Disclaimer: I wished I owned them, they'd still be on the air on my very own Mutent channel. I would like to thank Joss for creating these wonderful characters that we refuse to let die.

Pairings: S/B, S/Fred (temp, and written to meet the need of the story, so graphic sex between them of the not so nice kind, B/Riley.

A/N: WARNING, a DARK piece of fiction with a light at the end of the tunnel. Love is not always easy, can sometimes be very hard and one might think beyond their reach once they lose it. I will warn everyone before the bad girl Fred scenes occurs. I decided to make one of the girls the bad person in this story.....yep Angel and Riley will not be the bad guys here.....All comments are welcome, but be warned this is a dark fiction.......I'm also learning LJ, under spikespet7 come and visit.



TO FORGIVE OR FORGET



Buffy watched as Spike played his heart out to the crowd. She could tell he was in the zone, as he brought the music to life with his guitar. He had told her that getting lost in the zone was like making love. That is was the next best thing to being inside her.

One year ago, today she had met the lead guitarist for Angel's Redemption, who tonight was the opening act for Eric Stewart. Their CD, Soul Catcher, went number one after 3 weeks on the charts; making them a very hot item that everyone wanted a part of. The CD has been holding its own and has remained in the top ten over the last six month.

The two young females in the row in front of her were wearing Spike tee shirts and nudging each other every time the hot guitarist would come and play in front of them. She figured each of them believed he was playing just for them, when in fact he playing to her.

"I would let him fuck me anytime or anywhere," the one girl yelled.

"I wouldn't turn him away, that's for sure," the other girl screamed back.

Buffy fought the urge to lean forward and tell them that the only person he was fucking tonight was her, his girlfriend. It was difficult to be the adult sometimes and times like this really made it even harder.

*******

Spike stood drinking his third beer since finishing their set. The rest of the band was mingling about, as he stood listening to the groupie promising him anything he wanted. The more he listened the more he wanted to laugh in her face. No one could come close to tempting him to stray. His golden princess was all he ever wanted or needed.

"I can make you come so hard baby, it would send you into next week," Harmony purred as she licked her lips and stared hungrily at the crotch of his tight black jeans. "The things I would love to do with you would make both your heads spin."

"Sorry, still not interested," Spike said dully as he lifted the beer bottle to his lips.

"Maybe we can go some where private, so I can give you a sample of what my tongue can do." She offered as she rubbed her hips with her hands, causing the hem of her short dress to rise up showing her red satin garters holding up black sheer nylons.

"Nope, nada, don't know why you're still here." Spike shrugged as he looked to see if Buffy was there yet.

"I guess I could ask you the same thing?" Buffy asked from behind him.

Spike turned and greeted her with a warm smile as he pulled her toward him, "'Cause this is where you told me to meet you."

Buffy relaxed as she remembered she had told him she'd meet him right here after his set. It just had taken longer then she had anticipated getting backstage. She wrapped her arms around his neck and met him half way as they kissed.

She heard the hard click of the blonde bimbo's stiletto heels as she scurried away bitching about the nerve of girlfriend's coming to the shows. Soon her lover's talented tongue made her forget all about the raging hormones of groupies and lusting fans.

"Coming up for air anytime soon?" Angel asked the couple.

After a few minutes of the couple still kissing, Xander asked, "God, how can they do that for so long and live?"

"Lots and lots of practice," Cordy snorted.

"Yep," Oz agreed.

"I think it's sweet," Tara replied as she shyly smiled at the couple.

"I wonder if Buffy gives lessons," Doyle said aloud, causing Spike to growl and lift his lips slightly from his lady's.

"No, she doesn't," Spike informed him.

"Spike lips, lips of Spike all for Buffy." Buffy sighed as she leaned her forehead against his chin.

"Got that right, baby." Spike chuckled as he kissed the top of her head.

"Well, let's get things packed up so we can enjoy the rest of the show," Angel suggested, hoping to catch as much of Stewart's performance as he could.

"I second that motion," Spike agreed, wanting to watch his hero play.

"Third." Oz motioned as he and the others then left to pack up their equipment and load it into their truck.

*******

Buffy's frustration was very close to becoming anger as she watched her boyfriend continue to drink heavily. He had promised he would cut back and not drink to excess anymore. For the last six months, he'd been doing a great job at it. He hadn't ingested any illegal drugs at all in that time either.

"That ass!" She mumbled as she watched him do a line of coke off the side of his hand, followed by a shot of whatever he and the other guy was drinking.

Buffy walked quickly over to her man, stood with her arms crossed across her chest and glared at him. It took the other man, nudging Spike in the ribs for him to even notice she was there.

"Hey, baby," he cooed.

"Don't hey baby me, Mister." She fumed as she pulled away from his hand. "I think it's a good time for us to leave."

"I'm not ready to leave yet. The party is really getting interesting." Spike pouted as he moved closer to her and started to get angry when she stepped away from him yet again.

"No, it's not getting more interesting, you are just getting a bit too high," she told him. "You promised me, Spike, that you'd never do drugs again. You promised to cut back on your drinking too."

"But it's a special night, baby. We opened for ES and got interviewed by the Rolling Stone," Spike reasoned.

"Man, are you a pussy or what, letting the little woman dictate to you how to celebrate your success," the man who was feeding Spike the drugs complained.

"Yeah, don't dictate to me," Spike whined, as he felt inspired by the other man's words.

"Dictate! Well let's see if you remember the deal, Spike." Buffy reminded him. "You go back to drugs; I leave your ass."

"Buffy, don't be like that baby. It's only for tonight," Spike told her.

"Spike, either you come home with me now and we talk about it, or don't come home at all." Buffy offered her ultimatum, knowing that his decision would make or break them.

"Don't threaten me, bitch," Spike snarled, feeling his manhood being challenged.

"Bitch? Did you just call me a bitch?" She asked softly the pain laced through her voice.

"If the shoe fits, wear it," Spike replied, as the other man's comment to stick to his guns encouraged him to stand his ground.

"Then I guess we have nothing more to say," Buffy told him with tears in her eyes as she turned to walk away.

Spike's inner voice was begging him to go to her and beg for forgiveness for his stupid words. But the inner demon had a hold on him and wouldn't let him do it, and it didn't help that the other man was telling him, ‘great job of telling the bossy bitch off.’

Buffy blindly made it to the elevator, refusing to break down here in front of everyone. The last thing she needed was for anyone to try and stop her from leaving. She just didn't want to deal with losing another loved one to drugs.

It still hurt that her mother had chosen the drugs over her. She would clean up one binge after another, with her mother promising to stop. The promises were lies since she continued to find needles in the bed, under the couch, on the back of the toilet, and in the cookie jar. Strange men came and went at all hours of the day or night.

The day they came to her job to tell her that her mother had died from an overdose down at the neighborhood drug house had not come as a surprise. Part of her hated her mother for doing this to them, while the other part was relieved it was finally over. There was no way she could do it again with Spike.

"Do you love him?" A male voiced asked.

She turned to see Mr. Stewart standing behind her; Spike had introduced her to him earlier, looking at her with sympathetic eyes. All she could do was shake her head yes, realizing to speak the word would bring on the tears.

"I take it this is not a first time occurrence," he stated simply, as he turned his eyes back toward the man in question.

Buffy, again, could only shake her head no. Wondering where he could be going with this and wishing the elevator would arrive and save her from further interrogation.

"Is he worth fighting for?"

"I can't take that chance anymore. I lost the fight with my mother, and I just don't have it in me to compete with the demon inside him that it brings out. He has never called me a bitch before," she whispered as the tears began to flow.

"I understand, Miss Summers, more then you will ever know." Eric said as he motioned for one of the men working for him to come over. "Deacon, see to it that Miss Summers makes it safely home."

"Yes, Mr. Stewart." He replied as he bowed his head to her and said, "Come with me Miss, we will need to go down the back elevator to reach where the limo is parked."

Buffy smiled softly and said, "Thank you."

"You are very welcome, and I hope everything works out for you," Eric said as he leaned in and lightly kissed her cheek.

He watched the petite blonde beauty walk away making a promise to her to see what he could do to make that young man of hers see the error of his ways. Maybe he could use his influence to bring the man back from the edge before he fell.

*******

Angel felt the urge to go over and clean his cousin's clock. He and Spike had formed the band in high school with several of their high school friends seven years ago. The day that Buffy had come into Spike's life had been a lifesaver for both of them.

He knew he needed to simmer down before going over and confronting Spike on his scandalous behavior. He wanted to vomit as he watched Spike let the little whore touch him like that in public.

*******

Spike felt his cock harden as he watched Harmony slowly snort the line of coke off the side of his hand and then lick it clean. The effect traveled down to his crotch.

"Oh, yeah, baby, that's it." He moaned as she took his thumb inside her mouth and sucked on it.

She hummed around it as her hand cupped his erection and massaged it in time with her suckling of his digit. Both became lost in the lust and didn't notice when someone came and pulled them apart.

"Hey, I was enjoying that mind you," Spike slurred as he reached to pull the girl back.

"You’re a bastard Rayne." Doyle snarled as he noticed the lust crazed look in other man's eyes. "You don't deserve her."

"Yes, I deserve her pretty little lips sucking me off," Spike replied misinterpreting Doyle's meaning.

"Oh, you deserve the slut; you don't deserve Buffy."

"Doyle, stop right now." Angel's voice sounded angry as he stepped between the dark haired Irishman and his drugged out cousin. "This is a conversation best held in the morning when he will remember it."

"I won't be here in the morning. I'm outta of this mess. I refuse to work with a druggie." Doyle informed his boss as he threw his hands up and backed away.

"Come on man, don't over react like that," Xander tried to reason with their rhythm guitarist.

"I've been burned too many times playing with fuck ups like him. Next, he'll be late for warm ups, his need for a fix more important. Then it'll be he can't make it to the warm ups before the show and then comes the no shows," Doyle explained, being the only one that had been in other bands than Angel's Redemption.

"I would never be late, never," Spike yelled.

"Yeah, and I never thought I'd see the day you'd chose blow for your nose and let the likes of that touch you over Buffy," Doyle said as he pointed over at Harmony with a disgusted look on his face.

"Blondie Bear don't let him talk about me like that," Harmony whined as she shot the Irishmen a glare.

"Enough!" Angel shouted. "Spike, we're leaving and I mean just you, me and Cordy."

