Chapter 29: What's My Line (Part 3 of 3)

Willy threw Spike's unconscious body down into the sewers. Then he jumped down after Spike. Sewer water splashed on his shoes and he frowned. Before he had time to worry about the damage to his footwear, Angelus and a couple of minions appeared.

"There you go, friend," Willy said. "He'll be as good as new in a day or so."

The minions grabbed Spike by the arms and started to drag him away. Willy held up his hand to stop them.

"Uh, hey, wai-wait. We had a deal, right?"

Angelus pulled a wad of cash out of his pocket.

"What's the matter, Willy? Don't ye trust me?"

"Oh, yeah. Like a brother."

"Well, I hope ye keep me confidences better than ye would yer brother's. Otherwise, we might have to have a bit of a talk."

"Wild horses couldn't drag it," Willy promised. "What are you gonna do with him anyway?"

"He has somethin' that belongs to my dear sweet Drusilla. We're only going to get it back."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Buffy burst through the door of Willy's bar, Kendra not far behind. Buffy had been forced to accept that she was no longer The Chosen One. She hadn't had time to really process that yet, especially considering Kendra might have killed Spike. Buffy silently vowed that things would not go well for the younger Slayer if Spike got a suntan.

"Spike?" she hollered.

Kendra walked into the cage where she had left him and looked around.

"No ashes," Kendra pointed out.

"What?"

"When a vampire combusts, he leaves ashes."

"Yeah, I know the drill."

"So I did not kill him."

"And I don't need to kill you."

Just then Willy showed up at the door.

"Whoa! There's a lotta tension in this room," he noticed.

Before he could comment further, Kendra pushed him out of the back room and onto the floor.

"Doesn't anyone just say 'hello' where you come from?" Buffy asked.

Kendra turned Willy over on the floor and grabbed him by the shirt, raising her fist to punch him.

"Dis one is dirty! I can feel it!"

"That's really good for you, Percepto Girl," Buffy pushed her aside, and helped Willy to his feet. "But we're not gonna get anything out of him if he's, oh, say. . . " She slammed him into the bar. "Unconscious. Where's Spike?"

"My buddy Spike? You think I'd let him fry? I saved him in the nick! He was about five minutes away from being a crispy critter."

"Where'd he go?"

"Uh, he said he was gonna stay underground. You know, recuperate."

"Are you telling me the truth?"

"I swear on my mother's grave! Should something fatal happen to her, God forbid."

"Den he is alright," Kendra said. "We can return to your Watcher for our orders." She turned to leave.

Buffy let go of Willy. "I don't take orders. I do things my way."

"No wonder you died."

Buffy ignored the comment. "Let's go," she instructed the other girl.

As they started to leave Willy called after them, "I, I have to ask. Has either of you girls considered modeling? I have a friend with a camera? Strictly high-class nude work. You know, art photographs. But naked."

Buffy and Kendra exchanged a look and walked out without a word.

"You don't have to answer right away," Willy let them know.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Spike grunted in pain as Drusilla dripped holy water on to his exposed chest. He had been chained to the foot of her bed and Angelus had left them together as he prepared for some sort of ritual.

"Do I hurt you?" Drusilla asked gleefully.

"Not anymore, pet."

She whimpered in disappointment. "But they hurt you. Nasty gypsies. You writhe for them. I didn't know."

"Didn't know what?"

He couldn't help but be curious. Dru was no longer his lady love, his dark princess. Instead, she was an exotic creature. She still fascinated him. Besides, puzzling her out distracted him from the pain.

"Why you glowed. You were supposed to be my knight," she said sorrowfully. "Once I'm better, Daddy says I can have a new toy." She leaned in close to him and whispered in his ear, "I want the boy. Angelus doesn't know about him. He wouldn't let me have him if he did." She laughed and clapped her hands together excitedly. "I'll have a dark knight this time. Black as night."

For a moment Spike didn't understand. Then understanding dawned on him. Fear gripped his heart. Robin! She was going to turn Robin. She threw back her head and laughed as she saw his fear.

Then she began to sing, "Run and catch. The lamb is caught in the blackberry patch."

She dripped more holy water onto him. Spike clenched his jaw. He would make his way out of this. He had to. He would never let Robin fall to the fate he'd been forced to save his mother from. Spike could still hear Nikki's last plea, asking him to watch out for Robin. Spike could still hear it - the sound as the sword cut off Nikki's head. He could still see the look in her eyes as he killed her.

Angelus had been careful to take enough blood to be fatal, but not to kill her right away. He'd wanted her to be conscious when he fed her his blood. Wanted her to know that she was going to become the thing she hated most.

When Spike had found them, Angelus had only put up a token fight. In those days, it was Spike that Angelus was after. So he had left Spike with the woman who was past saving, and a choice. To kill her, or let her live forever.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Buffy shoved Willy up against the shelves of liquor bottles in his own bar. Giles had finally pieced together the purpose of the items that Angelus's minions had stolen. They could be used in a ritual to restore an unhealthy vampire. All that was required was the sacrifice of a strong member of the sick vampire's blood line. No one doubted that his old family would eagerly offer Spike up.

Having nowhere else to turn, she and Kendra had returned to Willy's bar looking for a clue as to where Angelus had taken Spike. Buffy was still unsure of how much she could trust Kendra. She was scared that the other slayer might stake Spike rather than save him. But for now, she was an ally. She agreed that they couldn't allow Drusilla to be restored to a full state of health.

"Ah! Honest! I don't know where Spike is!" Willy claimed.

"What about this ritual? What have you heard?" Buffy asked.

"N-nothing! I-it's all hush-hush!"

"Just hit him, Buffy!" Kendra insisted.

"She likes to hit," Buffy told Willy.

"You know, m-maybe I did hear something about this ritual. Yeah, i-i... I-it's coming back to me. But, uh, I'd have to take you there."

"Let's go." Buffy started to drag him out of the bar.

Kendra didn't follow. "First we must return to de Watcher."

Buffy stopped. "Excuse me? While we run to Giles, this whole thing could go down!"

"But it is procedure."

"It's brainless, you mean! If we don't go now, Spike could die." She started toward the door again.

"Is dat all you're worried about? Your boyfriend?"

"No," Buffy stopped and looked back at the other girl. "It's not all, but it's enough."

"It's as I feared. He clouds your judgment. We can't stop dis ritual alone!"

"Are you listening to me? He could die!" Buffy shouted.

"He's a vampire. He should die. Why am I de only person who sees it?"

Buffy just stared at her a moment before turning around again and heading for the door with Willy in tow.

"Are you dat big a fool?"

