A/N: Well, due to great demand (and keep it comin’) here’s another chapter of my fevered imagination -

18

Through the heavily curtained windows only a few slithers of sunlight came in through the dusty windows and flittered across her closed eyes. As she breathed in through her nose Buffy could smell the mildew and dust floating through the air and instantly knew she was not in her room. The Slayer had experienced this feeling before, sometimes in dangerous situations she had to sleep wherever was safe and convenient.

However as she flickered her eyes open and darkness greeted her she wasn’t sure if it was really morning at all. The train carriage floor was hard against her back and cold and the velvet blanket was thrown partly over her but left one leg bare and so she quickly shifted her limb back under.

The Slayer groaned and sat up slowly, her back was killing her from lying on such a hard surface she looked around and could see no detail just outlines of shapes as the tiny cracks of light illuminated just dust floating through the air mostly.

Buffy rubbed the back of neck and yawned then she looked down beside her and Spike wasn’t there. Buffy stood quickly and called out his name. When there was no reply she cursed and picked up her clothes pulling the wrinkled items on hurriedly. Once dressed the Slayer went to the windows and pulled the heavy curtains open instantly blinding herself with bright sunlight. The dust from the curtains flew through the air and choked her into a coughing fit.

When the dust settled she saw that on the table, written in the layer of thick dust Spike had scribbled a message down with the tip of his finger. It read: Thanks, Slayer. That was it; that was all there was. She looked over to the chest where she had found a pile of old clothes last night and saw Spike had taken some and then taken off.

“Vampires...they’re just so grateful” Buffy rolled her eyes, it was time to leave

Besides she had to find Spike now. Again.

Kicking the rusty door open was harder after the night she had had but the Slayer still managed it easily. Jumping out onto the gravel she reached back and slammed the door shut behind her. Then Buffy was twirling the scythe around with her as she set back on her long walk back home; maybe Spike had gone back. That would probably be too easy though.

By the time she did manage to get through the newly fixed gates by saying the password it was late morning and Buffy just wanted a shower and something to eat.

“Hey, Buffy” Dawn greeted her at the door “You look rough. Did you find Spike?”

“Oh yeah” Buffy spoke quietly then rolled her eyes “Well, I found him then lost him again. He isn’t here?”

Dawn looked worried “No ”

“I think he might just need a little time,” Buffy said putting the scythe down and hanging her coat up, working the cricks out.

“And Angel?” Her sister questioned.

“What about him?”

“Didn’t he find you two? Willow said

"he went out to find Spike and, well, he hasn’t been back. So, we assumed he was with you, lying low or...whatever” Dawn arched an eyebrow wryly.

Buffy shook her head, frowning “I never saw Angel”

“What? ”

“I never saw him”

“Buffy he’s been out all night, he didn’t come back” Dawn looked at her, wide-eyed.

The Slayer felt the sudden need to find Angel but she was aching badly and the slashes that Evil Giles had inflicted on her last night burned, the pains had not been improved due to the...situation with Spike last night. Check – no rampant vampire sex when dying of aches and pain – she made a note to herself.

Buffy went to the phone and called Giles at the hospital, told him about the Angel situation and he told her that it was best not to worry and that it was possibility that he had to take shelter somewhere else when sunlight hit, Buffy also mentioned the possibility that he might be in trouble. Giles told her he was coming home now but he insisted that she rest and get some sleep and that he and Willow would work on finding Angel. She had protested at first but the more Giles kept reinforcing the idea of a shower and some sleep the more tired and hurting Buffy felt. She finally agreed and hung up, walking upstairs to the bathroom.

Angel could take care of himself and Giles was probably right, he was probably just laying low for the day and he was fine. Buffy kept reminding herself of that all the way through her painful shower as the water stung her wounds and she even kept telling herself that as she crawled onto her bed and fell into blissfully ignorant sleep.

--------------------------------------------

When the glass shattered downstairs Buffy reacted instinctively even in her sleep, she had already jumped off the bed and her eyes were not yet open. That was the mark of a true professional. The Slayer ran out of her door and down the stairs not armed but that seemed less important then actually being downstairs to protect her friends.

All her pain was gone as she leapt the last ten steps and landed on the level ground in crouched position, she turned and ran toward the living room from which she was certain the breaking glass sound had come from. It was Spike that stood in the room which now seemed whole and perfect, even though it had been burnt badly by the fire, just like the vampire himself although you wouldn’t know it. Spike had both of his arms perfectly formed and attached to his body. Even more bizarrely Buffy knew it was Spike and not the demon that was impersonating him – she could just tell.

He looked different, though, there was darkness in his eyes that she hadn’t seen since the last time he had tried to kill her before he got the chip in his head. The corner of lip lifted when he saw her and he widened his eyes a fraction and then let them fall back to normal size, an eye flash, the thing he always did back when he was the predator and he thought of her as prey. Of course he was dressed in his usual Spike apparel – black jeans, boots, leather duster with the addition of a red shirt over the T-shirt that she hadn’t seen him wear for a long time.

Buffy faced him down, not sure why she felt the need to, but had to anyway. The Slayer’s fingers twitched in anticipation of something she never thought she would feel again towards Spike – the anticipation of a fight. He felt it too; she knew it because she knew him, even him in this slightly different outer shell.

“What is this?” She felt herself say but didn’t know where it came from.

He shrugged, pursed his lips then he lifted his eyebrows “Guess we’ll find out one day what we are”

Buffy shook her head “I never asked what we were...I asked what this is”

“Same question, luv” He replied and then began circling around so she too had to circle him, like boxers in the ring, panthers in the night “To work out what this is all about we have to work out what we are all about”

“What do you even mean?”

Spike smiled a smile that she rarely saw on him, one of melancholy “When it comes down to it Buffy, and I mean when it really comes down to it...life or death, blood boiling, heart pounding, sweat pouring, knees shaking comes down to it, would you Buffy the Vampire Slayer really choose me?”

She frowned “What?”

He rolled his eyes “You’ll get it. Unfortunately, it’ll be too late by then. Then again that’s always the way with life, eh? Kickin’ you when you’re down”

Before Buffy had a chance to asked him any more Spike jumped at her and he seemed to be suspended in mid-flight for a moment, his face morphing to vampire. Then, even though she had enough time to move when this suspended animation happened, Spike carried on his trajectory through the air towards her and crashed into her making her hit her head hard on the floor.

She heard herself whisper one word “Angel”

Blissfully ignorant darkness fell upon her.

------------------------------------------

When Buffy really awoke this time her eyes sprung open instantly and she sat bolt upright in bed, this time the pain did zigzag it’s way across her back and down her side but she did her best to ignore it. She threw her legs over the side of the bed and stood too fast, so that her eyes saw dots, but that was not Buffy’s main concern at the moment. She dressed quickly and then ran down the stairs pulling her hair into a band at the same time and really hoping that dream hadn’t meant anything.

The Slayer turned as she got to the bottom of them stairs and saw the living room was still blackened by the flames that had licked at it, she let out a breath not of relief but just because she hadn’t breathed since she had woken.

Buffy ran into the canteen and skidded to a halt in the doorway as everyone turned around to look at her like she was a crazy person. Buffy looked at the clock on the wall that told her it was already late afternoon she had slept far too long. She walked briskly over to the table where Willow, Wesley and Giles were hunched over books and she sat down in front of them.

“Please tell me you found Angel”

Giles sighed and looked old beyond his years “Buffy...no...no, we didn’t ”

“Why didn’t you wake me?” The Slayer was getting frantic “Has Spike been back?”

“No” He said even more wearily.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” She asked again.

Giles rubbed the bridge of his nose “You needed to rest Buffy, you were hurt badly and needed to sleep so that you could recuperate –”

“Recuperate!” Buffy’s voice was rising and girls were turning to look “Giles, we don’t know where Angel or Spike is, me recuperating is the last thing on my mind”

Giles’ voice rose also “Yes, well, maybe it shouldn’t be. You need to look after yourself Buffy, you can't always do everything and Angel and Spike are both big boys, they can take care of themselves”

“They’re also vampires who fry in the sun!” Buffy stood so abruptly that her chair screeched along the floor and everyone turned to look.

The Slayer turned on her heel and walked out of the canteen but she heard footsteps behind her and knew it was Giles. She grabbed her jacket from the coat rack and pulled on some boots then she went down to the basement and retrieved the scythe and a couple of daggers. When she came back up the stairs Giles was leaning against the front door blocking her exit.

“Buffy,” Her Watcher said softly “You understand that I have your best interests at heart, Spike and Angel –”

“They are my best interests, Giles,” Buffy’s voice softened also and she bit her lip to keep herself from crying even though she didn’t know anything had actually happened to the vampires but, knowing their track records, it had, “I love him”

His shoulders sagged and he stepped aside from the doorway “Do you need any help?”

“I have to do this alone,” Buffy said pulling the door open “I am going to find them and then...well, I haven’t figured it out that far on but I’m betting I’ll come up with something”

Giles nodded and the Slayer walked to him and gave a short but intimate hug, his warmth surrounded her for a moment and she let it before she drew back and turned to leave from the door. She was half way down the path in the afternoon darkness when she heard him call out to her.

“Buffy, you said you loved him. Not them” Giles looked her in the eyes “Whom do you love? Spike or Angel?”

Buffy paused, then shrugged “Don’t ask me Giles. ’Cos I don’t have a clue”

A/N: Dreams are fun. Remember that kiddies! Review, my dears.

A/N: Thanks for the review. Sorry the dream was “el bizarro” (hee hee) but it was Buffy’s dream not mine! And dreams usually are bizarre. Oh and if you thought the last few chapters were confusing ....

19

She didn’t know where to start looking for either of them but she doubted that wherever they were they were there together. Spike, she didn’t think, was in any immediate danger the Slayer figured he just wanted some time to himself but Angel had gone missing and not called and he would never do that unless he was in danger.

So Angel was in danger and considering the only real type of danger they had had at the moment were the clone demons she decided that their lair would be a good place to start looking for him. Buffy could have taken help with her but it would pretty much be moot because as far as any of them knew the Spike and Buffy demons were the only ones left and Giles and Willow etc wouldn’t be much use against them – it would have been handy to have Spike along but that wasn’t gonna happen.

