A Fluffy Interlude

These were written by my sister, Flick, as a way of possibly ending the series. I thought they were so damn funny that I had to post them

The Spike Ending

[Willow approaches Angel, her face looking very stern]

Angel: It's Buffy, isn't it?

Willow: Yes, she's in love with Spike now.

Angel: SPIKE?!?!

Willow: Spike also asked me to give you this message.

[Willow whips out a stake and dusts Angel where he stands]

Buffy: Spike my love, now that the whining brooding soul filled nancy boy who, for so long, has been the thorn in my side which has prevented me from acknowledging my true feelings for you, there's nothing left to stop you from making love to me for the rest of my life.

Spike: Anything you say, petal.

Glory: Not so fast!

[Spike stares at Glory and unleashes his hidden powers which cause her to explode]

Buffy: Oh Spike, you're so brave!

[Spike picks Buffy up and carries her off in an ending which looks suspiciously like 'An Officer and a Gentleman'. 'Up Where We Belong' plays in the background.]

The Buffy Ending

Buffy: Tell Giles I figured it all out! I'm okay!

Spike: BUFFY!

[He jumps up onto the platform accompanied by overly loud and overly dramatic romantic music]

Spike: Buffy, I love you! Screw Glory and that lot and run away with me today!

Angel: Oh no you don't!

Buffy: Angel!

Angel: I won't permit it...unless...hey Buffy, ever had a threesome with two vampires?

Buffy: Hmmm...tempting.

Dawn: Buffy, seeing as how I'm always in trouble and forcing you to rescue me, I'm off to a nunnery to learn how to be a closed, quiet person who will never get into trouble.

Buffy: Good for you, Umad.

Dawn: It's Dawn.

Buffy: Whatever.

Giles: I, too have been thinking. I've decided that rather than pester you about the responsibilities of a Slayer, I'm going to shut myself away into a libraryand only speak to you if you need me to.

Willow: Tara and I are off to do a road trip Thelma & Louise style.

Xander: And Anya and myself have decided to get hitched in Vegas so we don't draw the audience's attention away from you and Spike as well as removing the only two remaining obstacles between you and an eternity of bliss with your bleached boyfriend.

Spike: Then, shall we?

Buffy: Oh, Spike!

[They kiss with extreme passion]

The Spikey Doo Ending

Spike: Buffy, the one person I ever truly loved! Gone!

Buffy: No I'm not! I was just pretending to be dead to lure Glory into believing she was finished so we could get to her.

Willow: Wait a minute, that's not Glory. That's a mask!

Tara: Let's see who it really is.

[Anya pulls off Glory's mask to reveal...]

Buffy: Oh my God! It was Riley all along!

Riley: Yeah, and I would have got away with it too if it weren't for you pesky kids!

Buffy: Let's run him in.

Xander: Good work, Spike. Here, have a Spikey Snack.

Spike: Ranks, Rander.

The All Round Happy Ending

Buffy: Tell Giles I've figured it out! I'm okay!

Spike: Buffy, please! Before you jump! I love you!

Buffy: ....really?

Spike: Yes! MARRY ME!

Buffy: Oh, Spike! I thought you'd never ask!

Glory: You know, having seen how much people love another, I've decided that perhaps being evil isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Buffy: You know, Angel's single.

[Glory flies off to L.A]

And so, Spike & Buffy got married and nobody really cares what happened to everyone else.