Buffy didn't look back. She might feel sorry for Kendra, for her upbringing, but nothing was going to keep her from Spike. Angelus had already taken more than she was willing to give. Buffy didn't know what she would do if she lost Spike too.

Willy led her through Sunnydale to an abandoned church.

As she followed him inside he said, "Here ya go. Don't ever say your friend Willy don't come through in a pinch."

They went round a corner, and nearly ran into the female cop who had tried to kill Buffy earlier at school, and a vampire.

"Here ya go," Willy addressed the pair. "Don't ever say your friend Willy don't come through in a pinch."

A creepy looking man in a cheap business suit - whom Buffy assumed was Xander's bug guy - and another vampire blocked her escape.

Willy, the assassins, and the vampires escorted her into the church. There, in front of the altar, Spike and Drusilla hung from the ceiling, chained together. A knife had been thrust through their hands and there was a faint glimmer about the two of them.

"It's payday, pal. I got your Slayer," bragged Willy.

Angelus strode down the aisle to meet them, anger apparent in his face.

"Are ye mad, man? What are ye doin' bringin' her here, now?!"

"You said you wanted her," Willy reasoned.

Angelus only growled.

"Well, since she's here, we might as well have ourselves a little fun. After all, we wouldn't want Spike to go without a proper send off. Listnen' to his girl scream. Patrice?"

The cop took a knife out of her belt and handed it to Angelus. He took it smiling and placed the point of it at Buffy's throat. Then he slowly ran the knife down her collar bone - just barely nicking her - till it came to rest just above her breasts.

"Now, let's see-"

The doors to the church flew open and Kendra entered in a series of backflips that ended in a flying kick that knocked Angelus to the ground. Buffy used the distraction to rip herself free of the vampires that were holding her.

"Who the hell is this?!" Angelus snarled as he rolled to his feet.

Kendra grabbed him by the shirt.

"It's your lucky day, Angelus," Buffy said.

"Two Slayers." Kendra punched him.

"No waiting!" Buffy added a punch of her own.

Buffy noticed Patrice start to reach for her gun and turned to fight her, leaving Kendra to face Angelus. She kicked the woman's hand away from the gun. The lady cop extended her arms and a blade slid from each sleeve.

One of the vampires that had been holding her started to reach for her, but suddenly a bolt impaled him. Buffy glanced through the dust to see Giles enter the church with a crossbow. But there was no time for thanks. She was caught in a battle with Patrice.

She dodged the knives and landed a few blows of her own, but the woman was a good fighter. She managed to kick the cop back. Just then she saw Angelus knock Kendra to the floor. Kendra scrambled back up.

"Switch!" Buffy ordered.

She bent over as Kendra rolled over her back to face Patrice. Now Buffy was facing Angelus.

"Jealous?" Angelus asked her.

"Please." Buffy rolled her eyes as she blocked his punch.

She kicked him in the face, then against in the gut. He doubled over and fell to the floor. A third kick sent him flying into the pews.

As Angelus tried to disentangle himself, Buffy rushed to the altar and pulled the dagger out of Spike and Drusilla's hands. Then she started to untie them.

Before she could finish undoing the chains, Angelus tackled her from behind. He punched her as she tried to get up, knocking her back down. While she was down, Angelus grabbed a torch off the wall and threw it into a pile of drapes.

Buffy could hear Xander yell, "Look out!"

Angelus finished untying Drusilla and Spike and lifted Drusilla into his arms. Spike collapsed on the floor behind them. Buffy crawled over to him, but then she saw Angelus trying to make his escape. She got up and grabbed the censer from the altar and begun to swing it about her head. She launched it at Angelus, and it hit him in the back of the head. He stumbled into the organ, which collapsed under his weight.

"I'm good!" Buffy praised herself.

The rest of the organ collapsed on top of the vampiric couple. Bronze pipes clanged as they rolled all over the place.

Buffy turned her attention back to Spike. With Kendra's help she managed to get him out of the burning church. Buffy looked behind her at the wreckage they had left. With any luck that would be the last she saw of Angelus and Drusilla. In the mean time, she had a wounded vampire of her own to tend to.
 

Chapter 30: Surprise (Part 1 of )

Buffy tossed and turned in her bed, unable to sleep. She woke with a start and put her hand to her head. She turned on her lamp and let out a sigh. Then she picked up a glass from the night-stand, to drink. But the glass was empty, so she got up to refill it.

She walked down the hallway, unaware of Drusilla who walked silently behind her. Buffy opened the bathroom door and entered the Bronze. The room was crowded and somewhere the band played a soft ballad.

Willow was sitting at a table with a large cup of cappuccino and an organ grinder's monkey.

Willow spoke to the monkey, "L'hippo a pique' ses pantalons."

Willow smiled and waved at Buffy, who waved back. Then she saw her mother who was dressed up.

"Is it time?" her mother asked.

"What?" Buffy asked.

Her mother tried to pick up a champagne glass, but knocked it over. The sound of the glass shattering reverberated through the entire club. Her mother walked away.

Buffy looked around the room, and passed by Willow who was still talking to the monkey. Buffy pushed through the crowd to the stage, but there was no band playing. She turned around and saw Spike standing by the pool table. She smiled at him and he smiled back as he started to walk to her.

Suddenly Drusilla appeared behind him wearing her game face. Before Buffy could say anything, Drusilla thrust a stake into Spike's back.

"SPIKE!" Buffy screamed.

They reached out for each other but before Buffy could touch him, he turned to dust. The rings on his fingers clattered to the floor.

"Happy New Year, Buffy." Drusilla said.

Buffy sat upright in her bed, waking from her nightmare. Her heart was pounding. She could still feel the loss of Spike, even if it had only been a dream.

She showered and dressed quickly. Her mother was barely up when Buffy was out of the door. She had to check on Spike.

She ran to his apartment. She was about to knock on his door when she heard a moan and the sounds of a fight. Terrified that he was being hurt, Buffy burst through his door and stopped dead in her tracks.

Spike was sitting in his armchair in front of the TV. He wasn't wearing a shirt, and his jeans were only halfway up his hips. He was stroking an erection with one hand. Her mouth hung open, her eyes were glued to the sight, until she heard her own voice coming from the TV.

"Buffy?!" Spike got up and tried to put his pants back on.

Buff ignored him for the moment, and walked around to where she could see the TV screen. Spike noticing where her attention had wandered, dove to turn it off. The set went off, but not before Buffy saw footage of her fighting a vampire. Judging by the clothes and the way she'd been wearing her hair, the video had been made sometime last year.

"Buffy. . . Look. . . this isn't. . . " Spike tried to think up an excuse.

