Chapter 23: Making a decision

It’s quiet in the bronze tonight. I wouldn’t have bothered coming except I knew Buffy was going to be here. She’s over there dancing with the Whelp and demon girl. She knows I’m here - gave me one of her smiles when she spotted me, and I know she’ll probably kiss me if I can get her on her own at some point. It’s not as easy as I would like unfortunately. The Scooby’s seem to surround her like the soddin’ palace guard whenever I’m around.

She’s been back for nearly a month now. She hasn’t told any of her ‘friends’ (and I use the tern loosely) where she was yet. They’re still happy in their delusion that they played the gallant hero’s and pulled her out of some hell dimension. I just think they’re in denial. Can’t they tell how more subdued she is now than she was before? Can’t they see the resentment towards them behind her eyes? I know she tries to hide it well; maybe I’m just that good at reading her…nah, I’m thinking it’s denial!

The watcher came back. At least he noticed she wasn’t quiet right. I don’t think he’s quite twigged yet either, but he had more of a clue than the Scooby’s. I’d talk to him about it if I thought he would listen. But he’s of the same opinion as the rest of them when it comes to my involvement with the slayer. I’m evil and soulless and they need to protect her from me.

Spike = Vampire = Dangerous. They’re so narrow-minded! It doesn’t seem to matter what the slayer wants as long as she’s doing what they want her to do. She looks so beautiful tonight. I love it when she wears her leather pants! God I wish I could go over there and dance with her. It tears me apart to be this close and not be able to hold her in my arms. I’ve been doing that for her a lot recently, when the nightmares come or when the world just seems too much. She’ll sneak away when the witches are asleep (Dawn’s in the know of course) and come see me in the crypt. She says she prefers it there because all her memories from there are happy ones! We’re definitely still ‘a thing’ as she calls it, but we’re not telling the Scooby’s this time.

No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies

We don’t want another repeat of last times fiasco. We’re happy, Dawn’s happy - that’s all that matters. Buffy has enough on her mind without dealing with their petty minded arguments. The whelp came to see me the day after she came back to warn me not to start up my ‘obsession’ again now she was back. Wanker! No matter how many times I told him how much I loved her before she left and over the summer he wouldn’t believe a word of it, said I was just playing mind games with her. I might have gotten to her before she died because she was vulnerable but I wasn’t getting near her this time - they were going to make sure of it! Damn fine job they’ve been doing during the day. They’ve even tried to do patrols with her but she always ditches them in the end and then it’s just the two of us.

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

Of course I really don’t care what the Scooby’s think…but sometimes I do wonder what it would be like if we could be together openly, if Buffy didn’t have to worry about loosing people she cares about because of her feelings. When we’re together though, it’s as if the rest of the world melts away and all there is, is us. Nothing else matters. Even if we’re just lying together in silence we’re happy.

I have hours; only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

God the hours I’ve spent plotting the horrible hideous deaths of those Scooby’s. It gives me something to do when I can’t get to Buffy. She says they can’t know yet, that they’re not strong enough to handle that news yet. I say bollocks! If they were strong enough to do the magic they’re strong enough to deal with the consequences of their actions. Oh she’s coming over to the bar now…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you

It’s hard work to keep this smile plastered on my face, to make them think that everything is ok, that I don’t sometimes wish I could just shake them and say ‘do you know what you’ve done to me?’ Spike thinks I should tell them. He thinks it’ll help me heal. Maybe he’s right. But I can’t handle all the tears and guilt trips that will come with it. It’s bad enough that they watch me all the time to try and keep Spike away from me, what will they be like if they think they have to worry about me slitting my wrists all the time. Oh I thought about it for a few hours, until I saw Spike again.

No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

It takes all of my restraint not to slap Xander when he makes those snide comments to Spike or about him. I tell him to shut up and remind him of all the good things Spike has done…but the second the words leave my mouth they get uber protective all over again! Now they know his chip has gone they’re even more wary of him than they were before. When I didn’t leap into his arms the second I was out of the coffin they assumed I was over him and they want to keep it that way. I know they’ve been threatening Spike too. I’ve heard Willow and Xander talking about a spell they can use against him since Xander and Giles can’t take advantage of the chip anymore.

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I think I should feel bad about lying to these people who have been my friends for years but I don’t. They think they did this wonderful thing by bringing me back, and now they’re trying to keep me away from the one thing that makes being alive worth while. I think that’s the only thing I missed while I was in heaven. Spike. And the closest I come to heaven now I’m here is when I’m with Spike. When I’m in that state where I’m not completely asleep but I’m not quite awake either and I’m in his arms, I feel warm, safe, and loved. Sounds a lot like heaven to me! So why should I feel bad about not telling them some stuff when I know they’d try and take it away from me?

I have hours; only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

I’m gonna go over to the bar and talk to him. None of the others have spotted him yet. I’ve been away from him for too long. He smiles at me when I get there. One of those special Spike smiles reserved just for me. He takes my hand and lifts it to his lips, those oh so soft lips. Suddenly it seems a travesty that I haven’t taken him to bed yet. Yes we’ve slept together since I got back but we haven’t slept together. If he can bring me heaven by holding me imagine what he can do when other body parts besides arms are involved! Screw the Scooby’s and their ‘lets be happy at the bronze’ party, I’m going to do what I want to do tonight and I don’t care who knows! I give him that smile that tells him exactly what is going to happen. His eyes get a fraction wider until the surprise wears off and is replaced by his sexy smirk. I don’t resist when he grabs my hand and starts pulling me out of the bronze and towards his crypt, I don’t notice if anyone knows I’ve just left without saying a word…and right now I don’t really care.

