Just as Buffy reached out to touch Spike’s check, he smiled. Flinching back in surprise Buffy recovered herself and Spike opened his crystal blue eyes.

“Mornin’ love. How’d you sleep? Tell me about your lovely dreams.”

“Actually, I slept pretty peacefully. No bad dreams. That’s always a plus in the Buffy book.”

Feeling none of Buffy’s hesitation, Spike reached out to caress her cheek. Buffy smiled and put her hand on top of his. He looked into her eyes and leaned closer. Feeling the electricity between them he placed a gentle kiss on her lips. A kiss soft and sweet but filled with passion. Releasing himself from her lips he rose up out of bed and attempted to smooth out his rumpled clothes.

“As much as would love to stay here with you, have to get into the kitchen before the little bit wakes up. She’s going to want chocolate chip pancakes. You stay in bed, I’ll bring you your coffee.” He said with a wink and a smile.

Buffy looked back him and pulled the covers over her eyes trying to fall back asleep.

Spike opened Buffy’s bedroom door softly and walked to the linen closet. He pulled out some sheets and a pillow. He carried them down the stairs into the living room. He started to make some kind of bed out of the sheets, giving the impression that he had actually slept there instead of in Buffy’s room. Dawn doesn’t need any more confusion, Spike thought as he roughed up the pillow. Satisfied with the appearance he whistled his way into kitchen.

Buffy grinned to herself, feeling safe for the first time since her Mom died. Everything in this house, this life, was different now. Buffy wanted to resist his plan but she had to admit to herself that he is resourceful. She couldn’t do this on her own. Not that she wanted Spike to take Joyce’s place, no one ever could, but it felt good to have an equal. A partner. Ever since Spike became all -Chips Ahoy-, he fell into the role of her partner. Buffy laughed now at all the times Spike would just be there behind her on her patrols. He just shows up. And now I’m seeing why. Because he loves me. Wants to protect me. But I don’t know if I can ever love him, love him like I did Angel, Buffy thought to herself as she tried to close her eyes and drift off to sleep.

Spike stood in the middle of the kitchen trying to decide what do to first. Opening the cabinet he pulled out a pan and set it into the stove. Grabbing the butter from the fridge, Spike started to heat the pan. He pulled the pancake mix from the top shelf and searched for the chocolate chips.

“C’mon I know they’re in here somewhere.” Spike swore under his breath.

Just as Spike was closing the cabinet door, a sleepy Dawn shuffled into the kitchen. Looking confused, her gaze looked around from the stove to the blond vampire holding a box of pancake mix and a bag of chocolate chips.

“Ummm Spike, what are ya doing? You can’t cook.”

“What do you mean I can’t cook? How hard can it be? Mix, pour, and flip, no big. Ok now I’m starting to sound like the big sis.” Spike laughed as he starting to mix all the ingredients into a bowl.

“Ya know in Paris they make something like these called crepes. They roll these pancakes real tight and fill them with strawberries and cream. Hmmm they were just so yummy”

“When were you in France? I never knew you lived in Paris. I mean you never talk about those crazy adventures.” Dawn asked curiously.

“Well before I came to Sunnyhell, me & Dru ran wild through Europe. We spent months in Paris. Maybe I’ll take you and your big sis there for a vacation when things get a bit more settled around here.” Spike promised.

Buffy had come down to the kitchen, unable to sleep, and stopped at the kitchen archway to witness Spike and Dawn. She watched them and smiled. Spike can be so…normal sometimes. It wasn’t hard to forget that Spike was also an evil vampire. An evil vampire who can flip pancakes in the air.

“So what did I miss? Spike showing off his flipping techniques. This I gotta see.” Buffy said as she walked in.

“Ya know Slayer, I am pretty good at this. I was just telling Dawn one of my stories about terrorizing the young and innocent people of Paris. But you probably don’t want to hear about that.” Spike informed her.

“Buffy, I want to go to Paris. It seems so exciting and romantic. And Spike said he’ll take us!” Dawn said with enthusiasm.

“Oh, I don’t think we can afford a trip to Paris right now. Things are going to be little tight around here for a while until I figure out a way to support us. You understand right?

“Yeah I guess.” Dawn shrugged with disappointment.

Buffy gave her a hug, looked over at Spike serving pancakes up on a plate and walked out to go hop in the shower. She turned to go up the stairs when she caught a glimpse of something in the living room. She looked down at the sheets covering the couch and wondered what they were doing there.