Buffy couldn't help but giggle. She was pretty sure that if vampires could blush, Spike would be red as a beet.

"Was that. . ? Where did you get that video?" she asked.

"It's not what you think. I. . . last year, before we started training together, I filmed you, so I'd know how you fought. So I could train you better. That's all I swear." There was a comical look of terror on his face.

"And now you use them to. . . " Buffy's stern voice faltered.

She wasn't mad at Spike. It was kind of weird, but she was actually flattered. To know that he didn't look at other women when he was alone, but her. She really was his fantasy girl. She was what he thought about when he touched himself.

Himself. My what a big himself it was, too. Not that she had anything to compare him to. Suddenly she felt a little shy and nervous as she wondered how she could ever fit that much inside herself.

"Well I. . . What are you doing here this time of morning?" he tried to change the subject.

She wished she could get the subject back around to Spike's sexual practices, and his sexual parts, but didn't know how.

"Um. . . I-I had this. . . dream that Drusilla was alive." As soon as she spoke the words her fear and sorrow returned, driving away thoughts of Spike's body.

"What happened?"

"She killed you. Right in front of me." She felt like she might cry.

"Was it? Was it a Slayer dream, pet?" He put one hand on her shoulder to comfort her.

"I don't know. It felt so real, though. . ." she began to sob.

He pulled her close, and Buffy found her cheek pressed against his bare chest.

"It's okay, luv. I'm sure it was nothing. Just a dream." He stroked her hair.

She placed her hand against his chest. She was getting all quivery again. It was hard to be sad, hard to be frightened when she was being held tightly against that especially manly chest. Buffy was overcome with the desire to lick him. To taste his skin.

It was only when she heard him moan, "Buffy," that she realized that she'd actually done it.

"You're not mad at me?" he asked, shyly.

"Actually, I was wondering if you wanted any help," she said coyly. Then she was embarrassed by her brazenness "I mean, not that you need help. I'm sure you know what you're doing much better than mmm-"

He silenced her with a kiss. His tongue filled her open mouth, desperately seeking to explore her. She felt him sweep her up into his arms as her own tongue reached out for him. She gripped his shoulders tightly, unaware that her nails were biting into his skin.

He didn't break the kiss until he had laid her down on his bed. She gasped for breath as he looked deep in her eyes.

"What exactly did you have in mind?" he asked. His hand untucked her shirt and his thumb began to trace circles on her stomach.

"I thought. . .I meant. . . "

"It's okay, baby. Just tell me what you want."

"I could touch you. . . you know, do what you were. . . doing."

He smiled at her. "Well. . . if that's what you want. . ." he was practically purring.

There was a hungry look in his eyes. The thought of getting him off, made Buffy squeeze her legs together. She was growing both tingly and wet down there.

He took her hand and placed it against the bulge in his jeans. Taking the cue, Buffy unfastened them and his cock spilled into her hands.

"Hoo," she exhaled as her fingers curled around his cool length.

He moaned, and caught her lower lip with his mouth. He began to kiss her gently. His hand closed over hers, and their hands began to move together.

"That's it. . . baby. Yeah. . . just like that," he murmured between kisses.

She pulled back from his kissing to ask "Is it good?"

"So good, baby. So soft. Your thumb. . ." his own thumb pushed hers up so that it ran over the head of his cock at the top of a stroke. "Just like that," he panted.

He took his hand away, and placed it on her inner thigh. He gripped her leg hard, and began to rub it. In response she squeezed him.

"Oh, God!" he cried, then he attacked her mouth. He was back to the desperate kisses they'd shared earlier. He rolled on top of her as he tried to devour her. He moaned as he kissed her, and he began to thrust against her hand.

She squeezed him tighter, and he gasped. His hand moved from her thigh to her ass, and he gripped her tightly.

"That's it. . . please yes. . . Buffy!

Her own excitement grew as she pumped him faster and faster. She found one of his legs between hers, and she began to rub herself against him. The friction of their bodies sent shivers all the way up her spine.

Suddenly he pulled away from her, rolling onto his back.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked.

"God, no, pet. Everything right. Just didn't want to make a mess of your clothes."

"Oh." She hadn't really thought of that.

He reached across her to pull a black silken handkerchief out of the bedside table as he finished kicking off his pants. She took it from him. She felt a little silly because it took her a few tries to find a way to cover the tip of his cock, and still allow her to stroke him. As she did so, she sat up, straddling his leg again, needing the contact between their bodies.

She began to rub him and herself at the same time. She was almost disappointed at the rapid pace that he came. Still, hearing him scream her name, seeing his face contort with pleasure was wonderful. The only problem was that now that he was done, she felt silly rubbing herself against him.

She lay next to him. He took the handkerchief from her and discarded it. Then he put his arm under her head and played with her hair. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and began to purr. His other hand rested on her thigh and he began to caress it with his thumb.

"Now how am I ever going to pay you back for that?" he asked rhetorically.

Slowly his hand slid up her thigh. Instinctively, she pulled apart her legs to make room for his hand.

The tips of his fingers ran lightly over the crotch of her panties, sending little tingles through her. He began to trace little circles on the fabric. She tried pressing herself against him, but he pulled his hand back. She whimpered.

"Do me a favor, luv?" he asked.

She was willing to do anything he wanted, as long as it would get him touching her again, so she nodded.

"Suck on my finger. Get it nice and wet."

He proffered the finger to her, and she took it in her mouth and sucked hard on it. She never would have thought that that could be such a deliciously dirty act. He pulled it slowly from her mouth, then his hand was back between her legs.

He slipped his hand in the waistband of her panties, and slipped them down around her legs. Then for the first time he was touching her down there without anything between them. She gasped as his finger gently spread her folds open. Then he gently slipped his damp finger inside her.

She inhaled sharply. She'd never felt anything fill her before. Slowly he began to move his finger in and out of her.

"Oh boy," she exhaled. Suddenly she was aware she'd been holding her breath.

She closed her eyes as the new feelings started to spread through her.

"Hey now," Spike called softly to her. "None of that. Look at me."

Her eyes flew open and she found herself caught in his cerulean eyes, and the desire she saw reflected in them. Time seemed to stop as she gazed lovingly into his eyes. Then a second finger entered her. She gasped.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Wonderful," she breathed as she began to move slowly in time to him.

His thumb then brushed lightly against her clit.

"Ahhh," she cried as sparks flew up to her womb.

He smiled wickedly at her, then his mouth caught hers in a kiss as his thumb began to rub her clit. As soon as he began to kiss her, she rolled up against him. She grabbed him by the shoulders and dug her fingers into him.

