Blue Horizons
Chapter Forty-Three

“G’way.” Spike had been in a somewhat sour mood all day, and the last thing he needed right now was to have to deal with whoever was banging on his door. Chances are he would do something to make a complete git of himself, and he’d have to deal with the implications for weeks to come.

The door opened, nonetheless, and Spike let out a weary sigh. Unfortunately, the list of people stubborn enough not to listen to him started up one side of Westing Hall and went right back down the other, with only the exception of Jonathan’s room.

“Spike?” He cringed. OK, worst possible scenario. His life was difficult enough right now without having to play any more of her confusing mind games.

“G’way,” he repeated.

Elizabeth sighed and approached where he was lying on his bed, his back turned towards her. “Would you like to scream and rant at me?” she offered hopefully.

“Want you to go away,” he sulked, shutting his eyes tight and hoping that would close her out.

She wasn’t one to be put out that easily, though. He felt the bedspring creak slightly as she sat on the edge. He waited for a long time for her to say something. If it weren’t for the dip in the mattress, he would almost have sworn she wasn’t there. He’d never known her to just be silent like this before.

Eventually, it wore him down. “What d’you want?” he asked wearily.

He heard the sounds of her shoes thumping onto the ground as she kicked them off, and then she slid up the bed so that she sat behind him.

“’S my bed,” he felt obliged to point out. “Don’t recall invitin’ you back in it.”

“You’re mad at me,” she commented softly.

“Took you that long to figure that out, did it?” he retorted snidely.

She sighed and leaned back against the wall at the head of the bed. Despite his token protest, he really didn’t seem to mind her presence here. “Do you ever wonder?” she began.

He frowned, still facing the wall, refusing to look at her. “’Bout what?” His curiosity finally got the better of him.

“Sometimes everything just seems so doomed,” she answered indirectly. “I think about getting through college, and that seems so impossible. I mean, Faith lost it completely. And then I think that could have been me. Why wasn’t it me? Is it going to be me next?”

“In a morbid mood, are we?” he countered sarcastically.

“Maybe a bit,” she conceded before going on. “And then there’s Oz. He was fine with the whole school thing. He had a job, and all this stuff he was really into. He always seemed really cool and in control, like he knew who he was and where he was going in life. And then this ridiculous, random thing comes out of nowhere and just completely screws everything up for him. It’s like even if you make it in school, there’s always this element of chance that can just take everything from you.”

“Yeah?” He was sounding seriously impatient now.

“And that’s just in the daily stuff,” she began to explain. “It’s even worse when you get involved in a relationship. I mean, both of us circled through a series of spectacular failures before we got together. And I think the jury’s kinda still out on whether we worked, too. Faith and Devon drifted apart frighteningly fast. Xander and Anya had all those issues with Cordy, and, yeah, they’re together now, but who knows how long it will be before it’s something else? And I just found out today that Willow and Tara are going to graduate schools on opposite coasts. I’d, y’know, wondered why Tara hadn’t been around so much recently, and it turns out she and Willow are sort of adjusting to the idea of distance between them and realizing that maybe their lives aren’t going to let them be together, after all.”

“Din’t know about that,” he commented, his mind turning to sympathetic thoughts for the pair that had seemed so happy.

“And they didn’t even really have any real problems,” Elizabeth agreed. “They just… I mean, college life is great, but eventually we all go somewhere after it, and that can completely change who we are and it splits people up. It’s just this step in life. Which is probably why so few college relationships really last, y’know? I mean, I guess the chances get better the older you get that the people you meet will fit into your life in a more permanent way.”

He sighed. “Get to the point, Summers.”

“The point is that it’s all terrifying. I think about us and where we’ll be three years down the road, and… I mean, honestly, what are the chances that we’re meant to be? You’re the first real serious boyfriend I’ve had, and I’m what? Number two for you? And we’ve been apart for a whole month now. How many successful relationships can you think of where there was a break-up this serious in the middle?”

“You’re dumping me again, aren’t you?” he grumbled sullenly.

“No,” she hastily amended, her hand coming to rest on his back.

Subconsciously, his body relaxed at her touch, even though his mind was screaming at him to just make the pain stop now. His heart had been particularly uncooperative in the matter, however.

Slowly, her index finger began to trace the line of his spine through the fabric of his black tee. She felt all the little bumps of his vertebrae with something akin to awe, remembering what it had felt like to be able to touch this man whenever she wanted.

“This OK?” she inquired softly of her caress.

He didn’t respond.

She took that as a sign that he was about as conflicted as she was and halted her motions, although she continued to rest her hand on his back. “I’m not dumping you again,” she continued seriously. “I just… I’m so frightened, Spike. I want us to be the real thing, but then I think about the overwhelming odds against us, and… Well, it’s daunting to say the least.”

“We’re not a statistic,” he insisted, showing more animation than he had since she’d come in.

She let out a short bark of laughter at that. “It took me forever to figure that out,” she responded to the increased tension in his back. “This little voice in the back of my mind was yelling at me all along to talk to you about this because it’d be just like you to solve the problem in ten seconds, but I ignored it. And, now, lookee! Spike solves the problem in ten seconds.”

He relaxed and leaned a bit into her touch.

“So, yeah,” she went on, “I eventually kinda figured out that what happens to other people doesn’t really matter. After all, it all comes down to just us in the end. What can we do so that we don’t turn into one of the statistics? I mean, we can’t just start over at the beginning. We’re way beyond that. Too much has happened - both of the good and of the bad - to just go back to the blissfully innocent stage. And sometimes I wonder about what would happen if we just fell back into each other’s arms. Would it feel false and bitter? If so, there’s got to be something we can do to avert that. Because I don’t want you to feel like I’m just returning to you as an apology, and I don’t want it to feel to me like I’m taking advantage of the fact that you love me to slip back into your arms.”

He turned to look at her for the first time, then, rolling over onto his back. “You’ve gotten better at this,” he commented in a neutral tone. “Seems only yesterday I was the one that had to reassure you ‘bout everything.”

“Yeah, well, sometimes it takes time to figure things out,” she agreed softly. “It’s part of the whole change thing that had me so deathly afraid that we were going to fall apart.”

“We haven’t?” he countered skeptically.

“You know, that actually occurred to me,” she agreed. “When I called things off between us, I had this notion that I was juggling too many balls.”

A snicker escaped his lips reflexively.

She scowled at him. “Yes, I do know that I’ve picked another unfortunate sexual metaphor. Just try to ignore my comments about handling your balls and listen to the point, OK?”

He managed to nod solemnly, but there was still a light of amusement dancing it his eyes.

“So, yeah, there were the school balls, and then the dad balls - don’t you dare say something nasty!”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he assured her with mock-innocence.

“And then all the disasters in my friends’ lives balls, and the money one, and the major one, and now I’ve got scholarship balls and loan balls and even a job ball. Hopefully.”

He raised an eyebrow at that.

“An interview I hope went right,” she informed him. “So, anyway, there were just all these balls, and I thought it would be easier if I just dropped the boyfriend one for a little while and then I maybe I would be able to pick it up later. But then I realized that I hadn’t dropped the Spike ball at all, because even though I decided I had to think about all this other stuff, in every spare moment I had you would be there - or not there, and I…” She sighed. “Everything feels so complicated,” she said wearily.

“’S usually because it is,” he pointed out.

The hand that had been on his back reached out to brush his arm. “This doesn’t feel complicated,” she commented softly. “It feels like what I’ve been waiting for…”

He covered her hand with his own, and the two of them watched their united hands with something akin to fascination for a while, both thumbs brushing over the other’s flesh.

“Is this why you came after me?” he finally asked, breaking the silence.

“I’ve been thinking a lot lately,” she answered indirectly. “By Monday, I’ll - hopefully - be working. After that, I’ve got to give my dad the unpleasant call. I’ve got some scholarship application forms to turn in. If those don’t come through, then I’ve got work-study applications.”

“Sounds like a lot,” he commented with a sigh.

“Yeah,” she agreed. “I mean, it will take up a lot of time. I don’t think I’ll be able to do the happy get-out-of-class-and-snuggle-all-day-‘til-dinner thing anytime soon.”

