“When Heroes Fall”

Spike could feel his eyes watering up again as he raised his hand to knock. He wasn’t sure he could do this, not after what he had done to her. He sniffled and knocked quickly before he lost his nerve. He stood there a few moments, waiting. No one answered. He sighed and sat down on the steps, running his hands through his unruly hair. He’d wait for her, they had to talk.

“Spike?”

He turned to find Buffy standing in the doorway, her hair up in a towel and body clad in a tanktop and pajama pants. She must have been in the shower when he had knocked… in the same bathroom he had almost raped her in. He swallowed the lump in his throat and attempted a small smile, but failed miserably. “‘ey pet.” He greeted, standing.

“Spike, what the Hell happened to you?” She asked, stepping outside to stand in front of him. His eyes were puffy and red, and despite the fact that he was dead, the blue orbs were no longer full of life. They were dull, glazed over by unspilt tears. He looked pale, well, paler then usual, if that was possible. She tried to look cross with him, but she couldn’t bring herself to be as mad at the vamp as she had expected to be. He looked too…. Pitiful.

“I’m so sorry, Buffy…” he whispered.

“Where were you, Spike? It’s been four months…” She questioned, scanning his face. God did he look horrible.

He couldn’t help but give her a small grin. “You really wanna know where I was?”

She smiled lightly when he grinned. It made him look much less like a ghost of his former self. “Yes.”

“…Africa.”

Buffy’s face scrunched up. “…Africa?” Spike nodded. “Africa as in…” she shook her head in disbelief, smiling a bit herself. “You were in Africa?”

“Yup.”

“Why the Hell would you go to Africa?”

His smile faded and he sighed. “Slayer, after what I did to you, I felt horrible. I felt guilty. For the first time I actually felt like the monster you always accuse me of being. I didn’t know what else to do, so I…”

“..went to Africa?” she finished for him, smirking. “I mean, if you were gonna run away, wouldn’t it make more sense to, I don’t know, go somewhere worth running? You know, maybe the Caribbean, Mexico, Florida….”

“Those places would all be bloody peachy for vacationing if I didn’t suffer from a severe allergy to the sun.” He smiled as he shook his head. “‘sides, I wasn’t running away. I didn’t want to be anywhere but here…with you.”

“Then why the Hell did you leave, I mean, it sure looked like you were running from my perspective.” She demanded. How dare he show up after four months and expect to be welcomed back with open arms.

Spike sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “It’s kind of a long story.”

“I have all night.” She answered quickly, crossing her arms over her chest.

Spike nodded and looked around, trying to gather his thoughts. It had been much easier to talk to her when he had rehearsed what he was going to say in his head, but now that she was right in front of him he was at a loss for words. He watched as she ran her hand up and down her arms. “You’re cold.” He pointed out.

“Huh? Oh yeah, a little. I’ll be fine.”

“I’d give you my coat, but I sort of left it here ‘fore I left.” He said with a shrug.

“Yeah, it’s inside.” She sighed and dropped her arms to the side. “Come on.” She instructed, pushing the door open and stepping inside. She closed it quietly as he followed her inside. “We have to be quiet, Dawn’s asleep.”

He smiled slightly. “How’s she doing?”

Buffy sighed and shook her head. “Well, if you really wanna know, she’s pretty pissed at you for leaving.” She watched as he nodded his head glumly, understanding. The girl had every right to be mad at him. “But other than that she’s been great. She’s doing better in school, she’s started working at the Magick Shop with Anya for extra cash, and… well, she’s been training with Giles.”

“Training? Giles? When did he get back?”

“A little while after you left…” She said softly, diverting her eyes to the ground.

“Buffy, what’s wrong?” He asked softly, ducking his head down to look her in the eye. “What happened?”

She smiled grimly and shook her head. “When you left, Warren showed up. He…he tried to kill me. He shot me.” She watched as Spike’s eyes went wide. “I was taken to the hospital, I almost died. But then Willow showed up… God. There was something wrong with her. She was pale, her hair was black, she wasn’t Willow anymore.” She shook her head. “She saved me, then insisted on looking for Warren. We went after him, found a robot instead. Then she told us… she told us that he had killed Tara. He shot her when he came after me.”

“Pixie’s dead?” he asked softly.

Buffy nodded. “Willow was using magick again. A lot of it. She disappeared so me and Xander headed back here. When we went upstairs, Dawn was up there, with Tara. God, she was so upset.” She looked up at him, her eyes watery. “She wanted to stay with you, but you weren’t there. I left her with Clem and went to look for Willow myself. Me, Xander, and Anya found her in the woods… with Warren. She had killed him, but not just killed him, she had tortured him, shredded him apart. It was so awful… ” she shook her head once more. “Then she went after Jonathan and Andrew…”

“Andrew?”

“That other guy.”

Spike nodded understandingly.

“Anyway, Willow started to tear the jail apart trying to get at them. I mean she was literally tearing the place apart, brick by brick. I showed up and got them out of there. Xander stole a police car and we tried to get away. She somehow got control of a semi and started ramming us, but she ran out of power. We took Jonathan and Andrew back to the Magick Box and Xander and Anya worked on a protection spell for them. I went after Willow. She was at Rack’s, with Dawn. She had drained Rack’s power and was trying to change Dawn back to whatever she was before when I showed up. She teleported us back to the Magick Shop and tried to kill those two goons, but couldn’t use magick to hurt them because of the protection spell, so she put a spell on herself. She made herself strong. And then we fought…” she closed her eyes at the memory of having to fight her best friend.

“Buffy…” Spike looked at her with loving eyes as he placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

“Well, Xander, Dawn, Jonathan, and Andrew took off. Anya stayed to keep the spell going. Willow beat the crap out of both of us and then Giles showed up. He had some magick from a covent and put a binding spell on her. She brainwashed Anya into freeing her a little while later and sent a magick ball of fire after Jonathan and them. I went after it because it would have killed Dawn and Xander too. Willow stole Giles’ power while I was gone and nearly killed him. I got to Xander and them just as the fire thingy hit. Xander was knocked out and me and Dawn fell down into some type of burial pit. Jonathan and Andrew disappeared. Then Willow…she tried to end the world. Dawn had to help me fight these demons she sent after us and Anya stayed with Giles because he was just about dead. Xander found Willow as she was summoning some ancient satanic temple. He stopped her.”

“Whelp?”

“Yeah, Xander stopped the apocolypse.” Buffy said, smiling a bit herself. “Giles got better, Dawn’s been training with him, Xander doesn’t feel so useless anymore, him and Anya can hold a civilized conversation now…. But Willow’s different. I don’t think she ever be the same…” she trailed off, looking to the ground.

“I’m so sorry, Buffy…” He said gently, pulling her into his arms. She sighed heavily into his chest, taking in everything she had just said. Saying it out loud only made her realize how horrible things had been. Spike pulled away from her, smiling as he brushed her hair from her face. “What about you?”

“What?” she asked quietly, looking at him with a confused expression.

“You told me ‘bout everyone else, but how are you doing?”

She smiled and shook her head. “I’m hangin’ in there.” She ran her hand over her face and looked at him, “I’m sorry, God. I doubt you wanted to hear all that.” She shook her head once more and rolled her eyes. “So, what exactly did you do in Africa.”

He smirked and scratched his head. “Well, it’s not nearly as exciting as what you did while I was gone…”

TBC….

**********

Part 2:

Buffy sat on the couch, staring wide eyed at Spike. He was standing in front of her, not sure what else to say. “A soul?” she asked quietly.

“Yeah pet, seems I didn’t quite want what I thought I did.” He said, sitting down next to her.

“That’s why you left?” She asked, looking over at him. “To get your soul back?”

“Not quite.” He sighed and rubbed his hands together, dropping his eyes to the floor. “I never really wanted to be a poof like Peaches…Iwenttogetthechipout.” He mumbled, not looking at her.

“What?” she asked, taken aback. “You wanted the chip out?’ She felt more let down in hearing that one statement than when she had seen him and Anya together… He wanted to be a killer again.

