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Chapter 32
It's all a matter of evidence

Spike looked from the corner of his eyes discretely to assess the situation. The conclusion he drew wasn’t good at all. While the headmaster of this little ambush and his lackeys stood in front of him and Gunn, a few more guys surrounded them to keep them from running to safety. Not that he would have--a bloke had his pride--but it still would have been nice to have a back door in case things got too ugly. Affecting his usual nonchalant cockiness, he hooked his thumbs in the waist band of his pants and smirked.

“Anything we can do for you wankers, or is this a social call? Because I gotta tell you, I’m not really the social type.”

The inmate staring him down at the moment--Rick if Spike’s memory was right--just happened to be part of Parker’s regular entourage. The taller man cracked his knuckles in a show of intimidation that was too bloody typical for Spike not to snort in disgust.

“You made a mistake, Rayne. A big fucking mistake.”

Spike opened his mouth in shock, obviously mocking him. Gunn elbowed him in the side as a silent plea to not make the situation even worse for them, but Spike couldn’t help himself. “I did?” He gasped. “Gosh, I didn’t realize. My sincere apology. Not gonna bloody do it again, promise. Now bugger off.” He punctuated his sentence with a smirk.

“Don’t push me, Rayne. In case you haven’t noticed, you’re in deep shit right now. You pissed off a lot of guys when you decided to defend the Warden. We were about to get first class entertainment, but you had to get up and open that big fucking British mouth of yours. I spent the day under the fucking rain, chained to other guys in the middle of nowhere picking up trash from the side of the road thanks to the woman whose ass you saved. The way I see it, it’s all your fault. So tonight, you and your little buddy are the entertainment. You’re going to regret ever being born you fucker.”

“Do you kiss your mum with that mouth, mate?”

Rick opened his mouth to reply, but Spike used the distraction to his advantage and dove head first into the man’s stomach, knocking the wind out of him.

Gunn stood there for a second, as surprised as Rick by Spike’s move. But he recovered quickly enough and grabbed the guy closest to him and head butted him. “Dude! You could have given me some kind of warning!” He yelled indignantly at Spike.

“Sorry mate, thought you could handle yourself.” Spike mocked while kicking Rick in the stomach.

Gunn only groaned in response, too busy defending himself against three guys at once to think of a reply.

Spike usually enjoyed the rush of a good fight, but this time, the odds were against him and he knew it. He could only hope that the guards would interfere quickly and put an end to the fight.

He heard a guard saying something over the speaker and the doors being locked to contain the fight, but no one was trying to stop anything just yet. He didn’t know how long he could last. Most of the guys were just watching and cheering, forming a circle around them, but at least six convicts were attacking and that was too much for him. He saw that something was happening to the side, probably the guards trying to break their way through the crowd, but the moment it took him to notice that was enough of a distraction to make him lose the upper hand in the fight.

He felt his ribs crack under a vicious kick, then someone grabbing his arms from behind to immobilize him. Rick took the opportunity to work on his face, hitting him with a few solid punches. Then it stopped. Spike managed to shake the pain away long enough to see two guards dragging Rick away and a few more taking care of the other guys. He fell on his knees, and tried to catch his breath. Gunn walked up to him, holding his left arm that seemed to be hanging at a strange angle.

“You alright man?”

“Bloody great. Just feels like having been hit by a truck. I’ll live.”

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Buffy almost jumped out of her skin when she heard someone knocking at her door. She was expecting the private investigator who said he was going to stop by at seven o’clock and it made her jumpy all day. 7PM sharp. The guy was right on time.

It was their first face to face meeting even though he’d been working on the Liam/Darla case for a week now. They had agreed over the phone and she’d given him as much information about the two as she could which wasn’t much. Their names, address, and that she needed him to find some evidence of criminal activity and give her a detailed description of their whereabouts. He said that he would go in reconnaissance, to get and idea of who he was dealing with, and then they would meet at her place in a week to discuss the case. Which was today.

Buffy went to open the door. “Mr. Wyndham-Pryce?”

“Yes, but please, call me Wesley. Mr. Wyndham-Pryce makes me feel like my old man and believe me, that’s not a good feeling.”

She smiled at the man and let him in. He was good looking. Tall, dark, with three days beard that gave him a rugged look, and of course, the British accent. Buffy almost chuckled when she realized that she was surrounded by British guys.

**what’s up with that?** She thought, amused by the realization.

She shook her head and told him to follow her to the kitchen.

“We’ll be more comfortable here. I made coffee, would you like some?”

“That’d be fantastic, thank you.”

She poured the already brewed coffee in two cups and put them down on the table.

Wesley looked up at her. “Would it be too much to ask if you have some Irish cream by any chance? I’ve been up for twenty-four hours and I’m in much need of something to keep me awake right now.”

“Sure. I’ll be right back.” She hurried downstairs to get the bottle of Irish cream, mumbling under her breath that it would be about time that she’d stock her kitchen cabinet with liquor instead of having to go to the bar in the basement every time.

Buffy came back in the kitchen to find Wesley sitting at the table, files and pictures spread out in front of him.

“What’s all this?” She asked, taking a seat.

“A big pile of nothing, I’m afraid.” He answered, not showing any emotion as he pushed some pictures across the table so she could look at them.

She took the pictures in her hands to get a closer look and frowned.

“Angel roughing up his wife.” He explained. “His wife returning the favor. I refrained from taking pictures of the savage make up sex. Bad enough I had to see it, I didn’t see the point in immortalizing it for posterity. Then there’s some more pictures of him getting into bar fights. And Angel and Darla walking into a swingers’ club with another woman. Like I said: nothing that can be of any use to us.”

“But…” Buffy started saying hesitantly, her voice tainted with hope. “That was only one week. Maybe if you keep following him..?”

Wesley took a long, slow, sip of his Irish coffee, taking his sweet time to answer. “You’re absolutely right. I wasn’t expecting to find anything incriminating in only one week, although, with some luck it could have happened. What I did was familiarizing myself with the targets. But if we want our work here to be productive, I need you to be completely honest with me, Miss Summers and tell me exactly what is going on so I know what I’m looking for. I’m sure you’ll understand. All I know is that you want me to find something incriminating. That’s rather vague I must say.”

Buffy stared down at her cup of coffee, not sure if she should tell him everything. “What does it change if you know the story behind it or not?”

The man sitting across the table from her put his elbows on the table and rested his chin on his intertwined fingers, looking her straight in the eyes. “It changes everything. What I do here is all about trust. We need to trust each other if we want to be able to work as a team. In order to help you, I need to know every detail. You have to believe that my bread and butter depends on my discretion and I have never divulged information about my clients. My methods have been criticized in the past because I’m not afraid to bend the rules to get what I want, but it also means that if there’s a chance of success, I’ll make it happen. So now… Why don’t you tell me what’s at stake here?”

Buffy took a deep breath. “My career and the freedom of the man I love.”

One of Wesley’s eyebrows perked up at this. “All right. What’s the story, Buffy? I can call you Buffy, right?”

“Of course. Here’s what’s going on. I have reason to believe that one of the men in my prison is innocent of the crime he’s been accused of.”

“And you just happen to be in love with that man, correct?”

Buffy blushed lightly. “Correct. But it doesn’t change anything except that it makes it more personal. I would believe his story even if I didn’t have feelings for him. But I could lose my job over this so that’s why I was reluctant to give you all the details. If someone finds out I‘m involved with an inmate, that‘s it for Warden Buffy.”

“You can trust me, Buffy. I have no interest in making you lose your job. Like I said, my reputation depends on my discretion.” He rubbed his stubbled chin absentmindedly, lost in his thoughts. “And you believe Liam MacAlister and his wife are involved in this? Why don’t you tell me what happened to send this man to prison?”

“The man I’m talking about is William Rayne. He was sent to jail last May for the murder of Drusilla Blackwell. It was ruled to be a passion crime. He was lucky in his bad luck not to be sent to the gas chamber… but that’s beside the point. Angel and Darla set it up so he would get framed for the murder. Angel is the one who actually shot Drusilla while Darla watched. Angel and Darla both testified against William as the only eye witnesses and his hand prints were on the gun. Nothing could have saved him from being sent to jail. Now, I want to prove that he’s innocent and have the real murderers locked up in his place.”

“Sounds tricky. Do you have any idea how you want to go about doing this?”

“Well…” Buffy played nervously with her spoon, trying to hide the trembling of her fingers. “I had only one idea. I went to see a lawyer who works for a big law firm in L.A. Wolfram & Hart. Have you hear of them? They’re supposed to be really good.”

Wesley whistled under his breath. “Best bloody lawyers in town. Probably the best lawyers in United State if I may say so. Not always clean though. They’re renowned for keeping rich criminals out of trouble. But that only proves just how good they are. What did the lawyer say?”

“That she couldn’t help me, but if I could get a confession from the real murderer, it would be the only way to get William out of jail. So I thought… I thought maybe I could get close to Angel and Darla, win their trust and get something out of them. That‘s why I hired you. So I could find out more about them and figure out a way to approach them.”

