Riley's suggestion hasn't gone down well. It's all very well to try to hide the fact that I'm pregnant, but it's not going to work much longer anyway. And as for them not knowing that Spike's the father, well, I can't see how that's going to work either. They must've realised we were together when they visited before. And we're not living apart. Apart from anything else, together we're stronger. Apart, we're both vulnerable. So, we're going to take a few precautions, but otherwise, continue as before.

I had to argue the point, of course. Giles, well I expected him to object, but I hadn't thought Spike would. I listened to his arguments, and it was so obvious that his heart wasn't in them. It was breaking his heart to suggest that we should be apart for a while, but he did it anyway, for me and for the baby.

So, we compromised. We're back at Revello Drive on a permanent basis. Willow and Jenna are here too, for now. I can't really see how it makes any difference, but Giles seemed to think it was less obvious than us staying at Spike's. And, we're going to avoid doing baby-related things openly.

Despite everything, I'm happy. The things I felt when I first knew about the baby - the awe and wonder of it all - have returned, at an even higher intensity, since Spike got back. I'm seeing it through his eyes. As the Slayer, I'd kind of been persuaded that I'd never be a mother. And, the truth is, I just never thought I'd live long enough for it to be something I'd even miss. I mean, at sixteen, I couldn't imagine my life without Angel, but the knowledge that we couldn't have children didn't seem like a biggy. And, I've got to admit, that even now, the thought of imminent motherhood hadn't occurred to me until it was going to happen anyway.

But, seeing it through Spike's eyes - it's been amazing. Understandable, though. I mean, if parenthood wasn't exactly on my agenda, it definitely wasn't on his. A hundred years of knowing that it wasn't a possibility, and suddenly, it is. He's been amazing. It's funny. I mean, I know he grew up a long time ago, that his influences were of another time, but it's the first time it's been obvious. He's been trying hard to bring together the attitudes of his early life with those appropriate to now. I'm seeing a Victorian gentleman peeking through the big bad exterior and it makes me smile. It also makes me love him more than I already did.

I mean, I know, that in his time, men didn't get involved in pregnancy, well not after the start, anyway. I've had to make it clear that I want him involved in every aspect of the pregnancy. When he realised that, I could see the relief on his face. It's as if he was expecting to be excluded, while that was the last thing he wanted.

So, today I've got a doctor's office appointment. In order to make it seem like we're being sensible, we're going separately. I'm going underground, via the tunnels, and so is Spike, but he's going by way of Clem's, so we can hopefully throw anyone watching us off the scent.

I arrive from underground. It's obvious that Dr. Chan has other patients for whom sunshine is an issue, because she's happy to offer an alternative entrance from the tunnels below. I arrive at the designated doorway, and ring the doorbell, identifying myself to the receptionist. She buzzes me in, and I climb the stairs to ground level.

Once there, I glance around the waiting room, but I already know he's there, sitting nervously in a corner. Not that anyone else would know he's nervous. To the world he's the big bad he's always been, dressed in black, looking threatening. I sit beside him, and his arm slips around my waist, pulling me closer to him. As always, it's like coming home, like I'm only complete when I'm in contact with him.

We don't wait long. Within a couple of minutes of my arrival, we're called in to see the doctor.

"I'm so glad you could come this time," she gushes. "It's so important to get fathers involved early in the pregnancy. The old idea that they should be kept away isn't good for the children or the relationship."

Spike just nods, her words are so close to his own insecurities on the subject, and I can see he's itching to tell her to shut up.

He looks so young. Young and scared. Now that's funny considering he's got a century on me, but that's how it seems. He's on edge, but that's just because he feels so out of place. I guess it's a big step for him.

Spike sits to one side while I'm prodded and checked over. Then there's the bit we've both been looking forward to - the ultrasound scan. I was looking forward to it anyway, but right now, I really need to empty my bladder, so it can't come quickly enough. It seems like I've spent the past few hours drinking water, because of the warning that it would allow the scan to give more information.

Dr. Chan mutters to herself, doing some measurements, and eventually prints a copy for us. As soon as she says she's finished, I'm off the bed at full Slayer speed, heading for the toilet.

When I return, Spike's sitting at Dr. Chan's desk, and the doctor's making some notes. I sit beside Spike, and his hand immediately finds its way to hold mine.

"Ok, everything looks fine on the scan, there's no problem that I can see. However, there's one discrepancy that you might be able to help me with."

We both tense, waiting for whatever she's going to add.

"When you visited last time, you gave me your estimated date of conception. Now, when I examined you then, I thought it may have been a little inaccurate, but I decided not to worry you with that. Tell me, how confident are you of that date?"

"Very," I answer, squeezing Spike's hand as I speak.

"Why, what's wrong?" he demands.

"Nothing's wrong," she says, reassuringly. "It's just that, compared with my initial examination, the baby has grown much more than I'd have expected. From the date you gave me, I'd estimate the pregnancy to be about ten weeks, but from my examination today, I'd say it's significantly more advanced - maybe sixteen weeks?"

"Oh," I hear myself say.

"Are there some special circumstances I should know about?" she asks.

"Well, just the usual for this town," I reply, trying not to be too specific. I didn't go into details about Spike's or my rather unusual status when I visited before, even though Anya reassured me that Dr. Chan was comfortable with treating the not-completely-human. And then there's the Defenders to consider. You never know, Dr. Chan might be under surveillance if she's known to treat non-humans.

"I see, yes," she replies. "Well, I do see some rather unusual things since I started to practise here. I'd like to monitor you a little more closely than I'd usually recommend. It's probably just an accelerated pregnancy, and the child will be completely normal, but I'd still like to keep an eye on you. Certainly so far, there's nothing remarkable about the baby except his growth rate."

"I don't seem to be getting too big," I comment, running my hand over my stomach which is only slightly swollen.

"No, you're not. I suspect you've got good muscle tone, and that you won't be as big as some women I see."

"His?" I ask, realising what it was that was causing a niggling worry in my head.

She looks confused by my reaction for a moment. "Oh, I said his? I always do. It's just habit, I assure you. I've no idea of the sex of the child - he was just lying at the wrong angle for me to have any real opinion on that subject. Is it important that you know?"