Chapter 24: Taking back my life

Neither Buffy nor Spike could explain how they had gotten from the door of his crypt down to the lower level and lost all of their clothes in the process without actually having stopped their frantic kissing. This wasn’t just a ‘God I’m horny!’ kiss, or an ‘I’m glad to see you!’ kiss. This was pure, unadulterated passion. Months of repressed longing and forced abstinence freeing one from the necessity of breathing and the other from worrying about being gentle. Lips were bruised and bitten, tongues duelled furiously, yet despite the fury, neither doubted the fierce love radiating from the other in that kiss.

When they finally broke apart their foreheads rested together as they stared into each other’s eyes, seeing down into the fiery depths that now consumed them both. Buffy had to gasp as she beheld the raging emotions swirling in the blue orbs, darkened with lust and desire.

Before Buffy knew what was happening she was roughly pushed onto the edge of the bed with a lusty vampire between her legs, eager to get to work. Buffy's eyes were squeezed tightly shut, hands grasping at the sheets. The first brush of his lips made her fall back onto the bed, hips arching towards him with a small whimper. His tongue flicked her throbbing clit, and then ran along both of her feminine lips before thrusting into her hot core. "Please.” she begged as his tongue continued to explore. He stopped suddenly only to attack her clit with his blunt teeth and tongue. He latched onto the swollen nub, suckling it, flicking it over and over. She started to move her hips, rubbing against his face as her orgasm built to a fiery crescendo. She flew over the precipice, white lights flashing behind her eyes. So powerful was her climax that she couldn't form a coherent word as a pleasure filled scream tore from her throat. It had definitely been too long!

“Very good.” Buffy finally breathed, smiling down at him as he gazed up at her, a look of awe on his face. “Now I’m going to show you how good!” Spike’s eyes rolled back as Buffy wriggled back, then bending forward she licked the tip of his cock, wrapping her small hand around the base. The low growl of pleasure and the thrusting of his hips was all she needed to know he was enjoying her ministrations. She lavished the tip with her tongue, then sucked it into her mouth.

"Fuck, Buffy" Spike whimpered as she took more of him slowly into her mouth. She began bobbing her head, running her tongue and teeth over him as she tried to pleasure him as he always did her and it wasn’t long before “Buffy, I’m cumming” was growled. He tried to pull her away, but Buffy would have none of it, swallowing all he had to offer.

Now that I know what I’m without
you can't just leave me
breathe into me and make me real
bring me to life

Buffy’s sentence was cut off as she was suddenly flipped over onto her back with Spike now pinning her to the bed. Buffy suddenly felt the hardness she had in her mouth moments before now deep within her core. Spike grabbed her hands and pulled them above her head as he thrust into her, capturing both wrists in one hand. He brought his other hand between them, moving down into her folds to stroke her throbbing clit. Already on edge from their heightened emotions, she could feel her climax building already, her head smashing up into the mattress as she yelled out in mindless pleasure. She felt his fangs pierce the delicate skin of her neck as he continued to pump into her, thrusting up into her to the hilt.

All this time I can't believe I couldn't see
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I’ve been sleeping a thousand years it seems
got to open my eyes to everything

Spike smiled and rolled off of her onto his back, pulling her against him where she pillowed her head on his chest, drawing idle patterns on his cool skin.

“Love you.” She mumbled sleepily, the exertion their acts catching up with her at last.

“Love you too kitten.” He replied equally as sleepily, squeezing her just that little bit closer for emphasis and placing a soft kiss on the top of her head

“Oh my God!” Came a shocked voice from the steps leading to the upper level. Both Spike and Buffy shot up at the unexpected intrusion, suddenly feeling much more awake.

“Riley?”

Chapter 25: Just deserts

“Riley?” Buffy repeated incredulously, grabbing the sheet to wrap around her nude form

“Buffy.” Riley replied stiffly, not looking at her and blatantly ignoring Spike, the disgust coming off him in waves.

Spike remained silent, just watching. He didn’t know whether to be happy that soldier boy had caught them, rub his nose in the fact that Buffy was his, or be worried. Sure Buffy had told him before she was the one who had dumped Riley and that he was the one she loved now - hell she’d even let him claim her! But there was always going to be that nagging little voice in the back of his head. It had been a good five minutes and still no one seemed to have moved.

“What are you doing here?” Buffy asked at last, her tone neutral, not giving anything away.

“Tracking a demon.” Riley replied, still refusing to look at her.

“That explains why you’re in Sunnydale.” Buffy commented, her voice becoming cool, “But not why you are in Spike’s crypt!” When Riley didn’t answer Buffy began to get annoyed. “What were you going to do Riley?”

“Only what you should have done years ago!” Riley spat, looking at her at last. The contempt on his face made Buffy laugh.

“Still not over your Spike jealousy I see!” She chuckled. “Oh yeah, that reminds me.” With three strides Buffy was in front of Riley hitting him square in the Jaw with enough force to knock him unconscious.

“Err not that I’m complaining luv,” Spike commented from across the room “but was there a reason for that?”

“I still owed him for what he did to you before he left.” she replied matter of factly, walking back into Spike’s arms. “I’m kind of disappointed it only took one shot to knock him out. I wanted to play with him!”

Spike laughed, falling just that little bit more in love with her every second. “That’s my girl!”

“Yeah.” Replied Buffy wistfully, her fingers reaching up to touch the healing bite mark on her neck. “I really am.”

Spike kissed her then. He still couldn’t believe she had let him place a claim on her, that not only had she accepted but also she was actually the one who had asked for it. Now everyone would know she was his for life. He only wished she could return it the same way a vampiress would be able to, but sadly the lack of fangs made that not exactly possible. For now it was enough that his claim on her was binding.