“Wait, you’re snugglin’ with who now?” he asked suspiciously.

She raised an eyebrow at looked pointedly at their linked hands and where their bodies brushed lightly. “Unless my snuggle buddy’s planning on going away anytime soon…?” she suggested, somewhat nervously.

He sighed. “Yesterday was the first time I ever regretted fallin’ in love with you,” he admitted. “For just one second, I wished…”

She bit her lip. “I’m sorry,” she whispered softly. “I’m sorry I’ve done things that’ve made this so difficult for you.” She was tempted to pull him against her, cradle him against her chest and assure him that she’d never leave him again. But, somehow, she doubted things would get worked out that easily.

“I can tell you’re thinkin’ about something serious,” he commented offhandedly. “Get this cute li’l line between your brows, and your eyes go all distant and hazy.”

She smiled. “Yeah, well, your jaw goes kinda tense, and your foot starts tapping.” She gestured to the left foot and was wiggling slightly at the end of the bed. He had no socks on, which meant she could see those adorable Spike toes moving with the rest of his foot. For a second she was sidetracked by the memory of her mouth playing with those sweet morsels.

“’d swear you’ve got a foot fetish.” He rolled his eyes.

She grinned before turning serious once more. “I’ve got a lot on my plate right now,” she got around to her point. “But, if you don’t mind me being stressed and over-worked…”

“I just come running back into your arms?” he countered, raising one skeptical eyebrow.

“Actually,” she countered, “I was kinda hoping you’d let me seduce you. It sounds like fun.” Her free hand drifted into his peroxide curls. “This feels real to you, right, baby?” she inquired nervously.

He breathed deep of her scent. “More real than anythin’,” he agreed.

“Good, because I kinda was thinking that maybe, yeah, it is, and…” she babbled incoherently. “I mean…” Her face flushed bright red.

“What?” he requested softly.

“I suck with emotions,” she sighed. “I’m good at analyzing the logical stuff, but…”

“Hmm,” he sighed wearily.

She bit her lip. “Can I…?” she ventured nervously.

He frowned. “What do you…?”

She cut him off by pushing gently on the back of his neck where her hands had been toying with his hair. He frowned slightly in confusion before realization lit up his eyes. For a moment, she feared that he was still angry and would resist, but then he relaxed against her touch and let her pull him close.

“Does this mean we’re together again?” he wondered lazily from where his head was cradled on her breast.

“Actually, I think it means we kinda weren’t really apart,” she replied softly, starting to stroke his hair.

“Oh?” he asked curiously, his voice muffled slightly when he nuzzled the soft cotton of her blouse. “How the bloody hell do you figure that?”

“Well, OK, so we weren’t exactly, y’know…” she began.

“Shaggin’ each other blind?” he suggested.

She giggled at his description. “But you were still the one I always ran to when I thought I had figured something out. I still trusted you, sought comfort and reassurance in you.” The stroking of her hand stopped as her expression turned serious, and she planted a gentle kiss on his platinum curls. “I was mad to think that I could ever stay away from you. No matter what I said, I never stopped thinking about you as… I never stopped thinking about you, or wanting you.”

“All you had to do-” he began.

“Shh,” she cut him off softly. “I think this was another one of those silly things I had to find out by myself.”

He let out a mock snort and moved from her embrace to rest his head on the pillow beside her. A tentative hand slipped around her waist, however. “One ‘f these days, you’ll drive me out of my mind, luv,” he informed her softly.

She smiled as she looked into his beautiful blue eyes. “That’s actually my crafty plan,” she informed him.

“Oh?” He raised his scarred eyebrow curiously.

“Yup,” she agreed, popping the ‘P’. “It’s all part of a massive conspiracy. I was actually sent down to drive you completely crazy with all my conflicted messages and evasive answers.”

“Which reminds me,” he said with a grin, “you never answered my question: are we together again?”

“Why? Do you want to kiss me?” she teased, noticing the short distance between them.

“You’re not answerin’ again,” he informed her.

“It’s probably one of those skills they gave me,” she agreed, “to help drive you insane.”

“’Lizabeth…” he growled.

“You know, I’ve been wondering if I should pick up a nickname,” she commented with an evil grin. “ ‘Elizabeth’ is kinda long. Maybe ‘Liz’. That’s not too bad…”

“Or there’s always ‘Bitsy’,” he teased. “Kathy would be so pleased.”

Elizabeth shuddered. “Don’t even say it,” she cringed. “It makes me get all queasy.”

“Like Buffy?”

Her eyes narrowed. “You’re getting back at me for refusing to answer your question, aren’t you?”

“Betsy-Anne.”

“All right already!” she squealed, covering her ears.

“Well?” he demanded with a scowl.

“It’s not fair,” she pouted. “I’m the girl. That means I get to do the teasing and the blackmail and-”

“Beth-Anne,” he continued unashamedly. “And, hey, weren’t you the one who was s’posed to be seducin’ me? ‘Cause ‘ve got to say, luv. Not feelin’ very seduced right now.”

“Oh, is that right?” She raised one inquiring eyebrow.

“You’d better bloody well believe-”

She cut him off by tackling him back onto the bed, her lips plundering his. “Yes,” she whispered, pulling away for a brief second before trailing down his throat.

“ ‘Yes’ already?” Spike said in amazement. “You must’ve gotten really desperate, ‘cause ‘ve barely even touched you yet…”

She swatted him lightly on the arm. “No, I mean ‘yes’ is the answer to your question. We’re together again. Unless you don’t want to be…” She gave him a nervous smile.

“Dunno, pet.” He snuggled himself down contentedly beneath her. “Might like to see you seduce me a bit more. Build up the old ego some and-”

“God, you’re impossible!” she exclaimed in annoyance, batting at his head with a pillow.

He let out an unmanly squeak and shielded himself from the onslaught…

* * *

Xander and Anya both frowned simultaneously.

“Do you hear that?” Xander asked curiously. “’Cause I would swear that I heard-”

Another feminine giggle interrupted him.

Anya’s eyes widened. “Spike’s got someone in there!” she said excitedly. “Quick, listen in!” She batted her boyfriend over to the paper-thin wall they shared with Spike’s room.

“Ahn,” Xander protested meekly.

“If Spike’s picked up some floozy, then it’s my job - nay, my right - as a gossip to know all about it,” Anya insisted, hands on hips.

Xander gave in and put the coffee cup used for just this purpose up to the wall to listen. “Definitely a girl,” he agreed. “They’re both laughing. Some sounds of tussling…”

“Are they having sex?” Anya asked eagerly, standing right beside him now.

“I don’t think so,” Xander shook his head. “The normal indicators of Spike sex are absent.”

“So, what are they doing?” Anya sounded disappointed.

Xander was relieved. He wanted his friend to be happy, yeah, but he also cared about Elizabeth, and there was no doubt in his mind that she would be devastated if Spike was with another woman. Hey, she might still be, depending on what was happening in there…

“Oh, you’re no good!” Anya exclaimed, shooing at him. She snatched the cup from his hand and listened herself. “Some definite kissing…” she commented.

“How on earth can you tell that?” Xander demanded.

“Pauses and muffles in the laughter,” Anya informed him as if it were the most obvious thing in the universe. “Ooh! Now we’ve got groping…”

“There’s no way you can hear that,” Xander insisted.

“Spike’s moaning,” Anya told him primly. “It’s a clear sign of groping.”

Xander bit his lip. “Elizabeth’s not going to like this…” he sighed.

Anya pulled her ear away from the wall abruptly and set the cup back on its shelf. “I doubt she’ll have a problem with it,” she said dismissively.

“See, that’s where I think you’re wrong,” Xander countered. “Elizabeth’s a little frazzled, yeah, but you can still tell she really cares for him. She wants to get together, just not yet.”

“No, she doesn’t.” Anya looked at him like he was a complete idiot.

“I don’t think you understand-” Xander began.

