I thought of that, I thought about all the times you nearly said it…but I wasn’t sure…until you said it, I wasn’t sure, but when Gilbey gagged me and I couldn’t answer him, that’s when I tried to tune him out and think about you. The way you touched me…and looked at me…things you said to me.”


Spike was scanning her face, a look of shocked bewilderment on his own face. Buffy…oh Buffy…I can’t believe this…what are you sayin’ to me…is this real…please let it be real, he prayed.


Buffy sighed. She could see he needed to hear more. “I remembered the night we went to that hotel. You said I looked like a bride and you made love to me…you were so…so…and it was so wonderful…and at the cabin before we even slept together…you asked me to marry you,” Spike looked scared and Buffy knew she would be right about what she needed to say next. “And the night of the reception you gave me the diamonds that you bought for me, but you’d intended to give them to me at the cabin…right?”


Spike nodded, frowning deeply. Oh God…! Bloody hell…! Bloody hell…!


“That night you nearly slipped and said you loved me…but you covered it by telling me the diamonds were supposed to be a symbol of your affection.”


Spike was very still and she wasn’t sure what he was thinking, but she told him no more secrets and she meant it.


Bloody hell!


“And if you intended to give them to me at the cabin, would that have been after you asked me to marry you…if I’d said yes?”


Spike was damn near rigid. Bloody Fuckin’ Hell! She knows…she knows…


“No more secrets Spike,” she told him.


“Yes,” he breathed. Please don’t do this to me Buffy…please don’t make me hope…don’t crush me…I’m only human luv…please don’t…please…


“Do you still have the ring…the one that matches the necklace and earrings?”


He groaned. “Yes,” he sobbed, almost brokenly. Please don’t crush me Buffy…I’m only a man…in love…


She wrapped her arms around his neck and curled her fingers into his hair. “Make love to me Spike,” she whispered.


A man in love with you. Tell me you love me too…tell me how…tell me you’re mine…I need to hear you say it…explain it…can’t you see what you’ve done to me…exposed me and made me hope…please baby I need you…want you…love you…now tell me you love me too…I want to believe…make me believe…please…


“And as happy as I am to hear you ask me to make love to you kitten, I still need to know how you believe yourself to be in love with me,” Spike said, his voice full of incredulity. “You did say you were in love with…me?”


She nodded.


“How Buffy…how?” Can it be real?


“Again, it was when Gilbey kidnapped me…I dreamt…and some of the dream was frightening. Gilbey and Lily were there and even Ritt was there at one point…but you seemed to fill the dream…even when I couldn’t see you I could hear you…and then in the dream I was dancing with Ritt. I was scared so I closed my eyes…but suddenly I felt safe which surprised me, so I opened my eyes and Ritt had gone and I was dancing with you and I no longer wondered about feeling safe. You were there and I wasn’t afraid anymore, and I could tell you loved me and I loved you back…it was so simple and so very, very real. I was so happy, but I could feel a presence drawing nearer and it scared me…but you told me to not be afraid, to turn around…and it was Lily.” Buffy shivered and drew a long ragged breath trying to steady herself. “She was covered in blood and she was trying to give me her baby…but as I tried to reach for them, Gilbey attacked them…but I don’t think it was really Gilbey…I think it was Angel…and he was cutting them to ribbons. I begged you to make it stop…make it go away, but you were cold and I saw your love for me die in your eyes. You left me all alone and I knew then I couldn’t bare it…couldn’t live without you or your love because I loved you too.”


Spike was gazing at her steadily, not sure if the dream could be taken as proof she really loved him. I don’t know…how can she think she loves me from some twisted dream…I’ll die if this isn’t real…I can’t do this again…love without being loved…she’ll destroy me…oh Buffy baby…please don’t…


Buffy could see his doubt. “And when Gilbey was torturing me…saying all those hateful things…and I…I somehow figured out you were in love with me. I remembered things you’d said to me…such sweet things but I was so blind to them that I missed what you were trying to say to me,” she whispered in a rush. “That night at the cabin…you said I’d always had power over you, right from the very first time you saw me and that you’d crawl on your hands and knees, begging to be allowed into the same room as me, just so you could look at me…I remember it so clearly…you said you’d beg to see me smile, to hear me sigh, or to touch me and that anything I bestowed on you would be worth your subjugation…that you were already on your knees and that only I could raise you up…” Her eyes glittered with remembrance. “And then when we were playing that schoolgirl game…you said you’d have loved to have been my first. The first man to touch me and feel me…the first man to make love to me…Oh God, Spike it was so beautiful the way you said it…your voice was so full of deep intensity, so dark and heavy, yet low and sexy as you whispered to me…telling me how you’d love to have been my first…telling me how you’d have been so gentle, making sure I enjoyed it…and making sure you pleased me…making it so sweet for me.”