“We should probably get dressed.” Buffy announced with a sigh when they pulled apart.

“But I like naked Buffy!” Spike pouted.

“And I like naked Spike,” Buffy supplied, but do you really want Riley ogling my goodies?” Spike’s possessive growl was her answer, quickly followed by his reaching for their clothes.

Just as Buffy was doing up her shirt and Spike was slipping into his jeans another presence made itself known.

“Oh my God Riley?”

Buffy’s brow furrowed as she took in the female commando who had dropped into the lower level of the crypt and was now bending over the slowly coming to Riley. Suddenly the women seemed to notice that she wasn’t alone and turned to face the fully dressed Buffy and shirtless Spike. Quickly she pulled a cross and held it towards Buffy who was standing slightly nearer. Spike smirked and Buffy raised an eyebrow in question.

“Why are you pointing that thing at me?” She asked. “I’m not a vampire!”

“But…” The woman looked between the Spike and Buffy, apparently very confused. “Riley said this was a nest…”

Spike laughed. “Not quite a nest luv.” He told her “Just me.” When the cross was quickly pointed at Spike who didn’t even dignify the gesture with a flinch, Buffy rolled her eyes.

“Yes he’s a vampire and no he’s not going to hurt any one.” She told the woman. “I was the one who knocked Riley out.”

“But you’re just a girl!” the woman said, incredulous.

“”I’d be insulted if I were you slayer.” Spike supplied.

The woman’s eyes widened. “You’re the slayer? But I thought you killed vampires!”

“I do.” Buffy replied, already bored with this conversation. “Just not the ones I’m in love with.”

“You’re in love with that monster?!” Riley cried, finally coming round.

“Yes I am.” Buffy told him dangerously. “And if you don’t want to be unconscious again you’ll be careful what you say about him! Now what are you doing here?”

“We were tracking a demon,” The woman supplied “But Riley said there was a nest here. He was going to empty it out while I followed the demon.”

“What kind of demon?” Buffy asked, already planning a punishment for Riley for his intention of killing spike. Not that she believed for a second that he could have pulled it off - please! Spike would have kicked his ass in seconds!

“Doesn’t matter, its dead.” She replied, helping Riley to his feet.

“On your own? Well done!” Buffy asked.

“I’m well trained. I’m Sam by the way.” The woman beamed at praise form the slayer, apparently not caring that there was still a vampire in the room. If the slayer said it was ok then it was ok.

“Nice to meet you.” Buffy replied “But Riley let you go take on a demon alone while he came here to try and kill Spike? I guess he got over his me man must protect little woman routine!”

Recognition flashed in Sam’s eyes. “You’re Buffy and Spike!”

“Give the girl a cookie.” Spike snarked. “What about it?”

But Sam didn’t reply, she just turned to Riley, punching him on the other side of his jaw, sending him flat on his ass. “You ass hole!!” She screamed. “You said you were over her! You send me after a demon that could have killed me while you satisfy your macho male pride?”

“Again, not that I’m complaining,” Spike commented. “But what did captain cardboard do toy piss you off?”

Sam fumed. “When we got together he told me his last girlfriend Buffy, ran off with some guy Spike. Of course he forgot to mention that Buffy was the slayer and Spike was a vampire!” Sam kicked Riley again for good measure.

Buffy laughed. “You want the real story?” Sam nodded. “I dumped Riley because he was a possessive, judgemental moron. I wasn’t even with Spike at the time but of course Spike being a vampire naturally deserves to be beaten to a pulp while he can’t defend himself just so Riley can feel like a big man. Not big enough to hang around though. He skipped town right after!”

Sam looked disgusted, looking towards Spike for conformation. He just nodded. “I can’t believe you!” She yelled at Riley “Everything you’ve ever told me was a lie! We’re finished.” With that she kicked him once more and went to leave. Once she reached the upper level once more however she stuck her head back down through the hole. “And your lousy in bed too!”

Spike laughed hysterically when Buffy commented that she would have to agree…

“You know,” Spike commented several hours later, “I almost felt sorry for soldier boy!”

“Really?” Buffy asked sleepily from her position on his chest as she curled her self around him after hours of exhausting lovemaking.

“Almost.” He replied. “I mean first you knock him out, then his woman dumps him and beat him a bit more, then you give him a proper going over before he leaves…you know love I think you broke his nose!”

“Don’t care!” Buffy mumbled, sleep edging closer.

“Think he’ll the Scooby’s about us?” Spike asked.

Buffy shrugged. “Does it matter?”

“Not at all.” Spike replied softly kissing Buffy’s head as he pulled her closer, settling down to sleep. “Not at all.”

Chapter 26: Counting down…

Xander had been pacing the floor of his apartment for the last hour - ever since Riley had left! At first he’d been happy to see Riley after spending so long as the only male in the group, and with Riley around again maybe Buffy would have gotten over this weird Spike fixation she seemed to have. But all of his hopes had been quickly dashed when Riley had told him what he’d seen down in Spike’s crypt. Just the thought of it made Xander’s flesh crawl! Buffy had not only let that thing touch her, but claim her as well! She thought she was in love with him! Xander had thanked Riley for the information then spent the last hour trying to figure out exactly what had happened. Obviously Spike had done something to Buffy, he was sure Spike didn’t have a thrall like Dracula - but a spell maybe! Yes that must be it! A Spell to make Buffy his sex slave or something similarly depraved!

The next question was obviously what were they going to do about this? Once Buffy came to her right mind she would be furious that Spike had gotten away with this and they had to find a way to end this as quickly as possible. Willow! She would know what to do; she would be able to break any spell Spike might have thought up! Xander quickly ran to the phone and dialled the number he knew from memory…

“Morning.” Buffy mumbled against Spike’s bare chest as she awoke that evening.

