Buffy spun around, raising her stake. She lowered it when she saw who was there, and glared. She really didn’t want this right now. She began to walk away.

“Buffy?” She kept moving.

“Buffy, we need to talk.”

She turned to face the bleach-blond vampire. He stood there, leather duster on, staring at her intently. She sighed. “What about?”

He seemed astonished. “We kissed,” he said.

“Yeah, so?” She started to walk again. This time he followed.

She could feel his presence come up beside her. She didn’t look over.

Spike growled. He took her shoulder, twisting her toward him. She flung him off.

He gestured to both of them. “We kissed, Buffy. You and me.”

Her eyes met his. Their hazel depths were cold. “It’s over. And rest assured, it will never happen again. I will never touch you again.”

A choked laugh escaped Spike. “Fine, Slayer. You can pretend it meant nothing. But, I know the truth. You were damn well into me, tongue and all,” he burst out. Then he stormed off.

Buffy made a face. She didn’t want to be reminded of how intimate their kiss had been. And what was worse was it had been her fault. She’d grabbed him and smashed her lips on his. He had been the one to pull away.

She moved across the cemetery at a quickened pace. She needed to get home.

The sound of fighting filled her ears. There, in front of her, was Spike. He was being attacked by some kind of demon. It was red, with long glowing fingernails, and flashing yellow eyes. She’d never seen one of those before.

Spike was knocked down. He got to his feet again. His game-face emerged on his face. He kicked the demon in the stomach.

Buffy smiled. This was entertaining. She was just going to watch for a while. He was a big and tough vamp, he could take care of himself. Somewhere, in the back of her mind, she knew that if he couldn’t, she would intervene. She shook her head at her realization. She would never actually let Spike die.

The demon took a hand and scratched across Spike’s chest. Blood appeared on his black t-shirt. Maybe now was the time for her to save him. She took a step forward.

Spike staggered backwards. His eyes widened at what he saw. The demon held up a stake. Where had that come from? Before he could act upon it, the wood met his flesh.

A loud scream came from Buffy. She stared in horror as the demon staked Spike. The vampire’s gaze fell on hers. There was so much sadness and longing in it. Then Spike was no more, only a pile of ashes on the ground.

The demon smiled over at her. She rushed at him with rage. But before she could meet him, he vanished.

Buffy collapsed to the ground. She tried to stop the tears, but it was no use. They streaked down her cheeks.

She had been right. She would never touch him again.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Two beings had seen what had happened. They watched the girl cry over it.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen,” the female stated.

Her companion nodded. “Yes, I know.”

“What about the prophesy? It will never occur now,” she declared.

“Rest your worries, Sister. We will fix this. We always do,” the male informed.

The female looked over at him, wondering, what he had in mind.

Buffy made it to her home in a daze. She shut the door behind her. Afterward, she crumpled to the floor, leaning against it for support. Her body shook violently.

There was no on left. Everyone had gone. Angel, Riley, her mother, Giles, and now Spike. Her friends didn’t understand, he had.

Sobs ran through her. She buried her face in her hands.

Footsteps approached her. “Buffy? What’s wrong?”

Buffy raised her head. She seemed lost. “He’s gone, Dawnie,” she whispered.

Dawn was confused. “Who? Giles?”

Buffy shook her head. “No. Spike. He’s . . . gone.”

Startlement overcame Dawn. “Spike? What happened?” She knelt beside her sister.

Buffy swallowed. “He died,” she muttered.

Dawn moved slightly away. “No, it’s not true!”

Buffy closed her eyes. “I saw him turn to dust.”

Dawn fell into Buffy’s arms. She hugged her tightly, crying also.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Buffy entered the magic shop. She made her way over to the Scooby gang. What was left of it, anyway. Which, was only Xander, Willow, and Anya. She found that she couldn’t even gather the strength to care.

Xander looked over at her. “What’s up, Buffy?”

Buffy surveyed them all. They were sitting at the round table, staring at her with concern.

“Spike’s dead. A demon staked him.” Her voice was steady and unfeeling.

Shock fell over the group. They didn’t say anything, not even Xander.

Buffy couldn’t take it. She was going to break down again. “I. . . I have to go,” she frantically exclaimed.

“You came to tell us this and then leave?” Xander asked.

She turned. Anger showed on her face. “You must be glad he’s gone. You always wanted this to happen!”

“I may not have liked him, but I . . .” Xander began.

Tears formed in her eyes. “I know you hated him. He meant nothing to you. He meant something to me, though!”

Xander’s mouth hung open. He was in total surprise at how Buffy was acting.

