Buffy wetted her lips and thought about her answer looking into the kind blue eyes of her Watcher, father figure and friend but before she could answer Spike stirred on the floor. He moaned her name and she ran over and crouched next to him taking his hand.

She looked up at Giles "You said he would be out for three hours"

"Clearly, the venom is too strong" Giles walked over and stood on the other side of Spike.

"Giles, how long will it take for him to...you know?" She asked worriedly running her thumb up and down the back of his hand.

Giles walked back over to the book and scanned it "It says...depending on the species two days at worse, a week at best"

"And how long does it take for vampires?"

"It doesn’t say, Buffy"

"Buff..." Spike licked his lips looked up groggily into her eyes "What’s goin’...on?"

She flicked her eyes to Giles who shrugged before she looked back down at Spike "Nothing, nothing. You just need to rest" Buffy stroked her fingers across his hairline.

His eyes closed and opened "Okay..."

"Giles, I’m...I’m taking Spike upstairs," She told him pulling the vampire into a sitting position and then Giles crouched down and helped.

The two of them propped Spike up underneath his arms and then they dragged him through the cottage and steadily up the stairs to Buffy’s bedroom. Spike groaned in pain and exhaustion as his chest flared with pain and the two of them carried him over and laid him down on the bed. Buffy saw he was unconscious again. She sighed, ran a hand through her hair and sat down on the bed next to him. She started to go to pull his boots off when she saw he wasn’t wearing them and remembered he had left them by the lake. Her bed was getting a little wet from the water that he was still covered in but she really didn’t care.

Giles began to pace "You’ll have to tell him, Buffy. If he is...if he has moments of sound mind he deserves to know what is happening"

"I know, Giles, I know" She closed her eyes and took a deep breath "It’s just...how am I suppose to tell him this? You remember how I freaked when you said I was gonna get an aspect of a demon back in high school! And I ended up with a cool, slightly insane-making, telepathic power. He’s gonna actually become a demon"

"He’s already a demon," Giles said coldly then off her hard look added, "I was turned into a Fyarl demon, do you recall? I know how he is going to feel but that doesn’t detract from the fact that he has to know. If I had had the choice I would have wanted to know beforehand"

"Even if you knew there was nothing you could do about it?" Buffy asked.

He took a long moment "We’ll talk about this tomorrow. We will research tonight and if there is a cure we will find it, Buffy"

"Thanks Giles," She said and really meant it "But, can you get Will and Xand to help? I just think I should stay here, make sure he’s alright"

Giles looked dubious "Buffy...I doubt he will awaken again tonight, and his transformation shouldn’t really start till tomorrow"

"I still have to be here, Giles. I have to. Incase...incase..."

"Incase, what?"

"Incase he needs me" The Slayer stood "Please, get everybody on this. I’ll stay here and as soon as you find anything tell me"

He paused then nodded slowly "Of course. If you need anything I’ll be in the main cottage. Oh and...Buffy?" Giles was almost out of the door when he stopped and looked back "Try...try not to think too much about it"

He turned and left and she heard his footsteps down the stairs and then as he left she heard him crunching across the gravel back to the main house. She sat back down on the bed and looked at Spike, lying there shirtless, poisoned and unconscious and she wanted to scream. She wanted to kill the demon that had done this to him but Spike had already done that job. Buffy stood again and pulled the covers out from underneath the vampire to pull them back up over him.

She walked to the window and looked out at the dark English sky and clenched her fists. Buffy could not believe this was happening to Spike because some demon skank had been having a dry spell and wanted to mate with him. Slut Buffy thought to herself then laughed bitterly, God it was just too surreal. There were heavy dark clouds out in the sky now as if to match her mood and the Slayer turned away and pulled the curtains shut not wanting to look anymore and so Spike would be safe when the sun came up tomorrow morning. She glanced down at his almost glowing white skin in the darkness. Buffy decided she should go downstairs and fix the door or something so that the cold English weather wouldn’t completely destroy her cottage.

That was before he spoke.

"Buffy," His voice was raspy and she jumped because she had not been expecting it.

She turned back and walked over to the bed, sat down on the side of it and took his hand. To her surprise he wrenched her forward and caught her, wrapping his arms around her waist, against his chest.

She braced her hands against his chest and pulled away enough to look into his eyes "Spike? What are you doing?"

"Honestly? I...I have no idea" He groaned and closed his eyes falling back down the bed asleep again.

Buffy extricated herself from his now limp grasp and sat up straight looking down at him with worry and confusion on her face. What was going to happen to him mentally if he turned into this water-feral thingy? She didn’t want Spike to change into some feral, evil monster. She hadn’t liked him when he had been that in the first place. Buffy just hated to think of all those years of progress he had made being wasted because a woman demon got horny. It was just embarrassing. And scary as hell.

"I take it you didn’t find anything?"

The Slayer rubbed the bridge of her nose as she looked up at Giles when he entered the bedroom. She was sitting on the end of the bed as Spike still slumbered soundly as if he didn’t have a care in the world. Her Watcher gave her a grave expression that wordlessly answered her question. Buffy let out a long sigh and looked back down at the vampire, one of his arms was thrown across his face and the other one was extended above his head and he looked just like an innocent child having a dream.

Giles closed the bedroom door and walked up closer to her "Buffy, I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before we find something. I’ve had Willow up all night on the Internet and Xander has fixed your door downstairs before he went off to work. Dawn wanted to stay home from school but I thought it best she went and Andrew...well he’s as exasperating as ever, he wanted to make Spike a fruit and muffin basket to ‘get well soon!" He grunted.

"But nothing?"

"No, not yet" He ran a hand through his hair "Perhaps you should take a break – get some sleep, have a shower and something to eat?"

"I can’t"

"I had a feeling you would say that, so I brought this with me" Giles opened the door again and pulled out a large basket and held it out to her sheepishly "Courtesy of Andrew"

Buffy smiled slightly taking the basket and nabbing one of the muffins, taking a bite "Thanks, Giles. You know, at least he’s...at least he’s not in pain. I mean he hasn’t woken up much at all since...it happened"

He nodded "Yes, I suppose it’s good to know, if worse comes to worse"

"Somehow I’m still not comforted" She bowed her head and closed her eyes.

"That is understandable," Giles said comfortingly "Buffy, I just want to say that I’m sorry about our...discussion yesterday. It was wholly inappropriate considering the circumstances"

She looked up again at him "But you still believe I should just keep my distance from him"

"Yes"

"Giles..."

He put a hand up "I will get back to researching. If you feel you do want to rest I will have Andrew relieve you of your watch"

"I couldn’t do that to Spike," Buffy smiled wryly "He’d kill himself if he found out I’d left Andrew with him as his only company"

Giles gave her a soft smile and then nodded at her and turned on his heel leaving the bedroom just in time to miss Spike stirring. The Slayer stood and then walked up to the head of the bed and sat down next to him, she stroked her fingertips up and down his temple. Spike groaned and snuggled into her hand.

Buffy looked down at him as his eyelids flickered and his cold hand trailed down the bed to rest on her thigh. She felt his hand run down to her knee and then back up and she couldn’t help but feel her spine straighten making her rigid. To be fair her reaction was justified because Spike hadn’t touched her in any sort of way other than being friendly since he had gotten his soul back. Unless she counted what had happened back at the lake but this was different because this kind of touch was unplanned yet comfortable. It was as if he was her boyfriend who was familiar with how she liked him to show affection for her. When they had been lovers it had never been about affection, though.

"Spike, hey," Buffy hesitantly put her hand on top of his that was on her leg "Are you awake?"

He cleared his throat "It...it bloody feels like it" He let out a long groan.

"Does it hurt a lot?"

"Nope, it more sort of...tingles" Spike opened his eyes fully and looked up at her "What...what’s happenin’, Buffy?"

She looked down at him "Something bad"

"I figured. When isn’t something bad happening to you or me or both of us? I think the...I think the sodding Powers That Be are tryin’ to tell us something, luv" He croaked.

Buffy remembered her earlier thoughts but pressed him anyway "What’d you mean?"

"I think they want us to keep apart, I think we must be like electricity and water - mix us together and something goes boom" Spike laughed a little but it sounded bitter "Some people are made for each other, tailor fit but we...we are like a little bloody kid with two pieces of a different jigsaw puzzle who keeps trying to ram them together but the little whelp can’t get it through his thick head that they don’t fit"

"Very philosophical" She said jokingly but inside her emotions were running high.