“Morning luv.” Spike replied, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “You ready to get up?”

“Wanna stay here!” Buffy grumbled, snuggling closer to Spike, wrapping one of her arms around his waist to emphasise her point.

Spike chuckled. “You’re the one who wanted to go talk to the Scooby’s today!”

Buffy sighed, rolling on to her back next to Spike, staring at the ceiling. “Do we have to?” she asked.

Spike shrugged and rolled onto his side to face her. “Well I don’t really give a toss if I never speak to any of them again, but I thought you wanted to tell them about us.”

“I do.” Buffy admitted. “But I just know they’re gonna over react and make a big deal out of it!”

“So we tell them we’re happy and sod what they think!” He replied. “We know Dawn’s happy about it and she’s the only one who matters other than us!”

“I guess you’re right.” Buffy sighed “But do we have to go right now?”

Spike grinned devilishly. “Well,” he purred, “I can think of better things to do first!” Without another word Spike began placing gentle kisses on the golden skin left uncovered by the sheet bunched at Buffy’s waist. She writhed beneath him as he teased her with his lips teeth and tongue, tasting her everywhere but where she most desperately craved him.

“Please Spike!” She begged him as his tongue danced around, but never touched one of her rosy nipples. Spike chuckled against her soft flesh, the vibrations sending a delightful thrills trait to her sex. Buffy’s mewls finally convinced him to give in however as he took the bud between his lips, teasing it with his blunt teeth causing Buffy to moan. Spike propped himself up on one arm, never stopping his ministrations. His other hand began a slow path, palming her other breast, then trailing down across her belly before it slipped under the sheet. Buffy willingly parted her legs to allow Spike passage. She bucked against his hand as he slid one finger into her hot, wet, channel, while his thumb manipulated her clit with perfect technique.

It wasn’t long before Buffy was screaming his name in ecstasy, and it would be several hours and many orgasms later that the pair would be able to pull them out of bed…

“Xander are you quite certain of this?” Giles asked for the tenth time.

“Yes Giles I’m certain!” Xander replied, exasperated. Xander, Giles, Willow, Tara and Anya had gathered in Buffy’s living room once Xander had passed on Riley’s news. Giles seemed reluctant to believe what he was hearing, until he considered her dalliance with the vampire before her death. He was however in agreement with Xander that Spike must be taking advantage of her confused state since her return - time in a hell dimension must be damaging to anyone. Willow was blaming herself, saying that she should have been there for Buffy more - maybe then she wouldn’t have felt the need to turn to Spike for comfort. Xander didn’t care what her reasons were - he just wanted it to stop!

“I say we go over there and stake him now!” Xander exclaimed, tired of pussyfooting around. “Whatever he’s done to Buffy is sure to wear off once he’d dead…well, more dead…right?”

“It’s not that simple Xander.” Willow explained “If Buffy thinks she has genuine feelings for Spike then it might be worse for her if we kill him. She might even try to protect him!”

“Willow’s right.” Commented Giles. “I think the best course of action is…something of an intervention perhaps.”

“You mean let her know that we’re all here for her and love her and he doesn’t need to do this?” Tara asked.

“Yes, that sounds about right.” Giles sighed, taking off his glasses to wipe them once more.

“But we’ve been doing that ever since she came back!” Xander pointed out. “We’ve all been here for her, she’s the one who tried to avoid us.”

“Exactly.” Replied Giles. “If we get Buffy on her own and…force her to listen to us, it might have more of an effect.”

“How exactly do you propose we force a slayer to listen to us Giles?” Anya asked.

“I know a spell.” Willow commented. “It’s kind of a containment spell. It wouldn’t hurt her at all, just keep her in place until she’d heard what we had to say.”

Giles nodded. “It sounds reasonable enough.”

“But what about spike?” Questioned Anya - ever the voice of reason. “You really think he’s going to let Buffy out of his sight so we can get her alone? They’ve got to know that Riley would have told us what he saw and that we’d try and undo whatever he did!”

“Ooh!” squealed willow “I have an idea!”…

The sun had not been set long when Buffy and Spike made their way towards the slayers house in comfortable silence. Spike had one arm wrapped around Buffy’s waist and she rested her head against his shoulder. They fit together perfectly, each comfortable in the embrace of the other. “You know what I’m looking forward to?” Buffy asked, breaking the quiet.

“What’s that ducks?” Spike asked.

“Being able to do this whenever we want.” She breathed “Just being together without worrying who can see us.”

“That would be nice.” Spike commented, though his voice was uncertain. “You do know the Scooby’s are likely to take this as well as last time don’t you?”

“I know.” Buffy replied, her own voice calm. “But I thought you didn’t care what they thought.”

“I don’t!” Spike insisted. “But I know they mean a lot to you.” He didn’t voice his insecurities, but Buffy knew they were there. She pulled away from him slightly, turning towards him and taking his face in her hands, looking him dead in the eye so he would see the honesty of her words.

“You mean more!”…

“They’re coming!” Giles announced to the assembled group. “Is everything ready.”

“Yep!” Xander replied triumphantly “Dawn’s at a friends for the night.”

“The spells are all in place.” Willow piped up.

Giles lifted the tranquilliser gun they had used on Oz. “I guess this is it then. Now you all know what to do?” there was a collective round of nods and they all headed into the hall to await the slayer and her vampire…

Spike and Buffy shared a kiss on her porch before they entered the house. “Ready?” Spike asked, as they broke apart.

“As I’ll ever be!” Buffy replied with a sigh. “Love you.”

Spike smiled. “Love you too pet.”

