Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, or anything related to Buffy the Vampire Slayer- they belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.

 

Rated: Parts will be NC-17

 

Distribution:  As long as you ask and tell me where it's going.

 

Author's Note: Begins after As You Were. A Buffy & Spike centered fic, but other characters are involved also. Since this is my first attempt at writing fanfic, or anything of the sort, please go easy on me. 

 

Also, HUGE thanks to Madrog for all the support, feedback, and time. I really appreciate it! I probably wouldn't have started this if it weren't for you, it's been fun.

 

Reviews: Well, of course, that would be great!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                    Chapter 1

                                               Lost and Found

 

 

 

 

 

Buffy sat on her bed, the moonlight casting a dreamy glow throughout her room. A sense of loneliness hung heavy in the air. And doubts plagued her mind. Mostly about the night she had told Spike it was over between the two of them. She had tried to stay strong. Told herself that in the end, the choice she had made was for the better. But every night since then, her heart betrayed her mind, and tears had come easily after the lights were off. In the darkness, everything hurt more. Everything was still and put to rest; there were no distractions. Nobody to hide from. Except herself, because it was quiet enough to hear what was inside.

 

 

 

 

 

Buffy's fingers absentmindedly played with the cross that hung from her neck. She was thankful that Xander had taken Dawn to dinner and a movie. Anya probably wasn't as pleased with the prospect of someone tagging along she had to be less blatant around. The last time Dawn had gone with the both of them was when Anya insisted on the skating chimp movie. Dawn had told her never again would she go through another movie with Anya's sympathy noises and endless chatter. But that had been a long time ago, and finally Dawn gave into the idea that Anya had changed more since then. And there would be a new CD out of it. Buffy felt bad that she coerced her sister into going, but she needed this time to herself. Quiet time was very rare and she wanted to be able to reflect on the last few months without interruptions. There was only one thing she was certain of at this point, and that was she felt disconnected from everything.

 

 

 

 

 

She missed being close with Willow. Like there was some invisible line that separated them from what they were before, from what they were now. She didn't think that line represented any one action that happened between them, and that only made it harder to define what had to be done to meet in the middle again. The part that bothered her most was knowing that Willow had feelings she didn't share with her, and likewise. It was the lack of trust, and worrying about being judged, that hindered their relationship the most. Sadly, Buffy knew her part in this overture was more prominent.

 

 

 

 

 

The warm night breeze beckoned her and she made her way down to the back porch. She sat on the familiar steps and looked up into the star filled sky. Riley. Riley showing up a few days ago was totally unexpected. A totally unexpected wake up call. She realized what she didn't have, what she could have had and what she wanted. Or, so she thought. Buffy knew her mind and heart were just two mere oddities in her odd world. They barely worked together. Like anyone's she supposed.

 

 

 

 

 

Buffy thought back to the first time Riley had left. Xander's voice still in her head, "Dependable? I think you mean convenient." Tears falling. The last part, "Run." And that she did. Like she was running toward the edge of the earth and she had one chance to grab that rope that would rescue her. She had stood there watching what she thought was her one chance of happiness going up into the dark endless sky. She had stood there until the helicopter's lights faded and she could no longer tell if they were stars or not.

 

 

 

 

Then she had hugged herself, as she walked home in a daze. Going over in her mind what had happened, she realized where she had gone wrong. Xander had been right. She told herself that maybe him leaving would be one of her biggest regrets, but on the other hand, how she was, is all she knew how to be. Maybe it would have ended anyway. All she could do was try to do things differently in the future.

 

 

 

 

 

Then Spike came along. And with Spike, when old patterns came up, she figured it wouldn't matter so much. So what if he was yet, just another convenience? He was a guy and he was dead, could he really be upset with her for using him? Truthfully, her actions bothered her, but she figured there was nobody better to be the "bad in relationships Buffy" with than Spike. He was just a get by guy for her. Someone to scratch her itch, as he said. Someone to hear I love you from, even if she questioned the sincerity of it. Someone to ground her when she felt herself drifting away.

 

 

 

 

 

Those excuses seemed more and more unjustifiable every time she told them to herself. She learned in hindsight from Riley, love is an all or nothing deal. You can't give just part of yourself and expect the other person not to yearn for the missing pieces. It's about trust, and that is why loving a man flat out scared her. Spike scared her. Spike made her scared of herself. It was nights like these she wanted to run to him and tell him. Confess all she kept hidden. The things she kept hidden to protect herself. The same things that made her fall apart. But telling him would mean there was no going back. It would mean she would have to trust.

 

 

 

 

 

Buffy hung her head and raked her fingers through her hair. A noise caused her to look up. Spike. He stood there bathed in moonlight, which gave him a ghostly appearance. She swallowed hard, not ready to face the cause of her inner turmoil. "Spike." He took a couple steps forward. Buffy wanted him to come all the way to her. Sit by her and rub her back, like he did when she found out about her mother's illness. She wanted to lean into him and let herself go without restraint. Cry out all her pent up frustrations. But she couldn't. She couldn't let him see. "I told you it's over, Spike. I'm not changing my mind."

 

 

 

 

 

"Not seeing you for the last few days would be a sure indication of that. Didn't have any doubts this time around, luv." He sighed and looked as if he was trying to gather himself together. "Right then...just wanted to say goodbye. Didn't think just up and leaving would be proper."

 

 

 

 

 

Here they were, both with bleeding hearts and eyes that had been dried only moments before. "What do you mean?" she asked.

 

 

 

 

 

"I'll try to make this quick." He looked away and she saw his jaw muscle clench. Uncertainty washed over his face as he looked back at her. "I knew what we had was fragile, Buffy. You and me, we were never supposed to have a beginning. But we did... friendship. What I thought would be the support of whatever else was to become of it, if anything. I only hoped for something; dreamed mostly." Spike wanted to grab a cigarette, but decided it would taint the moment. His hands felt nervous. This was just as hard as he imagined it was going to be. "That night in the abandoned house, I never told you, but the whole time, I kept thinking how beautiful you were; wrapped around me, letting yourself go," he said, lost in the moment. "After that night, things changed. Sex took the place of our friendship. It took the place of our talks. Made me less real in your eyes, I guess." He took a moment to study her face, to make sure she was at least remotely understanding what he was trying to convey. "Sex, Buffy, was not what I wanted the foundation of our relationship to be, contrary to what you probably believe. Ironic that is all you ended up wanting from me. Every time I was making love to you, I wanted to believe you felt everything I did." He paused a moment then went on. "But you told me you were using me, and how many times did you let me know I was nothing?" His voice caught in his throat, and he had to look away.

 

 

 

Buffy made a movement like she was going to get up. He motioned for her to stay. "Thought I wasn't what you deserved. I'm not really. But Buffy, people are not something you use to drain what you desire from life. It seems you can defeat any demon, except for your inner one." Buffy hung her head and cradled it between her hands. Spike continued, "Buffy, I...I don't want to go. But I think it's best for you. I want to give you time. I already know what I want, but I don't think you do."

 

Buffy looked back up at him and rubbed her hands up and down on her legs. "Spike..." she said as she got up and started slowly walking toward him.

 

 

 

Spike remained motionless. "Just tell Dawn I'll be in touch with her. K? And I think you should tell her the truth. I think she knows more than she lets on." He started to turn, then came back around. "I'm sorry Buffy, for whatever it's worth." How it is to love someone so deeply and not be believed, he knew all too well.