Spike was about to say something when Cordy walked over to Harmony with a hateful look on her face. "Bitch leave before I make you leave."

"But I'm with Spike," she pouted.

"You won't be able to walk if you don't get out of my face by the time I count to five." Cordy sighed, and started to count.

Tara took the silly doped up girl by the arm and dragged her way advising her, "You don't want Cordy to show you she means business. I mean, you do make a living with your looks right? Well, after she was done, do I really need to spell it out for you?"

"But I'm with Spike," she continued to whine.

"No honey you're not with Spike," Tara gently corrected her. "'Cause if you are with him, we'd disown him."

Angel walked over getting into his cousin's face and warned him, "If you give me one ounce of trouble I will punch your lights out."

Even as intoxicated as he was, Spike knew if he bucked his cousin right now the bloke would knock his block off for sure. One thing was constant about Angel; everyone knew when they had pressed his buttons for the last time.

"Doyle, you can quite the band if you want, but not until this tour is over," Angel informed him.

"Fine!" was all Doyle said, before he left to go back to his apartment.

"The rest of you go home and get some rest, me and Cordy will take it from here," Angel instructed everyone else.

"Actually I would like for you to bring him to my suite."

Everyone looked over at the legendary rock hero and for the first time realized they'd aired their dirty laundry in front of him and his band.

"Mr. Stewart, we're sorry if we caused you any trouble," Angel apologized to the man who they were opening for.

"Don't think twice about it, just let me take care of him for now," Eric said as he walked over and stood before the man who reminded him of a time long ago.

"Mr. Rayne, we will have a long and difficult discussion when you sober up." Eric looked down at him with gentle brown eyes.

"What could you possibly have to talk to the likes of me about?" Spike snorted, feeling suddenly nauseated and dizzy.

"Nothing at the moment, but I think you need to find a place to rest and let the shit wear off," Eric advised, recognizing the look of a man coming down off his high.

"But why me of all people?"

"If you had to choose love or money what would it be?" Eric asked.

"Why not both?"

"It's not on the menu," Eric answered with a soft smile on his face.

"Money, it doesn’t leave you unless you want it too," Spike responded, with a cocky look on his face.

"But is can be taken from you and used against you just like love. The only difference, it does not fill your bed at night or brighten your days for it cannot smile like she does or curve to your body like she can. It can't kiss you and bring you bliss like she can. It can't warm you the same as when you sheath yourself deep into her body and make her scream for you by name. Then comes the children, nothing compares to when the woman you love carries the life you both created with that love. That my friend money cannot buy or compete with." Eric sighed, thinking about the women he had loved and the child he'd lost.

"I'm afraid of that kind of love," Spike whispered before he passed out as his cousin and Xander caught him.

"Let's take him to my limo and then we can put in the room next to mine," Eric said, knowing he would do everything in his power to put this young man back together again.

*******
 

TO FORGIVE OR FORGET part 2





Buffy found it hard not to embrace his pillow and breathe in his scent, as she pulled it close to her face. All she could do when she got home was crawl into their bed. The thought of packing and leaving was beyond her energy level at the moment because her world was crumbling around her.

*flashback*

"Hey Willow who's your pretty little friend?" Frank the bouncer at the Magic Box asked.



"This is my friend Buffy. Buffy this is Frank. He lets me in to see my Oz." Willow introduced them.



"Where have you been hiding her?" Frank asked.



"Nowhere. It's just has taken me like forever to get her to come down here," Willow explained.



"Well, sweetness you should make it a habit to visit us more often." He winked as he let the two women enter the club ahead of all the rest.



"He's hot for you," Willow teased.



"No he's not," Buffy denied.



"Okay, live in denial, but you don't wear it well you know," Willow giggled.



"So, your boyfriend's band must be really popular." Buffy changed the subject off Willow trying to fix her up with the bouncer.



"Yeah, they are, and it scares me that he will meet someone more pretty and outgoing than me," Willow sighed.



"I find that hard to believe; he adores you," Buffy reassured her.



"I know, but look at these girls here, they have sexy, gorgeous, perky body parts."



"Willow, you are just as, if not more, beautiful then all the girls here and he knows that." Buffy shook her finger at her friend with a stern look on her face.



"Okay, my turn to change the subject." Willow was quick to redirect the conversation away from herself, "Let me tell you about the members of the band. "Angel Giles is the head honcho, lead singer of the band. Spike Rayne is the lead guitarist and sings backup and is co-founder of the group. He and Angel are cousins, since their mothers were sisters. Xander Harris is their drummer and old high school chum, Cordelia Chase is the keyboardist and Angel's girlfriend, and Doyle Gallagher is the rhythm guitarist. Tara McClay sings back up and sometimes lead with Angel. Saving the best for last, my man Oz who plays bass of the best kind."



"Wow! Nice line up," Buffy nodded.



"Yes it is, everyone but Doyle went to the same high school. Doyle came into play since we all moved here to the City of Angels. He has this great Irish lilt that melts the girls hearts, almost as good as Spike's, who's not Irish but English." Willow continued as she directed Buffy over to the Band's table.



"Willow."



"Hey, Anya, this is Buffy, Buffy this is Anya, Xander's girlfriend and the band's assistant manager." Willow introduced them as she took a set and waved Buffy to sit down next to her. "Everyone here and on time?"



"Yes, Xander was almost late cause we were having alley sex, he always plays better after he gives me orgasms." Anya answered, with a happy smile on her face.



"TMI, Anya, TMI." Willow giggled.



"No, just not afraid to tell people me and Xander have sex and enjoy it." Anya shrugged.



"Can I get you guys something to drink?"



"Hi Amy, I'll take a coke please." Willow replied.



"Corona with lime for m, please," Buffy ordered



"JD and coke." Anya told the waitress.



"Be right back ladies." Amy said with a relaxed smile on her face.



Buffy watched as a tall man walked up on the stage carrying a microphone in his hand. He had a gentle look about him with his short brownish hair and heard Willow say, "That's Lorne he manages the club."



"Hello ladies and gents, Welcome to the Magic Box and as usual we have a full house tonight." Lorne greeted the crowd and waited for the hoots and shout outs to settle before he continued. "It is an honor for me to introduce the house favorite by far, who today found out they have a record contract with Magic Box Records, give it up for Angel's Redemption."



Buffy heard the crowd roar and could feel the loyalty they had for this band. She watched as the members come on stage and she was able to identify them by the instruments they played, courtesy of Willow's earlier descriptions.



"Oh God, don't tell me Spike took her skanky ass back." Anya moaned as she rolled her eyes as a brunette with a gothic like black dress with lace walk over toward them.



"Oh, shit, I hope not either." Willow sighed with a touch of annoyance added.



"Ladies, do you mind if I sit here and wait for my Spike?" The dark haired woman asked, giving Buffy a hard glare.



"I don't know, you see Spike's new girl is here tonight and I don't think he'd want you near her." Anya said.



"You are with Spike." She hissed as she leaned toward Buffy with a look of anger on her face.



"I would say it doesn't concern you who I'm here with, like none of your business." Buffy replied as she countered with a glare of her own.



"Well, it won't last long, he belongs to me, and in the end he always comes back to me." The stranger purred, "I'm the addiction he can't shake."



"Too bad he found just the rehab then for getting over women in black then." Buffy snorted as she turned her attention back to the stage only to end up meeting the lead guitarist's intense stare.



She felt like she had just found paradise. Nothing had prepared her for how handsome, beautiful, gorgeous, dreamy, and a few others words that came to mind to describe the hunk of man she was checking out on stage. He himself was looking at her as if he was devouring her, causing her heart to race.



"Dru please go and find another table please, I want to hear my Xander's percussion thank you very much. It's a lovely beat I love to picture us screwing too." Anya dismissed the woman with a wave of her hand. "And don't come back now ya hear."



"Bitches, the lot of you is bitches." Dru muttered as she turned and walked away.



"Care to tell me who Elvira was just now?" Buffy asked, "Especially since she thinks I'm Spike's new girl."



"That was queen loony tune Drusilla Barnes, Spike's crazy ex-girlfreak." Anya informed her with a look of disgust. "Sorry about the giving you to Spike for the night, but there was no way I was spending any time with that wacky chick if I could help it."



"I think Spike will get a laugh out of it." Willow added with a mischievous smile on her face.



"As long as she doesn't start stalking me and he knows I don't kiss on the first date." Buffy semi joked, thinking the ex girlfriend was a bit on the freaky side.



"Good evening everybody, welcome to the show." The tall brown haired man announced as the band began to play.



Buffy sat back and watched the show, enjoying the mix of music the band played. She recognized some of the covers songs they played, and enjoyed the ones that sounded to be their originals. The best part was watching Dru's ex boyfriend play some of the best guitar riffs she had seen on the club scene. Thinking to herself how it would feel to have is fingers play her body with the same passion he played his guitar.



Soon it was time for the bands first break of the night and they started to meander over to the table that was reserved for them. Buffy could see the interest they directed her way, some curious, others appraising her assets.



"Well, well Red, who do we have here?" Spike asked looking Buffy up and down with keen interest.



"Oh, she's your talisman girlfriend to ward off evil Dru according to Anya. But I know her as Buffy." Willow told him with a straight face.



"I thought I saw gothic girl earlier." Xander chuckled as he leaned in to kiss his girl.



"Hey, Buffy." Oz winked as he too kissed his girl's cheek.



"So, I have to say we should let Willow and Anya pick your dates more often." Angel said giving his cousin an unusually wide smile, "I think I would vote that we keep her."



"Funny, ha, bloody, ha." Spike rolled his eyes and left to go to the bar.



"Hi, I'm Cordy, this is Tara, Angel, Oz, Xander, Doyle, and the bad rude man is Spike." Cordelia introduced them all. "Don't mind Spike, he just went to get our drinks and he will be right back."



"Well that is if he can escape the claws of batty woman zooming in at 10 o'clock." Xander warned them.



"Buffy, I think you need to go save your man." Anya winked, "Xander is not lying about the claws so be careful."



Buffy noticed they all seemed to expect her to go and save Spike from his evil ex. She glanced over at the bar and noticed how the sexy meal on legs tensed when he noticed he was about to be pounced on.



"Well, here goes nothing, and Willow, honey, dear, sweetie, you owe me big time for this." Buffy smirked at her friend.



