Chapter 12
Spike refrained from any kind of sexual contact with Buffy, including kisses, no matter how tempted he was at night as he held her body next to his. He knew he pushed far beyond any normal boundaries that first night, letting his jealousy gain control over his body, creating an uncrossable chasm between them. She seemed receptive of his presence once again, not shying away from his accidental brushes, or of being in the same room as him. She started laughing at his jokes, genuine laughter, not the fake chuckles she used to force out when they were around her friends. Spike thought that they seemed to turn a corner and their relationship was of friendship instead of forced hostility.

Entertaining the idea that he might have something more with Buffy, Spike made reservations at a nice restaurant. Buffy needed to get her mind off of her mother. Joyce’s health had declined since he first met her. She slept during most of their visits. Even the paintings Buffy brought stopped giving Joyce joy. Spike knew the end was near and instinctively wanted to protect Buffy from the pain, but he knew he couldn’t shield her forever.

~*~*~

The dinner was delightfully romantic, Spike being the perfect gentleman. Buffy enjoyed the food, the atmosphere, and even the company. They walked up to the apartment arm in arm, not even realizing the comfortable pose they held. Spike lighted candles on the mantle as they watched the late night news. Spike sat on the couch, letting Buffy lean into his frame as she fell asleep. He sat there through Jay Leno’s Tonight Show, but finally had to admit that he had to wake Buffy up to go to bed. He moved forward, letting her body slump down into the cushions. He looked at her sweet face, so regretful of the circumstances that brought him into her life, yet so thankful for them, too. Not being able to control himself anymore, Spike leaned his lips against hers, enjoying the warm pliant lips against his. She woke up with a start, feeling his unfamiliar, cool lips on hers. She looked up into his eyes. Surprised green met lustful blue and the connection was made. Buffy moved forward, and let her lips brush against his. It was his turn to be surprised. His eyes turned to midnight blue when he saw no malice, no hatred, nothing but lust and friendship shining back at him. Could it be more than just lust? Spike pushed his thoughts out of his mind, willing to take what she would give him. He picked her up, letting her drape her legs over his forearm and arms around his neck. He carried her into their bedroom and laid her down. She moved quickly and caught his arm as he turned around. He looked back at her, seeing her fingers slowly unbutton her blouse. With trembling hands, she reached out for him. He sat down, next to her, watching her shrug off her blouse and unzip her skirt. Standing before him clad in bra, panties, garter belt and stockings, Buffy breathed in slowly not knowing what else to do. She began to move her hands over her body, suddenly embarrassed at her brazenness. Spike reached out, stopping her arms. He looked soulfully into her eyes, silently thanking God of the gift he was about to receive. His fingers found her hips and rested there. His head came forward to lean on her small abdomen. He felt her shake and kissed her belly button, reassuring her.

Slowly, his fingers moved down her thighs and reached for the clasp of her garter belt. Unlatching each tiny clasp, he reverently worshiped her body. Spike dragged her silky stockings down her legs, trailing his fingers across her uncovered skin. She hissed as he tickled behind her knee, caressing the soft skin. She stepped out of the stockings, letting Spike look at her. This was more of a gift for herself than for him. She felt so sexy and loved tonight that she wanted it to continue. Spike took off the garter belt, his eyes roaming over her scantily clad body. She smiled down, encouraging him to continue. He reached for her again, only to stop a few millimeters away from her bare belly, savoring the electricity flowing from her body to his. She watched Spike withdraw from her, only to see him start taking off his shirt; she was glad he changed when they got home and she didn’t have to sit through him taking off his whole suit. He revealed his toned body, letting her eyes wander over his skin. He proudly sat on the bed while she stared at him.

Spike took her hand and gently pulled her closer, her knees hitting the mattress between his jean clad legs. His hands flew behind her, reeling her even closer. His cool fingers danced up her spine, finding the clasp of her bra. The straps fell first because she held the cups. He smiled knowingly and carefully moved her hands way, letting the lingerie fall to the ground. Her rosy nipples stood out from the brown areolas. He felt her falter, once again. He made eye contact and brought his face closer to her body, not looking away as he made contact with her breast. He slowly sucked in the nipple, running his tongue around it, making her moan. He paid similar attention to her other breast, all without loosing eye contact. His fingers found the edge of her lace panties, drawing them down her legs as he sucked on her breasts. She moved out of them, straddling his hips as she climbed onto the bed. He twisted his body, letting her fall down to the mattress, laying her pliant body out for him to gaze at. He noticed her breathing increased and a rosy tinge to her skin, feeling proud knowing he created it. Spike stood up and quickly divesting of his jeans, he got back onto the bed. His erection pressed tightly against Buffy’s leg as he moved closer. Holding her like a prized doll, Spike began to kiss her. First he met her lips, sucking on her lower lip and making her moan. He trailed down her cheek to her neck. Inhaling her scent, he licked and nipped at the tender skin, letting his lips acquaint themselves with her skin.

His hands were not idle while he made love to her face with his mouth. They caressed, pinched, and touched every part he could reach. She mewled with pleasure as his finger wound in her soft curly hair, probing to find a prize. She widened her legs, allowing him access to her treasure. His hips found themselves pressing up against hers, ready to connect. He looked into her shiny eyes, knowing she was there with him. He grasped his long cock, positioning at her entrance. In one smooth motion, Spike seated himself in her warmth. Her tight channel clenched at the invasion. He kissed her lips, letting his tongue probe inside her mouth. He felt her body relax, not only did her tongue play with his, but he felt her muscles relax around him, letting him move in and out smoothly. He set a slow pace, letting her body become accustomed to his love making.

He watched the emotions cross Buffy’s face, the wonderment and pleasure carrying him through it. Her back arched off the bed, moaning his name. He smiled, knowing she gave herself to him, allowing him to love her. He felt his heart swell in love for her. He drove into her two more times, finally succumbing to his own pleasure. He rested a bit, still connected inside her. Slowly, realizing that he probably was crushing her, Spike moved out of her and off of her. He gathered her body into his arms, feeling her own arms wrap around him and they went to sleep.

 

 

Chapter 13

The next day Buffy got up early to skate in the morning and opened the shop at noon. Spike dropped her off at the gallery ten minutes until noon, wishing her a good day and headed off to his own office.

Buffy set her belongings in the back, ready to unlock the doors when the answering machine caught her attention. She grabbed a pad of paper and pressed play, thinking it was a customer. “Yes, this is Gladys Mayer from the Sunnydale Rehabilitation Center. I need to get in contact with Buffy Summers.”

With her heart thumping, instinctively knowing it was her mother, she dialed the number, preparing herself for the inevitable news. “This is Buffy Summers, I got a call from Gladys Mayer.”

A few clicks whirled in Buffy’s ear when she finally was connected. “Gladys here, may I help you?”

“Yes, I’m Buffy Summers, I believe you called?”

“Oh… yes dear… I’m sorry to say…” Buffy’s eyes closed, her suspicions were confirmed.

“She’s gone?”