 

 

 

 

 

"Where are you going? Spike? At least tell me that."

 

 

Was that a worried look? Her voice sounded desperate, but he wouldn't let himself hope. Hope had come back to kick him in the ass enough for him to know better by now. "I don't know yet, but not too far. Probably no more than an hour or two away. Want to be close enough incase something happens."

 

 

 

 

 

That was just like him. Just like him to still be counted on. "How long?"

 

 

 

 

 

"Don't know. I can't deal with things here, so close." He stood there. She was close and he could smell her. God it was torture to turn and walk away. Turn back toward the shadows.

 

 

 

 

 

She looked down for a second, trying to compose her face. When she looked back up he was gone. One more man engulfed by the night. One more heart's dirty lesson.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(3 nights later)

 

Buffy and Dawn sat on the couch, an assortment of slumber party essentials displayed before them. They were both messing around with the video camera when the door opened. Tara and Willow said happy hellos as they made their way in, and dropped their stuff off in a corner. They were followed closely by Anya, who gave a loud sigh as she sat down close to the coffee table.  "I'll have you know I gave up sex for this. And this is Wednesday; my endless orgasm night." She popped a piece of popcorn in her mouth. "Ok, so Xander is probably happy he didn't have to perform for hours, after doing overtime today, and yes, Mr. Xan Jr. is running low on batteries, but I just hope you realize what I gave up."

 

 

 

 

 

Buffy could tell Dawn was holding back a giggle. "Yes, Anya, we are very happy you are here with us." She wanted to ask her if Mr. Xan. Jr. was anyway related to Jack Rabbit, but didn't dare use the word rabbit and sex in the same sentence.

 

 

 

Dawn couldn't resist though. "Wow, Xander must love having a little sex bunny for a girlfriend."

 

 

 

Anya's face twisted and Willow jumped up to interrupt the coming comment. "So, Buff, this is great. It's about time we have a girly get together."

 

 

 

Anya looked quizzically from Willow to Tara and then back again, "Is there something I don't know? I mean, this is just food and talk right? No involvement of sexy moves...at least that was what I was lead to believe."

 

 

 

The next hour or so was spent filling up on junk food, having a few drinks to loosen up, and the sharing of info found in the numerous magazines that were scattered about. Buffy didn't know whether to smile or hide herself when Tara held up Redbook and said, "Oh, here's a good one, Is Your Lover Dead In Bed?" She was glad Dawn chose that moment to motion her into the kitchen.

 

 

 

"Yeah?"

 

 

 

"Didn't you hear the phone ring?"

 

 

 

Buffy shook her head no.

 

 

 

"It was Spike."

 

 

 

"And?"

 

 

 

"And he just let me know where he is and how to get a hold him if anything comes

up."

 

 

 

"Anything else?" she tried not to let her eyes show an expectation, but she knew her voice did anyway.

 

 

 

"Just that he misses us." Dawn lied, he had only said he missed her, but she wanted to see her sisters reaction. "You never told me why he left. Just that he had to. I asked him and he said to ask you."

 

 

 

Buffy's shoulders sagged under the weight of remembering what she was trying to forget tonight. "Later maybe. Let's get back in there and watch a movie."

 

 

 

 

 

So the night went on, and by 3 AM they had had their fill of crazy talk, dancing, laughs and food. Tara and Dawn fell asleep watching an old Bugs Bunny cartoon. Anya had gone upstairs, because "she was disturbed by it," and fell asleep on Buffy's bed. That left Willow and Buffy alone. Buffy pointed to the large selection of polish, and stuck her foot out toward her friend. "Sparkling Raspberry, please." Willow grabbed the bottle and set to work. Buffy decided it was a good time to talk. "Will, ya know, even though we see each other, I don't think we really do. Like, we only know the surface of each other now." Buffy looked directly at Willow's somber face. "It's bugging me."

 

 

 

Willow proceeded to finish the last toenail, and then gave her attention to the matter at hand. "I know what you mean."

 

 

 

"I'm sorry."

 

 

 

"Oh, no, Buffy," Willow said. "Don't blame yourself. I mean, it's both of us. Something fell away from us...we just have to find it."

 

 

 

Buffy looked down and thought for a second, then said, "I think we just did."

 

 

 

"What do you mean?"

 

 

 

"We just need to talk. About things we've kept to ourselves. Friends are supposed to help us carry our burdens, but they can't if we don't give them a chance." Buffy stood up and held her hand out to Willow. "Let's go for a walk. It's nice out... and I have a lot to tell you."

 

 

Chapter 2

Gone

Buffy and Dawn cooked dinner together, and then sat in front of the TV to watch some of the video they took at the sleep-over, a few days ago.

"Gees, Dawn, do you think you could have moved around anymore? I'm getting motion sickness watching this."

"Sorry, it should end soon; I didn't have it on long." Dawn left to refill her glass.

Buffy watched as the view on TV fell to the floor, catching glimpses of Dawn's sneakers. The phone rang in the background. 'This must have been when Spike called.' she thought to herself. Her interest peaked as she listened intently and heard most of Dawn's side of the conversation. "Hey Spike! I was hoping you really would call...I know...Why did you leave?" Dawn's voice had a hint of indignation in it. "Buffy? Yeah, like that'll happen. Just tell me...Ok, I'll try. So you'll call next Tuesday?... Okay, eight o'clock then...miss you too, bye." The screen went blank just as Dawn walked back into the room and sat back down. Buffy gave her a little nudge. "You actually did a good job."

"Really? Cool," Dawn said, all proud of herself.

Buffy took a sip of her soda. 'At least at the end you did,' she thought.

Just then the TV came back to life, grabbing the attention of both girls. Buffy watched as the camera focused on her image laying on the living room floor, wrapped up in a blanket, in a deep sleep, hugging a pillow. Dawn and Willow's giggles could be faintly heard. Buffy snuggled closer to her pillow. She made a little sound then said, "Spiiiiike." Which was followed by more frantic giggles, louder this time around. Tara hushed them and then said, "Spike?"

"Ahhhhhh...forgot about that part," Dawn said, looking over to her sister and quickly grabbed the remote.

The clock chimed and Buffy was distracted as she noticed it was eight. Eight on Tuesday. "Very funny, you say one word...I mean it." she gave Dawn her best threatening look. Her eyes moved to the stairs. "I'm going to go veg in my room for a while. I have a headache. Maybe even turn in early since I don't have to patrol tonight." She gave Dawn a hug. "It's nice spending more time together."

Once Buffy was in her room, she shut the door and ran over to sit next to the phone. The alarm clock slowly ticked minutes away. "I'm just listening to find out where he is. Never know what may come up. And there is no way I'm asking Dawn, she'll run in a hundred different directions as to why I want to know." she said softly to one of her stuffed animals, as she played with its ears. For some reason, she wanted desperately to hear his voice. She knew she couldn't talk to him though. Couldn't let him know the ache of missing him had only grown stronger each day that passed. Why would she? She was trying to get him out of her life wasn't she? Trying to tell herself that this empty feeling was something she had to get over.

After about ten, long, agonizing minutes, she began to wonder if he forgot, but finally the phone rang. She could hear Dawn running for the phone in her own room, and timed it just right, so they'd pick up nearly at the same time. She listened.

"Buffy?"

"No, it's me."

"Oh, hi bit. Sorry. Thought I heard Buffy."

Buffy held her breath. How could he have known? Could he even sense her on the other line of the phone?

"So where are you calling from? A pay phone?"