“No, you don’t understand,” Anya countered. “Your ‘not yet’ is clearly wrong, since Elizabeth is currently in there making out with Spike. And, as for Elizabeth not really liking it… Well, I can’t imagine why she’d be in there otherwise.”

Xander’s eyes widened. “That’s Elizabeth?” He stated at the wall with a mixture of suspicion and goofy giddiness on his face. “How can you tell?”

“I thought Spike moaning out the name ‘Elizabeth’ was a rather clear indication.” Anya opened the door and stood on the threshold. “The fact that she giggled in response indicated very clearly that he didn’t call out the wrong name. Now, are you coming?”

“You’re not eavesdropping on them anymore?” Xander inquired with a little surprise.

Anya batted one hand in the air dismissively. “I’ve heard them have sex lots of times. No, this is a ‘gossip to everyone that cute couple has gotten back together’ situation.”

Xander nodded and followed her out the door…

* * *

“Mmm…” Spike sighed as the hands that had been exploring his now-bare chest finally slowed down to a relaxing trace of the muscles.

“Was that a better attempt at seducing you?” she inquired innocently.

“Better show me a few more times before I answer that,” he countered with a lascivious smirk. “Just to be sure…”

She gave him a regretful smile. “Actually, I don’t have time,” she informed him apologetically.

“Huh?” He blinked.

“Java the Hut said they’d call back between noon and five about my interview,” she informed him, sitting up and straightening her hair. “I gave them the number to my room so I have to be there.”

Spike groaned and fell back on the bed. “You’re workin’ in a café?” He raised one eyebrow curiously.

“Part time, nearby, decent pay,” she agreed. “Plus, I hang out there all the time anyway.”

He nodded. “’S a good idea,” he agreed. “How’d you come into it?”

“Was freaking about the whole job search thing, walked in to grab a latte, saw the sign and said ‘hey, what the hell?’ I’m thinking I could do a lot worse.”

“Undoubtedly,” he agreed with a sigh. “You really hafta go?” It was almost a whimper.

“You can always come to my room, though,” she offered with a coy smile. “We won’t be able to…y’know with Willow there, but…”

“What kind ‘f seduction plan is that?” he mock-scoffed.

“C’mon.” She blinked at him with big, pleading eyes. “We can get some homework done and flirt horribly until Wills starts making gagging noises.”

He snickered. “Well, when you put it like that…”

She caught his hands and pulled him up to his feet. Their lips met in a quick peck before Spike returned to the outer ‘room’ of his dorm room and snatched up his backpack.

“What’re we telling the house about us?” he asked curiously as they walked down the hall together.

Elizabeth shrugged. “They’re bound to notice a lot of the tension is gone,” she pointed out.

“Yeah, but ‘s kind of nice to have it just to ourselves for a while,” he suggested with a shy smile. “Have a bit ‘f fun sneakin’ around behind-” He opened the door to Elizabeth and Willow’s room.

Willow, Anya, Xander, Cordelia, Devon, Jonathan, Andrew, and Oz - who had apparently returned from wherever - all stared back at them.

“Is it true that the two of you are back together?” Cordelia demanded bluntly.

Elizabeth snickered at the expression of Spike’s face.

“Well, bugger that idea,” he said with a sigh…

Blue Horizons
Chapter Forty-Four

It was with a sigh of relief that Elizabeth finally plopped into the chair of the small café. It was long past dark outside, and her feet were killing her.

“Surviving your first week of employment without getting fired provides you with an eighty percent chance of remaining employed for a significant period,” Anya informed her encouragingly. She scooted the last double-latte Elizabeth had made in front of her. “And copious amounts of caffeine with help ease your weariness.”

Elizabeth graced her with a small grin and took a sip. “So, how was non-working-full-time Spring Break?” she asked curiously.

“I secured my summer internship at Wall Street,” Anya provided. “If I’m lucky, it’ll give me an in at one of the large firms.”

“And I spent half the time registering for next year,” Willow provided. “New campus, new advisors, new labs…”

“I sat on my arse and watched TV with Harris,” Spike grinned, “but if you want me to pretend that I suffered through break, too, ‘m happy to oblige…”

Elizabeth cast him a mock-annoyed scowl. “Preparing for your lucrative career as the stay-at-home dad of our children?” she teased.

“Hmmm, never thought about that…” He rubbed his chin as if considering the actual merits of that plan.

Elizabeth whapped him lightly in the arm, he mock-winced in pain, and life was good. Or was it?

“At least you’ll just be part time from now on,” Willow pointed out to Elizabeth. “After this week, that should seem like a piece of cake.”

“No kidding,” Elizabeth agreed with a sigh. “What ever possessed me to tell Jenny that I could work all through Spring Break?”

“Your very logical desire to earn Brownie Points from your employer,” Anya responded matter-of-factly. “It was actually quite a brilliant move. You’re positive you don’t want to be an econ major?”

“Never want to see it again,” Elizabeth insisted vehemently. With a weary sigh, she rested her head against Spike’s shoulder, enjoying his warmth and strength.

After a second, his arm slipped around her shoulders, his fingers stroking her arm through the white fabric of her blouse gently. But after a second. Elizabeth had definitely noticed the brief jolt of surprise that had gone through him at her affectionate gesture. In fact, she was used to Spike reacting to her this way now. It was perfectly clear that he still wanted to be with her, but their separation had apparently left him a bit…trigger shy. It was something she really hadn’t anticipated, but probably should have.

Her hand came to rest on his knee beneath the table, and she gave it a quick, reassuring squeeze.

“So when do you face the Evil Dictator?” Willow inquired, using the house’s favorite nickname for her father.

Elizabeth grimaced. “No more putting it off,” she agreed. “I was thinking of calling him tonight.” She turned to Spike and gave him a soft smile. “If you’re willing, I’d really appreciate it if you’d be there for me…” She bit her lower lip slightly nervously.

His eyes softened at her request. “Of course, ‘ll be there,” he assured her.

She flashed him a radiant smile and caught his lips for a brief kiss. Those few seconds were all it took to light a molten fire within her belly, and she felt as though her heart would explode. And, god, was it wonderful. There was no doubt he was one hell of a kisser.

But that didn’t mean she didn’t notice the difference between the way he kissed her now and the way he had before. Before, he had poured his entire being into her through the union of their lips, offering all that he was and could be to her. Now, he definitely held back a bit, was a little cautious, hesitant.

Elizabeth decided in that moment that she wanted him open to her once more. She would just have to show him that there was nothing to be afraid of now, that she wouldn’t pull back from him again…

“You talked to Dawn yet?” Spike asked curiously after her head had returned to his shoulder. “Given her a head’s up?”

“She’s known it was coming for some time,” Elizabeth agreed. “I mean, I called her as soon as the two of us got back together, so she knows all the news from then. I should probably tell her first that the confrontation’s going to occur tonight, though…”

“Get the easy conversation over first,” Willow agreed. “Drum up some more encouragement and support.”

Elizabeth nodded and returned her attentions to her latte. “So, where is Xander?” Elizabeth asked Anya. “Don’t tell me he’s still watching TV…”

Anya shook her head. “Oh no,” she agreed. “Play rehearsals are back in full force already. Cordy’s teaching him how to do all the lighting stuff.”

“Wow, Xander’s really into that stuff, isn’t he?” Elizabeth asked in surprise.

“Just so long as he doesn’t have to act,” Anya agreed with a small smile. “Although Cordy’s wearing him down slowly…”

“He’s been treatin’ you right, ‘asn’t he?” Spike demanded not so subtly. “’Cause if he’s gettin’ out of line again…”

“I am completely un-threatened by all the time he spends with Cordy,” Anya assured him. “He’s made it quite clear that it’s a platonic thing.”

“’Bout damn time,” Spike agreed gruffly.

Elizabeth couldn’t help but smile at that. She tilted her head slightly so that she could whisper in his ear. “Did I ever tell you you’re sexy when you’re all protective?” she murmured softly.

His cheeks flushed slightly at the compliment as he turned to her.

“It makes me want to do all sorts of naughty things to do,” Elizabeth added with a wink.