“I thought so. I figured that if I got the chip out I could just be me again, you know, go on some mad killing spree… maybe come back here, kill you lot.” He took an unnecessary breath. “Or..”

“..or?” she asked softly, trying to get him to look at her.

“Or I’d come back here and prove to you it wasn’t the chip that kept me from killing. It was you.” He looked into her eyes and shrugged. “I thought that was what I wanted, but that demon knew it wasn’t true, even if I didn’t. When I finished the trials, I told him…I told him to give me what I needed to take care of you, to give you what you deserved. I thought I wanted to get something to hurt you, but wound up with a bloody soul instead…”

She stared at him in shock. He had wanted to kill her. “Why?”

He shrugged. “I didn’t have anything else to point a finger at, so I blamed the chip. I know I could hurt you before, but just the thought of it drove me mad. I would never have hurt you, Buffy. Never. I guess I thought it was the chip that made me love you and if it was gone I could kill you with no problem.” He smiled and shook his head. “Boy was I wrong…”

“It doesn’t work anymore?” she asked softly, trying to take all this in. Spike went to Africa to get the chip out. He got his soul back instead. And now the chip didn’t work? Dammit, she hated her life.

“No.” he answered simply.

“Have you…”

“…killed anyone? No.” He looked back to the ground nervously, resting his hands in his lap. So what if he hadn’t killed anyone? That was no reason for her to forgive him, not after what he had done to her. His eyes shot up as she entwined her small hand in his and smiled.

“Thank you.”

He looked at her like she was mad. Okay, not quite what I was expecting… “You feelin’ okay, Slayer?”

She smiled and shook her head. “Spike, believe it or not, seeing you again was the best thing to happen in the past few months. Everything’s been Hell: Willow’s depressed, Giles is leaving soon… As hard as it is to believe,” she sighed and looked at him. “I missed you…. a lot”

----------

“So Dawn’s really fighting demons and what not now?” Spike asked, his hands buried in the pockets of his duster as he walked alongside the slayer.

Buffy smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I won’t let her patrol by herself, but she comes along with me. She’ll probably be pretty mad that we didn’t wake her and bring her with us.”

“She’ll probably be pretty mad that I’m back.” Spike corrected.

“Maybe, but she’ll get over it. She loves you.” Buffy assured him.

He chuckled and shook his head. “Remind me to have a chat with her about that, it’s an unhealthy habit.”

“Yeah, I guess vampires and love don’t mix very well. I mean, look at what happened with me and Angel…” She halted and looked at him. “You don’t have that little…clause, do you?”

He grinned. “Nope, no soul-slipping for me. I’m stuck with the bloody thing for good.”

She couldn’t help but smile as she started to walk again. “Good.”

“What’s that s’posed to mean?” He asked, grinning. God, he hadn’t smiled this much since that bloody creature had given him his soul. Hell, he hadn’t smiled at all – he cried. But he had been back in Sunnydale for barely more than an hour and Buffy had him grinning like a idiot.

She shook her head but didn’t reply. “Maybe we should head back, the sun’ll be up in a few hours and it doesn’t look like very many creatures-of-the-night are wandering the street.”

“I guess so, ‘sides, you should get some sleep.”

“Me? Look at you, you look like you haven’t slept in months.” She shot back playfully. He didn’t respond. Her face fell. “Oh…”

He shrugged. “Nightmares… well, not really, more like memories.”

“Sorry.”

“S’not a big deal.” He shrugged and grinned at her, trying to lighten the mood back up. “I’ll live.”

She smiled warmly. “Yeah, you will.”

He smiled adoringly at her, amazed. He couldn’t believe how many sides this girl had. One minute she was Pyscho-Bitch-Slayer ready to tear his head from his shoulders and the next she was smiling and joking with him like they were old friends. And you know what? It didn’t matter, he loved every bit of her. “You want me to walk you home ‘fore I go back t’my crypt?”

“Your crypt?” She asked, stopping once more. “Uh, you can’t do that.”

“And why not?” he asked, giving her a coy smile.

“Well, Clem sorta got tired of squatting there and left. Some D’ygryme demons are kinda staying there now.” She said sheepishly.

He remained quiet for a moment. “Bugger…”

“Don’t worry too much,” she paused for a minute. “I went back and got most of your stuff before they could destroy it. It’s all in my basement.” He looked at her, thoroughly surprised. She smiled and offered him her hand. “Come on, you can sleep on the couch tonight.”

---------

Spike laid there on the Summer’s couch, his hands folded behind his head, staring blankly at the ceiling. A silent tear rolled down his face. He had gotten an hour of sleep at most before being jolted awake by another of his gruesome memories. There was no point in trying to go back to sleep so he just sat there, trying to clear his mind. His head rolled over to look at the clock. 7:03am. He sighed and was about to back to his staring contest with the ceiling when he heard Buffy come clomping down the stairs. He wiped the tears from his face and walked over to the stairs to greet her, “‘ey Slayer, sleep g….”

Dawn stopped dead halfway down the stairs and stared at the blonde vampire with wide eyes.

Spike gave her a small smile. “‘ey Bit…”

“Spike?” she asked, knitting her brows together. “When did you get back?”

“Last night.”

Her eyes continued to scan his face as she descended the rest of the stairs. She ran her warm fingers down the side of his face. “God, you look horrible…”

He chuckled. “I’m fine, Nibblet.”

Her shocked expression suddenly faded into one of anger. She pulled her hand from his face for a brief second… and slapped him. “Where the Hell where you?!”

“Bugger…” He muttered, rubbing the spot where she had hit him. The girl could hit, he’d give her that. He shook his head and dropped his arms to the side. “Guess I deserved that.”

“You deserve a lot more than that, Spike.” The teen spat angrily.

Spike took a deep breath and closed his eyes. This was the type of reaction he had expected from Buffy, not Dawn. “I’m sorry, Bit. I had some things I had to think about.”

“What? About how you tried to rape Buffy?” she shot stubbornly.

His eyes grew wide and he looked at her in disbelief. “She told you?”

Dawn cross her arms defiantly over her chest. “…No. I found out… someone told me, not her.” She dropped her arms and shook her head in disgust. “You know, you were the last person I’d expect to run from your problems.”

“Bit, I wasn’t runni…”

“And you know what bothers me the most?” She asked angrily. He cocked his head to the side, watching her angry features. “You didn’t bother to say goodbye, not to her, not to me, not to anyone.” She spat, pushing past him and grabbing her coat.

“Dawn…” He tried to explain as he turned to follow her. She threw the front door open, sending a wave of sunlight over her body. Spike halted, staring at her in despair. He wanted to go after her, but the stream of sunlight prevented him from going any further. She glared at him.

“I have to go to school.” She raised her eyebrows and clenched her jaw. “You’re free to walk with me if you really wanna talk.” They both stood there for a moment, silent, before she shook her head and disappeared out the door. Spike stood there staring at the door is disbelief.

“You okay?” Spike jumped when he felt Buffy’s hand on his shoulder. “I told you she was mad.”

“She hates me…”

“She doesn’t hate you. She’s mad because she loved you, looked up to you, and you left. I know Dawn, she’s glad you’re back.”

He let out a grim laugh. “She’s the only one I thought would be glad to see me… and she won’t even look at me.”

“Spike, she’s not the only one glad to see you.” he turned his head away from the door to look at her. She smiled. “I have to go to the shop to talk with Giles, you wanna come?”

He shrugged.

“Come on, you’ve been on your own for four months, I think some social time would be good.”

“Social time with people who hate me?” he asked skeptically.

“Social time with people who will learn to except you. You gotta start somewhere.”

----------

“Oh, there you are Buffy. I’ve been waiting for you.” Giles said as he looked up from the weapons cabinet in the training room.

“Sorry, had to make a pit stop on the way, pick some things up.”

“It’s quite alright. It’s just…I have something I want to tell you.”