"Yeah, at a bar." Spike said, and then mumbled something away from the phone. A female's voice was barely heard in the background. Spike's voice again, "Stupid bint."

"Who is that?" asked Dawn. Buffy wondered also.

"Nobody, just the crowd hanging around this place. Anyway, can't talk long. Just wanted to see how things are going."

"Good. We had fun the other night, when you called last. I told Buffy, hope you don't mind."

Pause. "Did she tell you anything yet?"

"No..."

"Figures."

"Yeah, like that's a surprise." Dawn's voice perked up, "But she said she misses you."

Buffy almost let the cat out of the bag when she heard Dawn say that. Her face scrunched up and she held her breath.

"Really?" Spike sounded a little doubtful.

Buffy gripped the receiver tighter, like the phone may somehow translate to Dawn she better not saying anything like that again.

"Yeah, and get this, that night, Willow and I cau-"

Buffy ran to the hallway. "DAWN!".

Dawn saw her doorknob start to shake. Luckily she had locked it. She kept her voice low, "...caught Buffy making noises and saying your name in her sleep. Gotta go, call me again soon, ok?"

"I will pet. Bye." Spike hung up the phone, a smile tugging on his lips.

*********

Buffy stood in Dawn's bedroom, hands on hips, glaring at her sister. "I can't believe how manipulative you are."

"I can't believe what a sneak you are. Listening to my conversation. I didn't have to manipulate you to eavesdrop, did I? No siree, you had a reason."

"Yeah, to make sure you were behaving. Which you weren't."

"More like to hear...Spiiike," Dawn said, giving her best imitation of her sleeping sister.

Buffy moved her mouth, but no words came forth. Color crept into her cheeks. "I am so not having this conversation. Goodnight," she said firmly as she walked out the door, but called back, "Brat!"

Once in her room, she could still hear Dawn mumbling. The sound of her stereo finally drowned out her complaints and she fell into a heavy sleep.

***********

The next day, after returning home from her work shift at the Double Meat Palace, Buffy found a note left on the kitchen counter.

Buffy,

I'm meeting Will and Tara for lunch, and then I'm going over Spike's crypt to check up on things. Maybe pick up a bit for him. (No, no word yet when he is coming back) Spike mentioned Clem hanging out there off and on, so I may run into him. I should be home before you anyway, just covering my butt.

Dawn

Buffy looked at the clock, it was getting late. Only an hour till sunset. She tried to push the thought that something could have happened to her out of her mind. Just then, Willow and Tara came in.

"Will, when did you last see Dawn?" asked Buffy.

"Ummm, that'd be around two-ish. She said she was going for a walk and then going home."

"Well, according to the note she left, she planned on going to Spike's first. But, she hasn't made it back yet."

Tara looked a little confused. "I thought he was out of town....I mean..." she looked at Willow apologetically. "Willow told me. About..."

"Oh. Oh, no, that's ok," Buffy said looking down at her feet then back up at Tara.

"I like Spike" Tara replied with a shy smile. "So is he back?"

"No, I guess Dawn just felt like going there. but she should be back by now. Can you guys hang around while I go take a look- see? Just incase she comes back while I'm out. I'll call to keep updated."

"Oh, yeah, sure. Whatever help you need. Maybe I could do a spell, or something, if you need me to." Willow answered in a self-assured voice. Tara gave her a look. "Or not."

************

Buffy went to Spike's crypt, but Dawn was already gone. She looked around. It was looking a little more tidy than usual and Dawn must have let it air out for a while. Thankfully, his scent still lingered on one of his shirts she found folded on his bed. "Gosh, didn't think he couldn't afford to leave a shirt behind," she said out loud as she fingered the worn material.

After a few moments spent reflecting on recent memories made there, she left to look around some more. She was just about to the cemetary gate when she spotted Clem. "Clem!" she said to get his attention and ran to where he was hanging out. "Hey, have you seen Dawn?"

"Oh, hi Slayer," he said with a little wave. "Saw her a while ago. Right here actually, ...I had dozed off while eating a snack and thinking about my winnings from last night's poker game." His face lit up and his voice went up a notch, "Wanna see the kittens?" he held up a white cotton bag and mewing could be heard from within.

Buffy wrinkled her nose. "Oh, no, really, that's ok. Listen, this is really important. How long ago was it?"

"Since I got the kittens?" Clem said, as he tilted his head slightly.

Buffy sighed. "No, since you saw Dawn."

"Ooooh, sorry. About two hours ago. I think. Naps make my head all foggy," he said as he made his hand swirl around near the side of his head. "She said she forgot something at the crypt and was going to go back to get it, and then head home."

"Thanks, Clem." She turned and took a couple steps, but then turned toward him again. "Do you know where Spike went? I mean, if anything happens, I may need to get a hold of him."

"Ummmm...No, I don't. He just said that you were driving him crazy and had to get away for a while."

"What?" Buffy couldn't believe Spike told him that. Like he was laying everything on her for what happened.

Clem looked uncomfortable. "Hey, don't kill the messenger," he said nervously, holding his hands up surrender style. "Actually, I don't think that was a message I was supposed to relay." He saw how distressed she looked. "Sure you don't want to see the kittens? I heard tight-skinned people keep them in their houses." He hesitated, then looked at the white bag like he was contemplating something. "You can have one, if you want."

Buffy was daydreaming and only half heard him. "Huh? Oh, no. I gotta go. Thanks, bye." She took off once again for the crypt.

**********

Back in the crypt, Buffy made her way to the lower level once more. It was dark now and she had to use the flashlight she had brought in her bag. During a sweep of the room, something caught her eye. Something shiny on the floor, near the entrance to the sewers. Buffy made her way over and knelt down, picking up one of Dawn's earrings. She then made her way into the tunnel a little more, only to find one of Dawn's shoes. Whatever had happened, she had put up a fight.

-TBC-


 

Chapter 3

Fading Away, Coming Back

Spike had stayed up all night in the bar he had taken a mild fancy to. Seeing it was a Friday, the place was quite crowed, and that wasn't to his liking. Drinking helped very little, and he found drowning his mind didn't seem to lessen the heavy weight of his heart. Hell, he had known that for months now, but it was something to do. The regulars there were rather uninteresting and so he mostly kept to himself. Any ladies that tried to hit on him were quickly turned away. Problem was, his intimidating look and growly sneer, seemed to only attract them more.

After night faded, and the horizon started to brighten, Spike hurriedly dragged himself into the nearest motel. Seeing that he had a killer headache and was desperate for a shower, he decided now was as good of a time as any to get a room. Thank God he had a little money stashed away, but he knew it wouldn't last long.

After having some blood and a shower, he undressed and then haphazardly fell onto the double bed. He lay there staring at the ceiling fan above him; its gentle breeze slightly moved his curly hair as it began to dry.

Six days, that's all it had been since Spike had left, but to him it felt like months. God he missed her. Spike rolled over and grabbed a cream-colored blouse from his travel bag. He held it up to his face and made a guttural sound when he smelled Buffy's scent still encased in it's threads. The smooth texture of it against his hands brought him right back to the night she had been wearing it. It was the night after her birthday party. He had been reading a short story from one of his old books, when the door flung open and she had ran in, soaked from the raging storm outside. She had obviously been running and her chest pulsated against her now see through shirt.

Buffy explained that she was out patrolling when it started pouring so hard, she could hardly see a few feet in front of her, and decided it was best just to wait the storm out there.