"My money is on the sexy little blonde, but why couldn't you have given her to me and not Rayne. I know more about how to treat a lady then that git does." Doyle spoke for the first time, and all Buffy could think of was that Willow was right his accent was sexy. Just not as sexy on the man she was about to save from the batty woman.



"But you are mine, mine." Dru was saying when Buffy approached the bar.



"Sorry, Miss Darkness no light, but the operative word is 'was yours'. The correct use of the sentence is he's mine now." Buffy sighed as she maneuvered herself between Spike and the crazy one.



"Leave us." Dru's voice was angry and sounded almost out of control.



"Not without my Spike." Buffy replied with a sweet smile on her face as she looked over at the bartender and read his nametag. "Excuse me, Bart, can you be a dear and have Amy bring our order over to the band table. I like to spend as much time with my man as I can. I mean you can never be too possessive, can you?"



"I love it when you get all cave woman over me, Goldilocks. It makes me feel so manly and wanted." Spike purred as he leaned in to kiss her neck.



"Well, just giving it back, baby." Buffy laughed, his lips tickled her skin.



"I got something I want to give you alright." Spike chuckled as he waggled his eyebrows.



"You sir are a scoundrel and a pervert." Buffy laughed, enjoying the flirting, even if it was just for show.



"This is your last chance Spike, I will leave and never come back, do you hear me?" Dru stomped trying to get his attention back on her.



"Did you hear something, baby?" Buffy asked as she took Spike's hand and led him back to their table.



Spike leaned in and whispered, "Can you really be my girlfriend for real?"



Buffy stopped suddenly and he moved up against her wrapping his arm around her waist. "Go out with me Sunday?"



"I not sure I want to get involved with you, something about you scares me." Buffy answered truthfully because her instincts were telling her, she could lose herself in this man.



"I promise not to bite and will keep my hands in full view at all times and I won't kiss you unless you let me." Spike promised.



"Where are we going?"



"Let's go to the zoo."



Buffy smiled as she agreed, "The zoo it is. What time?"



"What time is good for you?"



"Are you playing Saturday night?"



"Yeah."



"Then how about noon?"



"Sounds perfect, can you pack us a lunch, and I'll get the drinks."



"It's a date."



"I think I agree with Angel."



Buffy turned to look at him confused when he continued, "I think we will keep you."



Buffy laughed as he then turned the tables and led her back to the table. She noticed that Doyle had a scowl on his face, and realized he must have been interested in her as well.



"So nice bar show, more interesting than the floor show. I was waiting for the dramatic kiss and you taking her to the back to make her scream." Anya said being her normal blunt self.



"I had thought of it, but just not enough time left to give her the proper encouragement to scream my name." Spike chuckled as he sat down and pulled Buffy on his lap.



Buffy was uncomfortable at first until he kept his promise and acted like a real gentleman and kept his hands appropriately placed. Soon it was time for the band to return to the stage and she was shocked when he kissed her gently on the lips.



"For good luck." He whispered before he turned and walked away.



"Oh, I never even thought that you and Spike, man." Willow sounded amazed.



Anya looked over giving Buffy a wink, "Oh, I think they match perfectly. He needs someone like Buffy to keep his ass in line."



Buffy wondered about that comment later that night when she tried to go to sleep. She knew he was cocky, arrogant, but not in a bad way, but more in a confident kind of way. She couldn't wait for Sunday; it had been many years since she'd visited the zoo. It was the last thing she and her father ever done together when she was eight years old.

*end of flashback*

*******



Eric held open the door as Giles and Harris dragged their unconscious band mate into the room. Occasionally Rayne would moan and whisper Buffy's name, making Eric smile to himself.



Eric let the door close as he followed them in the room and said, "Don 't make him too comfortable and I will take it from here."



"Really, I can stay with him." Angel offered knowing Cordy would be pissed if he did, as he and Xander placed Spike on the bed.



"No, I will keep a check on him, don't worry." Eric refused, thinking it would be for the best if Spike woke up without friends for family, "I think he needs to worry a bit if he has crossed the line."



Angel walked over to the desk and picked up the hotel pen. He then wrote down his cell number on the Hotel stationary and handed it to the older man saying, "Call me when he wakes up and let me know how he's doing."



"I promise to do what I can for him." Eric promised as he whispered, "He seems to be such a tortured soul."



"Had more then his share of bad things happen to him." Was all Angel said, as he looked down at his cousin lying in the bed unaware they were discussing him. "His childhood before he came to live with us was not a good one."



"We all have our devils and demons to fight." Eric sighed, pulling out his cell and dialing a familiar number. "Lilah, I need a big favor."



"Yes, is any one free for a couple weeks until this tour is over?" He asked.



"Not for me, but for a friend actually. He needs immediate help until we can get him checked in for some intense counseling."



"Great, have them come to the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas on Monday."



"Yes, same code word as always."



"Thanks Lilah, I owe you for this." Eric said as he hung up his phone. "I will have someone on tour that possibly might be able to help our friend there with his problem. Then after the tour I will arrange for him to check himself in a clinic I know so he can clean up his act."



"I really don't know how to thank you." Angel replied as he reached his hand out to the older musician.



"It's really premature for thanks, he might refuse any help." Eric said as shook the grateful man's hand.



"I will kick his ass to Sunnyhell and back if he does." Xander replied firmly, feeling worried about this friend's condition.



"I need to go and figure out how I'm going to tell my parents, this is going to kill them." Angel sighed, knowing his parents loved Spike as if he was their own son.



"Don't tell them anything yet, let's see what he decides to do when he wakes up in the morning." Eric suggested as he walked over and gazed down at the very talented young man. "Both of you go on and get some rest, I think he won't wake up 'til morning, and I will have someone keep an eye on him."



Angel and Xander exchanged looks, feeling guilty of not staying with Spike. Eric realized they had never left him alone before and reassured them, "Waking up without friend or family, but alone, might work in our favor."



"Could be your right, Cordy always said I coddled him too much." Angel reluctantly agreed.



"Yeah, Anya said the same thing. She thinks we protect him too much." Xander sighed as he shook his head as he realized for the first time his girlfriend most likely had been right all along.



"Go home and get some rest, you won't find any answers tonight." Eric told them as he prayed the young man would realize someday how these people cared for him.



"Okay, call me if he needs me." Angel said as he hand Xander left the room leaving Spike alone to face the morning after alone, without them for the very first time.



*******

*Flashback*



Spike felt he was in the zone after doing the line of coke before coming out of the bathroom. It helped to get his creative artistic juices flowing that he needed to get when he played. It was something he felt he had control of, never believing he'd be like the other losers and let the drugs control him. It was something that Dru, his dark princess, had turned him on to during their time together.



He noticed Angel's concerned look before he hit the stage. Rayne knew his cousin would kill him if he knew he was back doing the powder again. Angel had become overprotective the moment he came to live with the Giles family ten years ago. Their mothers were sisters, one having married a wonderful man, where the other had married his bastard of a father.



He noticed Cordy roll her eyes while looking over at the table that was normally reserved for the band. He felt his zone leaving him when he noticed Dru approaching the table. He recognized Willow and Anya, but the other female didn't look familiar at all.



The moment he saw her face all thoughts of his dark princess flew out the window. The golden goddess that sat now facing off Dru was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. He watched every detail, as she seemed to be giving his ex the what for. Then she looked up at him and he was lost.



"She's the one." He whispered, before Tara came up and touched his arm with a worried look on her face.



"I'm okay, Glenda, just was worried what Dru was gonna do is all?" Spike lied as he played the opening riff to start the show after Peaches finished his little speech.



Spike continued to play, but his attention would occasionally drift over to the woman who caught his attention. He prayed she'd still be there when they finished this set. There was not way he could let her leave without getting her name and number. By the way she moved her head to the beat he could tell she like the music.



"Finally!" He thought when he finished the last song of the set.



"Wonder who the beauty is sitting with the girls?" Doyle asked as he walked behind Rayne off the stage.



"Don't know yet, but I will before I go to the bar." Spike told him with a cocky smile on his face.



"Maybe, but I bet she leaves with me." Doyle challenged.



"First off, mate, I'd never bet on a lady such as her." Spike winked as he hurried over to the table.



"Well, well Red, who do we have here?" Spike asked committing her features to memory.



"Oh, she's your talisman girlfriend to ward off evil Dru according to Anya. But I know her as Buffy." Willow told him with a straight face.



"I thought I saw gothic girl earlier." Xander chuckled as he leaned in to kiss his girl.



"Hey, Buffy." Oz winked as he too kissed his girl's cheek.



"So, I have to say we should let Willow and Anya pick your dates more often." Angel said giving his cousin an unusually wide smile, "I think I would vote that we keep her."



"Funny, ha, bloody, ha." Spike rolled his eyes deciding to keep his routine of going to the bar for everyone's drinks.



He should have known his caring loving friends would embarrass him in front of the one woman he'd want to impress. Then add Dru to the mix he would be amazed if Buffy would even walk on the same side of the street as him.



"Hey Spike, want the usual?" Bart asked as soon as Spike made it up to the bar.



"Thanks, mate, you're the best." Spike replied and was about to add a shot of JD for himself when he noticed a dark cloud approaching.



"There you are you bad rude boy." Dru purred, "You have been naughty and need to be punished."



"Dru, I told you before we're through, over. I think catching you and that slim Chaos Sanchez doing the rough and tumble in the bathroom was a sign from Hell we are over, done, finished. Dr. House MD couldn't revive our relationship." Spike's voice was hard and angry.



"He meant nothing, I just owed him money." Dru explained, "She will not understand you like I do. Your sunshine will run from your darkness, that's why you're mine."



"I don't need you and I don't belong to you." Spike snapped as he took the shot of JD and drank it down and chased it down with a swig of dark ale.



"But you are mine, mine." Dru hissed.



"Sorry, Miss Darkness no light, but the operative word is 'was yours'. The correct use of the sentence is he's mine now." Buffy sighed, startling Spike who almost choked on his ale.



"Leave us." Dru's voice was angry and sounded almost out of control.



"Not without my Spike." Buffy's voice was firm but polite with a sweet smile on her face.



Spike felt a thrill shoot through his body at her possessive voice and words, even if they weren't serious.



"Excuse me, Bart, can you be a dear and have Amy bring our order over to the band table. I like to spend as much time with my man as I can. I mean you can never be too possessive can you." His pretend girlfriend smiled sweetly at Bart when she explained what she wanted.