Spike made a bed down here on the couch? Buffy thought to herself. Oh God, for Dawn. He didn’t want Dawn to think he stayed upstairs with me. Buffy smiled to herself as she turned to head back up the stairs. Buffy opened the linen closet, reached for a towel and walked the bathroom. She slowly undressed, grabbed her vanilla shower gel, and turned on the hot water.

Spike and Dawn stood at the center island hungrily eating their pancakes. Dawn was amazed to see him devour something that wasn’t red and liquidy. Spike grinned as he shoved another pancake it his mouth.

“That was excellent! Not so bad if I do say so myself. Want some more, I made plenty.” Spike mumbled.

“No. I’m pretty full. Six is my limit, really. The coffee’s almost done. You should go bring Buffy some before she turns into a grumpy Buffy.” Dawn said.

“Yeah right, wouldn’t want a brassed off Slayer. Hand me that mug over there.”

“A what kind of slayer? Never mind I don’t want to know. I think I’m going to get out of the house and go to school today. Dawn said, passing Buffy’s mug over to Spike.

“Only if you feel like it, I’m certainly not gonna force you.” Spike reassured her as he filled the mug and left the kitchen.

Trying not to spill the hot cup of coffee Spike carefully headed up the stairs. His vampire senses perked up as the scent of vanilla invaded his head. The one and only Buffy scent. His sweet vanilla heaven. Hearing the water shut off, Spike stopped at the bathroom door and waited. After a few moments he used his free hand to knock on the door and pressed his ear to hear her movements.

“Love, I have your coffee here and my hands aren’t helping it keep warm out here. Let me in. And maybe I’ll dry off your back.” Spike jokingly said through the door.

“And maybe you’d like a stake through the heart.” Buffy said rolling her eyes. She wrapped a towel around her body and opened the door. The wave of vanilla steam nearly knocked Spike over. He handed Buffy her mug and followed her into her bedroom. Buffy took a sip and set the mug onto her dresser. Spike sat on the edge of her bed as Buffy started to pull clothes out of the dresser.

“Dawn’s gonna head off to school today. I think she needs to get out of this house and start getting back to normal. Whatever normal is around here. Have you given any thought to what we talked about last night?” Spike asked.

“Ummm, we did a lot of talking last night, Spike.”

“I meant the part about finding a job and things of that nature. Ya know the money thing. Little green pieces of paper, helps buy stuff.”

“Well, I figured I’d check the want ads today and see what’s available, and in walking distance, cause Buffy doesn’t drive.” Buffy pointed out.

“That’s a good start but you’re gonna have to get the paper off of the lawn cause I get crispy in the sun. And starting tomorrow you’re starting driving lessons. You can even practice on the Desoto. It’s so old anyways, not much damage you could do.” Spike said joking around.

“If Dawn’s gonna be a school anyway, I thought…that you could help me with some things around the house. Like the laundry maybe, and the living room needs to be straightened up. Someone left a pile of sheets on the couch and I don’t think it was Dawn.”

“See, the thing with that is…” Spike started to explain.

“Spike, I know why you did it. And thank you for looking out for me like that. It was very sweet of you.” Buffy said, sounding all serious.

“Don’t mention it, love. Put on that purple shirt over there and slip on some jeans. So ya say there’s laundry to be done. I’ll go be somewhere else.” Spike said as he stood up, heading to the door.

“What if I wanted you to stay? Would you say yes?” Buffy asked.

“Wh- what? You don’t mean? Buffy, I….” Spike said walking closer to her.

“Spike, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what you said, how you said it, and I’ve realized that no one understand me like you do. To my friends, to Dawn, I’m supposed to be this hero, this savior of all innocents. But you what, I’m still a girl too. I may never be normal but I know what I want. You have proven so much to me and the little things you do to protect me show how much you really care for me. I need you with me so maybe I should prove to you just how much.” Buffy confessed.

“Buffy, I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything.” Spike whispered into her ear.

“Show me.”

Spike looked into her eyes, put his arms around her waist and passionately kissed her lips. Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck and ran her hands through his platinum hair. Licking her bottom lip, Spike begged for entrance into her mouth. Granting his wish, Buffy mingled her tongue with his, as her towel fell to the floor.

Running his hands over her warm, soft skin, feeling every inch down her shoulders, down her back, Spike kissed her neck with a velvet touch. Softly running his tongue down to her breasts, he took a hard nipple into his mouth. Buffy softly moaned at his tongue made circles over her flesh. She could feel her arousal as her moved lower, down to her stomach, planting kisses along the way. She looked down at him, pulled him back to her lips, and motioned over to her bed.