Cautiously, he leaned forward to meet her eager lips. The kiss deepened of its own accord…

Anya sighed when it became apparent that they’d just lost half the group. “So,” she turned to Willow, “where are you staying this summer?”

“I’m going home for a bit,” Willow answered, strategically not looking at the kissing couple across from them. “The parents have finally forgiven me now that I’ve chosen a big name graduate school. Then, I’m moving out to Berkeley. I want to nab a cheap apartment early on.”

“Did you get another TA job over there?” Anya inquired.

“Lab work, actually. But I really like the director, so it should be cool.”

Anya nodded. “And Tara?” she ventured bluntly.

Willow sighed. “She seems good,” she admitted. “I mean, it’s a little weird between us because, y’know, it’s kind of over, but… She’s really excited about Columbia’s program, so I can’t really fault her.”

“Have you two considered trying to keep up a long distance relationship?” Anya inquired. “No orgasms, true, but if you really want to stay together…”

“I think we kind of both realize that we’d be stepping on each other’s toes in that case. I mean, we’ll keep in touch, so maybe there’s some chance way in the future, but…” She shook her head. “I mean, you saw how quickly high-school relationships break up once you get to college and start meeting all these new people.”

Anya nodded sympathetically. “I’m sorry,” she offered with unusually open compassion.

Willow nodded. “At least, we can work together on making it as painless as possible,” she said half-heartedly.

Anya murmured her agreement and glanced over at the bleached couple. She rolled her eyes. “Do we have another gut-wrenching topic of conversation?” she wondered. “Because it looks like we have some more alone time…”

Willow grinned at the make-out fest across from them before frowning slightly. “Uh, Elizabeth…” She poked her roommate lightly on the shoulder.

No response.

“You’re going to have to breathe sooner or later,” Willow pointed out, tapping Elizabeth on the shoulder again.

“Huh?” Elizabeth’s pulled away from Spike’s embrace, eyes blinking in surprise when she realized that the world existed outside of the two of them.

“It might be a good idea not to screw your boyfriend right in front of your boss,” Anya added helpfully.

Elizabeth blushed a deep crimson when she noticed that, yes indeed, Jenny was behind the counter, smiling and shaking her head at the antics of the students.

“Oops,” Elizabeth agreed with an unashamed smile. Note to self: tell Spike all the things I love about him more often… That had definitely been more like it.

Placing a final kiss to Elizabeth’s brow, Spike turned back to the group. “So’d we miss anything?” he asked innocently…

* * *

Ring!

Elizabeth bit her lip and twisted the telephone cord around her fingers. Behind her, Spike’s embrace tightened slightly, and the hand at her waist slipped down under the hem of her shirt, finding her navel and stroking it lightly in that way that she liked.

Ring!

She steeled herself up further, wondering why her father was taking so bloody long to answer his cell. The mattress shifted behind her as Spike moved in closer, resting his head on the pillow behind her. She had wanted to do this in the place where she was most comfortable, so here they were in Spike’s bed. She still thought of it as theirs, but they hadn’t shared it since they’d gotten back together. She supposed there was some logic to living separately for a little while.

Ring!

“Summers,” Hank’s voice said sharply right after the last ring.

She took a deep breath. “Dad, it’s Elizabeth.”

“Buffy!” His tone instantly turned jovial. “Sorry about the wait. I’d left my phone in the den.”

“No problem,” she insisted. “But we need to talk about something.”

“Uh, sure, pumpkin, what’s that?”

She could tell that he was only half paying attention to her, his real energy focused elsewhere. Probably on some business matter or another. “I dropped econ.” It was funny just how easily those words came out.

Spike placed an encouraging kiss on the back of her neck.

A definite pause on the other end of the line. “What did you say?” Hank asked, sounding puzzled as if he thought he’d misheard.

Ha! She triumphed inwardly. Finally caught your attention for all of five seconds! “I dropped econ,” she repeated matter-of-factly. “I figured I should tell you first before you spies reported on me.”

“What?” Hank still seemed flummoxed. “Why?”

“Because I’m an art major, not an econ major,” she informed him. “I don’t want to take econ, so I’m not.”

“Buffy…” His voice held a hint of danger now.

“My name is Elizabeth.” Even she was amazed at how strong her voice sounded. Inside, she felt the beginnings of a panic.

Hank exploded at that. “Are you out of your mind, young lady?!” he practically screamed.

Elizabeth held the phone away from her ear at the volume of the shout. “I am not!” she shouted back, equally angry. “Just because I don’t do what you want, doesn’t make me insane! Jeez, lame argument much?”

“How dare you talk to me that way!” Hank shot back. “And I thought I made myself clear that I never wanted to hear about this nonsense again.”

“It’s not nonsense!” she shot back. “It’s my life! It’s who I am!”

“You are my daughter,” he retorted. “And you will do-”

“-Whatever I want. It’s my choice, not yours.”

“Your ‘choice’ will earn you a life of misery and poverty!” he shot back.

“Actually, it looks like a life of middle-class happiness right about now,” she retorted, “but even if you’re right, it’s my choice to make.”

“ ‘Middle-class’?” Hank repeated in disbelief. “Buffy, have you seen how those people live?!”

“Elizabeth,” she corrected. “And, yeah, I have. And it seems a hell of a lot better than the shallow, lavish existence you put me through. Y’know, some of those people even value things like family and love more than, say, money,” she added sarcastically.

“We are not having this conversation!” Hank informed her, furious. “And if you don’t-”

“You can’t threaten me on this one,” she informed him. “I’m an adult now, and-”

“That’s it!” Hank exclaimed. “I’ve had enough of this. If you can’t handle yourself on your own-”

“ ‘Handle myself’?” Elizabeth repeated incredulously. “There are valid lifestyles other than yours, dad. And it is not your right to choose for me!”

“I knew I shouldn’t’ve let you go away to school!” Hank exclaimed. “I should’ve known that the second you got away from me-”

“ ‘Away from you’?” Elizabeth retorted with a snort. “I hate to break it to you, dad, but you’ve never been a part of my life. And it was a choice you made, not me. You don’t even know me. If you did, you wouldn’t be fighting me. Hell, all the people that really know me are happy about the choices I’ve made!”

Hank’s voice lowered to a hiss. “It’s that boyfriend of yours, isn’t it?” he demanded. “He put all these ridiculous ideas into your head.”

“Hello?” Elizabeth exclaimed in indignation. “This has nothing to do with Spike!” She squeezed the hand at her belly to reassure him. “This is about me. You think I was happy being locked up in that cold mansion of yours, being your ‘little princess’? Well, I hated it! I always hated it! I was always unhappy! And all I ever wanted was a real family with a real father.”

“Fine, then you can come home right now,” Hank snapped. “I’m pulling you out of that place and-”

“In case you missed this point earlier,” Elizabeth shot back, “I am an adult now. You can’t make me do anything, and I’m not going anywhere. Worse comes worst, I’ll just take out a loan. Which, really, is what most students do anyway. I just figured it was common courtesy to inform you. Good-bye.” She slammed down the phone.

Spike blinked. “That was quick.”

Elizabeth sighed and leaned back into his embrace. “I have an idea this argument will continue through many, many phone calls.”

“You want me to yank out the phone?” he offered.

“Nah,” she shook her head. “Willow’s already yanked the one in our room, and dad doesn’t have your number.”

“Well, at least that went well,” he commented softly. His brow furrowed. “Or exceptionally poorly…”

“Kinda both, I think,” she agreed, turning in his arms to face him. “He’s just so… God, I hate him!” she screamed in exasperation. And then sniffled.

She looked at Spike helplessly before her façade shattered, and she began sobbing uncontrollably.

Instantly, he was there, holding her close and mumbling sweet nothings. She clung to him as if her life depended on it, not even caring that her tears drenched his shirt.

“G-God…I-I…” she gasped out between sobs.

“Shh, luv,” he soothed her. “Just let it all out.”

“I-I don’t even know why I’m crying!” she managed to exclaim, angry, frustrated, heartbroken, and above all confused…

“’S because you love him,” he suggested softly. “Even though you hate him half the time, he’s still your father and-”

A fresh sob broke out, and then she was incoherent once more.