“I’m terribly sorry dear. She never woke up this morning.” Tears ran unchecked down Buffy’s face. The nurse rattled off some information that Buffy didn’t hear. Her knees weakened, leaving Buffy sobbing on the cold floor. She should call someone. Willow? Hank? Spike? Dawn? The phone lay at her side, beeping from the disconnection. Without much thought, Buffy dialed Dawn’s cell phone number. Buffy didn’t have to say anything, Dawn knew. She could tell by Buffy’s voice.

The day was much of a blur, Buffy had no idea what was going on or who was with her. All she knew was her mother was gone and she was free. The pain of her mother’s death was surprisingly not painful. Buffy knew it was inevitable and saw it coming closer. The only pain she had was to lose her best friend, never again able to go visit her, talk to her, comb Joyce’s thinning hair. The heartbreak Buffy was feeling wasn’t directly related to her mother, it was because of Spike. Last night’s revelation that she loved him, truly loved him, broke her heart because she knew she what she had to do. Their relationship was based on something wrong, unnatural.

Sometime during the day, Dawn called Spike, only to find out that he was in a meeting. She left a message with Harmony that it was a family emergency, but by the time Spike came out of the meeting, Harmony was gone. He had no idea what he was walking into when he opened the door to the gallery. It was quite a shock to see Oz holding little Tara in the front room, rocking her asleep. Oz’s normally impassive face was twisted with sadness. Spike sprinted into the back, passing Xander on his way. Spike stepped in the normally warm work room to find almost all the ladies in his life sitting on the couch, huddled in a hug. Dawn and Willow flanked Buffy’s suddenly miniscule frame. Buffy peaked through a gap between Willow and Dawn to see him fall to his knees, tears running down his face, almost like how she first collapsed. She got up and went over to him. Kneeling on the floor, she took his shaking body to hers, trying to give the comfort that she knew he needed. Buffy knew he had been visiting Joyce without her, getting to know her, making her time pass faster. Willow and Dawn left the two lovers, embraced on the floor, alone.

The sunset as the moon rose and Spike held Buffy to his chest. Her breathing was slow and deep, indicating her sleep. Tears still ran down Spike’s face, he was quite fond of the older Summers’ woman. Doubt littered his mind, knowing that she could pull away from him again. Their agreement was based on sparing Joyce’s feelings and now that her feelings were inconsequential, would Buffy find him inconsequential?

~*~ ~*

The day of Joyce’s funeral was so bright and cheery, such a contradiction to the feelings of the few guests surrounding the grave, watching as a white casket got lowered into the ground. Spike held Buffy as she wept for her mother’s life. Willow, Oz, and Tara stood behind them, tying to give Buffy the support she desperately needed. Xander stood with some people from the skating association Buffy belonged to. Dawn stood next to Buffy, weeping for the mother she never had and the one she did have and rejected. Hank held his obligatory husband spot on the other side of the casket appropriately sullen and stoic. When he showed up, Spike felt Buffy’s body stiffen automatically. He watched Hank through half closed eyes, directing Buffy away from him.

Roses flew through the air, hitting the ground that swallowed Joyce’s still body and people turned their back, retreating to their inner sanctums. Spike continued to hold Buffy, letting her pay tribute her mother. Hank walked up behind them knowing this would probably be the last time he would have a chance to talk to Buffy. “Buffy.” Her body stiffened into a board. Spike looked over his shoulder at Hank, glaring. “I’m sorry… she was very special.”

Slowly, Buffy turned her body. Spike saw the fire flaming from the sadness, “Don’t.” Buffy held her chin held. “You have no idea how special she IS.” Without another word, Buffy strode towards Spike’s car, waiting for him. Dawn already had taken up residence in the backseat.

After a couple minutes, Buffy hazard a glance at the two men that were talking animatedly. Spike shook his finger and stood menacingly in front of Hank. She couldn’t hear their words, but knew it was about Buffy. She watched Hank say something nasty, she could tell by the way his mouth formed the words. She knew all to well the scathing words that that mouth could form. She saw Spike tense his jaw and strike. His fist flew so fast, Buffy didn’t even have time to register it before Hank was on the ground, clutching his jaw. Spike bended down close to Hank and said a few words. Then, he got up like nothing happened and walked to the car.

Back at their apartment, Buffy bandaged Spike’s knuckles in the bathroom. She noticed on the drive back that they became purple with tiny cuts marring his normally smooth skin. She ushered him past Dawn, Willow, Oz, Tara, and Xander to fix them. She didn’t ask what the argument was about, and he didn’t offer her any explanation. He sat patiently on the toilet and let her fuss over him, reminding him of the first time he met Joyce and the way Buffy fussed over her. Tears flowed between the two in the tiny bathroom, ignoring the food and guests in the other room only to cling to the other.

Food in the refrigerator, guests long gone, and their thoughts and doubts hidden left the apartment’s tenants quiet. Buffy fell asleep once again in Spike’s warm embrace, wondering what would come tomorrow and how she would handle it.

 

Chapter 14
Sitting over at the dining table with a mug of coffee and the paper, Spike watched Buffy move around. She didn’t get up early to train. Her brushes were dry. Spike was worried. She took Joyce’s death so gracefully. Never screaming at the injustice, the insanity, only tears of sorrow and love. As it got closer to noon, Buffy watched Spike. He showed no signs of going to work, she shouldn’t question it because she showed no signs of going back to her life. He caught her staring at him, “I’m not going to work today, kitten.”

She looked shocked, “I thought… the big merger…” Buffy didn’t want him to put his life on hold for her necessities.

“Can wait, pet.” Spike walked up to Buffy, holding his arms wide. She stepped closer, into his embrace. His head tilted down, burying itself in her fragrant hair.

She let his embrace warm her bones and then pulled away slowly, “No, you go. I’ll be fine here.”

Spike looked down into her green eyes, nodding. He wrapped her back into his embrace and stood there for a minute, drinking in her comfort and pouring out his.

~*~*~

Spike climbed the apartment stairs, wearily. He unlocked the door, opening and getting into the dark chamber. Spike didn’t notice the loss of warmth in the apartment nor the lack of noise that usually came from Buffy. He went into the kitchen and made himself a drink, slowly looking over the mail. He sat quietly, unwinding from the countless phone calls he had today when it suddenly hit him. Buffy was not in the apartment. He looked at the clock, it was past eight, too late to be at the gallery. He moved quickly through the apartment, first to their room and then to her work room… it was empty. The painting supplies long gone from the shelves, canvases wrapped up and taken. He went back into their room and opened the drawers… empty. She had left.

Sitting on the couch, the one he bought for her, Spike sunk down into the cushions. She went through with her threat. Once her mother was out of the picture she would allow her father to fry in hell for his transgression and let Spike fry along with him.

A/N: TBC. This isn't the end, don't worry.

 

 

Chapter 15
Four months later…

Buffy strolled down the sandy beach in a pair of white linen Capri pants, a yellow t-shirt, and white zip up sweatshirt. The sun popped out from beneath the clouds, warming the cool air. She walked up to a large flat rock and sat down with her sketchbook. Gliding her hand across the paper, Buffy recorded the beauty that was early morning in the Bodega Bay area. The cool breeze rustled the trees around Buffy as she continued to sketch the blue waters and green pastures. Her golden hair, now tinted slightly darker whipped around her face, making the daily excursion come to an end. She walked back the way she came, not disturbing the beach’s natural residents as she made her way back to her rental house, owned by her mother’s brother, Rupert Giles. She idly wondered why her uncle would own such property, surrounded by similarly large, worn houses that sold for more than half a million dollars. He was a kind man that couldn’t stand Hank Summers from the very beginning, and she knew he would not tell anyone of her whereabouts. He acted as her liaison to her customers and friends, allowing Dawn to go to school and not worry about the art shop. She didn’t want to put Willow or Xander in danger of loosing their jobs by staying loyal to her friendship so she stayed out of contact with them.