Buffy wiped her eyes. She swiftly left.

Spike blinked. He was in a brightened room. Two people stood on a pedestal. They both had golden skin.

“Who are you?” he asked, pointing at them. “And where the hell am I?”

The female smiled. “We are the keepers. And this is the gate.”

Spike snorted. Can they get more cryptic. “Yeah, uh. . . right then. So why am I here? With you?”

The male spoke then. “You have a choice, mortal.”

Spike laughed. “I’m no mortal, mate. I’m a vampire.”

The beings shared a knowing glance.

“Lower being, we grant you a choice,” the male said.

Spike crossed his arms. “Yeah, what?”

“You can take your fate in the dimension you call hell. Or, you can redeem yourself on earth.”

“Redeem myself?”

The female replied, “Keep helping the slayer. Be our champion and fulfill your destiny.”

“I got news for you, the slayer doesn’t want me around.”

The female descended the stairs. She neared Spike.

The male gave her a questioning look. “What are you doing?”

She smiled. “Showing him what he left behind,” she informed.

She faced Spike. “Come.” She led him to a pool. She pointed to the water. “Look.”

Spike rested his eyes into the liquid depth. Suddenly, it blackened. Ripples went through it, and then calmed. An image appeared.

There was Buffy. His love, his slayer. She was on the bed, curled up into a ball. She trembled. He reached out to her, but touched only water.

“Buffy!” he called. His chest swelled. She was in pain. He wanted to help.

From behind him, the female keeper spoke. “She mourns for you.”

He lowered his head. “No. Buffy doesn’t care about me. “

“But she does. She does.”

Spike froze. Buffy had disappeared from the pool.

Fingers clutched his shoulders. They were warm and comforting. “You can return to her. She needs you. Her heart is reaching out to you.”

Spike clenched his hands into fists. He took a deep breath. “Send me back.”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Light engulfed him. The room faded away.

The beings were alone again.

“Nice work,” the male said.

“I can handle some things better than you, Brother,” the female informed.

“You know I’m not good in dealing with human emotions. Especially love,” he replied.

“Yes, Brother, I understand.”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Buffy jumped out of bed. She took a long breath. She had to get out of here. The walls were making her claustrophobic.

Too bad it wasn’t night. She could use a good patrol.

Buffy went downstairs. She stepped over to the door. A walk. Yes, she would go for a walk.

She turned the knob, pulling the door open. She gasped. Her legs wobbled, threatening to give away.

There, in a heap, was Spike on her doorstep. And he was bathed in sunlight.

Chapter 4

Buffy rushed to him. Her mind was a jumble. He was so beautiful. The only other time she had seen him during the day, was when he had the gem of amara. This was different. He seemed vulnerable, childlike.

Her hand reached out to stroke his cheek. He was real. She reveled in the feel of the perfectly smooth skin.

She eyed his shirt. There were no rips. She lifted it, to inspect his chest. No scars. Her fingers rested where his heart was. This was where the stake had entered. She had seen it. But there was nothing to indicate that he had been injured at all.

Her left hand flew to her mouth, right not moving. She could feel it. The most wonderful thing in the world. The thumping. A steady vibration within Spike. Beneath his flesh was a beating heart. One that hadn’t done so in 121 years.

She noticed the rise and fall then. He was breathing. His lungs were working. He was alive. Not just alive, but ALIVE.

All he needed to do was wake up. Open his eyes and hold her.

She shook him. He didn’t respond. “Spike, wake up!” she said, sternly.

Wetness formed in her eyes. No, not again. She’d been crying too often lately.

Something brushed her tears aside. “What’s the matter, luv?”

That voice, often annoying, was music to her ears. Those blue orbs stared up at her. Filled with love and concern.

Buffy hugged him. He was warm against her. She cried harder.

Spike held her back, very confused. Then he lifted his head and was blinded. He shielded his eyes from the glaring light.

“Bloody hell!” he exclaimed.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

They sat across from each other. Spike was on the edge of the coffee table, her on the couch. It reminded her of when she had come back. They had been in the same position. Except, he wasn’t holding her hands. And the situation had reversed. He was the one to return this time.

She examined him. He appeared to be the same Spike, down to the marked eyebrow. He wasn’t so pale, though.

“I can’t believe they did this to me! I agreed to be sent back, but not as a human!” He was hysterical.

“Spike. . .”

“Those powers love to mess with people. They enjoy it. They’re probably up there grinning in amusement right now.” He looked straight at Buffy. “What am I going to do as a human?”

Buffy slapped him. It was good and hard.

Shock etched his face. “Good God, woman, what was that for!?”