With a final chaste kiss on his lips Buffy turned to open her front door…then all hell broke loose…

Chapter 27: Ambush

The second the door was opened Buffy felt herself being pulled into the hall out of Spike’s grasp. Buffy wrenched herself out of Xander’s reach and turned just in time to see Spike bouncing off the newly reinstated barrier. He was in game face and growling as Giles aimed a tranquilliser gun at his chest while staying well out of the furious vampires reach.

“Buffy!” he roared, “Invite me in!”

“Come in Spike.” Buffy replied smugly, thinking she had found a hole in the Scooby’s plan. Spike however, was still running up against the barrier. Confused, Buffy looked around, wondering what the hell was going on. Xander was behind her, still trying to get a hold on her, Giles was steadfastly not looking at her but keeping the gun aimed at Spike who was still growling and banging on the invisible barrier keeping him out of the house. Willow and Tara sat on the dining table chanting. Anya was hovering behind Xander looking uncomfortable. Breaking away from Xander Buffy made a run for the door only to come up against a barrier herself - It didn’t take her long to realise they were doing some kind of spell to keep her and Spike apart.

Buffy felt the tears beginning to well in her eyes as she held her hand up against the barrier, Spike mirroring her actions from his side. She felt an ache in her heart when the microscopically thin barrier prevented their hands from actually touching. It hurt to be so near him yet unable to feel his cool skin. Why were her friends doing this to her?

“Buffy please don’t cry.” Spike pleaded, though he was close to crying his own tears of frustration. “I’ll think of something!”

“I suggest you leave Spike.” Giles announced in his most ripper like tones. “Otherwise we wont hesitate to make you!”

Spike turned to Giles. “I’m not going anywhere you wanker, not without her!” he growled threateningly. “You can’t do anything to me now I’m chipless anyway.”

Giles didn’t bother to respond, he simply fired the gun, sending a dart into Spike’s chest. Spike looked down at the dart in surprise - didn’t the watcher know that these things didn’t work on vamps? At first he looked up at Giles, intending to mock him for his folly…but his vision began to blur and he felt dizzy. As if from a distance he heard Giles’s muffled voice telling him it was a special tranquilliser recipe cooked up just for him. Spike tried to fix his attention on Buffy who was crying his name. He wanted to tell her it was ok and not to worry, that he would be fine, but he didn’t seem able to form words. He only realised he had fallen to his knees when he felt a jolt through his legs. *I love you Buffy* was his last coherent thought before he succumbed to blackness…

Buffy wondered who was screaming at first, but soon she realised it was her own voice she was hearing. “Please” she sobbed, though she wasn’t entirely sure for what she was begging. For Spike to be ok, for her friends to let her go, for the world to open and swallow her, delivering her from this hell. It could have been any or all of them. She was only vaguely aware of someone wrapping his or her arms around her and pulling her up from the floor. When had she fallen down? She didn’t look to see where Tara and Anya were taking her, she kept her eyes fixed on the open doorway where Giles and Xander were lifting the unconscious Spike and manhandling him into the backseat of Giles’s car. She was sobbing as they bound her hands behind her back, too lost in her pain to try and break free. Why were they doing this to her? Why were they talking her away from the one person who made her life worthwhile?

She didn’t take her eyes off the door when Willow closed it, or even when she heard Giles driving away. Xander hadn’t come back in so she assumed they had both taken spike somewhere. She only looked at Willow when the girl kneeled in front of her, blocking her line of sight, a kind smile on her face.

“Hey.” Willow said softly. “How are you feeling?”

“Like the people who are supposed to be my friends just shot my boyfriend and trapped me in my house.” Buffy replied, her voice flat. “How about you?”

Willow fiddled with the hem of her shirt nervously. “I…I’m…I mean we, all of us are just worried about you Buffy.” She tried to explain. “You’ve not been acting like yourself since…you got back and well, we figured if we got you away from Spike we’d be able to break whatever hold he has on you.”

“He doesn’t have any hold over me.” Buffy insisted, “I love him!”

“Buffy…” Willow tried to interrupt but Buffy spoke over her.

“Why couldn’t I get out of the house?” She asked, angry at her ‘friends’ presumptions. “And why didn’t it work when I tried to invite Spike in? What did you do to me?” She was screaming by the time she finished and willow was wincing, sure her eardrum was about to burst.

“It’s just a little spell.” Tara tried to explain calmly, staying well behind Buffy so she didn’t have to meet the accusation in her eyes. “We just altered the disinvite spell so you wouldn’t be able to invite vampires into the house, and just a tiny barrier spell to keep you in.”

“So I’m a prisoner in my own home?” Buffy Spat. “How comforting!”

“No, no. Nothing like that.” Willow insisted, “You just need someone inside the house to invite you to go outside is all. As soon as we undo whatever Spike has done you’ll be free to go!”

“How many times do I have to tell you?” Buffy screamed “He’s done nothing to me! The only one’s hurting me here are you!”

“We’re only doing this because we care Buffy.” Willow soothed. “It’s hard for you to see right now, but Spike’s using your terrible experiences since you died to manipulate you - you don’t even realise he’s doing it.” Willow was shocked by Buffy’s bitter laughter.

“You don’t get it do you?” Buffy said through her laughter “You weren’t saviours pulling me out of some hell dimension. I was happy!”

“What are you saying?” Anya spoke for the first time, confused.

“I was happy.” Buffy repeated, a far away expression forming on her features. “I was in heaven, and you ripped me out of there. I was happy before I died as well you know…with Spike…it’s always been Spike.”

Willow was in tears, Tara and Anya not far behind. But Buffy wasn’t really talking to them anymore, nor was she talking to Xander and Giles who had just come back and were standing in the doorway, looking around confused. She was talking now for all the weeks, months, years even that she had had to stay quiet. She was talking for herself and for Spike. She was telling them the whole story for the first time.