She kept her lease of her apartment, knowing she would eventually come back to it. Her uncle had told her of an angry, bleach blond man looking for her, inquiring her location. Evidently Hank had given Rupert’s name as a possible association to her. He had sent her a few letters, but she had not opened them, she send them back to her uncle, untouched. A few orders for paintings came in, giving her a necessary income. Every time she sent something to Sunnydale, Buffy would smile sweetly at the old postman, asking him to smear the location stamp. She had received several requests from Spike, through his company for paintings and she accepted the order. She knew he was trying any angle to get in touch with her, but she stayed hidden. She finished the paintings, having Rupert deliver them. Spike knew she was okay, he spent enough time studying her other paintings to know her work and he knew that what was delivered was indeed her work.

The days melted together, giving Buffy much needed time and space to grieve. She spent the mornings on inspirational hikes and the afternoons at the local ice rink. She trained harder than ever, recovering the loss of time and strength the attack cost her. She built up her stamina and ankle strength, affording new and different jumps and twists in her program.

She learned how to drive and got her license. The money she was paid from the sale of her art paid for a used car, giving her a mobility she never had. She drove down to the harbor, and up the coast. She watched the whales migrate from their mating waters to their birthing places, amazed at how elegant those large creatures could be. She painted a large 4 by 4 foot mural of a particularly large gray whale, coming up for air. His body came out of the water, revealing his forty-foot frame, dwarfing the other marine mammals around. It was her favorite painting by far. She felt like the whale’s large eye saw into her soul, searching for it.

~*~*~

Spike sat in his office, drinking his stash of whiskey away. It’s been five and a half months since she disappeared. The painting on his wall told him that she was alive and doing all right. Her strokes were clean and precise, accurate to a fault, creating an illusion of a sunrise through a corporate window. He knew she painted it for him, knew she knew morning was his favorite time of the day. It was when he held her without question and inhaled her essence. Even now, when she’s gone, he still held her in his dreams. Lying still and quiet on the bed, enjoying her warm skin against his. But it all was an illusion, just like her painting.

The sound a knocking broke through Spike’s muddled thoughts, he looked up to see Xander Harris standing in the doorframe to the office. “What do you want, whelp?”

“Are you drunk without me?” Xander walked into the room. Through the past months, the two men had gotten close in Buffy’s absence. They bonded over drinks at the local bar and became good friends. Spike even let Xander in on the little deal they had pertaining to her father. Xander was amazed that Buffy would go along with such a thing until Spike explained about her mother. Xander sat down in one of the chairs opposite of Spike’s desk.

“What’s it to you?” Spike slurred. He poured another three fingers of whiskey into his glass and gulped it down.

“Nothing, man… just… what would you do if she walked through that door, and saw you like this?” Spike looked at the door, hoping that she would walk through the door. “Relax, she ain’t here. But, if she would, you wouldn’t be earning any points with her.”

“Well, she ain’t here and she’s not going to be. She left. Left the apartment, left the shop, left me.”

“I would’ve leave you too, if you acted this way.”

Spike’s blue eyes flared with anger. Turning his gaze on Xander, they narrowed, “What did you say, wanker?”

“I said that you are being a royal pain in the ass and I don’t blame her for leaving.” Spike stood up and stalked over to Xander. Xander stood up, ready for him.

“Mind repeating that?”

“You,” Xander pushed a finger into Spike’s chest, “Are,” another push, “Being,” Spike growled, “A,” Xander ignored the warning and continued to poke him, “Pain in the ass.”

Spike pulled his fist back, “Don’t want to hurt you, whelp.”

“Whatever, Spike. The point is, if she happens to come by again you are in no condition to get her back.” Xander backed away, heading to the door.

“She isn’t going to come back.” Spike’s voice sounded suddenly sobered.

Xander turned around, “Are you sure about that?” Xander walked out of the room, leaving Spike to contemplate what he’d said.

tbc

a/n: Reviews? Where are you all? Waiting for the reviews so I can hurry up and finish posting the story

 

Chapter 16
Spike huddled deeper in his clack leather duster. Her mumbled under his breathe about stupid whelps and their ideas. The arena’s seats were ice cold and hard as nails. Spike couldn’t get comfortable as he watched the room fill up with spectators. It was Saturday mid morning and Xander dragged him to a local ice skating competition, in hopes to get a lead on Buffy’s whereabouts. Spike didn’t want to be here, he’d rather be at home, sleeping in his warm bed that still smelled sweet, like Buffy. Being here reminded him of her. Of watching her practice with her coach. The loops, lutzes, combos, spins, turns, jumps… everything here breathed as Buffy. Names like Choctaw, Biellmann, Rocker, Flying Camel were now names he knew, could recognize. He knew which side of a blade the skater should use, the foot to take off on and land. He knew it all and he hated it. The Zamboni whirled around the ice, clearing the debris and training slices as Xander sat down, handing Spike a drink container. Thankful for some alcoholic refreshment to get past this memory, Spike sipped at it eagerly. “Ugg, what the fuck is this?”

“Coke,” Xander sat back and watched the Zamboni do its job. “Did you know that there is a thin layer of water sprayed across the ice to make it smooth again?”

“Where’s my beer, whelp?” Spike yelled. A bunch of people around them looked at Spike, scolding him with their eyes.

“No alcohol, kiddy show.” Xander indicated at all the little kids in the arena. “It’s not a hockey game.”

“Give me a bloody break, would you? Not only do I have to sit here freezing my rocks off and look at the bloody ice, but now I can’t even drink a bloody beer while doing it?” Spike threw his hands up in the air.

“Relax, Spike. If you want to get her back, you are going to have to pretend to enjoy this type of thing.” Xander sat back, watching the Zamboni leave the ice. He knew there was a chance that Buffy would be skating here. He remembered her talking about the entry fee and who else was going to perform, he just hoped that she really was going to be here. He didn’t want to have to spend the whole day with a grouchy Spike without something good coming from it. “Look, sit back and relax. These people know Buffy, they’ve known her for years.” Spike sat back in his chair. Buffy might not even be able to skate, she could be pregnant. He didn’t use any protection with her, and he doubted she used any. It was such a spur of the moment situation, Spike didn’t even think of the consequences. And, now she was gone and he couldn’t reach her.

“So have you whelp, and where has that gotten me?” Spike groused. It was too much to be in the cold arena again.

“I may be her friend, but these people…” Xander indicated at the skaters lining up to make an entrance. “These people share a passion with her. They understand her, the call of the ice. And if you don’t understand it, then you won’t understand her.”

Spike looked over at Xander, the lights dimmed as the last minute arrivals took their seats, the show was about to begin, “I did understand her.” Xander looked over at Spike, silently disagreeing, “I understood and she left.”