He began to increase his speed, and she gladly pushed harder and harder against him. She felt like that ball of sparks that had been growing inside her was going to explode. She needed it to. It was more sensation than she'd ever felt in her life. She loved it, and yet was overwhelmed by it.

He mouth tore away from Spike's as she screamed, "YES! Spike!"

Her whole body seemed to shake as she exploded. She couldn't breath, couldn't control her body as she bucked against Spike's hand.

As the world came back into focus, she gasped for breath. Spike pulled his fingers out of her, leaving a tingly trail down her insides.

"Wow," she said.

He smiled at her, his tongue peeking out between his teeth. Suddenly she could think of all sorts of things that tongue might do to her, and another tremor ran down her body.

"You like that, luv?" he teased her.

"Uh-huh," she nodded. Sentences were definitely beyond her at the moment.

He put his fingers in his mouth, and sucked her juices off of them.

He chuckled. "Good to know I haven't lost my touch."

"No, touching was of the good." She smiled up at him and snuggled against his bare chest.

She was just considering if maybe she should be a little nakeder herself, when Spike yawned.

"Sorry," he apologized.

"Oh man. It's time for you to be sleeping, isn't it? I should get going anyway. My mom will wonder where I ran off to this early in the morning. You're coming tonight, right?"

"Wouldn't miss it."

"I know it's kind of last minute, and I should of thought of it before, but does Robin want to come? We could introduce him as. . . Well, I don't know, but we could think of something."

He laughed. "What kind of teenager are you anyway, pet? Robin made up some excuse about spending the New Year looking for vampires preying off of partygoers, but I'm pretty sure he just doesn't want to be saddled with the old man."

"You're not so old. Well, okay, technically you're ancient, but you're cool. I think he's silly."

Spike yawned again. "Thanks pet, nice to know that I'm a hip cradle-robber." He kissed her lightly on the lips. "See ya tonight."
 

Chapter 31: Surprise (Part 2 of 2)

A/N My website's moved. It's now at http://www.dark-desire.org/ld/ Thanks to Mandi for hosting me, and making me a wonderful new banner.

New Years Eve was possibly the longest day of Buffy's life. Even Christmas Eve when she was a child hadn't taken this long. Her mother was letting her have a small gathering. Xander, Willow, and Spike were coming over for a night of movies and snacks.

It wasn't a night of movie watching that had Buffy all excited. It was seeing Spike again. Or rather touching him again. Her whole body seemed to ache with lack of being touched. At the same time it was almost as if phantom fingers moved over her.

When she was alone she would curl her fingers, and try and remember the feel of him in her hands. The thought of his naked body made her mouth water.

She had made up her mind. After the party she and Spike were supposed to patrol and protect the late night revelers. After that, she planned on going back to Spike's apartment with him and spending the night. She was ready; more than that, she thought if she didn't go all the way with Spike soon she'd go nuts.

As evening approached, she changed into her favorite little black dress. As she came out of her room, she nearly walked into her mother who had also changed.

"Mom? When'd you get that dress?"

"Oh, just the other day. I know it's silly. I'm not going out tonight or anything. Just playing chaperone. Still, I'm used to dressing up for New Year's. Do you like it?"

"Yeah, it's nice."

Terror hit Buffy. She'd seen that dress before, but not in a mall or a shopping bag. In her dream; the dream where Spike died. She tried to tell herself that it wasn't the same dress, that she just didn't remember the dress in the dream and had substituted in her mother's new dress. But she couldn't convince herself. Waiting for Spike became all the more difficult.

If waiting for Spike to get there was bad, things were worse when he arrived. Seeing him, but not being able to touch him was worse. Her mother kept a hawk's eyes on her. Buffy was afraid to even hold his hand under her mom's watchful gaze.

Still, slow as it seemed, time did crawl by. Finally it was 11:58 and they paused the movie.

"Mom!" Buffy went into the kitchen to get her for the big moment.

"Is it time?" her mother asked.

She reached for her champagne glass and knocked it over. It shattered on the floor.

"Buffy? Buffy?" her mother said.

Buffy didn't hear her. It was identical to her dream. Something awful was going to happen tonight. Spike was going to die. Drusilla was going to kill him. Buffy didn't know what to do.

"Are you alright? You look like you've seen a ghost," her mother asked.

"I. . . Um? Right, sorry. The glass. Just startled me is all. It's almost time."

They went back into the living room and counted down to midnight with the others. Then they finished watching the movie and everyone left. Well except Spike who only pretended to leave; she knew he was really waiting outside for her under the tree.

She pretended to be really sleepy and wished her mother a good night as soon as they all left. She wanted to rush out the widow right away, but she was afraid her mother might check on her. On the other hand, she was also afraid that Drusilla would appear at one end of the street and stake Spike right in front of her.

Finally, she could take it no more and she shimmied out the window and down to the ground.

"Spike!" she whispered sharply.

"Here, pet. Afraid I wouldn't wait?"

She threw her arms around him in a tight hug.

"You're all right."

"Yeah, but it's a good thing I don't need to breathe."

"Sorry," she reluctantly let him go. "Remember that dream I told you about. The one in which you died?" He nodded. "Well, my mom was in it, wearing the same dress she wore tonight, and she said, 'Is it time,' and knocked over a glass."

"Not sure I follow."

"She did it in the dream; tonight she did it for real. The two scenes were identical. You're in danger, Spike. We need to. . . I don't know, but we have to be careful."

"You don't want to go patrolling tonight?"

"Yeah, that would be bad. That's just asking for trouble."

"Look, Buffy, it's a big night. Lot's of vampires will be out."

"So I'll go, and you go inside. Wait for me in my room. You'll be safe there. You're the only vampire who has an invite." He looked like he was about to protest. "Please?" she begged.

He gave in. "Be safe."

Even knowing Spike was inside her house, she worried about him as she patrolled. She did her patrol as quickly as she could. Spike was right. It was a big night. She made a pass by the clubs and bars and must have found half a dozen vampires, each a solitary hunter.

Having decided she'd done her sacred duty for the night, she rushed back home. She found him lying safely in her bed reading, of all things, her English book. He looked up as she came in and put the book aside. She got on the bed with him, and hugged him.

"How'd it go?" he asked her in a hushed voice.

"Okay," she whispered back. "I think I staked six or so. You're all right?"

"Of course. Safe as houses. Nothing to worry about, luv. Really. I'll be fine."

"It's just Angelus almost killed you with that ritual. I'm so scared I'll lose you. And I had all these plans tonight and. . . "

"What sort of plans? I hope you weren't planning on a midnight rendezvous with some handsome devil?" he said with mock offense.

"As a matter of fact, I was," she teased.

She couldn't help but smile. Spike always made her smile. It's part of what she loved about him.