Buffy, completely naked, laid down for him, and slowly removed his shirt. Buffy pressed her hands on his muscular chest and trailed her fingers down to his zipper. Teasingly she inched it down slowly and allowed him just enough room to pull them off. Spike ran his hands up her thighs and moved them further apart, doing some teasing of his own. He leaned down to kiss her as he guided himself into her already warm body.

The sudden feeling of ecstasy was almost too much for him. The woman he loved was giving herself to him after months of denial and frustration. Spike moved with her in a heated passion, wanting this moment to last forever. Buffy wrapped her thighs around him, tightening her muscles around him, rocking faster. They both released to each other in a midst of moans and cries of pleasure. Spike collapsed onto Buffy’s chest and breathed for air he didn’t need. Looking at Buffy’s flushed and glowing face he knew she was satisfied and hoped not regretful about what just changed their relationship forever.

“Oh my God, that was….amazing.” Buffy breathlessly said in his ear.

“Not so bad yourself there, love. You feeling ok with this?” Spike asked hopefully.

“Yeah I do. It felt good to feel something again.”

“I see…needed to feel something. A little roll around to get the juices flowing again.” Spike said with a twinge of hurt.

“No. I didn’t mean it like that.” Buffy said defendingly.

“Look Slayer, I know that you don’t love me but this changes everything.” Spike said.

“I know…can we talk about it later? I have so much on today’s agenda. And this was so not on my list.”

Spike eased off of her gently and searched for his clothes. Buffy got out of bed as well and grabbed the clothes she laid out on her chair. After dressing she pulled her hair back into a ponytail, took Spike’s hand and intertwined it with hers. Giving a reassuring smile she led him out into the hallway and down the stairs. They walked together to the basement door, flicking on the switch on her way down the stairs. When they reached the bottom, Spike was amazed at all the piles of clothes that had accumulated since Joyce passed away.

“I guess you can tell who took care of everything around here, Mom always did our laundry, cooked for us.” Buffy looked up at Spike with tears forming in her eyes.

“C’mon Buffy, it’s gonna be ok. Its just part of moving on.” Spike said as he took her into his arms. “I’ll start sorting these and you go see if there’s anything left behind in Nibblet’s room”

“Great. More stairs. I’ll be right back.” Buffy sulked.

Buffy released him and turned to walk up the stairs. She went into Dawn’s bedroom and gathered up some clothes from the floor, put them into her basket and made her way back to the basement. As she was turning the basement knob, the phone rang.

“Hello?” Buffy asked.

“Buffy, its Dad. I just got your message, I was out of the country. I’m so sorry.” Hank said.

“Oh Dad, I’m so glad you called, I tried to find you. Mom’s gone.” Buffy replied with sadness.

“I know honey. I’m coming to Sunnydale to see you and Dawn. We can talk about some things when I get there. I arranged to fly out there tomorrow morning.”

“Ok ummm so I guess I’ll see you then, huh? Thanks Dad, we really need you.”

“Bye honey.” Hank said.

Buffy wanted to add …. this time but didn’t want to start a fight over the phone. Already feeling better, Buffy grabbed her basket off the floor and started down the stairs. With a big smile she laughed when she saw how Spike had actually separated the towels, jeans, and shirts into three correct piles.

“I left all of the- um- delicate things- over there you to take care of. Who was that on the phone, love? Another long lost relative?” Spike said, grabbing the detergent.

“Yeah I guess you could say that. It was my Dad. He’s coming here tomorrow, Spike. He’s finally coming to see me & Dawn. Oh my god, the house is a mess!” Buffy shrieked in horror.

“Slayer, its not so bad. Relax. He’ll understand if it’s not up to Martha Stewart’s standards.”

“Spike, you don’t understand. My dad coming here is such a big deal to me. He never visits, we always go to see him. It means so much, Dawn’s gonna be so happy.”

Buffy started the machine and turned from him to go upstairs to make her list of chores that have to be finished before Hank’s arrival. Spike followed and started to load the breakfast dishes into the dishwasher.

“Ok let’s see here. Vacuum all the rooms, polish the dining room table, laundry check, oh wait I’ll turn the dishwasher on, dishes check. I can’t think straight. My head is spinning. What else is left?” Buffy asked.

“That about covers everything, I think. Want a bite to eat before we start Mission Impossible? You didn’t try my pancakes. Let’s see what ya got in the fridge here.” Spike said, opening the fridge.