“Look, Spike, I don’t want to judge, really, but… what choice did you give her?” Spike looked over at his friend, wide eyed and amazed. Silently, Xander went back to watch the local little children skate.

~*~*~

Buffy stood back stage, she had already warmed up her muscles, and now she had to wait. The anticipation boiled up inside her, practically boiling over. Her long time coach came up beside her, thankful that she was still skating. “Nervous?”

“Like a race track horse about to piss in a cup.” Buffy laughed at the grimace her coach made.

“Colorful language you’ve acquired.” The coached nose scrunched up, not approving of the phrase.

“Ahn, I was just joking… I heard it on one of those late night talk shows. Yeah, I’m nervous girl.”

“You’ll be fine.” She patted Buffy on her shoulder.

“Yeah, how would you know, haven’t seen me skate since before my mom…” Buffy’s thought trailed off, “I could step out there and land on my butt.”

“Or you can step out there and be magnificent.”

“Thanks, Anya… you’re the greatest. I won’t even do the Bunny Hop for you.”

“Oh, bunnys… so twitchy… why would they name that?” She walked away from Buffy and then turned back. “Oh, I saw Xander, didn’t tell him you were here.”

“Thanks, was anyone else with him?”

“Not that I know of.” Anya stood at the door, watching the little kids finish their program.

“Thanks.” Buffy stretched once more, relaxing her muscles.

“Oh, Buffy?” When Buffy stood up and looked over to her coach she continued, “It’s good to have you back and happy. It’s been a long time since you’ve been this excited.” Buffy smiled, it had been a long time.

a/n: see how the reviews go? Faster updates... and the story is done and betad... I know I'm evil, but I am so good at it. Next update tomorrow morning ch 17 & 18 are Buffy's pov and Spike's POV respectively... so look for it tomorrow

 

 

Chapter 17


Breathe



In



Out


Steady



Buffy stepped out on the platform, watching her strongest competitor exit the ice. The crowd was still clapping, thoroughly enjoying her performance. Buffy wanted to puke. Not that Tara’s performance wasn’t good, it was too good. She floated through the air, and her elements were perfect. Buffy cringed; it had been almost a year since her last show. Other than the rink officials, no one had watched her skate but Spike. Trying to push down his memory, Buffy stretched, listening to Tara’s scores… almost perfect. There wasn’t much room for Buffy to take the lead. Buffy looked out in the black crowd, mentally scanning for Xander. Anya said he was here, she wondered why he would go to something like this, especially if she wasn’t dragging him here.



Her cue was handed to her, and she stepped out onto the dark ice. A hush fell across the room; she skated to the middle of the arena.



Breathe



In



Out



In



Out



The spotlight did a dramatic search for her on the ice, sweeping across the ice until it found her. Her head down with her hair loosely curled and arms above her head, Buffy hid her face from view. Only her green sequined little outfit was visible. Her feet were crossed, and then the music started to rumble in the speakers. Her hips twitched to the island inspired beat. She twisted, keeping her face hidden as the music started to crescendo…and she pushed off, slow turns and paces as she started. She heard whispers of recognition as the beat changed, increasing. Shoving off, she raced down to the end of the ice.



You think that we connect
That the chemistry's correct
Your words walk right through my ears
Presuming I like what I hear

And now I'm stuck in the web you're spinning
You've got me for your prey



Her first jump in the program came up. Buffy prepared her body, coiling it into a tight spring to take off and land a perfect double axle. The crowd went wild, Buffy smiled wide as she flew down to the other end of the ice. This was what she lived for. Her body relaxed, knowing this was home.



Sorry I'm not home right now
I'm walking into spider webs
So leave a message And I'll call you back
A likely story, but leave a message
And I'll call you back

She continued with combinations, increasing the level of difficulty as the crowd continued to cheer. Her energy increased, she continued to push hard, listening to the music and the cue hidden in the words. She knew she shouldn’t have picked that song, even if he was here, the meaning would have been lost on him… it was all his fault. She was perfectly fine in her little bubble world until he made her fall in love with him. Yes, it was all his fault.



You take advantage of what's mine
You're taking up my time
Don't have the courage inside me
To tell you please just let me be
Communication, telephonic invasion
I'm planning my escape...



Twists and turns that Buffy knew by heart blurred past her as she continued the program. Axles and salchows landed. Her body flew across the ice, racing for the finishing line.



Sorry I'm not home right now
I'm walking into spider webs
So leave a message And I'll call you back
A likely story, but leave a message
And I'll call you back



And it's all your fault
I screen my phone calls
No matter who calls
I gotta screen my phone calls



Breathe



In



Out



In



Out



Buffy felt a change on the ice. She wasn’t even sure if it was real, maybe it was her imagination. She was ready and she felt him. His eyes watching her. She was infused with warmth and encouragement. Not glancing at the audience, she continued the program. Her jumps seemed higher, the blade cutting through the ice smoother.


Now it's gone too deep
You wake me in my sleep
My dreams become nightmares
'Cause you're ringing in my ears.



Her smile bloomed, realizing the song was almost over, it seemed unreal. She really missed skating in front of people and the added encouragement she felt made the feeling so much stronger. The big finish was approaching and Buffy started to doubt herself again. Sure she could do it perfectly in practice, but that didn’t guarantee it now.



Sorry I'm not home right now
I'm walking into spider webs
So leave a message And I'll call you back
A likely story, but leave a message
And I'll call you back



Sweeping her legs across the ice, she built the speed necessary to get her though the last of it. Her body jumped up, tightly revolving. Once. Twice. Three times. Gravity working against her, Buffy landed and immediately took off again, hopping up and spinning quickly.



And it's all your fault
I screen my phone calls
No matter who calls
I gotta screen my phone calls



The song faded away, ending the lyrics and Buffy stood there, proud and ecstatic. Her arms stretched out above her head, framing her svelte body. She bowed down, knowing she did a good job. Her skates glided across the frozen canvas and made the way to the edge of the rink. Anya handed her the blade protectors and a huge hug. Smiling, Buffy let the excited blond guide her to the booth where scores were called. Buffy felt overwhelmed. Knowing that by tomorrow everyone that she knew would know that she was back.



Breathe



In



Out



In



Out



A/n: Lyrics from No Doubt: Spiderwebs… I found them online.

 

 

 

Chapter 18
Spike made his way down to the bleachers as the lighting increased. A skater was leaving the ice, finished with her program. Her dark blond hair and multi colored skirt floated behind her. She reminded Spike of a witch. He found Xander easily. “What did I miss?” Spike sarcastically asked.



“Oh, Tara McClay, good skater, very graceful. Was Buffy’s biggest competition.”



“Really? Now I wish I didn’t have to drain the lizard.”



“Ug, and Buffy let you kiss her with that mouth?” Xander shook his head as the lights dimmed again. He saw a small figure work its way out into the darkened arena. The sparkles on her leotard glinted, reflecting some light, the only visible part of the next skater. The spot light swept along the ice, faux searching for the skater. Finding her, the brilliant forest green outfit and setting everyone eyes ablaze with the flittering light. Her blond hair curled around her shoulders and hung in front of her down turned face, blocking the view. Her graceful arms were swept above her head. The almost Caribbean beat started through the speakers and the skater started to move her hips. She shimmed, letting her hips dip down. As the lyrics joined the melody, her body floated off of her starting position. Recognition filtered off of Xander’s face, it was Buffy. Spike was too busy trying to find his drink to even notice the look in Xander’s face or the petite skater on the ice.