He closed his eyes briefly then opened them again "Ever thought that maybe...that maybe we are meant to stay away from each other?"

"It’s funny, I never thought you would be one to let anything other than you shape your destiny" She looked down at him "I thought you didn’t live by the rules, Spike?"

"I’m gettin’ old, Buffy. Maybe it’s time to settle down with a nice pair of slippers and a smoking jacket and just let society win" Spike sighed.

Buffy grinned "I can’t see you in slippers"

He chuckled but did not say anymore instead he lifted his other hand and place it on top of hers making Buffy feel like her hand was in a Spike hand sandwich. The Slayer carefully removed her hand from in-between his two hands. Spike looked up at her and she looked down at him and then something changed in his eyes.

Suddenly he sat up fluidly no sign of his earlier lethargic state. Buffy’s surprise deepened when he grabbed her arms with his hands and leaned in viper-quick nestling his face in the junction of her neck and shoulder. Buffy instantly tensed because Spike was still a vampire and he was probably not in his right mind.

"Spike?" She breathed.

It was then she realized that as she listened hard that he was sniffing her. Buffy grabbed his face with her hands and pulled it away from her to look into his eyes, she saw that his pupils were dilating rapidly.

"What are you doing?" The Slayer asked looking at him with a stunned expression on her face.

"Your scent...it’s delectable" He gave her a devilish grin she had not seen on him for a long while.

She frowned but felt herself blush "What? What’s gotten into you?"

"You tell me" Spike whispered hoarsely and kissed her hard.

Buffy jerked back from the crush of lips in surprise and she scrambled backward and up so she was standing looking down at him kneeling on the bed now. The Slayer knew as soon as she saw his eyes that Spike wasn’t in his right mind.

She took a step back and Spike jumped up into a crouched position like a tiger ready to pounce. He watched her with hungry eyes and they did not stray from her as she slowly walked backward and to the left towards the door. His fists clenched her cobalt blue sheets and she had time to think that they matched the color of his eyes.

The Slayer held her hands out to him "Spike, I’d prefer it if you didn’t look at me like that"

"Like what?" His voice was hushed and smooth.

"Like you want to wash me down with a nice Chianti"

Spike let out a low, slightly menacing sounding chuckle and she had heard him laugh like that in the past when he had been her enemy "I don’t want to eat you, ducks"

"That’s good to know"

"I want to do somethin’ much more fun" His eyes flashed and Buffy backed up quickly her back hitting the door.

Buffy let her hand slide across the door to the handle but Spike was up in a flash pinning her to the door and holding her hands up above her head. Their chests were pressed together as were their thighs and his face was so close to hers the tips of their noses were brushing. If he had needed to breathe she would have felt his breath on her face.

The Slayer could take Spike in a fight if it came down to it and she knew that but she really didn’t want to hurt him because she knew it wasn’t him that was acting this way. However, if worse came to worse she would have to smack him down if he needed it.

Buffy looked into his eyes "Don’t be an idiot, Spike"

"That’s all I’ve ever been" Spike smiled.

"No, no you’re not stupid" She whispered and tried to ignore their close proximity and the way it made her heart beat way too fast "And you can fight this...please, fight this. You came back for a reason"

"Yeah, so I could have you one last time" He grinned, licked his lips.

"No. You came back because you are needed, you are...you’re wanted"

His eyes flashed "So, I am wanted? That’s good" He arched his hips into hers and she felt her eyes widen.

"I didn’t mean like that" She turned her face away from his as he leaned in to kiss her and instead he settled for licking a wet line down her jawbone "You have to fight the poison, Spike"

Spike just grunted and began to nuzzle her neck and she tensed even more but it wasn’t just because he was a vampire it was because it felt good. Suddenly Buffy was propelled into him as the door at her back was opened and knocked into her. They both ended up sprawled in a heap on the bed with Buffy on top.

"Oh!" A voice at the door "Sorry to interrupt"

They both turned to look but he still didn’t let go of her arms. Willow stood in the doorway looking like she was trying very hard to keep a neutral face. Buffy tried to pull herself free of Spike discreetly but he would not let go.

Willow gave a flustered smile "I’ll come back later..."

"Willow –" Buffy started.

"No, don’t go, Red" Spike let go of Buffy and she fell to the bed a little disorientated as he rose fluidly and crossed over to her friend "Come in, join us"

Willow’s eyes flickered over his shoulder to Buffy "Uh, Buffy...?"

"It’s the poison, go Willow!" Buffy yelled and got off the bed.

The witch hesitated and in that moment Spike was on her and had grabbed her around the waist and rammed her backward against the door closing it again and pinning Willow in much the same way he had done to Buffy earlier. Willow let out a small, sharp shriek and grabbed at Spike’s shoulders as he buried his face in her hair and neck just like he had done to Buffy.

"You all smell so good" He groaned.

Buffy grabbed him from behind and wrenched him off of Willow throwing him back down on the bed. She turned and stood next to Willow and put a comforting hand on her arm. Spike shook his head as if dazed. He blinked and rubbed at his eyes as if not quite believing what he was seeing.

"Buffy?" He looked at her, afraid.

"Spike?" She narrowed her eyes; suspicious "Are you...you?"

The vampire frowned "Who else would I be?"

Buffy let out a deep breath and turned to Willow "It is the poison making him act this way, isn’t it?"

"I...I..." Willow was still a little shaken but then she took a breath "It makes sense. His specific purpose was to mate with the female water feral demon, right? So, I guess it makes him..."

"Want to bang everything in sight?"

"Everything female at least," Willow nodded "Looks like"

Spike stood slowly drawing their attention back to him "What the hell are you talking about?"

Buffy let out a long, deep breath and knew she would have to tell him now. She turned to Willow and gave her a look; the witch nodded and left but only after Buffy assured her that she could handle him. Then the Slayer closed the door behind the redhead and turned to Spike who was looking at her impatient and a little fearful. He knew it wasn’t good news, it never was.

She took his hand and sat them both down on the end of the bed slowly and carefully and then turned to look at him and his anxiety was palpable.

"Remember down by the lake?" Buffy said softly.

"How could I forget," Spike smiled gently and looked at her.

She felt the heat in her cheeks and let out a long breath "No, I mean...the demon"

"Oh" Spike nodded "The one I killed?"

"Yeah. Well, it turns out that that spine it stuck in you is making you...change" She looked into his blue eyes.

He took a moment "Change"

"Into a..."

"Into what?"

"Into a demon"

Spike let out a low chuckle, looked down at the bedspread "I'm already a demon, Buffy"

The Slayer looked at him as he mimicked the sentiments that Giles had told her last night and she shook her head, closed her eyes and let out a long, deep breath "Well, this is a completely

different kind of cookie"

"So, what...I'm changing into a water feral demon?"

"That's the gist"

"And...and..." His voice started to quaver so he cleared his throat, sat up straighter "So, this means I'm gonna, what, try and shag every girl in the area?"

Buffy shook her head and shifted a little closer to him, squeezed his hand "No. No. We'll figure out a way to stop the change"

"But till then I'm a danger to you" Spike looked up, his eyes were shining with water "I don't want to try and do...that to you again"

"Spike, don't think like that"

"You should go" He pulled his hand roughly away from her and stood, taking steps away from her with a serious look on his face "I mean it, Buffy"

She stood slowly, her eyes not leaving his "This is my house, Spike. I'm not going anywhere"

"Fine! I'll go then, get out of town before I hurt someone" He started towards the door.

Buffy made it to the door before him and folded her arms over her chest giving him a hard look that matched her mood "You can't leave. We need to cure you"

He tilted his head, his own hard look now on his face "You found anything to reverse it?"

"Not yet"

"Not ever, you mean," Spike sighed throwing his arms out "I've heard of this before, you know. Humans getting turned into demons and there never was a cure, it's no different in this case"

"Yes," Buffy said firmly "it is"

"How's that then?"

"The other people didn't have us working to save them" She said "And, besides, you know what happened to Giles and that turned out okay"

Spike let out a grunt of frustration "That was a bloody spell! A different cup of tea, luv. Look, I have to go or I'll just end up hurting you"

"You'll hurt me if you leave" She said softly, almost a whisper but she knew he heard it.