"And what were you and this gentleman of questionable character going to do?" he interrogated her.

"I thought. . . I mean. . . I wanted to, after patrol that is. . . go back to your place and stay the night?"

"And sleep?"

"Eventually. I wanted to. . . you know."

"Think I do. But I need to hear you say it. If you can't say it, pet, you're not ready."

"I want to make love to you. Or am I suppose to say-" he interrupted her with a kiss.

"That'll do just fine," he told her with a smile.

They snuck back out the window and headed back to his place. He had his arm around her, as she pressed herself against him, keeping a look out for anyone or anything dangerous.

As soon as they got inside his apartment, he swept her off her feet and began kissing her. He moved her over to the bed and laid her down on it.

"We don't have to do this," he told her. "If you're not ready-"

"I'm ready. I'm beyond ready." She grabbed his belt and pulled him closer to her. She was scared he'd think she was just a kid, so she tried to act sure of herself. "I want your. . ?" she giggled. Shlong had been the first word to enter her mind. "What am I supposed to call it?" So much for her attempt to act grown up.

He smiled at her and threw his duster across the room. "Little Spike, you mean?"

She giggled again. "Yeah. See, I don't get that. I mean, there's the whole size thing, so why call it little whoever. Doesn't make sense."

He put his knee on the bed next to her; before he fully straddled her. "Don't know. Just do."

He put his hands on either side of her head as she lay against the sheets, finally on his hands and knees above her. Then he bent down to kiss her lightly.

"Say 'dick'," he told her.

She smiled. "Dick," she dutifully repeated and was rewarded with another kiss. This one deeper than the last.

"Say 'cock'."

"Cock."

He kissed her again.

"Say. . . 'little Spike'"

"Little Spike." She giggled on that one.

"Stick with cock."

He lay down on top of her and kissed her. This was the longest kiss of the night. He placed his hand on her cheek then moved it down her body. He gave her breast a little squeeze as it passed over the first mound, then down to her back, her ass, and then thigh. Finally he hooked her leg around his waist. The kiss only ended when she had to break gasping for air.

"And what is it you wanted to do with my cock?" he asked her, the huskiness of his voice sparking little shivers along her scalp.

"I want to hold it," she slid her hand down his chest to cup the growing bulge in his jeans. "Then I want you to put it inside me."

He growled at her, then began to kiss her even more insistently than before. She released his denim-clad cock so that she could undo his zipper. His hard member spilled into her hand and he whimpered with pleasure as she gave it a squeeze. Then, she pushed him back and ended the kiss.

"I want to undress you." Suddenly she was scared she was being too forward. "If that's okay?" she quickly added.

He chuckled, a deep throaty chuckle.

"Anything you want, pet."

She lifted his shirt up off his head, making sure to run her palms all over his chest. She looked at him for a moment - shirtless and with his erection sticking out of the black jeans. It was maybe the yummiest sight she'd ever seen. It made her fingers itch and her mouth water.

She grabbed his belt and unfastened it then began to slide his jeans off of his legs. She couldn't help but admire his well-muscled legs. She'd been too distracted by his cock earlier that morning to take in the rest of him, and the rest was very nice, too.

Then she realized her mistake. She'd forgotten about his boots. She plucked at the laces and pulled them off, then threw the offending footwear aside. She finished with the pants, then looked at her work. He was gorgeous; she wanted to lick him from head to toe.

Before she'd had all the time she wanted to ogle him, he smiled wickedly at her and asked, "My turn?"

She nodded, still enraptured by the way his abs met the dark hair above his cock.

He reached for her and spun her around so that he was behind her. He lifted her hair up and kissed her neck. Then he began to unzip her dress, kissing and tasting her back as he revealed each section of it. She was jealous. Why hadn't she thought about doing that to him?

He pulled the dress over her head and then pressed himself against her back. She felt his erection press against her ass and she moved against him slowly. His hands gripped her hips tightly and he moaned as he dipped his head to kiss her neck again.

He slipped the straps of her bra off her shoulders - onc at a time - kissing each shoulder as he did so. His undid the clasp, removed the bra, and tossed it across the room. Then he cupped her breasts. As he did so, he shifted lower so that his cock was now between her legs and began to rub himself against her.

He rolled her breasts in his hands, his thumbs playing with her nipples as his mouth began to work at her neck again. As he did so he mumbled a series of compliments, "So beautiful, so good, Buffy."

She began to move with him. The tip of his cock pressed against her folds, teased her opening, becoming slick with her juices. She reached around behind them to grab his ass with each hand.

"Oh god! Buffy!" he panted.

One of his hands caressed down her torso, allowing one of his fingers to slip inside of her.

"Spike," she gasped.

"Do you like that?" he asked.

"Yes. More," she ordered.

A second finger entered her, spreading her further. She began to move harder against his fingers, eager for the sensations they'd filled her with earlier. She squeezed his ass harder. Then to her disappointment he pulled his fingers out and pulled back from her.

She whimpered in disappointment, and released his ass as she looked over her shoulder in confusion at him. He put his fingers to his mouth and sucked her juices off of them.

"Lie down," he told her.

Eagerly she did so, excited and nervous about what was coming next. Shyly, she opened her legs for him. He lay across her and kissed her deeply; his tongue explored her as if they'd never kissed before. His fingers went back inside her, and began stroking her inside again.

Once again he began to kiss his way down her body. This time from the front. When he reached her breasts he took one of her nipples into his mouth and sucked on it. He lightly bit her nipple and her hips surged up off the bed.

"OOOOOH!" she screamed with surprise as her whole body shook with the force of the unexpected orgasm.

When her eyes refocused, she found Spike grinning wickedly at her.

"Well, well, well. Isn't that interesting?" he drawled.

Then he sucked her other nipple into his mouth. After a moment he began to kiss his way lower down her body. Suddenly it occurred to her just what he intended to do.

"That's okay. . . you don't have to. . . "

He looked up, "Want to."

Then his head was between her thighs. He pulled her legs over his shoulders while his fingers continued to work her pussy. Now his thumb moved aside and he blew a shot of air against her clit. She gasped in delight at the sensation; his cold, wet tongue was on her. Sucking her, licking her, worshiping her.

Her body had become so sensitive to his slightest touch that another orgasm was on her almost instantly. She dug her heels into his back as her hands clutched the sheets. She had to push back with everything she had at the feelings that exploded with in her. It was too much. It was unbearable, yet wonderful all at once. His mouth on her was better than anything she'd ever imagined.

When she finally regained control of her limbs, she released the vice grip her legs had on his upper body. As her legs fell away to the sides, she saw two purple bruises on his back, where her heels had been.