Wesley nodded slowly, his expression dark and unreadable. When he spoke, his voice was neutral, but a sense of dread washed over her. “It’s not enough.”

Buffy’s head shot up to look at him. “What? But she said…”

“Whatever that lawyer told you, she probably just assumed you knew a bit more than you do about these things. You can’t just go in there wired, then bring whatever you got in front of a judge and expect them to take it as evidence. You need to be sanctioned by court order and prepped by authorities or else it won’t be considered as evidence.”

He saw the blood draining out of her face and quickly added:

“BUT. I can help you with that.”

Buffy let out a breath of relief. “How?” She almost whispered, her voice fearful.

“I have connections. I have a friend who works for the Sunnydale Police Department…”

“No! You can’t bring the police into this!”

“And may I ask why not?”

“Because. They’ll ruin everything. They’ll tell me not to get involved, they’ll bring Angel in for interrogation, he’ll tell them the same bullshit story he told them the first time and they’ll let him go. Then he’ll know someone’s trying to frame him and he’ll pack his stuff and leave Sunnydale with his skanky ho. I can’t let you do that.”

Wesley leaned over the table and put his hand over hers comfortingly. “My friend, Kate Lockley, is well known for overlooking the ‘book’, if you know what I mean. She’s a bit like me and she’s not afraid to bend the rules to get her man. She’s an investigator and if I tell her to reopen the case, she’ll find a way to justify it with her boss. I’ll convince her to stay on the outside and not get anybody else involved while you and I do the work. We’ll also contact your lawyer and ask her to do the paper work to make our evidence legit. How does that sound?”

Buffy finally smiled. “Sounds very good.”

Wesley stood up. “But keep in mind that we’re the one who will be doing the hard work. From what I’ve seen, this guy Angel is a bloody nut case. If you decide to go in, I’ll do everything I can to protect you, but you still might be in danger. Are you willing to take that risk?”

“Absolutely.” Buffy answered with conviction.

“Good. So I’ll make the phone calls. What’s your lawyer’s name?”

“Lilah Morgan. Here… Hold on, I have her card in my purse.”

She went to get the business card, and as she was coming back, there was a knock at the door. Wesley, who was putting on his leather jacket, froze.

Buffy looked at him nervously. “Is it OK if I answer?”

“Of course. I don’t see why not. It doesn’t say PI on my forehead. Besides, I was on my way out.”

She looked through the peep hole to see Giles standing there. She plastered a bright smile on her face and opened the door.

“Hey Giles! What are you doing here?.. Not that I’m not glad to see you or anything. I mean…”

Giles gave her a half smile and without a word, held up a box of Krispy Cream doughnuts.

“And you just said the magic word.” She laughed. “Come in.”

When he saw the man standing by the doorway, Giles frowned. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you had company. Would you rather I’d come back some other time? I should have called first.”

Wesley answered for her. “No, sir, I was just on my way out.” He turned to Buffy and she handed him the card as discretely as she could, hoping Giles wouldn’t ask any questions.

“All right. I’ll call you as soon as I have information. Goodbye Buffy.”

“Bye Wesley… and thank you.”

She shut the door and turned to where Giles was still standing. “Don’t just stand there. Let’s go in the kitchen, I still have some coffee left if you’d like.” He followed her, still carrying the box of doughnuts. He put it down on the kitchen table and took a seat.

“So,” Buffy asked cheerfully. “What brings you here? I hope it’s a social call ‘cause I don’t feel like dealing with prison issues tonight.”

“Buffy, care to tell me what’s going on here?”

She stopped what she was doing and faced him with a puzzled look on her face. “Huh? What do you mean? You’re here to ask me what’s going on? What’s going on with what?”

“I’ll get to why I’m here later. Now, I’m very curious to figure out what I just walked into a few moments ago.”

She turned her back on him to hide her face, busying herself by pouring the left over coffee in two cups. “You mean, Wesley? He’s… An old friend.”

Giles snorted. “I wasn’t born yesterday, Buffy. The unfamiliarity of your body language was quite obvious. This man wasn’t a friend of yours. Pardon me for insisting, but what’s going on? Does it have anything to do with William by any chance?”

Buffy almost dropped the cups on the floor. “What? How… I mean, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He gave her a stern look.

“Fine! Damn I suck at lying. How did you figure it out?”

“Instinct. Do you have some sugar?”

She gave him a blank look before realizing he was talking about his coffee. “Oh. Yes of course.”

Buffy went to get the sugar container and watched as Giles put a few spoonfuls into his coffee.

“Is my coffee that bad? You know what, don’t answer that.” She tried to laugh to lighten up the mood but failed. “So, you’re instincts are that good, huh?”

“Sometimes. But I mostly figured it out because I was expecting you to do something like this. I could not imagine you just sitting back while William is in prison. That man was a private investigator I presume?”

“Right on.”

“Care to tell me what your plans are exactly?”

“So you can tell me how careless and idiotic it is? I’m thinking no.”

“Do you think I’d have a reason to believe that your idea could be careless and idiotic?”

“Careless, no. Not since I have Wesley working with me. He’ll make sure that everything is set up right and that everything is legal so that as soon as I have the proof I need, Spike will be out. But idiotic… You might think it kinda is, yes.”

“Are you going to put yourself in any danger, Buffy? That’s what I’d like to know.”

“It doesn’t matter, Giles. I’m a big girl, I can handle myself.”

“Bloody hell woman, will you tell me what you’re planning on doing so I can scold you properly and have something concrete to worry about?” Giles snapped angrily.

Buffy looked anywhere but at Giles when she told him the story. He listened to her intently, not interrupting, but she could tell he wasn’t taking it too well. “Dear Lord.” He sighed and took his glasses off to polish them with a handkerchief, seemingly lost in thought. The longer the silence lasted, the more nervous Buffy got.

“Say something, Giles.”

“You’re a grown woman, Buffy. There’s not much I can tell you to make you change your mind, is there? But I hope to God that your Spike is worth risking your life for.”

“I won’t be risking my life, Giles. I might be if I was going in by myself with no one to back me up, but Wesley knows what he’s doing. He’s getting the police involved.”

“Glad to know the Police force of Sunnydale is stupid enough to agree to send a young woman alone after a potential murderer. Makes me feel bloody safe to have another proof of how clueless they can be.”

“Please, Giles, I know you don’t agree with this, but I promise I’ll be careful and I won’t take any risk. At the first sign that Angel might suspect something, I’m out of there.”

“Try not to do anything foolish, that’s all I’m asking for.”

“I won’t.”

Giles smiled and pushed the doughnut box towards her. “Would you care for some artery clogging food?”

Buffy automatically wrinkled her nose in distaste. “No thank you. I think I’ll save mine for tomorrow morning. I’m not…”

“Feeling well?” He continued for her, frowning in concern.

“I was about to say hungry. I lost my appetite lately.”

“Yes, and it’s starting to show. You’re face looks thinner and you’re quite pale. Is there anything wrong?”

“Tired I guess. A good night of sleep and I’ll be fine.”

“Buffy, you should be careful. This could be the sign of something more important. You’ve been like this for more than three weeks now. I’ve noticed how you barely touch food. I assumed it must be stress over the William situation, but now I’m wondering if it could be something else entirely.”

“I know you worry about me, but don’t. I’m fine. See?” She took a doughnut and forced herself to take a bite. “Yum! Sugary goodness.”

She swallowed and smiled. Giles only shook his head, worry still obvious in his eyes. Buffy put the doughnut back in the box. Even if she wanted to put on a show for Giles, she still couldn’t force herself to eat it.

“Perhaps it’s none of my business, and I might be completely wrong. But please, humor me. Just go see a doctor. If you’re right and you’re just tired, he’ll tell you, give you some sleeping pills and after a few good nights of sleep, you’ll be back in fighting form. But if there’s something wrong with you, at least you’ll know and you can do something about it. Will you promise me?”

Buffy hesitated, but then gave in. “All right, I’ll go, I promise.”

He gave her a look that clearly meant ‘you better not just be saying this’. “Tomorrow morning?”

“But..”

“Take the morning off. You better not show up at work or I’ll be really disappointed.”

She sighed. “Fine. I’ll go tomorrow morning.”

Giles nodded, obviously satisfied. He decided against telling her that Spike had been in a fight. The girl had enough to worry about. It seemed best to wait until tomorrow afternoon when she got to work.

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Chapter 33
Doctor, doctor, give me the news

Buffy walked back to the office after a nurse came to get her. She stopped in front of the door where a golden plaque said: Dr. Winifred Burkle, and took a deep calming breath. It would take a few days to get the results of the extensive blood test the doctor had put her through, but there was one test Dr. Burkle had insisted she’d take--even if Buffy said it was ridiculous and useless--for which she could get the result right away. Of course, it had probably been a waste of time, but she’d still agreed to wait for half an hour and now, she was back in the office.

Buffy pushed the door open and walked in, suddenly feeling nervous.

**Don’t be ridiculous** she scolded herself. **There is NO way.**

“Come in, Buffy. Have a seat, please.” The pretty brunette told her with a warm smile.