He took one step toward her then stopped; stood swaying a little "I don't want to end up attacking you again, Buffy"

"I won't let you. I can take care of myself, you know that"

"Yeah. I know that. Doesn't make me feel any better though"

Buffy motioned to the bed "You should rest"

"That's your bed" He replied "I...I'm meant to be sleeping on the couch"

She smiled at the sweetness of him "Spike, I really think a bed is the best place to rest in this case"

Spike folded his arms over his chest uneasily "Giles and...and Willow...and Xander...Dawn...they'd all clobber me to death if I slept here"

"No they won't. You slept here last night and you're still walking"

"That's because I was practically unconscious," He took a step back from her "They...they won't want me here if I'm up and about and attacking you and Willow"

Buffy took steps toward him and he backed up as she did so, his back hitting the wall till he could back up no more "This is my cottage. I can have guests here. I'm an adult and I am aloud to have boys around to stay over, Spikey" She smiled wryly "Giles isn't my father"

"Yeah, well...I'm hardly a boy" Spike snorted looking off to the side and not into her eyes because she was standing so close "And whatever you say 'bout him, Giles is still gonna disapprove"

She shrugged "So? Since when have you cared what Giles thought? He disapproved when I slept in the basement with you back when the Potentials had invaded my house and he disapproved of how I felt about you...Spike, he tried to have you killed because he thought you were leading me away from the mission. That didn't make you keep your distance from me, why should this?"

"I don't want to keep my distance but I'm a danger to you, so maybe I should keep my distance"

"No"

"I don't get a say in this?"

"No"

Spike shook his head and let out a long breath "You are one bossy dame, Summers"

"That's how you like me" Buffy looked at him suggestively then took a step back "We will find a cure for this thing, Spike, and then once you're back to your old self we can...spend some...time together"

He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed lightly, looked at her "What will we do when we...spend time?"

Buffy saw that he needed reassurance that this was going to be okay, that he was going to be okay. She smiled and walked over sitting next to him on the bed but not too close just a friendly distance.

"We can do whatever you want," She said softly "There must be something you missed about England"

Spike shrugged slowly "I did...I do kind of want to see London again but that's...it's too far"

"No, no it's not. We can catch a train and make a day of it...or a night of it"

"Like in L.A? Goin' to clubs?" He asked eyes hopeful but still guarded.

Buffy nodded "Yeah. Except this time without the whole 'me getting kidnapped and becoming a tasty beverage for vampires' deal. We can do some dancing, some..."

"Romancing?" Spike smiled jokingly.

"Uh..." She shifted uncomfortably on the bed.

Spike's face turned serious again and he leaned across to her "I was jokin', Buffy"

"I know" She smiled softly "But it's not funny"

He shrugged "Well, you either laugh 'bout these sorts of things or you cry 'bout them"

"So, we laugh?"

"Well, I've done enough crying over you over the years I don't fancy embarrassing myself any more than I have to"

Buffy looked at him "You're the only man I have ever seen cry"

"Yeah, rub it in won't you?" Spike turned and looked at the door away from her.

"No, I...I meant that in a good way" She put her hand tentatively on his shoulder "You're the only guy that has ever been completely honest about the way he feels and that...that means something to me"

He looked at her almost shyly "Yeah, well..."

"You should get some sleep," Buffy said letting him off the hook.

"Yeah, changing species is tiring work"

He looked down at himself as if for the first time and realized he was only in his jeans and nothing else. Spike looked up at Buffy and she stood from the bed and took a step back making it clear that she would not crowd him. Spike looked up at her and shook his head then he opened his mouth to say something but closed it.

"What is it, Spike?"

"I was goin' to ask if you'd stay with me but...but that's not a good idea considering" He scratched the back of his head as a nervous gesture.

Buffy smiled gently and kicked off her boots then she walked over to her wardrobe and pulled out her pajamas glancing over her shoulder at Spike who turned away as he realized he shouldn't be watching her. She slipped her clothes off and pulled the nightwear on which was a pair of flannel drawstring pants and a loose white T-shirt. The Slayer walked past him and then into the bathroom to do her business and tie her hair up in a band.

When she entered the room again she found Spike had not moved from his previous position and she walked over to stand in front of him.

"Maybe we shouldn't," The vampire squirmed a little "Kind of like throwing wood on the fire, luv"

The Slayer looked down at him "I'm tired. I haven't slept all night and you need to rest. Seems logical to me. Besides, if you try anything I'll just knock you unconscious"

"Sounds like a plan" Spike smiled at her gratefully.

There was a light knock at the door and they both turned to it then Buffy called for whoever it was to come in. The door swung open slowly and Giles stood in the doorway. He took in the scene very quickly – Buffy in her nightwear, Spike half-naked and sitting on the bed. Her Watcher folded his arms and let out a longsuffering sigh.

"Did you find something?" The Slayer asked hopefully.

He gave her a quick shake of his head "No. I see you're taking my advice about getting some rest. This isn't exactly what I had in mind though, Buffy"

"Sorry to disappoint"

"He's right, Buffy, maybe this wasn't such a good –" Spike started.

Buffy put her hand up to silence him but kept her eyes on Giles "I'm tired and I need to look after Spike this is the best way to do both"

"I wouldn't consider this the best way," Giles countered "Especially after what I just heard from Willow"

The Slayer shifted uneasily from both feet "I can take care of that if it happens again. I'll...I'm the Slayer, a Slayer, I can stop him from..."

"If you think this is what you must do I will not stand in your way," He rubbed the bridge of his nose wearily "Just...just make sure that you call for us if anything should go...awry"

Buffy gave him a brisk nod "I will. Keep working on it, please?"

"Of course" Giles gave a small smile then turned and shot Spike a warning glare.

The Watcher turned and left and Spike turned to the Slayer and lifted his eyebrows. Buffy shrugged and then started to work the cricks out of her neck. Spike turned to the bedside table and opened the draw pulling out a stake and holding it out to Buffy.

"What am I supposed to do with that? 'Cos if you've developed some kind of kinky –" The Slayer started lighthearted.

"Stake me. If I do anything...just do it" Spike still held it out to her.

Buffy looked into his eyes "Okay" She took the stake and held it firmly in her hands.

Spike nodded as if satisfied and then he cleared his throat awkwardly as he slid into the bed first under the cobalt sheets that still reminded the Slayer of Spike's own eyes. Buffy crawled into the bed after him and lay down pulling the sheets over herself. It was still daylight outside and that may mean she could find it difficult to sleep. She was soon proved wrong as she dozed off as if she didn't have a care in the world.

Willow was worried. Anyone who knew her would be able to see this from a mile off. She had the crinkled forehead, the dipped eyebrows, and the intense stare – the whole shebang. Willow was sitting in the living room of Giles’ house staring at a dead body. The corpse of the water-feral demon. Giles and Xander had recovered it from the lake as they thought its body might secrete anti-venom. Well, actually, Giles had thought that...Xander had just grumbled about having to go to work smelling all fishy.

If the corpse did have some kind of natural counter-venom stuff then Willow hadn’t found it. However she wasn’t on best form. Spike attacking her a few hours ago had really shaken her up. Just when they were all starting to think a little better of him. Willow knew it wasn’t his fault, it was the poison in him and that he couldn’t really be held accountable. Her brain told her this but her emotions told her that Spike was still a vampire and still capable of hurting people.

It made her nervous for Buffy. Her friend was over in the cottage with Spike not in his most friendly persona and she could be getting attacked right now. Willow knew Buffy could take care herself but she was still slightly wigged.

Focus Rosenberg She told herself as she looked down at the body. The demon was strange that was for sure. Its body shape was essentially human – two arms, two legs, a torso, a head etc. It even had long, white colored hair that dusted its lower back. The differences were that the body was blue. A light, sky blue that would have been almost pretty under other circumstances. The skin also had a slightly oil consistency to it, she assumed so that it was more streamlined in the water. It had gill slits either side of its neck and it’s sides. The only other really fish type thing about it was the webbing between it’s fingers and toes. The demon had blue eyes. Completely blue with no whites – it was a dark blue that contrasted with its light blue skin. There were no scales, no fins. Willow was kind of disappointed by that. Until she remembered Spike was changing into one of them.

The witch picked up the right arm of the prone demon and turned it over so that she could too the underside of it. There at the base of the hand, in the wrist, was a small hole. This was where the quill had come from that had struck Spike. If the cure was in the dead body it would be somewhere here. Willow bit her lip and picked up a handy scalpel. Good thing Giles collected medical instruments...she didn’t want to think too much about that.

She cut into the wrist vertically all the way down to the crook of the elbow. Dark blue blood seeped to the surface but did not pump out due to the lack of circulation. Willow set the scalpel down on the table and then she pulled on some rubber gloves, also courtesy of Giles’ weird habits, and used a pair of tongs to separate the skin. It was kind of like a heart bypass operation...only on the wrist...and on a demon.