The Slayer passed a few people on the streets but none looked particularly shocked to see her carrying the scythe around anymore, she guess the word had definitely spread about the Slayer Sanctuary. It was bad in a way because it meant they lost the element of surprise but then Buffy had always wondered how long they would be able to use the excuse that they were a ‘abused women’ home.

“Hey, lady”

Buffy turned and saw a young boy stood behind her; he was about fourteen, blond, blue-eyed, every parents dream kind of kid “Yeah?”

“Are you her?” He asked, eyes widening, “Are you her?”

“You are gonna have to be more specific kid...I have to go...” She sighed and turned back around to keep walking.

“Are you gonna rescue him?”

Buffy froze and turned to look back at the boy “Rescue who?”

“Angel, of course”

Buffy walked up to him, a step away “How do you know about Angel?”

“Everyone knows about Angel!” He grinned “And Willow and Giles and Faith! She’s hot; I mean you are too...”

“How do you know all this?”

“Everyone knows it” The kid shrugged “Oh, hey, do you think you’ll be able to do it? Save him from those freaky demons that stole all your identities...? Oh, hey, you might be the demon! Crap!”

Buffy watched with much confusion as the teenager turned on his heel and ran away from her as fast as he could. She looked on for a few minutes before she turned, shook her head, and ran toward the demons lair where, strangely enough, the kid had informed her Angel was being held. She rounded corners in blurred speed and got even more freaked out when people started coming out of their houses to watch her and cheer her on.

“Go Buffy!” One yelled.

“Save him! He’s soo gorgeous!” Cried another.

“Kill ’em, girl! Kill ’em!”

The Slayer was more then just puzzled but she decided her puzzlement could wait until Angel was safe and sound and then she’d work on this mystery. The demon’s house loomed ahead and she slowed then came to a halt as she saw Spike, the Evil Spike, leaning against the porch pillar casually and waiting for her. He nodded at her and lit up a cigarette, took a puff, and then beckoned her over with one hand.

Buffy felt the tingle up her spine, the one that told her she should not go in there because they knew she was coming and she had no back-up and that left her with a way big disadvantage. That tingle had always prepared her for the worse but had never stopped her walking into those situations anyway. She had once referred to it as her ‘spider sense’ and that was an accurate term as any...if you knew much about Spiderman.

She shifted the scythe slightly in her hand and then walked slowly and purposefully toward him. They both knew she couldn’t hurt him and they both knew she was going into that house without a struggle.

Evil Spike moved toward the front door and opened it for her, the leather of his long duster cracked as he moved. He wore leather pants, a black shirt and the duster and boots and he was every bit the look-alike of Spike. Buffy moved past him into the door, always keeping one eye on him, she could smell his scent of smoke, blood and death just like her Spike.

Evil Spike shut the door behind himself as he followed her inside through the entrance hall which all looked very nice and normal, pastel shades, wooden flooring somewhere so...human. Yet so demon, obviously.

The demon walked around and past her and made it clear that she was to follow him and so she did she followed him like lamb to the slaughter. He walked down to the basement door and opened it, turning the light on and illuminating the darkness. Buffy’s senses screamed at her not to go down there, not with him, here. However Buffy’s heart reminded her that Angel was here and her heart always won over her senses no matter how foolish that was.

The stairs down the basement reminded her of her own one, in fact the whole house was similar to hers yet it was a place of evil and that was not similar. She reached the last step, remembering the last time she had been down here and rescued the two women that the demons had been planning to meld with or whatever they did.

Now though Angel lay on the floor of the basement, the middle of the floor, with his wrists and ankles bound in thick sailing rope. He was shirtless and his back seemed to be covered in black dirt like coal maybe. He looked up at her and shook his head indicating that she should not have come here at least not alone.

Buffy went to run to him but Evil Spike grabbed her wrist and pulled her back, kept her in place. She tried to shake free of his cold hand; she hated this demon for hurting Spike the way he had. Angel apart from being tied up and dirty looked unharmed. Her eyes studied him looking for even the slightest cut but she could not find it, he looked at her with his brown eyes and told her that she needed to get out of there now. She shook her head refusing and instead gripped tighter on the scythe while really wishing she could slice off Evil Spike’s head of with it.

“Hey, you,” Came a voice she definitely recognized “I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time now. I had hoped it would be under better circumstances but...”

Buffy looked up from Angel and saw herself striding confidently from the dark shadows, arms loose at her sides and an easy expression on her face. Now, this demon she could fight but as she tried to pull away from Evil Spike he gripped hold of her wrist tighter to keep her where she was. Evil Buffy was dressed in much more slutty apparel then the real Buffy would have been seen dead in. She wore a black halter neck top that showed way too much cleavage and a pair of leather pants that were way too tight, with knee high lace up boots. Her hair was down in soft shiny golden waves and her eyes were ringed heavily with kohl, her lips painted a very dark crimson.

“I can’t get away with that shade of lipstick,” Buffy pointed out, looked herself in the eyes.

Evil Buffy smiled “I think you can. Do you, Spike?”

“You can get away with anything, luv,” Evil Spike grinned, giving Evil Buffy a lusty look.

Buffy looked at Evil Spike and her own counterpart and sighed “You two? Kind of taking the copying my life thing a little too seriously”

“Ooh, can we keep her?” Evil Spike asked eyeing up Buffy “We could have some good times, the three of us, some very good times...”

Buffy grimaced “Eww...”

Evil Buffy smiled “Much fun could be had but I’m willing to bet she’s not up for that idea, are you honey?”

“I don’t think no would be a strong enough word,” Buffy said firmly “I came for Angel”

“I’m sure you did but you realize that this is a trap of the biggest kind, right?”

“Yeah, I figured”

“I figured that you’d figure but what I didn’t figure on was that you wouldn’t figure on bringing any of your little friends,” Evil Buffy frowned “Did any of that make sense?”

Evil Spike shook his head “Very little, luv”

Buffy had had enough of this, when Evil Spike wasn’t ready she suddenly shoved away from him and made a run for her demon double. She leapt over Angel who lay on the floor and jumped into herself, which was very weird indeed. They hit the floor already fighting and as Buffy tried to use the scythe against Evil Buffy the demon slapped it out of her hands and it went skidding over the floor. Buffy punched the demon in the face and, God, was it weird. She had discussed it with Dawn before but hitting someone that looked like her in the face felt stranger then she could have imagined. It felt even more strange when she felt her double punch her in the face, that, and she felt a lot of pain.

Buffy straddled Evil Buffy and grabbed her around the neck, strangling her. She heard the withdrawing of a weapon and turned expecting Evil Spike to be coming for her but instead she saw something much worse.

“Get off of her, now!” Evil Spike said through gritted teeth as he wrapped his arm tighter around Angel’s neck as he held him up against his own body, Angel’s hands tied behind his own back.

Buffy slowly released the pressure on the demon’s neck and stood turning around to face her two old boyfriends, or at least one old boyfriend and a fake.

“Good choice, luv,” Evil Spike nodded and he pressed the point of the stake a little bit harder into Angel’s chest over his heart.

“Don’t kill him,” Buffy warned.

“Yes,” Evil Buffy stood “Don’t kill him. I’m not done with him”

Buffy turned to look at her demon double and arched an eyebrow, the way she had said that had sounded vaguely obscene and then Buffy saw the way Evil Spike’s eyes flashed with a little hurt and she had to wonder whether Evil Buffy had the hot’s for Angel and Evil Spike was jealous. It was like a bad soap opera...and it was exactly like her life.

“Buffy,” Angel rasped because the arm was still around his neck “Get outta here!”

“She can’t leave now,” Evil Spike grinned, fire back in his eyes “The festivities haven’t even begun to start, yet!”

Evil Buffy smiled and walked past her towards the demon with white blond hair. She walked up behind him and curled an arm over his shoulder and down towards his chest behind Angel’s back. Buffy watched as Evil Buffy took the bottom of Evil Spike’s ear between her teeth and pulled on it a little, she whispered something in his ear that made him chuckle dirtily.

“Do I have to see the show?” Buffy feigned boredom.

Evil Buffy looked up at her “You lived the show, honey”

The two demons laughed at that and then Evil Spike turned his head toward his evil girlfriend and kissed her long and deep. Buffy started to move toward Angel but one of Evil Spike’s eyes opened and fixed on hers as he tightened his grip on the stake at Angel’s heart. He proceeded to kiss Evil Buffy, with god knows how many tongues involved, whilst watching Buffy and she suspecting it was half to make sure she didn’t come any closer and half for his enjoyment.

Buffy turned her eyes to Angel who looked really pissed off and motioned to Buffy that he was going to make a move against Evil Spike but she shook her head, it would do them no good because they couldn’t hurt him and Angel was tied up anyway. The person they really needed was –

“Well, luv, you never show me that much affection,” Spike said from his position on the staircase and they all turned to look as he jumped over the banister and landed in-between the face stealing demons and Buffy.

Spike was dressed in clothes that Buffy never would have betted on seeing him in and she realized they were the old clothes from the train carriage. He wore a white shirt with large billowy sleeves, laced up at the neckline but loosely enough that you could see the top of his pectoral muscles, it looked like something out of one of those period dramas – one sleeve was tied up against his body to keep it out of his way. He also wore beige pants that he had tucked his shirt into and knee high boots, Buffy looked at him and was reminded of the scene in Pride and Prejudice with Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy but Spike was way hotter and also with only one arm.

“Well, well,” Evil Spike grinned, keeping the stake at Angel’s heart “It looks like Long John Silver has arrived! Instead of a peg leg, give the man something for his arm!”

Spike laughed grabbed a section of the stair banister and pulled it off, twirled it around like a samurai sword “You haven’t got it, mate. You haven’t got what it takes to be me. So, come on then I’ll take all of you Nancy’s on, with one arm!”

Evil Spike laughed and threw Angel down to the floor and then ran at him, a wicked grin on his face, and stake ready to stab him in the heart. Spike grinned an identical grin and brought the wood down to hit Evil Spike on the head. The demon fell to the floor where Spike proceeded to hit him over and over again.