He held her tight, rocking back and forth softly. He listened to her sobs trail off, only to begin anew over and over again. And, finally, when it was all over, he brushed her hair back from her forehead, and she looked up at him, and…

“Can I stay here tonight?” she requested nervously. “In your bed? With you?”

He knew he should balk at the idea, even if they didn’t renew their sexual relationship. He had wanted to make sure this time, not dive in headfirst only to crash into the wall around her heart, and he could tell he was confused now because he was mixing metaphors like crazy. But that look in her eyes… No, it can’t be…

“Yeah, luv,” he agreed softly. “You can stay with me.”

She latched onto him, her body wrapped around his as he lay back on the bed. With a shaking hand, he reached over to turn off the bedside lamp and then…

“I love you.”

Dammit, he had not meant to say those words again so soon!

Elizabeth sniffled and then smiled against his chest. “I know,” she whispered softly, savoring the calming darkness and the warmth of his body all around her.

And she did know, more than even he realized yet. But this wasn’t the time to tell him, not when the magnitude of her emotional distress was such that they would make the words seem hollow, false. Still, something was in order after his reaffirmed vow…

“I’m yours, you know,” she murmured softly against his chest. “Always yours…”

In each other’s arms for the first time for over a month, the two lovers fell quite easily asleep, contented smiles on both their faces, if only in dreams…

* * *

Elizabeth awoke with a nasty taste in her mouth, dry, aching eyeballs, and the world’s worst crick in her neck. With a groan, she tried to push herself up, only to get a loud “oof!” from the man beneath her. With a sympathetic grimace for where she’d just tried to use his stomach for leverage, she finally rolled off of him and collapsed on her side of the bed.

She lolled her neck around, desperately trying to get out the painful crick. Spike, meanwhile, let out a slight wheezing sound and rubbed at his ribs.

“For future notice,” Spike groaned, “while fallin’ asleep in each other’s arms may sound romantic, ‘s bugger all painful in the mornin’.”

Elizabeth nodded and rolled her head around on her neck another time. “From now on, we sleep on our sides again,” she agreed.

Spike bit his lip at the suggestion that they were sleeping together now. He didn’t even know whether he was happy or uncomfortable with the idea. He was just very… Confused. Maybe even a little frightened. Not that he’d ever admit it.

“Ugh,” Elizabeth complained, smacking her lips, “my eyes are all red and dry from crying last night.”

“Don’t think I have any eyedrops around,” he said apologetically.

“That’s all right,” she assured him. “I’ll just blink a lot.”

He smiled slightly at that and sat up, running one hand through the mussed hair. “Slept in our clothes, too,” he pointed out. “All wrinkled.”

“Oh joy,” she agreed, looking down at her skirt. “I bet this’ll get me an odd look from Willow when I go back to our room to change.”

“More’n showing up naked?” he countered.

“That would at least be fairly obvious,” she pointed out. “But this one… Oh, will her imagination have a field day.”

“Hmm,” he murmured softly, stretching one arm out. Their position had cut of the circulation a bit, and he could feel the pins and needles creeping down to his hand.

Elizabeth sighed. “There’s no way I can avoid dad’s calls all day,” she commented, “so I guess we’ll know by this evening whether I’ve still got tuition.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, reaching over her to grab the water bottle on the windowsill. He took a swig and then offered it to her.

She gratefully drank down the water, the liquid dispelling the dryness as well as a bit of that morning mouth taste. This was what she got for going to bed without brushing her teeth. “What’re you doing today?” she inquired softly.

He shrugged. “Dunno. Last weekend of break. Should prob’ly do somethin’ worthwhile.”

She noticed his distance with a frown. “Spike, are you all right?” she asked, concerned.

He nodded and then sighed. “Just a bit jumbled right now,” he apologized.

She gave him a shy smile. “You were wonderful last night,” she informed him.

He frowned. “We didn’t…?” he began, frantically searching for the lost memory.

“Wonderful in a non-sexual sense,” she clarified.

“You’re callin’ me ‘non-sexual’ now?” he teased lightly.

She rolled her eyes. “You know what I meant.”

A cautious smile lit up his lips. “Yeah,” he agreed softly.

“Y’know,” she began nervously, “I’ve been thinking a lot lately about-”

She was cut off by the ringing of the phone.

They exchanged a nervous look.

“My dad does not have this number,” Elizabeth insisted. “And he doesn’t even know your real name, so he can’t look it up…”

“’S probably just Mum,” Spike insisted, reaching over her and grabbing the receiver. “’lo?” he said lazily. A pause. “Yeah.” A slight frown. “Yeah…” He sighed. “’S for you,” he handed the phone to Elizabeth. “Right about the mum part, but wrong mum. ‘S Dawn’s.”

Elizabeth frowned at that as well. What, had her father enlisted her step-mom in this war now? And how on earth had she gotten this number? Dawn wouldn’t’ve… She wiped the myriad of questions from her mind as she put the receiver to her ear. “Hello?” she asked nervously.

“Elizabeth? It’s Linda,” the familiar voice said.

“Yeah, hi,” she agreed, brushing aside the curious look from Spike for the time being. “What’s up?”

“I heard about what happened with Hank last night,” her stepmother got right to the point, as usual.

“You’re going to yell at me, too?” Elizabeth complained grumpily.

A sigh. “Yeah, Hank was pretty livid last night. I got an incoherent phone call around midnight.”

“Sorry about that.”

“Hank’s fault, not yours,” Linda assured her. “Anyway, Dawn explained to me a bit about what’s been happening over there.”

“She gave you this number?” Elizabeth sighed. “I’m gonna kill her…”

“I’m not calling to chew you out,” Linda insisted, “so Dawn didn’t get you in trouble. I just wanted to see how you were. Last night must’ve been difficult.”

“Yeah well, I had help.” Elizabeth gave Spike’s hand a light squeeze.

“That was your boyfriend who answered?” Linda inquired. “This Spike I’ve been hearing so much about?”

“Yup,” Elizabeth agreed wearily.

Linda chuckled. “Dawn’s right. He does have a sexy voice.”

“Mom!” The indignant cry could be heard in the background.

“Oh yeah,” Elizabeth agreed, casting a quirky smile in Spike’s direction.

He gave her a puzzled look.

“Is he also, quote, the most gorgeousest, hunka coolness ever, unquote?” Linda teased.

“Eep!” Dawn squealed in the background.

“More so,” Elizabeth insisted, giving Spike a wink.

Now he looked downright baffled.

Linda laughed. “Good to know. I’m sure Hank’s been a real stick in the mud about all this.”

“As always,” Elizabeth’s expression turned serious.

“I just wanted to let you know that if you need any help…” Linda began. “There was talk of tuition pulling and inheritance removal last night. I don’t know how much of it was genuine and how much was Hank throwing a hissy fit because he didn’t get his way for once.”

Elizabeth sighed. “Yeah, I’ve been planning on the tuition front,” she agreed. “The only time it might really screw me over is this quarter. It’d be kind of a rush loan, and I’ve heard those can be nasty.”

“I don’t have a lot of money,” Linda commented slowly. “After all, I’ve got most of it saved up for Dawn’s college fund - I will not let her go through this disaster, too - but I could probably loan you something this semester. I promise I won’t ask for an obscene amount of interest.”

Elizabeth blinked in shocked surprise. “Really?” she said in disbelief. “’Cause that would be really…wow. I mean, I would totally pay you back and everything, but…wow.”

Linda laughed. “Just let me know if Hank persists in being more of an ass than usual. We cast-aside women need to stick together.”

“Yeah…” Elizabeth was still stunned. “I mean, thank you. I’ll let you know. Definitely. I mean…thanks. Although I’ve gotta ask…”

“Why?” Linda asked for her. “I know we’re never been close, Elizabeth, but no one should have to deal with the problems you’re having this young. I’d hate to see Hank ruin your life.”

“Thanks,” Elizabeth sniffed slightly. “Y’know, if I’ve ever said anything bad about you, I take it all back.”