At first all Spike could do was sit and admire her trembling form lit by candlelight. Then, without saying anything, he went and took her hand to lead her to his bed. He carefully undressed her, and at the same time, softly caressed any newly exposed skin. This was different from their previous lovemaking; every move was so slow and concentrated, Buffy almost seemed shy at times. It was then that he would lift her chin back up so she would look at him, and then he'd reassure her with a whisper of his love for her.

After a lengthy amount of time was spent enjoying each other's bodies, Buffy wrapped herself around Spike and let herself fall asleep in his arms. Spike could hardly sleep. He didn't dare bat an eye, afraid that she may get spooked and run off like usual. Instead, he just lay there, taking in the feeling of her breath on his chest and her arm that was wrapped around his exposed side.

When they woke, the storm was over and Buffy had cursed over the fact she had over-slept. Dawn was home, and she didn't know if Willow was there also or not. In too much of a hurry to find her misplaced shirt, she threw on one of Spike's t-shirts, hoping it wouldn't have to be explained to a nosey sister.

Spike had found her shirt soon after she left. He spent the rest of the night with it near him as he lay in bed thinking that maybe things were turning for the better in their relationship. Maybe she was beginning to trust him.

Spike let out a heavy sigh; for now he knew things hadn't changed. He never would have imagined he'd be farther away than just across town from the Summer's house. And now here he was, a few towns over, miserable and feeling more detached from Buffy than ever. And the thought of tomorrow being another day of hanging out in that abandoned house he had taken up residence in, only made him feel worse, but he did consider himself quite lucky to find an unoccupied space to stay for the time being. The old, dilapidated place gave him privacy, and so far he was seldom bothered. It was once evening fell that he would wander off, because in the moonlight the interior reminded him too much of the house he and Buffy had been in together. The one they tore apart from their frenzied coupling. He had tried to sleep the days away, but it was an attempt that was easily defeated by thoughts of her. His feeble mind succumbed to his inner desires, no matter how much he tried to block them out.

He knew when he left that each day wouldn't get any better. Not for him, anyway. It was Buffy he had really done it for. Thought maybe if he left, she would be able to sort things out better. She had said that she was using him; but more important, at least to him, she had also admitted she had feelings for him. And it was those feelings he wanted her to come to terms with. His biggest fear was this whole plan working against him, because he knew he had a bad track record of his plans not working out accordingly. And he hoped beyond hoped that she wouldn't get used to the idea of him not being around, and even worse,like it. If he had his way when he returned, she'd meet him with her wide, green eyes and he wouldn't have to question whether it was love, or not, shining in them. So many times he had looked into those eyes, and read what he believed to be her true emotions and thoughts. Her mouth may have said otherwise, but he refused to believe it.

The morning sun was now shining brightly outside, illuminating the dark blue mini-blinds. He held the shirt against him with his left hand and fell into a restless sleep.

****

Buffy walked quietly through the tunnels, following what little trial there was left of Dawn's abductors. There were two sets of footprints, both obviously made by some type of demon. Dawn's footprints were mostly at the place she had struggled, and Buffy assumed she had been carried off after that. She was very worried now; every minute that went by only increased her anxiety over the situation. Most of the time she could keep her cool under stress, but when things got this personal, it's a different story. Little thought went in to the fact that she didn't know her way around very well underground, and by now, she was well lost. All she could do was move forward and hope to find Dawn before it was too late, if it wasn't already.

The trail was getting harder to follow, disappearing here and there, making her have to guess what way they went next. Having to backtrack two times made her lose even more time and patience. Also, Dawn must have done some damage to one, or both of them, because sporadically she'd find a drop of blue colored ooze, perhaps their blood.

Suddenly, a noise up ahead echoed toward her and she took off at full sprint. Just as she was about to turn a corner, the heel of her boot slipped into a large crack, causing her to twist her ankle. "Ow," Buffy said as she fell hard. Frustration quickly set in. She didn't have time to waste. She used one hand to support her ankle and the other to pull her heel out. "Stupid boots." Cautiously, she stood and tried putting her full weight on it, but a sharp pain shot up to her knee and she buckled, ending up on her butt. Another noise brought her to her senses, but this time it was much closer than the last, and bad news was, it came from behind her. Without having time to react, an arm wrapped around her and she felt something be stuck into her neck. All she had time to do was give a loud yelp, then everything went blurry and her body gave way to a sudden onslaught of tiredness.

****

When Buffy woke up, she didn't feel she had the strength to open her eyes. She just lay there on her stomach, for at least a half an hour, wondering where she was. The cold in the damp, concrete floor had moved into Buffy's body and she desperately wanted to find some way to warm up. But she couldn't move, even though she didn't feel any sort of restraints. It was internal, and something was desperately wrong. It was as if all her energy had been drained from her; even breathing seemed like labor.

Listening now to distant noises, she thought she heard someone talking, but the voice sounded slurred. Briefly, she opened her eyes. It took her a while to be able to focus on anything. First thing she saw was Dawn lying diagonally from her, on the other side of the room. Her sister seemed to be in the same condition. Relief flooded her when she could at least tell she was still breathing, but then that relief quickly faded when she realized that something was sticking out of Dawn's neck. It was hard to make out due to there being hardly any light entering the cavern, but it seemed to be some kind of long, thin claw. That is when the memory of something being stabbed into her own neck came back and she knew, whatever it was, it was the key as to why she felt like this. If slayer strength was affected to this extreme, she couldn't imagine how Dawn felt.

She made a feeble attempt at calling Dawn's name, but what came out was barely audible. Looking toward the entryway, she noticed there was nobody guarding it. In fact, she thought they were completely alone, until she saw that a decapitated body lay in a near by corner. The head was nowhere to be seen.

Buffy slowly raised her hand to her neck and cleared away hair that had managed to escape her ponytail. She then pulled the embedded protrusion out with a quick jerk. Still laying on her stomach, and her vision not quite normal, she inspected it the best she could. Blood stained her fingers and she could feel the warm, wetness of the trail it made as it slowly dripped down to her collarbone. 'Maybe that wasn't such a good idea.' she thought to herself.

Dawn made a slight movement and Buffy hoped she was waking up, but after a few minutes passed, it seemed unlikely. Gathering what little strength she could muster, she tried to shimmy her way over to her sister. But before she could reach her, she was completely at loss for the energy she needed to go on. A wave of nausea ripped through her and she began to feel like she was coming down with a fever. The room seemed as if it were spinning and she had to close her eyes against this dizzying effect. Blackness crept back into her mind, and she let herself slip back into the empty place of sleep.

****

Spike ran and ran. His vampire sight led him through the endless, pitch-black passageways. Water and muck splashed up from the numerous puddles, coating his jeans. They clung to him and made his movements feel restricted. He had to find them. Buffy and Dawn were in here somewhere, and he had to find them.

At first he tried stealth mode. If something was hurting them, he didn't want to endanger them even more by giving himself away. But after a while, and no luck, he frantically began calling out their names. He didn't care what attention he brought to his presence, danger to himself mattered little to him right now.

He eventually sat on a large boulder that had jutted through a partially collapsed wall. Motionless, he listened for any indication they were around that area. Noises usually echoed quite far through the sewers, but they could also be misleading. He couldn't give up, but didn't know what he could do besides trudge on, and hope to find them.