“Oh, good, cause there’s something I have to tell you too, but you first.” She said, smiling. He was gonna flip when she told him about Spike.

He sighed. “Buffy, I’m leaving tomorrow morning.” He took his glasses from the bridge of his nose and squinted at them as if looking for a smudge on the glass, trying not to look at her stricken expression.

“Tomorrow?” Buffy asked quietly. “Giles, isn’t that a bit soon? I mean, what about Dawn? You’re supposed to be training her, remember?” she asked frantically, trying to come up with a reason for him to stay.

“Buffy, there’s nothing I can teach her that you can’t. You can teach her just as well as I can, if not better.” He assured her, resting a hand on her shoulder. “You just have to be strong.”

Buffy shook her head. “What about Willow? Giles, she needs you, Xander needs you, I need you…”

He smiled fondly at the girl. “No, Buffy, you don’t. You’ll be strong, and you’ll survive, just like you always do.”

The slayer clenched her teeth to keep from crying. Why did he always have to leave? Couldn’t he see that they all wanted him to stay here? “Do the others know?”

He shook his head. “No, I’m going to tell them later. I thought you should be the first to know.” She nodded solemnly as he pulled her into a hug. “Come on, we can talk about it some more when the others get here.” He told her as he began to walk towards the door. He grabbed his cup of tea from the table by the door and walked out into the main part of the newly-rebuilt Magick Shop. Buffy followed behind him. “Now what was it you wanted to tell m….” He dropped the cup, shattering it.

Spike’s head shot up from the book he had been flipping through on the table. He grinned at the expression on the Watcher’s face and swung his boots up to rest on the table. “‘ello Rupes.”

“Oh, yeah. Spike’s sorta…back.” Buffy muttered, looking at Giles nervously. She waved her hand in front of his face. “You okay?”

TBC….

Part 3:

Giles looked up from the counter, eyeing Spike and Buffy suspiciously. They were sitting next to each other at the table, flipping through a demon book and exchanging tales of the ones they had fought. Buffy was grinning as Spike told her about one of the numerous strange demons he had encountered in Africa. Apparently the thing had been about two feet tall and found it funny to gnaw on his leg while he tried to sleep. The humorous part? It didn’t have any teeth.

“Why do I have a bad feeling about this?” Giles asked himself quietly, returning his gaze to the bills in front of him. It had cost a pretty penny to get the shop back up and running again, not to mention that half of the items had been destroyed. Part of him wanted to pummel Spike for daring to come back, soul or not, but another part wanted to thank him. He hadn’t seen Buffy this happy in a long time and he was glad, even if it was Spike who was making her smile. She had even seemed to dismiss the fact that he was leaving tomorrow.

“Giles, the last of the supplies are here, you wanna give me a hand?” Anya called from the door, trying without luck to peer over the stack of boxes in her arms as she pushed through the door. Giles walked around the counter and took the top few boxes from her, ensuring that she wouldn’t drop the stack.

She dropped them as soon as she could see.

“Spike, you’re back.” She stated, surprised to see the vampire seated at the table. What was even more surprising was that he was seated next to Buffy… and they were smiling. They were being –civil-.

“So we’ve noticed.” Giles exclaimed, setting the boxes he had managed to save on the counter and beginning to clean his glasses. Something told him that his last day in Sunnydale was going to be quite interesting…

“Come off it, Watcher, you missed me.” Spike chided.

“Oh yes, I seem to remember wanting you around the other day when I had to fill those bottles of Holy Water for the shop’s supply. I thought it would be a perfect job for you.”

Spike scowled. “Ponce…”

“Both of you, stop.” Buffy commanded, looking back and forth between the room’s British occupants. Giles rolled his eyes and Spike grinned.

“Yes Slayer.”

---------

“Hey An, is Buffy here?” Dawn asked as she walked through the door, tossing her bookbag absently on the table.

“Yes. Her and Spike are in the training room.” Anya answered, not looking up from the list of items she was reading.

“Spike’s here?” Dawn asked nervously.

Anya looked up. “You didn’t know he was back?”

“No, I knew. I just… nevermind.” She feigned a smile and looked around. “So what do you want me to do?”

“Well, there are some boxes in the corner over there, I suppose you could put the stuff in ‘em away.”

“Sounds good.” Dawn said halfheartedly. Great, now Buffy would just forget about her again…

----------

Buffy dodged Spike’s punch easily and dropped to the ground, sweeping her leg under him. He landed with a hard thump on his back. Buffy pouted. “You’re not trying.”

“Am too.” He protested, climbing back to his feet. “You’re forgetting, I’m running on ‘bout an hour of sleep.”

“You had another nightmare last night?” she questioned, taking the tape she had wrapped around her hands off. Evidently they weren’t going to get much further with this sparring thing.

“The question is ‘when don’t I?’. Bloody things keep me awake all the time. I think I’ve gotten roughly two days of sleep in the past four months. S’not good for you, even if you’re dead.” He finished, grinning.

“Sorry.” She said, giving him a sympathetic glance. He really did look tired, even if he wasn’t acting like it.

“Don’t fret about it, luv. They have to stop some time.”

“Yeah, I guess….” Buffy replied. She remembered how Angel had told her he still had nightmares… and he’d had his soul for a rather long time.

“What’s a’matter?” he asked, watching her.

“Huh? Oh, nothing.” She muttered, shaking her head. She felt bad for him, he did look like he hadn’t slept in days. She suddenly looked up, a contemplative look on her face. “Do sleeping pills work on vampires?”

He chuckled and shook his head. “Don’t know, luv, but I wouldn’t oppose to testin’ the idea right now.”

“You’re that desperate, huh?” she asked, grinning.

“You have no idea.” He answered, smiling and shaking his head.

“Well then come on, Soulboy. There’s nothin’ t’do around here, we might as well go swing by the drugstore.” She said, grabbing his hand and hauling him towards the door.

“You’re serious ‘bout this?” he asked quizzically.

“Yup. Plus the butcher shop is nearby, we can pick you up some blood.”

They walked out into the main part of the shop. Giles and Anya didn’t look up from their position at the counter, but Dawn scowled at them from the corner. “Buffy, pet, how do you plan on doing this? The sun’s sorta out.”

“We can take the sewers.” She answered simply. She caught a glimpse of Dawn out of the corner of her eye and grinned. “Hey Dawnie.”

“‘ey Nibblet.”

Dawn looked back and forth between the two. “Hey Buffy.” She said halfheartedly before going back to the books she was putting away. Buffy offered Spike a small smile as they headed towards the basement door.

“Where are you going?” Giles asked, watching the pair.

“To get some blood.” Buffy answered, deciding to leave the sleeping pills out of it. Mentioning them would mean the nightmares would come up and she doubted Spike really wanted to talk about them. “We’ll be back in a bit.”

“Wouldn’t it be wise to wait until the sun goes down?” Anya asked, looking at them skeptically.

“Why? It’s not like there’s anything going on here. Besides, we’re patrolling tonight, no time for luxury shopping.” Buffy smiled and began to walk down the steps, Spike following behind her. Giles and Anya’s eyes both shot to look at Dawn as the teen slammed one of the books into the shelf, causing the whole thing to shake.

----------

“Hey! G-man, An, Dawn. What’s up?” Xander greeted as he walked through the front door. Willow followed behind him, not speaking. The sun had just set on the streets of Sunnydale. Xander waited for an answer as Dawn continued to roughly shove books onto the shelf, Anya occupied herself with counting money, and Giles began to clean his glasses. “Well, talkative bunch today, aren’t we?” He commented, rubbing his hands together.

“Long day.” Giles explained.

Willow took a seat at the table and curled her legs up underneath her. “New badie in town?”

Giles let out an ironic chuckle. “More like an old badie, actually.”

“Okay, old as in around-since-medieval-times, or old as in we’ve-fought-‘em-before?” Xander asked.

“The latter.”

“So that would be…”

“The second one.” Giles informed the boy.