I sigh in relief. "No, it's just that I think it's a girl."

"Do you now?" she replies, her voice implying tolerance. "Well, time will tell."

We leave the office separately, a few minutes apart. Spike's going to pick up his car, and he's going to meet me close to the doctor's so we can go shopping. I'm not too big yet, surprisingly so from what Dr. Chan has said, but I'm no longer comfortable in the clothes that I usually wore tight - which actually means most of my wardrobe. I need to buy some alternative clothes for work, and I'm feeling the need for something a little bit special.

As shopping trips go, it wasn't a biggy. We agreed to shop for baby online so that we can choose together without it being too obvious. I managed to find enough to eke out my wardrobe, and then I fell in love again. The object of my desire this time was a pair of pants in a satiny material. They'd have caught my eye even if I wasn't pregnant, but they have some built in advantages. They came from a store which specialises in imports from India, and they're in that sort of style. The waist is actually very adjustable, and although the pants are very long, they fasten around my ankles with velcro, and the overall effect is very flattering, and it should continue to fit even if I put on a lot of inches around the waist. I spotted a halter top in another store, which is a very similar red, but slightly lacy, and it's going to look so great with them. I just hope that I don't get too much bigger in that area, or halter tops might not be a good idea any more.

Sweats will do for Slaying. That's assuming I'm actually allowed to do some in the first place. I still go on patrol, but Spike's made it clear he doesn't feel comfortable with letting me handle things. In some ways it's sweet, and I'm glad he cares, but in others, I feel like I'm being retired. I know it's only temporary, and there was a time when I'd have been so relieved to have someone willing and able to take over that side of my life, but it's something I love sharing with Spike. Patrolling with him isn't the chore it seemed when I carried all the responsibility. Still, I know he's right. Our first priority has to be Zara, so I'll watch while he slays, and I'll even put up with having Willow or Jenna along on patrol most of the time, just so long as we can have some time alone afterwards.

Willow's amazing. You just wouldn't know she's blind. She says she actually forgets herself sometimes because she can get so much more information about the world with her new sight than she could with the old, mundane one. She still needs a spell to allow her to read, but she and Jenna have adapted the original one so that it works online and for the TV too. So, all in all, she's not actually missing out on much.

She can actually feel an approaching demon faster than I can now. In fact, she's almost back to the Willow I remember from when we first started college. She's confident, but there's none of the darkness about her any more. Well, except .. There was something. When Giles described what Riley told him about when he was released from the constraints Jenna had put on him, there was something. I don't know if anyone else noticed. Spike was sleeping at the time, so he didn't pick anything up. It wasn't something on her face, just a wave of .. I don't know, it could have been fear, but if it was, it was there and gone so quickly I can't be sure. I tried to ask her later, but she denied it happened. I almost got the impression that whatever it was, it wasn't even a conscious reaction.

As we turn to leave the store, having just paid for my new top, Spike suddenly stiffens. I feel an overwhelming deluge of emotions coming from him, and follow the line of his sight to a woman in the distance. Of course, I know who she is, and I understand Spike's reaction. She smiles once she knows she has our attention, then mouths something towards us. I've never been much good at lip-reading, but this was unmistakable.

"Be seeing you!"

It was Dawson, and the expression on her face was one of pure hatred aimed at Spike. I tense, getting ready to chase her, but Spike holds me back, shaking his head. I glance at him, then back to where she was, but I've already lost her in the crowd. She knew she was safe in a busy place like this. She's out to get him, that much is obvious. It makes me feel sick to know that someone like that exists, and even worse to realise that she's human. For so long I slayed demons in the rather simplistic belief that they were evil, and humans were good. Now I know different. Sure, there are evil demons, maybe even the vast majority of them in this world are evil, but there are some who just want the same things as humans. They want to live, to work, to love, to bring up their young. And there are humans who want to hurt, and Dawson's one of them.

I remove my arm from Spike's only to snake it around his waist, pulling him to me as I scan the crowds in a vain attempt to find her again. She can be as confident as she likes, but there's no way she's getting her hands on Spike again. She's never tangled with a Slayer before, and if she comes anywhere near him again, she'll regret it.

The vibes Buffy and Spike were giving off when they got back that day were pretty heavy. Spike was obviously terrified, and Buffy was furious. Despite that, Spike seemed, on the outside at least, just a bit psyched. Buffy's emotional state was more obvious to anyone who saw her - she just wanted revenge. If there had been some way she could get to Dawson that day, I don't think anyone'd have been able to stop her.

Well, maybe one thing. She obviously knew how Spike was feeling - maybe even better than I did. She marched him upstairs for some quiet time, and whatever she did, it seemed to work. I'm not saying it was instant, but gradually, the level of fear and agitation I could sense dissipated.

The next few weeks were quiet. Spike seemed relaxed, and everything on the Slaying front seemed quiet. Buffy's bump seemed to be growing noticeably, and Spike was just so pleased as it became more obvious.

Dr. Chan seemed sure that Buffy's pregnancy was going normally, except for the timing. Her latest estimate was that the baby should arrive in about six weeks, and the house was gradually filling with the things for the baby, and we were all getting wrapped up in the idea.

It's funny. I mean, the scoobs have been my family since High School. Mom and Dad, they're there, I mean, they make sure I don't want for anything, but, I'm closer to my friends. This baby is already part of the gang, and she would be, even if we didn't already know her.

Giles is so cute. It's like he's going to be a grandfather. He's so careful about Buffy - making sure she's not taking any chances, and he's completely changed her training. He's been reading books on exercise in pregnancy, and he's been adapting their recommendations to Buffy's, well, special abilities. Of course, even that wasn't good enough for Spike. He's taken each suggestion along to Dr. Chan and had her ok it before he's agreed.

Buffy's coped really well too. She's never been one to give up control, but she's listening to Spike more than I ever thought she would. I think she's actually enjoying the attention, but I also think she's doing it to keep Spike involved in everything. I think his reaction to Dawson freaked her. It's understandable, I suppose. I mean, whatever Spike's been, he's never been a coward. Even back in the days when he wanted to kill us all, he wasn't scared to take risks. I'd even say that it was the risk that gave him a buzz.