Buffy took the opportunity to launch her own attack on the demon with her face. Evil Buffy caught her in mid-air as she had been attempting to leap on her and threw her headfirst into a wall, very much dazing her. The Slayer slid to the floor and groaned, rolled out of the way just in time before her own scythe nearly decapitated her. The blade instead clanged into the concrete floor and sparks flared up, Buffy jumped to her feet and turned to see her evil twin wielding the weapon of the Slayers.

“That doesn’t belong to you,” Buffy spat “Just like my face, my body and my life doesn’t belong to you”

Evil Buffy twirled the scythe around “Possession is nine tenths of the law, honey”

“Stop calling me that”

“What would you prefer? Buffy? That would be a little confusing”

“No, it wouldn’t,” Buffy said getting into a defensive stance “You call me Buffy and I’ll call you bitch!”

As she ran at her mirror image Buffy was vaguely aware of the fact that the two Spikes’ were still fighting and that even with one arm her Spike was holding his own. Angel was still struggling on the floor trying to worm free of his bindings and she knew that if the rope weren’t as thick as it was Angel would have been able to snap it by now. These demons really knew what they were doing, she realized, it made her think that they had been studying them for a long time.

The scythe came up toward her face and she blocked it by catching the handle, which ended up in a major cat fight between the two Buffy’s and she wasn’t beneath a little girly fighting when it was necessary. Buffy kicked Evil Buffy in the shin and the look on the demon’s face was one of hurt and disappointment. Buffy just shrugged and grabbed the scythe back from her before delivering a snap kick to Evil Buffy hard enough that she fell to the floor on her back. Buffy twirled the scythe and brought it up high above her head ready to bring it back down onto the face-stealing bitch.

That action got interrupted by a strong-arm curling around her neck and lifting her off the floor, Buffy was betting on Evil Spike. He twirled around and let her go and Buffy flew through the air and hit her head against the stone steps.

Blackness.

A/N: I make no apologies for confusing the hell out of you. All will be explained...probably. This is so stale it’s like stinky yak cheese in Willow’s bra but – REVIEW!

A/N: This chapter was so long I had to split it. Oh and complexity they name is Rekindling Old Flames...

The first thing Buffy noticed as she stirred was the smell, the smell of death. She knew that smell because she worked in it every day of her life it was like a thick blanket enveloping her and it had become something that she was very much used to even if she was not yet comfortable with that.

It was cold where she lay, she felt gravel between her fingers and she spat dirt from her mouth, the chill wind whipped around her.

It was the sounds that finally got her to open her eyes. The sounds of chanting, not ritual or sacrificial chanting but the chanting that reminded her vaguely of a football or basketball match. Her eyes opened and all she saw at first was the golden brown dust of the ground that she lay on. Then Buffy slowly, clutching the side of her head sat up and the cheers rose abruptly, screams of exhilaration and excitement. It was needless to say that these were screams Buffy was not used to waking up to. Screams of pain, terror and fear she was used to but not ones of encouragement and rapture.

She blinked and the sight that greeted her nearly took her breath away. Buffy Summers was sitting in the middle of a stadium that reminded her of the pictures Giles had shown her of the old gladiator theatres from ancient Rome.

Of course as far as she knew Flower Meadows was not home to one of those stadiums so she had to figure that they were in the athletics stadium which had been covered in dust for the clay soccer that took place some weeks. It wasn’t the actual structure of the round stadium that reminded her so much of the gladiator stadiums it was that the stands were filled to capacity with people screaming her name and holding up signs that said things like ‘Go Buffy!’ and ‘Buffy we love you’. It was bizarre to say the least and for a moment she thought she was dreaming.

Buffy looked up above her and saw that there was no roof on the stadium and that, instead, she could see the night sky, dark and full of stars, beautiful really. The screaming caused her to look back down again and she was confused. Why was she here and why were people shouting her name like she was the next Kobe Bryant or whatever?

Buffy stood and everyone in the stands stood too, jumped up and down and screamed their cheers of encouragement at her. The Slayer, for her part, wasn’t sure what they expected her to do...a little song and dance routine maybe? No, for a strange reason she had a feeling they were out for something a little more entertaining.

The Slayer’s head still hurt like a bitch and the continuous chanting was not doing anything to help that. Buffy looked down at herself and was more than a little surprised to see she was wearing a long white silk dress. It was sleeveless but straps held it up and the bodice fitted tight against her, pushing her breasts up and offering them to anyone and everyone. It floated down over her hips with plenty of room to move her legs all the way down to the ground where it dragged through the dirt – such a shame.

Her head throbbed and as her fingertips danced along the bruise that was appearing there Buffy remembered how she had hit her head in the first place. The demons. She spun around and was greeted with a sight that would stay with her many years down the line, always crystal clear and sharp with no hope of her ever forgetting a single detail of it.

The crowd noise level hit fever pitch as she saw what had been behind her and was now in front of her in all of it’s macabre glory.

Buffy’s eyes widened as she saw Spike and Angel both dressed in evening formal suits each tied to giant stakes pushed firmly into the ground.

There were large stacks of wood piled around the foot of each of the stakes and both vampires were tied securely with rope tied around their stomachs and their hands fixed at the back of the stakes no doubt tied tightly also. One thick length of rope was tied around each of their necks and around to the back of the stakes to keep their heads from lolling and Buffy was betting, though she could not see their feet beneath the stacks of wood, that their ankles were tied tight too.

She froze though she knew she should be running to free them, to take in the sights of her two slumbering lovers. Angel’s eyes were closed and he looked peaceful even though Buffy knew that he was unconscious and not sleeping. He was dressed in a black tuxedo, with a white shirt and black bow tie. The jacket fit him tailor made tightly over his broad chest and shoulders, the sleek lines complementing him perfectly.

Buffy’s eyes moved to Spike, he too looking as peaceful as he had done for a long time. His tuxedo jacket was white matching his hair to perfection. His pants were black and his bow tie too, his shirt fitted tight against his chest and one arm of his jacket was pinned up against his shoulder. The suit also complemented Spike’s sinewy body, his lean, hard, muscle.

Buffy realized that the demons had probably used their counterparts to do the fitting on – that they had never intended on killing Spike or Angel, it had been part of the plan to keep them alive. To make Buffy suffer.

“Spike!” She yelled and started running towards them “Angel!”

Buffy felt hands grabbing at her arms and pulling her back, she fought against them but they were strong and eventually she was pushed to her knees on to the dirt floor. Her arms were held behind her back and she was pushed forward slightly so she had to crane her neck upwards to look upon the two vampires.

“Now, now,” She heard the familiar voice say, “Can’t have you ruining the show”

Buffy looked behind her and saw Giles holding her down, Giles and Xander. The confusion must have shown on her face because they both laughed and Giles pushed her head back to face the vampires just in time for her to see her evil clone step out from behind Angel’s stake. She clapped loudly and the sound from the audience died down and then eventually fell to a hushed whisper.

“We got reinforcements,” Evil Buffy told her motioning to the two demons that held her back.

They had made more and now she was in deep.

“What is this? What are you doing?” Buffy’s eyes locked onto ones that were identical to her own, yet so very much different.

“Well, I thought that was fairly obvious,” Evil Spike swung out from behind Spike’s stake, a wide grin on his face “We’re burning your boyfriends alive”

“No!” Buffy struggled against Evil Giles and Evil Xander pushing back against them but she could not harm them, could not shake them because their spell was too powerful. They pushed her back down and tightened their grip on her till it hurt so much she cried out.

“That’s not exactly true,” Evil Buffy looked over at her paramour and tsked before she looked back at the real Buffy “We’re burning one of them”

“Why?”

“Because, these people came here for a blood boiling, heart pounding, sweat pouring, knees shaking show and...we’re gonna give it to them” Evil Buffy grinned with triumph.

The crowd roared to life again, clapping, whistling, some of them booing the demons but only in a good-natured pantomime way.

Buffy turned to look at the crowd and yelled as loud as she could “What the hell are you all doing? This isn’t some kind of game! How can you stand there and cheer when they’re gonna kill people? How can you do this?”

Her answer was a loud crescendo of screams and shouts, celebration and whooping and all of the things that told Buffy that they were either hysterical or they were under a spell of some sort. She turned and saw how the demons reveled in all the attention they were getting, they grinned and kissed each other, loving every minute of it and suddenly Buffy understood it.

“This is what you want...” She spoke, loud enough so that they could hear “You want to be famous, popular, you want...”

“Power ” Evil Buffy smiled looking into her eyes.

Buffy looked at her, gritting her teeth and with hatred in her eyes “And this was the only way you could get it? To become my friends and me? To do this?”

“Please,” She rolled her eyes “Everyone knows that Slayers are the new ‘in’ thing”

“They know you’re not the real me, I mean, hello? I’m right here” Buffy pointed out.

“Yeah, but everyone loves a good villain” Evil Buffy grinned “Besides, it’s not really the human world we care about, it’s the demon one. With a stunt like this we will be revered. Say, you know what? I think it’s time to wake the guys up, huh? What do you all think?”

She addressed the crowd and they all began to cheer and clap and scream for her to do, to do it but all Buffy wanted was for them to keep talking and leave Angel and Spike alone. She had wanted to stall whatever they were planning but now it seemed inevitable. She too watched as the two lead demons, Evil Buffy and Evil Spike, each picked up cattle prods that had been lying against each of the stakes and turned them on. Buffy knew what they were going to do but she still flinched with pain when they each brought the tip of the prod to the chest each of the vampires. Both Angel and Spike’s eyes shot open and they let out cries of pain as their whole bodies convulsed from the shocks the prods were giving them.

“Stop!” Buffy screamed.

And they did.

Angel and Spike let out moans and groans and looked around not sure where the hell they were or what was going on. Eventually, though, both sets of eyes rested on Buffy and she felt their confusion in the weight of their gazes.

“So, back to the number one question, luv” Evil Spike twirled the cattle prod around like a showman as he looked at her “Who’s it gonna be?”

“What?” Buffy looked at him.

“Who’s gonna burn?” His evil eyes twinkled.