Everything about the woman made you feel warm and safe. She was tiny, with long hair the color of coffee beans and large soft eyes in her small face. Just being in her presence made Buffy relax. By the smile Dr. Burkle had on her face, it could only be good news anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dr. Burkle smiled softly at the woman sitting in front of her, always happy to tell people they were expecting a child, even if some, once in a while, didn’t take it too well. If the tears welling up in the petite blonde’s hazel eyes were any indication, she was one of those.

“No.” Buffy finally said firmly with a quick shake of her head that sent her golden hair flying wildly around her shoulders.

Fred frowned. “What do you mean, no? There is very little doubt that..”

“NO. It’s not possible.” She said with conviction despite the slightly hysterical ton of her voice. “I’m on the pill and I never miss one. NEVER. I take it every morning after brushing my teeth. Same time EVERYDAY. So no. I’m not pregnant.”

She furiously wiped her tears and crossed her arms over her chest like a stubborn little girl.

“All right then. If you’ve decided that you’re not pregnant, then I guess you‘re not. Go home, forget it ever happened, then, in three months, when you get bigger, you can tell yourself that you just got fat. And when there’s something kicking you from the inside, you can always tell yourself that you have gas. Though, it might get harder to live in denial when there’s something coming out of you in about eight months from now.” At Buffy’s huge panicked eyes, Fred softened her voice to try to calm her down. “I’m sorry you’re not taking this well Buffy, but denying it won’t make it go away. You’re pregnant.”

“But… what about the pill. I told you I…”

“Take it every day, I know. And I believe you. But do you remember last time you were in my office? That day when I prescribed you antibiotics?”

Buffy nodded.

“Do you remember me also telling you that the antibiotics and the birth control pill were not mixing well and that you should use a secondary contraception method for the period of time you were on antibiotics?”

“You never said that!”

“I did. And you answered, word for word: ‘I know, I know. Thanks a bunch. Gotta go.’ You took the prescription out of my hands and ran out of the office.”

Buffy’s mouth formed a perfect “oh” as she stared at the doctor. Memory had a funny way to come back to you when it’s too late.

“So, I take it you and your boyfriend didn’t use any protection?”

Buffy shook her head numbly. Spike and she had talked about it. The day after they’d slept together for the first time, they had emailed each other when Buffy realized they hadn’t used protection. She had assured him that she was on the pill, and Spike had told her he was clean and she could check his medical file herself if she wanted to make sure. OK, it was irresponsible. But everything she had done so far had been. So a little less, a little more… besides, she had faith in the pill. Stupid, blind, faith in modern medicine. Oh God. She was pregnant.

Tears came back with a vengeance and she hid her face in her hands, trying to catch her breath while mumbling: “Ohgodohgodohgod”

“Hey, are you OK?”

Buffy shook her head vehemently and Fred went to sit in the chair beside her. The young woman was clearly hyperventilating.

“Take deep breaths, Buffy. I don’t want you passing out on me now.”

Fred put her slim arm around her shoulders, shocked by how badly she was shaking. “Why don’t you tell me what’s so bad about this. Is the father not gonna be happy?” When the only answer she got was a whimper, she continued. “Is it worst than that?”

Buffy nodded weakly, still unable to speak.

The brunette turned Buffy’s shoulders so she would face her. “I’m going to ask you a tough question, Buffy. I need you to be honest with me. Were you raped?”

That snapped Buffy out of her panic attack. Chocked sobs were now mixed with hysterical laughter. It took her a while before finally being able to speak, her voice hoarse from all the crying. “Oh my God! No. It’s not like that at all. I love him. He just… can’t be there.”

“You know I’m sworn to secrecy and you can tell me anything…”

“He’s in prison.” She didn’t know why she said it, but the words came out before she could stop them. And it felt good.

“But don’t you work in… oh.” Dr. Burkle’s eyes widened with realization. “Oh my! That’s not good.”

“Understatement. It’s more like the definition of worst case scenario. And it’s not like he’s coming out in a month or two either. He’ll be in there for a hell of a long time. He’ll miss everything. Pregnancy, birth, first word, first steps, first day of school. It’s going to kill him. And I won’t be able to visit him with the kid either because then, everybody will know and I’ll lose my job.”

Fred took a long shuddering breath. She hated what she was about to say but in this case it would have to be brought up. “There are… other options. I don’t do it myself because I’m against the idea, but I could refer you to someone I know who could terminate the pregnancy. If that’s something you would consider. You‘re still in the early stage so physically, it wouldn‘t be too traumatic.”

With only those few words, everything changed for Buffy. She couldn’t tell what exactly happened, but in a matter of seconds, her misery was replaced by outrage. She turned bright red. “What?!”

“I’m not saying you should, Buffy. But the situation you’re in…”

“Is not of the good, but I can still manage. No need to kill an innocent, thank you very much.”

Dr. Burkle looked down and Buffy realized she’d snapped at the poor woman for no reason. She was just trying to help.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to react like that. I’m just not myself right now. I need to digest the news. I’m lost and I don’t know what to do, but abortion is definitely not an option. The father might be in prison, but I love him and just the idea of killing a child that we created together makes me sick. I freaked out a little. Sorry.”

“It’s all right. I understand you’re a little confused right now and don’t know how to take this. I know it’s not easy to raise a child on your own, but you’re a strong woman and I’m sure you can do this. Things have a way of working out, you’ll see.”

“I know. I’m just tired of life throwing curve balls at me all the time. Tired of being strong and struggling to keep it all together.”

Fred took her hand. “You’ll be fine, I’m sure of it. Besides, I’m sure you have friends and family who can help you.”

“Yeah, as long as they don’t bring me more food.”

Fred raised an eyebrow in question and Buffy smiled slightly.

“I don’t think the baby is too crazy about chicken… and onions. Oh, and fish. God, just the smell of fish makes me wanna hurl. I think there might have been some chicken in the lasagna my mom brought me the other day because I couldn’t even sit next to the table while they were eating it. And I LOVE lasagna.”

Dr. Burkle chuckled, happy to see her patient’s mood was improving.

“This is gonna be a long nine months if I can‘t eat my mom‘s famous lasagna.” Buffy added, pouting.

“It’s just the beginning of the pregnancy. You’ll see, soon, you’ll complain that you can’t stop eating. I guarantee it.”

Buffy only groaned, hiding her face in her hands again.

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“You are very handsome, but very annoying, Spike. Now, will you hold still so I can finish stitching you up? You should be more like your friend Charles. He’s handsome too, and HE listens when I tell him not to move.”

“Sorry nurse Anya. I’ll behave.”

“You better. British men are such wusses.” She muttered under her breath, but loud enough to be heard.

“Oi!” Both Spike and Giles exclaimed in indignation, their British pride hurt.

“Oh and don’t deny it. You so are. The other night, Giles and I were in bed when I…”

“ANYA!”

She turned innocent eyes to Giles who‘s face was flushed.

“Remember what I said about things that are private and should remain private?”

She blinked several times, obviously not seeing his point. “Yes. But this is a fun story that could prove my point so I don’t see why I shouldn’t use it.”

“Yeah, Rups, let the lady tell her story. Sounds interesting enough.” Spike said with a grin, hissing in pain when it hurt the side of his face that was black and blue from the attack.

“Would you just bloody stitch him up so I can take him back already? And how come it wasn’t done last night when he was brought in?”

Annoyed, Anya sighed loudly. “Because I was not on duty last night. I was with you, remember? And Peter, the guy who does the night shift, is an idiot. That’s why.”

“Yeah, the bleedin’ wanker said I didn’t need any soddin’ stitches even though I had blood dripping in my eyes. He just wrapped my noggin up in a bandage and made me sleep on this poor excuse for a bed. I had to beg him to give me Tylenols for the pain. Piss poor excuse for a nurse. Not like you, luv.” He added, winking at Anya.

“Stop flirting, Spike. It’s flattering, but I’m taken now. Rupert gives me plenty of perfectly good orgasms.”

Spike chuckled when he saw Giles closing his eyes as if in pain and rubbing his temples. “Glad to hear it, pet. Nothing like high quality orgasms to make a girl happy.” He said, enjoying making Giles squirm.

Anya gave him a winning smile, glad that someone finally understood her. She finished wrapping the gauze around his forehead and patted him affectionately on the shoulder. “Too bad you’re in jail. You’d make some girl really happy.”

Giles rolled his eyes and took a step forward, eager to put an end to this disturbing conversation. “Let’s go Spike. And just so we’re clear, maybe you should be careful not to get too much on my nerves or maybe I’ll take you straight to your cell. If you get my meaning.”

Indeed, he understood the older British man’s meaning perfectly. With wide innocent blue eyes, he motion as if he was zipping his lips together, then eagerly extended his arms in front of him so Giles could put the handcuffs on. Giles shook his head and sighed in defeat. How Buffy could put up with Spike was beyond him. But then again, someone could ask the same of him and Anya, so who was he to judge?