You think that we connect
That the chemistry's correct
Your words walk right through my ears
Presuming I like what I hear

And now I'm stuck in the web you're spinning
You've got me for your prey



Xander stared at his friend flying across the ice, faster than he’d ever saw her skate. He saw her muscles tighten, ready to jump. A loud roar erupted form the audience when she landed. Smiling, she started her journey back to the other side of the rink.



Sorry I'm not home right now
I'm walking into spider webs
So leave a message And I'll call you back
A likely story, but leave a message
And I'll call you back



Spike looked up, only to see the back of the person in front of him. He was getting up to take his unruly child out of the arena. Sighing, he continued to look for his refreshments. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the skater jump and extend herself on the ice, but paid her no heed.



You take advantage of what's mine
You're taking up my time
Don't have the courage inside me
To tell you please just let me be
Communication, telephonic invasion
I'm planning my escape...



He found his drink, finally. Spike took a sip and sat back. He looked at Xander, who was totally enthralled watching the skater. Shrugging, he looked around, everyone was watching the graceful athlete. Little children with looks of awe studied the rink, watching the glittering woman lap it again.



Sorry I'm not home right now
I'm walking into spider webs
So leave a message And I'll call you back
A likely story, but leave a message
And I'll call you back



And it's all your fault
I screen my phone calls
No matter who calls
I gotta screen my phone calls



Spike finally forced his eyes on the ice, shocked to find the face that haunted him. There she was with a huge smile on her face, flying on the cold floor. Her legs twisted and turned through the elements, gracefully completing the fancy footwork.



Now it's gone too deep
You wake me in my sleep
My dreams become nightmares
'Cause you're ringing in my ears.



She was a vision, an angel flying down to save him. He watched her body relax, become one with the ice. She turned in his direction, and her smile widened. It looked so natural… so beautiful.



Sorry I'm not home right now
I'm walking into spider webs
So leave a message And I'll call you back
A likely story, but leave a message
And I'll call you back



Spiraling around the ice, she continued to push harder, jump higher, skate faster. His own eyes traveling over her luscious body even more trimmed and toned than before. Wherever she was, she had a gym and an ice rink to practice in.



And it's all your fault
I screen my phone calls
No matter who calls
I gotta screen my phone calls



Spike didn’t bother listening to the song, the lyrics lost on him as she finished the program. Her final combination made the people in the arena jump to their feet. She really did a wonderful job. Her movements stopped and she smiled up to the bleachers. Her smile firm on her face as she bowed and left the ice, only to encounter her coach. Spike didn’t like Anya, she wouldn’t tell him where Buffy went, even when she admitted she had been in contact with her. Jumping up, not bothering to talk to Xander, Spike ran down the bleachers, hoping to get backstage to see her, to talk to her. Spike quickly got past the guard to the entrance and slipped behind the scenes. Different skaters were milling around, listening to music and envisioning their routine. He jumped up above the small crowd, hoping to get a glimpse of her location. Out of the side of his eye, Spike saw Anya following someone in a green outfit into a dressing room about thirty feet away. Spike quickly walked over to the dressing room, only to be stopped by a large man. “Only ladies, sir.”



Spike looked up toward the heavens, “Bloody hell.”

 

Chapter 19
Spike stood outside the door for “Ladies Only” for over half an hour and hadn’t yet gotten a glimpse of her. The competition was over and the public was finally allowed down on the floor. Xander walked over, “Talk to her yet?”

“Not bloody likely with Bubba over here guarding the bloody door.” Spike pointed at the large guard.

“She in there?” Xander indicated the door behind Spike.

“No, she’s in the men’s room. What do you think, Whelp. I just stand here all fucking day for the hell of it? The bloody chit hasn’t come out yet.”

“Hey, man, relax. It’s just that Anya is over there. Maybe she can get Buffy out.” Spike stood straight and looked over at Anya with his eyebrow arched.

“Wait, she didn’t come out of this door. In fact… barely anyone has.” As they looked at Anya, a door about fifteen feet away opened up, letting some ladies out of the room. “Oh Balls! There was another bloody door?” Spike looked over at the guard and he shrugged. Stalking over to the congregating group, Spike fumed. He’d been standing there like a nancy boy all the while, Buffy probably escaped through the other door.

“Anya…” Xander said.

She turned around and smiled, “Xander Harris, where have you been hiding yourself?” Spike walked up beside them, scanning the crowd for his pixie. “Spike, I didn’t know you liked these kinds of shows.”

“Uh, yeah.” Spike stood on his toes, hoping to gain enough height to spot Buffy.

“So Xander, you’re looking good, who have you been giving orgasms to?” Anya innocently batted her eyes while Xander sputtered a response of nobody.

“Anya, my boy here, Spike, is looking for Buffy.”

A dark scowl formed on Anya’s face, “I don’t think that is a very good idea. She doesn’t want any orgasms from you friend.” She looked over at Spike, “I’m sure your orgasms are nice, but she isn’t interested.” Anya turned back to Xander, “Did you know she won today?”

The conversation ended abruptly when the competition officials started to hand out the trophies. They listened as the younger skaters that were in the “junior” category, received their prizes and acknowledgements. Finally, the awards for the adult competition were announced. With bated breathe, Spike, Xander, and Anya watched the third place and second place winner graciously accept their trophies and money. Finally, Buffy walked up in a light green jogging suit and her hair pulled back loosely, accepting her award. She smiled enthusiastically at the presenters and waved at the crowd that cheered her on. In one split second, she met Spike’s eyes. Her breath faltered and smile dimmed when he saw recognition in her face. Then, she broke the contact and scanned the rest of the crowd. Spike started to push his way through the crowd, intent on getting to the mock stage area before Buffy finished accepting her award and shaking hands. The skaters from the “junior” portion of the competition surrounded her, giving an impenetrable shield ten feet around her. She turned away from him, walking to a room on the side, with the children following. With a flip of her hair, she once again disappeared into a room he was banned from.

Swearing, Spike received many poignant glares from parents and “junior” contestants. The bodyguard, nicknamed appropriately was standing in front of the door again. With one last glare at the bane of his existence, Spike stalked off in search of Xander, hopefully still talking with Anya. He looked around the small backstage area. Most of the parents were escorting their children out of the building, leaving only family and friends of the adult participants left. He found a seat and sat down. Xander and Anya were no where to be found. He watched the twin doors of the room she herded herself in. The skaters now exited with their belongings. Most carried duffle bags larger than themselves. He sat back, itching for a cigarette, but not daring to leave.

Xander strolled up, sans Anya, and sat next to Spike. “Did you get to her?”

Spike looked down at his feet, frustrated, “No, she’s playing hard to get. Damn bitch.”

“Hey, hey. Don’t talk about her that way, man. Especially if you want her back… Anya told me that she’s going to be in town for a while.” Spike looked hopeful at Xander. “She probably going to be pissed to find you still living at her place.”