"I love it when you get all cave woman over me, Goldilocks. It makes me feel so manly and wanted." Spike purred as he leaned in to kiss her neck deciding it would be fun to play along.



"Well, just giving it back, baby." Buffy laughed, causing his heart to skip a beat.



"I got something I want to give you alright." Spike chuckled as he waggled his eyebrows loving how she blushed.



"You sir, are a scoundrel and a pervert." Buffy laughed, making him ask God or whoever was listening if this could be real.



"This is your last chance Spike, I will leave and never come back, do you hear me?" Dru stomped trying to get his attention back on her.



He decided he'd follow Buffy's lead, it's seemed she was much better at these things then him. Temper was a downfall for him, and had caused him more trouble in the past. The last thing he needed was doing or saying something that would cause this woman to turn away from him.



"Did you hear something, baby?" Buffy asked as she took Spike's hand and led him back to their table making him feel like pulling her back to kiss her.



Spike leaned over to whisper before he could stop himself, "Can you really be my girlfriend for real?"



He felt Buffy stop suddenly and he moved up against her, wrapping his left arm around her waist as he leaned down to ask. "Go out with me Sunday?"



"I not sure I want to get involved with you, something about you scares me." Buffy answered.



"I promise not to bite and will keep my hands in full view at all times and I won't kiss you unless you let me." Spike promised wanting to assure her the last thing he wanted was to hurt her.



"Where are we going?"



"Let's go to the zoo." He said the first place he thought would be a safe date place.



Buffy smiled as she agreed, "The zoo it is. What time?"



"What time is good for you?"



"Are you playing Saturday night?"



"Yeah."



"Then how about noon?"



"Sounds perfect, can you pack us a lunch, and I'll get the drinks."



"It's a date."



"I think I agree with Angel."



He noticed the confused look on her lovely face and clarified, "I think we will keep you."



Buffy's laugh made him smile as he then tuned the tables and led her back to the table. He noticed the scowl on Doyle's face, and realized he must have been interested in her as well.



"So nice bar show, more interesting than the floor show. I was waiting for the dramatic kiss and you to take her to the back and make her scream." Anya said being her normal blunt self.



"I had thought of it, but just not enough time left to give her the proper encouragement to scream my name." Spike chuckled as he sat down and pulled Buffy on his lap not ready to let her get too far away.



He could feel how tense she was and kept his promise and acted like a real gentleman. Kept his hands in view at all times and didn't rub her thigh like he itched to do. Soon it was time for the band to return to the stage and without thinking he leaned over and gently kissed her lips.



"For good luck." He whispered before he turned and walked away thinking that Sunday was not going to arrive soon enough for him.



Later that night as he stared at the ceiling he wondered what a women like Buffy could ever see in a loser such as him. His father had dropped him off at the airport after his mother's funeral and reminded him what a waste he was and because of him his mother was dead. That was ten years ago and he'd been the tender age of fourteen, and defined the word geek.

*end of flashback*

TBC
 

Chapter 3:

A/N: Spuffy goodness to keep you warm on Valentine's Day.


An irritating buzzing accompanied with pounding on the door woke her from a sound sleep. Voices calling her name, sounding worried and anxious brought Buffy out of her sleepy haze and back into her painful existence.

"Buffy, honey if you're in there please open the door, or just tell me to go to you know where." Willow yelled, sounding frantic.

"It's Hell, Wills." Faith snorted as she added her own voice, "Hey, 'B', get your fucking ass over here and open the goddamn door before I call the fire department to do the honors."

"Go to Hell, I don't want to talk about it." Buffy spoke loud enough for her friends to hear her as she walked closer toward the door.

"Tough shit, now open the damn door." Faith replied with that determined tone that told Buffy her co-workers and friends would not leave until she opened the door.

"Fine, take a look, see I'm alive and in need of being left alone time." Buffy laid down the rules before unlocking the door.

"Depends on what we see." Faith replied, knowing full well, she would not be leaving anytime soon.

"You're a bitch, Faith." Buffy mumbled as she unlocked the door and walked away without opening it.

Faith opened the door and entered as she was saying, "That's why you love me."

Willow walked in behind Faith and immediately moved over to stand in front of Buffy pointing to her face as she spoke, "This face, see this face, it's what Oz calls my serious face."

Buffy felt the tears building and as soon as she looked into her best friend's eyes the dam broke. She flung herself into Willow's arms and sobbed, all her hurt, anger, and pain being put on display.

"I'm going to kill the fucker." Faith hissed, as she moved to hug both her friends.

Faith and her husband Robin owned and operated the Grind. It was a nice restaurant, bar, with a dance club underneath. Willow worked the kitchen, while Buffy was the main bartender. Faith and Willow had taken Buffy under their wings when the petite blonde came to town almost 2 years ago.

Willow shook her head and said, "No, I'm going to kill him first."

"You can't, remember you're a mommy now, so no killings for you." Faith reminded her. "Seth does not need a axe murdering mother on death row."

"Neither does Robin need a wife in prison either." Willow snickered.

Faith smiled evilly as she shared her plan, "Then I guess we all kill him and be each other's alibi."

"Death is too good for him." Buffy whimpered. "This is the worst I have ever seen him, he's never talked to me the way he did."

"Buffy, it was the drugs talking, it makes you temporarily lose your soul." Willow explained her thoughts of what drugs and alcohol did to a person who abused it.

"Do you love him?" Faith asked.

Buffy felt the tears again threatening to fall as she answered. "God, yes. I love him so much it hurts to know I can't help him. I can't cure him. It's my mother all over again, and I can't live like that, not with him, I just can't sit back and watch him kill himself."

"I hear you, Buffy, and you know I will support you no matter what you decide to do." Willow reassured her.

"I will to a point, I like Spike, but I won't set back and let him keep hurting you like this." Faith decided she'd tell Buffy up front.

"I don't know what I'd do without you guys." Buffy sniffled as she let them lead her to the couch so she could tell them everything that happened last night.

*******

The first thing Spike noticed was the raging headache and sick feeling in his gut as he awakened. His mouth was so dry, and figured he must have tied one on last night. He knew he had hell to pay and that Buffy was going to royally kick his ass.

"Somebody call off the jackhammer convention playing in my head." Spike moaned as he reached out for his girl. "Buffy, baby."

"I don't think she can hear you." A strange, but familiar voice beckoned him to open his eyes.

"Where the bloody hell am I?" Spike asked as he sat up, only to immediately fall back down when the serious attack of the dizzies hit him. "Scratch that, what in Sam blazes happened to me?"

"Too much drink and too much blow." The voice replied nonchalantly.

"God, I don't remember much, where's Buffy?" He whispered, finding even talking in a normal voice made his head hurt worse.

"Here, take these and sip on the tea." The voice instructed him.

Spike squinted his eyes open and found the owner of the voice to be Mr. Stewart himself, who was handing him two white pills and a cup of what smelled of sweet tea. "What's this you're giving me?"

Eric laughed softly and said, "Now you ask, didn't much care what you were feeding your nose last night."

Spike felt himself becoming angry when he asked, "Just tell me where my girl is."

Eric took a deep breath to calm himself, keeping the smart comment that so wanted to pass his lips from being said. "You didn't act very gentlemanly toward her last night, and if not for the interference of your friends you would have had a nasty little surprise this morning."

Spike felt confused, the last thing he remembered was kissing Buffy before going to bar to get another beer. The pain in his head worsened as he tried to think of what he could have done to his girl.

"I don't understand?" Spike's voice was shaky and unsure as little things started to come back to him.

"You drank too much and found some coke and blew it. Buffy tried to get you to go home and you yelled at her and insulted her to the point she left in tears. Then you proceeded to do more drugs and put on a nice show for us with Harmony. I would recommend next time getting a room." Eric said evenly, and watched, as Spike's face grew pale as some of the memories came back to him.

"Oh God! I lost her for good now, she won't take me back." Spike moaned as he lay back down on the bed and let the tears flow. "I fucked up everything, all because of that bastard."

"That bastard?" Eric asked, curious who could have sent this young man so over the edge.

"My bastard of a father cornered me yesterday, had to remind me of a few unpleasant things." Spike whispered, "I proved he was right, I'm nothing but a loser, nothing."

Eric walked over and sat beside the young man noticing the anguish on his face. He could not believe that a parent could cause their child so much pain.

"Did you tell Buffy?" Eric asked, wondering if she'd understand the significance of the man's visit.

"No, she'd never understand." Spike reluctantly answered wanting to change the subject, not wanting to talk about Ethan Rayne.

"Did you tell Angel?"

"No, can't tell Peaches, don't need him getting in trouble going after me Da." Spike opened his eyes with an anxious look on his face, "Please don't tell Angel, he'd go and try and make things better and only get hurt."

"For now I won't tell him." Eric promised, but decided he'd find out what he could about Spike's father. "Now we need to talk about your problem."

"I don't have a problem, just over indulged is all." Spike defended himself.

Eric chuckled kindly as he gave the young man a knowing look, "Care to tell me again you have this under control."

"I do"

"You don't, it has got you by the balls, boy, and until you realize that and fight back it will take you to Hell." Eric leaned closer with determined look on his face. "I'm willing to help you before that happens, before you lose everything and never get your girl back."

Spike was ready to argue when a flash of Buffy's face contorted in pain made him stop. He couldn't remember what he said but whatever it was had broken her heart, thus now breaking his.

"Spike, I asked you a question last night that I want to ask you again, now that you're more or less sober. If you had to choose between love or money, which would you chose?"

Spike closed his eyes and tried to remember how he answered last night, but it wouldn't come to him. He knew how he wanted to answer the question, but was afraid of wishing for a miracle.

"Don't be afraid, search your heart for the answer." Eric encouraged him.

"Love, I would choose love." Spike whispered as Buffy's came to mind.

"Then get the help you need to get better, become clean and drug free. Do it for you, for her, for the both of you. I can help you if you let me. I have been where you are with the drugs, and it cost me more then you will ever know." Eric told him, hoping the young man would accept his help.

"How can you help me?" Spike asked as he looked up at the kind brown eyes that held no judgment.

"I made a call and someone will be meeting us in Vegas. This someone will be your constant companion and will help you fight the dragon. Once the tour is over there's a place I know that will help you work at staying sober." Eric said as he reached out and placed his hand on Spike's shoulder. "This place has helped me and a few other people I know, it can help you if you are ready to accept that you have a problem. Acceptance is the first step, the second is doing something to fix it."