“Yes, Buffy, who?” Evil Buffy stood between the two stakes and held her arms up in the air “Who’s it gonna be? The brunette or the blond? Pacey or Dawson? Chachi or Richie? Starsky or Hutch?”

Spike groaned deeply “I resent...being compared to that prat Dawson...”

“...Ditto...but with the Chachi thing...” Angel rasped.

“You can’t ask me to choose,” Buffy said, looking her mirror image in the eyes “You can’t ask me to do that”

“I think I just did. Come on, girl, one of them gets burned and the other you get to keep...get to live happily ever after with...” Evil Buffy leaned a hand against each of the stakes, eyebrow arched.

A/N: Are you confused? I am...and I know the ending. But it will all be explained. Maybe. : ) Review.

Buffy snorted “You really expect me to believe you’re gonna let me live?”

“Sure. You’ll live. Of course, we’ll lock you and your chosen lover boy away someplace you won’t ever escape but you’ll be alive,” Evil Buffy smiled “We’re not completely heartless”

The Slayer rolled her eyes “More likely is you don’t want to kill me because another Slayer will be called”

“Well, yeah. There are enough of your filthy lot already” Evil Spike spat on the ground “Bloody bitches, stalking around in the night and killing us. Think your so high and mighty, makes me sick it does. There are hundreds of you...we don’t need one more”

Buffy took a breath “You really think that the other Slayers, my friends, aren’t gonna come looking for you and kill you?”

“How can they? Only you could hurt me, Slayer,” The female demon said “And you’ll be in captivity”

“And only he could hurt me,” Evil Spike looked at Spike and snorted “And that isn’t likely, is it?”

Buffy looked at Angel, looked into his warm brown eyes and he nodded slightly at her, told her to make the decision and not to worry if she didn’t choose him. All in that one glance he sent out his message to her – that he loved her, he trusted her and whatever choice she made would be the right one.

Buffy turned to look at Spike, his beautiful blue eyes looked back at her and he gave her a devil-may-care grin followed by a wink. He too, would not influence her decision, he too wanted her choice to be hers alone and he certainly wasn’t going to beg for his life.

It was too damn hard because they were both so diplomatic about it she would have given anything for one of them to beg her to let them live but it just wasn’t their style. Buffy frowned and she scratched that thought because she would not have done anything for one of them to beg her she would have done anything for all three of them not to be in this situation, for them to be reclining on some beach chairs on the sunny coasts of the Caribbean – they of course wouldn’t be vampires, just normal guys. She could see it now, Angel with a straw hat on, Spike sipping a coconut drink with a wreath of flowers around his neck. Both would be wearing Hawaiian shirts and shorts with sunglasses perched on their noses, she would be sitting in-between looking killer in her bikini and sarong. But she was really getting off track now.

“Please,” Buffy pleaded with the two demons “Don’t do this”

“Oh, we’re not gonna do this,” Evil Spike grinned.

Evil Buffy smiled “You are. You have to choose Slayer. Who’s it gonna be? Angel or Spike?”

The demon woman walked around Angel and laid her hand on his chest, brushing her hand all the way across him as she carried on walking toward Spike who she also then placed her hand on his chest and caressed him. She stopped to stand by Spike tied to the stake and then she looked at her Spike, Evil Spike, and she smiled a wicked lusting smile. She leaned into Evil Spike and whispered something in his ear – he looked up at Spike tied to the stake and raised an eyebrow, smirked.

“Tell you what, Buff,” Evil Buffy folded her arms over her chest “We’ll let the guys both give you some parting words, huh? That should be fun, right?”

The crowd began to scream with excitement again.

Evil Spike marched over to Angel and gave him a very nasty look “You first, pretty boy”

Angel gave him a very similar look and said nothing so the demon pressed the cattle prod into his chest and fired a couple of hundred volts into him making him shake and buck until Buffy cried out his name because she thought he might burn from the inside out.

“Angel, please,” Buffy said, whatever will buy us a few more minutes she added silently but he nodded slowly, he got it.

The vampire with a soul cleared his throat, took a few moments “Buffy...I...I’m not really sure what to say, I’ve never had to talk to save my life before. I’ve killed, I’ve fought and I’ve battled to save my life and the lives of those around me but when it comes down to words I’m not the champion. So, I’ll just say it as best I can. I love you. I’ll always love you. There will never be any girl who comes half as close to owning my heart the way you do, even when I...went bad, turned evil I still had the memory of how much I had loved you and it was so strong that it made me want to wash away all thoughts of humanity from my mind. But I couldn’t. You’re always here, with me...in my heart and in my head every second, even when we’re apart. I’m not gonna ask you to choose me just because these demons wanna play their little mind games but just know this...I believe in you and whatever you do, I get it. I understand you wholly. Make the choice or don’t...get us all outta this alive or get us all killed, I’ll take your side every time, Buffy”

The Slayer’s eyes were all for him then. She blocked out the crowd, the demons, everyone until it was just her and Angel. She looked into those eyes of his and knew that every word he had just spoken was absolutely true – that he would be in this with her, and everything and anything else until the end. He would follow her into the depths of hell if she wanted.

“Well,” Evil Spike snorted and walked over to the other vampire on the stake “That’s gonna be a hard one to top. You can see all the tears glistening in the sweet little Slayer’s eyes, what have you got to say, mate?”

Spike kept his eyes on Buffy but spoke to the demon “I am not your mate, mate. So back off, yeah? This is a private thing”

“Sure,” Evil Spike nodded and then chuckled “It’ll be just between you and her...and about nine hundred other people”

“Spike” Buffy looked deeply into those azure eyes.

“Buffy, luv,” He nodded “We both know I’m not one to bow out of a fight. I love a good brawl, love it when things boil down to just fist and fang...but this, this is not my thing. I know when I’m beat. So, let’s be perfectly honest with each other for once, luv. You love Angel. You do not love me. I’ve been wracking my brains to come up with something deep and meaningful...a decent epitaph, right? But I’ve never been an academic, a man of words...the pen is mightier then the sword, well, that never applied to me. I prefer a good sword. We’ve got history, you and me – it’s a sordid history but a history nevertheless. You and Angel...you got this eternal love deal all the bloody seconds of all the bloody days, I see it, even if I didn’t already know it. I see the way you look at each other...I’d kill for anyone to have ever looked at me in that way just for a split second. Especially if that someone had been you.

I’ve already died twice, Buffy, what’s one more between Slayer and vampire? I love you, you know it but it doesn’t matter...’cos not much does nowadays. Tell you the truth, pet? I always dreamed of having a girl like you. You, me, riding down the gold coast, wind in our hair...you know the deal. Of course, you would probably by driving the bloody bike knowing you” Spike chuckled “But I’d take it anyway I could get. You deserve better than me, you deserve someone who you can trust, who you can give yourself to completely. I’d like to think that was me. But it’s not. And it never will be. So, decisions, decisions, pet. When it comes down to it, it’s always you who has to make the decision because you’re her, the Slayer and still the one and only to me. Thankyou, Buffy Summers, for lettin’ me be in your life for a little while”

The Slayer looked at him with unwavering attention and she felt the warm droplets of liquid running down her cheeks before she consciously realized that she was crying. It wasn’t wracking sobs, that would come later, but they were trailing silently down her face. She tried to understand what he had just said but it sounded so unlike the Spike she knew. He was worn away; the loss of his limb...the night in her arms had taken something out of him. He was a shell of the man he had once been.

She watched as his lips silently formed the words ‘do it’.

“I hate to break up the moment, guys,” Evil Buffy spoke suddenly in the complete silence of the stadium and turned to look at the kneeling Slayer “Choose”

“They’ll come for me,” Buffy said, lips trembling, eyes still on Spike “My friends will come for me and then you’ll all burn”

Evil Spike chuckled “Doubtful. See we sent them a few of our other reinforcements. They’ll be occupied for a while yet. Long enough time for us to be long gone”

Buffy turned to the crown, desperate “Help me!”

None of them responded, just cheered like it was some goddamn game.

“They’re enchanted,” Evil Buffy informed her cupping her hand to her mouth as though it was a secret not to be shared.

Out of the corner of her eyes Buffy saw a flicker of light and turned towards it. Evil Spike strolled across the stadium to meet up with someone who from that distance Buffy could see looked like Willow who handed him a torch. They had copied Giles, Xander and Willow again and god knows whom they had sent to the Slayer Sanctuary to keep the gang away. Willow stood slightly to the side of the two stakes a few feet away and started doing a strange little jig with her foot. It caught Buffy’s attention and she frowned, the demon Willow looked her in the eyes and Buffy suddenly felt lightheaded.

“Buffy,”

The Slayer shook her head; there was something wrong with her...a headache.

“Buffy, it’s me, it’s Willow,” The Slayer turned to face the redhead and narrowed her eyes at the voice in her head “It’s really me, I swear. I’ll prove it to you. Remember that time, in high school when you told me you had that dream about Snyder, the one where a loincloth and ringing bells were heavily involved...”

Buffy had never been so relieved to see her friend ever and she let out a sigh.

“Okay, Willow, I believe you” Buffy answered back in her mind, a blush creeping over her face “How did you get in here?”

“I’ll explain later. Buffy, we need to act now. Angel and Spike...” The expression on the Wicca’s face was pained.

Buffy gave one swift nod “I can’t do anything about the two demons holding me”

“Ah ha! That’s where you’re wrong, we finally got the spell to reverse their spell” Willow smiled.

“Well, use it!” Buffy pleaded keeping one eye on Evil Spike and he waved the torch around showing it to the crowd.

Willow looked a little worried “It will reveal me to them. They’ll know I’m not one of them. Then you’ll only have seconds to act...”

“Do it!” Buffy gave her friend and look, a thanks and then turned back to look at Angel and Spike struggling against their constraints as Evil Spike menacingly waved the torch before their faces.

“Who do you pick to die, Buffy?” Evil Buffy asked and took the torch from her lover she dipped it too close to Angel’s pyre “This one?”

“No!” Buffy screamed.

“Then, this one” Evil Buffy flipped the torch over.