I'm sitting at the Magic Box research table on a Tuesday morning. I'm actually sorting out some things for Anya, because there's no really urgent research on at the moment. I've been working here fairly regularly lately. I've got to wait for a few months before I can get back into school, and I've been glad of something to do.

While I'm working, I'm thinking through what Jenna told me last night. She's planning to go home, and Giles had agreed that she should. She hasn't set a date yet, but she wanted to give me some warning.

My first reaction was, well, I was kinda nervous. I mean, knowing she's there, it's been a crutch for me. I knew she'd be able to spot if I was going bad again, and maybe she'd be able to stop me. The prospect of being without her, well, it's scary. But, it's also kinda good. I mean, it means she trusts me.

The phone rings, and Anya excuses herself from a customer. who's been dithering between two versions of the same fertility statue for twenty minutes, to answer it. She's obviously been itching for an excuse to get away from her for half that time, sensing that she's not actually going to be spending any money today.

"The Magic Box, where all your Magical needs are met," she chirps into the handset.

A moment later she continues. "No, she's not here, is it urgent?"

There's a long gap then, as Anya listens intently, but it's obvious she doesn't like what she hears, as her agitation increases steadily throughout the call.

"I see, yes, I expect to see her later, so I'll tell her. Is there a number where she can reach you?"

"Thanks, I'm sure she'll be glad to hear that."

When Anya has broken the connection, I approach her.

"What's up?" I ask, concerned at the worry I now feel emanating from Anya.

"That was Dr. Chan," she starts. "Apparently, her office was closed down this morning. Some men, they claimed to be police, marched in, ordered her and the rest of the staff off the premises, and told her there was to be an investigation into her qualifications. She qualified in Britain, and she's got all the permits and licences she needs to practise here, but they didn't believe her. She hasn't got any access even to her own files. That's why she called here. Apparently, before she was removed from the building, one of the men seemed particularly interested in finding Buffy's file. Without her files, she doesn't have Buffy's phone number, but she did remember that I'd recommended her, and that I worked here, and she wanted to warn Buffy. She's also left her own number, and offered to come and continue treating Buffy at home if she wants. She's quite a good customer, actually. More into meditation aids than anything else, she says it helps more during labour than some drugs."

"The Defenders?" I ask, changing the subject back to the problem.

"Sounds like it," she replies, picking up the phone and dialling.

Ten minutes later, Giles, Xander, Buffy and Spike all know what's happened. After so many weeks without an obvious threat, I think we were all starting to relax. We set up a meeting at the store for after everyone's finished work, although it's hard to see what a meeting's going to do. We're already pretty sure that the Defenders are behind this. If they've got hold of Buffy's records, then they know she's pregnant, and they also know about the peculiarities of that pregnancy. There're probably also blood test results in her file, and we don't know what they might be able to read into those.

When we're all together later, the mood's a strange mixture of resignation, irritation, and an undercurrent of abject terror. That's coming mainly from Spike, but, like before, it's not obvious on the outside. To the others, he's just quiet, not making his usual wisecracks.

We go over the facts again, making sure everyone is aware of the danger.

"We must assume," Giles summarises, "that the Defenders know about the child, and there's a good chance that they know that Spike's the father. They may even know about Buffy's new status. Given what we know about their plans, we've got to assume that they will want to capture Buffy."

"We know that, Watcher," Spike growls. "Question is, what're we going to do about it? Has Finn come up with anything on Dawson yet? Can't help but think he's been bloody useless so far."

"Well, no," Giles mumbles. It's obvious that he's torn between agreeing with Spike and wanting to stand up for Riley. "I understand that he's having to be careful. He can hardly just walk in and ask about her without being suspicious."

Spike humphs at that, and even Xander doesn't look completely convinced.

"So, precautions?" Giles continues.

"We've got to make sure Buffy's not alone," Spike states. "While she's at work, that's ok, I'll be there too, but I don't know how long that'll go on. You should start taking things a bit easier, Pet." He turns to Buffy as he says that last bit. I miss a lot of it, but I get the feeling they do a lot of their communication without words. I don't mean they're in each other's heads, just that they can read how the other one's feeling.

"Ok," Buffy agrees rather hesitantly. "The not being alone bit, anyway. As far as work's concerned, I'm feeling fine, and it's not as if it's physically demanding. But, remember, that's where they caught up with you. So, we're going to both start being careful, especially when the kids have gone home. Not that I think that'd stop them. I mean, they just walked in and took over a doctor's office in broad daylight. What's to stop them arresting us on trumped up charges and then making us disappear."

"There's nothing to suggest that Spike's in any particular danger," Giles states.

"Except what Dawson said last time we saw her. She wants him back, and if she hasn't made a move yet, it's only because it hasn't suited some other purpose of hers, or the people she works for."

I feel it clearly that time. It doesn't last long, just a black chill that sweeps over Spike at the memory of Dawson. Buffy feels it too, because she instantly moves closer to him, squeezing his hand a little tighter.

"What else can we do?" Giles asks.

"I've got a new protection spell I can try, I suggest. Jenna and I worked it out a couple of days ago, putting together the best parts of all the protection spells we know, but we haven't had a chance to try it yet. It should be stronger than anything I've used before. And I'll do my best to stay close to Buffy. At least, I should be able to pick up on aggressive vibes as they approach."

Giles, Anya and Xander chat back and forth for a bit, but they're not actually adding anything to what we've decided. I stop listening, just letting my mind wander around them, feeling a part of what they're feeling, and I'm so glad these people are my friends. Even Spike. It's funny. At first, I had reservations about Anya, but now, well, she's one of the gang. And Spike? Him too. And the reservations I had about him were super-sized. But he loves Buffy so much, how could he not be part of the gang? That's what brought us together. Slaying demons, sure, but it was slaying demons with Buffy that kept us together. We've faced a lot over the years, and I'd be lying if I said this didn't scare me, but we'll do it. We'll keep Buffy safe, and we'll see Dawn/Zara again. And I'm going to be an honorary auntie!

I'm just thinking about what it's going to be like, having a baby in the house, helping to take care of her, when it's as if there's a dark shadow over everything. You know, the way a sudden storm can darken the sky in summer. And then I realise I've lost it. I can't feel my friends any more. Their emotions are as closed off to me as they always were before, and through the darkness as I peer at them, I slowly see them. They're blurred and indistinct, but I recognise the shapes and contours of the people closest to me.