“I know Willow’s mom brought over some kind of chicken casserole thing. Could be edible. Yeah I think I’ll try that. Can you set the table and I’ll heat that up for us.”

Spike walked over to the cabinets, pulled out two matching plates, and silverware from the drawer. Grabbing two napkins from the island he set the dining room table, in perfect etiquette. Pulling out his gold Zippo lighter he lit the center candles. Buffy carried in the heated casserole dish, a bottle of Pepsi, and stared at the romantic setting he prepared.

“Check out Mr. Smooth. Candlelight, nice touch. You know Spike you already got me into bed once today. Hope you like Pepsi cause I could heat up some blood for you if…..”

“No Pepsi’s fine. And I don’t need a reason to make things lovely for you.” Spike said with affection.

“Never cease to amaze me, ya know that.” Buffy said as she served him a piece of casserole.

Having a normal meal together, they talked about the rest of their day and how they would explain Spike’s new living arrangements to her father. It was decided to just be up front and honest. Spike had moved in to help out with Dawn and house stuff until Buffy decided what do next.

“He’s just gonna have understand that I can’t do everything myself.” Buffy stated honestly.

“We’ll make him understand, in my opinion he doesn’t have much of say anyway.”

“He’s still my dad, Spike.”

“Yeah some Dad.” Spike said with a rising temper.

“Can we not do this, let’s just have a nice lunch. I’m just glad that’s he’s coming.”

Buffy got up and took their plates into the kitchen and began rinsing them off while Spike returned the soda and casserole to the fridge. He turned to face her, held her wet hands in his and placed a kiss on her lips. He released her hair from the ponytail and smoothed it from her face. She kisser him harder this time, passionately massaging her tongue with his. Feeling aroused Buffy pulled away and laughed.

“As much as I would love to finish this, we have a lot of work to do.”

“Sorry about what I said about your dad. It just kills me how you excuse the way he treats you and Dawn.”

Buffy looked down at her feet, unable to meet his eyes. Knowing he was right, she always denied herself from feeling any resentment. She did feel abandoned, the first man she loved to leave her. But to her this might be a sign that things had the potential to get better. She hoped that maybe with her mother gone, he would become a figure in her life. Be the father that she needed, that Dawn needed. In Hank’s absence Giles had filled that void, been her father figure. But he still wasn’t blood.

“It’s just so hard, sometimes I feel that he doesn’t even love me. Giles is more of father to me and that’s not right. My dad doesn’t even know that I’m the Slayer. Can you imagine his reaction to that?” Buffy asked Spike.

“It will all work out, one thing at a time. I promise.” Spike said taking Buffy into the comfort of his arms.

Buffy and Spike spent the rest of the day making the house presentable. The difference was amazing. So much that when Dawn walked through the front door she thought she came to wrong house. The floors shined, the magazines organized, dishes put away, laundry folded. When Dawn reached her bedroom door she found a note from Buffy:

“Surprise? Ugh! Oh no, not more leftovers.” Dawn rolled her eyes, turned the knob, and walked into her room.

She walked over to her stereo, stepping over discarded clothes, and turned on the radio low enough not to wake Buffy. Sleeping, yeah right, Dawn thought as she started to pick up her dirty clothes and stuff them into her closet.

Hearing Dawn’s bedroom door close, Buffy lazily opened her eyes and noticed how darker the room got since falling asleep with Spike by her side. She eased out of Spike’s arms and rose to look at the setting sun. She opened the blinds to let the radiant colors of orange, red and purple fill the room. She watched the sun sink lower into the horizon and felt hypnotized by the colors. She almost jumped when she felt the vampire’s arms wrap around her waist. She took his hands into hers and felt safe, content, not alone. Spike would always be by her side, till the death.

“I have a long road ahead of me. I feel scared, Spike. What if my dad doesn’t think I can support Dawn on my own and tries to take her away? I can’t lose my Mom and Dawn in the same week.” Buffy confided in him.

“First thing, you aren’t alone, ever. You have Wil & Tara, the whelp & Anya, and you have me always. I promised you that I would never leave you. We’ll make him understand that this is the place for her to be. We’re her family…I mean I feel like a family. Any vows I make to you I also make to her.” Spike pointed out.

“Thank you. You always know what to say to make things better. I know I can count on you to be by my side. I should go see Dawn, fill her in out the big news.”

“Do you want me to come with you or….”

“Yeah ya know maybe I should do this alone, no offense. It’s a sister thing.”