It was then that a small ball of light whizzed by his head, and came to a stand still a few feet before him. It was gold and an intense blue orb, swirling around, until it became larger and transformed into Joyce. "Spike." Her voice was soft and had a melodious sound to it. Her face glowed even more than he thought possible. "Always looking out for my girls. I rest easier knowing I have you to trust them with," she said as she reached out and slightly touched the side of his head. Spike gave a small smile to the woman he held so much respect for. She trusted him.

Joyce turned and transformed back into the little, bright sphere. Now he heard her voice in his head, no longer having to pass through his ears, "Quick, I'll lead the way."

****

Spike lay sprawled out on the motel bed, naked, and barely covered by a blue, cotton sheet. Sweat glistened on his forehead and chest. He licked his lips to try to moisten them.

The dream had felt unbelievably real. An uneasy feeling tugged at him and he looked at the phone a few times, trying to remember if tonight was the night he was supposed to call Dawn. Pacing and flipping through channels is what he did for the next hour before going outside to smoke. The evening sky was full of stars and he wondered if Buffy was sitting on her back porch, looking at them also. The back porch, where he had last seen her. "What the fuck was I thinking?" he said out loud as he flung is cigarette down onto the tar. He put it out with the toe of his boot. 'No, I've got to give it more time.' He thought as he let out a sigh. 'She just better not as bloody well be thinking I left her for good.' A thought occurred to him and his body went still. What if she was seeing someone else now? He took a quick intake of air and let it out as, "Fuck it, I'm going home." He went to his room and grabbed his stuff, shutting the light off on the way out. He mumbled as he got into his car, "Girl has me wrapped right round her bloody finger."

 

TBC

 

Chapter 4

Alone

****

The next time Buffy woke, she felt even worse than before. She sat up and wrapped her arms around her knees, trying to regain composure. But she knew it was useless; her body shivered uncontrollably and she still felt nauseous. Her neck throbbed where she had pulled out the claw, and the area was hot to the touch.

Since darkness had settled in, she figured it must be around 9 PM, but she had no real way of telling. It could have been the next morning, for all she knew, but she guessed it was more likely the same night. It was very quiet, except for the sound of rats scurrying by, and the rhythmic sound of dripping water. 'It must be raining,' she thought, and suddenly felt very thirsty.

Buffy knew that her body still wasn't up to par, but if she was going to help Dawn, she had to act now. Her sister still had yet to wake up, and she had good reason to believe she wouldn't, unless the claw was also removed from her neck.

Slowly, Buffy made her way to her sister, and then carefully took out the poisonous tip. Dawn made a slight whimper, but still did not wake. After checking her over for any other visible injuries, Buffy then made her way over to the dead guy in the opposite corner.

She made a face as she got closer to him. The stench was over whelming, and the fact that his head was missing didn't help her already queasy stomach. He was a pretty big guy, so she figured the jacket he was wearing would at least keep Dawn's torso warm.

After the pain-staking ordeal of trying to move the body around to get the jacket off, Buffy crawled back to Dawn. She spread the jacket out, and then rolled Dawn on top of it, face up. Then she crossed her sister's arms, and zipped it up around her. Luckily, there was a hood, so she used that, knowing Dawn would lose most of her body heat through her head.

By the time she was done with that ordeal, Buffy knew she had over-exerted herself. For a while, she just sat there, with her arms crossed upon her knees, and her head resting on them. She thought about trying to find help, but she knew she couldn't make it very far in the condition she was in. Plus she didn't really want to leave Dawn. There was also the inevitability that the demons who had taken them, would be back. She found that sort of strange that they still had not shown, but then again, they probably thought their victims would stay unconscious until they decided to come for them. This was probably just one of their lairs that they kept future meals stored. 'Well,' Buffy thought, 'Guess you didn't know you were dealing with a slayer, did ya?' She tried to put some pep into her inner voice, but it didn't work.

Buffy lay down once again, and snuggled up to Dawn, hoping they could share what little warmth their bodies were still able to produce. She wondered how long it would take for Dawn to wake up, and then she thought about Tara and Willow. Were they searching for them? She hoped not, because that would only put them in danger as well. Maybe they got a hold of Xander, or even Spike...oh yeah, he wasn't around, and they didn't know how to contact him. It felt strange to realize this. So often she had taken him for granted, and most of the time, acted as if his presence during patrol was more of a nuisance than anything else.

Though the current situation caused many maladies, her heartache over Spike was felt above all else. That constant, familiar ache was ever present, and it was something she could no longer try to ignore. Since he had left, it had grown worse. She knew that the feeling in her heart was from missing him, and because of all the secrets it contained about the feeling she had for him. And now, her presently weakened state of being caused her mind to frequently summon thoughts of times they had shared, and words that had been spoken between just the two of them.

Buffy thought back to the first time they had kissed. Spike's intense, blue eyes had looked deep into hers, and she couldn't look away. She knew at that moment, he could see everything in her. The distance started to close between them, as they walked toward each other, but she didn't want to run away this time. Lost in the moment, she forgot to hide...hell, she forgot her name, because the moment their lips touched, the world went away. There was desperation and longing as they hungrily tasted each other, and it surprised her how utterly natural it felt to be in his embrace. Warm sensations awakened the cold spots that had formed in her body, and hot desire chased away any of her previous mantras of how this could never be. At that moment, she didn't give a fuck. For the first time ever, she felt literally weak in the knees, and her heart felt like it had beat for the first time since coming back from the grave.

When that long, "need to catch my breath" kiss ended, he had backed up a bit, but didn't let go of her. "Buffy," was all he could say, after a long pause passed between them. She had kinda smiled at her name; something about the way he said it sometimes, sounded so cute. She had looked at his chest, and then leaned her weary head against it to feel the vibration of his voice against her cheek, as he said he loved her. And though she wouldn't tell him so, that kiss took away any question she had as to whether he meant it. That revelation jerked her from this newfound Heaven, and she looked up apologetically before walking off. Her body felt the sudden loss of his hands and her heart twisted in retaliation, causing a tear to fall unnoticed by anyone other than herself.

It was the fact that Spike could truly love her that scared and confused her. So after that night, she demanded of herself, to never give into him again. In the end, it would only cause them both grief. She tried hard to live up to that promise to herself, but what was she to do that night when he had come up to her at the Bronze. and asked her if she still wanted him, even if he had only used his slight head-tilt and cocked eyebrow? His eyes like a puppy out in the cold, asking to be let in. Damn his way of saying something without a speaking a word. Looking away sure hadn't helped either. Couldn't fight it anymore, so she had turned to look back at him, but he was gone. Luckily the place was crowed, so he hadn't made it very far; she caught up to him as he was walking past the stairs. He had turned; able to sense she was close to him again. It didn't take any time before he was pushing her into an unoccupied space near the stairs to once again claim her lips.

After that, her dilemma only grew more complicated over time. Relentlessly, she told herself that nothing more could happen between the two of them. She told Spike he wasn't good enough for her, but in fact, she just worried she wasn't good enough. Not good enough for any sort of relationship, let alone one with him. Pushing Spike's faults aside, she actually really did like him, and knew he could make some girl happy. She just couldn't see it being her. He could just say "whatever" to the fact they were Slayer and vampire, but she couldn't let that go so easily. She didn't trust him, but she didn't trust herself either. It was easier to shove him away and avoid any pain that may come out of them being together, than to actually give in and allow the chance of everything falling through. So she brought up every reason for them not to be together.