She caressed his face with a gentle hand and smiled at him. “There were other times too, and other things you said to me, all of them hidden cleverly because you didn’t want to really say it all out loud in an obvious way…but I figured it out…it took me a while, but I did it in the end.” She laughed nervously for a second and smiled at herself. “And that time on the plane, going to Vegas when I snapped at you about the ribbon…I was blown away by your explanation about wanting me to wear it as a symbol of trust…I could see how much my accusations had hurt you…from that point on, the word ‘trust’ kept invading my thoughts. It was as if a little voice had been born in my head and it wouldn’t shut up…it kept asking me stupid questions…or rather I should say, it made me ask stupid questions…especially after what happened in the holding rooms,” she admitted, feeling remorseful about doubting him then. “And when I was sitting at the table with Wesley, I was so shook up over Ritt showing up and seeing that horrible look of fear in your eyes that it triggered another memory of seeing that same look of fear.”


Spike was gazing at her steadily…absorbing everything she was saying to him.


“At Marco’s party…when you thought I might have to spend the night with him…you looked terrified but it wasn’t until I was with Wesley the next day at the reception that I realized it was me you were afraid for…and I knew after you made love to me on the plane and begged me to trust you, that I really, really did trust you…you and that silly ribbon…and you’re so right…I’m a terrible liar…I can’t even lie to myself, but I guess that’s a good thing because it meant I couldn’t avoid the truth in the end.” She gulped and frowned at him. “Can you forgive me for doubting that what happened in the holding rooms was an accident?” she asked, feeling remorseful for doubting him then.


Spike nodded dumbly. “There’s nothing to forgive luv…I can understand how you could believe it of me,” he whispered.


She smiled hesitantly. “I’ve been so wrong about you, but you didn’t help by keeping so many things a secret…and by acting the way you did. When I think about how I felt when Gilbey told me about the cameras and about you having me followed…and those horrible things he kept saying…but it was still you and not Gilbey I kept thinking about…even when he was…he was…” She broke off, shuddering. “But he isn’t important…you are…because even then, when he kept trying to convince me that you weren’t going to come for me, a part of me knew he was lying…a part of me wouldn’t let me believe he was right and I realized the only thing I needed to worry about was you being unable to reach me in time…because there was nothing he could have said to me that would have convinced me you weren’t coming for me…because I trusted you…and I believed in you…and your love…”


Spike smiled at her, bewildered and dazzled.


“But I wasn’t sure about my own feelings…but those stupid questions kept coming…kept asking me what I felt for you…or if I had any feelings for you. I was so scared and baffled and it really wasn’t the best time to find myself examining my feelings…but I couldn’t stop and some stubborn part of me wanted to know the answer…wanted to know what I felt.” She sighed and shook her head, baffled at the strangeness of life. “And I have to admit a part of me kept denying that I could ever have any feelings for you…but it was a lie and I realized it was a lie when I finally asked myself if it was at all possible to fall in love with you…and of course the answer was yes…and that’s when I knew it was possible only because it had already happened and that I was in love with you.” She gazed at him sincerely, hopefully. “It’s what I believe…what I feel for you…and now I’m telling you I love you too…I love you.”


Spike swallowed, breathing hard, his face nearly crumbling with the effort to hold back the overwhelming emotions that wanted to burst forth. Fear, disbelief, bewilderment, joy, affection…love…so much love…and now finally hope.


She loves me…wants me…believes in me…she knew in her heart I’d come for her…because she believed in my love for her…and she finally saw it because she realized she was in love with me…Bloody hell…she loves me!


“Now will you make love to me?” She whispered as she pulled herself up to kiss him.


He gripped her tightly, his heart overflowing with love for her. He realized she could never lie to him, which meant she couldn’t hide the truth from him, and there it was, lighting her pretty face and eyes. She loves me! Loves me…I don’t deserve her or her love…but God help me I’ll try every day to be worthy of both, he thought.


“Oh Buffy baby…I love you,” he kissed her tenderly. “I love you…love you.”


She kept kissing him. “Show me William…please.”


Then there was no time for more than soft sighs and passionate moans as they finally began to show each other their love. Expressing themselves with gentle touches and deep kisses, gazing at one and another often…awed each time they saw the love shining in the other’s eyes.


Buffy welcomed him back into her body…with love and longing. He moved slowly inside her, giving himself to her…with love and tenderness.


Their passion was strong…their desire deep…and their love was new born…but it carried them forward and swept them away…lifting them higher and higher with the force of a winter storm.


Crying out their fulfillment, they clung to one another…their bodies locked…their minds full of wonderment and their hearts at peace, filled with hope. Free…together.


Spike kissed her. “Marry me…please,” he whispered.


Buffy smiled. “Yes,” she breathed.


THE END.
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Epilogue to follow soon.