Before Buffy could scream out again the demon lit the pyre beneath Spike’s feet and the flames whooshed to life. Spike scrambled against his binding and Buffy struggled so hard against Evil Giles and Evil Xander she thought she would break her arms. In her peripheral hearing she heard Willow saying the spell and the demons attention turned to her. Buffy felt the magic around the demons weaken and then disappear as Evil Buffy and Evil Spike surrounded Willow. Buffy shot both of her elbows backward one catching Evil Giles in the knee and the other catching Evil Xander in the opposite knee. They both screamed and fell to the floor on their damaged knees. They held onto her arms though and as Buffy pulled and scratched and kicked to get away from them the one sight that filled her eyes was that of the fear in Spike’s eyes; his fear of being burned alive. The pyre at his feet got a breeze of air and the flames caught on his pant leg, he kicked and struggled even harder with his bindings. She heard a snap and saw Angel’s bindings weaken and give and he was almost free.

“Angel!” Buffy yelled as Evil Giles and Evil Xander pulled her roughly down onto her back on the floor “Help Spike!” She managed to scream before the two demons clambered on top of her and began to beat the crap out of her.

But she could fight back now and she did.

She drove the heel of her hand up hard against the demon Giles’ nose, so hard that his nose bone splinted and sliced upward into his brain. His eyes bulged and she kicked him away as he began to fall forward. He fell in a crumpled and bloody heap next to her. Evil Xander punched her twice in the face but she had had enough of his crap so she brought her knee up really hard in-between his legs and he gagged and grabbed at himself letting out an inhuman shriek. Buffy punched him in the face then reached up and grabbed his head, twisted until she heard the pop of his neck as it broke.

His heavy body fell on top of her and she lost precious seconds shoving him off and jumping to her feet. Willow was using her magick to break the bindings around Spike as the fire trailed up his leg and sweat beaded his forehead, he closed his eyes and screamed. Buffy started to run to help him until she saw Angel fighting both her evil double and Evil Spike. He was still weak from the cattle prods and being tied up and they were wailing on him pretty badly. Buffy looked back from Angel and Spike and she ran to help Angel.

She grabbed Evil Spike around the back of his neck and threw him to the floor. He looked up at her and grinned, licking his lips sexually. She lifted her boot and stamped down on his face, he let out a groan but when she tried to do it again he caught her foot and twisted her foot painfully. Buffy fell to the floor and he crawled on top of her shoving her head into the ground with both of his hands and pinning her at the waist with his muscular hips. He slammed her head into the ground twice and she could look up enough just to see Willow pulling Spike away from the burning stake, she let out a sigh of relief. As Willow started magically dousing the fires on Spike, Buffy drove her elbow back into Evil Spike’s jaw and he fell limply on her. She threw him off and rolled onto him straddling him.

“Fun while it lasted” He sighed.

Buffy killed him.

The crowd’s screams droned out everything.

She stood and events seemed to slow down just enough so that Buffy could watch but not stop it. She saw Willow putting out the last of the fires on Spike and him turning to her, a grateful look in his eyes. Angel lay on the floor unconscious and Buffy saw her demon counterpart come up behind Willow with the wooden pointy end of the scythe a fraction of a second before Spike did. Buffy called out Willow’s name and started towards her in what seemed like slow motion.

Spike grabbed Willow’s arm “Red, move!” He shoved her to the side so hard that she fell to the floor.

Evil Buffy continued her forward momentum and the stake lodged itself deep into the chest of the vampire Buffy loved.

Buffy ground to a stop less than a meter away from Spike “No...” She whispered

His eyes bulged and he looked down at his chest then back up at Buffy, he took a shuddering breath and a stumbling step toward her. He pitched forward and Buffy caught him in her arms, the weight of him made her sink down to her knees with him. She felt his lips against her neck, a whisper in her ear and then he turned to dust. Buffy closed her eyes and felt the dust shower over her, coating her skin.

She took a long deep breath and balled her hands together in fists, handfuls of the dust in her palms.

There was a slight sound behind her, she heard Willow cry out her name.

Buffy whirled around lightening fast and threw the dust, Spike, into the eyes of her demon double.

Evil Buffy stumbled backward arm holding the scythe outwards away as she rubbed at her eyes. Buffy stood and took the scythe from the demon. Whirling around in an arc with the grace of a ballerina Buffy decapitated the bitch.

Then the Slayer sunk back down on her knees with the unconscious form of Angel to her right; Willow crouched down next to her on her left and the crowd’s stunned and horrified faces in front of her. Buffy closed her eyes and felt Willow’s arm slide across her shoulders. She heard her friend talking but it didn’t register.

Spike’s last whisper floated through her mind “Made the right choice, luv”

She hadn’t made a choice. She hadn’t made a choice. She had never told them that she wanted Angel to live over Spike. It had been an accident. Hadn’t it?

A/N: Um...please don’t hate me? It’ll be worth it if you keep reading, Scout’s honour!

A/N: Again a long chapter that had to be split in two.

21

Somehow Buffy ended up back at the Slayer Sanctuary back in her room on the bed where Spike had once rested to heal his burns. She was betting Angel and Willow had carried her back. She had spent a long time up there not eating and definitely not sleeping because that would be impossible. She spent most of her time alone going back over the events that had unfolded that night, trying to see if she had made some imperceptible lean towards Angel that condemned Spike to death. She had a line of ‘what ifs’ running through her mind. What if she hadn’t slept that day, would she have found Angel sooner and rescued him without endangering the two vampires...What if she had been able to stall the demons longer...What if they had just come up with the reversal spell earlier...What if she had just made it to Spike those few seconds sooner.

In between those times Willow or Dawn or Xander of Giles would visit her, talk to her as if nothing were wrong, trying to keep her morale up. It had turned out, Willow had told her, that the reason people suddenly knew about Buffy and her friends was that a Professor Dante Green had published a daily newspaper chronicling ‘The Life of the Slayer’ and that they had become superstar types over night. Buffy had just shrugged at this, disinterested. Giles was taking the professor to court for invasion of privacy and deformation of character...he had written some very personal details that none of them knew how he had found out about. Again Buffy had been disinterested.

Xander had been discharged from hospital and he was now fine, Willow had magically healed her leg so that she could help Buffy in time. Everyone was unhurt and Buffy was truly thankful for that.

She hadn’t seen Angel since that night, she guessed he was purposefully staying away from her and that was probably wise because she still wasn't sure what she felt for him anymore.

One evening when Buffy ventured out of her room and downstairs she heard most of the gang in the canteen discussing patrolling tactics and whether a small group should be left back to protect the Sanctuary. Buffy took a breath and walked into the canteen dressed in gray sweats and a navy hooded top. Everyone turned to look at her and stare. Giles stood from his table and gave her his most reassuring face. The Slayer glided over to her friends and sat down between Xander and Willow not feeling entirely comfortable. They both leaned in and hugged her, comforting words whispered in her ear but she didn’t feel it.

“You must be Buffy”

She turned toward the voice that had come from just behind her and saw that she did not recognize the man. He was tall, six feet at least, and nicely muscled- broad shoulders, slender waist and muscled thighs. She could tell that even under the dark slacks, black blazer and forest green shirt he wore. His hair was a thick black mop on top of his head and his eyes blazed green. He had a gorgeous dimple in his chin and his jaw was square and masculine. The man gave her a warm smile and there were crinkle lines by his eyes. He held his hand out for her to shake.

Buffy looked the man in the eyes but did not reach for his hand “Who are you?”

“Oh, I assumed you had already been told. My name is Jack, Jack Hevin” His voice was deep, purring with warmth “I am your new local sorcerer. Of course, I’m no where near as good as Willow here”

Willow blushed “Aw, Jack. We both know that isn’t true”

He patted her shoulder “Thank you, Willow. Buffy, I feel like I know a lot about you already from those newsletters about you and your friends”

“More than you wanted to know, probably” Xander muttered.

“Are you staying here?” Buffy asked still impassive.

He shook his head “No, I...um...I’m in a hotel a few blocks away. It’s really nice to finally meet you, Buffy” He smiled again.

Buffy had the odd realization that this guy was flirting with her, either that or he was incredibly friendly to strangers. Jack’s smile was still beaming down at her and she knew she should return it at least out of politeness but she could not. She nodded instead and turned her back on the man looking down at the tabletop where her hands lay. A ripple of awkwardness ran through the table and Willow placed her hand on top of Buffy’s gently.

Jack cleared his throat and moved back around to Giles who wanted to discuss something with him. Buffy turned to Willow “Was he...?”

“Flirting with you?” Willow arched an eyebrow.

Buffy nodded.

“That’s a resounding yes,” Xander spoke to them “Guy was practically asking you to marry him”

“I wasn’t sure...it’s been so long since anyone flirted with me” Buffy sighed.

“You mean you haven’t noticed my advances?” Xander grinned.

The Slayer looked at Willow “I think I have to get out of here. I can’t cope with this...the last thing I need now is guys” She stood.

Willow kept hold of her hand “I’m always here”

“I know” She nodded “Thanks”

Buffy turned and left the canteen and she started to go back up the stairs to her room but abruptly changed her direction to turn down the hall and go down the basement. She knew Angel was down there this weekend, he came up every now and then and she knew he was now down there training before patrol. She walked down the steps and saw him running on the treadmill shirtless, his muscles rippling in his back. He did not turn as she reached the bottom step and looked around at the basement room. She saw a pile of clothes folded in one corner, all black but somehow she just knew they weren’t Angel’s clothes. Buffy started across the floor towards them and then the vampire did turn and notice her.

Angel jumped off of the treadmill and looked at her “Buffy”

“Angel” She stopped by the clothes, folded her arms over her chest and could not look him in the eyes – instead settled on the base of his neck “How are you?”

“I think the important question in how are you?” He picked up his sweater and pulled it on.

The Slayer shrugged “Alive”

“That’s not really an answer”

“That’s all I got” Buffy sighed, looked down at the pile of clothes “Whose are these?”

Angel cleared his throat, ran a hand through his hair “They’re...they’re Spike’s. The clothes you and Fred cut off of him when he was burned”

Buffy looked at the vampire a moment and then crouched down next to the clothes. She started to sift through them, cut up T-shirt, sliced jeans, all charred and completely burnt in places. Buffy placed those clothes back on to the floor and picked up Spike’s leather duster. It was completely undamaged because Spike hadn’t been wearing it the day he had been set on fire. She ran her hands over the old battered leather and then stood and looked at the coats full length.