She jumped to her feet. She pointed at him. “For being a stupid, ungrateful, ex-vampire, that’s why. And I’ll tell you what you’re going to do, live. Do everything you should have before you were turned.”

He laughed. “I was pathetic before I was turned. I don’t want to be a helpless poof.”

“You don’t have to be like that. All I’m saying is you have a chance now. You get a future. You can get a job, fall in love, have a family.”

Spike stared at her. He already loved someone, and she knew it. He crossed him arms, his gaze not faltering.

Buffy hated the way he was looking at her. It unnerved her.

He inched toward her. “You know I’ll never fall in love.”

“What?”

“Again,” he added.

Spike turned around. He hoped he’d unsettled her. He knew she was attracted to him. That kiss had come from somewhere. She just wouldn’t admit it.

He headed toward the kitchen. “Got anything good to eat?”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Spike raided the fridge and cupboards. He consumed four sugar cookies and a cup of hot chocolate. He started to search for something else. He settled for a peanut butter sandwich.

He caught Buffy smiling as he savored his food. It went away as soon as he did.

“Look, I’m gonna go take a shower. Eat as much as you want,” Buffy informed.

Spike smacked as he chewed. “Sure,” he muttered.

She left to wash up.

Eating was much more enjoyable as a human. It was so satisfying as it went down and settled in your stomach. His taste buds seemed more alive also. He’d have to get some of those spicy chicken wings he loved.

Maybe being mortal isn’t so bad. He didn’t have to worry about the sun, extra yummy food, and Buffy. . . Could she love him now?

He sighed. He was still the same Spike. If she didn’t care for him as a vampire, she wouldn’t now either.

Spike finished his sandwich as the doorbell rang.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Xander and Willow stood outside the Summer residence. Xander sighed, trying to bring himself to ring the doorbell. He turned to his best friend. “Will she forgive me?” he asked.

Willow gave him a reassuring smile. “I’m positive. She just was upset. I mean, Spike dying is sort of big. He was really growing on all of us.” She stopped, correcting herself. “Well, maybe not you.”

A tiny bit of regret showed on his face. “No, he wasn’t too bad. He did play some good pool. Too bad, now there’s no one to challenge me.”

Willow’s smile became saddened. She knew Xander missed Spike too. He would never admit it, though. It would ruin his reputation of despising every fangy fiend out there.

Xander reached for the doorbell. “Here goes.”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Spike stood up. He wiped the crumbs off the table, onto the floor.

Should he answer the door? He could hear the water of the shower upstairs. It might be important. Buffy was busy and he was the only one there to check. So, he would.

Spike went to the door and opened it. He became face-to-face with Willow and Xander.

The red-headed witch widened her eyes. Her mouth hung open.

Xander pointed at him. “You’re supposed to be dead. Uh. . . The non-undead kind. The dusty kind.”

Spike stepped outside. He glanced up at the sky. Nice day. No clouds, birds overhead. Then he looked back at Xander. “Miss me, Harris?” he questioned with a sly grin.

Chapter 5

Xander sputtered, “Oh no, did you get the gem of amara again!?”

Spike was enjoying this tremendously. He didn’t reply, and kept smiling.

Willow watched him intently. She paid attention to every detail. The sun beamed down on his skin, which was not as pale as she remembered. There was a gleam of mischief in his eyes, that appeared to be playful. His duster was off, which was rather unusual. Then her brain registered it all. What was nagging at her.

“Xander, I think he’s human,” Willow pointed out.

“Always were the smart one, Red,” Spike informed.

“Hey, guys,” came a soft voice.

Everyone turned to see Buffy. She stood half inside, half out. She wore a pair of tight black pants and a white v-neck shirt. Her hair hung loose, still wet from the shower.

Xander stepped forward. He gestured to Spike. “Tell me you don’t see what I do,” he pleaded.

“Sorry, Xander, but I do,” Buffy said.

“ I thought you saw him turn to a pile of dust.”

She nodded. “He was two nights ago.”

A wave of curiosity swept over Willow. “How did this happen?”

“The powers that be sent me back. Except, they decided to throw in an extra surprise,” Spike explained. “At first I didn’t like the idea, but it’s growing on me.”

He looked over at Buffy. Her face was unreadable.

“Great,” Xander said. “It was bad enough dealing with you at night. Now, who knows when I’ll have to see you.”

Spike crossed his arms. He glared at Xander. “That wasn’t very nice, mate.”

“Hey, I’m not your. . .”

He was cut off by Willow. “We have to research this.”

A laugh came from Spike. “What else is there to know? The high ones brought me back here with a beating heart.”