“Ahh, so who is it? Adam, The Master, Glory, that big snake thing, the Mayor…?” Xander began to ramble.

“I do believe we get the idea.” Giles interrupted, not needing a recap of all the things they had fought.

“So who is it?” Willow asked.

“Actually, it’s…” Giles began.

“Spike.” Xander spat venomously.

“Don’t be silly, Xander, Spike’s…” Willow started.

“Right there.” Xander pointed out as the vampire and Buffy appeared through the front door.

“Oh look, if it isn’t the Whelp.” Spike said sarcastically. “Now my day’s complete.”

“Great, the bleached wonder’s back.” Xander stated. “You know, you finally do something good – you know, the whole ‘leaving’- then you ruin it by coming back. Don’t you know how to take a hint? No one wants you here, you’re useless.” He glared at the vampire, then gazed at Buffy. “We don’t need you hurting anyone else. You’re nothing but…”

“Xander, stoppit.” Buffy commanded, stepping between the fuming boy and the bleached vampire.

“Oh, so your defending Mr. Attempted Rape now? That’s great, Buffy, let’s all set some good examples for Dawn. ‘Hey Dawn! It’s okay to murder innocent people and then pretend that it’s okay! It’s okay to try and rape people and still say you love them!’” All eyes in the room were locked on him now, shocked, all except Spike, who had dropped his to the floor. “What’s the matter bleach boy? You finally realizing how worthless you are? Are you finally…”

Buffy grabbed her friend by the collar of his shirt, silencing him instantly. “I. Said. Stop.” She glared at him for a moment, making sure he got the idea, then let him go roughly. “That’s enough.” She spat, stepping back alongside the vampire.

“Buffy…” Xander began.

“Don’t.” she ordered, pointing a finger warningly at him. All the room’s occupants remained silent, staring at the trio in the center of the room. Was Buffy actually defending Spike? The world must be coming to an end…

“So, how you been?” Surprisingly, it was Willow who broke the uncomfortable silence. Eyes focused on her, seeing as she hadn’t been one for much conversation over the past few months, she just moped around.

Spike looked back up at Xander, masking the pain on his face with a smirk. Walking over to the table, he took a seat next to the former witch. “Not too bad, Red. How ‘bout you?”

“Eh, so-so, I guess. So, you back for good?”

Spike looked up at Buffy, who was watching them, along with everyone else. He turned back to Willow and smiled. “Dunno, luv. We’ll just have to wait and see.” He looked back up at Buffy and smiled. She returned it before turning back to Xander and grabbing him by the sleeve, dragging him back into the training room with her.

“What’s your problem?” She demanded as she shut the door.

“My problem? Buffy, that’s Spike! You know, the vampire who tried to rape you?”

“Xander, that was… he didn’t mean to.”

“Buffy, I don’t know what you’re thinking, but here in the real world, you don’t accidentally rape someone.”

“He didn’t do anything, Xander.” She ground out.

“He tried, Buffy. And what makes you so sure he won’t try it again? You honestly think four months away from here and he’s going to have a change of heart?” Xander protested.

“118 days…”

“…What?”

“It wasn’t four months, it was 118 days, not quite four months...”

“Whatever, Buffy, do you think 118 days away and he’s going to suddenly grow a conscious?”

She chuckled grimly. “You’d be surprised.”

He stared at her, confused. “What are you talking about?”

“He’s got a soul, Xander. He’s got his soul…”

“But he’s still a vampire. He’s still a monster. He’s a cruel, heartless monster.”

Buffy looked up at him, her features cross. “You know, Xander, if Spike really wanted to be as cruel as you say he is, I know where he could learn. From you.” she shook her head and pushed past him, walking back out into the main part of the shop.

TBC…

Part 4:

“You okay pet?” Spike asked, staring at Buffy, who was seated beside him. She had her arms folded on the table, her head resting upon them.

“Yeah…” she answered quietly. Giles had told the others a short while before that he was leaving, even though the tension in the air was bad enough without the news. Xander had left a little while ago, not wanting to be around Spike any longer. Dawn had gone over Janice’s house for the night, and Giles had gone home to finish packing. Anya was up in the upper part of the shop, sorting through books, and Willow was sitting at the table opposite of Spike and Buffy, just thinking.

“It’s not like he’s leaving for good.” He told her gently, tilting his head to the side a bit. “He’ll be back.”

Buffy sighed and sat up, running her fingers through her hair. “I know. It’s kinda funny, he always leaves when things get weird.”

Spike chuckled. “You’ll be fine without ‘im, Slayer.”

Buffy nodded and smiled over at Willow. “Yeah, we’ll survive. We always do.” Willow gave her a small smile and nod before yawning.

“I think we’re all a bit wiped.” She looked over at Spike, smirking slightly. “Some a bit more than others. What d’you say we blow off patrol tonight? I think we could all do with a bit of sleep.” She looked back at Willow. “You gonna go now or stay here?”

“I think I’ll hang around here for a bit, I don’t think Xander’s gonna be very good company tonight.” She said with a small smile.

Buffy nodded and stood, walking over to her best friend. She wrapped her arms around her neck and hugged her. “It’s good to see you smile again.” She pulled away and smiled at the redhead.

“You too.” Willow said, brightening up a bit and smiling over at Spike. “Goodnight.”

“‘night Will.”

“See y’round, Red.” Spike said, smiling and heading towards the door.

“Anya, we’re leaving!” Buffy called up to the loft.

“Bye!” The vengence demon called down. Buffy gave Willow a small wave before disappearing out the door with Spike.

“She doesn’t live with you anymore?” Spike asked her once they got away from the shop.

“Willow? Nah, she’s been staying with Xander. He’s home a lot more than me and Dawn and both of them could use some company.”

Spike nodded. “So how’s she been doin’? You know, after what happened with Pixie…”

“Well, she’s doing better now. She used to be bad, I mean, locking herself up for days at a time and just crying. She barely ate and whatever she did manage to eat she usually ended up puking up.”

“Thanks, Slayer, I’m no longer hungry.”

“Sorry. Anyway, she started staying with Xander a few weeks after she tried to destroy the world. She doesn’t cry as much now, but she doesn’t talk much. She just seems so… withdrawn from everything, you know?”

“Sort of like you.”

“What?”

“When they brought you back, you weren’t exactly Ms. School Spirit.” He said, smirking.

She smiled. “Yeah, I guess. She seemed better today though. She was smiling. I don’t even remember the last time I saw her smile.” She looked up at him as she walked, giving him a sincere smile. “And it’s because of you. Thanks.”

“I seem to be having that effect on people lately… well, no I take that back. Just you ‘n Red. Everyone else seems to thoroughly despise me.”

“Xander - yes. Dawn - no. Giles - maybe. Anya - no.”

“Slayer, Dawn refuses to even look at me.”

“No she doesn’t…well, okay, so maybe she just glares. But that’s not the point.”

“I appreciate the attempt to make me feel better.” He said, throwing his arm across her shoulder.

“Did it work?” She asked, looking up at him.

“Little bit.”

“Good. Feeling bad is….bad.”

“Glad to see your vocabulary has been extended since I left.”

----------

“You okay?” Buffy asked quietly, poking her head into Willow’s old room. She had told Spike he could take the bed in there since it wasn’t being used. He turned his head to face her, the tears on his face illuminated by the light from the hallway. She gave him a small smile and walked in. “I take it sleeping pills don’t work on vampires.”

He chuckled slightly as she sat on the edge of the bed. “Guess not.”

Buffy tilted her head to the side and watched as he returned his gaze to the ceiling, his hands folded behind his head. “I’m sorry.”

He turned to look at her, confused. “For what?”

“That you can’t sleep.”

“S’not your fault.”

She shrugged. “I’m still sorry.”

“Thanks, pet.”

“No problem.”

He gave her a small smile and sat up, throwing his feet over the side of the bed.

“Where you going?” Buffy asked as he stood.