"Oh my God. I hurt you." She was horrified. She'd let herself be just a girl for one evening, forgotten she was the Slayer, and she had hurt Spike.

He chuckled and crawled up her body like a jungle cat. Once again he sucked her juices off of his fingers.

"Aren't you the wild one?" She blushed at his words. "Don't worry about it, pet. Nothing wrong with a little pain. You sure seemed to like the nip I gave you earlier."

He cupped her face with one hand and kissed her. She could taste herself on his tongue as it snaked its way into her mouth. His other hand fell to her breast, and her legs wrapped around his waist. She rubbed herself up and down the length of his cock.

She broke off the kiss, gasping for air.

"So, are we going to do this or not?" she teased.

"You got somewhere else to be?" he asked.

He pressed the base of his cock against her clit, eliciting another tortured moan from her.

"I don't want to be anywhere that's not touching you," she said.

He began nuzzling her neck as his hands roamed over her body. She closed her eyes and simply enjoyed his touch.

"Are you stalling?" she asked suddenly.

"Hm?"

"Staling. Putting off the, well, the actual sex. Don't you want to?"

"Oh god, Buffy. I want you so badly, but I don't want to rush you."

She laughed. "We are so past rushing. I'm ready, Spike. I want you. I feel this empty place that you were just made to fit." She paused then looked him right in the eyes. "I love you."

"Love you too, pet. So much it scares me at times."

He kissed her slowly and deeply as his body shifted above her. Then she felt the tip of his cock at her entrance. He pulled back to look at her, his eyes warning her that he was about to begin. Slowly, gently he pushed his way inside her.

She gasped for breath, it was as if he was forcing the air out of her as his cock filled her. It was a little painful, being stretched like that, but it was also wonderful. It fulfilled some unnamed need in her.

He paused. "I'm sorry, pet. This next bit's going to hurt."

She nodded. She didn't have breath to answer verbally. Her insides were fluttering about widely.

"Ah," she cried.

Her fingers dug into his shoulder. She knew it was supposed to hurt, but she was the Slayer, she thought she'd be ready for it. She wasn't. It was over in a moment though, and Spike was inside her up to the hilt. She looked at Spike and saw that his eyes had gone from blue to gold.

More than almost anything that excited her. She didn't care about the pain. Spike had vamped. That loss of self-control on his part made if feel - for the first time - like he was really as passionate about her as she was about him.

He began to move in and out of her slowly. The vacuum that he left when he pulled out made her tingle all over, until she was completed by him filling her once again.

"So good, so hot, so tight," he panted.

Her body began to move in tune to his rhythm. She began to lose herself in his movements. Each time he thrust into her his pelvic bone grazed her clit, sending sparks up her spine. She began to urge him to move a little faster.

His words became unintelligible moans. A sense of triumph went through her at the thought that she was finally making him lose control, that he enjoyed her as much as she enjoyed him. Then her thoughts disappeared as the slow build inside of her burst.

Her body jerked and writhed beneath him as she pulled him over the edge with her. When she stilled, he lay quiet on top of her. After a moment he pushed himself up on his arms.

"How are you?" he asked.

"Perfect," she said with a smile.

Then she realized that something was bothering him.

"What's wrong? Is it me? Did I. . ? Was it not good?"

"No, luv. Nothing like that. You were, you are, wonderful. Nothing's wrong. Promise."

She didn't believe him. Something was wrong. She studied his face for a minute, the golden eyes, the amazing cheekbones, the fangs. Then it hit her.

"Is it the blood? I mean, is there blood?" she asked.

A look that she thought might be shame, crossed his face.

"It's okay," she reassured him. "If you want to. . . taste it. I don't mind. If you want to lick me?" she was still a little embarrassed by the words. And she wondered if he knew that it was partly a selfish request.

She certainly didn't mind him tasting her blood, and the thought of him licking her again down there, made her quiver.

"It really is okay. About the blood. If you want."

He waited a moment, then slowly pulled out of her. He moved down her body one more time, and buried his face back between her legs.

She surrendered once again to the pleasure as he renewed her memory of all power of his mouth. No, she didn't mind him tasting her blood at all.
 

Chapter 32: Innocence (Part 1 of )

Warning: The next several chapters are much darker and violent than the preceding ones have been. Spike is going to do some not nice things and there is some Spike/Drusilla

A/N My laptop has been damaged, where I had all the e-mail addresses of people who wanted updates by e-mail. So I’ve lost all those addresses. If you were on that list, sorry that you didn’t get told about this update, and please send me your e-mail again so I can reconstruct the list. My e-mail is icemink@mac.com.

Slowly, bit by bit, it all fell away. The pain, the confusion, the disgust and loathing that had been a constant part of Spike's life since he had regained his soul. It was hard to feel any of that when he was cloaked in Buffy's scent and covered with her warmth.

He looked at her sleeping face, where she lay curled in his arms, and for the first time in his existence he felt truly loved. Peace settled over him and he was still.

Suddenly there was pain, like he was being ripped apart inside. He pulled himself up and away from the bed, careful not to disturb her. The pain intensified and he fell to his knees. Not knowing what was wrong, but not wanting to worry Buffy, he stumbled out of the small flat into the night.

As the cool, welcoming evening greeted him, he screamed. It was as if a fiery hand was ripping something out of him. Then it was gone. The pain subsided, and he was still again.

"Hey? You okay?" a woman asked, looking at him warily. "You want me to call 911?"

He rose slowly to his feet. Not because he was unsure, but because he was remembering. Remembering what it was to be a vampire. For a hundred years the demon within him had been caged, forced to sit on the sidelines with no control of the life he led. Now it was free again.

He moved on pure instinct. He was across the alley in the blink of an eye and his fangs descended into the woman's tender neck. Her body convulsed for just a second, then he let her go. Her body hit the ground with a wet thud. She was already forgotten by Spike. Hot human blood coursed through his body. There was no guilt, no shame. Killer, murderer, demon. The words greeted him like old friends.

And there, deep down, he could feel her. Drusilla. Calling to him. It wasn't new. The call of his sire had never vanished, but he had learned the hard way that he would not be welcomed home. Things were different now.

He had nearly left the alley when he stepped on a broken bottle and cut his foot. Annoyed, he returned to his flat to dress. As he went back inside he tried to avoid looking at the sleeping figure on his bed, but her heartbeat called to him.

He stood over her, looking down at her innocent sleeping form. He could reach out and snap her neck before she knew what happened. Or, he could crawl back in the bed with her and simply sink his fangs into her. She would wake, but it would be too late. She'd be too weak. He'd hold her captive in his arms as the life drained out of her into him.