Then it had happened, that one night when the tension between them had become too thick to think straight, and she finally gave into that ache. She had thought to herself, in between gasps of pleasure, that this would be the only time. It was just sex, nothing else. But half way through the night, she knew she knew better, and no amount of denial would keep her heart from heading in the direction it wanted. Every time his lips brushed her skin, a piece of her soul was restored. Every time he pushed himself into her, she knew they were connecting themselves in a way that would take more than fists and words to tear apart.

Buffy rolled onto her back, to give her ribs a break from the hard surface. She lay there for a while, trying to come up with a plan to get out. But it was like her mind would go blank every time she came up with something half feasible. She knew she had walked quite a long way before being taken, but she had no idea how long she had been carried. The sewer tunnels, she figured, could go on for quite a distance, and they probably connected to other tunnels. Probably some that were unmapped, knowing Sunnydale.

Besides the smell of the rotting dead guy, it didn't smell relatively bad wherever they were located. Well, not as bad as it could have. Buffy guessed they were in some kind of an unfinished, dead-end tunnel and that it was an offshoot to the main sewer line. That had her thinking; maybe she wouldn't have to go too far to find a manhole, or some other way out.

Before long, Buffy was up and slowly exploring her dim surroundings. She didn't want to go too far, because she didn't want to get lost, or have Dawn wake up without her there. Besides, being as dizzy as she was, she couldn't walk very far if she wanted to. The fear of the demons coming back, or running into a vamp, scared her. That was unusual for her, but she knew there was no way to protect herself. They were both sitting ducks.

After about a half an hour of looking around, Buffy made her way back, unlucky. Not only did she not find a way out, but also she had tripped more than once on the uneven, wet concrete beneath her, and ended up soaked in the process. Dawn was still sleeping, but moving around a bit, so she settled back down beside her once more. Her strength was completely gone now, and even her shivering exhausted her. Never had she felt so weak and vulnerable, unable to protect herself, let alone the ones she loved. . She stretched out and then went back to hugging her sister. It wasn't long until she felt herself being lulled back to sleep by the rhythmic melody of Dawn's shallow breathing, and the rainwater dripping in the cavern's entrance, and tunnel beyond.

****

Spike had been sitting in the shadows that stretched across the Summer's front lawn for about an hour and a half now. It was around 11:30, he figured, and watched the silhouettes of people moving about inside the house. None looked to be Buffy, but maybe she was out patrolling. Dawn was probably in bed.

Spike, in all his self-pride, couldn't get up the guts to just walk in the door and tell her he couldn't do it. He couldn't sit around in some other town, waiting for her to want him back. On one hand, he didn't want to fuck things up, and on the other, that was better than the non-existent interaction had had with her for the last few days.

Reaching into his coat pocket, he pulled out a ring. The flat, gold band had engraved roses that ran along the circumference of it, and in the middle was a deep, red Ruby, hugged on each side by slightly smaller diamonds. Spike held it up in the moonlight, and the gems shone with brilliant radiance. It was beautiful. How many times had he imagined Buffy's face lighting up the same way when he finally placed it on her finger? He had lost count long ago. He thought maybe tonight he would give it to her, but with the way things were going between them, he thought better of it. It was only meant for someone that could love him back; no sense in giving it to someone that would think it worthless.

It had belonged to his Grandmother, who, as a child, he had adored. He envisioned her beauty hidden beneath her laugh lines and droopy eyes; he believed her a queen of sorts. Her breast had often been a pillow to cry his tears when some harsh word was spoken his way. By the time he was entering adolescence, she had become his rock in his watery world of propriety and hierarchy. It was at this important, self-defining time in his life, that his grandfather died. At the funeral, it seemed to him that over night, she had aged beyond her years. He held her hand, trying to console the now fail woman who had always held him steadfast.

Spike took a drag on his cigarette as he turned the ring over in his hand. The last words he heard from his grandmother replayed in his head, and even though it had been over a hundred years, he could still hear her voice as plain as day. "He had come to me, one night, before we were married, and asked me to the town dance." Her eyes had lit up with remembrance. " I told him I didn't have anything to wear, but then he brought out a beautiful blue dress, from his wagon, and said he had bought if for me." A smile perked up her lips as tears streamed past them, pooling on her chin. "He said I was a vision for angels to behold, when I floated down the stairs toward him." She then pulled the ring off her finger and enclosed it in his hand, while looking into his grief stricken eyes. "He gave this to me as we danced beneath the stars, and he said we'd be together always. I loved him more than anything; he was my life. He would have done anything for me. What we had was true love, William. I know someday you will find someone to give it to. Someone you will love beyond belief."

At 13, William was a responsible boy, and he kept the ring well hidden in a safe spot. He didn't even tell his mother about it. The promise held in that ring, was something that intrigued him. He spent many nights studying it, as if it held some magical power.

Looking back on it, Spike wondered if that enchanted ring, and his grandmother's stories were what encouraged him into becoming love's bitch in the first place. He shuddered as he remembered being a child, who was always looking for approval, which he felt was closely tied with love. Instead he always felt rejected, and as a man, it became even worse. After Cecily had walked off, with her nose in the air, he had put the ring away, and light hardly touched it from that point on.

Once in a while, when he was with Dru, he would take it out when she wasn't around. Sometimes he felt like maybe he should give it to her, but something about it just didn't feel quite right. He loved her, there wasn't any question to that, but he imagined it wasn't quite the kind of love his grandmother had meant. So he kept it hidden from her, hoping she wouldn't accidentally find it one day, and be angry with him for hiding something "so pretty." He felt guilty about it, actually. But he always felt like there was something else out there for him. Being a vampire, he should have been happy and want for nothing, when he had such power, and a pretty girl by his side. But something else called to him, and it was Sunnydale. Crashing through the Sunnydale sign, and stepping out of his car to survey his new territory, he thought it was the evilness that lurked around the hellmouth that had drawn him there. But he soon learned he was wrong. Realized it the second his eyes landed on the Slayer at the Bronze, and all hell broke lose in his heart. Something about her was different. Watching how her body moved to the music, he suddenly had yearned to see her in action. From the shadows he watched her fight, and he was seduced by the challenge she provided him.

What intrigued him furthermore, was the fact that he ended up crashing the parent-teacher night, just because he couldn't be patient enough to wait to see her again. Plus, he wanted to have a little one on one action with her. She didn't disappoint either. It was the first time he came face to face with her fiery self; he knew he was in trouble.

Spike flung his fag down by his boot and ground it with the heel. He tilted his head back as he blew the smoke out between his lips, and let his eyes close for a moment. He was tired from the drive, and the sleepless days were catching up to him.

"Spike, what the hell are you doing here?" Xander's menacing voice rang out.

He jumped up to his feet, surprised that he had let himself go so unguarded. He quickly shook it off and put on his "Don't fuck with me" face.

"Wait, don't tell me, haven't gotten the whole evil stalker thing down pact yet, and your just doing your homework on the refresher course."

Willow had heard the commotion outside, and went to inspect. "Xander, glad you showed up." She turned to Spike, "What are you doing here? How did you find out?"

Xander butted in. "I was just asking him the same thing. About the whole being here part."

"Gees, sorry Harris, I didn't know I had to muster everyday to tell you my plans for the day."

Xander snorted, "Yeah, give me all the details of your plans. Drink blood, throw in a few hard drinks to forget about your unlife, and then go lurk about to watch the one girl that hasn't played, jump-the-stiff-guy with you, yet."