It's been so long that it takes several seconds for me to realise what's happened. I'm no longer seeing my friends with my magical vision. I'm seeing them with my eyes. And while that's cause for celebration, I can't help but wonder what's happened to that other sight. And then I know. Something is walking in the door, and I recognise it. It's the creature that forced me to try to kill Dawn. It said then that it's a sink for magic, and that's what it's done - it's taken my power from me. Things I'd forgotten about that day come back instantly as he approaches.

The others notice him now, too. Behind him are several armed men, guns pointed at us. I make an attempt to raise some sort of shield between us, but I know before I do it that it'll fail. I'm aware of Jenna trying something too, but, like me, she fails. Spike jumps to his feet, pushing Buffy behind him, and he's immediately joined by Giles and Xander. Somewhere in the background, I realise that Anya's teleported away.

It's a stand off. The men say nothing, and there's nothing the rest of us can do against armed men. They're obviously waiting for something, and then the door opens again.

A woman walks in. She doesn't look exceptional in any way, but the effect she has on two of our group is obvious. I don't need to be able to feel Spike's emotions to know that this is Dawson. It's written in every line of his body, as my eyes struggle to take in the detail around me. She smiles at us as she approaches, walking around her men so that she has a direct line of sight to the rest of us.

"Well, Hostile, 17," she purrs. "I told you I'd see you soon. It really was so rude of you to run off before. There were so many things I wanted to do to you. You're a spoilsport, you know that?"

She turns her gaze towards Buffy.

"And you, Miss Summers. You really had us fooled, you know? I mean, we knew you were pregnant, but, well, our tests showed us that he couldn't father a child with a human, so it just didn't occur to us that it was his. From what Finn told us about him, we thought he'd just decided to step in and take advantage of the situation since you'd been dumped by the child's father. And then we saw the blood tests at Dr. Chan's. It's only a slight difference, of course, but since we'd already done a full work up on 17, it didn't take a lot to realise that you were the same. You're no more human than he is. And, I'm going to have so much fun watching this pregnancy continue, and then fully investigating the spawn you're carrying. It's a truly unique opportunity, you know."

"Just a minute," Giles begins, looking at Jenna and me, and obviously wondering why we're not doing anything. I shake my head in his direction, and Jenna does the same.

"Oh, are you wondering what's happened to your witches? Well, my friend here," she gesticulates to the demon she has with her, "has the ability to soak up magical power. They can't do anything. And, neither can you, because my men have orders to shoot the Slayer. She might not die, but the spawn would be at risk, now wouldn't it? So, be a good little Englishman, and keep out of this."

"Let's go," she orders, and two of the men approach Spike and Buffy, going around behind them, pushing at them with the barrels of their guns.

There's absolutely nothing we can do as we watch them leave. As soon as the door closes behind them, we move as one, heading towards the door, only to see them being loaded into the back of a nondescript van. Dawson smiles back at us. I really want to wipe that smile off her face.

As the van drives away, Giles and Xander start to move towards Xander's car, when Anya reappears in front of them.

"Let me," she says. "I can follow them without being seen, and I'll let you know where they take them. It's safer this way."

They nod their heads, recognising the truth of what she says, and with a satisfied nod, she disappears again, teleporting off into the distance somewhere, leaving the rest of us to stay behind and try to come up with a way out of this.

On the way out to the van, I kept trying to put myself between Buffy and those guns, but there were too many. They load us into the van, pushing us in, not caring that Buffy is pregnant, and she sprawls on the floor in a way that would never have happened if she hadn't got the extra weight throwing her off-balance.

I'm torn between terror at what's going to happen, and fury at the way they're treating her, and I'm working hard to concentrate on the fury because I know that if I give way to the terror, I'll be useless.

Two armed men follow us into the back of the van, then Dawson climbs in behind. She's still grinning, looking so pleased with herself. I notice that she's doing her best to keep the armed men between her and us, but she looks confident enough.

As I hear the engine start, she fishes into her pocket and pulls out a small recording device. I instinctively know that it contains the sounds that will cause me to collapse in agony, and I can feel the terror threatening to break through.

"Ah, he knows what I have here," Dawson purrs. "Do you understand the significance of this?" she asks Buffy, waving the device in front of her face, her finger never leaving the button.

"I can imagine," Buffy murmurs, and I feel the waves of anger coming from her at the way I'm being threatened. "It's the thing you use to hurt him, because you know you could never hurt him without it."

The total disdain in Buffy's voice makes her sound so cold, but I know that white-hot anger is running through her, and that's it's only cast iron control that's stopping her from acting.

I know what's coming, what they plan, or at least I can imagine it, and I know that we've run out of options. For my sake, but also for Buffy's and Zara's, we have no choice other than to do something. Two armed men and Dawson, we're probably not going to have better odds than this again.

I'm moving slowly, doing my best to put myself between Buffy and the guns, and praying that she knows what I'm doing. It's going to be up to her to make sure that Dawson either doesn't get the chance to switch on that device, or to stop it bloody fast, 'cos I won't be able to.

She's giving no sign of recognition that I can see, but that's what I want. Total surprise. I'm doing my best to look like I've stopped thinking clearly, that the threat has all but made me useless already. I'm let my shoulders slump, and I'm not meeting her eyes. Not that that's difficult, the sight of that bloody thing is enough to do that anyway.

This is it, one more shuffle, and I'll be close. I know there's almost no chance of success, but I've got to do it, for them. I'm on the verge of moving, when I hear it. The van stops, and I can hear arguing from outside. Never one to look a gift-horse in the mouth, I take the opportunity while everyone's attention has wandered.

The next few seconds are a blur of pain. I throw myself at the armed men, taking several bullets in the process, and an instant later, that noise starts again, and with it the agony in my head. For a couple of seconds, I actually feel relief that I can no longer feel the pain from my wounds, but then the other pain reaches levels where thought is almost impossible. I fill my mind with visions of Buffy and our daughter, and I continue my assault on the men, pummelling and punching, albeit with more strength than co-ordination, acting purely on instinct. I feel the pain in my head increasing, becoming more and more unbearable, and I know that consciousness will soon be gone. I hope Buffy has Dawson under control.