“Yeah, well. Probably an inch of dust in my old place… not going to clean it, now am I?”

Xander chuckled and slapped Spike’s shoulder, “Yeah, I shudder at the thought of some dust. Anyway, she said that Buffy and some girls from the competition were going down to O’Malleys… she invited me… and you.”

 

Chapter 20
O’Malleys was packed with people from the skating competition. Spike scanned the crowd, finally spotting Anya’s outrageous hair. Xander followed Spike, heading to the table in the back. He heard her laughter first, it was sweet and unrestricted. As he came up on the group, he watched her swat a man on his shoulder, laughing with him. Jealousy roared in Spike, his inner demon coming forth, ready to claim what was his.



She looked up at him as he approached, his gait clear and concise, leaving her no doubt that he was coming for her. Her back straightened, chin lifted, and fingers threaded together on top of the table. She flipped her hair back and smiled, “William, Xander! It’s been a long time.”



A million questions formed in Spike’s mind. How have you been? Where were you? Why did you leave me? Xander scratched his head when Spike fell silent, just staring at her. “Yeah, Buffy. Been a while.”



“Yeah, oh. This is the gang… Kathy,” a bubble blond waved, “Anya you know,” Anya nodded their way, still glaring at Spike, “Tara,” the same dark blond that skated before Buffy smiled shyly, “And this is Andrew.” She leaned into Andrew, making Spike’s jaw ache. The blonde pip squeak looked like he couldn’t handle one beer.



Andrew stood up and practically knocked the table over. “Hey good to meet you too. Always good to have another male around. You know… hanging with all the ladies,” Andrew smirked, trying to look like a ladies man. Suddenly he got an excited look on his face and started to bounce on the balls of his feet. “Hey, your duster looks like the one on my Neo action figure. I bought it on Ebay. I also got this Jedi figure… it’s so cool…Boba Fett… the bounty hunter.”



Spike smiled knowingly, “Yeah, why don’t you write that address down.”



“Hey, you’re English right?” Andrew looked at Spike, wondering if he could be cool like him.



“Yeah,” Spike drawled, his eyes riveted at Buffy who was holding her head in the hands, shaking it slowly, knowing her game was over the minute Andrew opened his mouth.



“I’ve seen all the episodes of Doctor Who… not the Red Dwarf, though, because…” Spike stared at Andrew, amazed that this person kept talking. “It’s not on DVD yet.”



“Uh huh, that’s… uh… admirable. Buffy? Can we talk?” Buffy looked up from her hands. Her green eyes surprised that he finally talked to her.



“Uh, yeah…” Buffy stood up. Spike walked around the table to hold out her chair. She glared at him, wondering why he was acting like a gentleman. Then it dawned on her, he was waiting to get her alone. “Bar?” Spike nodded and followed Buffy to the bar. She found two stools in the middle of the bar, people milling around talking and watching the televisions. She looked over at him. His eyes didn’t hold the electric charge they once had. Dark bags under his eyes marred his face, making him seem paler than he was. His cheekbones seemed to jut out further; he didn’t look like he was eating properly. “So…”



“Yeah. Hey, give me a beer, mate.” Spike grabbed the bartender’s attention and gulped his beer. “Look… you didn’t have to…” Spike looked into Buffy’s eyes, lost in their glittering depths. The war between them still raging, he inhaled, hoping to calm down. “You didn’t have to leave…”



“Were you?” Buffy sat, looking straight at him. She knew she had to get through this, afterwards she could break down, alone, where no one could hear her cries of pain and anguish of her love.



“Huh?” Spike sipped his beer at a more leisure pace. His fingers itched to touch her, to hold her, to mold her.



“Were you going to leave?” Buffy didn’t let her gaze stray as she saw his emotions flitter across his face: surprise, anger, guilt, and longing. “Because, it looked like you still were there.”



Shock hit Spike, “You… you were there?”



Buffy ducked her head, “Yeah, had to store my stuff. Drove all night to get here…” Buffy looked back up, her eyes softened, “You never left.”



“No,” such a simple word yet it spoke volumes.



Her eyes glistened with restrained emotion. “Why?”



Spike stared back, once again lost in her. Her scent, her warmth, her eyes. “Never going to leave you.” His hand reached out to hers on its own volition. “Not like the others.”



She didn’t pull away from him instead she savored the warmth seeping into her skin. She stared at their joined hands.



“I… I never meant for it to go that way.” His thumb caressed the top of her hand, feeling the blood pump underneath the light layer of her skin. “Wasn’t supposed to be bad.”



Buffy looked up into his eyes.



“I was going to treat you like the goddess that you are. My golden goddess.” Buffy opened her mouth to say something but he lifted his other hand and rested a finger on her lips. “Shh, got to get this out… I wanted you from the first moment I saw you, glaring at Hank on the dance floor. Knew, I knew it was more than lust.”



Spike looked at the bar, still resting his hand on hers. She slowly moved her wrist, rotating her hand under his until her palm met his. She threaded her fingers in his. Inhaling, he looked at their intertwined hands.



“I tried everything to get you to see me. Sure you went out with me once, but you were ready to cut me loose, I knew it. Then… the lame brain scheme with Hank. I wasn’t going to tell Joyce. I would have handled him quietly, no one would have known. But, I couldn’t let you know that or you would have banished me, yeah?”



Buffy nodded. A tear ran down her cheek, he reached up and wiped it away.



“And, that night. I’m sorry.” Spike choked, his emotions finally surfacing. “God, it would be so easy for me to say I didn’t know what I was doing, but I did.” A bitter laugh escaped his lips. “I wanted to possess you, show you who you belonged to… but you didn’t belong to me, did you pet? I belong to you. I have from the very first dance.”



Buffy tilted her head, she heard the sincerity in his voice and her heart went out to him. Spike moved closer to her, resting his head against her shoulder.



“You consume me, fill me up to completion. I was so bloody scared when you were attacked. What if something happened to you? What if I did that to you? I couldn’t handle it.”



She withdrew her hand from under his. Trembling, Spike was afraid that she was leaving him again.



“Don’t. Please don’t,” he whispered.



She wrapped her arms around his body, angling her body to his and brining his head to her neck. She patted his back, consoling him through his emotions.



“I decided, I wouldn’t touch you like that again…” his words tickled the sensitive skin on her neck. “But, I couldn’t bloody do it. I had to hold you, love you, and show you that I wanted more. I love you.” She felt hot tears drip down to her collarbone, washing over her skin. “I still do… bloody hell, look at me, crying like a nancy boy in the middle of a bloody pub.”



“Don’t say that… no one is paying attention.” Her fingers ran down his back, smoothing his duster. “And… and I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have run. I just couldn’t handle it.” She looked around the busy bar and restaurant and bent her head towards his. With a low voice she asked, “Want to get out of here?”



His eyes lit up and she saw the flicker of electricity they were missing. They walked out of the bar hand in hand into the night.

a/n: One more chapter, y'all

 

 

Chapter 21
Spike sat on the couch, looking at the new painting over the mantle… a gray whale sticking its grotesque head out of the water. He shook his head, only Buffy would find art in that. He listened for the noise of her coming home, to him, but only silence greeted him. He took another sip of his whiskey; the fire burned his throat, making him feel something.