“You know he was the one who helped me beat Angelus and Dru?” she began. “Dru died that night. None of you knew that did you? No because you never bothered to ask. Losing her destroyed him as much as loosing Angel destroyed me! But we pulled each other through. I could talk to him when I knew all I’d get from my ‘friends’ was good riddance to dead boy! Yeah he got me drunk a lot too while we were in LA, but that’s spike, it’s what he does! He talked me into coming back even though he knew he’d be alone again. He hates being alone more than anything else yet he went through it for me, because I was needed here. Of course he came back as soon as I needed him…just in time for Christmas. I should have guessed then really, what he meant to me I mean. We got each other exactly the same present. That ring of mine you like so much Willow, the one I never take off. He gave me that! None of you ever noticed he wears one just like it. I got it for him.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Willow asked through her tears.

Buffy looked at her, remembering her audience. “And get a response like this one? Yeah! Now why didn’t I think of that? Spike and I were friends for years and none of you noticed. He was just dead boy or that annoying vampire. It didn’t matter how many times he saved any of you. He was just an evil vampire who didn’t deserve acceptance! Even when Glory tortured him, even when you worked beside him all summer the first thing you do when I get back is try and keep me away from the best friend I ever had!”

“He’s a vampire Buff!” Xander cried. “An evil, soulless thing! All this friends crap is probably just part of some elaborate plot to bag his third slayer!”

“God Xander!” Buffy groaned. “How stupid can you be? You know how impatient Spike is! Do you really think he’d take five years to put a plan into action? He’s had plenty of opportunities to kill me and he hasn’t taken a single one. He loves me!”

“He can’t love!” Xander insisted, and Buffy rolled her eyes. This was going to be a long night…

As Spike came around his head was throbbing. It took him a few seconds to adjust to his surroundings. When he did he noticed several things:

Spike vamped out to extend his senses, ignoring the pain the more sensitive hearing cause in his already aching head. There was definitely someone in the room with him, and it was someone he recognised. Unfortunately his brain was still too foggy to remember who it was right now.

“Who’s there?” He asked at last, frustrated by his inability to see who it was.

“Shhh.” Came the whispered reply. “I’m getting you out of here!”

Chapter 28: Escaping

Spike’s eyes widened as he recognised the voice behind him. “Nibblet? That you?” he asked, surprised. What the hell was she doing here?

“Yes!” She whispered, but he could tell she was exasperated. “Now shut up in case someone hears you.”

Spike chuckled. “There’s no one else around bit, just you and me.” He told her.

“How do you know?” Dawn asked as she worked on the ropes binding Spike’s hands behind his back, though she obviously believed him since she was no longer whispering.

“Vampire luv.” Spike reminded her. “Can’t hear or smell anyone else.”

Eventually Dawn managed to untie Spike’s hands and he undid the rest of the ropes himself. He really hated being tied up! Once he was free he looked over at Dawn who was sitting opposite him, a self-satisfied smirk on her face - she had definitely been spending too much time around him recently! A large part of Spike was screaming to get back to Buffy, but the small logical part of his brain knew it would do no good since he couldn’t get into the house. He knew he’d figure out how to get to Buffy soon, but it looked like he was going to need the help of the smug fifteen year old who was now studying him intently.

“Not that I’m complaining,” Spike began “but how did you know to look for me here? Actually how did you know I needed help at all?”

Dawn rolled her eyes. “God you all think I’m so stupid!”

“I didn’t say that Dawn.” Spike protested. “I just want to know how you knew when I’m still not clear what’s going on!”

“I knew there was something going on as soon as Willow told me she’d arranged for me to spend the night at Janice’s.” She told him proudly. “Buffy always gives me the third degree if I wanna stay out so there was no way she’d just arrange for me to spend the night somewhere else no matter how guilty she was feeling!”

“That still doesn’t explain how you knew I was here.” Spike pushed, but Dawn was having none of it. She never got the chance to be the one who saved the day so she was making the most of it!

“Jeez, impatient much! I’m getting there!” She huffed. “Anyway, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, I pretended I was going to Janice’s but instead I doubled back and listened in from the back door. I saw Giles and Xander bundle you into a car but they were back too quickly to have gone all the way to Xander’s, plus he would never invite you in, even tied up so I figured they’d bought you here. I waited till I’d heard everything useful then came here to get you so you can rescue Buffy!”

Dawn smiled then, extremely proud of herself, and Spike had to admit the girl had done well. He did mentally shake his head at the thought that he had to rescue Buffy from her friends, and there was the tiny problem of the barrier spells around the house. When he explained his concerns to Dawn however, the girl’s grin only grew wider.

“No problem!” She announced cheerfully. “They only made it so Buffy can’t invite you in. It’s my house too, so there’s no reason I can’t. They don’t expect me to be involved after all, I don’t think they even know that I knew anything about you two!”

Spike shook his head at Scooby’s oversight. They really were oblivious to everything going on around them if they hadn’t noticed how close he was to Dawn. Who was the one who looked after her all over the summer? Who was the one she always ran to when she didn’t feel like being at home? If anyone were going to know something of course it would be Dawn! Spike did however find one little flaw in her plan. “What about the barrier keeping big sis in the house? S’all well and good me getting in but we need her to be able to get out as well.”

Dawn however had an answer for everything. “Not a problem.” She insisted. “It needs someone who was inside the house when the spell was cast to invite Buffy outside. I was inside the house, they just didn’t know it!”