Willow frowned at the inner workings of the demon’s arm. There were three quills stored in this arm one after the other. Willow picked up the scalpel again and gently prodded the front spine. She jumped and yelped as it shot out of the arm and into the cushion next to her on the chair. Willow’s eyes widened and she put the demon’s arm down carefully. The demon was laying on the coffee table so its arm flopped over the side very ungraciously.

She picked up her tongs again and pulled the quill from the cushion. It dripped black poison on the rug. Giles would kill her. Willow pushed that to the back of her mind as she picked up a small bottle and let all of the poison in the quill drop down into it. When she was sure she had gotten every last drop Willow disposed of the quill and capped the bottle with the poison on it.

The redhead looked at the bottle of murky liquid and the frowned and asked aloud suddenly "Since when did I get stuck with the gross jobs?"

Of course no one answered because no one was around. Willow sighed and walked into the kitchen peeling off the rubber gloves and throwing them in the bin. She washed her hands and made her herself a cup of tea. Looking out of the back window she could see Buffy’s cottage. The curtains of the bedroom were closed.

Willow thought about the whole Spike and Buffy situation. They had a history to rival a lot of couples that was for sure. There had been the mortal enemy years, then the bickering years, the grudging ally year, the secret sex year and then...the last year in Sunnydale. The year when everyone noticed how close those two got even if they didn’t themselves.

The witch would often wander around the house and pick up on stray whispered conversations from the Potentials. They were curious about their leader’s ‘thing’ with the vampire. Willow smiled. The Potentials weren’t the only ones who were curious. She and Xander had discussed it a few times. Xander usually disapproving but gradually he softened to the idea of the two of them.

Willow had never really talked to Buffy about Spike. No one had, really. It was strange because the two girls used to share everything. The latest development with Angel, the newest sweet thing that Riley had said, the poopheadiness of Parker...but no Spike talk. Unless it was of how much of a pig he was.

Willow supposed that Buffy wanted Spike for herself. Just like Willow had once wanted Tara to herself. She had told Tara she wanted something that was hers. That must have been what was between Buffy and Spike.

During the last year in Sunnydale when emotions ran high and sometimes they all forgot whom their loyalties should belong to, Spike had been Buffy’s one constant. It made the witch ashamed to realize that. When everyone else had bailed on the Slayer, he had stayed true.

He was hers.

It soon became an unspoken thing between the once enemies, Willow realized. Wherever Buffy went Spike was close behind. When she was giving another inspirational speech he was at her side, nodding and at least looking like he was listening intently. Spike’s love for Buffy was the means that had resulted in his saving the world.

It had taken this remembrance of times past for Willow Rosenberg to figure something out.

It just hit her.

Spike was Buffy’s long-haul guy.

Looking up at the window of the cottage where they both slept she wondered if Buffy had worked this out herself yet. Knowing Buffy – nice girl but not so bright – she had yet to fathom it.

Willow finished her tea, knew it was time to get back to work. She picked up the vial of poison and knew it was time for a lot of book reading.

As she was walking back to the living room she spared a glance over her shoulder at the cottage.

The Slayer and her right-hand man.

Willow grinned and shook her head, both fools for love.

Spike liked to watch Buffy sleep. He was well aware of how much like a stalker that would sound to most people. But he didn’t care. When she slept she got this wonderful wistful smile on her face. Like she was at peace. He had often wondered what she dreamed of – was it of heaven? Did she still want to be back there? Or was it of loved ones that had passed on? Spike knew it wasn’t really his business. Didn’t stop him pondering it though.

The Slayer and the vampire had only really shared an actual bed once before. The night that he had given her his rousing speech on her being ‘the one’. Even when they had been having sex they had never made it to the bed. As far as he was concerned the time Buffy had been invisible didn’t count because she hadn’t really been there. He looked back on times like that and shook his head, wondering what he had been thinking.

Well, no. He knew what he had been thinking. It went something along the lines of – Buffy, sex, with me. With me, sex, Buffy. Totally incoherent thoughts. Now he had his soul he saw how damaging that kind of relationship had been to both Buffy and himself. Of course just because he had a soul didn’t mean that he didn’t want her.

He always wanted her.

The toxin in his body was pushing that want to the surface far more than he felt comfortable with. Spike’s main concern at that moment was that she was safe from him because if he hurt her again he would have to kill himself. He couldn’t bear it.

Whenever he thought of that night in the bathroom a chill ran down his spine. Had that really been him? The answer was always the same, of course. Yes. It had been him. He had been upset and angry but it had still been him. Some corner of his mind had told him this isn’t right, what are you doing? But he had ignored it.

Something he would regret for the rest of his life.

And though Buffy made a show of how it didn’t matter anymore Spike still saw the way she sometimes trembled when he got near. It wasn’t the good type of tremble. He remembered back in Sunnydale when he had been staying at Xander’s house an incident that would stay with him. Spike had been in his room (his closet) and he had heard Buffy and Willow come around to hang with Xander. So, he had opened his door a crack to watch the Slayer. They had been watching the telly. Some made-for-TV movie. About a husband abusing his wife. About rape. Buffy had seized up on the chair, her jaw tightening and a shake running through her whole body. Xander had quickly changed the station much to Willow’s protest. No one had told Willow about it at that time obviously. Buffy turned to look at Spike’s door almost instinctively. The vampire had been a fraction of a second too slow to shut it and he knew that she was aware he had been watching her.

They had never spoken about the attack. Spike had never entered the bathroom in the Summers’ house again. Buffy had tensed when a Potential one day asked if the dent in the bathroom wall was from a fight with a demon. She had answered with an affirmative nod.

A demon.

That was what he was, what he would always be.

Giles’ had been right. Spike wasn’t healthy for Buffy. The vampire never thought he would agree with the Watcher about anything. Times do change. Demons do not. That was what they taught you these days.

That was what she had said. What she had said when talking to the Potentials about him and his kind.

"Hey, what’s with the brooding-face?" Buffy piped suddenly awake and making him start "You should be careful, you could turn into Angel"

Spike blinked, looked down at the Slayer and recovered, he snorted "Not bloody likely. I could never use that much hair gel"

"Right. Because your hair is smoothed down naturally" Buffy grinned, pulling herself up into a half sitting position.

"Oi!" Spike protested but it was half-hearted.

She reached across and brushed her fingers over his forehead "I like your hair kind of curly. Makes you look...I don’t know, more –"

"Human?" He interjected.

"I was gonna say boyish" She replied, her green eyes looking him over.

Spike brushed her hand aside and shifted toward the edge of the bed "You probably shouldn’t touch me. I’ll try and jump you again"

Buffy smirked, inclining her head towards him "Spike, you really shouldn’t promise such a thing unless you’re gonna deliver. Not fair raising a girl’s hopes like that"

He looked at her, face completely serious "This isn’t funny, Buffy"

"You either laugh or you cry, right? That’s your philosophy if I’m correct" She tilted her head "What’s up, Spike? Apart from the whole changing species thing"

He snorted "Yeah, because that’s such a blasé thing. Ever considered that might be the only thing bothering me? That this time tomorrow I might have scales and a soddin’ mermaids tail"

"Technically, it would be a merman’s tail" The Slayer informed him, nodding with her own clever wisdom.

"My mistake then. That’s much better. A merman" Spike sat up "Great, I can be all manly while I’m sleeping with the fishes"

Buffy giggled.

He whipped his head around to look at her "Something funny, luv?"

"No. No...okay, it’s just ‘sleeping with the fishes’...?" Buffy burst out into snorting laughter then calmed herself as she saw the hurt look on his face "I’m sorry. But if you just add an Italian accent to that it would be the Godfather minus the Brando"

Spike tried not to smile. He really did. He was supposed to be mad at her for being so insensitive. But he could never glower at her for long. Just seeing her made him want to smile. It would be a sin to scowl at a face as lovely as hers. Spike chuckled to himself. Just when he thought he had gotten rid of all traces of his ‘William’ persona his brain would come up with something like that.

He froze when Buffy reached over and ran her fingertips across his mouth, tracing his lips.

"I like it when you smile, I mean really genuinely smile. Sure, the moody bad-boy thing has its place too but..." She looked at him softly "But I like it when you smile"

Spike reached up and took her hand, rubbing his thumb against her palm "I like it when you laugh. Don’t see it much"

"Don’t have much call for the giggles"

"Not even now? When you can live a semi-normal life?"