“Buffy –” Angel started.

From her body language he could tell that she didn’t want to talk to him, he wasn’t there as far as she was concerned – this moment had nothing to do with Angel. She slipped her hand into the pocket of Spike’s coat and her hand brushed cold metal. She pulled out the silver Zippo lighter and flicked it open, starting the gas. The Slayer moved her hand to the next pocket and frowned, pulling out the talisman that had helped them three years ago against the army of Turok-han. She held it up and it glinted in the light, the tacky looking crystal spreading rainbow lights across the dark basement.

Angel stepped up closer “Is that...?”

“The talisman,” Buffy said, handed it to Angel “Here. It was yours to start with”

The vampire looked down at the necklace and then frowned looked up at Buffy with a very sad look in his eyes. She had no time for niceties, not when whenever she looked into those eyes she just felt a raw sort of ache around her heart. What she had lost.

She folded the duster over her arm and turned, started up the stairs and was almost to the door when Angel spoke.

“It wasn’t your fault, you know” His voice was gentle “It was no one’s fault. Spike...he...he knew that, he didn’t blame you”

Buffy took a deep breath, shoulders tensing and didn’t look back as she said, “Since when did you know what Spike thought?”

“Buffy,” He started up to the stairs.

“No, I can’t. I just can’t okay...” Buffy opened the door and stepped through “Letting him die once was bad enough, Angel, but twice...? I’m the Slayer and I was useless to him both times”

“No! You weren’t, you were –”

Buffy slammed the door behind her cutting off the vampire’s words. She turned and walked to the front door hearing every one of her steps on the floor, the sound echoing in her ears. Andrew was watching the door and as he saw her open it and step out he started to say something to her but Buffy just shut the door behind herself again.

The night was cold and Buffy looked at the coat on her arm, she pulled it on over her shoulders and slid her arms through the sleeves. Spike hadn’t been that much taller than her but the coat dusted her ankles and was a little looser than the fitted coats she usually wore. Still, it kept her warm and it carried his smell besides it looked pretty damn cool.

Buffy walked out through the gates of the Slayer Sanctuary and into the cold, dark night.

-----------------------------------------------------

The Demon Bar’s music was pulsing as usual, a frenetic sort of dance slash rock thing was booming out of the sound system but Buffy wasn’t too bothered about the dire taste in music. She sat on a barstool with her elbows propped up against the bar and her face turned down to look at the burnt and glass stained counter. Harry avoided her, as much as he could only coming over to top up her whisky chaser, he must have sensed that she was in a hell of a mood.

Buffy was absent-mindedly flicking the lid of the lighter open and closing it again. She lit the wick with a flick of her thumb and put her other hand over the flame feeling the heat against her cold palm. It came to the point when it almost hurt it was so close to her hand. Buffy closed the lighter lid and sighed she couldn’t even imagine what it must have felt like to be burnt. To suffer like Spike had.

Her dream came back to her suddenly, the one with Spike in it; his question “...would you Buffy the Vampire Slayer really choose me?” Her dreams had often been prophetic but she had also often misinterpreted them or just forgotten important details. If she had started paying attention, really paying attention she may have been able to stop what had happened to him.

She had realized, the moment she saw the spark – his soul – in his eyes disappear a second before he dusted, that she loved him. “You’ll get it. Unfortunately, it’ll be too late by then” Spike had always been more astute then he made out, even in her dreams it seemed.

Buffy had always loved Angel from as far back as she could remember and that was because he had been Angel, to her, from the beginning. She had not met Angelus until after she had already fallen for him. Spike had been a bloodthirsty killer when they first met and both of them had attempted to kill each other more times then she could count, so when Spike changed, really changed, and got his soul there was always a part of her holding back from him because she remembered what he had been like, what he had been capable of. She had experienced Spike’s evil firsthand when they met but with Angel she had only read about it in books until he had changed, it was easier to dismiss the words then the images that remained in her mind of Spike, vicious, ruthless and always with that wicked grin on his face.

Buffy swirled the alcohol around in the chaser glass and then inhaled it before downing it in one. She noticed a slimy green demon to the side of her eyeing her favorably. Buffy turned and glared at him and he got the message very quickly. The Slayer turned back and tapped the lighter on the counter; she flicked it open again and after taking a breath placed his hand out flat right above the flame. The heat that radiated off of it burned but the Slayer gritted her teeth and shoved her hand down into the flame in a clenched fist almost as if trying to crush the flickering flame. Her palm blistered and a bubble of it popped and her brain was screaming at her to move her hand, move it! The Slayer bit down on her lip and her fist began to shake as the flames licked at her skin. She lasted three more seconds before she pulled her hand away and flicked the lighter closed.

Buffy slowly and painfully unclenched her fist and lay her palm out flat. Her skin was red raw and as the air got to the blistering of skin that covered almost half her palm the pain flared up. She turned her hand around so that the back of her hand was visible to her and she saw white blistering dotted across and over her knuckles and an extremely sore looking and feeling red streak diagonally across her hand. It was still nothing. Even as Buffy could no longer see clearly through the haze of tears that glazed over her eyes she knew it was not from the physical pain.

“Hey,” The cheerful voice broke her reverie “You’re gonna need some cream for that”

Buffy looked up into the red eyes of Clem, a baggy skinned demon she had once known from back in Sunnydale. He wore his usual brown burlap sack waistcoat, T-shirt and pants. He waved a saggy arm at her.

Buffy gave him the ghost of a fake smile “Clem, hey”

“Buffy,” He nodded slipping into the stool next to her “I, uh, would recognize that coat anywhere even in a crowd this big. Not too used to seeing you in it though”

The Slayer looked down at the coat, tilted her head “You don’t like?”

“Oh, no! It totally suits you” Clem’s eyes softened “It’s just I thought Spike was...”

“Dead? He is” Buffy nodded swiftly “Got his coat though”

The demon ordered himself a margarita “A little keepsake from a good friend, huh?”

“Could say that” Buffy placed her sore hand down on the counter, forgot and let out a severe wince pulling her hand away again “Ah!”

Clem looked at her as his drink was placed in front of him and his eyes filled with sympathy for her pain, he didn’t realize it wasn’t the pain in her hand she was bothered about. He reached over and took her hand looked it over and gave her a wince of empathy. Clem reached into his pocket and pulled out a long purple silk scarf. He wrapped it tightly around her hand and tied it tight Buffy looked down at the scarf for a moment and her hand and then back into those red eyes.

“A little colorful for you isn’t it, Clem?” Buffy arched an eyebrow and nodded to the bartender to refill her chaser.

“Well, it’s my keepsake from my best girl down in Mexico,” Clem grinned at her face “When I...well, when I chickened out from that whole apocalypse and stuff, I went to Mexico and...man, are those chicks hot! Good kittens down there too...oh, not that I ate any, just admired!”

Buffy almost chuckled “I can’t take this. It’s yours from her”

He shrugged “It’s yours now, from me. Hey, how about a toast?”

The Slayer looked back down at her hand and then picked up her glass “I haven’t got a lot to toast to right now”

“Well, sure you have. You’re alive and you’ve got your health...apart from the whole hand thing...no? Okay, I got it. Let’s toast to old friends...” Clem looked pointedly at the coat.

Buffy closed her eyes, lifted her glass “Old friends”

The glasses clinked.

A/N: Next chapter is the penultimate one. Oooh! Review.

A/N: Penultimate Chapter! -

Willow and Jack were on their way out and Buffy stood at a distance away from the group as Kennedy kissed and hugged Willow and told her she had better come back safe. Buffy had listened to Willow’s brief explanation of why the two witches’s had to go away on some kind of trip. It had been something to do with finding a mystical artifact that could at some time prove useful to them. Through it all Buffy nodded along, detached to what the actual Wicca was saying but still managing to hear the gist of it.

The Slayer watched, intrigued as Angel came up to Willow and whispered in her ear, the redhead nodded and then turned to Buffy. She saw the Slayer looking and gave her a cheery smile and a wave which Buffy felt compelled to return but didn’t. Willow’s smile slipped from her face and she saluted Giles before walking out of the door closely followed by Jack who shook hands with Robin before leaving. The former principal shut the door after them and then Faith grabbed him by the front of his T-shirt and pulled him up the stairs, way obvious. Buffy had noticed over the past two days that Jack and Robin had become quiet good friends; in fact everyone seemed to get along with the new sorcerer including Andrew. Jack had attempted to start conversation with her several times over the past days but Buffy excused herself as quickly as possible. She was sure he was a nice enough guy but she couldn’t let anyone new in and couldn’t muster up enough energy to act polite.

Angel made a move to come walk over and talk to her but the Slayer turned and walked away from him and up the stairs to her room. She sighed and shut the door behind her then turned around and nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw Dawn sitting on the bed. Her sister had Spike’s coat draped over her lap and was looking up at her sister with sad eyes. Since Spike had gone again Buffy had distanced herself from the entire group and in doing so had alienated Dawn. Dawn had loved Spike like a brother or an extremely good looking and cool friend, as she once put it. Buffy walked over and sat down next to her and slipped an arm around her shoulders.

“It felt so good, to see him again...you know?” Dawn looked at her, eyes watery.

“I know” Buffy nodded “I was freaked out at first but...I know”

Dawn sighed “When he came back, saw I was older he just started treating me like an adult. Like he always had. He didn’t still think of me as sixteen and a kid, he got that I was a different person in some ways. I asked him about when he had gone, I asked if he went to heaven like you but he said it was different for vampires, even ones with souls. He didn’t go to hell, he didn’t go to heaven all he remembered was darkness but he wasn’t sure if that meant anything. Just darkness, Buffy. Do you think that’s where he is now?”

The Slayer took a shaky breath “Dawn, I don’t know. I don’t know dimensions or...other realities; I don’t know what happens to vampires. Angel, when I...killed him, he went to hell and maybe the darkness...maybe that is hell. I don’t have any answers to comfort you or myself, you would be better off talking to Giles or Willow when she gets back”

“Buffy,” Dawn looked down at the floor “Do you remember when you came into my room and saw Spike and I talking and you got all protective and stuff?” She smiled a little.