Spike followed her out of the room and gave her a quick kiss as she knocked on Dawn’s door. He headed down the stairs to search for something for dinner and to turn on the lights. Buffy took her note off Dawn’s door and hugged her sister tight when the door opened. Caught off guard, Dawn nearly fell to the floor as Buffy started laughing.

“Buffy, you’re loony tunes. What’s wrong with you? And what’s with the big secret? Dawn asked.

“What secret- nobody has a secret. I do have a big surprise for you. Guess who I talked to today?”

“Who?”

“Dad called today while you were at school and he’s coming to see us tomorrow. Tell me you’re happy.”

“Oh my god, is he really? Really coming here, to our house. I knew he would.”

“He said that he would have come sooner but he was out of the country and just got the message. And he said he loves us and can’t wait to see us.”

“Oh Buffy you have to help me find something to wear.” Dawn said walking to her closet.

Dawn opened the door and all the clothes she just stuffed in there fell back onto the floor. The sisters started to laugh hysterically and Buffy helped Dawn pick up her clothes. Dawn promised to bring them down to the basement after dinner. They joined hands and went down to the kitchen to see what Spike was cooking for dinner.

“I had no clue Spike was so good in the kitchen. His pancakes were delicious. What’s going on between you two?” Dawn asked as they walked down the stairs.

“Nothing’s going on, he’s helping us out for a while. That’s it. Just because he cooks breakfast for my sister doesn’t mean we’re dating.” Buffy said, trying to sound convincing.

“Uh huh.”

“Dawnie I mean it. He’s just my friend.” Buffy stated firmly.

“Whatever you say Buffy. Even if it were to happen-per se- I wouldn’t be against it. I like Spike. He doesn’t treat me like a kid.”

Buffy bit her lip as Dawn looked at her totally unconvinced. They walked into the kitchen and saw Spike at the oven taking out hot lasagna and some Italian bread. The table was already set and the candles lit. He had a satisfied smile on his face knowing his plan worked. They were totally impressed.

“I can get used to this. First lunch and now dinner. I didn’t know there lasagna was in there. Proper nutrition before a night of slaying. Thanks dear.” Buffy said.

“Wow something for dinner that didn’t come out of a paper bag. Can we keep him?”

“Nibblet, all I did was heat it up. Buffy was kind enough to show me how all little knobs and dials on the oven worked.” Spike said with modesty.

“It looks really good.” Dawn smiled hungrily.

“Yeah I does, thanks Spike.”

Buffy and Spike exchanged glances and Dawn witnessed a wink from Spike. She smiled to herself and she knew. Buffy’s a terrible liar, Dawn thought to herself. They talked about her day at school and all the fun stuff Spike had planned for Dawn while Buffy patrolled after dinner. But all their minds were focused on tomorrow and Hank Summers’ arrival. Buffy excused herself and took her empty plate to the sink. Spike followed her out and confronted her.

“You sure you’re ok patrolling alone tonight. I would come if Dawn had a sleepover tonight. You haven’t patrolled since….”

“Oh yeah it’s gonna be a piece of cake…mmm cake. I need something to kill right now. Have a lot of things going on in the brain today. First my dad, then us …sleeping together. I could use some alone time. And I told Giles I would stop by, I know he’s worried about me and Dawn.” Buffy whispered to him.

“Alright, you go do your thing and we’ll be here watching Nightmare on Elm St. part 20. That Freddy guy is such a poof. See ya when you come home.” Spike gave her kiss on the cheek and drew back when Dawn came in to drop off her plate.

Spike walked back into the dining room and Dawn dropped her plate into the sink and gave Buffy a hug. Buffy smoothed her hair and released Dawn to grab her jacket. She took some extra stakes and walked out the back door. Dawn walked to the living room and found Spike settled on the couch, flipping through the channels. After putting in the movie she turned off the lamp and curled up next to him.

After a tough night of slaying and confessing Spike’s new living arrangements to Giles, Buffy came home exhausted. She opened the front door softly and dropped her keys on the foyer table. She stripped off her jacket carefully, trying not to disturb her banged up shoulder. Thanks to two vamps who threw her into a tombstone. She found Dawn and Spike asleep with a quilt covering them. The TV screen showed nothing but static and shadows were moving on the wall. Buffy walked over and looked down at the two people she cared about most in the world. She reached down and touched Spike’s cheek and his eyes flung open. He smiled as he nudged Dawn awake.

“Dawn, you’re sleeping in Spike’s bed. Wanna go head upstairs.” Buffy said softly.

“What happened to the movie?” Dawn asked.

“See I told you Freddy was a poof.” Spike pointed out.