"I'm afraid others will think I'm weak." Spike couldn't believe he was telling this man his deepest fear.

"We are weak before we are stronger. One day at a time, one step at a time is how we get our strength back." Eric offered his best advice. "How about I order us up some strong black coffee, while you go take a shower?"

"Sounds like a plan, but I need to make a call first." Spike answered, needing to hear his girl's voice.

"I will give you some privacy then and come back in say 30 minutes." Eric offered.

"Great, and thanks for doing this, I know it's hard to find a replacement act on such short notice and all." Spike said in the way thinking that was why he was doing this.

"It's not because of the tour, but the talent I see in you that I don't want to see wasted. I have seen to much waste in my lifetime. You. Mr. Rayne, have a raw talent I have not seen in a while, and you are worth saving no matter what you father may have told you, he was wrong." Eric explained himself before leaving the room.

Spike sat there in awe at the man's words. The guitar legend had seen something in him, something worth saving. He stood and walked over toward the phone, picked up the receiver and dialed a number that could prove that Mr. Stewart was wrong.

"Hello."

"Buffy?" Spike whispered, fighting the tears, "Baby, I'm so sorry and before you say anything I'm gonna get help this time, baby, professional help. I have a problem and I can't do it alone."

"Spike, I love you." Buffy said between sobs, "I want to help you, but I don't know if I can."

"I know baby, but promise to wait for me." Spike begged, "Let me have a chance to win you back, to show you what a good man I can be. I want to do this for me, for you, but most importantly for us, baby."

Buffy felt her heart lighten, thinking she might not have lost him like she had her mother. Maybe there was a chance he'd still chose her after all. "I promise to wait for you, Spike, but you will have to do some serious wooing, buddy, let me tell you."

"Baby I will woo you to the end of the world if I have too, it's you and me all the way." Spike said before he decided to tell her about his visitor yesterday. "He came to see me yesterday."

"Who came to see you?" Buffy asked, feeling a sudden fear come over her.

"Ethan."

"What did that bastard have to say?" Buffy hissed, "Baby you are so much better then him, don't let him drag you down."

"It hurt, what he said it hurt so bad and I don’t know why it does every time." Spike sighed, wishing she was there holding him.

"Where are you?" Buffy asked, "I'm coming to see you."

Spike looked over at the hotel stationary, "I'm at the Plaza, baby, room 1145."

"I'm on my way, code word, Slayer as always."

"Yeah, I'll call the front desk." Spike told her, feeling like he was being given a new lease on life. "I can't wait to see ya, Goldilocks."

"You do that and I'll bring you some clean clothes."

"Okay, then we will talk and then you can take me home and help me pack." Spike felt warmth in his heart that eased some of the pain his father's words had caused.

"Can I pack myself in your case?" She giggled, feeling hope again she'd have her man back.

"No, but I have something I'd like to pack inside you." Spike purred the innuendo and felt the effect in is groin.

Buffy snickered as she told him, "You are a bad, rude, crude, man that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I'm saying that so you keep that in your hat of incentives on getting help."

"I need you, always." Spike whispered, now more then ever.

"I'm on my way." Buffy replied, having gathered what she needed while she talked to him on the cordless phone with Faith and Willow helping her.

"I'm going to hang up now."

"I'm walking out the door as soon as you do." She said.

"See you soon."

"See you soon."

Buffy handed the phone to Faith and took the bag containing Spike's clothes from Willow and was about to walk out the door.

"So what did he say that won you over?" Faith asked, being curious what bleach boy could have promised Buffy.

"He is getting professional help, and he wants to do it for himself and for us. It's the first time he has come out and said it’s a problem and needs help. There is no way I will not support him in this." Buffy's tone alerted her friends it was a subject she'd not discuss right now. "I need to go, we still have to come back here and get him packed."

"I know where the cases are and will get them out." Willow offered.

"I will get a couple loads of darks done for you." Faith volunteered.

"I will call Oz to come and pick me up." Willow said as she shooed Buffy out the door, "Now off with you, we will do what we can here."

"Thanks, guys this does mean a lot to me." Buffy smiled as she thanked them before leaving and going to be with Spike.

*******

Spike sat in the hotel robe and drank the coffee, feeling better since getting a shower. The steam helped him to relax thus making the pain in his head lessen. Once he had mentioned that Buffy was coming, Eric had made all the arrangements making it possible for her to get up to the room without any complications.

"You are one lucky man to have her." Eric smiled, "Just like I'm a lucky man to have found another chance at starting a family."

"Yeah, she's a wonderful woman." Spike sighed, as he took another sip of coffee.

"Have you been eyeing my wife?" Eric laughed at how Spike almost choked on his coffee.

Spike sputtered trying to get his breathe back to deny the other man's accusation when he noticed the twinkle in the Eric's eye and sarcastically asked, "Are you trying to kill me, or you just like to see me spit out my coffee?"

"I like to see you spit out your coffee, it's so manly." Eric chuckled.

Spike couldn't believe he was sitting here in a bathrobe, talking to his idol as if this was an everyday accordance. "So happy I'm a source of entertainment for you."

"I talked to your cousin and he wants you to call him." Eric told him as he got up to leave. "I think I will give you some time to do that, he's very worried about you."

"He's always been worried about me, I guess I do that, make people worry about me." Spike's voice was shaky and insecure.

"It means they care about you."

"I care about them too even if I don't show it."

"You show it, but now where they can see it unless they are looking really hard." Angel said from the doorway. "Sorry, but I sort of slipped the extra key in my pocket."

"Sneaky bastard." Spike muttered as he stood and faced his cousin, watching as Eric gave him a reassuring smile before he left the room.

Angel walked slowly toward the bleached blonde pain in his ass, but wouldn't trade him for the world. "Hey."

"Hey, Peaches." Spike waited to see how Angel would act toward him.

Angel stopped when there were mere inches between them and said, "You scared the hell out of me, and pissed me off to the point I wanted to do you bodily harm."

"I'm sorry, you just don't know how sorry I am. You and Buffy are the last people I want to hurt." Spike whispered, as he looked up at the man he loved like a brother. "I do care about you, love you actually, but if you ever repeat that I'll tell everyone you wear lifts in your shoes."

Angel out right laughed as he pulled the smaller man in to a tight bear hug as reassure him, "I love you too, little brother."

Spike tried not to get emotional as he fought the tears. But when Angel called him brother he lost what control he had and started to cry. He knew he should tell him about Ethan's visit, but didn't want to ruin the moment by making his cousin angry. He was sure Angel would call his father, Rupert Giles, and they would go on a hunt for Ethan Rayne.

"What happened that made you get so fucking high." Angel asked as he backed away slightly, keeping his hands on Spike's shoulders. "What made you say those things to Buffy and then want a ho like that Harmony?"

Spike took a deep breath and was about to explain when it was interrupted by a knock at the door. All he could think of was being saved by what he hoped was Buffy's arrival.

"Don't get that." Angel said.

"It could be Buffy." Spike replied feeling relaxed at the huge smile on Angel's face.

"Then what the hell are you waiting for," Angel grinned, "I will go home and finish packing and call me when you get home."

"I'll do that mate." Spike promised as he moved to open the door.

"Don't forget to call the folks." Angel reminded him.

"Do they know about last night?" Spike asked, feeling a sudden sense of anxiety.

"No, and I won't tell them if you don't want me to." Angel reassured him, knowing Spike was overly worried about disappointing them.

"Thanks," Spike said right before he opened the door and got an arm full of Buffy.

"I think that's my clue to leave." Angel snickered as he watched Buffy drop her bag and jump into Spike' arms.

Spike drank in her scent, like a drowning man in water. The feel of her in his arms was like coming home from the war. A war he had yet to fight in full force yet. This morning was just a skirmish compared to the tougher battles that were yet to come. But with the love and understanding of this woman he was confident he'd win at the end.

Angel stopped beside them on the way out and leaned in to kiss Buffy's cheek, and then did the same on Spike's head and said before he left. "I love you both."

Spike heard the door shut as he continued to hold her close. They just stood for a few minutes and held each other tight. He prayed to who ever were in charge of destinies, to bring him back to this woman whole and deserving of her love.

"I dreamt about the night we first met." Buffy leaned back so she could see his face.

"I think I did too, not sure." Spike replied as he leaned in to kiss her lips softly.

The kiss took on a life of its own as Buffy untied the belt and opened his robe. She teased his tongue to follow hers back in to her mouth. Her hand drifted down and gently grasped his hard, leaking, member and started to stroke it in time with suckling his tongue.

Spike slipped his hand up under her skirt cupping silk cover mound, feeling her wetness through the thin panties. He felt his cock harden more as she moved against his hand, trying to get hi to massage faster. He couldn't wait any longer and ripped the little bit of nothing from her body and encouraged her to wrap her legs around his waist.

"Need you so bad, baby." Spike groaned as he felt her hand help position him at her entrance.

"You have me." Buffy gasped as he plunged deep inside her core mixing some pain with her pleasure.

Spike never heard her as he pulled out and thrust fully inside her again, getting lost as he found his zone. It had never felt so good as he pushed her up against the door and fucked her rougher then she was used to.

Buffy whimpered, when he pushed her up against the door and screwed her hard and fast with no thought if she was enjoying this or not. It scared her, for he had never been rough without making sure she was getting off on it as well. His lovemaking in the past had always been generous and sharing, not so centered on his own needs before.

"Yeah, baby, so good." Spike moaned in her ear as he continued pounding her against the door.

Buffy felt his body tense as he ejaculated inside her, making her feel left out in the cold. She made an attempt to lower her legs only to have him stop her and say, "Sorry, Luv, I got too carried away."

"Why?"

"I never thought I would have you again, baby, I told you I could get lost in you." Spike said and he grinded against her. "I'm not done until I make my girl feel how much I love her."

"Spike." She moaned as she felt him start to harden again inside her. "Make love to me, please."

"Baby, it's always love." He groaned as he pulled then away from the door and moved them over toward the bed.

"Oh, feels so good." Buffy said as she started to feel aroused as he moved inside her, hitting her special area that made her want more.