“T’watch TV. M’not gonna be getting anymore sleep t’night anyway, might as well keep myself occupied.” He walked out the door and turned to stare at her when she followed. “What are you doing?”

“Going with you.”

“Slayer, it’s three-thirty in the morning, go get some sleep.”

“I can sleep downstairs.” She said with a smile. He just shook his head and followed her down the stairs.

----------

“I hate these movies.” Buffy whined, staring at the television screen. “They’re so fake.”

“Buffy, luv, it’s Dracula.”

“I know Dracula and that’s not what Dracula looks like.”

He chuckled and shook his head. “Whatever you say, now scoot over, you’re hoggin’ the couch.”

“Am not.” She protested, looking over at him. He was sitting at one end of the couch, his feet on the coffee table, while she had her head on the opposite armrest and her feet in his lap, stretched out completely across the couch. He looked at her, arcing his eyebrows. She scowled. “Fine, I’ll move.”

----------

“Buffy? I’m home.” Dawn shut the door behind her and glanced up the stairs. “Buffy?” she walked into the living room and stopped dead in her tracks. The TV was going, but no one was watching it. Buffy was curled up alongside Spike, both of them sound asleep on one end of the couch. Dawn clenched her jaw and shook her head. “Yeah, just great…” she muttered under her breath before heading up to her room. She slammed the door loudly.

“Mmm, Dawnie?” Buffy’s eyes fluttered open and she looked around, not seeing her sister. She turned to Spike and smiled. He was sleeping. As quietly as she could, she shifted and went to climb off the couch. She halted when the vampire began to stir, not wanting to wake him. She stayed like that for a moment, half off the couch, waiting to see if he had woken up. When he didn’t move, she tried again. He stirred. Sighing, she laid back down.

“You can get up you know.”

Buffy rolled her eyes and sat up, looking down at him. “You’re awake?”

“Wasn’t til about thirty seconds ago.”

She shrugged. “Sorry.”

“No worries, luv. What time is it, anyway?”

“Quarter til ten.” She replied, standing from the couch and stretching her arms. “That means what, we got about five and a half hours of sleep?”

“More than I’ve gotten in the past week.”

“So you’re feeling better?”

“‘course I am, I’m here with you, aren’t I?” He said, grinning.

She gave him a small smile. “I have to go get in the shower. We’re all supposed to meet Giles at the airport at eleven thirty.” She paused for a minute, thinking. “Are you gonna come?”

“Probably not the best idea, luv. Giles isn’t exactly fond of me and I could do without hearing Whelp’s smart ass remarks. Plus the airports full of lotsa big windows.”

Buffy snorted and shook her head. “Xander needs to get his head out of his ass…”

He gave her a surprised look. “You’re insulting your friends for me now?”

“It’s not an insult when it’s true.”

He chuckled and shook his head. “I love you.”

She gave him a genuine smile. “I know.”

----------

“Dawn? You ready to go? We’re gonna be late.” Buffy pushed the door of her sister’s room open. Dawn was sitting on her bed, flipping through a magazine. “Hey, you ready? Xander’s gonna be here in a few minutes.”

Dawn looked up, her face expressionless. “I’m not going.”

“What? Of course you are, Giles’ plane’s leaving in an hour.”

“I don’t want to go.” She said flatly, returning her eyes to the magazine.

“Dawn, you’re going, now come on.” Buffy ordered, tossing her sister her coat. Dawn shoved it behind her and scowled.

“I’m. Not. Going.”

“Dawn, don’t do this, we’re going to be late.”

“I don’t want to go, Buffy. You can’t make me.” Dawn whined. Buffy lowered her head and stared at her. “Okay, so you could make me. But I’m still not going.”

Buffy groaned as Xander honked his horn outside, obviously not coming in for fear of bumping into Spike. “Dawn, now.”

“No.”

Buffy glared at her sister for a moment. “You know what? Fine, stay here with Spike.” She shook her head and stormed out the door.

“S’matter pet?” Spike asked from the couch as Buffy marched angrily down the stairs.

“Dawn’s being….Dawn. God! Spike, will you keep an eye on her? She’s not going.” Buffy rambled angrily.

“Sure thing pet.”

She grabbed her coat and gave him a small smile. “Thanks. See you later.”

Spike watched as she hurried out the door. Sighing, he stood and began to walk upstairs. “Nibblet?” He called, knocking lightly on the teen’s door, despite the fact that it was open. Dawn looked up at him from her bed. “Can I come in?”

“Last I checked vampire’s didn’t need invitations to come into someone’s room.” She said flatly.

Spike smirked. “Well, then do you care if I come in?”

“Whatever.” She muttered, returning her attention to her magazine.

Spike sighed and walked in, taking a seat on the bed next to the girl. “You still mad at me?”

“What do you think?” she spat.

“That you hate me.” He answered simply.

Dawn blinked. “I don’t hate you, I’m just ….mad, I guess.”

“‘cause I left?”

“Because you promised you wouldn’t.” she replied.

“Ah, so you’re mad ‘cause I broke my promise.”

“And you didn’t say goodbye.”

“Okay, so leaving and not saying goodbye, right?” he asked, trying to make sure he got this straight.

“Yeah…”

“I didn’t leave you, Dawn, I left Sunnydale.”

“Why didn’t you say goodbye? I mean, you could have called or something, you know, written. Anything. You just disappeared.”

“Sometimes it’s good to disappear for a bit.”

“Not when you’re already invisible everyone around you…” she grumbled, her eyes remaining locked on the floor.

He stared at her a few moments, his head tilted a bit. “I see you.” She looked up at him, caught off guard a bit. “You’ll always be my Lil Bit, you got that? And from here on out, no more disappearing, alright? I promi…”

“Don’t.” she interrupted. “Don’t promise if you can’t keep your word.”

He smirked. “I promise.”

“Really?” She asked, a small glimmer of hope in her eyes.

“Scout’s honor.” He said, raising his hand. “Cross my heart and hope to….erm, live, I guess…”

She grinned. “I missed you.”

“Missed you too, Bit.” He said warmly. He was thrown off guard as the girl wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. He smirked and returned the hug. “‘m’glad you’re not mad at me anymore.”

“Me too.”

He continued to smirk as he pulled away from her, bringing his eyes to meet hers. “Now, about that whole ‘goodbye’ issue…”

----------

“We do this way too much…” Xander said jokingly as he hugged Giles.

The Watcher grinned, “Yes, I suppose we do.” He went to say something else, but was startled as Anya hugged him tightly from the side.

“I miss you and you’re not even gone yet.” The blonde said, not letting go.

“I’m touched.” He said playfully, hugging her back. When she finally let go, he turned to face Willow. “You alright?” The redhead nodded. He smiled warmly and enveloped her in his arms. “I’ll miss you…”

“I’ll miss you too.”

He gave the girl one last smile before turning to face his Slayer. She looked on the verge of tears. He smiled and held his arms open.

“Goodbye..” she said softly, returning his hug.

“Be strong, alright? You’ll be fine without me.” He assured her.

“Yeah, I know…” she said quietly, pulling away and smiling.

“Tell Dawn I said goodbye, alright?” he asked, a bit shaken that the girl hadn’t shown.

“Why don’t you tell her yourself.” The group turned to find Spike standing at the end of the corridor, staying in the shadows to avoid the sunlight from the looming windows. He was leaning against the wall, smirking. Dawn walked out from behind him and over to Giles.

“I’m sorry.” She said softly.

“For what?” he asked, studying the girl.

“Not saying goodbye.” She replied quietly. Giles smiled fondly at her before pulling her into a hug.

“I’m glad you were here.” He uttered.

“I’ll miss you.”

“And I’ll miss you. All of you.” He said, looking at the familiar faces around him one last time before turning and heading towards the plane entrance. The scoobies all lined up along the window to watch the plane take off, all except for Buffy. She walked over to Spike, smiling as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Thank you…”

TBC…

Part 5:

“Never thought I’d see the day when you kicked demon ass.” Spike said fondly to Dawn, watching her as they walked back towards her house.