Last night was like an epiphany that never was realized. They ended up sitting on a park bench in the middle of the elementary school playground. They sat quietly, not quite knowing how to fix the riff between them, but knowing the other person was ready and willing. They just weren’t able. They didn’t talk about her absence or the deal. She talked about the weather and he updated her on the different business deals he was working on. When dawn approached, he asked her back to the apartment, but she refused. She wasn’t ready for that. He watched her drive off in her car as light broke over the horizon, leaving him to go home to the apartment, now filed with Buffy’s belongings.

He walked into the living room and saw the huge canvas filled with the whale breaking the surface of the water, staring at him with his one big eye. He moved around the apartment and saw that she dumped the rest of her belongings in the spare bedroom. He noticed she hadn’t collected much. She had three suitcases and her art supplies. Venturing into the room, he saw familiar and new paintings. Spike didn’t sleep in the bed, too many memories, especially now that she was back. So there he was on the couch, drinking his whiskey as the sun peaked in the sky and the whale following his every move. It felt like the whale was looking through him and knew every little secret and nuance Spike hid. Rubbing the palm of his hand over his eyes, Spike put his drink down and closed his eyes. Rest would be good.

~*~*~
Buffy knocked quietly, not really sure why she was knocking on her own apartment door. She was the one that paid the rent all these months, it was hers, right? Losing her confidence, Buffy stepped away from the door, ready to walk back down the stairs and out to her car when the door flew open. A shirtless Spike leaned against the jam with one arm above his head. His hair was ruffled and his eyes looked dark and sleepy as he peered out into the hallway to see who bothered him. When his eyes fell on her she saw him change. He immediately stood straighter and tried to tame his wild hair with his fingers. Without words, Spike moved to let Buffy into the apartment.

Standing in the living room, she looked around. Yesterday, she was not really surprised to find him still living here, but she was amazed that he had not changed anything about the décor. Most of it was still hers. She turned back to face Spike only to find him looking at her like she was a steak and he was a starving man. With a shy smile she sat on the couch, looking at the whale painting. “Hey you moved it!”

“Yeah,” Spike scratched his eyebrow with his thumb as he made his way over to the chair. “he was staring at me.” The painting was leaning against the wall with the back of the canvas showing.

Buffy laughed, genuine laughter directed at him. “I think he can see into my soul.”

“Bloody hard to get any sleep when he’s staring holes through you,” Spike shook his head. Buffy looked around and saw his pillow and a blanket on the couch.

“You slept out here, why?”

“Couldn’t sleep in there,” he pointed at the bedroom, “when I know you were near… it’s ours.”

“Oh.” The couple fell silent, still not knowing where to go. Were they together again? Stepping into the apartment, Buffy wanted to throw herself at Spike and feel him again. His kisses, his touch, his voice vibrating through her.

“I don’t know what to say… what I need to say… what you need to hear.” A tear formed in Spike’s eye. “What ever it is, I would say it and mean it… please, tell me what I need to do, say, be…” he dropped down on one knee and crawled over to her, kneeling a few inches from her. “I’ve been in hell these past months not knowing, not understanding… not with you.” His hands were shaking when they came up and rested on hers. “I’ve missed you… not just in the bed, but everywhere. I miss your company, your friendship. I just want to start over, can we do that?”

“I don’t think we can.” Buffy whispered, moving her hands so their palms were together.

“Can we try?” Spike looked in Buffy’s eyes, glistening with moisture. She smiled and nodded.
~*~*~
The day was spent in quite amazement. They touched and cuddled on the couch. Talking softly as if they were revealing the most precious secrets of the world. “Where were you, pet?”

She looked up at him, “Huh? Oh, Bodega Bay.”

“Oh, was it nice?” Spike tightened his grip on her.

“Mmm, very nice. But colder. Want to see some pictures?” Spike nodded numbly, he was overcome with need to know where she was. She got up and held her hand out to him. Taking it, he was lead into the spare room, filled with her belongings. Buffy showed Spike some of the paintings she created over her absence: the beach that she lived on, the harbor, the valleys of spring flowers blooming, and her Uncle Rupert’s house.

“Looks like a lovely area, pet.” His hands rested on her hips while they stood back and looked at the paintings.

“Oh, it was… so peaceful.” Her wistful tone cut at Spike, deeply cut.

Letting her go, he turned and walked out of the room, “Guess that’s why you cut yourself off from everyone.”

Buffy followed after she heard his hurt tone, “What? What’s wrong, William?”

“Nothing, everything is bloody perfect. You had a perfect house on a perfect beach near a perfect bay. Your life was bloody perfect!” Spike’s voice rose with every word.

“What? William?” Spike stalked over to his whiskey, pouring a half of a glass and swallowed it quickly. “What’s gotten into you?”

“What’s gotten into me? Come on, love, what do you expect from me? A happy dance? You left me.” Spike pointed at his chest. His lips twitched into a self-deprecating smile, “I loved you and you left me.” His lips jutted out in a pout with his declaration and pout, Buffy’s heart melted. “You were…” he waved his hand towards the paintings in the spare room, “there, and I was here. No one would tell me anything.” She saw him fight the tears in his eyes. “Bloody uncle of yours returned all my letters.”

His jaw twitched and Buffy was afraid he would break the glass he was holding, “Calm down William… no one knew, at least…” she stopped and inhaled, “not many. The ones that did know, well… they stayed quiet because I didn’t want to be found.”

Spike collapsed on his knees, staring at Buffy, “Was it so awful? Was I that awful?”

Buffy quickly walked over and knelt in front of him, “Oh no, William. Don’t think that.” He hand came up and cupped his jaw. His tears ran openly down his face. “I needed time. I was so confused.” She felt her tears run down her own face. “I… I didn’t know how I felt, I was so confused.”

Spike looked up into her wet eyes, “What do you feel?”

“I… uh… I… William, I was so confused.”

“Are you still confused?”

“I… uh… William…” Buffy looked into his eyes, knowing he knew her secret.

“Are you still confused?” His voice dipped low, caressing her with words.

“No,” Buffy took one deep breath. “I love you.”

Hope bloomed in Spike when he finally heard her words, “Really? You mean that?” Buffy nodded as Spike grabbed her and hauled her closer. His arms banded tightly around her and he let the tears and insecurities wash out of him. “I’m so sorry, pet. I just wanted you, needed you, loved you so bloody much.”

Buffy smiled through her tears and labored breathing. “I love you too, William.”

Buffy clung to Spike and Spike clung to Buffy as their emotions finally made it to the surface, refusing to be pushed down. Spike moved his head back to look at her. With tear tracks down her face and makeup smeared, she couldn’t be any more beautiful. They melted together: lips, arms, torso, legs. It didn’t matter. The were together, they were one, they were perfect.

The END

a/n: so that's it. The story in a half shell. Hope you enjoyed reading it. I enjoyed writing it. If you enjoyed my work, please let me know either though the review button or email me. Visit my website, I have a story banner and other ficitions you might like. You can join my yahoo update list to get faster updates.

I'd like to thank Char and Dusty for their beta & review jobs. It made the story all that much more. You are terrific ladies! Thank you.