*-*-*

I watch with dismay as I see Spike slump at the sight of that recorder. I know what it is, and I understand Spike's reaction. It takes me a second or two to realise that the feelings he's giving off don't match his physical reaction. He's not as dejected as his body language is implying. And he's moving, well, more shuffling towards the guns. He's going to attack the ones he can affect, and it's going to be up to me to sort Dawson. Ok, just what I wanted to do anyway.

I'm struggling to keep talking to Dawson. She's using a conversation with me to add to Spike's apprehension at what's to come. I don't even know if what I'm saying is making any sense, because I'm concentrating on Spike, hoping to catch some sign of when he decides to act.

I'm surprised when the van comes to a sudden stop, and I hear raised voices from outside. I don't know what's happened, and, by the look of it, neither does Dawson, but while she's distracted, Spike makes his move.

He moves quickly, but I immediately hear gunfire. I ignore it, turning instead to Dawson. One glance and it's obvious she hadn't planned on this. She thought she'd broken Spike so completely that he wouldn't be able to do anything.

Even so, I'm not quick enough, and the air fills with a noise. In itself, it's not exactly musical, but it's not unpleasant either, but I know what its purpose is. My instinct is to turn around and see what's happening to Spike, but I fight it and lunge at Dawson instead. She's faster than I'd have thought, and she evades my first attempt. I lunge again, and realise that the gunfire has stopped. That either means that Spike's been stopped, or that he's incapacitated the guards, but again, I don't dare look around to see. On my second attempt, I manage to knock the recorder out of Dawson's hands, and it skitters along the floor out of reach. I scramble for it, switching it off, and see Spike lying on top of the two men, sprawled, not moving. I'm scared for him, but I've got to accept that he knew what he was doing, and that he did it for Zara.

I know time's against us, as the noise of the scuffle must have filtered through to outside by now, so I've got to finish this, and now. I throw myself at Dawson, who's looking part scared, part hopeful. She knows help's on the way, but this time, I put everything I've got into the kick I aim at her, and she falls, hitting her head on the side of the van before slumping, unconscious, to the floor.

I rush to Spike, and pick him up. There've been times when Slayer strength wasn't welcome, but this isn't one of them. I kick open the back of the van, and jump out, ready to run.

To my surprise, I'm met with Riley. He's pointing a gun at me, but there's something about his face that says 'Trust me', and when I look around to see a barrage of armed men I realise I have no choice.

He barks an order I don't hear to one of the men who goes into the van and comes out carrying Dawson. He then points towards another van, and I walk, carrying Spike, towards it. For an instant, I thought I saw Anya in the crowd, but it was so fast, I think I may have imagined it.

I hear another barked order, this time a 'Stand down', as I lift Spike into the back of the other van. A moment later, Dawson's inert form is dumped on the floor beside me, then Riley gets in, with another man whose face I recognise, but can't immediately place.

I feel betrayed. He asked me, begged me, with his eyes, to trust him, but ..

I ignore them. I'm holding Spike in my arms, checking him first for wounds. He's taken eight, four in his chest, two in his right leg and one in his left, with another grazing his cheek. I look around, desperately searching for something to use to stem the blood flow, and I'm handed a piece of cloth. I glance up at the hand holding it, and see Riley, his jacket discarded, and his white, cotton t-shirt in his hand. I nod my thanks, and start to rip up the offering to make padding and rough bandages.

"We'll get someone to look at him when we arrive."

Riley's voice barely makes it through my consciousness. I look up from what I'm doing. Ok, I admit it. I'm confused. He sounds like he cares.

"Don't pretend you're interested," I mutter, under my breath, while I go back to my work.

I ignore him after that, although Riley and the other man are talking quietly, mainly about Dawson.

"She's hurt pretty bad," is the opinion of the other man. I've been wracking my brain since I saw him, trying to work out where I've seen him before. It's the connection with Dawson that does it, that's when I saw him before. He came looking for Riley, and she was there too. What was his name? Westgate, that was it, Simon Westgate.

When I've finished, I pull Spike's upper body into my lap, holding him tight as I sit against the side of the van. When they realise they've got my attention again, Riley squats beside me, trying to make eye contact.

"What?" I ask angrily. I'd actually believed he was on our side.

"Buffy, it's going to be ok," he promises.

"Oh, so you're going to take us home, and take that .. woman .. away to pay for what she's done to him?"

"Not exactly," he admits. "But, you've got to believe I don't mean you, either of you, any harm. Simon too. We just want to take you somewhere you'll be safe for a while. There're things you don't know, important things, things we've only discovered recently. I haven't been able to tell Giles everything, because we didn't want you giving anything away, but .."

"That's rich," I tell him. "You didn't want us giving anything away? You mean you just wanted to make sure we didn’t get away."

I turn away from him then, because if I don't, I know I'll hit him, and at the moment, that won't do any good at all.

"I'll talk to you when you've calmed down a bit," he promises.

I really don’t know what we've got to talk about, but right now, I'm more concerned about Spike. I remember the recorder in my pocket, and almost wish I hadn't brought it. It's a weapon that can be used against Spike, and that makes him more vulnerable. On the other hand, if I can get Willow to analyse it, maybe we can find some way to erase the effect it has on him. I'm torn between putting my hand in my pocket and just squeezing the thing until it's a useless pile of electronics, and ignoring it and hoping for the best. Of course, it's only a copy, and destroying it won't stop them from using another recording, so I decide to keep it, for now.

My mind goes back to when I thought I saw Anya. Could she be following us? Teleporting from place to place to keep track of us? I hope so, because with Spike in this state, we're in no position to consider another escape attempt without help.

I concentrate on Spike, feeling my love for him, hoping he can sense it, in the desperate hope that he'll be healed by it, at least until I can get hold of something sharp so I can give him some blood.

Riley's watching me, I can feel it without looking at him, but when I do glance up, I'm surprised at what I see. I don’t see the face of self-congratulation that I expect. I see a face full of doubt and regret and not a little, well, not fear, but wariness. There's more going on here than I know about, but my first priority is Spike, so I go back to him, doing my best to show him with thought and touch that I'm here, and that I love him and need him like I never thought I'd need anyone.