Buffy shrugged "Got no one to share my life with. Sure there’s Dawn and Giles, Willow and Xander but..."

"But no one just for you"

"Bingo" She said quietly and a little melancholic.

Spike turned his whole body to face her "What? There’s no English blokes trying to get a piece of you?"

Buffy grinned and poked him in the chest "Only the one. Although I’m not so sure he’s interested anymore"

"Oh, he’s interested" Spike countered "Just not sure if he should be"

Buffy looked down at the bed, paused then looked back up "I missed you...when you were gone"

"Did you now?"

"Of course," She watched his face "Spike, I thought you were dead and you never told me otherwise. A call would have been nice. Instead of having to find out from Andrew of all people"

"I didn’t want to disappoint you"

"Why would I have been disappointed?"

He rubbed his forehead, sighed "Because I saved the world...even if I did just wear a necklace. I saved the world, I was partly redeemed. Then I was back. Just Spike. Having to haunt Angel, no higher purpose. Who wouldn’t be disappointed?"

"I wouldn’t" Buffy’s voice was hushed.

Spike watched her face carefully. She was being genuine. Buffy Summers wasn’t disappointed he was just Spike. She had missed him. To say he had missed her would have been pointless. It was a well-known fact. Spike was in love with her. Would be forever. It was just one of the things the world took for granted.

Sun gotta shine. Birds gotta fly. Spike gotta love Buffy.

Simple as that.

"Besides you did more than just wear a necklace. You had the courage to die to save the world, a world which hasn’t done you many favors" The Slayer carried on "You saw it through. I was so proud of you for that. Proud...and pissed off"

Spike was still glowing from the proud compliment "Pissed off?"

"You went and died on me. Just when things were getting interesting" She smiled slowly.

He arched an eyebrow "Interesting, eh?"

Buffy just gave him a look.

"I’m not so much a champion, luv" Spike said self-deprecating again "And I know it. When I died...I didn’t go anywhere at first. Just one minute I was burning up the next I was in Angel’s office. After that when I was a ghost I started...fading away"

The Slayer frowned, worried "Fading away?"

"Disappearing. Getting pulled back..."

"To where?"
"It wasn’t the place champions go" Spike shuddered "I’ve felt the pull of hell, Buffy. I’ve felt it and I’m scared. Saving the world once isn’t enough. I’m still damned. But...But I don’t want to go there, Buffy, I don’t want to go..."

Buffy grabbed his hand, squeezed it "You’re not going anywhere"

"If I...if I try something you’re gonna have to kill me" Spike looked at her with scared little boy eyes.

"Not gonna happen"

"I won’t let myself hurt you again" He whispered.

She leaned closer to him "I’m not exactly the token girl victim, Spike. I can handle myself and I can handle you...although lately, the handling has been far too brief"

Spike looked at her, a little surprised at that.

"Haven’t been handled for so long" She sighed, looking up at the ceiling.

He leaned in closer to her too "So, the last handling was..."

"Yeah" Buffy glanced at him, looked away and smiled wryly "Even you’ve had more handling then me. What with Anya and, I guess, there’s been others..."

"Just Harmony" Spike mumbled, sighing.

Her eyes widened "Harmony? Again?"

"I’d just got recorporealized" He shook his head "Not thinking too clearly"

"Men" Buffy chided him.

He placed his index finger and thumb on her chin, leveled her face to his "Didn’t mean a damn thing. Just like Anya. In my heart I’ve always been faithful to you"

"I don’t know whether to think that’s sweet," The Slayer looked him in the eyes "Or a line all guys use on girls when they’ve been screwing around"

"I’d go with the former. I’m a sweet guy"

"Not a word I’d associate with you often"

Spike inched closer to her on the bed "And what words would you associate with me?"

"Sarcastic. Annoying...honest, real, mildly attractive, far too arrogant –" She ran off the list on her fingers.

"Mildly attractive?" Spike grinned, whispered in her ears "Wanna hear some words I have for you?"

"Not if they’re unseemly" Buffy announced.

"Unseemly? You have lived with Giles far too long" The vampire arched an eyebrow "Can’t give you a list of words anyway"

She looked almost disappointed "Why not?"

"Because I don’t have the words to describe you"

The Slayer actually blushed. Score one for the peroxide vampire. He smiled at this rare show of girlishness from her. She was always feminine but hardly ever girly. And he liked that. Couldn’t cope with the girly ones...his thing with Harmony attested to that. Still, a few moments like these he could appreciate with Buffy.

She gave him a playful slap on the arm "Charmer"

"I try my best" He pouted with a hint of a smile.

There was a slight knocking at the door breaking the spell between them. Both of them gazed at each other a moment longer, not wanting to end the moment.

"Buffy?" It was Willow.

The Slayer sighed and pulled herself out of bed, walked to the door and opened it "Hey, did you find something?"

"I don’t know. Maybe. I’m not sure" Willow stumbled "I kind of need you to come take a look at this"

Spike started to get off the bed too.

Buffy put a hand up to him "Spike you go back to bed. It’s only just turning dark and you need to rest"

"Screw that! It’s about me" He replied.

She turned to face him "Please. You need all the strength you can get to keep the demon from rising. I promise I’ll come and tell you right away"

The vampire let out a long sigh but then, after a moment, nodded. Buffy smiled slightly at him and then followed Willow out of the room and out of the cottage. Spike rubbed his head and pushed himself backward onto the bed. He sat there for a minute before lying down and closing his eyes. He was a little glad Buffy was gone. Give him a reprieve. He had been fighting extra hard to keep the water-feral demon’s libido down.

Spike bit down on his bottom lip and started to breathe in and out slowly. Being a vampire he didn’t need to do this but it calmed him a little. His temperature was rising (which was, in itself very bad, because vampire’s, as a rule didn’t have a body temperature).

He just hoped by the time Buffy came back he would have this all under control.

Dawn entered the house with a sigh, dropping her bag on the floor and kicking her shoes off. School was such a drag sometimes. Sure, she loved the school in England because she could leave in a few months if she wanted to and because she was actually popular. Being American set her apart from the other students but in a good way. They all asked her about what it was like to live in America and she was getting some pretty favorable looks from the guys as well. That she liked. What she didn’t like was having to go to school when one of her friends was hurt. Spike had been a close and dear friend to her until things had gone wrong in Sunnydale. Now, though, she felt that he had earned her forgiveness at least in part. She didn’t want to see him turn into some freaky demon thing.

She didn’t think it was fair that Spike saved the world and got a soul just for it to end like this – swimming off into the great sea.

Of course, Buffy wouldn’t let that happen. She would probably lock him in a tank until they could find a cure. It made Dawn feel weird to think of her sister feeding Spike with those little flake things you gave to your pet goldfish.

Dawn heard voices as she entered the living room. Giles was standing leaning against one wall, with glasses in hand and weary expression. Willow and Buffy were sitting on the couch in the middle of a heated discussion on everyone’s favorite topic; Spike.

They all looked up as she entered.

"What’s up?" Dawn asked, then added hopefully "Did you find a cure?"

Willow shook her head "No...no not yet. We’re working on it"

"What’s that?" She saw a vial of black liquid in the witch’s hand.

She glanced down at it then back up "The poison from the water-feral demon. I extracted it from its arm quill"

"Eww" Dawn pulled a face "So, what for? Does that thing hold the cure?"

Buffy stood "We hope so. Willow says that it’s a pretty strange compound though"

"Yes," Giles pushed away from the wall "It seems that due to the demon’s poison’s metamorphic ability the cells in it keep multiplying and changing. It could be very difficult to specifically reverse its polarity to that of vampire physiology"

Dawn gave him a blank look.

"To turn the poison instead into one that can change a creature into a vampire. Like Spike" Giles explained in simpler terms.

"Oh, right," Dawn turned to Willow "Will it...I mean, if you can do that...will he lose his soul? Just be a regular vamp again?"

Buffy shook her head; arms crossed "No. No"

"Well, Buffy," Willow said gently "We don’t actually know that..."

"No, Willow. Spike’s soul has nothing to do with his physi...physo...whatever! It’s inside him it’s part of him and it can’t be taken away" Buffy nodded her head "It can’t"

Giles stepped forward "I think you’re being a little naive..."

"Yeah? Well, I think you’re being a lot annoying" Buffy countered.