“’Nite guys. Sorry Spike, I guess I was tired after all.”

“It’s cool, ‘nite little bit. See ya in the morning.”

Dawn walked up the stairs and left Buffy and Spike alone to talk. Spike moved over to make room for Buffy and she laid her head on his chest. As he started to massage her shoulder, Buffy flinched.

“What happened tonight? You get hurt?” Spike asked with concern.

“Yeah some vamps roughed me up but its ok, just a little sore. I told Giles about you moving in with us. He was less than enthused and a little hurt I think because I didn’t turn to him.”

“I hate to sound like the voice of reason but he does look out for you. Sometimes he takes over a bit and you need to find your own way, stand on your own two feet.” Spike convinced her.

“I love Giles, he means so much to me but…I just couldn’t to that. Anyways I made the right decision. Would you mind staying down here in case Dawn wants a midnight snack? I haven’t found the courage to tell her about us yet.”

“Yeah sure, don’t mind. I’ll just grab my sheets and get settled down here.” Spike said as Buffy turned and ran up the stairs to get the sheets.

Buffy returned and covered the couch with sheets, the quilt, and two pillows. Making the perfect bed for him to sleep on.

“Ta da!” Buffy said with pride.

“Thanks love. It looks so comfy. Have I told you how much I don’t miss my crypt right now? At least here you get better TV reception and that homey feel to it. Less drafty.”

“Goodnight Spike.”

“Goodnight Buffy. Sweet Dreams.”

“Always”

Buffy started to walk away, turned around to see him pull the quilt to his waist and close his eyes. She turned off the foyer light, locked the front and back door and walked upstairs. She walked into the bathroom, washed her face, and brushed her teeth. Buffy looked at herself in the mirror and smiled. She couldn’t remember a time when she was happier. She felt almost guilty about feeling such happiness the same week she loses her mother but if Spike was right, this was just a part of moving on. Finding legs to stand on and letting yourself be happy. She turned off the light, opened her door, and fell into bed.

Bright and early the next morning, Buffy was awake, dressed in her best outfit, and making the coffee. She had woken Spike and told him to shower. Dawn was still upstairs asleep. Buffy poured herself some cereal, some milk, and grabbed her mug out of the dishwasher. Spike walked into the kitchen, wearing only a towel, and took out a bag of blood from the fridge. As it warmed in the microwave Spike kissed her good morning and she filled her mug with coffee.

“You look beautiful, Slayer. What’s the happy occasion?” Spike joked.

“Maybe you should refrain from any Slayer terms of endearment while my dad’s here.”

“Alrighty then, honey. Sound better?”

“Thank you.”

“Did you see Dawn up there? She really has to wake up soon. I have no clue when he’s going to show up.” Buffy said, her nerves showing through.

“Yeah she shuffled her lazy self into the shower after me.” Spike said, emptying the blood into a clean mug.

Buffy felt butterflies flying all around her stomach. Unable to eat her cereal she pushed it away. Spike gave her a reassuring smile and took her into his arms.

“Ummm, maybe you should think about putting some clothes on.” Buffy suggested, raising her eyebrows.

“Why? I look all sexy.”

“Spike. Yes you do, but I doubt my dad will think so.” Buffy admitted.

Buffy kissed him and sent him upstairs to get halfway decent. Spike grabbed his mug and tickled Dawn as she came in dressed in her favorite white blouse and blue skirt. She was beaming and nervous at the same time. Buffy gave her some juice and offered her the uneaten cereal. Having no appetite either, Dawn just took the juice and started to pace around the kitchen to relax her nerves. Buffy was rinsing out her mug when the doorbell rang. The Summers’ girls jumped and ran into each other trying to be the first to open the door. Buffy reached there first and opened the door. Hank Summers was standing on the porch, holding flowers, a stuffed teddy bear, and a smile.

“Oh Daddy, I’m so glad you’re here. We missed you so much.” Buffy said rushing into her father’s arms.

“My Girls!!!! Buffy, I can’t breathe honey. Dawn, come here.” Hank said holding the two girls.

“Here Pumpkin, I didn’t know if you were still into these bears but I wanted to bring something for you. Buffy, the lilies are for you.”

Buffy took the bouquet of stargazer lilies, bringing them to her nose and smelling their fragrant aroma. Buffy smiled and brought them into the kitchen, reached for a vase off the top of fridge, and filled it with water. Hank and Dawn entered the kitchen arm and arm and Buffy poured Hank some coffee. Setting the vase on the dining room table, Buffy wondered if Spike was hiding upstairs. He should have been down by now…Buffy thought. Buffy excused herself and walked to the stairs. There she saw him sitting on the top step, hands folded, and looking completely out of place. He sat up walking down to her, having second thoughts about meeting the father of the woman he loved.