Chapter 32 - A Gilded Cage

I suppose, from her point of view, it does look bad. It still hurts, though. It hurts to see the hatred in her eyes. Except in dreams, I've long ago given up the idea of seeing love in her eyes, but it's still hard to accept the opposite.

Seeing her with him like this, it's .. beautiful - in a way that's hard to describe. Her love for him is complete and total. It's what I once though her incapable of giving. It's what I once dreamed she would give me.

Westgate's watching me. The funny thing is, that he doesn't completely trust me either.

I met him during my induction to the Defenders. He didn't tell me much about himself, but I left that interview feeling like I didn't have many secrets from him.

As soon as I could, I started to find out what I could about Dawson. It wasn't easy, not at first, but after a while, I found that she wasn't popular. People didn't want to talk about her, until they knew I could be trusted. Things .. happen to people who get in her way. Nothing's ever been proved, but there's enough circumstantial evidence to at least raise questions.

Then there's her background. Her rise through the ranks has been nothing short of meteoric. And I can't find any record of her qualifications. Yet, what she's been credited with - it's cutting edge stuff.

I watched, and I listened. I had an advantage, of course, because I had Giles' information too. The more I found out about her, the clearer it became to me that she wasn't what she seemed. To get to where she was, she had to have had help. And what I knew about her dealings with Spike didn't gel with what I knew about the Defenders.

What I didn't realise was, that careful as I was, I wasn't careful enough. Westgate got wind of what I was doing, and he arranged a secret meeting with me. When it became obvious that he'd been looking into Dawson's actions too, I decided to tell him what I knew, and what I'd surmised. The details of what she'd done to Spike were news to him. The cloning thing, that was official policy. But officially, Spike was just supposed to be held in case further samples were needed. The rest of it was improvisation from her. Then, there was Giles' theory about followers of Blar, which ties in too well with the suggestion that Dawson has somehow split loyalties. Westgate believed me more quickly than I'd have expected too. He'd already suspected what he called 'subT infiltration'. I guess there were just too many question marks around her.

That was a couple of weeks ago. I had to promise not to discuss Westgate with Giles or anyone. I knew that any leaks would result in no further information from Westgate. And, I never knew when his co-operation might be vital. Then, this morning, he came to me. He'd heard about Dawson's plans. He wanted to set up an alternative operation, and asked if I wanted in on it. He hoped that, if Buffy saw me, she might go along with him without a fight.

I thought about it, but there wasn't a lot of time. In the end, I knew it was my only chance of keeping them out of Dawson's clutches, so I agreed.

The counter-measure was set up quickly, but Dawson hadn't been expecting an attack from within the Defenders. All her defences were aimed against the witches and Spike. I'm not sure even now exactly how she got past Willow.

The plan is just to keep them safe. There's no suggestion that we're going to release them. All this intervention does is keep them away from Dawson. Westgate's too convinced of their value to the project to just open the door, but he's promised me that they'll be well treated and safe, at least until the baby's born, and that was the best I could do. I can't see Buffy thinking I've done her a favour, though.

When we arrive at our destination, a cave about ten miles out of Sunnydale, we drive inside. Once inside, the van is taken underground by a hydraulic system. This base is so secret, it almost doesn't exist. Dawson certainly shouldn't know about it, and it's been made clear to me that I'm as much a captive here as Buffy is until Westgate's been convinced of my loyalty.

We're taken deep underground, and brought to a medical facility to rival any in the world. A team was waiting for our arrival, and Spike is whisked into an emergency room while Buffy and I are kept outside by a security detail. Dawson's also spirited away, but I don’t really care where. So, we watch through a transparent panel while Spike's wounds are tended. When that is complete, he's wheeled along a corridor, and into another lift with Buffy and me following closely. We travel deeper still, and are then taken to what are described as our quarters.

I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't this. The room given to Buffy and Spike would rival most good hotels. It's large, spacious, has two beds and a comfortable seating area with TV and a music system. Spike is transferred to one of the beds, then the medical attendants leave, while I'm told by the security staff that my room is next door. I follow, reluctantly, wanting to be there for Buffy, but I'm informed that there's an interconnecting door between the two rooms.

"Open it, Buffy, please. I want to explain," I plead as I leave. She gives no sign that she's heard.

Once I'm locked in my own five-star cell, I quickly open my half of the interconnecting door. I'm not surprised to note that the other half is still locked.

I lie on one of the beds to try to think. My mind's in turmoil, and I'm feeling a strange mixture of guilt at what I've done, and relief that they're safe. Then there's revulsion at what Buffy has become. I'm torn between an irrational fear of her, and a fear for her safety. Despite my instinctive fear of her, she's never done me any harm. Ok, she broke my heart, but if what I understand is true, she was human then.

The news that I've been conditioned to feel like this about non-humans has made me angry. I didn't believe it when Giles told me. I mean, what I feel is what I feel. But, once I'd recovered from the initial shock, I just knew that it was true. It's my first priority, if we get out of this, to get that checked out, and reversed if I can. I want to be able to trust what I feel.

I'm not happy with how things turned out, but I think I did the right thing - certainly the only thing I could think of to ensure that they both, or perhaps even all three of them, survive. If I'd had more warning, then maybe .. but maybe doesn't do any good.

I must have dozed, because I'm wakened by an unfamiliar sound. I sit up quickly, and notice that the interconnecting door is open, and Buffy's peering through. I swing my legs over the edge of the bed, and wait for her to say something. There's always the possibility that she only opened the door so she could beat me up.

"Why?" she asks.

I get up and walk towards her. It's not obvious what she's asking about, but I take a guess.

"Would you rather be with Dawson?" I ask.

"No, but .."

"That's the choice I had. I could either let Dawson have you, or I could help bring you here. It's not good, I know that, but it's better than the alternative."

She doesn't answer, so I speak again. "How's he doing?"

She nods. "Better, I think. I gave him some blood, but .."

"You what?" I notice for the first time the makeshift bandage around her wrist.

"I gave him some blood. Last time Dawson did this to him, it brought him back. This time, well, it hasn't, at least, not yet."

"I know you heal better with blood, I read that in Spike's file. But, we could've got him some blood - human even - if you'd asked."