Linda laughed. “Dawn won’t be pleased to hear that,” she replied.

“What? What won’t I be pleased with?” Dawn was, apparently, still hovering in the background.

Elizabeth chuckled.

“Well, I should let you get back to your boyfriend,” Linda insisted, “but let me know if you need any help. Especially if Hank tries to pull something nasty. I know all his little tricks.”

“Thanks a lot,” Elizabeth repeated.

“It’s the least I can do,” Linda insisted. “Good luck.”

Elizabeth hung up the phone, still half numb.

“What was that about?” Spike asked curiously.

A smile began to curve across Elizabeth’s face. “I just got some extra leverage,” she replied…

Blue Horizons
Chapter Forty-Five

Spike had been moody lately, and he realized it. A part of him chided himself for moping about when his life was finally looking up again. He had the woman he loved back in his arms, and he had no doubt that if he invited her back into his bed, she would eagerly and enthusiastically share in their lovemaking.

Only he had no desire to. Well, plenty of physical desire, but something was still holding him back.

“You wanna go out this evening?” he asked abruptly, looking up from his textbook over the wire rims of his glasses.

She looked up at him in surprise. “It’s a Wednesday,” she pointed out. “Homework and classes and such. Plus, I’m subbing in for Candice at work.”

“Oh, right,” he agreed with a shrug. “Probably not the best time.”

“I’m free all weekend except Sunday morning,” she offered before returning to the calculus problems before her.

Spike sighed inwardly and returned to Faulkner. He was finding it exceedingly difficult to concentrate, though. He knew he really shouldn’t have expected what was practically the impossible from her, but some small part of him had hoped…

“Blah,” she stuck out her tongue at the page before her.

“Havin’ problems?” he inquired.

“Stupid problem sixteen won’t turn out right, dammit!” she agreed vehemently.

“What is it?”

“An easy problem that requires us to use the Shell Method,” she sighed. “Have I mentioned lately that I hate the Shell Method? It’s got to be the most contorted way to find volume ever.”

He chuckled. “Recall that bein’ my least favorite, too,” he agreed. “Have you tried askin’ Jonathan?”

She nibbled at the end of her pencil. “I’ll feel silly,” she insisted. “It’s such an easy problem otherwise.”

He shrugged. “Maybe your prof wrote a formula down wrong or something. Never hurts to check.”

She nodded slowly. “Hmm, what if I…?” Some frantic scribbling. “No, that’s worse.” With a resigned sigh, she got up. “It’s Jonathan time,” she informed him, dropping a small peck on his forehead before she left the room.

When she was gone, he groaned and flopped back on the bed. Honestly, what was wrong with him? Hadn’t this been what he’d wanted all along? So, then why wasn’t he happy?

Because there’s one more thing you still want, mate, still need…

Before he’d been able to remain content just waiting for her to take her time and develop her feelings for him. Hell, it was to be expected since he’d been the one doing all the pursuing in the beginning. He’d understood her need for time, even if he’d suspected at some times that she was just using it as an excuse. But now…

He’d never been too afraid of rejection. Which, actually, was a damn good thing since he’d needed a thick hide to chase after Elizabeth in the first place, especially in those early days. That wasn’t the part that frightened him. In fact, he had rather enjoyed the challenge of trying to lure her in. The sweet payoff had just been an extra bonus.

But now he was completely, mind-numbingly terrified of her. Because, at the beginning, the rejection really wasn’t all that personal. But then he had opened up to her, given her every part of him - heart, mind, body, and soul - and she had still dumped him. That wasn’t a game. She had seen who he really was, known him, and had still refused him, and…

He was terrified.

Elizabeth flounced back into the room then, and he quickly wiped at his eyes just to make sure. Luckily, he’d gotten good at holding things in during the time when they had been apart.

“Our resident math whiz point you in the right direction?” he inquired with a casual tone that surprised him.

She frowned. “He informed me that the problem doesn’t even make sense the way it’s written.”

“Prob’ly why you couldn’t solve it, then,” Spike agreed.

“Yeah…” She sighed. “Look, the TA has office hours right now, and I wanna get some verification on this.”

He nodded. “Better safe’n sorry.”

“I should probably go right to work after that,” she began planning out loud, “which means I should change and then…”

He drowned her out, forcing his eyes onto the pages in front of him. Admittedly, it would probably have been a lot easier if Faulkner’s sentences weren’t all so long. Bloody Americans.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, all right, baby?” Her words and the peck on his cheek brought his attention back to her once more.

“Uh, yeah…” he agreed with a half-smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

She bit her lip. “Have I mentioned lately that I adore the way you look with glasses on?” she commented softly, running her fingers through his hair.

His eyes lit up a bit at that. “Can never say it too much, luv,” he grumbled in a low baritone, pulling her down into his lap.

Their lips still met instinctively, but all too soon Elizabeth was pulling away again.

“Sorry,” she apologized, fingers straightening her hair, “but I’ve really gotta catch my TA.”

“Later, then,” he agreed with a slight sinking feeling in his chest. Now he wasn’t going to see her again all day.

She smiled at him and headed out the door before stopping right on the threshold. “Spike?”

He looked up at her hopefully. “Yeah, luv?”

“I’ll miss you, baby,” she said with a tender smile. “Always thinking about you, y’know.”

“Me, too,” he agreed.

“Bye, then.”

“Ta.”

He swore inwardly when she had gone. He really did realize that she couldn’t really be expected to remember, but he was just a foolish optimist about these sorts of things.

“Happy birthday to me,” he grumbled under his breath before throwing the book across the room in a fit of frustration. And immediately regretted it. After all, he really was rather fond of Faulkner…

* * *

By the time Spike arrived at his mother’s house that night, he was downright depressed. If his separation from Elizabeth had taught him anything, it was how to achieve his social needs without her. He’d spent an insane amount of time in Cordy and Anya’s rooms during the break-up depression - the latter often to the unspoken annoyance of Xander - and he’d come to count on them the same way he had after he’d lost Drusilla.

No such luck tonight, though. Xander and Anya had some sort of ‘special evening’ planned. Since it was a Wednesday and the both had class tomorrow, Spike figured that translated roughly to sex. Cordy was off with her play thing. Something about dresses and fabric swatches that had sent him fleeing in terror. Willow, of course, was at the lab. Devon was rushing to finish his latest article for the college paper. Even Jonathan and Andrew had run off on some role-playing gig.

In the end, he’d had nothing left to do but take up his mother’s offer to come home for his birthday. At least she had bothered to learn when it was…

The scent of familiar kitchen scents brightened his spirits a bit as he came in the back door. It had always been a complete mystery to him how his mum managed to cook so well what with all the lesson plans and assignment grading she had to do.

The kitchen was empty aside from the two place settings, the small cake - German chocolate, his favorite, and the two silver pans that remained atop the stove, not cooking but just being kept warm in anticipation of his arrival.

He peeked under the lids cautiously. His mother had an uncanny knack for catching him at this, and he’d earned many a playful stirring spoon swat for it as a child. Just because he was twenty now - as of this day, in fact - didn’t mean she was above her old teasing, though.

Mmm, alfredo…

He could, of course, make it himself any time he wanted - mum had made sure of that - but it was nice to come back to a safe, comfortable place, food provided for him, a sanctuary from the rest of the troubles of his life. Plus, no matter how hard he tried, his cooking just never was as good as mum’s anyway.

“Hey!”

The wooden spoon seemed to come out of nowhere, brushing the backs of his knuckles lightly as he reached for the lid to the pasta. He winced in jest, even though the blow hadn’t hurt the slightest. And then froze.

“If the lid’s off, then all the moisture with get out,” Elizabeth explained patiently, plopping the lid back down on the pan. “Or, at least, that was what your mom told me…”

For a second, he was stunned speechless. And then, paradoxically, the absolutely most idiotic thing that was flitting through his head came out. “You’re late for work!” he exclaimed in horror.

Elizabeth gave him a patient smile. “I asked Jenny if she could sub for me instead. As soon as I explained that it was my boyfriend’s birthday and all, she let me off the hook. I believe her exact words were: ‘That sexy devil? That’s way more important than this job!’” She laughed. “You know, she’s actually a pretty cool boss.”