Spike growled as he laid her on the bed and slipped out of her warmth, only to drop to his knees and lavish attention to her clit with his tongue. Her moans and begging him for more drove him on like a newly made man, as he trust his tongue up inside her warm body. Bringing his thumb over to now rub her engorged nub, he made love to her until she screamed his name.

"No one makes me feel like you do, I could make love to you until the end of the world." Spike told her as he moved to lay on the bed and arranged them so she straddled his waist.

"More?" She asked as she felt him lift her up and place her over the tip of his cock, easing her down so she took him inside her velvety warmth slowly and erotically.

"Never enough." Spike whispered in awe as he watched himself disappear slowly up inside her sweet little quim. "Always fits me like a glove, you do."

"You were made for me." She groaned as she took him in, always loving when she got to play on top.

Spike's hands drifted up to cup her breasts, her nipples hard and sensitive to his touch, as he praised them, "Perfect baby, just the right jiggle with the wiggle."

Buffy laughed as she placed her hands on his chest to show how much wiggle and jiggle she could give him. She leaned forward just a bit so she could rub herself against him on her descent. She was close when he turned her over and was on top, pulling her back from the edge.

"Want to last longer." He panted, as he leaned his forehead against hers as he continued to lazily thrust in and out giving a little extra grind on the in motion.

He was making it up to her in spades for earlier at the door. The goal he had in mind was to make her cum before him, to make her see just how much he loved her. Sweat poured off him, as he fought to again lose himself and fuck her to the mattress.

"Cum for me, baby." He moaned as he alternated from kissing her lips and rubbing his nose against hers. "This is for you baby, for us."

Buffy found it hard to breath, let alone speak, feeling as if time was standing still. Her nails dug into his shoulders, as she bucked against him. She came so hard arching up and tightening her legs around him, causing her vaginal walls to squeeze him into his release.

Neither wanted the other to move, both comfortable with Spike lying on top of her with his forehead against hers. He leaned slightly on his elbow and forearms taking some of his weight off of her. Sharing soft kisses as their breathing returned to normal and all seemed all right in their little world.

"I don't think I can go." Spike said in between kissing and breathing. "I can't spend 24 hours away from you, how can I handle 3 months?"

"I feel the same way, but we know I can't quit my job." She said refusing for him to pay off her bills and support her.

"I know, baby." Spike said, feeling frustrated she kept refusing his help.

"I don't want you thinking I'm interested in your money." Buffy explained.

"What happens when we get married?" Spike asked, some of his frustration coming out in his tone.

Buffy brought her hands up cupping his face and said, "When you marry me then it's a whole different story, because then comes babies and I don't want to be a working mom or wife. I think you need to try this on your own, I'm there if you need me. You can't make me the crutch, baby. I want to be your lover, your friend, your wife, the mother of your children."

Spike realized what she was saying was true, that he had to stand on his own two feet to fight this. He could also understand her not giving up her independence of supporting her self until he proved he was the long haul guy in her life.

"I'm glad I have a smart woman that loves me." Spike smiled as he kissed her before he slipped out of her warmth and rolled over taking her with him to cuddle.

"I will only be a phone call away." Buffy said as she traced her finger around his chest. "One call and I'm on the next plane to where you are."

"I'll hold you to that." Spike sighed, "But I guess the faster we get home, get me packed the longer we have to do this."

"Do what?" Buffy teased.

"Make love, cuddle, talk, love and cuddle some more." Spike said as he pulled her closer to his side. "I know I still have a lot of wooing to go, Pet, and believe me this is just the beginning."

"Then what the hell are we still doing here?" Buffy giggled as she pushed him to get out of bed, "Quick, me wants more and want it soon, woo boy."

They dressed quickly and Spike left Eric a short note thanking him for everything. Also that he was looking forward to touring with him and would accept any advice in order to get clean and better himself.
 

Chapter 4:

Spike sat at the back of the plane, feeling like a ball of nerves. Everyone avoided him like the plague, except for Angel. Doyle glared at him with a look of disgust; even Tara wouldn't look him in the eyes.

The confident man left once he said goodbye to Buffy at the airport. He couldn't help but feel he was going to fail and as a result all he wanted was to ask someone to get him something in the alcohol nature to drink.

Eric walked back to check on the pale young man, recognizing the symptoms for what they were. The man needed a drink it was written all over his face while he watched a few of the others drink from their bottles of beer.

"We will be landing soon, and a Fred Burkle will be waiting for you at the hotel. I'm sure he will have something to help you with the withdrawal." Eric reassured him as he sat down next to him. "I see by the looks of things you have your girl back."

Spike smiled seemed a bit shaky as he replied, "Yeah, she's going to let me woo her back."

Eric chuckled as he said, "From the looks of things not much wooing will be needed."

"Yeah, what can I say, she loves me." Spike's smile grew steady as he thought about his Goldilocks.

"Did she want to come?" Eric asked

"No, she thinks this is something I should try without her at first." Spike explained wondering what the other man would think.

"She's pretty and smart too." Eric winked, "She wants you to start this on your own so you don't come to depend on her all the time."

Spike gave him a nervous looked as he said, "But what if I can't do it alone?"

Eric gave him an encouraging smile, "You are not alone, I'm sure she is just one phone call away."

Spike laughed, "Yeah, she said she would come if I called her."

The plane's PA dinged as the captain announced, "We are preparing to land in sunny Las Vegas. Please everyone buckle up and remain seated until the ride comes to a complete stop."

"I hate landing." Spike muttered.

"I know what you mean." Eric agreed as he belted himself in.

*******

"So, he's getting professional help this time?" Robin said with a look of contemplation on his face. "Man that's going to be hard with being on the road, and all the temptation being shoved under his nose."

"No pun intended right," Buffy, replied sarcastically to the 'shoved under the nose' comment.

Robin at first looked confused before he said, "Honestly, innocent play on words, no pun intended. I guess you don't know just how many ways your words could mean something else."

Buffy relaxed seeing that Robin really had not meant it as a bad thing. She continued to stock the bar and get ready for the lunch crowd that would be coming through the door at any minute.

"Hey, Buffy."

"Hi, Riley, how's studying coming along?" She asked, the young man who'd just finished his medical residency at UCLA and was studying for his boards.

"Long and difficult in a torturous kind of way, you could say." He sighed as he gave her a shy smile.

"Just think you will be a real doctor in the Army in 3 months traveling the world and saving lives." Buffy reminded him as she patted his hand, "So what will it be, the corn beef on rye, or the corn beef on rye?"

Riley chuckled as he looked at the blonde beauty before him, "I'll have the tuna melt instead. I think I'm ready to live life more on the edge these days."

Buffy rolled her eyes as she giggled, "Yeah, big chance there with the tuna, it could really be bad for you."

"So how is life treating you Summers?" He asked, watching as Robin walked back to the kitchen with his order.

"Oh, same ole, same ole." She said nonchalantly as she reached into a cooler to grab him his soda. "Are you on call, or is this your day off."

"I have clinic today at three, and then I'm the night green senior tonight and covering admissions from the ED."

"How do you do it, all these weird hours?" Buffy asked as she put his can of pop and a glass of ice in front of him.

Riley's smile was contagious as he replied, "It's hard, but it will be worth it when I have M.D. behind my name and I can make a difference."

"I'm glad there are people like you in the world that really does care about people like me." Buffy giggled.

"Here you go, one tuna melt with a side of fries and cold slaw." Willow chirped as she put the plate in front of the frequent customer.

Willow was sure that the tall blonde hunk came in to see Buffy. She was also aware that her friend and co-worker didn't have a clue about it. So many times, she wished she had introduced Buffy to Riley first; he was just what her friend needed. A nice clean-cut, focused, stable, man anyone would be proud to call a husband. Not, an insecure, troubled, unstable, unfocused, man that was draining her friend's spirit more and more.

"So where is Spike now?" Riley asked, wishing it would be his name instead of that asshole's putting that glow on her face.

"He should be landing in Vegas as we speak." Buffy sighed, remembering how they had made love all night, and him promising to come back to her a better man.

Willow noticed the way just hearing Spike's name made Buffy get all dreamy. It made her realize that even if Riley had came first in her life; Spike would have still been the one that stole her heart. It made her sad to think it would break Buffy's heart if Spike failed her again.

*******

By the time they got to the hotel Spike's body was aching all over and felt unable to relax. He started to worry he would not be able to find his zone and play his best tonight. The urge to walk over to the bar and order a beer and a shot was becoming stronger as they approached the check in counter.

"Spike, are you okay?" Angel asked, seeing how his cousin's eyes kept darting over toward the hotel bar.

"I'm not sure I can do this now." Spike's voice trembled as he answered truthfully. "I'm feeling like I'm losing it."

"Let's get checked in and find out if the doc is here." Angel tried to keep him focused, "I'm right here and not going to leave you."

Spike looked over and tried to smile, "I'm feeling all edgy and nervous. What if I can't play tonight?"

"Let's take one step at a time." Angel reassured him. "Together we can do this."

"I wish Buffy was here."

"I do too." Angel thought to himself, wishing she had come with them so Spike would not have to face this alone without her support.

"But it's for the best, I need to prove to her I mean what I said, earn her trust again before she jumps back in with both feet." Spike explained, knowing Angel wouldn't understand why Buffy refused to come with him.

"I understand." Angel agreed, seeing for the first time that maybe his cousin was going to find his inner strength to fight this and win.

"I'm scared I'm going to fail." Spike whispered, not wanting the others to overhear him.

"I would think that's normal." Angel said with a shrug, "It tells me that you want to succeed."

"Or I can see my future." Spike muttered, wondering what was taking so long for Anya to get them checked in.

"I believe in you." Angel firmly told his cousin, "I'm scared too, if you want to know. I'm scared that I won't be there for you when you need me. I'm scared that Cordy will find someone better then me and will leave me someday. I'm scared that one day I'm going to lose everything I've worked for. I find that what scares me makes me work harder to make it not so."

"God I need a shower, or something. I need to get away from here, it's like I can smell it calling to me." Spike sighed.

"Then let's get out of here." Angel smiled as he motioned for Cordy to call him with any updates, as he took Spike by the arm and led him out of the hotel. "Let's go check out the park across the street, Cordy will call us when we can check in."

*******

Eric answered the knock on his door, surprised to see the young woman standing before him. She was slender about 5'6" with long brown hair pulled up in a stylish bun, dressed in a pin stripped skirt suit. Her brown eyes were slightly hidden behind her dark brown-rimmed glasses.