Spike stood up and followed Giles out of the infirmary and hopefully, straight into Buffy’s arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Chapter 34
More time needed

Buffy sat in her car in the prison’s parking lot for a good half hour, staring straight ahead, her expression blank. She was desperately trying to put some order in her thoughts and make sense of the new situation she found herself in. She knew that when the shock wore off, she’d probably start panicking again, but for now she was just numb. The tough part would be going through the day, smiling, talking, doing her job, as if nothing was wrong. She had yet to find the strength to get out of the car. The idea of seeing people right now was too much for her fragile nerves, but she had to. Beside, Giles must be waiting for her.

Oh God. Giles. She had completely forgotten about him. He was probably waiting to find out if there was something wrong with her or not. How was she going to face him? What was she going to tell him? Lie? Didn’t she mention already that she was terrible at lying? Especially when she was in this kind of emotional state. And telling him the truth was out of the question. She could only imagine the kind of lecture she would be subjected to if she’d tell him she was pregnant with Spike’s baby. Giles was her friend, she had no doubt about that. But there had to be a line she couldn’t cross and this just might be it. How many times could she make stupid decisions and be irresponsible before he got tired of it? She really didn’t want to find out.

And what about Spike? The New Year’s Eve events were still fresh in her mind. How he had flipped out, saying that it was too painful for him when she’d told him what a great life they would have when he got out of jail. Knowing that he was going to be a father and not there to be part of it, that he would have a family out there and couldn’t be with them… it would kill him. How could she do this to him?

Buffy gripped the steering wheel almost painfully, her knuckles white with the effort, and rested her forehead wearily against it. She couldn’t think anymore.

A knock on her car window almost made Buffy jump out of her skin. She looked up, heart racing, only to see the parking attendant standing there. Lowering her window, she forced herself to smile.

“God you scared me, John.”

“Sorry ‘bout that, Ms. Summers. I was just wondering if you were all right. You‘ve been sitting there for a hell of a long time.”

“Yeah, I know. I was just lost in thought. I didn’t realize how long I’ve been here.” She answered, trying her best to sound cheerful. She took the keys out of the ignition and started gathering her purse and briefcase. “I guess I should get to work now.”

“Good. I was just checking. You know.. To make sure you were OK.”

“I know. I appreciate it. Thanks.” She watched the man go back to his booth and got out of her car.

She didn’t feel ready yet, but she had to do it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kate Lockley walked back into her office where Wesley was waiting for her. She had a file in her hands and a scowl on her pretty face. The tall woman took a seat at her desk without looking at the private investigator who was standing in front of it, his hands buried deep in his jeans pockets. The silence dragged on as she perused William Rayne’s case.

“Damn it, Wesley. You want me to reopen a case that was closed nine months ago. It was clean, straightforward… perfect.” She looked at the file that was opened in front of her, her blonde brows drawn together in frustration. “Boy loves girl, girl turns out to be a cheating bitch, boy gets upset and shoots her. End of the story. Now why in the world would I want to go and try to find the flaw in this perfect picture?”

“I’m disappointed in you, Kate. Aren’t you just a tad curious about this? Doesn’t it look a bit too perfect to be true? You know who that case was assigned to and let’s just say Jeremy Cohen isn’t the brightest crayon in the box. The guy is all rules and procedures but never stops to ask himself the real questions. Thinking outside the box is a concept lost on Cohen. He sees something and doesn’t even question it. Anything to save himself trouble. Doesn’t that make you want to find out if he might have missed something?”

The blonde woman ran her fingers through her shoulder length hair. She looked at a loss as to what to think. She’d known Wesley Wyndham-Pryce for years, had collaborated on many cases with him, and one thing she knew was that he was never wrong. The guy was like freakin’ Columbo, only sexier. But this was different. There was absolutely nothing in this case that could raise any doubt. The Rayne case had been open and shut in a matter of two months. Quick, easy and painless. Reopening it would be idiotic. And kind of a bitch to explain to her boss.

Seeing that she wasn’t going to answer, Wesley continued. “I know it makes me want to find out if maybe the other story I’ve heard about what happened that day is true. And I’ve got to tell you, Kate, I’ve been following this Angel around for a week now and it helped me make up my mind. The bloke is such a disgusting individual it’s painful to watch.”

“How sure about this are you, Wes?”

Wesley tried to hide his smile of victory but failed miserably.

“Hey! Wipe that smile of you face, I didn’t agree yet. How. Sure?”

“Pretty damn sure. And you know me, I’m usually right.”

Kate shook her head wearily and mumbled under her breath. “Smug bastard.”

The grin on the private detective’s face grew wider. “You know me.”

“Yeah, and sometimes I can’t help but think that my life would be much simpler if I didn’t.”

“You say that, but you don’t really mean it. Your life would be so incredibly boring in this little hellhole if it weren‘t for me.”

She couldn’t help smiling at that. “I guess it would be. Anyway, who got you involved in this case? No one seemed very interested in defending William Rayne when the case was in court. Why now?”

Wesley took a seat in front of her and waited a beat or two before answering. “My client wishes to remain anonymous. There’s too much laying in the balance for her if her identity is revealed and I’m going to respect her wish.”

By the look on his face, Kate knew it was pointless to insist. He wouldn’t tell her more. “Fine. You said you met Liam MacAllister, but did you meet with the alleged killer, William Rayne?”

“No.” Wesley answered reluctantly. “My client doesn’t think it would be a good idea. She doesn’t want him to know we’re working on his case. She’s afraid that if it doesn’t lead to anything, he’ll get his hopes up for nothing.”

“Understandable. But tell me… What do you want me to do exactly?”

“Trust me implicitly?” He said with a boyish grin.

She huffed. “Right. Like that didn’t get me in trouble in the past.”

“I want you to reopen the case, give me the green light to do as I please and stay out of it.” He said more seriously. “I want to go in wired and get a confession out of that bastard. I‘ll also need you to get a positive identification of Liam MacAllister‘s voice from his interrogation tape. When I come in with the evidence, I don‘t want any doubts that it‘s the same guy.” He omitted to mention that he wouldn’t be the one to approach Angel. It was irrelevant and it would make Kate hesitate about the whole thing.

“Do you have a lawyer working with you on this? Because you’re gonna need one if you want to get Rayne out of jail.”

“Yes, I’ve been in contact with a lawyer at Wolfram & Hart, Lilah Morgan. My client has also had contact with this person before regarding the case and she agreed to help. She‘s preparing the documents and as soon as it‘s done and she can put a good argument together, she‘ll present it to a judge.”

Kate‘s blue eyes widened comically. “Wow. I’m guessing not for free. What are they? The most lucrative law firm in United States? Your ‘client’ is really serious about this, isn’t she?”

“Very.”

“All right, Wes. I’m gonna be really stupid here and trust that you know what the hell you’re getting yourself into. I’ll talk to my boss and try to convince him that it’s not a waste of time to reopen this case.”

Wesley stood up. “Thank you, Kate. I owe you one.”

“Yeah. More like a hundred. I should keep a list of all the favors you owe me. You do realize that if it leads to nothing, I could get my ass fired for this?”

“Like I said, I owe you one.” Wesley winked at her and walked away. “Call me as soon as it’s done.”

Kate watched his retreating back and sighed. She was definitely a sucker for a sexy British man with a devastating smile. But then again, what woman in her right mind wouldn’t be? Picking up the phone, she dialed her boss’s extension and waited for him to answer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Giles walked to Buffy’s office, wondering if she was back yet. Spike was walking in front of him and he made the prisoner sit on a chair by Harmony’s desk. Spike gave him a worried look.

“Hey, why the bleedin’ hell are you making me wait here? With her? I didn’t do anything to deserve this kind of punishment.”

Harmony, who was on the phone, didn’t seem to hear the comment. Giles just gave the blonde man a warning look. “I have to talk with Ms. Summers first. So wait here and don’t move or there’ll be hell to pay. Am I making myself clear?”

“No need to get all scary on me, mate. I know you’re just pissed off by the little conversation with your bird.” Spike smirked in that infuriating way of his.

Giles ignored the comment. “I said am I clear?”

“As clear as soddin’ crystal, mate. Not moving a muscle. But if she starts talking to me,” He tilted his head toward Harmony. “I just might break that promise.”

The guard didn’t dignify this with an answer and just turned to knock on Buffy’s office door. He disappeared inside after she told him to come in, shutting the door behind him.

Right away, he could tell that something was wrong. The young woman wasn’t good at hiding her emotions.

“Hello, Buffy.”

“Hi, Giles.”

There was an awkward pause. Buffy tried to smile to lighten up the heavy atmosphere, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Do you mind if I sit?” Giles finally asked.

“Sure, go ahead.”

“Is everything all right? You don’t seem quite like yourself. Did the doctor say something that upset you?”

“What? Oh. Huh, no. Everything is just fine.” She looked down at the pen she was playing with, mentally slapping herself for sounding so not all right. Giles wasn‘t stupid, he‘d see right through her.

And of course, he did. Frowning with concern, he leaned forward. “Buffy? What did the doctor say? You don’t have some kind of terrible illness, do you?”

“No. Of course not. It’s just like I told you. There’s nothing wrong with me.” Well, that wasn’t a lie. Nothing was technically wrong with her. Pregnancy was a natural thing. So yeah, not lying. “Just stress.” Now that was a lie.