But he didn't do either of those things. His hand hovered above her for long moments. Then he turned away and grabbed his duster. He started to put it on, then stopped. Nikki's coat. The symbol of the tragic farce that he had lived for the last hundred years. He threw the coat back on the floor and left his old life behind.

Instinct was driving him again. She was out there, calling to him, brining him home. He found himself at a factory. A fledgling was doing a poor job of standing guard. The young vampire saw and recognized Spike a moment to late.

Spike punched the minion sending him through the door he had been guarding.

"Good to know some things never change," Spike announced as he stepped over the body of the fledgling. "It's still hard to find good help."

"Spike!" Angelus shouted.

Spike couldn't help but smile when he saw that his grandsire was bound to a wheelchair.

"Do we have any guards at all?" Angelus shouted.

"William?" Drusilla asked. "He's come back. My knight has come back."

She clapped her hands and dashed up the stairs. She threw her arms around Spike.

"Daddy, look. We're a family again."

Spike grabbed her by the shoulders and kissed her hard.

"That's right, baby. I'm back," he told her.

He took her hand and led her down the stairs and looked around.

"What's with the funny boxes?" he asked.

"They're for my party," Drusilla said. "It's going to be the best party, the last party."

Spike moved to open one of the oddly shaped boxes and look inside, when Angelus reached over and stopped him.

"Now how do we know it's really you, me boy?"

Spike looked around the room, finding the source of the erratic heartbeat he heard. A young girl was huddled in one corner. There were no chains holding her; they weren't needed. She was too terrified to move. Spike hauled the girl to her feet and sunk his fangs into her neck.

Drusilla pulled on his arm. "Now, now. None of that. She's for Daddy. Don't you know what happens when you take Daddy's treats?"

He released the sobbing girl.

"Just making a point, Dru," he reassured her.

Angelus laughed. "Well, it seems we have cause to celebrate after all."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Buffy stretched as she slowly came awake. As she remembered where she was she rolled over looking for Spike. The warm satisfied feeling she had began to dissipate as she realized he wasn't there.

She pulled the blanket up off the bed and wrapped it around her as she looked around the small apartment for Spike. He wasn't there. She returned to the bedroom to retrieve her clothes. As she began searching out her clothes, she stumbled across Spike's duster lying on the floor. Panic filled her; Spike never went anywhere without his duster.

She picked it up and shook it out. She clutched it to her and ran through the apartment again. This time she wasn't looking for a vampire, but a pile of dust. To her relief, although there was some dust, it wasn't enough - or piled the right way - to account for a vampire.

She finished getting dressed and started to head outside when she realized that the sun had just come up and that she wouldn't find him out there. She knew there was a sewer entrance from within the apartment building, but she had no way of tracking Spike through the sewers, if that was even where he'd gone.

Feeling helpless, Buffy retreated back inside and sat in Spike's armchair. She hugged his duster close to her and breathed in its scent. Leather and smoke and Spike. She didn't know whether the coat smelled like him or he smelled like the coat. It was supposed to comfort her. The scent, the texture. But it didn't. Instead, Buffy's mind spun helplessly from one horrible scenario to another.

Time dragged by at a monstrously slow pace and there was no sign of Spike. Finally Buffy realized that it was late enough in the day that if she didn't get home soon, her mother would realized that she had been out all night. Reluctantly, she left Spike's place and headed home.

The rest of the day passed in a worried haze. Buffy got home and made sure to make an appearance in her pajamas, so her mother wouldn't suspect she'd been out all night. She hung around her house long enough to grab some lunch, then she disappeared into the bright streets of Sunnydale to search for her missing lover.

She went all over town. Visited everyone whom she knew Spike knew. Even if she couldn't possibly come up with a reason why Spike would visit Xander's house, she checked anyway. No one had seen him. She broadened her search to the demon bars, and anyplace she thought Spike might possibly visit. There was still no sign of him.

Finally, exhausted, she returned to his apartment. Her only hope left was that he would come back soon. Of course she knew that he was unlikely to return before sundown. She hoped and prayed that he'd just been trapped somewhere by the rising sun.

After hours spent jumping at the smallest sound in hopes that it would be Spike, she almost didn't notice when the door opened.

"SPIKE!" she cried with relief as she vaulted his furniture to envelop him in a hug.

"Hey, pet. Something up?" he asked.

She released him from the hug to look up into his eyes.

"I've been worried sick about you. Where have you been? I was so worried."

"Got trapped by the sun. Didn't mean to worry you."

"Where'd you go? Why'd you leave?" Suddenly she was worried that she was being too pushy. Too controlling. She didn't want to become the psycho-girlfriend who always had to keep tabs on her boyfriend.

"Just needed some air. Space to think. Last night. . . it was a life changing sort of thing, wasn't it?"

Buffy smiled in relief. "Yeah, it really was. So it was good and all?"

"Bloody amazing."

"I'm sorry about the wiggins. I was just scared I'd lost you. I don't want to be apart from you. Ever."

She hugged him again.

"Don't worry, Buffy," he whispered into her hair. "We're going to be together forever," he murmured as the back of his hand ran down her throat.

Chapter 33: Innocence (Part 2 of 2)

He felt like an idiot. He'd spent every moment since last night trying to drive thoughts of Buffy out of his mind, but never once had it occurred to him that his disappearance might hurt her. Of course he'd mostly been trying to forget her.

She was the Slayer; he was a vampire. There relationship should have been simple, clean. Kill or be killed. But it wasn't. Nothing was simple anymore.

He'd returned to his sire, his dark princess, his savior and she'd greeted him with open arms. But it wasn't enough. He had taken her over and over, trying to exorcise from his body the memory of the Slayer; it didn't work.

Then the solution had come to him. It was obvious; simple. If he couldn't rid himself of his desire for the Slayer, he'd make her his.

His arms still around Buffy, he moved her towards his old bed. He sat her down and brushed her hair off of her face and back behind her ears.

"It's going to be okay," he told her.

He leaned forward to kiss her and she caught his mouth with hers. He began to kiss her passionately as he lay her back on the bed. Her legs wrapped themselves around his waist as she began to move against him.

He was delighted by how quickly she responded to him. How eager she was for him. The magnificent scent of her arousal hit him, and he was filled with fantasies about what it would be like to have her as his childe.

His hands moved to her shoulders, and he ran them up her arms, loosing her hold on him as he raised her arms above their heads. He tangled his fingers in hers and held her down. He broke off from her eager kisses to nuzzle her neck.

She giggled his name, "Spike."

His fangs sank into her neck. He bit her gently, wanting to enjoy the elixir that was her blood. She cried out, first with surprise, then with pleasure. She writhed beneath him, but not because she was trying to escape him, she trusted him as completely as she had the night before.