Spike still hadn’t quite absorbed the ‘Elizabeth here’ concept. In fact, he was doing the cutest little gaping thing…

She caught his jaw with one index finger and pushed it closed, her finger moving on to stroke a line up his smooth chin to trail across that succulent lower lip of his. “Surprise,” she said with a small smile before leaning in and tasting that oh-too-tempting mouth.

She could almost feel his body melt into their kiss, and she was confident that his knees were as weak as hers were at that moment. However, they clung together and somehow found strength and balance.

“I thought you’d forgotten,” he murmured against her hair when they pulled apart for breath. He was somewhat horrified to realize that there were tears in his eyes.

“My man turning twenty?” she asked incredulously. “How could I forget something important like that?”

“Th-The others…” he began.

“Had strict instructions from me to be as unavailable as possible,” she informed him. “Wanted to get you out here all alone without arousing your suspicions.” Her fingers stroked the hair at the back of his neck gently, and she squeezed her eyes shut tight, breathing in the heady scent of him. “My love.”

His heartbeat quickened, but he shook the epithet off. After all, he had called her ‘luv’ long before he’d actually felt…

“We’re having the official dorm party this weekend,” she babbled on nervously in the background, “but I figured tonight was a special night, and it would nice to just be alone and get away from it all…” She waited with baited breath for his reaction.

“You all pulled one over on me,” he grumped good-naturedly. “Bloody devious lot.” He flashed her a shy smile and gave her a quick kiss.

OK, no reaction to the admission. Better spell it out more clearly. Maybe I should try clubbing him over the head… “Mmm,” she agreed softly, shaking away the somewhat silly - but oddly appealing - thought, “you hungry?”

“Famished,” he agreed, still nuzzled into her throat. “You make all this for me?”

“Well, actually, your mom did the cooking,” she admitted. “Consider it part of my present to you that you don’t have to pretend to like my cooking.”

“The blackened macaroni was…interesting,” he failed spectacularly at trying to reassure her.

She chuckled at that. “It’s all right, baby. I’m quite aware that kitchen appliances run screaming from me in horror.”

He grinned. “Wouldn’t have it any other way,” he whispered softly against her hair. He pulled away then, his voice returning to its usual casual tones. “So, where is Mum then?” he asked curiously, turning off the burner and carry the sauce over to the table. “She’s not eatin’ with us?”

“Actually,” Elizabeth snuck up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, her lips whispering right in his ear, “she’s not here. Some prof’s gig at the motel. I managed to convince her to spend the night there, so it’s just you and me, alone together All. Night. Long.” These last three words were punctuated with sensual nibbles to the ring in his ear.

He shivered at her lips’ caresses. His ears had always been a bit of an erogenous zone, the merest brush turning his limbs to warm molasses. “Gettin’ better at the whole seduction thing,” he breathed out huskily.

“I had a good teacher,” she agreed. The fingers of one hand began toying playfully with the button to his jeans.

“Oh?” A lazy smirk lit up his face.

“Yeah,” she agreed with a wicked grin of her own, “you wouldn’t believe some of the things Riley taught me…”

“Humph.” Grumpily, he pushed her away and returned to the task of getting their food on the table.

“Just kidding, baby,” she assured him.

He glared at her, feathers still ruffled. “I know,” he agreed, holding out one of the chairs for her and gesturing for her to sit down.

She pouted. “If I knew you couldn’t take a joke…” she muttered.

A hint of humor lit up his eyes, but he just shook his head and scooped a heaping of pasta onto her plate.

“If you want,” she twirled the noodles around on her fork with an impish smile, “I can stroke your ego… All. Night.”

He gulped audibly, and his eyes widened. He could tell she was mild amused as he shifted uncomfortably on his chair. Inwardly, he was baffled where all his resistance was vanishing off to. There was something about this woman…made him all soft inside, made him want to risk everything all over again because he knew that it would be worth it. And, hell, when had she ever done anything sweet and romantic for him before? That alone made it hard enough for a bloke to remain aloof…

“Or whatever,” she shrugged. “After all, it’s your night. We can do whatever you want.” She rose. “Wine?”

“Please,” he agreed, watching her pop out the cork in the bottle with practiced ease. An eyebrow rose in response.

“It’s not exactly a skill you forget,” she answered his unspoken question, “no matter how long it’s been…”

“And you’re not worried ‘bout me turnin’ back into a drunkard?” he countered, watching her fill up two glasses with the burgundy liquid. Something was making his mouth water, and he doubted it was the food or the wine.

“Now that I’m here to keep you on the straight and narrow?” she shot back, taking a sip of her own wine before handing his glass to him.

The trust in the gesture was implicit. Bad memories and old fears that his presence washed away. The feeling of complete safety she had when she was with him. It was all he could do to keep from stuttering like the shy schoolboy he had once been.

“Why do your parents always have the best wine?” Elizabeth wondered in full pasta twirling mode once more.

“Taste?” he suggested with a quirky smile.

She grinned at that. “You know,” she pointed out, “we’ve had a ridiculous number of dates with fettuccini. I’m almost thinking it’s becoming a bit of a thing.”

“It is my favorite,” he pointed out.

“Guess you’ve got taste, too, then,” she said with a smile.

“Don’t think ‘ve ever heard a more obvious fish for a compliment, pet,” he teased, falling back easily into the comfortable banter between them. This felt good. There was something fundamentally right about being with her like this. It was almost as though some part of him knew something that just flitted across the edges of his consciousness…but something good, something that made him feel all warm inside again, like he was ready to love her once more…

She mock-pouted. “Does that mean I’m not getting one?” She batted her eyelashes at him.

He chuckled. “Plus, your taste is so much better,” he teased. “Just look at the handsome catch you caught yourself.”

She grinned evilly. “Someone’s feeling confident tonight,” she commented.

He gulped. “Think ‘ll just quit while ‘m ahead, luv, if it’s all the same to you,” he conceded her victory before whatever nasty little barb she had came out. After all, his hide was still a little soft, not quite ready to take her at her snarkiest.

“Giving up so easily?” she sounded disappointed. “And here I was looking forward to a real challenge…”

He shrugged. “Should be happy, luv,” he pointed out. “Finally admitted you can beat me.”

Her hand was across the table in an instant, stroking the back of his. “Never,” she insisted vehemently.

He started in surprise at that. “Luv, I-”

“Shh,” she cut him off. “Spike, look at me.” Those blue eyes of his were hesitant at meeting hers, but eventually they did so. “You know,” she commented thoughtfully once she had his full attention, “I never really thought this could happen. I mean, I was always a great fighter in the dojo, but then when I would have to face people in real life…I just kinda always backed down, y’know?”

He looked slightly baffled by her little rant and took another sip of his wine.

“But then I met you and…I wanted nothing more than to fight with you all the time.”

He couldn’t help but smirk at that. “Thanks ever so. Nice to know I bring out the worst in you.”

“You bring out the best in me,” she contradicted. “All this strength and determination I’ve been keeping hidden - you’re the one who brings it out.”

His cheeks flushed slightly, but he kept up his teasing tone. “So, you’re thankin’ me for making you all bitchy?”

She cast a mock-scowl in his direction. “No, dumbass, I’m thanking you for challenging me, for making me strive to be better than what I usually am, for being my equal in everything.” Her eyes dropped to her lap for a second before looking back up at him shyly. “It’s part of why I love you.”

Time seemed frozen for a minute, and then the emotions shifted in his eyes, so rapidly that not even Elizabeth could read them. Surprise was a recurring theme, however.

“Huh?” was the first word to come out of Spike’s mouth. Elizabeth almost felt giddy with how sweetly innocent he looked.

“I love you, William,” she said softly, reaching out for his hand and stroking the backs of his knuckles. “I don’t know why and I don’t know how, but I love you more than anything.”

He gulped, brain still slightly disconnected, hand tingling from his love’s caresses. “Why? How?” He flinched when he finally registered her previous statement. “I mean, um…”

“Don’t tell me I’ve struck you speechless,” she teased lightly, slipping around the table to sit at his side.