Giles didn’t look like he believed her at all and that made her angry. How come people could see right through her bullshit like that? Was there a ‘Buffy’ handbook that everyone received and that she wasn’t aware of?

“Would you stop looking at me like that?” She snapped at him. “I’m telling you there is nothing wrong with me. I’m fine, OK. I’m just FINE.”

Giles just kept looking at her without a word, worry written plainly on his face. That’s all it took to break through Buffy’s resolve. Unexpectedly, the Warden broke down into tears. Giles got up and went to her side, crouching next to her. Buffy put her arms around his neck and hid her face against his shoulder.

“Why don’t you tell me what’s really going on?”

“I’m pregnant, Giles.” She whispered it so softly that he barely heard her.

“I figured that much.”

Buffy pushed away from him and gave him a watery, disbelieving look. “What?”

“As I’m sure I’ve mentioned before, I wasn’t born yesterday.” He chuckled. “I didn’t want to mention it as a possibility because I knew you would get upset. And also because I felt it wasn’t my business.”

“I just don’t know what to do, Giles. God, all this crying gave me a headache. It feels like all I’ve been doing all day is sobbing like an idiot. Not very productive.”

“But understandable. I’m surprised you’re even here at all actually. Perhaps you should go home and get some rest.”

“What for? So I can stare at a wall and feel sorry for myself? I’m pregnant, not dying. Other women do it all the time so I don’t see why I should whine. And if I want to be honest with myself, I can admit that it’s all my damn fault for acting like an idiot. I should have been more careful.”

Giles sat on the floor, his back against the desk, his shoulder slumped as if under a heavy burden. “I presume you could have been more careful, but what is done is done. It’s nonsense to beat yourself up over this. It won’t accomplish anything productive.”

“I know, but I can’t help it. All I can think of turn out to be a bunch of ‘what ifs’. It won’t change anything, but I have a hard time being logical right now. Spike will be devastated.”

“You don’t know that.”

Buffy snickered. “Don’t I? Isn’t he missing out on enough already? He’s stuck in here while the world keeps going on without him, he has a girlfriend that he can only see for a few stolen moments here and there, and now, he’ll have to find out that he’ll be a father and won’t be able to be part of his child’s life. And you don’t think he’ll be devastated?”

“All right, you have a good point. It won’t be easy for him. But you’re going through a hard time too and you need his support.”

She hugged herself, panic obvious in her eyes. “I can’t tell him just yet. Please, Giles, I know you won’t agree with my decision, but I can’t do it. I need time. I’m asking you not to make me tell him before I’m ready. I need to come to term with the news myself before I can face him.”

Giles stood up. “Of course. It’s your decision and I respect it. But I wouldn’t wait too long if I were you. The longer you wait, the harder it will be.”

“I know.”

“Speaking of the devil, he’s waiting outside and I’m a little worried about leaving him in Harmony’s company for too long. If you’re too upset to see him right now, I can bring him back to his cell.”

“No. I want to see him. Why did you bring him in?”

“He got into a bit of a fight last night and since he was at the infirmary, I figured it would be a good excuse to bring him here without raising suspicion.”

“He got into a fight?” Surprisingly, it felt good to Buffy to worry about Spike instead of worrying about herself and her not so distant future as a single mom. It gave her brain something else to think about and she welcomed the distraction. “How is he? He didn’t get too badly injured, did he?”

“No, he’s fine. Just a few stitches, cracked ribs and bruises.”

“And you call that fine?!”

“I know it sounds bad, but believe me… the way he was enjoying mocking me earlier, I’d say he’s fine.”

Buffy sighed. She didn’t think her nerves could take much more of this. “OK. Bring him in before Harmony drives him to jump out the window.”

Giles squeezed Buffy’s shoulder in a show a support. “You’ll see, you’ll be fine. Sometimes, things have a surprising way of working out.”

“I hope you’re right because I’m starting to have doubts.”

He turned to leave the office just as a loud “RUPERT!“ was heard from the other side of the door. Giles rolled his eyes and walked out of the office to go rescue Spike from Harmony, leaving Buffy alone with her thoughts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Chapter 35
Men have the worst timing

“So Courtney said to him: ‘You know what? I don’t need you. I’m a strong, smart and beautiful woman, and I can be on my own and still be successful and happy. You’re just dragging me down anyway.’ I was like, you go girl! Carlos was such a bastard and she’s better off without him. Us girls don’t need a boyfriend to define who we are. I mean look at me. I’m Harmony Kendall, I can have any man I want, but I won’t lower myself to go out with some loser just to say that I have a boyfriend. I’m my own woman and I’m doing perfectly fine as a career oriented single girl. I’ll meet my soul mate someday though, I just know it.”

“RUPERT!!!!!!” Spike yelled, a look of panic in his blue eyes.

Harmony looked up briefly from the nails she was busy painting with bright candy pink nail polish. “So anyway, I know that when I meet him, I’ll know it right away. It’s too bad you’re in jail, Spikey. I’m sure you and I would get along. We’d be like, so perfect for each other. Life sucks, don‘t you think? So anyway, Courtney‘s brother has been crazy about me since we were kids. Who can blame him? I was really popular in High School, not that I‘m not popular now, but I was even Prom Queen, did I mention that already?”

“Only ten BLOODY TIMES!!” Spike snapped at the woman, looking desperately at the office door as if it was the key to his salvation.

“Oh, I did? Anyway, her brother is such a loser. As if I would ever date a guy like that. I’m sure he spends all his days chatting on the internet with guys who pretend to be girls. How pathetic is that? He’s not like you. I bet you had girls chasing after you all the time before you came here, right Spikey?”

Just at that moment, Spike’s savior came out of Buffy’s office.

“Thank the bloody gods!” Spike muttered, eagerly standing up to escape his torturer. Before entering the office, he turned to Harmony.

“Oh, before I forget, pet, there’s one thing you don’t know about me.”

“What is it, Blondie Bear?”

“I’m gay.”

He chuckled happily at the crestfallen look on the woman’s face. She looked like a fish out of the water, her mouth hanging open comically. Giles rolled his eyes, holding the door open for him. He followed the prisoner inside.

Spike smiled at Buffy who hastily put away the make-up compact she had used to check for visible signs that she’d been crying. He looked at Giles who was busy unlocking his handcuffs.

“Thanks for leaving me alone with that stupid bint for almost half an hour you wanker! I think my ears are bleeding.”

“Do shut up, Spike.” Giles mumbled under his breath, his tone devoid of any humor.

The guard put the key chain back in his pocket and left without another word.

“What the bleedin’ hell is wrong with good ol’ Rups? He seemed in a good enough mood earlier. Did you scold him for shagging a coworker on the job?” Spike asked playfully while walking toward Buffy. “Because that would be bloody unfair of you, pet, considering what you’ve been up to with yours truly.”

That made Buffy smile a bit. For a second, she almost forgot her problems. Just being in Spike’s presence made her feel like everything would be all right. Maybe she could even tell him, and it wouldn‘t be so bad. Then, she noticed. The bruises on his face and the white dressing stuck to the side of his head. She stood up to go to him, a worried frown on her face.

“God, Spike, what happened?” She reached up to touch his face softly, her eyes clouded with concern for the man she loved.

“Nothing for you to worry about, Goldilocks. Just a scratch.”

“Just a scratch?! Are you kidding me? You look like you’ve been hit by a truck!”

“Got into a bit of a scrap last night. But I’m fine.”

“I thought your only nemesis was Parker. And he’s in isolation. Who did this?”

“Turns out the wanker has friends.”

Buffy took his hand and led him to the couch. Spike sat down and pulled her onto his lap. He tried not to hiss in pain when his ribs protested. No reason to worry her more than she already was.

“So that’s all because of me, then?” She asked softly.

“’course not. Things like that happen all the time here. You know that.”

“Don’t lie, Spike. We both know you were attacked by these guys because you protected me the other day. Actually, I’m surprised it didn’t happen before.”

“Probably because their Nancy Boy of a leader wasn’t around to tell the wankers what to do. These guys are meatheads who can’t think for themselves.”

“Meatheads that did a pretty good number on you.”

“They got lucky. Won’t happen twice.”

Buffy put her arms around him and hid her face against his neck. “Next time some idiot decides to jump on me, promise you won’t play hero and you’ll let the guards do what they’re being paid to do.”

“Sorry, luv. I can’t promise you that.”

She pushed herself from him to look in his eyes. “Spike!”

“What? You think I’ll just stand there and do nothing while some wanker is trying to hurt my girl? I don’t bloody well think so!”

“Damn it, William, stop being a stubborn ass! I know you think you have to be my hero and save me from the evil of this world, but try to remember that I knew what I was getting myself into when I chose this career. I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself. Beside, I care more about your safety than my own. You’re the one who has to deal with these guys every day, not me. Just thinking that you’re all alone in such a dangerous place…” She cupped his face in both her hands, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Please promise me you’ll be more careful. I worry about you all the time.”