"There's blood in the fridge. I've given him some of that too, but mine's better," she replies, not meeting my eyes. "I can't give him too much of mine, because of the baby."

We don't speak for a while, and her hand runs up and down her swelling stomach. It seems to have grown visibly since the last time I saw her.

"How are you doing?" I ask.

"I'm fine, I just need Spike back."

She pulls herself up, steeling herself, before she speaks again.

"You said you'd explain, so explain," she demands.

I tell her what I know, about my belief that Dawson's somehow caught up in this group of Blar's. That the Defenders as a whole didn't know about what Dawson did to Spike.

"So where is she? Dawson?"

"She's going to be held here too," I tell her. "They're going to question her as soon as she's well enough. At least, if her head injury hasn't done permanent damage."

She shrugs. There was a time when the prospect that she'd hurt a human would've caused some grief, but there's no sign of it now. All she knows is that Dawson hurt someone she loves.

"So, how did Dawson get past Willow?"

It's the one thing I don't understand about what happened, and I know that if I get the information, Westgate will be more likely to trust me.

"She had a demon with her."

"Demon? What species?"

"I don't know. It looked a bit like Jacob and Rebecca, but bigger. We haven't found any records on their species, but Giles might come up with something. He's bound to be researching."

"So, what happened? I mean, demons are your thing, aren't they?"

"It seemed like magic just wouldn't work when it was there. Dawson, that's what she said. Once we were outside, I just didn't see it again. Don't know where it went."

"Oh," I manage. A demon that can stop magic from working, that's quite an ally.

"I'm going back to Spike."

She walks into her own room, but without locking the door between us. She lies beside him, wrapping her arms around him as well as she can with the bump between them. I watch for a few seconds before I wrench my gaze away. I used to picture Buffy like that, swelling with my child. It's hard to see it now that it's Spike's. I return to my bed, and lie down to think.

I followed them for as long as I could. I know the van drove into a cave. I waited for a short while, then followed them in, but there was no sign of anyone. Teleporting's a great way to get around, but it has limitations. It doesn't work underground, and that's where I assume they went. With a sigh, I head back to the Magic Box.

I find everyone there in research mode. They're trying to find out about the demon Dawson had with her, but they look up expectantly when they see me.

"Where are they?" Giles asks what they all want to know.

"Well, I sort of know, but I can't go there."

"What do you mean? Is this some sort of rule or something, because, we've got to get them back." Xander sounds irritated, but I know he's just worried, so I try to ignore his tone.

"I mean I can't go there. I think they're underground. There's a cave, not far from here, and the van went inside. When I followed, the van was gone, so I assume there's some way to get underground. I could feel Buffy's need for vengeance, so she's not been spirited to another world. Wherever it is, it's well hidden and I can't teleport through rock."

Their faces all fall, and I don't understand, until I realise they don't know the whole story.

"Dawson's hurt," I add.

That got their attention pretty fast.

"How?" It's Giles this time.

"I don't know for sure. Spike and Buffy were in a van, and Dawson was there, with a couple of armed men. There was a lot of noise coming from the van - I assume they tried something, anyway, there was gunfire. There was a roadblock just outside town. It looked like more of the Defenders, but this time Riley was there. Buffy came out of the van then, carrying Spike. Looked like he'd been hurt pretty bad. Riley threatened Buffy with a gun, and she got into a different van, so I followed. They took Dawson too, and she looked like she'd gone ten rounds with Buffy, which I guess might have been the case."

"But Buffy was ok?" Xander jumps in.

"She looked it," I reassure him.

"Wait," Giles says, holding up his hand. "You say Riley took them at gunpoint? Was there anyone else there?"

"Well, there were a lot of guns around, but only two of the men seemed significant - Riley and another man. Didn't recognise him. If you ask me, he was in charge. Riley had the gun, but I don't think he was giving the orders."

"I knew we couldn't trust him," shouts Xander. "He's betrayed all of us. He's betrayed Buffy."

"Maybe," Giles says slowly. "He hasn't given me a lot of information recently, but he did have the impression that what was done to Spike before was pretty much Dawson working alone. Maybe he got the chance to save Spike from more of Dawson's brand of torture. If that's the best he could do without giving away his true allegiance, then, maybe he's still with us."

"You don't know that," Xander accuses.

"No, I don't. But we don't know it's not true either. Now, I think the priorities have changed. We need to know more about where they're being held. Anya, can you show Willow where this cave is? And Willow, can you find out what you can about what's under it? Geological surveys or whatever there is on the net?"

I nod, and pull a map from one of the bookshelves close to the research table. It takes me a couple of minutes, but I find the area, and give Willow the map reference, then leave her to work her electronic, non-magical, magic. She's muttering something about that area, and something ringing a bell. I leave her to it.

Willow seems a little, I don't know, off? I remark on that to Xander, and he explains.

"When the demon came in, the one that killed magical energy, she lost her new sight. But, she says she wasn't blind, either. She said it was fuzzy, not much more than light and dark, but there was something. As soon as the magic came back, it went again. I think she's .. disappointed or something. I think she's just accepted that she wouldn't see again in the normal sense, and now she's not sure."

I got used to Xander's preoccupation with other women a while ago. I did worry about his feelings for Buffy, but, with Willow being gay, she didn't seem much of a threat, but in some ways, he worries more about Willow than anyone else - especially since the whole 'dark' phase she went through. In view of our slightly indefinite situation, I decide it'd be best if I don't hang around just now. I make my excuses, and go to see what's happening on the vengeance front. It's pretty routine, nothing to even make me think twice.

When I went back to vengeance, I thought it would be just like before, that my time as a human wouldn't make any difference, but I was wrong. The first case I did, she was moving towards asking me to kill her boyfriend. It took a bit of quick talking on my part to come up with something that satisfied her, but didn't result in his death. I told myself at first that it just wasn't the right option for her, but it was more than that. I just can't bring myself to kill these humans.

D'Hoffryn was worried at first. He said I couldn't do the job if I had these 'human morals'. But, with a bit of imagination, I've managed to come up with wishes that really hurt the double-dealing, lying men they're aimed at, without doing anything lethal. Like the man who kept lying to his girlfriend - I just arranged that no one would ever believe him again. The effects of that wish have been surprisingly far-reaching - simple, but very effective. Even d'Hoffryn's pleased.