“This goes deeper than that. Like, do you have a soul? Do you still have strength? And most importantly, why did they choose you?”

“Maybe it was my charm,” he stated.

Buffy shut the door. “We can test one of those.” She went out into the yard. “Come here, Spike.”

He obeyed, a little uncertain of what to expect. “What do you. . .”

The blow came. Buffy’s fist flew to his nose.

He staggered backwards. His hand touched his nose. Good, no blood. It still damn well hurt. “Now, Slayer, what brought that on?”

Buffy was in a fighting stance. “Hit me, Spike.”

His eyes widened. What the hell?

“Come on, good and hard,” she went on.

He hesitated for a moment. Memories of pounding headaches flashed through his mind. But the chip was gone, right? It should be. There was only one way to find out. Spike punched Buffy back.

There was no pain. It was wonderful. He had felt the power in it.

They stared at each other. An understanding flowed between them. The two of them were true equals now. The same.

Spike circled Buffy. “Come on, Slayer, let’s dance,” he chirped.

The corners of Buffy’s mouth lifted. She swung at him. This time he dodged it. His fist came at her, she blocked, twisting his arm. He shoved her away.

They moved with grace and passion. Buffy kicked him in the stomach. He recovered quickly. He tried to punch her, but she rolled out of the way.

He smirked. “Good one, luv,” he commented.

Buffy charged at him. Her leg went out, tripping him. His body was thrown to the ground. She flung herself ontop of his middle, pinning him down.

Their gazes met. Spike mustered his energy and somehow managed to switch the positions. They both were panting, aroused by the fight. Spike took a chanced and lowered his face. Before he could make contact with her lips, she threw him off in a panic.

Buffy got to her feet. She smoothed out her hair and clothes. “Well, that demonstrates that Spike is no weakling.”

Willow and Xander were speechless. They stared as she walked over to them.

Spike sat up, a little disoriented. He blinked a couple times.

“That was interesting,” Xander told Buffy.

She remained silent.

Willow cleared her throat. “I’m going to the magic shop. Flip through some books, see if this ever happened before.” She faced Xander. “Can you give me a lift?”

He nodded. “Yeah. After all, I did drive you here.”

“Bye, Buffy,” Willow said. She waved.

“Sure, see ya both later,” Buffy called.

Willow and Xander glanced at Spike before getting into the car. He was just now standing up.

Willow leaned in close to Xander. “I think they both enjoyed that too much,” she whispered.

“Yeah, and dead boy-jr . . .uh ex-dead boy-jr, was going to take advantage of the situation.” There was hostility in his voice.

Willow went around to the passenger side. “Buffy doesn’t seem too concerned about it, though. So, I guess we should ignore it.”

Xander got into the driver’s seat. “That’s the problem! Buffy doesn’t seem to care about it anymore!”

He put in his key and drove away.

Buffy and Spike didn’t talk. He simply went over and turned on the television. He settled on the couch, completely absorbed in Passions.

Buffy sighed. She sat down, not exactly next to him. She tried to focuss on the show, but couldn’t. The plot was outrageous and soap operas never had good acting. She wondered why Spike loved it so much. But, what else was a vampire supposed to do all day until sunset? Can’t sleep all the time.

She felt uncomfortable around him now. Having him on her, feeling his heat and desire, and then lowering his lips. . . She had almost surrendered herself. Right in front of Willow and Xander too! She hated it. He seemed to have some sort of power over her. It was becoming harder to resist everyday.

She needed to do something. Anything to distract her. She stood. “Um, I’m gonna go do some laundry,” she declared.

Spike pointed at the TV. “But Timmy. . .” He smiled. “Okay, pet.”

She shook her head. She would never figure him out.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dawn let herself in. She took off her shoes, placing them near the door. She hung her jacket on a chair in the dining room. Then she headed into the living room.

First thing she saw was the TV, displaying credits. Her eyes fell on the sofa. They became huge with fright. She let out a scream.

Spike got up. “Nibblet?”

Dawn backed away from him. “Stay away!” she warned.

He halted. “Now, Little Bit, it’s me, your pal Spike.”

She pointed at him. “Your. . . Your dead,” she accused. Her head tossed to the side. “Buffy!”

“Calm down, let me explain,” Spike said.

Dawn shook her head.

In a few seconds, Buffy came in. She went over to her sister. Dawn hugged her. She was crying. “I’m hallucinating,” Dawn choked out.

Buffy looked at Spike. His expression showed concern.

Buffy pulled Dawn slightly away. She spoke softly. “Dawnie, what you see is real. Spike’s alive. He came back like I did.”