“It’s the Hellmouth, whatever’s least likely to happen always will.” She replied, smiling at him. They had gone patrolling together, leaving Buffy and Willow at home. The ex-witch was staying the night at their house, seeing as Xander was still fuming over the fact that Spike was back.

“True. I mean, who would of thought I’d turn into a wanker like Peaches?” He asked playfully.

“Nah, Angel’s all not cool and broody twenty-four-seven. You’re still Spike.” She smiled up at him. “You’re still my best friend.”

He smirked as they walked up the drive to her house. “God I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Spike.” She told him, pushing the door open and walking inside. She craned her head around the corner to find Buffy and Willow sitting at the table in the kitchen, munching on some chips. “Hey.”

“Hey, Dawn.” Buffy said, relieved that the girl was home. Dawn had never gone patrolling without Buffy and it had her a bit nervous, even though she knew her sister would be safe with Spike. Dawn walked into the room, taking a seat next to her sister and snatching a handful of chips. Buffy looked up at Spike, who was leaning against the doorframe. “You can sit down, you know.” She told him playfully.

Spike smirked and walked in, pulling up the chair beside Willow. “So what’d you girls do all night?”

Buffy shrugged. “Talked.”

Spike’s eyes fell on Willow, who looked a bit more happy yet distressed at the same time, if it was possible. “You okay, pet?” he asked, his head cocked to the side.

She gave him a small smile. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You sure?”

She chuckled. “No. But there’s not much I can do about that, is there?”

“Time. It all takes time.”

“Yeah, I know…” she muttered, dropping her eyes to the floor. She sighed and looked up at the trio around her, giving them a halfhearted smile. “I’m gonna go to bed, g’night.”

“‘night.” Buffy and Dawn muttered in unison, watching as Willow slinked out of the room.

Spike shrugged. “She’s doin’ good.” This earned him surprised looks from both Buffy and Dawn.

“Spike, she’s not doing good. She barely talks and she doesn’t do much of anything anymore.” Buffy protested.

“But she’s here, isn’t she? That’s the hardest part of what she’s going through, seeing the faces of everyone she’s hurt. It’s eating her up on the inside, but she’s toughing it out. Doing a bloody good job, too, if you ask me.”

“You think so?” Dawn asked, looking up at him hopefully.

“It’s a lot harder than it looks.” His blue eyes shifted over to Buffy. “Everything’s a lot harder.”

Buffy gave him a small smile, knowing he was talking more-so about himself than Willow. “It’s late, why don’t we all go get some sleep.” She suggested. Dawn answered her question with a yawn.

“I’m not tired.”

“Funny, now get upstairs.” Buffy ordered playfully as she stood. Dawn smiled as she walked out of the room and headed upstairs. Buffy’s playful smile faded and she looked down at Spike. “You okay?”

“Hangin’ in there.” He answered, a small smirk playing on his features.

“Spike, really, how are you?” She asked, sitting back down next to him.

He sighed and dropped the smart-ass expression. “It hurts. Hurts like a bitch…” His eyes fell, but shot back up just as quickly when he felt Buffy take his hand in her own.

“I’m here if you every need anything, alright?”

“Thank you.” he muttered, feeling tears welling up in his eyes. He had never thought Buffy would be there for him, not like this. “Thank you…” he said once more, hugging the small girl in front of him tightly.

She smiled warmly at him as she pulled away. “Just returning the favor.”

He gave her a wry smile as they stood, walking out of the kitchen. “Come on, Slayer, off t’bed with you.” He ordered, gently pushing he towards the stairs.

“Where are you going?” she asked, watching as he walked into the living room.

“Couch. Red has the extra bed, remember?”

She followed him out there and stared at the couch for a moment. Looking back up at him, she gave him a small smile and took his hand once more. “Come on.”

----------

Spike’s eyes lolled open slowly and he yawned. Rolling over, he stared adoringly at the small blonde curled up on the bed next to him. She looked so cute curled up in her pj’s like that. He smiled and absently ran his finger over her soft blonde hair, his eyes watering up. He didn’t deserve this, he didn’t deserve her. She squirmed slightly at his touch.

“Spike? You okay?” she asked sleepily, not opening her eyes.

“Yeah, pet, I’m fine. Now go back to sleep, it’s still early.” He said gently, brushing his thumb against her cheek. He looked over at the clock. Eight-thirty. Surprise, surprise. One full night of sleep without any nightmares…

“You sure?” she asked, already almost back to sleep.

“Positive. Now get back to sleep.” He smiled when she made a small whimpering noise before drifting back into her slumber. “I love you…” he whispered softly, giving her one last loving glance before standing. He walked out of Buffy’s room and over to where Willow was. He poked his head in. Willow wasn’t there. He shrugged, she must be up already. He walked in and over to the small stack of boxes in the corner. He and Buffy had dug his things out of the basement the day before. Digging through one, he pulled out some clean clothes and headed back down the hallway to take a shower.

----------

“‘ey Red.” Spike greeted the girl, who was seated at the island in the Summers’ kitchen, sipping on a glass of orange juice and absently rolling an apple around on the table with her hand.

“Morning Spike.” She said softly, giving the blonde vampire a small smile. He was wearing a loose pair of black jeans and a black t-shirt. He had a dark red button up shirt over it, the buttons serving no purpose seeing as he hadn’t bother to button them. His hair was mussed, wet and scattered all over his head.

He cocked his head to the side, examining her. “You sleep okay?”

“Yeah…” she looked up to find him smirking at her and couldn’t help but smile back. “No.” she shook her head and her eyes fell to the floor.

He stood there for a moment, watching her think. “That’s why it hurts so much.”

“What?” she asked, confused as she looked back up at him.

He sat down in the chair across from her, draping his arm across the tabletop. “You’re dwelling on everything, that’s why it hurts so much. Try not to think about it so much.”

“I can’t do that…” she muttered, tossing her apple back into the small basket along with the other fruit and shaking her head sadly.

“‘course you can.” He said, standing and grabbing her apple back out of the basket, along with two oranges.

“Spike, what are you doing?” she asked, trying to hold back a giggle as he began to juggle the fruit in front of her.

He smirked and continued to toss the fruit in the air. “See? It’s not the end of the world if you smile.” He tossed the apple back to her and caught the other two oranges in his hands. She caught the apple and grinned. “Don’t think about it so much, trust me, it works. Do something else.” He instructed, tossing the fruit back into the basket.

“Like what?” she asked, setting the apple back in as well.

He looked around the kitchen, thinking. He turned back to her and smirked. “You hungry?”

----------

“Mornin’ sunshine.” Spike greeted as Buffy walked into the kitchen, Dawn walking behind her. Both girls looked around the kitchen before returning their eyes to Spike, who was pushing something around in a pan on the stove. Willow was beside him, doing her best to flip a lopsided pancake.

“What are you doing?” Buffy asked, giving him a strange look.

“Cookin’.” He answered simply as he tossed a few slices of cheese over the scrambled eggs he was making.

“I see that.” Buffy said, surveying the wide range of dirty dishes and ingredients scattered everywhere. She and Dawn both walked over to the table and sat down, both with confused expressions on their faces. “Why?”

“Why not, right Red?” He answered, looking at the redhead next to him. She grinned and tossed the pancake onto plate next to her, topping of a rather large pile of the odd shaped things.

“Right.” She answered with a nod as she picked up the stack of pancakes and carried them over to the table.

“You look happy.” Dawn observed, watching her with curiousity. Buffy looked over at Spike, her expression questioning him. He smiled and winked at her.

“Yup. And you know what? It’s okay, I mean, it’s what Tara would have wanted, right?” Willow answered, setting the pancakes down. “Tara liked pancakes…” she muttered, her face falling slightly, but she caught herself and smiled once more. “And that’s good, ‘cause pancakes are good, a-and they deserve to be liked. I mean, with all the syrup and the fluffiness and…”

“We get the idea, Red.” Spike said, smirking as he placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her rambling. He shook his head at the girl and set the large plate of cheesy eggs he had made down alongside her pancakes.