Spike's lack of sleep only shortened him temper. "I *wasn't* lurking!" His voice rose as he got in Xander's face. "I came her to talk to Buffy." His voice then went down to just above a whisper, "Was thinking what to say, is all."

"Ummm...guys? Buffy and Dawn are missing." Willow said.

"What?" Both guys said in unison.

"I...I tried to call you, Xander, but you never answered. You really do need to get an answering machine."

"I had to run some errands after work. Anya is gone for a few days with Hallie."

Spike, losing patience, almost growled at them. "Enough of the small talk, what the hell is going on?"

"Oh, right." Willow said, as she crinkled her eyebrows up, apologetically. "Dawn met with me for lunch, and then said she was heading over to your place, Spike. Well, when Buffy got home from work, in the early evening, Dawn still wasn't back. So she asked Tara and I to stay here while she went to look for her. They still haven't returned."

"Something's wrong." Spike said, and Willow figured if he could have gone paler at that moment, he would have. "I'm going to go find them." He turned to leave, but Xander grabbed his arm.

"Wait, I'm coming with you."

"I can do this one on my own. I don't need to be holding your hand, dragging you behind me like a woman."

"Spike, I don't like myself mixed in your fantasies."

"Ya know, I'm not going to stand around, talking about what you do and don't like. What I am going to do is go find the girls. If you want to come, fine. But I'm not saving your ass if you fall behind. I've had enough of saving your ungrateful ass." He turned on his heel, Xander close behind.

Willow yelled to them. "I'll wait here. Don't worry about us. I'll..." She stopped when she realized they were long gone.

****

TBC-

 

 

Chapter 5

A Friend's Resolve

Xander and Spike talked very little as they walked together. There was no argument that Spike's crypt was their destination, seeing that that was Dawn's last whereabouts, and where Buffy was headed to look for her. However, they also realized it was possible something could have happened to them on their way either to, or from it. So, they decided to split up and each take on separate halves of the cemetery, to make sure the area was fully covered.

With their adrenaline pumping, and senses fully alert, it didn't take long for them to meet back up at the crypt. Neither said a word as they walked toward each other; just gave a nod to indicate neither had seen anything. Spike put his ear up to the door, listening to see if anything unusual may be taking place inside. He didn't want to just jump into a situation that could involve getting the girls hurt, as a result of his hasty entrance.

Spike's eyebrow went up, and he put one of his fingers up as a sign to tell Xander to wait and be still. After listening a little more, he pulled Xander aside. "Something's going on in there. I heard some kind of growling. Didn't sound like a vamp."

Just then a noise in the opposite direction caught Spike's attention. "Someone's over there," he said as he pointed to a group of trees. They made their way over, and two vampires jumped them. The woman was only about half the size of Xander, so he figured he'd take her on. He shoved the stake he had been holding, in to his back pocket, and then quickly held up his right arm to block a kick that was aimed for his head. "Holy shit!" Xander cried, after the impact knocked him to the ground. This girl sure could stretch those legs of hers. He jumped back up, and threw a punch she easily avoided. But then he surprised her with a kick, right to the center of her stomach, which caused her to land on her back. She gave a growl as he ran over to her, stake ready. He more or less flung himself into the air, aiming at her heart, but she brought her legs up in time to push him back up and over her head.

Xander took a quick glance over at Spike, just as he staked his opponent. 'Shit, here comes the saving my ass part.' He thought to himself. Xander knew the woman was coming toward him again, from the back. He jumped up, held his right arm out straight, stake pointing backward. With feet planted firmly in place, he twisted his upper torso, and then hoped this would be his lucky night. The resistance of her flesh, met up with the tip of the stake, then he heard her go "poof". "Yes!" he said as he fully turned around, to watch her ashes falling toward the ground.

"Well, well." Spike's voice came. "What have we here? Finally don't have to help you, huh, Harris? And look, you didn't even wet yourself." Spike cut the sarcasm out of his voice for a second. "Good job."

What was this? Praise from Spike? Xander stood up taller. Spike started to walk away, but slightly turned his head while doing so, so that he could have one last word. Couldn't ruin his rep with the boy. "Even if it was a girl. Small one at that." Xander scowled and started to protest, but Spike shot him a look that told him to shut up. They were going back to the crypt.

Once there, Spike whispered, "On the count of three, I'm kicking the door in. It sounded like there was only one occupant, but the girls could be tied and gagged in there for all we know." Spike leaned his head against the door. The growling had stopped, but he heard a couple things thump against the wall, followed by glass shattering.

"When the door opens, I'm going for whatever is making the racket in there. You get the girls," Spike said.

Spike counted by putting his fingers up, and then did a side kick to the door. They both rushed in, with Spike in front. Xander's eyes darted around looking for the girls, but all he ended up seeing was Spike looking menacingly at Clem, who was half on the couch and half on the floor. Clem's voice broke as he talked, "I'm sorry Spike. I'll pick it up. Really." Spike backed off, his face now showing a bit of relief, mixed with puzzlement. Scattered around the couch were broken candles and a drinking glass. Clem was now on his hands and knees picking the pieces up, talking as he went. "I didn't know you were back...I ummm...couldn't get the TV to come in. Missing my favorite show." He looked up at Spike expectantly, thinking he would be the one to understand how tragic that was.

Xander had to ask. "So you got all growly and started throwing stuff?"

Clem placed the candles back up on a stone shelf, before turning back toward them. "Yeah, well..." Clem looked around, uncomfortable. "Do you think you could pick up the glass? If that stuff gets lost in-between my folds, I may not know for days. That's kind of risky, ya know?"

Spike couldn't believe Clem had such a temper. It almost got him to laugh, but the girls weighed heavy on his mind. "Have you seen Dawn or Buffy?"

Clem's ears visibly stopped shaking, glad for a turn in the conversation. "Ah, yeah, sure, the Slayer. Met up with her this evening. She was looking for Dawn. Told her I saw Dawn, and that she had gone back here to get something."

Spike was happy to get some kind of lead. "Ok. So you talked to Dawn? Did anything sound suspicious?"

"Well, let me think." Clem scratched his side. "Nope, nothing out of the norm. Except that she mentioned picking your place up for you, and that isn't normal of a teenager. At least that's what I've heard."

Spike looked around. The place was quite tidy. "So last you knew, Dawn was coming back here, and after talking with Buffy, she was headed here, also?"

Clem was back to fidgeting with the TV. "Huh? Oh, yes, back here."

"Bloody Hell, Clem. This is important!" He grabbed the rabbit ears away from him. "Since you have been back here, you haven't heard anything from them?"

Clem let out a sigh and sat back down. "One of my poker friends saw Buffy being taken by a demon. He remembered her from that poker game you brought her to." Clem watched Spike to see if there was any indication he remembered that night, but Spike just stood still as a rock. "Anywho, he was on his way over here through the sewers, when he saw it happen. Said where it happened was pretty far back. Thought if he brought her bag back that got left behind, then at least if I ever saw her again, I could give it to her."

Spike could hardly hold himself still. He wanted to throttle Clem. "You couldn't have told me that part first?" Spike paced back and forth a couple of times, his left hand holding his forehead. "Did he say what kind of demon?"

"Yes, it was of the Paricee variety. There are three different types, but this one was of the worst kind. It is over six feet tall, has acidic blood, and also has a duel claw that detaches itself in its victim's neck. Knocks 'em right out. That way they can leave them where they want, until they are ready to eat. Usually they start with the he-"

Xander was dumbfounded and cut him off. "You didn't go try to find her?"