Dawn rolled her eyes and decided to tune the rest of the conversation out. Buffy and Giles had been fighting so much since Spike had come back it had almost become a taken for granted part of life. She slipped out of the room and walked down the hall into the kitchen and then out of the back door. Her feet crunched on the gravel as she made her way over to the cottage. She just wanted to see if Spike was all right, he was probably frightened going through this alone.

The door to the cottage had been torn off but was now fixed thanks to Xander. Dawn pushed against it and wasn’t surprised to see Buffy hadn’t locked it. She never locked doors. That was going to get someone in trouble one day. Dawn shut the door behind her and made her way through the living room and up the stairs to Buffy’s bedroom.

Dawn wished she could have a whole cottage to herself. There would be no was that she would still want to sleep in the main body of the house then. No way. The sight of Andrew and Giles in the morning in their Spiderman PJ’s and robe, respectively, bickering about being Watchers was not a pretty sight.

Dawn reached the top of the stairs and knocked on the door. There was a slight groan from inside. Dawn opened the door and stepped inside. The room was pitch black – the curtains firmly shut and no other light coming from a lamp or anything. It was darker in the room then it was out in the English night.

"Spike?" She whispered stepping cautiously further into the room.

"Ohh..." There was a groan "Dawn...get out...not...ohh..."

She frowned and looked around. She heard a loud thud and jumped. Dawn saw a flash of platinum hair on the floor by the bed. Spike had obviously rolled off the bed and hit the floor. She started to go to him when he let out a loud swear word and told her to stay away.

Dawn was worried about him; he could be badly hurt or changing into the fish thing right now. Something in the back of her mind told her to go and run and get Buffy but then she changed her mind. It was Spike and he might be hurt. She walked over to him and crouched down, laid a hand on his bare back.

"Spike, are you okay?"

To her surprise he let out a long laugh "Oh, I’m better than okay, Dawnie"

He whipped his face around to look at her and there was no Spike in his eyes. They were empty and his face full of an emotion Dawn had never seen on a guy looking at her but she recognized it nevertheless – desire. It caused her to jump up and take steps backwards away from him. Something wasn’t right here. Something was really wrong.

Spike flipped up onto his feet in one fluid movement, his eyes fixed on her. A sharp smiled stretched across his lips and he slowly, calmly, deliberately started to walk towards her. It was more of a swagger really, one of a hunter. And she was the deer caught in the headlights.

Dawn turned to run like her mind was screaming at her and made it almost to the door before Spike grabbed her around the waist and threw her across the room. She hit the bed in a semi-soft landing. There was only one thing left to do.

Dawn screamed like hell.

Spike was on her in a second slapping his hand on her mouth and using his other to pin her by the shoulder to the bed. He was leaning all his weight against her and Dawn couldn’t move at all.

"Hello, Dawn," Spike licked his lips "Always wanted to be thought of as a real woman, didn’t you? Well, now’s your chance"

Spike leaned down into her and Dawn decided to take action. She was scared as hell and her heart was hammering in her chest but she was Dawn Summers and she wasn’t just going to lie there and take it. As he leaned his face down to hers she brought both her hands up and slapped them against Spike’s ears at the same time.

The vampire roared and threw his head back clutching his ears. Buffy had taught Dawn that move – hurt like a bitch apparently.

Dawn used his distraction and shoved him in the chest with all her strength. Spike toppled from her off the bed and Dawn leapt up and over the end of the bed like she was an Olympic sprinter. She yanked the door open and made it to the top of the stairs when Spike barreled into her from behind. Dawn had time to think Oh, crap before they both went tumbling down the stairs.

She was defiantly going to bruise, Dawn decided as she stuck the side of head on a stair and landed at the bottom in a heap with Spike on top of her, so gonna bruise. Spike was up in a second, grabbed her, tossed her over his shoulder and carried her back upstairs. Even through her semi-conscious haze Dawn heard the sound of the door downstairs being kicked in and to say she was relieved was a mild way of putting it.

Spike threw her down on the floor as footsteps ran full speed up the stairs. He looked down at Dawn and grinned.

Buffy burst through the door shortly followed by Giles and Willow. The Slayer took in the scene with wide eyes and a quavering lip.

"What the hell...?" Buffy said, trailing off.

Spike turned to her "Slayer. Care to join little sis and me? Turns out she’s quite innocent. Or at least she was until I –"

Buffy slapped him around the face so hard the sound echoed through the room. Then she seemed to realize that that wasn’t enough as Spike grinned as he turned around to look at her.

"Spanking, eh?" The vampire morphed faces "I like it, Buffy"

Dawn watched as a hurt look crossed Buffy’s face before she whirled around and kicked Spike in the gut. He let out a groan and flew backwards into the wall by the window. He grinned. Buffy ran at him and started throwing punches.

Giles and Willow ran to Dawn "Are you alright?"

Dawn couldn’t answer as she saw Spike try to make a grope for the Slayer. Buffy ducked out of the way then grabbed him by the shoulders and threw him out of the window. The glass shattered and Spike disappeared outside. A loud thud and a groan shortly followed the sound of braking glass.

Buffy ran over and knelt by Dawn, took her face in her hands "Did he...did he...do anything to you? Did he touch you?"

"...No...no..." She shook her head, cuddling into her sister "What’s wrong with him, Buffy? That wasn’t Spike, right? It wasn’t him"

Buffy stroked her hair "No...no it wasn’t....it wasn’t"

Dawn looked up and noticed the look on Giles’ face. It wasn’t a friendly one.

When Spike awoke he immediately knew that he was chained due to the fact that his arms wouldn’t move. Sitting up abruptly he groaned as a pain shot down his back and his side. He was in Buffy’s bedroom in the guesthouse. It was dark and he was alone. There was a breeze. He looked at the window and saw it was broken, frigid English air drifting through and making his dead skin seem colder.

The window.

Dawn.

Spike let out a long, terrible sounding whimper. He had tried to...to...to Dawn! God, why? Why did this kind of thing keep happening to him? Spike grabbed his head and began to rock back and forth. Never would he hurt Dawn, never...but he done. He had tried to do worse.

The rope around his wrists bit into his skin but still he strained against them. He had to get out here. Had to get away from Dawn and Buffy and Willow and everyone so that he wouldn’t get the chance to hurt them. Already he could feel the change in himself. He could see the change. His skin was starting to develop a bluish tint. Soon he would be more water-feral than Spike. He had to get out now.

The other ends of the ropes were tied to the bedstead. The vampire shook his head. Buffy should have known better than that...unless she was being easy on him because of their history. In which case he definitely had to get out of there otherwise she might hesitate to kill him if she had to.

Spike braced his feet against the bed and yanked on his wrists. The bedpost splintered far too easily. Spike stood, still with his hands bound by rope but free to walk about. The pain was no just a dull ache.

He heard a sound from downstairs. Voices. Buffy and Willow.

Hadn’t they learnt their lesson? He was dangerous!

Spike looked around. The window was the only way. The vampire did a run up and then jumped out it into the night. This time he braced himself for the landing and hit the ground in a roll, gravel spraying up around him.

The pain was rehashed and he let out a small, sharp cry.

He heard Buffy shouting inside the cottage. Looked up and saw her staring out of the window. They shared a moment, looking into each other’s eyes. Then Buffy disappeared. She was coming after him. Spike scrabbled up and ran as fast as he could arms still bound in front of him.

He crashed through the foliage into a wide-open field. Spike didn’t hesitate he ran full pelt across the length of the field and looked back as he entered the heavy clump of trees on the other side. Buffy entered the field and stopped. She looked around and the vampire slid into the shadows.

The Slayer turned on her heel and ran in the opposite direction. Spike let out a useless pent up breath.

He trudged through the muddy ground and then a scent caught his attention. He cocked his head and drew in the delectable smell.

Suddenly Spike knew where he belonged.

Buffy sat on the corner of the couch with her head in her hands. So much had passed in such few hours. She was still reeling from Spike’s attack on Dawn and now this? Did Spike have no consideration for how this would hurt her? How all of it would hurt her? Or was the water-feral completely driving him now? She just didn’t know.

"Buffy," Willow sat down next to her, put an arm around her "You’ll find him"

Giles cleared his throat "If it weren’t for the possibility Spike might attack some innocent woman I would have to say perhaps it’s best we let him go"

The Slayer froze. Her back muscles tensed and she was sure Willow felt it.

Buffy looked up into the eyes of her Watcher "Giles? Do me a favour and stop being a useless, thoughtless prick! Spike is out there scared and alone, changing into some demon and you’re telling me that, if he weren’t dangerous, we should just let him go?!"