As the blood began to pour down his throat, so did the doubt and the fear. He remembered what it had been like to have her as a childe in the nightmare they had shared. The love and devotion that had poured through their bond. But he also remembered that in that transformation she had kept her soul. His mind began to twist with possibilities as he began to doubted what he was doing.

What if she ended up like his mother? What if the demon turned on him? Rejected him? What if when her soul was gone he lost whatever it was he loved in her?

Her heartbeat began to weaken, her legs released their hold on him, and she called out his name, the smallest edge of doubt in her voice. Still she trusted him.

It was the trust that made him stop. He wasn’t sure that anyone had put that kind of complete trust in him before.He let go of her and stumbled back into the doorway. Her hand fluttered to her neck.

"Spike?" confusion and a hint of fear crept into her voice.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," he muttered under his breath as he backed away from her, his features reverting back to human.

She tried to rise to follow him, but was light headed and sank back down on the bed.

He ran from the flat. He needed to kill, not for sustinence, the Slayer blood pumpping through his veins would fuel him for a while, but the demon demanded a sacriice in lieu of the slayer. As he burst into the hallway, he nearly knocked over Jenny Calendar. Confused he looked at her, wondering what Rupert's bird would be doing at his place.

Then he smelled her fear. She had never been afraid of him before. In fact, she usually seemed rather curious about Spike, like he was a specimen under glass.

"Uh, hi. Spike. You're home," she stuttered as she backed away from him.

He slammed his hand against the wall near her head, stopping her from moving any further toward the exit.

"You know," he growled. "How?" He wasn't sure that she did, but he was willing to gamble that something was going on here.

"I. . . uh."

The terror in her eyes clearly showed he was correct.

"Shhh, it's okay," he softened. "Not going to hurt you. Just tell me what you know." When she still didn't answer he smiled at her and said, "Then I guess we'll go see Rupert. Can't promise I won't hurt him though."

She nodded in understanding and swallowed hard.

"I'm a gypsy. From the same clan that cursed you." She stopped for a moment, trying to judge Spike's reaction.

"Go on."

"We. . . I was sent to watch you. To make sure that you. . . that you still suffered." Suddenly she started to talk very rapidly. "I didn't know, I swear. They never told me that the curse could be broken, and you were doing so much good and-"

"Back up. How exactly was the curse broken?"

"The curse was supposed to make you suffer, so if you ever stopped suffering, if you ever experienced one moment of perfect happiness. . ." her voice trailed off.

Spike began to laugh. Not just a little. Loud hysterical laughter gripped him as he pulled away from the terrified teacher. He stumbled down the hallway towards the exit. He stopped for a moment, still gripping his stomach and bracing himself against the wall.

"You may want to call a doctor," he told the teacher as he nodded in the direction of the door to his flat.

A look of understanding crossed her face and she ran for the door, calling worriedly for Buffy.

Despite his desire to kill, he let her go. After all Sunnydale was an all night buffet. Besides he figured Jenny was going to have to come clean about her secrets now. He wanted, needed to know how they would deal with a traitor in their midst.

And he knew Buffy, knew her heart. Attacking her wouldn’t be enough to turn her against him. She expected to die, to give her life for others. She would fight him if she had to, but she wouldn’t have it in her to kill him, not yet. But if he killed someone close to her, that would be it. She would come for him then, and he wasn’t ready for that. Not yet.

Spike chuckled, tried to regain some of his composure, and then stumbled back off into the night.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Jenny Calendar burst through the door of Spike's apartment, scared of what she might find. She'd been searching for Buffy all day, ever since her uncle had come to see her. In typical fashion he hadn't simply told her why he had come, but started by lecturing her on vengeance, the cause to which they had dedicated themselves.

She had tried to argue with him, to explain that Spike had become a warrior for good. That their vengeance may have led to something greater. But he wouldn't listen. Besides, he had told her it no longer mattered; the curse had been broken. Spike had lost his soul.

Jenny had been shocked. Although her people had sent her to watch Spike, to make sure he suffered and the curse held, they had never told her the curse could be broken. It was typical. She had been chosen because she was more American, she would blend in and no one would suspect her true purpose. But for all those reasons her people had never entrusted her with all the facts of her mission. She could have prevented this if she had only known. But it was too late now for such regrets.

Inside she found Buffy clutching her neck and stumbling out of the bedroom.

"Ms. Calendar?" she asked weekly.

"It's going to be okay," Jenny tried to reassure the teenager. "We'll get you to a hospital and-"

"No, I'm fine. We have to. . . Something's wrong with Spike. We have to help him."

Jenny's heart broke for the young girl.

"I don't think we can, Buffy. He's lost his soul. We should really get you to a doctor."

"No, Giles. If something's happened to Spike, Giles'll know what to do."

"Alright, but if he says you need a doctor, you'll go?"

Buffy nodded. Jenny helped the girl to her car. Seeing Rupert right now would be a mixed blessing. Jenny knew that she had to come clean, admit that she had been lying to him about who she was. It wasn't something she was looking forward to, but it would be better to get it over with.

They drove in silence to Rupert's apartment. Buffy stared vacantly out the window, focused on some far distant point.

"My God, Buffy. What happened?" Rupert Giles (he isn’t Rupert to her.)asked when he opened his door to them.

Buffy answered him by collapsing against him and breaking down into tears. Awkwardly, Rupert put his arms around her.

"There, there," he muttered as he pulled her inside, and giving Jenny a puzzled look.

She smiled weakly at him. Despite his uncomfortableness with the burst of emotion from the teenage girl, Jenny couldn't help but once again be touched by the paternal concern he had for his Slayer.

They had spent long hours talking about the children who occupied so much of their lives. They both shared childhoods that had been dominated by parents who had clear ideas of what their children should do-- and how they should do it. They had grown up constantly comparing themselves to their parent’s notions of who they should be.

But the California teenagers who had entered their lives had parents who were so wrapped up in their own lives that they let their children run around and do as they liked. They ran around fighting the forces of darkness and none of their parents were aware of it. Buffy was the only one who even had to take pains to keep her mother from finding out. Rupert Jenny and Giles had found themselves filling a role somewhere in between parent, mentor, and friend.

Now Rupert found himself clearly expected to fill the role of father-- but without the benefit of vast experiences of skinned knees and monster's under the bed-- to guide him.

He guided Buffy to the couch, without being able unable to get anything intelligible out of her. Jenny sat down near them and took a deep breath. It was time for Jenny to tell them the truth, to tell them who she really was. She only hoped she'd still have a place among them when she was done.