Clem looked down at the floor, while itching behind his ear. "I couldn't do anything if I did find them. They really like my kind for snacks. Besides, my show was on." Clem looked up at Spike. "Plus, couldn't risk having someone come in here and steal my winnings." It wasn't until then that Spike and Xander heard all the mewing.

Spike walked over to the weapons bag, and searched through it for a flashlight, at the same time talking to Clem. "Go over to Buffy's house and tell Willow about what happened to her. I'm thinking the same thing must have happened to Dawn." Spike turned around, flashlight on and poised in his hand. He had to make sure Clem was paying attention. "Tell them about the demon, and tell them not to leave the house. We are going in to search the tunnels for them." Spike softened up a bit. "If you do that, I'm sure they will let you watch their TV, and they have cable."

It took no time for Clem to get out the door.

****

It was raining harder now, than when they had left the house. The tunnels were quite wet, more so than usual, with steady streams flowing down the middle. These conditions hindered their attempt at following footprints, and they had to walk slower than they wanted.

"Spike, we've been walking for half an hour now, and we have no idea if we are even heading in the right direction."

Spike stayed silent, studying the ground that passed by as he walked. The lack of response bugged Xander. "Come on, there has to be some other way. Can't we find someone that kno-"

Spike suddenly stopped and picked something up. He held it up to his nose, and sniffed.

Xander was curious. "What is it?"

"Hair," he said, and then looked up at Xander, who had come to stand to his left. "Buffy's hair."

Xander scrunched up his face, and looked at him like he was crazy. "You mean to tell me you can smell one strand of hair, and know it's Buffy's?"

"Yes, it's hers," Spike said in a matter-of-fact tone. "We are going the right way. This has to be where Clem's friend saw her."

"Spike, you have gone beyond scaring me."

"Scares me, too."

"I mean that you know her that well." Xander took a second to study the vampire's face.

Spike looked around, only half pretending to be distracted by his surroundings. "We better get a move on. No telling where they are now."

****

The vampire and his unlikely companion walked until the tunnel forked again. Both sat down, resting their backs on the wall, where the opposite tunnels formed a junction. Neither could decide what way to go, and their compatibility was dwindling fast.

"Can't you find another hair, or something?"

Spike let out a sound that let it be known that Xander was bugging him. After the moment of silence that followed, he tossed the flashlight to the pouting git across from him. "There, why don't you see if you can do any better?" Spike stood up and paced for a while, then walked closer to Xander. "On second thought, if Buffy knew I just handed her fate off to Nancy Boy Drew here, she'd stake me."

Xander stood up. "All the more reason."

"You'd like to see that, wouldn't you? Boy can't take competition around, cause then he's stuck in the shadows."

"Ahhh, wrong, you are the one in the shadows, Spike. And I'm *not* a boy, so knock it off."

Spike snickered and stuck his hands in his front pockets, slightly leaning back. "Ohhhh, hit a sore spot did I?"

"You know, you are really pissing me off."

"Well, as much fun as it is to piss you off, I'm more concerned with the current situation, then I am about kissing your boo boos."

Xander, for once, decided to let this annoying fly just buzz, and step up to what was really important. And hating to admit it, he was on Spike's side. "How about we split up. You can see alright down here, and..."

Spike rolled his eyes. "First thought that should have come to that bloody, brilliant brain of yours- you in the dark, alone, with evil lurking about."

"Oh, yeah. Right."

Spike patted him on the back. "Actually, it sounds like a good idea, don't let me stop you."

Xander gave Spike a nudge to push him away a bit. The two of them started walking together again, not caring what direction they were heading now.

"Why are you doing this, Spike? What's in it for you? Cause I'd think by now, you'd realize Buffy is never going to have any sort of relationship with you."

Spike mumbled under his breath, mostly to himself, "Believe me, I know it'll be little in the way of gratitude. Slayer never had much use for me, except for-" Spike had to bite his tongue to keep from finishing. Then he talked a little louder, but kept his sight on the appending darkness up ahead. "I care about the two of them, whether you want to believe that, or not. But I do, and I'd do anything to keep them safe."

It was Xander's turn to hold his tongue. His mind thought of many ways to tell Spike he had no chance in hell of ever winning Buffy over. But, for some odd reason, he did believe Spike. That sudden realization caught him off guard, and his mouth spoke as if on it's own accord, "I know."

Spike stopped walking and tilted his head, as if confused, and then he looked at Xander. He waited, his face expressionless. Thought the comment would be followed with some kind of joke. But it never came.

A small whimper was heard by the both of them, and so they soon forgot the awkwardness that had just passed between them. Instead, they ran toward the sound. Spike picked up pace. "It's Dawn," he said over his shoulder.

Xander tried to keep up with him. He tried to make the flashlight's beam go further, but he guessed Spike's vision could see beyond its limits.

Dawn was huddled into a ball, with the huge jacket encasing her, down to her feet. Spike knelt down beside her. "Dawn." Spike said, a little worried that she was so unresponsive. Dawn looked up just as Xander made it to them, out of breath. He was at her other side, rubbing her back.

Dawn gave a slight smile. "Hey, it's you. So glad."

Spike looked back toward the darkness, and then back at Dawn. "Where is Buffy?"

Dawn leaned on Xander. "I'm tired. It's not out of my system yet. And I'm thirsty. Do you have any water with you?"

Xander saw the mark on her neck and gave Spike a worried glance. "Where is Buffy?"

Dawn tried standing, but ended up mostly cradled by Xander's arms. "Some kind of demon. It put something in our necks...Buffy took mine out while I was asleep."

Spike held her hand. "It's ok, Bit. We've got you now." He swallowed hard. "So, Buffy is ok?"

She picked her head up and looked at Spike. "She had the same thing, but got it out on her own. I think she's really sick though. She threw up a couple of times, and said she was dizzy. But I didn't get to talk to her for very long before she was taken away. I was still mostly asleep...fading in and out." Dawn sounded like she was on the brink of crying. " I only heard Buffy moving around, and saying stuff, but I couldn't get myself to wake up enough to help. Last thing I heard was her saying, "No, Warren. What are you doing?" Then I didn't hear anything. I fell back to sleep I think. I don't know if it was just for a few minutes, or an hour, or what. But when I did come to, I knew I had to try to get home, and get some help."

Spike put his hands over his bowed head for a minute, and then sighed as he moved them away and placed them on her shoulders. "You did good," he said, as he looked into her eyes. Then he stood up and helped the both of them up at the same time. "Do you know about how long you've been walking?"

Dawn moaned a little, like it was a bother to think, but he knew she wanted to help. "I guess for about fifteen minutes. I was really slow though, because I couldn't see anything really; but it was strait all the way, so you should come across where we were, soon."

"Xander, bring her home." Xander was about to say something, but then Spike interrupted as soon as something crossed his mind. "No, bring her to the hospital. We are only about a block from it. I go to the hospital via this route sometimes. No need of you carrying her all the way home, just to run into something without me around. Probably best to get her checked out, anyhow." He ran his fingers through his hair. "Back where the tunnel splits is a ladder. Think you can carry her up that?"

Xander bent his knees, and then swooped Dawn up into his arms. "No prob. What about Buffy? How-"

Spike was getting agitated by the second. Not because of Xander, really. Just because he wanted to get going, and find Buffy. "I'll find her. You can hold me to that. Now go."

Xander gave a nod, and then took off in the opposite direction of Spike.

****

 

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