Buffy looked at her “Yeah, well –”

“You had no reason to be jealous Buffy, or worry that Spike was gonna suddenly find me so stunningly attractive that he was gonna pounce on me. The first question he asked me when we were alone was, and I quote ‘Is Buffy happy?’ and I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know the answer. Are you happy, Buffy?”

“No”

Dawn looked at her again “Is it because of Spike?”

“It’s because of everything...Spike, Angel, demons, everything. I thought after we destroyed Sunnydale, I thought, that I would be free. I thought that I could take some time off, have a vacation and actually experience life...and to a certain degree I did that. I had a couple of weeks off, I left patrolling to the others but then we came to Cleveland and I felt like I had to carry on, I had to guide new girls” She placed her hands in her face.

“You felt like you had to look after us all. You always did” Dawn whispered.

“Kind of hard to kick an old habit,” Buffy looked into the eyes of her sister “I want you to move on with your life. I do not want you to forever be the ‘Slayer’s sister’ and neither do you. You’re in college, that’s a good start”

Dawn smiled “Yeah, all I need now is a husband and two kids”

The Slayer smiled a little too “Well, I don’t know about the husband part but I know there’s someone around here that’s pretty sweet on you”

“Really? Please say that it is that Jack guy, he is hot!”

Buffy smiled “You really don’t know?”

Dawn’s brow furrowed “Who?”

“Never mind. You’ll get it” The Slayer stood and walked over and opened the window because her room was getting stuffy “It was you who first told me about the way Spike felt about me and it freaked me out so badly. I figure this guy will get around to telling you one day”

The brunette stood “That is way unfair”

“That’s life, Dawnie,” Buffy turned back to her “Oh, hey, Clem’s in town. He said he’d stop by tonight to see you”

Dawn smiled then it dropped “It’s not Clem is it?” She looked horrified.

The Slayer laughed for the first time in a long time.

-----------------------------------------

As Buffy lay in bed the next night trying to sleep but knowing she would not be able to for a few hours yet she wondered how Willow was doing finding the artifact. The two magick practitioners had been gone almost two full days soon and the Sanctuary were expecting them back tomorrow sometime. The Slayer really wished she had listened to Willow about why this artifact was so important and she felt bad for not paying more attention. What if Willow got in trouble? Buffy should have offered to go with them for safety.

Even as she thought that Buffy rolled her eyes, Willow could most definitely take care of herself. She was the most powerful person Buffy knew or had ever known. Way more likely to stay alive in a fight then even Buffy. The witch could zap a demon at twenty paces. If Buffy could have had one person at her side in a fight it would be Willow.

There was a light rapping at her door and Buffy sat up quickly, throwing the covers off of herself and asking who it was.

“It’s Angel” Came the raspy reply.

The second person Buffy would have at her side in a fight. She looked at the clock and saw it was around two in the morning and she had a feeling it was time to face Angel and have the talk that they both knew was inevitable. She told him to come in and after a seconds hesitation he did, the dark clothes he wore blended into the shadows as he closed the door behind himself and leaned against it not moving as if suddenly not wanting her to see him.

Buffy shifted on the edge of her bed and beckoned him closer, she saw his eyes flicker down to the bed and then her and the Slayer shifted again, uncomfortable. The vampire walked a couple of steps closer so that Buffy could see the pale moonlight reflected on his face and his expression was unreadable, as usual.

“Kind of a late visit” She remarked.

“Yeah, well,” Angel rubbed the back of his neck “It isn’t really a spare of the moment thing. I’ve been wanting to talk to you ever since...but you always seem to be in such a hurry”

Buffy nodded “Yeah. A hurry to avoid you”

“Figured” He stepped closer again and then after a moment sat down next to her on the bed but not too close “Tell me, Buffy”

She took a deep breath and nodded once “Okay, I can tell this is gonna be another one of our heart-wrenching moments. I don’t know about you anymore Angel...I don’t know what I feel. I was in love with you and, I still am, in a way but it’s not...the same as it used to be. When I love you it’s with my old self, it’s the ‘Buffy’ part of me, the part in me that remembers what it’s like to be a normal teenage girl, the part that remembers you as the first guy I ever fell for, ever slept with. I’ve always carried that part of me inside and in doing that I’ve always loved you. Now...now, I’ve changed irreparably and though I’d like to think of myself as more Buffy than Slayer I’ve come to realize it’s the other way around. I’ve changed and I’ll keep changing but you’ll always stay the same – in appearance and in my heart. Remember back when I used the cookie dough analogy? Back when we defeated the First I figured I was cooked but I wasn’t, only half-baked. So, our love is always gonna be in the past – you fell in love with someone who I am not anymore”

Angel let out a long sigh and rubbed his brow “Buffy...I’m not even gonna be able to argue with you about this am I?”

“Well, you know me. Once I’ve made my mind up...” Buffy smiled sadly.

His eyes shone with sadness “And Spike? He’s the guy?”

“He’s dead” Buffy looked down at the floor “So, it doesn’t matter”

Angel clenched his fists “I think I have a right to know. If I’ve lost you to Spike I want to know why, I want to know what it is about him that makes you think he loves the real you when you think I don’t”

Buffy closed her eyes “Angel, please –”

“You owe me that, Buffy”

She nodded “I do. There isn’t an easy way to explain this, Angel, it’s a long, drawn out and complicated story. What I can say for sure is that Spike knows the real me, the Buffy that I am now and he knew the Buffy that I was a few years ago when we first met and I know that if he was still here that if I changed again he would adapt and still get me. Let’s be honest, Angel, Spike was always the best judge of character either of us ever knew. He understood people’s motives and their desires, the reasons that they carried on living better than any of us”

“I agree, Buffy, but Spike was only good at knowing people because he liked to get inside their heads, liked to see what buttons to push” The vampire’s eyes were darker then usual.

“He wasn’t the only one” She looked at him pointedly.

Angel grunted “I can’t believe that you think I don’t know the real you. I understand you Buffy, I always have”

“You may understand me but, if we could ever be truly together could you accept the real me? Would you know what buttons to push?”

“I know everything about you”

“Favorite song? Favorite movie?” Buffy raised her eyebrows.

Angel shook his head “You can’t tell me Spike knew those things”

“No,” She agreed “But he knew the important stuff”

“So do I. I know you, Buffy”

Buffy cocked her head “So, tell me then. Tell me who I am, ’cos I’d like to know”

“You’re Buffy and you’re the Slayer”

“And what does that mean?”

“It means that a part of you wants gentle, tender love and the other part of you wants pain and violence, a kind of love that with burn you. That kind of love is why you want Spike” Angel said, glowering.

“So, does that mean that the gentle, tender side of me is why I want you?” She arched a honey blond eyebrow “Because, to me, that seems to signify that I only love you with half of myself. It’s like I said, Angel, the ‘Buffy’ part of me loves you and that part is innocent, which, frankly I’m not in grand supply of anymore. The Slayer part of me wanted Spike, you’re right, because he...did things that you or any other guy I knew wouldn’t do”

“He hurt you,” Angel practically growled.

“I wanted him to” Buffy said quietly “And part of me still wants that. You would never do that”

His anger was evident on his face “So you’re saying that you’re dumping me because I wouldn’t shove you up against a wall and hurt you?”

She let out a long breath and stood turned her back on him “You don’t understand, Angel. We both know there are two parts to me and you only fulfill one part of me. I love you but I can’t love you, the curse changes things for us Angel. Maybe if it wasn’t there then everything would be fine but because you are still cursed I had time to take a step back and look at the thing between us. Back when we first met I was ninety five percent Buffy, five percent Slayer and now it is fifty-fifty. So, I cannot settle with someone that only loves half of the person I am. You understand that I’m the Slayer because you’re a vampire but you don’t understand what that part of me needs and I don’t just mean in terms of sex. That part of me means that one day I might walk out of you life and not come back because some demon has killed me. That part of me means that sometimes I am gonna have to put my work above everything else. And that part of me also means that I will be cold and hard and brutal to you sometimes. You understand the idea of a Slayer but you can never understand the mind of a Slayer”

“And Spike does” Angel said quietly “He’s always had a thing for Slayers”

Buffy turned back to him “And that meant he fulfilled the other half of me. I sometimes thought if only I could take the two aspects from both of you and make them into one guy. Either that or date both of you...but I don’t think either one of you would have gone for that”

“Damn right” He muttered.

“So, basically I was screwed. I had these two guys that both fulfilled a part of me but without the other would not. And then...” She trailed off, looked into his eyes.

Angel looked back “And then Spike got a soul”

Buffy looked at him a few moments longer and then walked around the bed to her window closed it because she suddenly felt cold. She pulled the curtains aside and looked out at the grounds of the Sanctuary.

“If only he had been human,” Angel stood too “Then he would have been perfect”

Buffy felt her shoulders sag “Angel, you think this is easy for me? For the past decade of my life you have been the one person who I could always count on to be there for me, whenever I see your face it makes me instantly feel better”

“But not good enough. I’ve lived a long time, Buffy you know that. I may have been your one person for the past decade but you are the only girl I’ve ever loved in my whole two hundred and fifty two years!” Angel opened the door to her room “I’m leaving now, for L.A and...just remember something for me, Buffy. Remember that when the opportunity arises to grab with both hands. Don’t hold back, don’t hold anything back”

She turned back to him, silhouetted by the moonlight “What are you talking about?”

“You’ll find out soon enough” His brown eyes looked into her “Goodbye, Buffy”

Angel turned and walked out of the open doorway and left it open. She heard the sounds of his footsteps recede down the hall and then there was no sound or trace of him left.

Buffy turned back around to look out of the window and hoped to see him walk down the path, one last glance of him but he never came because he was already gone.

The Slayer rested her forehead against the window and looked at the moon “Vampires, they’re just so damned ambiguous”

A/N: insert plea for reviews here

A/N: The Last Chapter. Ooh! Ahh!