“Spike, why are hiding? I want my dad to meet you. He’s flown a long way to be here.” Buffy said, taking his hand.

“I’m all nervous, Buffy. I’m an evil monster remember. Don’t mix well with the parental units.” Spike pleaded with her.

“If you’re going to be living here, you have to at least meet him. You don’t have to be best friends but its not like you can leave, daylight remember? Besides I need you to back me up when he starts grilling me about college and careers, and all that jazz.”

Buffy grabbed his hand and pulled him along into the kitchen. Hank and Dawn were chatting away and their heads popped up when the peroxide vampire entered the room. Spike looking paler than normal and silently cursed Buffy for finding him.

“Dad, I want you to meet someone. This is Spike. Spike, this my dad Hank Summers.” Buffy introduced the two men.

“Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Summers.” Spike said extending his hand.

“Yeah, you too. Sp-Spike. I thought it was just going to be just the 3 of us, Buffy?” Hank said returning the handshake.

“Yeah well see the thing is that um, Spike’s been helping me out ever since…Mom died. He cooks, helps with laundry, and watches Dawn when I have to go par- to parties. Really I don’t know what I would do without him?” Buffy said looking into Spike’s eyes.

“Buffy can I speak to you alone for a minute?” Hank said low enough so Dawn wouldn’t hear.

“Oh great, here it comes.” Buffy scoffed under her breath.

Hank walked into living room as Buffy trailed behind. Buffy could tell he was not pleased with her news. Spike and Dawn crept up to the hallway so they could eavesdrop.

“Buffy, is he living here? In your mother’s house?” Hank said with resentment.

“Dad, I know what you’re going to say and I thought about this. I needed help and Spike volunteered. You should taste his pancakes, Dawn ate six of them! And yes, he’s living here.” Buffy said.

“Do you know how this looks to me? Like you couldn’t wait for your mother to be out of the house so you can have your run of it. Move your blonde boyfriend in and corrupt Dawn at the same time.”

“What? I’m not corrupting her. You should see how they well they get along. Oh that’s right, you’re not here! It’s so easy for you to judge me, my friends, and how I support Dawn when you’re God knows where. I’m getting a job to pay the bills, the mortgage, and try to rebuild this family somehow. And I need him to do that, he makes me feel whole for the first time since Mom died. How can I make you understand?” Buffy asked with conviction.

“I’m only looking out for you girls and your best interests. I’m still your father. I’m allowed to do that. I was thinking of actually taking Dawn back with me, to LA. Giving her some change of scenery.”

“You...you want to take Dawn away. I knew it! I knew you would come here, hate my plans and try to take her away.” Buffy yelled.

“No, I wont go. Buffy, he cant.” Dawn cried out, running into the room.

“Dawnie, you don’t have to go anywhere if you don’t want to.” Buffy said defending her sister.

Buffy stood like a brave statue, arms folded, and angry as hell. How could he just come in here, my house, and threaten me with this? Buffy had a million of these thoughts running through her head. She shook her head in denial and utter shock. Her worst fears came true. Her dad still thought she was still the troublemaking little brat, out to corrupt her sister and move her dyed hair punk of a boyfriend before the body is cold. After five years, he still thought the worst. As far as he was concerned, Buffy was incapable of change. On the verge of tears, Buffy became lightheaded and needed some air.

“I have to get out here for a little while. The walls are closing in on me. Dad, we’ll finish this discussion when I get back. Dawn, don’t worry. I just have some thinking to do.” Buffy said looking conflicted.

Buffy touched her shoulder and looked at Spike. She tried to tell him with her eyes that she was ok but his face softened with worry anyway. Buffy grabbed her denim jacket and slammed to door behind her. She walked down the block and just kept going. Not sure which way to go and trying to make sense of the chaos erupting at her house she found herself on top of the hill overlooking Sunnydale. Buffy sat on the hard ground and closed her eyes. Closed them to shut out all the voices she heard. Her mind wandering and spiraling in different directions.