Spike nodded. “All right, pet. I promise I’ll be more careful. Stop worrying about me. Nothing will happen to me. He captured her lips in a searing kiss, leaving her breathless. “I’m sorry things turned out the way they did. It’s just--I love you so much I couldn’t stand the idea of this idiot putting his hands on you. I know it was stupid but I wasn‘t thinking straight at the time. I promise to try being smarter in the future.” He added, smiling lovingly at her before kissing her lightly.

“You better.” She said, her own smile matching his.

Spike slipped his hands underneath her loose skirt to caress the soft skin of her ass and Buffy moaned against his lips.

“Awfully convenient skirt you got there, pet.” He said, looking down at the wrap around baby blue skirt she was wearing.

She could tell he had a naughty idea just by the way his blue eyes lit up and his tongue poked out to lick his lips.

“You know… I’ve been through a very traumatic ordeal last night. Don’t you think the English patient deserves a little sweetness?”

She frowned in confusion, but quickly got his meaning when he turned them around and pushed her on her back.

“Spike, you’re hurt. Don’t you think I’m the one who should be doing all the work?”

He shook his head and playfully licked his lips. “No way. I’ve been a good boy, didn’t yell at the nurse… much. I think I rightly deserve a sweet treat.”

He placed a soft kiss on the curve of her breast that was peeking out of the deep v-neck of her shirt. “I missed you Buffy.”

She closed her eyes and relaxed, just enjoying being in his presence. “I missed you too, baby. It’s been so long.”

“Too long.”

He lifted her shirt to place a kiss on her stomach, not really noticing when Buffy tensed. She tried to will herself not to think about it, but him nuzzling her belly like this only served to remind her that there was a baby growing in there. A baby that Spike made with her. At that moment, she made her decision. She would tell him. But after. Why ruin the moment when he was promising her such incredible pleasure? That would be stupid.

Buffy allowed herself to relax under his touch. She marveled for a moment at how well he seemed to know her body despite the limited amount of time they had spent discovering each other. They were always rushed, or worried about getting caught. But Spike was the kind of lover who paid attention to the woman he was with and committed to memory every single pleasurable spot on her body and exactly how to touch it to made her moan and beg.

He lifted her skirt to her hips and pulled down her panties before attacking her already quivering pussy with his talented tongue, showing her no mercy. He parted her slick, swollen folds with his fingers and licked her slowly from bottom to top, stopping only to give her erect clit a gentle suck. Spike smiled when he hear her tortured whimper, and repeated his action again and again until she was bucking her hips and shivering uncontrollably.

“You taste so sweet, kitten. Never had anything better.”

He kept his eyes trained on her face, afraid to miss any expression of pleasure on her gorgeous features, and slipped a finger inside her tight channel. Buffy’s knees were digging painfully against his already bruised ribs, but he couldn’t bring himself to care about the pain. The pure intimacy of what he was doing to her was overwhelming enough to make him forget about himself. There would be enough lonely moments later on to focus on his own physical discomfort, but right now, it was inconsequential. All that mattered was the beautiful woman laying on the couch in front of him, and the pleasure he was giving her. It made him feel like HE mattered. Like he had a place in this world other than his prison cell.

“Spike, please… I need…”

He kissed her inner thigh and purred against her warm skin. “What do you need, Buffy. I’ll give you anything you want, anything you ask for. Just tell me.”

“I need your lips, and your tongue, and.. Oh please, make me come. I need to come.”

Spike obliged her, giving her sex an open mouthed kiss. She lifted her hips off the couch to increase the pressure, rubbing her wet pussy against his lips and chin in her mindless search for release. Spike thrust his tongue inside as deep as it would go, twisting it around to increase her pleasure. His reward for his trouble was a series of soft mewls and gasps. Buffy was panting, trying to catch her breath and he could tell she wouldn’t need much to be pushed over the edge.

“Let it go, pet. Come for me. I want you to come in my mouth. Relax and let it all go… Do it for me.”

He pushed his nose against her sensitive clit and quickly moved his head from side to side to stimulate the tight bundle of nerves.

Buffy’s orgasm hit her like a freight train and she had to bite her own hand to stop herself from screaming in release. She felt like the fire that had been building up in her lower belly finally exploded and spread to the rest of her body, igniting every nerve ending. She couldn’t think, couldn’t breath. Beyond conscious thought, she wrapped her legs around Spike’s head to hold him in place while she rode the last waves of her orgasm. Spike’s groan brought her back to reality.

“Oh God, baby…” She said in a breathless voice, sitting up to look at him. “I’m so sorry! I forgot about your head.

Now free of the vice like hold her thighs had on him, Spike climbed up her body, making her lay back down on the couch. He smiled warmly at his girl. “I’m fine, pet. Don’t worry about me. Although, I’m starting to think that you might have superhuman strength. You could probably kill a bloke with those thigh muscles you know.”

She chuckled. “I plead temporary insanity. You make me lose my mind.”

“Well thank the bloody gods that it’s not permanent then.”

“Um, I’m not too sure about that.”

They shared a laugh and Spike went to kiss her, but she stopped him. He gave her a confused look.

“On your back, mister.”

He smirked and complied. “Bossy bint, aren’t ya?”

Buffy straddled his slim hips. “And you just caught on to that?”

“Well, I’ve noticed a tendency…”

“I am so not bossy. I’m like a kitten. You said it yourself.”

“I said that?” He questioned, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

“Yeah, you call me kitten all the time!”

“Maybe I should start calling you Mistress then. More fitting don’t you think? Mistress Buffy. Has a nice ring to it.”

Buffy slowly rotated her hips, rubbing sensually against Spike’s erection. “I’m sure it wouldn’t be too hard making you beg. I can try.”

Spike pulled her into his arms, flush against his chest. “You don’t even need to try. I have no pride when I’m around you… Mistress.”

Buffy smiled, peppering his lips with airy kisses. She reached behind his head and played with the soft hair at the nape of his neck. She felt peaceful and happy. Spike had that effect on her. No matter how bad the situation, a sense of calm always washed over her when she was in his presence. Honestly, she couldn’t remember why she’d been so upset at the big news earlier. Things would be all right. In this moment, she was certain of it.

They started kissing again, their bodies pressed intimately against each others. Just as things started to heat up, Spike put an end to the kiss and pulled back to look into her eyes. He looked serious.

“What’s wrong?” She asked softly, wanting nothing more than to get back to what they were doing previously.

“This will sound a little funny, but I was just thinking about something…”

“What is it? Tell me.”

“I think maybe we should be more careful. I know it‘s a little late for this but I think we should use protection... Condoms. Just to be on the safe side.”

She opened her mouth to speak but he cut her off.

“I know you said you’re on the pill, but better safe than sorry. I’m just afraid that if the pill isn’t as efficient as it should be, you might end up pregnant.”

All blood drained from Buffy’s face, but she tried to keep the tone of her voice as light as she could despite the thundering beat of her heart. “What? You… don’t want kids?” She tried to joke. “Would it be that bad?”

Spike frowned, obviously not amused. “You can’t be serious? Buffy, that’s the worst thing that could happen to us. That’s why I think some extra protection wouldn’t be a luxury. Our situation is already complicated enough as it is without making it worst by adding an accidental pregnancy to the mix. Let’s not take stupid risks, all right, kitten?”

Buffy nodded and quickly hid her face in the crook of his neck before he could notice the tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

“Yeah, that'd be real stupid, you're absolutely right.” She said, her voice a little cold. “I’ll buy condoms if that’s what you want.” She kissed the side of his neck to soften the harshness of her words.

Spike misunderstood her reaction. “Hey. It’s not that I wouldn’t want these things with you. You know that if it was possible, I would want it all, but it’s not possible. I dream about it all the time, you know. You and I, living the happy life like the perfect soddin’ suburban couple, the big house, the wedding, the kids running around. But then I wake up and know that it will never happen and… Bloody hell, it hurts so bad to realize that, Buffy. You have no idea.”

“Oh believe me, I think I have an idea of how it feels.” She whispered sadly, all ideas of telling him suddenly shot to hell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The phone rang for what felt like a lifetime to Buffy. She was about to hang up and turn to her pint of Ben&Jerry’s for comfort, but finally someone answered.

“Hello?” A voice yelled into the phone over some loud music and laughter.

Buffy frowned, pulling the phone away from her ear a bit. “Dawn?”

“Who?”

“Is Dawn there?”

“Dawn who?”

Buffy sighed in frustration. “The girl who actually LIVES in this dorm room. Dawn Summers?”

“Sorry, can barely hear ya!” The girl yelled into the phone.

Buffy almost screamed in frustration. She took a deep breath. “Can you tell Dawn that her sister is on the phone?”

“Her who?”

“Her SISTER damn it! Argh! Just tell her Buffy called and to call back as soon as she can. I need to talk to her it’s urgent. Can you give her the message or is it too much for you?”

“Sure Betty, I’ll tell her.”

“It’s BUFFY, you dumbass! BUFFY NOT BETTY!” But the girl had already hung up the phone. “Great. Just… GREAT.”

Buffy put the phone down on the coffee table and sat back on the couch.