“Well, no, it’s just I… Oh bugger!” Unable to come up with anything reasonable to say, he yanked her into his lap and proceeded to kiss her breathless.

With a contented sigh, Elizabeth let her lips part against his and wrapped her legs about his waist. Their tongues danced and parried, fighting a never-ending battle that just led to eternal bliss. Her fingers came up to twine through his platinum hair, curling the soft locks about her fingers as she pulled him in deeper. She could feel the hardness between her thighs now, and her lips slipped away from his, her head thrown back in a gasp.

He leaned into her, nuzzling her throat gently and placing soft kisses all along her jaw line. He felt almost dizzy, as if this were some sort of wonderful dream concocted by his subconscious to torment him with that which he could never have. A brief, irrational fear went through him for a second that this was all a dream and that he would wake up cold and alone in his bed any minute.

Her lips found his again, reassuring him with their warmth and passion. He could feel her pouring into his mouth, filling him, consuming him. “God, I love you!” he pulled back for an instant to gasp out.

“Love you, too, baby,” she whispered against his ear, playing with the sensitive ring once more. “Finally figured out what that means, and I love you.”

“What does it mean?” he asked curiously, shifting slightly in his seat. The kitchen chairs hadn’t been ergonomically designed for making out, and he was debating whether to move this little birthday celebration somewhere more comfortable.

She bit her lip at that and looked at him. “You were right, it’s impossible to really explain… I just…I know I can live without you, but the thought of being apart… It would be like half of me was missing. You make me feel so good, and not just in the, y’know, obvious ways but also deep down inside and I… God, I can’t even begin to describe it!” She exclaimed in exasperation and kissed him again. “I love you,” she murmured against his lips, those words being the only ones available to express her feelings.

“Mmm,” he whispered incoherently, pushing her back and…

The plates on the table rattled with the collision, snapping them both out of the spell.

“Uh, yeah, food,” Spike blinked blearily, still half in that wonderful happy place.

Elizabeth caught her breath and managed to nod very slowly. “Were you done?” she inquired hopefully.

“Well, I…” he began guiltily. “’S really good,” he pointed out helplessly, “and there’s cake.”

“Cake will keep ‘til later,” she commented.

“True,” he agreed.

“And this is an emergency. I’m sure the tasty fettuccini will forgive us.” She was teasing him lightly now, her lips quirked into a smile.

“God, I love you!” he exclaimed fervently, rising to his feet and carrying her from the kitchen.

Elizabeth squealed, holding onto his body tight and peppering kisses across his cheeks and brow. Halfway up the stairs, he dropped her back down to her feet, and she let out a little moan of complaint that they were no longer rubbing intimately together.

He immediately apologized with another of those long, lazy kisses that made her toes curl. “Sorry, luv, but you’re heavy.”

She scowled at him. “I thought you were complaining that I was too skinny,” she countered.

“Din’t say too heavy,” he pointed out, hands slipping down her waist to cup the small cheeks of her ass. He held her firmly in place while he ground his hardness against her.

She moaned and gasped in delight, hands fisting into the fabric of his black tee.

“See?” he countered with a chuckle. “Got myself some nice flesh to hold onto.”

Another scowl. “Are you saying my ass is fat?” she demanded.

He let out an annoyed snort. “No, ‘m saying you’re bloody perfect, if you’d just listen to a word I’m saying!” he exclaimed.

“Then can’t you come up with a way of saying it that doesn’t involve my weight?!” she shot back.

“God, you’re so-”

“-Stubborn-”

“-Pig-headed-”

“-Impossible!”

“-Impossible!” Spike exclaimed at the same moment.

The looked at each other, and then their lips smashed back together with renewed intensity. “God, I love you.” “Love you so much.” “Missed you, my love.” “Can never get enough of you, baby.” The sweet murmurs of affection followed them up the stairs and, amazingly, despite their weak-kneed staggers in between lust-filled kisses, they finally fell backwards together onto Spike’s bed.

“Finally!” Elizabeth breathed an exasperated sigh of relief before pinning his shoulders down and proceeding to kiss every inch of skin that was exposed to her.

Spike’s hands ran up and down her sides, slipping beneath the soft fabric of her blouse. “Too. Many. Clothes,” he managed to articulate, his words punctuated by soft kisses to her throat.

“Agreed.” She slipped back off of him and quickly disrobed, tossing clothing aside carelessly in her haste.

It took him a second to catch his breath before he pulled his shirt over his head as well. “God, I’m easy,” he couldn’t help but tease.

Elizabeth shot him a grin and kicked her panties to one side. “Part of why I love you,” she said with a coy smile before tackling him back onto the bed.

“I haven’t-” he began to protest but was cut off by her demanding lips.

Her hands answered his concern, however, finding the button of his jeans and unfastening it. The sound of the zipper slowly being lowered sounded above their gasps for air, causing them both to moan more loudly in anticipation.

He hissed in ecstasy when her tiny hand reached in and pulled him out, her fist pumping up and down on his hard length. One hand slipped between her bare thighs in response, stroking her pleasure out of her, while the other came up to cup one of her small breasts, kneading it tenderly between thumb and fingers.

“Think,” she gasped, “maybe it’s been a bit too long.”

“Yeah,” he couldn’t help but agree, already feeling the pleasure start to build within him to insurmountable levels.

“Should make this slow,” she decided, trailing kisses along his strong jaw line, “draw it out, make it memorable…”

“First time back together and all,” he agreed, slipping one finger inside her.

Twinges of ecstasy ripped through her body as he unerringly stroked the sensitive spot deep within her. “OK, that’s it! Want you now. Slow and sweet later,” she announced.

“Couldn’t agree with you more, luv.” He gasped when her thumb traced the slit of his rock-hard erection and then caught her about the waist, rolling them over.

She squirmed beneath him, thighs spreading even as she tried to regain control once more. “Won’t win that easily…”

“I so deserve to drive after all ‘ve been through,” he retorted, kicking his jeans down his legs and off.

She smiled up at him and caught the soft hairs at the nape of his neck with one hand, drawing him in to another languorous kiss. She could feel his head pressing at the entrance to her womb now, damp with the evidence of their combined desire.

“Wait, luv,” he paused when her legs slipped around his waist to try to draw him in. “You still safe?”

“Stayed that way the whole time,” she assured him softly, thumb tracing the razor edge of one cheekbone. “Kept myself ready for you all along, couldn’t bear…not…” Her eyes squeezed shut tight as he pushed his way into her slick channel, her walls stretching and expanding to accommodate his impressive girth.

“Keep talkin’,” he requested, his voice ragged against her ear as he fought for breath.

“Always waiting for you,” she whispered against him, “waiting for this. Wanted to be with you, wanted to be close just…like…this…”

Her words turned to scattered gasps as he began moving inside of her, slowly at first but with an ever-building crescendo.

“Never stopped loving you,” he murmured into her hair as his hips pistoned deep into her body, striking her very core with each thrust, “never stopped hoping…”

“I’m so sorry, baby,” she gasped, her arms and legs tightening about him, capturing him in their vise. “Never meant to hurt you, never wanted it to be like that for you, my love. God, my love, my sweet, sweet love…”

“’Lizabeth,” he whimpered, the dampness of his tear wetting her cheek.

“Shh, Spike, shh…” she soothed, her body fully enclosing him, taking him deep inside and flat out refusing to let go. “I’ve got you, my love. I’ve always got you. I love you too much to let go. Never again…”

His body tensed at her admission, her words sending him over the precipice. He babbled incoherent endearments into her hair as he spurted his pleasure inside her.

She cried out as well, sparks firing throughout her nerves as she climaxed. With her last bit of conscious will, she turned Spike’s chin so that she could look right into those beautiful blue eyes of his and she whispered those magic words once more. “I love you…”

“Love you…” he whispered back before his body collapsed from release and exhaustion. He barely managed to roll off of her before they both fell asleep, each clutching at the other tightly as pleasant dreams of their time together welcomed them…

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