A sniffle was heard from Dawn. “Really?” she asked.

“Yeah.” Buffy tucked a strand of hair behind Dawn’s ear.

Dawn spun around. Spike remained still, watching her with uncertainty. She flung herself at him. He was surprised, but then held her back. Tears soaked his shirt as she buried herself in his chest.

Dawn lifted her head. She smiled. “Do you know you’re breathing?”

“Yeah, I do,” he murmured.

Dawn tightened her grasp on him. She felt so protected in his embrace. There was no evil in the world at that moment. No vampires existed. There was only Dawn, Buffy, and Spike. A family that would take care of each other no matter what.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Willow flipped through a thick volume at the Magic Box. Xander was over talking to Anya as she counted money. Willow came across a page that caught her interest. She studied it.

“Guys, I found something!” she declared.

“A vampire named Edgar lived in the 1600’s. Before he was changed, he helped defeat numerous demons. After, he was ruthless and unfeeling as any other vamp. One day, all of a sudden, he was converted back to a mortal.”

“Good for him,” Anya stated. She hugged Xander’s arm, glad she was no longer a demon. She wouldn’t have his love, or incredible sex.

“But, unlike you,” Willow told Anya. ”he was turned back so that he could fulfill a prophesy. He was supposed to end the destruction of a gakaka demon.”

“You think Spike has some destiny?” Xander asked. He didn’t look delighted at the idea.

Willow nodded. “Could be. The PTB’s did it for some reason.”

“I have a destiny!” Anya cheerfully exclaimed.

The others stared at her, waiting for her next comment. She leaned close to Xander. “I’m supposed to marry Xander and have children.”

A sigh escaped Xander. He smiled weakly. “Yeah, Ahn.”

Anya grinned proudly. She gave him a kiss.

Willow watched the couple. She was a little jealous. She wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly missing Tara miserably.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Buffy, Dawn, and Spike spent the evening together. Buffy actually found herself enjoying it. Having an extra person in the house livened it up. Usually,

Dawn was locked in her room doing teen-stuff, while she was left alone downstairs.

There was a yawn that came from Spike. She couldn’t help but smile. She had never seen him yawn before.

Spike stood up. “I’m rather tired. Think I’ll head home,” he informed.

“Where?” Buffy questioned.

He grabbed his duster. “The crypt. Where else?”

For some reason Buffy was reluctant to let him go. Normally, she’d be kicking him out the door. She didn’t understand it, and didn’t want to.

“It’s only eight, Spike,” Dawn whined.

“I know, Nibblet, cept I’m used to sleeping during the day. Haven’t, so no wonder I’m sleepy,” Spike replied.

Buffy got to her feet. “You can’t live in the cemetery now,” she protested.

He put on his coat. “Why not?” he demanded.

Buffy opened her mouth. She couldn’t use the excuse that demons were there. He still had strength and could beat them up like always. And, she definetally couldn’t tell the truth. That she didn’t want him to leave.

Spike cocked his head. He looked at her intently. “Is that an invitation, Summers?”

Oh no, she should have let him go. He was going to start getting ideas.

“Yeah!” Dawn giddily said. “Willow moved out after Tara left. The room is free.”

Buffy was torn. She glanced from Dawn to Spike.

“Come on, Buffy,” Dawn begged.

That did it. “Okay,” Buffy gave in. “But only till he gets a decent place to stay. Which will be ‘SOON’.”

Spike was smiling at the slayer. She was crumbling bit-by-bit. Soon she would melt at his feet. He couldn’t wait. Another yawn escaped him.

Buffy crossed her arms. “Wipe that smirk off your face, Spike, and go to bed.”

“Whatever you say, luv.” He went up the stairs, his mouth still curved. This was a miracle. Only months ago, he was not allowed to pass the Summer threshold. Now he was sleeping in it. Sooner or later it wouldn’t be alone either.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Buffy stood still for a few moments. She couldn’t believe she was letting Spike stay there. He was Spike.

Dawn came up. “Buffy. . .?”

“Yeah?” Buffy turned to her sister.

There was an awkward silence. Then Dawn hugged Buffy.

Muffled, against her, Dawn said, ”I just realized how much you guys mean to me. I mean, you died. Then Spike. I’m so glad you’re here. I could be all by myself. With mom. . .” Dawn was crying.

Buffy held Dawn tight. “Oh, Dawnie,” she murmured.

Dawn met her gaze. “You really don’t know what you got till it’s gone.”

Something nagged at Buffy. She wondered what it was. Unconsciously, she looked up the stairs, where Spike was.

__________________________________________________________

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