“Well this really qualifies as the worst day ever.” She told the empty room.

She couldn’t start crying again--wouldn’t. She’d done enough of that for the day. No, in fact, she’d done enough crying for the entire year. She was really starting to feel pathetic. She decided that going to bed sounded like a really good idea. It‘s not like she had anyone to talk to anyway. The only person she could have shared her misery with would have been her sister, and she was obviously busy at the moment. So bed was the only option.

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Chapter 36
Hey little sister what have I done

Buffy stared at the enemy with a determined look on her face. She was strong, she had the power, she would not be defeated. She grabbed her weapon, ready to attack.

“Come on, little one.” She whispered to the tiny life growing inside her belly. “Don’t be a brat, let mommy have the toast, OK? I didn’t even put anything on it--no peanut butter, no jam, not even butter. There will be no barfing tolerated this morning, got it?”

With her knife, she cut the toast into little triangles, the way her mom used to cut them for her when she was a little girl, then she tentatively brought one piece to her mouth. She took a little bite and chewed carefully before swallowing down.

“See? Not that bad, is it?”

Encouraged by her stomach not rebelling too much, she took another bite. “Good little embryo. I need to eat to live. I die, you die too. Try to keep that in mind.”

The sun was shining brightly in the backyard, making the water in the pool sparkle as if it was dusted with diamonds. She hadn’t had much time to enjoy her backyard lately, and this was the perfect morning for a breakfast on the patio. The sight of the bushes full of roses in bloom and the warm breeze that made the leaves of the trees shiver slightly, helped improve her mood somehow.

Buffy felt a little silly for talking to herself, but it was the only thing keeping her sane at the moment. In a way, it forced her to accept that she was pregnant and stop questioning a future she couldn’t change anyway. But still, she needed to talk to someone. She had tried calling Dawn again as soon as she woke up, but got the answering machine.

“Sorority girl’s probably nursing her hang over. What do you think?”

The phone suddenly interrupted her one sided conversation.

**Thank God.** she thought. **I think I was about to answer myself. That would just prove that I‘ve gone completely mental.**

She took the cordless phone that was on the table next to her and answered after seeing on the caller display that it was her sister.

“You’ve reached the home of the mentally unstable, how can I direct your call?”

“Hi, I’m looking for my crazy sister, Buffy Summers. Ever heard of her by any chance?”

“Oh, Miss Summers. Yes, she is a danger to herself and others right now so we've put her in isolation for a little while.”

Dawn chuckled. “So, are you ‘Betty’? Cause there was a post-it next to my phone this morning saying that, and I quote: “Crazy bitch named Betty called for Dawn. Said it was urgent. Dude, she needs chill pills bad. Call her back”. Then I got a weird message on my answering machine from you this morning so I put two and two together. Betty, Buffy… Close enough.”

Buffy whistled, pretending to be impressed. “Wow, I can’t believe that airhead actually took the message. What was going on in there last night anyway?”

Dawn took a mysterious tone to answer. “I can’t say a word. What happens in the dorm, stays in the dorm. If I talk, they’ll kill me.”

Buffy snorted. “And there I was thinking that my little sister was a saint, all pure and innocent. Tsk. I can be so naïve sometimes.”

There was a chuckle at the other end of the line. “But I am innocent! I didn’t do anything. My roommate decided to throw a party; what was I supposed to do? I’m telling you… College life is corrupting me.”

“Like you needed college for that. You had me to corrupt you, remember?”

“Yeah, you were such a bad example. Still are by the way. I’ve been emailing prisoners trying to find love just like my big sister. See what you do to me?” Dawn tried to joke, but it didn’t have the reaction she thought it would.

Instead of the laugh she was expecting, she got a quiet sob.

“Buffy?… What’s going on? Did something happen? Are you all right? Is that why you called last night?”

When her sister didn’t answer, she got frustrated. “Buffy! What is going on? Talk to me. Is it Spike? Did something bad happen with him?”

“I’m pregnant.”

This shocked Dawn into silence.

“Dawn? Are you still there?”

“Huh… yeah, I’m here. You’re what?”

“I’m pregnant, damn it!” Buffy said through her tears. “Do I really have to keep saying that word over and over again? I’m trying to be in denial here for Christ sake!”

“Oh, wow. I don’t know what to say.” Dawn said with hesitation. “I, huh, well, I guess I could react two completely different ways. Squeal with excitement, congratulate you and start talking about baby names and how excited I am to become an aunt; or say that I’m so sorry. Not sure which you wanna hear.”

“Don’t you think the hysterical tears were enough of a clue?”

“I suppose. But I wanna be happy, damn it.” The girl whined. “Why can’t I be happy exactly? Why aren’t you happy? You want kids, I know you do.”

“Not like this! Not when the father might be in prison until he walks with a cane. Not when the man I love won’t be by my side to shop for wallpapers and cribs and car seats. How do you think he’ll feel knowing that he has a family out there and can’t be with them?”

“OK, you do have a very good point. But Buffy, you’ll find a way to get him out of there. And then, everything will be all right. I have a good feeling. Things can’t do anything but get better. I don’t see why they wouldn’t. You’re a good person; you don’t deserve all this bad stuff happening to you.”

Buffy pouted. “Unless I was Hitler in another life.”

“Or Rasputin.”

“Who?”

“Never mind. The point is, you can’t give up. Take it as a motivation. Be the lioness fighting for her cubs.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Lame.”

“Maybe, but true. Fight for what’s yours. I know you can do it. When you really want something, you usually get it. So go frame Angel and get your man out of prison. It’s an order.”

“Yes master. But it might be kind of hard to be credible when I’m pregnant up to my eyes. My original plan was to befriend Angel and Darla, maybe flirt a little and get them to trust me. So unless they have a fantasy about a threesome with a pregnant woman, it’s going to make things way harder.”

“Which only means you have to act fast. How far along are you?”

“Only a month I think. But I‘ll know for sure when I go for the ultrasound.”

“That gives you about three months before you really start showing. Do you think it’s enough?”

“If I make the first move now, maybe. I’m still waiting for the PI I hired to take care of the legal aspect.”

“Can’t you use that time to start approaching them?”

Buffy remained silent for a moment, staring off in the distance at her serene surroundings. She was sitting there with her mind in turmoil, her life completely upside down, and meanwhile, her neighbors were carrying on with their everyday lives, mowing the lawn, going to work, playing with their kids. It almost seemed wrong. But it was just appearances. They probably had their problems too, just like her. Maybe not as soap opera-ish, but problems nonetheless. And suddenly, she felt ashamed of herself. It wasn’t like her to let problems bring her down. Normally, she would fight whatever life threw at her. Dawn was absolutely right. She should take the bull by the horns.

“I’m sorry honey, you’re so right. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and why I’ve been so pathetic lately. Can I blame the pregnancy? I heard it does quite a number on a girl’s hormones.”

“I think it might be the accumulation. You’ve been through a lot lately. It’s normal that you’d freak you. But the Buffy I know would go out there and kick some asses.”

Buffy finally managed her first real smile in more than 24 hours. “Then that’s what Buffy shall do.”

“Good to hear. So, how did Spike take the news?”

She cleared her throat uncomfortably before answering in a somewhat sheepish voice. “Oh, he took it well… as in, he doesn’t know yet.”

“You didn’t get to see him?”

“I did.”

“But?”

“But I sorta didn’t tell him.”

“Buffy!” Dawn exclaimed indignantly. “He should be the first one to know!”

“I couldn’t, OK! I tried. I was going to tell him. But I couldn’t. He won’t take it well.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes I do.”

“Oh, so you’re psychic now or something?”

“No, he told me.”

“Not following you. You said you didn’t tell him, so why would he tell you that? I don’t get it.”

“Because.” Buffy’s short lasting good mood was long gone and she was back to emotional mess status. “I was about to tell him when he started talking about using condoms from now on, saying that it would be catastrophic if I’d get pregnant. What was I supposed to say to that? ‘Oh, by the way, I already am… Surprise!’ That would have gone over well, I’m sure.”

“OK, I can see how that was bad. I would have probably chickened out of telling him too. But you have to take a step back and see things objectively. He made that comment not knowing you are already knocked up. He was only pointing out to you that it would be bad if you’d end up pregnant. Which is true, right? You told me yourself.”

“Not sure I follow.”

“It’s like if I tell you to be careful not to drink and drive because you could get into an accident and it would be horrible. But I don’t know you’re talking to me from the hospital because you did do it and you lost both your legs in the accident. I would have reacted way differently if I had known, right? And when you’d tell me, I’d be supportive and still spend days and nights at the hospital with you. So that’s my point. Sure, when he was speaking in theory, he said it would be horrible. But when you tell him, I’m sure he will be supportive and loving, and will be happy to be a father even if the situation sucks right now.”

“It sucks to be the beautiful one sometimes.”

“Hey! I might be the brainy one, but I’m still as much of babe as you are. I have brains AND beauty.”

“Whatever you say, brat.”

“Whatever. Promise me you’ll tell him as soon as you have the chance.”

“Fine. I promise.”