“Oo, there’s bacon too!” Willow exclaimed, hurrying back over to the stove. Spike shook his head and sat down next to Buffy.

“Spike, what did you do to her?” She asked quietly, trying not to laugh.

“Talked to ‘er. Seems like Nibblet here ain’t the only scoobie who will take advise from me.” He answered with a grin, snatching a piece of bacon from the plate as Willow set it down. He munched on it and grinned. “Now eat up, we didn’t make all this for the Hell of it, ‘ey Red?”

She nodded and smiled.

TBC…

*****

Part 6:

“Hey Xander.” Willow greeted her friend with a smile as he walked through the door of the magic shop. She smiled from behind the counter where she was dusting off shelves.

“Willow?” he asked, taken aback by her sudden chipperness. “Willow, wow, you look…great. What happened?”

“Talking. A-and not thinking, about stuff, you know? Oh look! I brought you breakfast.” She grinned and offered him the plate of pancakes, eggs, and bacon. It seemed her and Spike had gone a bit overboard with the food. “I found out cooking’s a good way to take your mind off of things.” She added with a nod.

He grinned and took the plate from her. “I’m glad you’re feeling better. Plus, Cooky-Willow is a good thing, I’m starving.”

“So, how is it?” she asked tentatively as he took a bite.

“Mmm, great Will.” He said, swallowing down a mouthful of the eggs. “So you did all of this yourself?”

“No.” she answered simply, going back to dusting.

“Buffy help you?” he asked, taking another bite.

“No.”

“…Dawn?”

“Uh-uh.” She answered. Xander stopped chewing and stared at her. She sighed and back stared at him, a sly smirk on her face.

“Willow….” He stated, his mouth still full.

“…Spike.”

He spit the food on the counter. “Willow! Ugh, that’s disgusting!” He blew a raspberry with his tongue, trying to get the remaining bits of food out of his mouth. “God, that’s worse than when I thought I ate that people-burger. Dammit, Wills! He probably poisoned it and now…”

“What’s wrong?” Buffy and Spike came rushing out from the back room, hearing the commotion. Anya poked her head over the edge of the loft and looked down, her eyebrows raised at the noise her ex-fiance was making. Willow was standing behind the counter, her hand over her mouth to try and keep form laughing.

“She fed me evil breakfast!” Xander shouted, pointing an accusing finger at Willow. Everyone stared at him for a moment, silent.

Willow cracked up. “My God Xander, they were eggs! I ate them too, they’re not poisoned.” Buffy put her hand over her mouth to keep from giggling and Spike just smirked.

“Really Harris, if I wanted to kill you it’d be a nice, slow, painful death. Not eggs.”

Buffy continued to grin as she pulled on the sleeve of his coat. “Stoppit.” She scolded him lightly, still laughing a bit. “Xander, Spike’s right, why would he try to kill you with eggs?”

“Cause he’s a demon!” Xander argued.

“Um, hello, Vengence Demon up here.” Anya said, waving at Xander.

“Anya, I didn’t mean…”

“I know what you meant, Xander, and for your information all demons aren’t evil.”

“He is.” Xander shot stubbornly.

“No, he’s not.” Buffy said sternly, glaring at her friend.

“Xander, Buffy’s right, Spike’s not…” Willow began.

“Now you’re defending him too?” Xander asked, shocked. “Willow, demons…” He stopped himself from using the vague d-word. “..vampires, vampires kill people.”

“Not all of them, Xander.” Willow chided, looking at him crossly. “People kill people too. Look at Warren…look at me…” An uneasy silence fell over the group as Willow dropped her eyes to the ground.

“Willow, I didn’t…” he went to touch her shoulder, but she pulled away from him. He stared at her for a moment, not sure what else to say.

Spike glared at Xander before walking from behind Buffy and over to the ex-witch, who now had tears running down her face.

“Don’t touch her!” Xander made a move to hit Spike, but Buffy grabbed his arm, preventing him from swinging.

Spike sneered at the boy before turning his gaze back to Willow. “Red?” He asked softly. She looked up at him, tears flooding her eyes.

“I’ve killed more people in the past year than you have…” She mumbled.

Spike gave her a sympathetic smile before hugging her. “Don’t fret about it, luv, the wanker had it comin’ to ‘im. If you hadn’t done it I would have anyway, chip or no chip. You only gave him what he deserved.”

“I didn’t mean to…” she whispered into his chest, crying a bit harder now.

“I know, pet. We all know.” He said gently, rubbing his hand in small circles on her back. Xander scowled and went to say something, but Buffy silenced him with a menacing glare.

“No.” she said simply, grabbing him by the arm. “Come on.”

Spike watched as Buffy dragged the boy towards the door. Swinging it open, she ushered him roughly out onto the sidewalk. The vampire gave her a small smile before she disappeared out into the sunlit streets after him.

“Xander, this has to stop. Now.” She said sternly, glaring at him.

“What? The hatred of vampires? That’s pretty ironic coming from a Slayer, or have you forgotten that that’s what you are?”

“I never said I didn’t hate vampires.” She said flatly, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Gee, Buffy, you sure don’t act like it. I mean, you know, with the whole ‘Let’s defend Spike’ routine.” He shot back sarcastically.

“I hate vampires, Xander.” She said flatly. “I may hate what Spike is, but I don’t hate him.”

“He’s still a vampire, Buffy. He can hurt you.” Xander argued.

“And Anya’s a Vengence Demon. You know, those things that torture men?”

“Anya can’t hurt me…” He retorted.

“And Spike won’t hurt me.” She snapped. “Anya may not be able to hurt you, but Spike refuses to hurt me. He loves me, Xander, why can’t you see that?”

“Yeah Buff. And what happened with the last vampire you fell for, huh? ‘Oops, lost my soul. I guess I should kill you and torture all your friends now.’”

“Xander, are you blind?! He could have killed you a long time ago!”

“He was chipped, Buffy. He doesn’t have that leash anymore…”

“Xander, how easily could he have lit your apartment on fire? How easily could he have… poisoned your eggs? He could have killed you, but he didn’t. He chose not to. He doesn’t need a leash, what he needs is acceptance and from where I’m standing, you’re the only one refusing to give that to him. You’re driving yourself into a hole, Xander. God, Willow trusts him more than she trusts you right now.”

“He doesn’t deserve acceptance, not after the things he’s done.” Xander mumbled.

“What about Anya? What about Willow? They’ve both taken human lives, why is it okay for them?” Xander stood there, staring at his feet, not sure what to say. “Xander, I love you, you know that, right?” Buffy asked quietly.

“Yeah…”

“Then please, trust me. I don’t want to keep fighting with you. Please…” She cupped on of his hands in both of hers and watched him with pleading eyes.

He sighed and swallowed down the lump in his throat. “Do you love him?”

“What?” Buffy asked quietly, not sure where the question had come from.

“Spike. Do you love him?” Xander asked again, his voice soft. Buffy just stared at him with wide eyes, not answering. He clenched his eyes shut and pulled his hand gently from her grip, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry…” she whispered.

“Don’t be.” He said flatly as he turned and began to walk away. Buffy stood there, watching her friend walk off. She wiped a stray tear from her face as his words repeated in her mind.

TBC…

*****

Part 7:

All eyes shot up as the bell above the door rang. Buffy walked in sullenly and gave the shop’s occupants a small smile. Willow and Spike were seated at the table and Anya was coming out of the back room of the shop with a cup of tea for the ex-witch. Buffy watched as Anya tried to coax the girl into taking the beverage, but Willow just shook her head. She had stopped crying, yes, but she still looked as if someone had just drop-kicked her puppy.

“Xander left…” Buffy mumbled quietly, dropping her eyes to the ground. She felt absolutely horrible for turning on her friend like that, but Xander shouldn’t….no, he couldn’t talk to Spike like that.

“Buffy, luv, you didn’t have to do that.” Spike said from his seat beside Willow.