Spike smiled at the girl in front of him and wondered how they had managed to underestimate her time and time again. He silently swore never to make that mistake again. “Well bit,” he announced, climbing to his feet “since you have everything organized lets get going!”…

Buffy felt as is her head was going to explode. She’d tried for hours to explain to her friends that she wasn’t being controlled by Spike; that this hadn’t been a sudden thing but something they’d been building up to for years, but they wouldn’t believe a word of it. Xander wouldn’t even believe she had actually been in heaven. She was beginning to believe that Spike had a point when he’d told her that the Scooby’s were in denial about things they didn’t want to face up to. She found it ironic really. They had quite easily accepted that there were such things as demons and slayers and vampires. They’d done the impossible and brought her back from the dead. But they just couldn’t accept that any feelings between her and the vampire who had saved their lives countless times could be anything other than a fabrication. No matter how many details she had told them about their time as friends before they became lovers they wouldn’t be swayed.

Eventually she had needed to get away from them all before she beat every last one of them to a bloody pulp. She’d managed to convince willow and Tara to expand the barrier spell so she could go out on the back porch. She had every intention of staying out there and not coming back in until they either let her go or she figured a way out of this mess for herself. One by one they had become tired of trying to convince her that they were right and had decided to leave her be until the next day, assuming that she would come inside in her own time. They had all gone to bed, Xander, Anya and Giles all deciding it would be best for them to stay over, apparently not thinking spike worthy of guarding. Buffy guessed they didn’t care if he escaped as long as they had her where they wanted her. Xander had commented that even if Spike did escape he would probably just skip town now that they were on to his little scheme! God they didn’t know him at all!

So there she sat, on the back porch, sporadically reaching out to touch the barrier on the off chance that it might have stopped working while Willow and Tara were asleep. Since she had had no luck on her previous attempts she was stunned to find the barrier gone when she reached out to it the millionth time. It took a few seconds for her brain to take advantage of this fact, but fortunately she was aware enough not to start screaming and jumping for joy as she felt like doing in case she woke the sleeping Scooby’s. What she did do however was run into the open arms of the blonde vampire now walking across the yard towards her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder, tears of joy springing from her eyes.

“Oh God Spike.” She sobbed, “I missed you so much.”

“Calm down Buffy. It’s only been a few hours!” he said lightly, but Buffy could tell it was a front. He had been as affected by their separation as she had, especially if the kiss she was suddenly pulled into was any indication. As their mouths met and tongues danced, hands touched and stroked, each reassuring the other that they were fine and they were together again. Buffy jumped up, wrapping her legs around his waist and rubbed her hips against him, his growing hardness pressed against her sending excited chills through her body despite the layers of clothes that separated them. The heated growl that came form him only spurring her on more as she ran one hand down his chest to cup his length through his jeans. Spike’s hand was just about to sneak its way under the hem of her panties when the pointed coughing from their left caused them to break apart suddenly.

“Hello!” Dawn said in irritation “Minor present! I’d rather wait a few years before my mind got warped thank you very much!” Buffy took a step back from Spike and looked at the floor, her face turning crimson. Spike however simply smirked, having no problems with warping young minds.

“Come on bit!” he chuckled. “You didn’t want to see the show you shouldn’t have untied me!” He laughed when Dawn rolled her eyes and Buffy smacked him in the chest. Nothing was going to ruin his good mood!

“Well not to be the rain on the parade, “ Dawn continued as if Spike hadn’t spoken “but what are you two going to do now?”

Buffy and Spike’s eyes met, silent understanding passing between them. The Scooby’s weren’t going to accept them anytime soon. As soon as they realised that Buffy could come and go as she pleased again they would just put the barrier back, they’d probably even try and kill Spike this time and not overlook Dawn. There was no way they could go back to hiding. It had been too painful for both of them to go through again. And just being apart wasn’t an option. They had to be together. It was a sad and simple truth, if they wanted to be together they had to leave Sunnydale behind.

Chapter 29: Half way to anywhere

“Buffy?” Willow called as she wandered down the stairs of the Summers home. “Buffy are you here?”

*That’s odd* thought Willow, she was sure she’d heard Buffy come in from the back porch at some time during the night. If she weren’t here why would the CD player still be running? Buffy was always saying money was too tight to leave appliances running unnecessarily. With a puzzled frown firmly in place Willow headed into the lounge just as the song coming gently out of the speakers began to repeat. Willow turned the volume up so she could make out the words. This didn’t sound like the kind of thing Buffy normally listened to…

As the song continued to play its semi-mournful tune, Willow felt warm tears spill down her cheeks. *Oh Goddess No!* she thought as the words seeped into her mind. She wondered how Giles and Xander had missed this on their way out of the house to check on Spike first thing that morning. They must have just assumed that Buffy hadn’t come inside.

We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the morning light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name

Willow knew she needn’t mumble the few Latin words under her breath as she was doing. She knew there was no one around to hear - Xander and Giles were probably still at Giles’s trying to figure out where Spike went, just like she knew without doing the spell exactly what had happened a few hours ago. Yet she couldn’t take her eyes off the ghostly figures that wandered hurriedly around the room in front of her now, mere replays of actions that had already taken place…

Hand in hand, Buffy and Spike entered the house, Dawn skipping ahead of them after calling out an invitation for the vampire. Buffy looked around as they made their way to the lounge, taking note of all the changes that had taken place since she had first moved here six years ago. There were more pictures on the walls along with a lot more dents. There was different furniture…and she could no longer smell her mother’s perfume when she walked into a room. She couldn’t smell it anywhere in the house anymore. Now the house was filled with new scents - Tara, Willow, even a little Spike…but it wasn’t the home it had once been. Now it was just a place where she would lay her head, not even that when she had stayed with Spike. She let out a humourless chuckle at that. She felt more at home in a dark musty crypt than she did in her own house! She felt Spike squeeze her hand gently and turned towards him and saw the understanding smile on his face. He always knew what she was thinking.