"Buffy, I just mean –"

She stood suddenly to her full height "I don’t want to hear it. If you’re not going to help me I don’t want you involved"

"This is my house" Giles said.

"Then I’ll leave," Buffy grabbed her jacket "I have to find Spike before he does something stupid...er"

Dawn stood in the doorway suddenly, she looked bruised but okay "Where will you go? Spike doesn’t know this place. He could be anywhere"

Giles moved towards her "Dawn you should go back to bed you need to rest"

"I want to help"

"Help with what?"

It was Xander. Fresh in from a day at work. Buffy pulled her jacket on. She didn’t want to have to deal with Xander and Giles. They had made their skepticism of Spike clear a long time ago. Besides every minute she spent in the house was another minute Spike got further away.

"I have to go now. He...his skin was turning blue" The Slayer said "I have to find him now"

Xander frowned "What’s going on?"

"Well, maybe you shouldn’t look for Spike..." Willow started.

Buffy looked at her wide-eyed "Willow, I have to find him. I –"

"No! No! I don’t mean don’t go find him" Willow quickly corrected "I mean I don’t think you should be thinking of him as Spike. The demon will be partly driving him now. Think about where the demon would go"

Dawn perked up "A water-feral demon is gonna need some water"

"The lake?" Buffy asked.

"Not likely," Giles replied "They do, as a rule, prefer larger bodies of water. I was very surprised that the demon was in the lake. Spike’s instincts will draw him to a river or a reservoir or –"

"The sea" Buffy finished.

There was a beach about twenty minutes from Giles’ house. Suddenly Buffy just knew that was where he had gone. The Slayer ran towards the door.

Giles called after her "Buffy, you should take weapons! We should come with you for back-up"

"No. I can’t risk you guys," She turned to them as she opened the door "Willow, Giles keep working on the reversal poison. Xander I’m gonna need to take your car. Dawn get back to bed and rest"

Xander pulled his keys out, handed them to her "I’d still like to know what’s going on..."

"Willow will fill you in"

Buffy took the key and then turned running out of the door into the night. She sprinted to Xander’s car and got in, turned the ignition on. She thanked the stars that she had learned to drive that last year in Sunnydale. Even if she hadn’t learnt to drive well. It was more difficult on the English roads because everything was in reverse but Buffy couldn’t worry about that. She had a vampire to rescue. That sounded familiar. It seemed to the Slayer she was always rescuing vampires. Sometimes she thought she did it more then killing them.

Buffy peeled out of Giles’ premises spraying gravel as she went. She was going over the speed limit but the police were rarely seen around here. The car bumped and joggled her all the way down the small country lanes. The Slayer barely noticed. Her mind was fixed on the mission – secure certain vampire and then kill him for running away.

She shook her head, gritted her teeth. She was so mad at Spike. Not mad for attacking Dawn because she knew it wasn’t his fault. She was mad at him for leaving. For not thinking she could handle the changes he was going through. For obviously thinking so little of her as to run away and hide from her.

Buffy shook her head again and tried to clear her thoughts and emotions. She needed to concentrate on the road otherwise she was likely to drive into a bush or something.

The Slayer took a sharp turn into a dirt road that she knew would take her to the beach. She would be there in five minutes...maybe less with the speed she was going. Then she was finally going to sort this thing between her and Spike out once and for all.

Xander hung up the phone in the hallway and walked into the living room. Giles and Willow sat on the couch surrounded by a pile of books and the vile of poison that Willow had – ick – removed from the water-feral thing. Xander glanced at the black sticky stuff and grimaced, it reminded him a little too much of melted caviar. Too much of Anya and his not-a-wedding reception...

Anya.

Xander tried not to think of her much, at least not when he wasn’t alone. When he was alone he would sit in his chair, drinking his cran-apple and remember the ex-vengeance demon who had almost become his wife. He missed her more then he thought possible. Missed her smile. Missed her money-grabbing attitude. Missed the way she would select her words a shade too precisely. Just missed her, mostly.

Giles looked up finally "So, what did Angel have to say?"

"He said he’d get Wesley right on it" Xander said then frowned "If that’s a good thing. Not my choice for Watcher of the year"

Giles smiled slightly "From what I’ve heard he’s...matured a fair bit since we last saw him"

Willow nodded "Yep. He’s gone all dark. Told me so himself"

"Does that count? Like, I’m darker then you are?" Xander raised his eyebrows and slumped into a seat, absent-mindedly picking up a heavy book.

The witch smiled and shrugged "I don’t know. I beat him though"

Xander gave her a soft slug on the arm "There’s our little dark-rooted-wicca"

Willow rolled her eyes. It was good that they could make jokes about it now. Xander found joking was much easier then being serious. He always had done. He looked down at the book which was written in a bizarre language and turned it upside down just to see if it made sense that way. It really didn’t. Xander placed the book back on the table and picked up another smaller one written in English. He scratched his head.

"Is it weird that I’m worried for her?" He asked.

Giles removed his glasses, polished them "Buffy? No, not at all. Spike is unstable. Highly dangerous even –"

"No," Xander looked at him sheepishly "I mean, worried that she’s gonna..."

"Completely flake out on Spike again?" Willow finished.

Xander nodded.

Giles frowned "What? You two are not against this...?"

Willow shrugged "Not really"

"Xander, you never liked Spike" Giles turned to him.

"I still don’t but..." He sighed "And I hate to admit this, but, the guy makes Buffy happy. Haven’t you seen the change in her since he came back here with her? She’s all giggly and perky. And Buffy perky is not a common enough occurrence, dammit!" He grinned.

Willow smiled "Perky Buffy is of the good. But rarely seen, it’s true"

"I don’t believe I’m hearing this..." Giles rubbed his brow "You both think that Spike would be good for Buffy? That he could possibly give her what she needs?"

Xander shrugged "How do we know what Buffy needs? We aren’t her. If she’s hot for the sallow vampire guys with stupid hair, then I guess that’s her decision."

"We’re her friends, Giles," Willow added "We need to support her in this. Otherwise she’ll resent us"

The Watcher nodded and sighed in his very resigned way of sighing. Xander really hoped he would, if not support Buffy then at least just let her be. He didn’t like to see Giles and Buffy fighting. They had always kind of been the perfect poster children for a father and daughter relationship. Although they were not related by blood they were joined by something a lot more powerful – kinship. They all were. Buffy – Willow – Xander – Giles. They had been there from the beginning. Team Slay-More to the Rescue!

Xander wondered if Buffy had found Spike yet. If she was trying to talk him down from the ledge, so to speak. As much as it had disgusted Xander when he had first found out about them, he had always been curious about their relationship. Not in a perverted sexy way! Just in a ‘what the hell did she see in him’ way. It was clearer now, of course. Spike was good now, or at least that’s what he acted like. And, he did love Buffy. If you had asked Xander a few years ago the one couple he was sure would never get together it would have been Spike and Buffy. They despised each other back then.

He guessed it was true what they said – there’s a fine line between love and hate...and wall crumbling sex probably blurred the boundaries further still.

Not that he would know. Xander sighed. No wall crumbling sex for him. It still kind of freaked him out that he knew about Spike and Buffy’s sexual relationship at all. That’s what he got for listening to Dawn and the Potentials whispering in the night.

How Dawn had found out he would never know. Not sure if he wanted to know.

As usual Xander’s mind had wandered into the gutter and refused to get out. It was inevitable that he went to the scary visual place again. Xander quickly slapped himself round the face and stared down at the book.

All three of them looked up when the fax machine started to whirl to life in the hallway.

Xander jumped up and walked to the hall pulling the three pieces of paper out of the machine. He was glance-reading them as he entered the living room again.

"Well?" Giles asked impatiently.

"It’s from Wesley. Man, that guy does work fast" Xander skimmed further "It says ‘Angel has informed me of Spike’s plight. I checked the reference library for anything related to water-feral demons and then narrowed down my search to the metamorphic properties of the serum secreted from their quills. I’m afraid a great deal of it is written in ancient Summarian with what seems to be a mixture of Greek and Latin. I sent you the text and will continue to work on a translation for you’...blah, blah, blah. Man, that guy can talk for England"

Giles held his hand out "Let me see"

"I know a little Latin" Willow said peering over Giles’ shoulder to look at the sheets.

"Yes and I know basic Summarian but very little Greek" Giles murmured.

Xander grinned "And I know the language known only as – Jelly Donuts. Or, scones! The great food of the Englishman! Scones or Jelly’s?"