Trying to be responsible, selfless, and secure came so easily to Joyce. She always knew the right thing to say, always knew when a hug would ease Buffy’s pain. Flashing back to all the times she would come home late and Joyce would be up, waiting for her with a cup of hot chocolate. Buffy laughed at the rare occasion Spike would be there, keeping Joyce company, with a smirk on his face when she came through the door. Always hating the fact that Joyce found comfort and friendship with Spike, Buffy was behind all the animosity. Behind all of the nights it made her skin crawl that this monster was alone with her mother and her sister. She was convinced now that Joyce would be happy for her, that she found someone trustworthy and deserving. The same man who came to her unneeded rescue every night. The same man she is holding on to, wanting, and needing like the air she breathes.

Feeling the awkwardness of the situation, Spike retreated into the kitchen. He pulled out the soda and poured a glass for himself and Dawn. Trying to make nice, he poured Hank cup of coffee. Carrying the glasses into the living room he gave a small smile to Dawn sitting on the couch.

“Here little bit. Mr. Summers, I know we don’t know each other well but I do love your daughters. My intentions are nothing but honorable.” Spike said, handing the mug to Hank.

“You’ll understand if I have trouble believing you, Spike. My daughter has never mentioned you to me before. How do I know you’re not taking advantage of a vulnerable girl.”? Hank asked, looking for some answers.

“If you know anything about Buffy, it’s that she is anything but vulnerable. I have never meet anyone how’s more stubborn, strong, and capable of handling herself or anything that comes her way. And you can believe me when I say that she’ll fight you on this. Dawn is all she has left. It would kill her to be apart.” Spike said, feeling anger rise in his throat.

“And what I don’t count? I’m nobody in this house? I’m family, you’re not. I think you should mind your own business. My daughters are none of your concern.” Hank said warning Spike.

Hank moved in closer to Spike and Spike knew this could get ugly. He tried to keep his temper but Mr. Summers was completely off his rocker, so to speak. Dawn intervened between them, trying to keep some peace and calmness.

“Please, that’s enough. Stop fighting! I can’t listen to this. Spike is right, Dad. Buffy always takes good care of me. She would move heaven and earth for me. You don’t have to come here and play the hero for me. I love you, Dad, but I want to stay with Buffy & Spike.” Dawn said cautiously.

“Dawn, you need someone to be there for you, all the time. You need guidance and parenting. Buffy was always so concerned with her social calendar. Perfect example: Moving her boyfriend in.” Hank said pointing to Spike.

“Dad, oh god. You still don’t see. We may not always get along but I think I should have a say about my future. If Buffy is willing to go out and get a depressing job selling burgers, or at the Gap, just to support me than I owe it to her to stay. And I know she wants me. You can’t say the same thing.” Dawn said running into Spike’s arms.

Spike wrapped his arms protectively around Dawn and Hank tried to free her from his grasp. Wrestling for control, Spike held tighter as Hank tried to pull her closer to him. Crying and confused, Dawn let go and ran up the stairs and slammed her bedroom door.

“How dare you manhandle my daughter like that, you punk!” Hank spat out in rage.

“You talk about manhandling. Who was the guy pulling her away from me, oh yeah that was you. News Flash Pops! She wants me because I won’t walk out on her. Bloody hell, even Buffy knows that I’ll never walk out on her. She can depend on me. And she can’t say the same about you.” Spike fired back.

“What happened between Buffy’s mom and myself had nothing to do with her.” Hank stated firmly.

“Yeah you might try telling her that because she feels guys are supposed come in and out of her life. But see, I promised her I never would. And I intend to keep my promise, to the death.” Spike said.

Buffy sat with her arms wrapped around her legs, rocking herself. She sat alone for what felt like an eternity sorting through her feelings and rehearsing the words to take control of this situation. As much as she loved her dad, it hurt how little he saw her growth into an independent and dedicated person. When she looked up she noticed the sun just above the horizon, making way for the night sky. The evening stars shone faintly and freckled the imminent blackness before her. The darkness came quickly, engulfing Buffy as she shivered from the sudden wind flowing through the trees behind her. She held herself tighter as she hoped the cold breeze would take away the tears rolling down her face.

Feeling prepared to fight for her family, Buffy wiped the tears off her cheek, stood up, and brushed the dirt off her jeans. She ran her hands through her hair and started to walk away. Looking back and smiling, she set out for the newest juncture in her life. For the first time in years, all the times coming to this hill, her spot, she wasn’t crying over Angel. This time her thoughts were possessed by a blonde vampire. Spike invaded her every emotion, flooded her every being, and gave her strength when she had none. Over these last couple of days, he showed a glimpse of himself never seen by her but was always there on the inside. At those final thoughts, a small smile came over her face as she descended down the hillside and started on the road back home.

TBC in “Matters of the Heart”

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