“Erm, guys?” Dawn asked quietly, interrupting Buffy’s reverie. “If we’re leaving should we pack some stuff?”

“Only what you can’t stand to leave behind.” Spike replied equally as quietly. “We haven’t got time to pack properly.”

“What about my clothes?” Dawn pouted. Didn’t he know how important the proper wardrobe was to a girl her age?

Spike shook his head. “You can get new clothes bit. Besides there are sleeping Scooby’s all over this house. Do you really think you can get everything without waking them up?”

Dawn conceded his point reluctantly and headed down to the basement to see if any of their clothes were still down there from last time they had done the laundry - probably considering how lazy Buffy was! Once she was out of sight Spike gently pulled Buffy into his arms. “You sure about this luv?” he whispered against her hair. Buffy nodded.

“I don’t want to. I mean all my friends are here, all my memories. ” She sighed sadly. “But what choice do we have? I’m sick of hiding and pretending I’m something I’m not. I want to be somewhere I’m not the slayer, where no one expects anything of me.” She leaned back slightly and looked into his eyes, her own wet with unshed tears. “I’m tired of dreaming about what it would be like to just be with you Spike. I just want to make it real!”

Spike pulled her back against him and placed a gently kiss to the top of her head. “We will baby.” She promised her quietly. “We’ll make it real.”

Spike carefully crept up the stairs, leaving Buffy and Dawn to pack the last of their things - photo’s of their mother, clothes from the basement and so on. They were going to collect his meagre possessions from his crypt of their way out of town. Right now though, he was on a mission. With a preternatural stealth he entered Buffy’s room and saw the whelp and Demon girl asleep in the bed. He looked at them as they slept, her on one side of the bed, him on the other. It struck him as strange at that moment how distant the couple looked while they were asleep. Whenever he and Buffy had shared a bed, if he awoke they always seemed to be holding on to each other. He wondered if it was just a Spike and Buffy thing or whether that was the way it was really meant to be when you loved someone. He stared at them for at least five minutes, trying to puzzle some kind of answer before he remembered he had come in here with a purpose - A plush pink purpose that was staring at him from the shelf above Buffy’s dresser!

“You two ready?” Spike asked as he held the front door open for his two girls. Dawn took one last look around before nodding and heading outside. Buffy however was fiddling with something on the CD player. He had a sudden feeling of déjà vu as he watched her place the CD in the tray but he brushed it aside. “What’s that pet?” he asked as he walked behind her and put his arms around his waist.

“Just a message for the Scooby’s.” She told him, turning the volume right down before setting the machine to repeat the same song. “I just figured I should tell them something y’know?” As Spike listened to the words of the song has had to agree with the slayer. It explained their actions far more eloquently than either of them would have been able to write.

“You still sure Buffy?” Spike asked one last time, wanting her to be certain before they did something she might regret later. The loving kiss he received and Buffy’s taking his hand to lead him outside was his answer…

Watching the scene draw to a close Willow let out a choking sob and sank to the floor as the last words tumbled from the speakers. Numbly, she reached out for the phone lying next to the nearest speaker. Placed there as if her need for it had been anticipated, which it probably had been. Willow didn’t contemplate the thought too deeply however, there were more important things to do. She had to call Xander and Giles since they weren’t back yet. They had to be told. Buffy was gone, and she wasn’t coming back.

Half an hour later, Xander, Giles and Willow sat in the living room of the Summers house. Each of them reacting in different ways. Xander’s response had been to rage and shout, levelling every crime he could think of at Spike’s feet - from corrupting young minds and forcing Dawn into helping him, to actual kidnapping. Willow was once again in tears, blaming herself for not being understanding, for not being a good enough friend and respecting Buffy’s choices. Giles however had been unusually quiet and contemplative.

“Why did she have to leave?” Willow sobbed. “If it meant that much to her I would have tried to understand…I didn’t know…”

“She didn’t leave!” Xander spat, “That monster forced her!”

“But I saw it Xander!” Willow insisted. “She went with him willingly!”

“No!” Xander yelled, standing up. “Buffy would never…”

“That’s enough!” Giles spoke for the first time, quietly but with enough authority for Xander and Willow turn to him in surprise. “Buffy has made her own choices.” He continued. “And I think it is fair to say that had we acted differently this wouldn’t have happened.”

“So what are you saying?” Xander cried, incredulous “We just let them go? We have to go after them!”

“No.” Giles told him firmly. “What we have to do is hope that Buffy finds it in her heart to forgive us and comes back in her own time.”

“And what are we supposed to do if she doesn’t?” Xander continued.

Willow sighed, not lifting her gaze from the CD in her hands, the words still spinning through her head. “We hope that Spike makes her happy.” She whispered sadly, knowing that they had missed their chance to make amends…

“So where are we going then?” Buffy asked from her position resting against Spike as he steered the Desoto along the highway, Dawn sleeping peacefully in the back seat.

“I was thinking we head to LA for a while.” He replied. “Just like old times!”

Buffy chuckled as she remembered their first stay in LA. It had been scary then as well - just relying on each other. They had both been so miserable, so tired of living, yet they had pulled through together. They had done it once and they could do it again.

“Then where?” She asked after a moments thought. “I know you’re not gonna want to stay in ‘Angel’s city’ too long!”

Now it was Spike’s turn to laugh. “Anywhere you want Ducks!” he told her happily. “We’re already half way there!”

THE END

A/N: thanks for reading - I love you all! The songs in this fic were by Michelle Branch, ghost of the Robot, Evanescence, and Limp Bizkit. I hope you enjoyed the story, and feel free to review - you know you want to!