“Good. I gotta go now; I have classes in twenty minutes.”

“All right. You better not sleep off the hang over during your class missy or I’ll tell mom you got drunk.”

Dawn huffed indignantly. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Watch me.” Buffy smiled. “Love ya.”

“Love you too. Bye.”

They hung up and Buffy stood up, finally ready to face the day.

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TBC

Chapter 37: Unavailable



"You have four new messages. Message one, Friday 4pm."

Standing on the front porch of her house, Buffy rummaged through her purse to find her keys while holding on to her cell phone with her shoulder.

"Hello luv, it's me. I haven't heard from you in a couple of days and I was starting to miss you. Hope you all right then. Give us a call when you got a chance, kitten. Love you."

"Press one if you would like to hear this message again. Press two if..."

She locked the front door and put the keys back in her black leather bag. Being careful not fall off her four inches heels, she hurried to her car, only to curse under her breath when she realized she still needed the keys that she'd just dropped back in her messy purse.

" Message two. Friday 9pm."

"Yeah, it's me again. They're just about to turn the lights off for the night and I thought I might take a minute to try calling you again. I was hoping to hear your voice before going to bed, but it doesn't look like it's going to happen tonight. Sorry for sounding like such a Nancy boy, luv. Guess I was just feeling a bit lonely tonight, is all."

Hands on the steering wheel, Buffy closed her eyes when a wave of overwhelming guilt washed over her at hearing Spike‘s words. She’d been upset after their last meeting and just wanted a little time alone to think things through. Maybe she should have at least emailed him.

"Whatever you're doing, I hope you're having a good time and you're thinking about me. I'll talk to you soon. Good night luv."

"Sorry, baby." She whispered in the empty car.

She put the key in the ignition and started the engine, then quickly backed out of the drive way without bothering to look in the rear view mirror first. The angry driver she cut off honked furiously.

"Oops. SORRY!" She waved apologetically, as if it would make the guy forget she almost got them both killed, then drove off.

"Message three. Saturday 10pm."

"Hello Buffy, it’s Wesley. I've been trying to get a hold of you at home and on your mobile since last night without any luck. I hope you're all right. I have important news. If you could please call me back as soon as you get this message, I'd appreciate it. I'll be at the office tomorrow morning, but you can call me at any time on my mobile. Talk to you then."

"Damn it!" Buffy hit the steering wheel in annoyance.

"What news, Wesley? Good? Bad? Could you be any more vague?" She asked, not taking into consideration the fact that the phone could not answer. She had been waiting for so long to put the ‘save Spike plan‘ in motion that she‘d finally lost her patience and decided that tonight was the night. Her secret relationship with Spike could not go on forever without someone finding out about it, especially now that they had a baby on the way. So she decided she couldn‘t afford to wait one more day. But maybe what Wesley had to say would force her to change her plans. It would have been kinda nice to know what news he had before leaving the house, but then again, she had only herself to blame for not answering her phone all weekend.

She turned the red convertible at a sharp angle, nearly missing the entrance to the Fish Tank's parking lot. Another risky maneuver, followed by a brutal stomping on the brake brought the small car almost between the two yellow lines of a parking spot.

Two large bikers were watching the scene with a mixture of worry and amusement on their faces. She'd come too close to their precious Harleys for comfort, but at the same time there was something incredibly amusing about seeing this little blonde California girl driving like a spaz. She flashed them a smile and they finally went back to their conversation, reassured that she had turned the engine off and there wasn't any more risk to their beloved machines.

Buffy pressed two on her cell to save the message and continue listening.

"Message four. Sunday 3pm."

"Hey, it's Spike again. Yeah, I am well aware of how this looks. Weird insecure boyfriend not getting a soddin' clue when it hits him in the face. Even the guards are looking at me like I'm pathetic. But I can't help it, I'm starting to get worried luv. You never spent a weekend without calling me at least once. I had the impression something was off last time we saw each other. I should have paid more attention. It's probably something I did or said I usually know when I'm being a stupid git and say something I shouldn't, but maybe I got so good at putting my foot in my mouth that I don't even realize it anymore. So... yeah. If you're mad at me, tell me what I did so I can apologize properly and try to make it better. OK then, I'll talk to you later... Love you."

Overwhelming guilt gave way to unbearable guilt. When she'd decided that she didn't want to talk to anybody this weekend, it never crossed her mind that playing hermit Buffy would get Spike this worried.

Buffy turned the overhead light on and used her Blackberry to send him an email. He wouldn't get it tonight because it was already too late, but at least he'd get it first thing in the morning and thanks to the time and date on the email, he would see that she sent it as soon as she got home... Even if technically, she never 'got home' since she never left in the first place.

[Baby I'm so sorry! I'm not mad. I went to my mom's for the weekend and left my phone at home. I swear that you didn't do or say anything wrong.]

OK. That was sort of a lie. But he didn't say anything to hurt her on purpose and since she couldn't tell him what he did wrong without having to tell him about the baby, then she'd have to lie.

[You might be a weird insecure boyfriend, but you're MY weird insecure boyfriend and I love you.]

Well, that part definitely wasn't a lie.

[And since when do you care what the guards think of you? Next time, just tell them to bugger off. Who knows... maybe they'll send you to my office for being a bad boy lol. See you soon.]

"There. That should take care of the guilt. At least until I fully realize that I just lied to him again."

As she clicked on send, her 'White Wedding' ring tone broke the silence of the car. The caller display informed her that Wesley was trying to reach her.

"Hello?"

There was a moment of hesitation on the other end of the line.

"... Buffy?"

"Yes Wesley, it's me."

"I apologize for being so rude. I just wasn't expecting you to answer. Your phone has been off all weekend. I was trying again in case you'd be back but I didn't think you'd pick up."

"I know. I'm sorry. I was in San Francisco visiting my mom and I forgot my phone at home." She explained, using the same excuse she had used on Spike a moment ago.

"That's quite all right. I was only worried that something might have been wrong when you didn't return my calls. I thought you'd be eager to find out what news I had for you. But if you were not home, that explains it."

"I was just checking my messages now. What do you have for me? I hope it's good news."

"I was on my way to Sunnydale actually. I'm about twenty minutes away. If you don't mind waiting, I'd rather discuss this with you in person. I could stop by your place..."

"I'm sorry, I can't right now. I... I'm not home."

"Would you rather meet somewhere else? Where are you? Are you in Sunnydale?"

"I... huh... Well, I'm in the parking lot at the Fish Tank."

"Interesting way to spend your Sunday night I must say. Does you being there have anything to do with Angel and Darla?"

Buffy couldn't help but snicker. "Believe me, this is not my idea of fun."

"I‘m sorry but I have to ask. Why exactly are you there? Isn't keeping an eye on these wankers what you pay me for? These are dangerous individuals, Buffy. I don't think it's wise to go in there by yourself."

There was a moment of heavy silence before she finally answered, deciding it was best to tell him the truth. "I couldn't wait any longer, Wesley. My life has taken an unexpected turn and time is not a luxury I can afford anymore. I need to do this now."

"Can't you wait a bit longer? A few days, maybe? The reason I was calling you is because Lilah Morgan contacted me Friday morning. She got the papers signed by a judge. I must admit, that woman is quite efficient. A copy has been sent to Sunnydale PD and now they won't have a choice but to reopen the Blackwell case. My friend Kate is working on it with her boss and all we have to do is wait for the green light."

"One more reason for me to go in there and start making with the friendlies with the psycho killers. This way we'll be closer to our goal when we do get the green light. Doesn't it make sense?"

The P.I. let out a sigh of frustration. "Can't you at least wait for me to get there? We could go in together pretending to be a couple. I'd feel much better if you were not to do this by yourself."

"No. They would never fall for that. Look, we've both observed them enough to know how they work. They get infatuated with a pretty girl, include her in their circle for a while, then get bored with her and tell her to get lost. I'm hoping to keep their interest long enough for them to trust me. They won't trust a guy as easily, believe me."

"Buffy..." Wesley tried in a pleading tone.

"Don't worry about me, Wes, I got everything under control." She lied smoothly even though her hands were shaking badly. "I'm going for the evil slutty dumb blonde routine. And we both know I'm exactly the type they go for. So it's gonna be a piece of cake."

"Fine. But I can't help but feel like I'm throwing you to the wolves."

She huffed. "This little red riding hood isn't scared of some wanna be big bad wolves. Believe me; I deal with much worst on a daily basis. I'll be fine."

Wesley chuckled. "I don't know if you're incredibly courageous or simply foolish, but one way or another, if you ever find yourself out of a job, come knock on my door. We'd be a good team I reckon."

Buffy laughed. "I'll keep that in mind. Anyway, I gotta go inside now. I'm starting to look suspicious just sitting out here in my car."

"All right then. I'm about fifteen minutes away from the exit. I'm going straight to the Fish Tank. I'll park my car in the 7/Eleven parking right next door. If anything goes wrong, anything at all, you call me and I'll get you out of there."

"Thanks Wesley. I won't stay long. Maybe an hour or two. I'll see you after."

"Good luck... And don't do anything foolish"

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