“Yes, I did… and I wanted to.” The slayer groaned and shook her head, taking a seat across from him. “Xander’s just…”

“Xander.” Anya chimed when Buffy couldn’t find a word to describe the boy. “Xander’s just… Xander.” She shrugged.

“Yeah, we get that.” The Slayer muttered. Spike kept his eyes on her as she absently rolled a pencil around on the table.

“You okay?”

“Huh?” Her eyes shot up tp ,meat his questioning gaze and she smiled slightly at the concern hinted in his eyes. “Yeah, I’m fine.” She turned her focus to Willow. “How ‘bout you? You alright?” Willow merely shrugged. Buffy gave her a weak smile and stood. “Come on, why don’t we head back to my place.” She laid her hand lightly on her friend’s shoulder as she stood. “Spike, you coming?” Buffy asked, unsure whether they should take to the sunny sidewalks or travel by sewer.

“You two go ahead, I’ll meet you there. No sense in all of us trudgin’ through the sewers.”

“You sure?”

“Positive. Now get goin’ ‘fore I decide I wanna go for a walk in the sun too.” He replied with a smirk.

“Fine. I’ll see you later.” Buffy said, shaking her head and smiling. How come he could always look past how horrible things were and go on smiling like that? “Come on, Will.”

Spike watched as the two girls disappeared out the door. His eyes remained focused there for a few moments, even after they had gone.

“You’re not going straight home, are you?”

“What?” he asked, spinning around to face the vengeance demon.

“You’re not going home yet.” This time she said it as more of a statement than a question.

“Nope, guess not.” He said, grabbing his jacket from the back of one of the chairs and heading over to the basement door. He turned the knob and spun to face the girl once more before descending the stairs. “And do me a favor. Don’t say anything ‘bout this, ‘right?” Anya nodded and Spike smirked. “Thanks pet.”

----------

Xander pounded up the stairs to his apartment, not acknowledging the heavy clomping sound he was making. He was too busy replaying the conversation he and Buffy had had over and over in his head. He plunged his key forcefully into the lock on his door and swung it open. His eyes scanned the apartment as he continued to replay what had been said.

Buffy was sorry. Sorry for what? Yelling at him? Siding with a vampire? Trusting Spike? Sorry that Willow wouldn’t even look at him? She could have been sorry for any number of things, it’s not like she came out and said exactly what was sorry for. But he knew. She was sorry for hurting him in the worst possible way she could. She was sorry for loving the vampire he loathed with all his being. Sure, she could deny it all she wanted, but it was right there in front of his face: Buffy loved Spike, whether she thought so or not.

And he didn’t want her to be sorry. No, she didn’t need to be. He was sorry enough for the both of them. Sorry that Buffy had let herself fall for the vampires game. Sorry that she was oblivious to what he really was. Sorry that his friends were turning on him because of the man, no, the thing she loved. Yeah, he was sorry alright, sorry for trying to point out how stupid she was without flat-out telling her to her face.

He shut the door and walked towards the window, staring absently at the street below.

‘Buffy, you’re an idiot.’ What he wouldn’t give to say those words to her, to put it so simply what was wrong with her, but he wouldn’t. He loved her too much to be that harsh. She was smart and he hoped she would figure it out sooner or later. She would see soon enough how blind she really was.

His head shot up as someone knocked on his door. He groaned in annoyance and marched towards it, not in the mood to deal with whoever was bothering him right now. He swung it open and immediately rephrased the thought. Whatever was bothering him.

“You.” He spat, glaring at the blonde vampire standing outside his door.

Spike stared at him in utter annoyance. “Look, before you go getting’ all…” Xander punched him in the jaw before he could finish. His head jerked to the side, but he didn’t waver. “Right, so much for pleasantries, eh?” He said, smirking as he wiped at the trickle of blood now flowing from his lip.

“What the Hell are you doing here?” The boy ground out, glaring venomously at the vampire.

Spike straightened and his smirk was replaced by a serious glare. “Look, Whelp, I didn’t like you ‘fore I got this bloody soul and I don’t like you now.” He said in all seriousness. “But this shit has to stop. Now.”

“Why? Can’t take the verbal abuse? Can’t stand to have someone around who isn’t afraid to remind you of what you are, to remind you your place? You’re a vampire, a worthless, evi....”

“I can take your words easy, Harris.” Spike growled, taking a step closer to the door. “You’re not hurtin’ me none. You’re hurtin’ them. You’re hurtin’ yourself. You’re hurtin’ everyone but me, you ponce. Buffy an’ you can’t have a conversation without shoutin’, Willow won’t look at you, Anya thinks you hate her ‘cause she’s a demon, and Dawn thinks you’re the Big Bad Wolf come to take me away from her again. And me? Hell, I find it funny that your hurtin’ yourself so much at my expense.”

“Listen to me, you sorry…” Xander began, taking a step towards the blonde. He made the mistake of stepping over the threshold of his door and Spike grabbed him roughly by the collar of his shirt.

“No. You listen to me.” He growled, slamming the boy into the wall. “I couldn’t give a fuck less ‘bout the shit you’re saying, but you’re hurting them. If you wanna take your shots, Harris, take them now. Say whatever the Hell you want to while they’re not here because next time you say something to hurt them…”

“You’ll what, kill me?” Xander questioned hatefully, pulling Spike’s hands off of him. Spike reluctantly released him, but didn’t back down.

“No. I wouldn’t do that, only because it would hurt them. But trust me, there’s nothing I would more like to do than rip your head from your shoulders. No, next time you say something I just want you to look at them, look at what you’re doing. You’ll destroy them and yourself long before I go down. So if you still really feel you need to run your mouth, do it now, I’m right here and Buffy’s not around to stop you.”

Xander continued to glare, but for once didn’t speak. Clenching his jaw, he pulled one more punch at the vampire. Much to his surprise, Spike reeled to the side, nailing his head on a case holding a fire extinguisher. He looked down at his fist, surprise at the force he had just used. That’s when it hit him. Pain shot through his hand and up his arm. “Dammit.” He complained, shaking the already bruising limb.

Spike stood easily and gave him an unamused look, a rather large gash present above his eye. “That’s it? ‘Dammit’? I walk halfway across the bloody town, in the middle of the day, mind you, and all you can say is ‘dammit’? Bugger, whelp, I really do hate you, you know that?”

“Get out.” Xander growled.

Spike cocked his head to the side and clucked his tongue. “Fine.” He said simply before turning and walking back down the stairs. Go figure, he gives the sap a chance to get all his smart-ass remarks out and all he can come up with is ‘dammit’. Just his bloody luck.

----------

Buffy shot up from the couch as the door opened. Spike walked in, tucked safely underneath his smoking blanket. “Spike, where were you?” She questioned, walking over and shutting the door behind him.

He pulled the blanket from over his head, revealing his bloody lip. The gash above his eye had bled a bit too, leaving a thin trail of the liquid running over his brow. “Sorry, luv, got a bit tied up.” He said with a smirk.

“God, Spike, what happened?” Buffy asked, brushing her finger across the cut above his eye. He flinched. “Sorry. Here, go sit down and I’ll get a first aid kit.” She said, gently pushing him into the kitchen. He sat down and she returned a few minutes later with said first aid kit. “What happened?” she asked as she began to wipe some of the stick red goo from his face.

“Erm…vampires.” He lied.

“Vampires?” She asked, giving him a skeptical look.

“Yeah, in the sewer. Big bloke, he was. Dumb as an ox though.”

“Seems Mr. Dumb-As-A-Box-Of-Rocks got the best of you.” She said with a smirk as she taped a piece of guaze to his forehead.

“Ow.” He whined.

“Sorry.”

“No worries. And for your information, missy, I think I got the best of him. Left the bloke bloody speechless.” He said with a grin.

“So he’s a big dusty now?” She asked, putting the gauze back in the case.

“Yeah, I guess you could say he won’t be buggin’ us too much anymore.”

TBC…

*****