 

 

Epilogue

16 months later…

Spike sat behind his desk, diligently working. Proud that the company did a total turn around in the past couple years. The stockholders were happy, the employees ecstatic, and most of all Spike was happy. The silver band on his left finger glinting in the fading daylight brought his thoughts from work. Running a hand through his bleached hair, Spike smiled to himself. This life, his life, was wonderful and couldn’t get any better. He looked at the picture on his desk and smiled. It was their three-month anniversary today and he wanted to go home.

Gathering up the paperwork to bring it home, he closed his black leather briefcase, a Christmas gift from Buffy. Spike walked past his secretary and out to his car. Oh life was good! The sun was out, birds sang their melody, and he was going to see his wife. Spike drove through the streets easily and headed to the gallery. He stopped on the way to pick up a dozen blood red roses for Buffy. He hopped out of the car and headed into the gallery. Dawn glanced up when he entered the front of the store. She had graduated college and stayed on to help Buffy with the business management side of it. Grateful that she freed Buffy up for more important things like him, Spike always had a smile for the kid. “Hey, Spike. She went home early.” Dawn said quickly, avoiding eye contact.

“Is she alright?” Spike set the roses down and looked at her.

“Um, yeah. All right. Just a little woozy.” Dawn turned around, and started to shuffle papers.

“Dawn?” Spike growled her name.

Dawn sighed, she hoped he wouldn’t come into the store today she hated lying. “She’s fine Spike.” Spike eyed the girl warily and picked the roses back up. He walked out without saying goodbye, his thoughts directed totally on Buffy. The past week she had been whiney and picky. Nothing he did seemed to please her. Spike wondered if she came down with a flu or a cold.

Driving up to their house, Spike’s wedding present to Buffy, he cut the engine off. The house, a two story three bedroom colonial sat on a quiet cul-de-sac. Buffy parleyed the enclosed sunroom as her new studio. Her argument was that it was best to paint in natural light. She gave him the basement, allowing him to decorate it as his. Black paint, a brand-new stereo system, built in speakers, wide screen T.V., wet bar, and a leather couch transformed it into what Buffy lovingly nicknamed ‘The Crypt.’ Spike let Buffy make all the rest of the design choices in the house. She always asked his opinion, but Spike insisted she had better taste and if the design didn’t include flowers, he would be all right.

He quickly walked through the garage and into the house. The kitchen was dark, as the rest of the first floor. Stepping up to the second floor, Spike spied a light on their empty spare bedroom. They hadn’t gotten to decorate it yet. Spike walked into the room, surprised to see Buffy laying on the floor with her hands behind her head. Her legs swayed a bit as she hummed a childhood song. “Buffy?” She jumped a bit when he spoke, she didn’t hear him run through the house. She greeted him with a bright smile and patted the carpet next to her. Her engagement and wedding ring glinted in the light. Spike came in and sat down next to her. Grinning, he swooped down to capture her lips. “What are you doing in here, petal?”

Buffy smiled again and looked around, “What do you think? Green walls?”

“To match your eyes?” Spike teased and lay down on his side, facing her. His head propped up on one hand, allowing his other to play with her hair.

“Hmm, no, not to match my eyes.” She looked shyly over at Spike. His face was alight with curiosity. He bent down to nuzzle her cheek. “I was thinking green is pretty neutral and cheery.”

Confused, Spike propped his head up again, “I thought we decided to keep the rooms white until we figure out what to do with them.”

“Well, I know what we are doing with this one.” Buffy smiled and laid her hands on her stomach, watching Spike.

“Another studio? Pet, don’t you think two is enough?” Spike teased Buffy.

“No, not another studio. I thought you loved my paintings?”

“I do, love. So not another studio. What then?”

“A bedroom.” Buffy looked at the ceiling, suppressing her smile. Sometimes he was so dense.

“Another bedroom? He already have ours and the guest room. We don’t need another bedroom.” Spike pouted.

“Yes we do.” Buffy took her hand and reach for his. She brought his palm to her stomach and let it rest. “Or, to be exact in eight months we will.”

Spike’s eyes widened in comprehension, “Do you mean? Are you?”

“Pregnant? Yes, I am.” Spike moved so fast, Buffy didn’t even see him. He covered her face in kisses and his hands explored her stomach. Every inch of her was covered by the time Spike came up for air, both panting with want and need.

“Oh my god, am I hurting you?” Spike slid off of Buffy quickly, afraid he had done something.

“No, it’s ok. I’m ok.” Buffy rolled on top of Spike, straddling his hips. “I’m more than ok.”

Spike grinned up at her with his hands on her hips. She looked radiant. Her golden hair tousled from his fingers, lips swollen from his kisses, and eyes dreaming of their child. Naked desire flared in his eyes. Buffy say the moment when the mood changed. His hands stilled and his pupils dilated. Smiling as sweetly as she could, Buffy swiveled her hips on his, grinding her groin into his growing erection. Spike whispered, “Guess we’re going to have to celebrate.”

“I supposed we have to.” Buffy smiled and started to unbutton Spike’s shirt. His tie already gone, she displayed his chest. “Mmm, celebrate it real nice.”

Buffy squealed as Spike rolled them on the floor, switching positions. “No alcohol for you, so what does that leave us? Seems to me, Mrs. Winthrop, someone is a little over dressed.” Spike quickly divested Buffy of her clothes, leaving his panting and writhing on the carpet below him. He shucked out of his pants and boxers rapidly

Lying down, Spike watched Buffy. Her skin glittered with perspiration, and eyes watching him watch her. Everyday, he fell more in love with her. Her strength, her energy, her enthusiasm. Buffy, knowing he had slipped into his poetic and reflective thought reached out and grasped his cock. Squeezing it lightly, she ran her thumb around the tip. “Think someone wants to join the celebration.”

Groaning, Spike touched her breast reverently. “It’s hard to believe that there’s someone growing inside you.” Spike’s lips touched hers. Breaking away, he continued, “In a few months these will be ripe and full with milk.” His head bent and he sucked her nipple into his mouth. “Mmm, delicious.” Spike moved his head to her other nipple, laving it with the same treatment the other on received. He inhaled her sweet scent. Such power and grace, the best part was it was his. Buffy wrapped her legs around Spike when he moved over her. Wanting and needing to feel him slide into her. Feeling his thrusts. Spike moaned when Buffy positioned him right at her entrance, not leaving her intent a mystery. Sliding over her, he captured her mouth, sucking on her bottom lip. Simultaneously, he sunk down, penetrating her. Twin sighs of relief echoed through the empty room.

Moving gently, Spike’s eyes watched Buffy’s. Blue and green collided, speaking to each other. Buffy’s hips moved, meeting Spike’s. The energy swirled around them, creating a cocoon of love. Spike shifted, allowing deeper penetration, hitting Buffy’s g-spot just right. Her eyes widened as the pleasure overwhelmed her. She felt her muscles start to contract, free from her mind, the fluttered around Spike. Feeling the exquisite contraction of her muscles, Spike fell over the precipice, too, spilling his seed into her womb. Rolling over, Spike brought Buffy up on his chest to rest.

Oh, yes, his life just got better.