When I go back to the Magic Box, Willow's showing the others what she's found. There is a huge area under that cave - inter-linked caverns that would be ideal for a secret base. She's also scanned the local paper archive, and she came across reports that suggested there was significant building work going on in the area. Some conservancy group complained that the work was interfering with the life-cycle of a rare orchid, but the whole protest went quiet too quickly, and there's no sign of whatever was built. It certainly has all the hallmarks of something Government instigated - particularly the fact that reports stopped rather abruptly and without any obvious conclusion.

Not that any of that helps us to get to them.

We're sitting and digesting what we've been told, when I hear a strange sizzling sound, and when I look around, I see we've been joined by Jacob and Rebecca. I must say, he looks a lot better than he did last time I saw him, and I tell him that. He seems embarrassed by the attention, but Rebecca silences him with a look and asks what's been happening while they've been gone.

Giles explains, while everyone else adds what they think he's forgotten. I keep quiet. I know they all think I don't know how to do that, but they're wrong. I've always been a bit of an outsider in this group, but I feel it more now than before.

When he gets to the part about the demon that soaks up magic, there's a reaction from the two newcomers. I don't know anything about their physiology, but I'd guess it was their equivalent of going very pale. In fact, their colour actually heightened, becoming redder. The reaction doesn't go unnoticed.

"Do you recognise that species? Are they native to your world?" Giles asks.

"If they're what I think they are, they're not actually native to any world," Jacob explains. "It seems as though several of our legends are more than just legends."

He looks at Rebecca, and she nods, agreeing that he should continue.

"You must understand that what I know, I learned as if reading a very old story. Some or all of it may be erroneous, but I'll tell you how it went. The time scale would be similar to Blar, I suppose, although that wasn't clear. The same general period, certainly, but we're talking about so long ago that a century either way would be considered accurate."

He takes a deep breath, and then continues. "You see, at that time, my people were still in the early stages of peaceful co-existence. Although most people were happy to live in peace, there was one, I suppose you'd call it a tribe, which wasn't happy with things. This tribe had been among the most powerful, and some of its members resented what they saw as their loss of status and influence. They had long prided themselves on their physical strength, and they had, in fact, had the reputation of being warlike - of taking and defending territory in battle. Although they had ostensibly been at peace for a long time, there were some aspects of their history that were remembered, and instead of being consigned to history, they were kept alive by constant reminders in daily life. The most important of these memories, involved the loss of a huge part of their territory to another tribe. Of course, I don't know the truth or otherwise of the story they believed, but it is sufficient to know that among them, to question the facts of such a legend was considered treason."

"The other tribe was very different. They had obtained their influence by a combination of intellectual excellence, and the study of the arcane. Their weapon, although it was primarily a defensive one, was magic."

"A leader rose to power in the first tribe who was particularly fanatical in his belief of the wrongs done to his people. He put tremendous effort into a project which was designed to ensure their success in re-taking that territory. We had, even then, met with many creatures from many worlds, and one of those was known to be able to nullify the effects of magic. That race, however, wasn't able to survive in our world, and so was of no use to them. The project worked to combine the characteristics of that race with that of our own so that the result would have the desired effect on magic, but would have loyalties to its creators."

"The story goes on to tell that a large number of these creatures were made. Their appearance was similar to our own, but they were considerable larger than are we, larger even than your own race. They were used, and the battle was won, the territory was reclaimed. Unfortunately, the rest of my people had to react to such a threat, and steps were taken to disperse the war-like tribe, to mix them among all others, and the racial hatred that was central to their being was gradually eroded. The creatures they had made had, so the story goes, actually been destroyed by their creators when their task was accomplished, because they were perceived as a threat because of their size and strength."

"If Blar was indeed around at that time, or if he came across the details of how these creatures were created, it's possible that he hid them on one of the worlds he used for his own purposes. If they were fertile, there could be many of them by now, and if they weren't, it would probably be possible to use some sort of cloning technique to keep a stock of them available."

There is silence for a few moments, then Rebecca speaks.

"Of course, we don't know any of this is true. It's all just legends and supposition, but the idea that Blar's followers being reality seemed pretty far-fetched to me a short while ago, too, but now .."

I look around the group as they think about what has been said. Willow doesn't look at all well. It's probably due to her experience earlier with her sight and all, but it's obvious she needs some quiet time.

Xander looks fit to explode. He so wants to do something, anything, that he's like a clock-spring that's wound too tight. He just doesn't know which way to jump, and that's when he's going to get into trouble.

Giles keeps rubbing his eyes, his glasses in hand. He's even forgotten to clean them - a sure sign that he needs to sleep.

Jenna? Well, I don't know her that well, and she's even more of an outsider than I am, but she's yawning too. I make a decision for all of us.

"Xander," I say, walking towards him, using the walk that he always used to say drove him wild. "I want you to come home with me. You look like you need company, and I'd like to have sex tonight."

"Ahn," he protests. "We can't just go home and leave them there."

"I suspect we have to, at least for now," Giles disagrees, for once too tired to be embarrassed at my reference to sex. "We'll all be better for some sleep. Tomorrow we'll see if we can work out a way of either contacting Riley or getting into whatever's under that cave. In the meantime, we have to hope that, whatever's happening to them, Riley won't let them be hurt."

"That's a pretty big hope," Xander replies.

"Well, no, it isn't," I counter. "I felt Buffy's need for vengeance as she climbed out of the van. I can still feel it, but it's more muted now. If she was being hurt, or Spike was being hurt, she'd be broadcasting it loud and clear. For now, I think they're safe. So, are you coming with me, or do I have to find someone else."

"Anya!" he says, scandalised. As if I couldn't find another orgasm partner easily. Of course, I probably wouldn't enjoy it so much with someone else, although, Grebben males are considered a pretty good catch for a one-night itch-scratching. No good for long term, though, because of the ..

I stop that train of thought because I realise Xander's said something else, breaking through my thoughts. He's standing by the door, looking at me expectantly, and the others are moving too. Good. Except I don't plan on Xander getting much sleep tonight.