"Hmm" Giles muttered.

"Mmh" Willow muttered.

Xander gave them a thumbs up even though they were both engrossed "Both it is! Without my car it’s gonna be a long journey but I must nourish the troops!"

"We have some of both in the cupboards" Giles waved a dismissive hand.

"Ah ha!" Xander turned to the kitchen "Giles’ food horde! Of course"

He walked into the kitchen and his smile dropped. Sometimes it was hard not to feel useless around those two. Brainy McBrains. When Buffy was around Xander didn’t feel quite so dense – she may have the super powers but she wasn’t much good with ancient languages either. Besides, she always appreciated his food preparation skills. Even if the skills only included putting things on a plate. She always complimented him on his arrangement.

Xander started rooting around the cupboards. Buffy would be home soon. She’d just pick up Spike and be back in a flash he was sure. He held back an extra donut for her, left it in the kitchen with some sprinkles on top. She always liked those.

Buffy wasn’t quite sure exactly when it had started to rain but the English weather was like that – unpredictable. The sky was pitch black but she knew that in a few hours it would begin to lighten, to turn an almost blood red before the lighter pink, azure blue and orange hues began to leak into the sky. Buffy knew this because she had spent many a night just watching the colors change. Sometimes it was because she just couldn’t sleep other times it was just because she loved the majestic nature of it all. The sky was like the world’s biggest canvas, constantly changing, and subtly shaping the day ahead.

The Slayer pulled up the car – she had reached the as far as she could go in an automobile. Buffy looked through the windscreen up at the sky. There were heavy clouds, gray and unsettling. A good old English storm was brewing.

She climbed out of the car and slammed the door shut after her. Pulling her jacket tighter around herself Buffy let out a gasp of surprise when a cold splash of water found its way down the back of her collar and shirt. The one drip slid all the way down her spine making her shiver.

The rain was heavy and within seconds she was drenched, her hair plastered to her head, white-shirt sodden to her body even with the added protection of a jacket. She started up the dirt path, her heels sinking into the already boggy mud. It was times like this she wished for sunny California.

No, scratch that. Buffy loved storms. Probably because growing up in California she hadn’t seen many. They just always made her feel so much more...alive. The cold rain splashes, the illuminating bolts of lightning that, just for a moment, made the night sky feel like day.

Then there was the thunder.

It sounded above her right now. Buffy hurried along the dirt path but stopped just for a moment to look up in time to catch a zigzag of lightning hurtling through the abyss.

Thunder sounded again. It was the sound of giants walking among them. The steady thud of footsteps in the sky.

God, she loved storms.

Buffy sighed, shook her head and carried on. She had to find Spike; the philosophical things could wait. Pushing her way through the overgrown foliage on either side of a small walkway that led to the beach Buffy found she could no longer restrain herself. She started to run. Brambles and twigs scraped at her unguarded face and the Slayer let out a hiss as a bramble sliced a clean line across her cheek. No time to stop. Just a small cut.

She burst onto the beach like an Olympic athlete through the finishing line. Buffy came to a halt. Her heels sunk into the wet sand; her hair was stuck to her face partly obscuring her vision. But she still saw him.

Anywhere, he was hard to miss. But on this deserted beach, he was everything.

Spike stood with his back to her, quite a way away at the very edge of the shoreline. The sea pulled out and pulled in. The tide licked at his feet. He was still shirtless and cut from being thrown through the window. His alabaster skin, now tinted with blue, was marred with angry red cuts and dark swelling.

From this distance Buffy watched him and he looked ethereal. So pale, so desolate, head hung and a tense set to his shoulders. He could have just been a figment. A lonely ghost.

Always alone.

Just like her.

The sea waves were beginning to crash against the rocks, the tide more furious now as it swallowed Spike’s ankles. The dark clouds loomed low to the water as if trying to intimidate. The seawater appeared gray in the night. Everything was dark, save for when the lightning flashed.

His skin was her only beacon.

Spike took a small step forward. It was a tiny step, almost imperceptible, but she caught it. Buffy always noticed every small movement he made. She was that aware of him.

He stepped again. Then again.

He started to run into the water.

Buffy did not hesitate she kicked off her boots and ran towards him full Slayer speed. Her feet sunk into the clumped up sand; it got stuck between her toes. She noticed none of this as she called his name out.

The sound was drowned out by the thunder rumbling overhead.

Spike was thigh-deep in water, wading his way through the current.

He was leaving.

Buffy wasn’t going to let that happen. She careened into the back of him with all of her weight. They both fell forwards into the water.

It was a shock to the system. The water was freezing cold, it streamed up her nose and into her mouth and the salt choked her. Left her spluttering beneath the surface. She fought to keep her eyes open but could see very little in the murky water. Her arm was wrapped tightly around Spike.

Buffy planted her feet on the ground and stood up. She gasped as she broke the surface, pulling in deep breaths. The stinging sensation in her sinuses did not subside; neither did the burning in her throat.

Spike pushed away from her, turned around to face her. Water was sluicing down his body and face; his skin seemed more translucent. Beyond the blue undertones she could see veins and arteries, lifeless and useless. Water droplets clung to his long eyelashes; his hair was mussed and water-swept.

His eyes were pure blue.

There was no white in them.

Buffy looked into those eyes, those sad looking eyes, and it threw her for a moment. Spike’s eyes had always been, figuratively speaking, the windows to his soul. His every emotion would be conveyed in those eyes even if he didn’t wish for them to be projected.

But it was still Spike.

"Stay back!" He yelled over the thunder "I can’t be near you, I can’t!"

He took slow but deliberate steps back in the heavy current of the water. It reached just above his waist but it came up to Buffy’s chest. The cold was beginning to seep through her clothes and goosebumps were appearing...everywhere.

None of it affected Spike.

"Don’t" Buffy whispered.

She hoped that he knew what she meant by that one word. Don’t leave. Don’t leave her.

Spike looked at her with those alien eyes but still she saw it in him. The softness, the love, the utter abandonment he felt when looking at her. Buffy wished that she could love as deeply as Spike could. Could give everything she had to one person even though there was always the fear and uncertainty of that person cutting you down.

Like she had done to him so, so many times.

She began to shiver and shake noticeably and it wasn’t entirely from the cold. A chill wind tore at her, even penetrating her heavily damp jacket, whipping stray strands of her hair into a frenzy. Chilling her to the bone.

"Let me go, Buffy," Spike whispered "Let me go...you’ll be safe, warm, not cold...not cold with me"

Buffy shook her head, mostly to herself. He still didn’t get it. He still didn’t see.

She couldn’t blame him for it.

It was, after all, her fault that it had become so complex and painful for them both. Buffy knew that she had treated Spike badly and she would admit that. But he hadn’t been entirely blame free. She didn’t just mean the bathroom. She meant the way, back in Sunnydale, when he had tried to drag her into the darkness. It was where he was meant to be. Or so he thought.

Buffy knew different now.

Spike was not a creature of darkness. Not anymore, anyway.

He was filled with light, love, laughter, trust and he was real. He was one of the good guys, one of the white hats who never got to come into the sun.

The Powers still kept trying to pull him into Hell.

Buffy wouldn’t let that happen. He wasn’t going anywhere this time. This time he was staying firmly at her side, in whatever capacity he chose. She would just be happy for him to be there as a friend if that was all he wanted. She could deal with that. Spike made a good friend; she had come to realize during the last year in Sunnydale.

Had come to realize a lot of things that last year.

"You’re the one thing that keeps me warm, Spike" She spoke softly, through quavering lips.

Buffy knew he heard. Even over the thunder, the lightning, the wind and the rain he heard.

He heard.

Spike took another step backwards, shook his head "No. No! I was bad for you, bad and wrong and...I made you hurt. I made you hurt worse than anyone"

Buffy let out a choke of melancholic laughter "Self involved, much?"

"It’s better, Buffy, it’s better if I..." Spike doubled over, almost kissing the water, he pulled a face of pain "...go. Now. Before this...uhhh..."

Buffy waded towards him, worried. He jumped back put his hand out in an effort to keep her back. Buffy shakes were still evident and all she wanted was to be somewhere safe and warm with Spike, just make him better, make him okay again.

Spike tilted his head; a sudden gentle look passing over his features "Should get inside, luv. Before you catch your death"

The Slayer looked up into his eyes "Death always seems to catch me anyway"

He blinked. A different look passed over his face. A predatory look.

One moment he was Spike, the next he wasn’t.

Above them the footsteps continued to advance across the stars.