"Mr. Stewart I presume." Her southern drawl told him she was American.

"Yes, and you are?" He smiled politely and hoped she was not who he thought she was.

"Hi, I'm Fred Burkle, Lilah Morgan sent me." She introduced herself as she reached out her hand.

"I don't mean to be rude, Miss Burkle, but I was expecting someone of the male gender." Eric said, trying to keep the uneasiness out of his voice.

"I know. I get that a lot." Fred answered with a soft understanding smile on her face as she reassured him, "But I'm very good at what I do."

"I'm sure you are, but I'm thinking my friend will benefit more with a male companion." Eric tried to delicately to explain he was not comfortable with her being here.

"I'm sure Miss Morgan can find a replacement in a few days. But can your friend handle being without some professional guidance until then." Fred politely said, feeling a bit angry that her ability to do her job was being questioned because she was a woman.

"Can you give me your room number, and I will call you when I can arrange for you two to meet." Eric compromised, so he could put a call into Lilah himself.

"Room 516, and I will wait for your call."

"Thank you, and as soon as he gets settled I will call you."

"Until then." She said as she turned to return to her room, prepared to accept that she was going to be replaced in a couple days.

Eric closed the door and pulled out his cell phone and dialed Lilah's office number. He was going do something he should have done that night and request Wesley Wyndam-Pryce to be sent to replace the young woman.

"Lilah Morgan."

"Lilah, sorry to trouble you." Eric greeted her.

"Eric, dear, no trouble. Did Fred make it?"

"You could have warned me that Fred was a woman." Eric said, with a slight reprimanding tone in his voice.

"But she is good at her job."

"That I have no doubt, or you wouldn't have sent her." He replied, "But I'm not so sure a female treating a male who's significant other is not present while on such an intimate tour would be in his best interests."

"Oh, so you are worried about sex." She sighed.

"No, well, I mean yes." Erie came right out and said, "I figured you would have sent Wes, since this is more his expertise."

"He's on family leave right now, his father is very sick." She explained, "or he would've been the one I sent."

"I just have a bad feeling about this." Eric sighed.

"Give her a chance, if you at all think things are not working out or you sense things are getting, how do you say, out of hand, then call me." Lilah suggested.

"So there's no one available right now is what you are saying."

"Yes, that's what I'm saying."

"I just hope neither of us comes to regret this." Eric warned her, deciding he'd keep a close eye on the two.

"I'm confident we won't." Lilah reassured him, "call me if a problem arises."

"Oh, believe me I will," Eric, promised before telling her good bye.

He picked up the hotel phone and dialed Angel's room, leaving a message for the young man to call him when he got in.

*******

Spike stood next to Angel in front of Mr. Stewart's door, praying this person he was about to meet had something for how he was feeling right now. The walk in the park had helped briefly, but the anxiety was back, and worse then before.

"God, Liam, I'm feeling like I'm about to crawl out of me skin." Spike's voice sounded shaky.

"I'm here with for you, William." Angel reassured him.

"Don't call me William."

"Don't call me Liam."

"What were they thinking?" Spike asked as he heard Angel knock on the door.

"Oh, that what fun it would be to have both of us named William in some form or fashion. We could ask my mom when we talk to her again." Angel chuckled.

Spike's rebuttal was interrupted when the door opened and they were invited in. The first thing he noticed was the pretty little bird in a suit and glasses looking at them in a clinical kind of fashion. He looked around to see if anyone else was about, hoping this little bit of woman was not the one who is supposed to help him with his problem.

Fred felt her heart skip a beat when she noticed Spike Rayne enter the room. The symptoms were easy to recognize just by looking at him, as she realized Spike was the friend that needed help. She'd become an instant fan of his from the first time she saw his face on the back of the 'Soul Catcher' CD. A many lonely nights since then she had dreamed about him being hers.

Keeping control, not letting anyone see how much he affected her was the goal. This was a dream come true and there was no way anyone was going to send her away. A plan formulated in her mind on how she was going to make it happen. The first object was to make it so he didn't want anyone else to help him, but her.

"Miss Burkle, allow me to introduce you to Angel Giles and his cousin Spike Rayne." Eric watched her very closely and was pleased to see she didn't appear to recognize either of them or seem affected in an unprofessional manner.

"Please call me Fred." She smiled appropriately, as she first shook hands with Angel and made sure to give Spike equal attention.

"Then call me Angel." He said, wondering how this was going to work, feeling very uneasy about this set up.

"That makes me Spike." He joked, keeping his sweaty shaking hands buried deep in his pockets as he rocked back and forth on his feet.

She worked very hard to appraise his manner in a professional manner and say, "I take it, you are my client, Mr. Rayne."

Spike shot a nervous look over at Eric for reassurance that she was who was to help him with his addictions. If his mentor vouched for her then he was okay with it. He trusted the man's opinion.

"She comes highly recommended." Eric reassured him and also offered, "But if any point you feel uncomfortable then let me know."

Fred felt a flush of anger and was proud of herself for not letting it slip past her professional facade. There was no way anyone was going to take this opportunity away from her. He would be hers, and no one was going to stand in her way, not even Spike himself.

"Then is there anything you can do for me before the concert tonight?" Spike asked, hoping this was going to work out for the best.

"Yes, I have some things we can try, but first I need to do a little mini physical and draw some blood. I will take it to a lab that is going to process it for me and let me know the results. So if you care to have a seat we can get started." Fred explained in a brisk, calm, and professional manner that put two of the men at ease.

Spike heard mini physical and asked with a tremor in his voice. "I don't have to undress or such do I?"

"No." She said with no hesitation or a hint of the disappointment she felt.

"Good! Sorry, no bird is going to see me naked but Buffy." Spike voiced out loud, unaware he had.

Fred prided herself on not reacting to his mentioning another woman, or asking whom the woman was and how she fit into Spike's life. She was sure she would be able to find out what she needed to know during their sessions, making it look like she was only interested for clinical purposes only.

"Spike, why don't you have a seat over here and let me examine you? Then I can get a detailed medical history so I know in which direction we need to go for your treatment. Once we have that established I will obtain the specimens I need and then run them to the lab." Fred listed the things they needed to do to get things started.

Spike reluctantly walked over toward her, and felt at ease when Angel followed close behind. His relief was short lived when the doctor gave Angel a patient look and say, "I'm sorry, but you will have to step out during this time, patient confidentiality is a big issue for me."

"He can stay." Spike rushed to keep his cousin close at hand. "I want him to stay."

"Fine, I will keep the questions to medical and not personal until we have established some rules." Fred replied, cursing the fact the man had family she was going to have to deal with as well.

"On that note, I will go and see how things are progressing at the arena." Eric said, deciding it was best he gave them some privacy, "Ring me if you need anything."

"We will." Angel acknowledged while he kept his eyes on what was going on between Spike and this doctor.

Spike watched as she put a blood pressure cuff around his arm and pumped it up. He closed his eyes to avoid looking at the peek of cleavage her bending over gave. After the cuff deflated and she wrote down some numbers she placed the stethoscope on his chest and looked at the watch for a few minutes and then wrote down some more numbers.

"Your blood pressure is borderline high, and your heart rate is faster then it should be as well. Tell me how you've been feeling." Fred told him as she pulled out some official looking documents.

Spike looked at Angel who gave him a reassuring smile before he replied, "I'm constantly thirsty, hands sweaty, heart racing, feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin."

"All signs that you're starting to go through withdrawals." She explained matter of fact like, keeping her emotions out of sight. "After I get more of your medical background I can give you something to help ease those symptoms."

"What can you give him?" Angel asked, wanting to be involved in his cousin's care. His parents would kill him if anything happened to Spike.

"I will know more after I get some information that I need." Fred smiled softly, pretending she appreciated the man's interest in her plan of treatment. "Now the sooner we get started the faster I can prescribe something to help you feel better."

Spike took a deep cleansing breath and said, "Then ask away."

The question and answer session took the total of twenty minutes before she had a plan formulated in her head. She reached down and picked up her satchel that contained some of the medications she planned to use. Later she would make a trip to get what she really needed.

She pulled out a vial of medication and a syringe and started to share her treatment plan, "First I'm going to give you an injection of Ativan. It's a medicine used to help calm your nerves and relax. The reason for the shot is so it can get into your system quicker, and keep you from going into a condition known as delirium tremors, or more known as DT's."

Spike's eyes grew large as he watched her approach him with the needle and asked, "Sure about the shot, are you?"

"Yes, I am." She said before she asked, "I could give it in your arm, but it will hurt worse there since the medication is so thick, or I can give it to you in your backside. Which do you prefer?"

"Here!" Spike quickly said as he pushed up the sleeve of his tee shirt.

Hiding her disappointment another idea came to her as she asked, "Do you play an instrument?"

"Lead guitar."

"It could make it difficult for you to play due to the irritation to the muscle." She advised, hoping he'd change his mind.

"Peaches, do you mind looking the other way." Spike said as he stood up to unbuckle his jeans.

Angel quickly looked the other way while Spike turned his back to the doctor as he loosened his jeans. He felt her softly moved a portion of his pants down to uncover his hip.

"First it will feel cold as I clean the skin." Fred explained as she fought the urged to push the jeans lower. "Now, just take a deep breath."

Spike felt the prick of the needle and the harsh burn as the medication was injected in to the muscle. He could tell she had been right; it would have affected his playing if he 'd taken the shot in his arm.

Fred wiped the area again before applying a bandaide over the injection site. She had given him a smidgen over the recommend dosage, enough to sedate him more, but not enough to cause him any harm. Just as long he wasn't allergic to the medication.

She quickly averted her eyes to keep from watching him pull his pants back up and refasten them. Her panties were wet, from wanting him so bad, and she couldn't wait for the next step of her plan to be implemented. For that to happen she had to get him in his room and alone.

"I suggest you return to your room, take a nice hot shower and try and get some rest." She told him as she put her materials away and planned on how she would join him without anyone knowing about it.

"What about for tonight?" He asked, having remained standing since the medication was still burning his backside.

"I will give you something mild before the show that shouldn't interfere with your playing. Then tomorrow we can work on some relaxation therapy talking about your problems with your substance abuse."

"Okay, so back to my room." Spike sighed.

"And rest, no TV, no talking, no phone calls, which one would assume would be covered under the talking, just lay in the bed and rest." Fred firmly instructed him all the while thinking, "Rest until I get there and then I will work my magic and make you feel so much better."