22

Buffy had been up hours before everyone else in the Sanctuary and that was mainly because she hadn’t slept at all, hadn’t been able to since Angel had left. The morning it was extremely sunny so much so that as Buffy walked through the building she was constantly blinded by the bright sunlight streaming in through various windows. It was hot too and the Slayer dressed accordingly in a light gray drawstring pants, sneakers and a crimson vest – her hair was pulled up in a tight ponytail and scraped back from her head.

She was down in the basement training and getting generally stinky and sweaty when Xander came down the stairs with a goofy smile on his face. Buffy continued to pummel the punch bag and then glanced at him and frowned but did not stop hitting.

“What’s up Xander? Did the new issue of The Amazing Spiderman arrive?” Buffy smirked and hit.

“No,” He walked up close to her “Hey, Buff, looking extremely sweaty and, well, the body odor is leaving a lot to be desired as well”

Buffy shrugged “It happens, I’ll grab a shower”

Xander let out a bubble of hysterical laughter and he actually doubled-over “Oh, man are you gonna wish you had already taken that shower!”

Now Buffy did stop hitting the bag, she wiped her hand over her forehead and looked at her friend with her brow furrowed “Seriously, Xander, what are you talking about?”

He smiled easily “Buffy, I want you to know something, okay? I want you to be happy and, well, now you have the chance. So, I just want you to know that I love you and I want the best for you. And if this is the best...well, I never would have thought it but there it is”

“Um...okay,” Buffy frowned she grabbed up a towel and mopped her face with it then started toward the basement stairs.

Xander jogged up in front of her and blocked her way “Wait, Buffy. I need to tell you something...Willow and Jack are back”

“Hey, that’s great” She smiled “How about you get out of my way so I can go say hi?”

“Okay but...they’re outside. In the bright sunshine” He looked at her with his one eye and something in it sparkled.

Buffy nodded slowly “O-kay, Xander. I get the point. Willow is back. She is outside. It is sunny. All is right with the world. Can I go now?”

“Sure. Go ahead” Xander gave her a last excited smile then stepped out of her way.

Buffy’s eyebrows lifted and then she ascended the stairs to the basement slowly, throwing the towel over her shoulders she continued to rub at her face and neck with it. Xander followed close behind her and she could hear his heavy footfalls on the wooden steps.

Buffy pushed the door open and froze when she saw pretty much everyone, no definitely everyone was lined up in the foyer on either side of the wall and all turned and looking at her. Those furthest away from the two wide open front door were the girls that Buffy knew less well and as she walked uncomfortably closer to the door she saw that the closer she got were the people she knew better. She saw Giles and Dawn, Robin and Faith. Faith gave her a wicked grin and slapped her on the back in encouragement whereas Robin gave her a nod that said he too was encouraging her for something. Xander moved up to stand between Dawn and Giles. Buffy’s mentor gave her a kind smile and Dawn’s eyes buzzed with excitement. On the other side of her stood Andrew and Buffy noticed that her sister stood closer to him now. Dawn gave her a smile that told her that she knew it was Andrew and she wasn’t entirely unpleased about it. The Slayer gave her a ‘I’m happy for you’ smile but she still wondered why everyone was looking at her as she approached the door where Willow and Kennedy stood both blocking her view out of the door. Jack stood to one side and looked at her, gave her a warm, friendly smile that she still couldn’t fully return.

Buffy reached Willow and smiled “Hey. How did it go?”

“We found what we were looking for,” Willow’s grin threatened to reach her ears.

The Slayer looked around “Oh, hey, that’s good. So, where is it?”

Willow and Kennedy both stood aside and Willow motioned out of the door with a sweeping gesture of her arm that reminded Buffy a little of a theatrical entrance, when the introducer pulled back the curtains and showed the performer. As the two women stood aside the sun blinded Buffy painfully and she held her hand up above her eyes to ward off the rays.

Buffy stepped outside a couple of steps and blinked at the beautiful sunshine that filled their garden and even though it was unkempt and in a state of disarray the light made it look like some beautiful meadow with exotic wild flowers and tall grass, like something out of a dream. Buffy first noticed that the gates of the Slayer Sanctuary were wide open and she secondly noticed the man standing in the middle of the garden with his back to her and his arms outstretched on either side of him.

Even with his back facing her Buffy knew who it was. Even with the different clothes - the long sleeved white T-shirt, black jeans and dark brown boots Buffy knew who it was. However the fact that Spike was dead made that a little impossible but didn’t stop the Slayer from freezing on the spot.

He turned on his heel to face her and he smiled and it was most definitely a Spike smile on a most definite Spike face. The white T-shirt was a V-neck and it exposed his pale Spike skin. Everything was telling her this could not be Spike. He was dead.

Spike’s smile dropped and he looked her in the eyes, cocked his head “What, no hug?”

“What...” Buffy clenched her fist “What are you?”

“Well, you’re not gonna believe this, luv, but I’m a born again human” Spike chuckled and took a step toward her.

She put her hand out in a ‘stop’ gesture “This isn’t real”

“Think you’ll find it is” He stopped like she had asked “Just ask Red”

“Willow?” Buffy heard herself say it in a somewhat desperate tone.

Her friend stepped up behind her “It’s true, Buffy. Angel realized when you found the talisman in Spike’s coat that the reason he had been brought back was because of the spell I did to retrieve the talisman. So, Jack and I took a trip out to the stadium where Spike got dusted and did the spell but it was harder to bring him back the second time and we failed a lot”

The Slayer felt herself take a step toward Spike then stop “His arm?”

“Angel had buried it when it got...”

“Lopped off” Spike remarked bending down to the flowers, picking one and smelling it.

“Yeah,” Willow said slowly “So he dug it up and we took it with us...which was really weird. So, when we finally managed to get Spike back Jack had come up with a way to reattach his arm magickally. It was amazing, Buffy! I had never heard of this incantation but it could do a lot of good to a lot of people, it was...breathtaking”

“Itched a little” Spike shrugged.

Willow placed her hand on Buffy’s shoulder and leaned in, whispered “And then Angel remembered something else too. The blood of a Mora demon spread into an open cut of a vampire made it turn human, so...”

“You made Spike human” Buffy said but the words didn’t make sense to her.

It made her flashback to the night before when Angel had said, “If only he had been human, then he would have been perfect” and she thought about Angel about all he had done to ensure that this had happened. The talisman, the arm, the demon blood it really was incredible but it made her wonder why he did not use the blood to turn himself human. He still felt like he had an eternity of demon fighting to do, she supposed.

“Yeah, that she did” Spike looked her in the eyes and started walking slowly toward her “So, now I’m weak, liable to die in fifty measly years, probably get skin cancer from all this sun and – oof!”

Buffy had leapt down from the steps and jumped on him knocking him backward and nearly making him fall. She clutched on tight though, her hands gripping his shirt as she pulled him into a hard embrace. Her arms slid around his waist and her head leaned against his chest, feeling his heart actually beat. His skin was warm, both his arms curled around her and he lifted her off the floor apparently not that weak. Spike laughed in warm bubbling laughter into her ear as he swung her around and gripped tighter.

Buffy jumped out of his arms abruptly “Oh god!”

“What?” He froze looking terribly worried.

“I smell!” She cried looking down at herself “I need a shower!” Buffy turned to go.

The former vampire grabbed her hand and pulled her back to him, his arm going loosely around her waist and resting his hand on her lower back “Trust you to trivialize my transformation from vampire to human with your body odor. Although, even without vampire smell sense, you do reek luv,”

“Told you you’d wish you had that shower!” They both heard Xander call.

Buffy looked into the pale blue eyes of Spike “You’re back” She whispered intimately

“Yeah, I’m back baby,” He grinned “And since I got the whole sun proof thing going on how do you feel about going on a little trip?”

She frowned but then smiled again still mystified with him being here “What?”

“You. Me. A borrowed bike. The golden coast. How do you like the sound of that?” Spike tilted his head, looked at her deeply.

Buffy ran a hand down his face and smiled “Sounds good...” Then her smile dropped “But I have responsibilities here and I can’t –”

The Slayer was interrupted by Spike catching her mouth with his and planting a deep, word stealing kiss on her lips. Her hands went to his biceps, still she felt the warmth of him through his clothes, and she marveled at it. His arms encircled her and pulled her close so that their hearts beat together in a strange yet wonderful bass. They both pulled back as they heard cheering and clapping and in unison turned to The Slayer Sanctuary – the core gang stood in the doorway, big goofy grins on their faces. Buffy looked at Willow and Kennedy with their beaming smiles and whistling, Xander with his wry smile and wriggling eyebrows, Dawn and Andrew standing very close together both giving them wolf whistles, Faith with a wicked grin and a wink and then Buffy turned to Giles. The two of them looked at each other and he gave her a slow nod of approval and a slight but very meaningful smile.

“So, you comin’ or what?” Spike took her hand and started pulling her toward the gates.

“Giles?” Buffy questioned somewhat letting herself be pulled but still looking back.

Her Watcher chuckled “Buffy, it’s about time you lived the life you were previously deprived of. We have more than enough Slayers now, take as much time off as you like”

“Write us a postcard!” Dawn called grinning.

Buffy turned back to Spike and they had reached the gates she saw the shiny black Harley Davidson “Whose bike is this?”

“Jack’s”

The Slayer looked back at the Sanctuary “Thanks for the bike, Jack”

He smiled “I want it back sometime!”

“Not too soon though, mate” Spike grinned and climbed onto it “I’m takin’ Buffy on a much needed holiday, hey luv?”

She smiled and climbed on behind him wrapping her arms around him, she whispered “Shouldn’t we wear helmets what with your now humanness?”

“We’ll make an exit, stop at the end of the street then helmets,” Spike whispered back “Honestly, Slayer, you have no sense of style”

“Hey,” She kicked his shin “I can see this holiday is gonna be a short one” Buffy grinned wryly.

Spike kick started the bike “Not a chance, my love. I’m gonna take my time with you”

Then the Slayer and her newly human again boyfriend roared off down the road toward the horizon and the golden coast without ever looking back. Except for the small pit stop at the end of the road to procure headgear. Then it was smooth riding the whole way...between Buffy and Spike? Nah. But that’s what real love is – a bumpy ride.

The End

A/N: Well you may have guess that’s the end. Pleasure writing for you (and me), Reviews please!