"Okay, Peaches, care to escort me back to my room." Spike teased his cousin, knowing the poof was too quiet for his taste.

"Can I tuck you in and read you a bed time story for old time's sake?" Angel delivered with a serious expression.

"No, you tell bad stories that scare young impressionable boys like me." Spike pouted, as he followed his cousin toward the door.

Fred knew he needed to know how to contact her, so she said before they left the room, "Call me if you have any concerns, I'm staying in room 516."

"How funny, I'm in 518, and Angel here is in 508." Spike replied before they left.

Fred quickly gathered her things so she could hurry to her room. The sexual frustration was too much to handle and she needed some relief. She made sure the door closed completely behind her and locked before she headed to her room.

Her body pushed the door closed as she leaned against it dropping everything on the floor. Her hands quickly lifted her skirt as she bit her lip wanting to leave and knock on the door of 518. So close and yet still too far away. She moaned as her fingers moved her panties aside and started to rub her erected nub. Never could she remember being so horny and wet as she used her free hand to undo her jacket so she could massage her breast as she continued to get herself off.

"Spike eat me, baby." She whimpered. "Yeah, baby, that tongue, so long, fuck me with it, just like that."

She pictured in her mind his face between her legs, his tongue doing all nice and wonderful nasty things to make her want him. The intensity of her orgasm hit so hard she could no longer stand as she slid to the floor.

"Oh, Lord, if it's that good to dream about, think how perfect the real thing must feel like." She moaned licking her lips as she stood slowly and straightened her clothes. She had things to prepare for the next step of making Spike Rayne hers.
 

Chapter 5:

"Buffy it's for you." Faith yelled from the office.

Buffy looked at her watch and frowned at the time. She had figured Spike would have called before, and thinking to herself it had better be him on the phone. It was hard not to notice how anxious he was before boarding the plane.

"This is Summers." She greeted whoever was on the phone while noticing Faith's pissed off expression.

"Baby, before you say anything I'm sort of drugged up, but by the doctor, Doctor Fred ordered me medication to help my drawls from withholding or some rot." Spike slurred, the medication having kicked in after the shower. "But I had to hear my girl's voice before I take my nappy."

"What did the doctor give you?" Buffy asked, wondering if she should believe him.

"Ativan in a needle, it hurt like a bitch. My bum is still killing me." Spike tried to explain, "something about Deleriichms or tremors to stop them or so forth an such."

"To prevent you from having delirium tremors," Buffy clarified, knowing all about them from dealing with her mother.

"Yeah, that's it, my girl is so smart. Don't know why she puts up with the likes of me." Spike mumbled.

"Cause she loves you and there's nothing wrong with the likes of you when you are not drunk or high off your ass." Buffy told him and glared at Faith when the girl snorted and rolled her eyes.

"Wait for me, baby." Spike whispered before he passed out.

She could hear him snoring and said with a gentle smile on her face, "I love you too, and sweet dreams, baby."

Faith leaned back in the chair as she watched her friend and employee hang up the phone. "So, what's the jerk on now?"

"For your information the doctor gave him something to help him relax and keep him from getting the DT's. I know he was a bit shaky when they left this morning." Buffy said, with a touch of doubt in her voice. "He said the right words, but I just don't know if I can trust him."

"He was too sugary sweet so I go with the legal happy drugs if you ask me." Faith winked as she returned to her paper work.

"Yeah, you're right he was too sugary sweet and didn't once mention sex." Buffy laughed, agreeing with Faith's assessment.

*******

Fred used the key card she'd had one of the employee's make for her at a hefty price. Once she heard the click of the lock, she quickly opened the door and slipped into his room. For the next hour, she would work her magic of implanting fantasies of her in his subconscious. The drug would help by making him believe her visit was only a dream.

She let her sundress fall to the floor revealing her nudity as she approached his bed. There he was spread out before her like a feast. Lying on his back sleeping soundly, with only the hotel robe barely covering him. There nestled in brownish blonde curls lay his semi erect member. She pushed the robe further apart so she could fully appreciate his spectacular body as she straddled his waist.

"Mine, all mine." She whispered, letting her fingers trace his chest, paying close attention to his nipples as she rubbed her wet heat against his lower abdomen.

"That's it, honey, let them pucker up for me." She moaned as the twin nubs responded as if to her command.

Her eyes traveled as she slid across his thighs, looking down at his groin, smiling at how his lovely little cock seemed to like her touch as well. She let her hands drift down to his stomach, letting her fingers move along the well-formed six-pack now sticky where she had been.

"I bet they come in handy when you're fucking the ladies. No more fucking anyone but me, from now on. Me, Spike do you hear me, I mean no one." She leaned down to whisper in his ear as she laid down on top of him, enjoying the feel of skin against skin.

Fred found his lips irresistible as she gently licked them, feeling a rush of moisture between her legs when he made no resistance when she slipped her tongue into his mouth. Her heart started to race when his tongue started to respond her.

She broke the kiss as her lips trailed down over his chin to his chest. She took in one nipple as she worried the other with her fingers, feeling powerful when she heard him moan in pleasure. Not wanting to slight his other nub, she switched. She suckled more firmly this time as she pinched the other, causing his cock to harden even more.

By the look on his face, she could tell he was enjoying the exploration of his body, but was still under the influence of the drug. Using her tongue, she traced down to his navel and explored its creases before continuing down his hip. The temptation to bite him was strong, but she kept enough sense not to. No evidence of her being here could she leave at this time. But in the future there would be no holding back in marking him as her property.

"I could suck you dry." She moaned taking his leaking cock into her warm hand.

She started to firmly stroke up and down, fascinated with watching more cum leak out of the tip. It dripped down along the side, allowing her hand to slide easier along its length. She could no longer deny the urge to taste him, as her tongue licked him from base to tip. His girth stretched her lips as she took him in as far as she could without gagging, trying to get her muscles to relax so she could take him further down her throat.

"Oh god, yes." Spike moaned, his speech slurred as he began to fuck her mouth.

Fred started to hum as she found rhythm with his thrusts, waiting for the right time to change her position. Just when his grinding became erratic, she released his throbbing cock out of her mouth causing him to whimper not to stop.

"Don't stop, Buffy, don't stop." He moaned, causing her to growl her discontent as she moved up his body.

"No, Buffy, dream of me, dream of Fred. Buffy doesn't love you, like I do." Fred hissed as she lowered herself unto his erection. "She only wants you when you're good. Buffy is a bitch that thinks she is so much better then you. She will only hold you back. You don't love her."

She watched closely for any sign the drug was wearing off as she lifted up and thrust back down reveling in how big his cock was. The urge again to mark him was hard to hold back, as she pictured herself scratching and biting his chest.

"Oh, Spike, baby, fuck me." She begged as she took his hands and placed them on her breasts. "Feel me, squeeze my tits, baby. Yeah just like that, harder, baby harder." She chanted, continuing to ride him hard and rough.

Breathing became faster and harsh, as she grew closer to the edge. The look on his face was pure bliss as she squeezed her vaginal walls wanting to take him with her when she came.

"Cum for me Spike, baby, I want to feel it shoot up inside me, not Buffy, but me, Fred. Say my name baby, say it when you cum." Fred begged as she felt her orgasm over take her.

She felt triumphant when she heard him say her name as he came thus reassuring her that the first phase of making him hers was complete. He should remember this moment as if it was a dream, having him think it was his idea of being attracted to her. She gently rocked back and forth not wanting it to end, but she knew the drugs would soon be wearing off.

"I miss you, honey." She murmured in his ear as she lifted her hips and felt him slip out of her, feeling empty without him filling her. "No one loves you like me. No one can help you but me. Buffy is nothing, she doesn't love you and never did, she's using you."

Fred reluctantly left his bed and quickly got dressed, before going to the bathroom and grabbing the washcloth he had used in the shower. She warmed it up in the sink before going and washing him up, not wanting him waking up and wondering what had happed.

His cock came back to life as she cleaned him, giving her an idea. She pulled the blanket up over him leaving her hand under the blanket to get him off. It would cover the smell of sex, and if her words sunk in his subconscious, he'd think he had a wet dream about her.

"Oh, Spike, yes baby. Make your Fred scream." She moaned in his ear as she started to move her hand faster.

"Fred!" Spike whimpered, as his hips worked with her touch.

"I’m yours baby, cum for me." Fred demanded, as she grasped the throbbing flesh tighter, while rubbing her thumb across the leaking head on the upstroke.

"Fred, come, yeah!" He called out as he came all over the top sheet and in her hand.

"That's my man." She purred in his ears as she fondled him till he was soft and flaccid again. "Who loves you?"

"You do." He mumbled, with his eyes closed and oblivious to the reality around him.

Before slipping her hand away to clean it, she took his left hand, and spread the semen around his appendage, before placing it on his groin underneath the blankets. Once she knew he was not going to wake up she licked his spending off her hand and fingers.

"You taste so good, honey, and I can't wait to taste all of you." She complimented him, as she quickly made sure she had everything before slipping out of his room undetected.

Once she made it to her room, she leaned against the door with her hands cradling her lower abdomen. She prayed they had created a miracle today. The thought that she could be now carrying her lover's baby brought tears of happiness to her eyes.

*******

Spike felt groggy as a persistent ringing kept coming from somewhere. Slowly he realized it was his phone and tried to reach it with his left hand and stopped when he noticed the sticky textured substance all over it. Suddenly the ringing stopped.

"What the Hell?" He mumbled as he lifted his sheet and noticed the little mess he made while he was sleeping.

Spike fell back and closed his eyes, as he remembered having a sex dream about his new therapist. He felt like he was reliving his teenage years, before the dyed hair and bad boy persona came to play. As William, he had a lot of wet dreams, and a personal hand on dick relationship with himself.

The sudden pounding on his door brought him out of his trip down bad memory lane of his life as William. He used the sheet to wipe his hand and groin, reminding himself to have housekeeping change his bedding. Upon standing he felt a little dizzy and took a moment before walking over to open this door.

Angel's voice sounded anxious as he yelled through the door, "Spike, open up the door."

"Hold your horses, Peaches." Spike tried to yell back, but his mouth was dry and his throat scratchy.

"Well, it's about time Sleeping Beauty." Angel snickered, when his cousin opened the door taking in his cousin's bed hair.

"Well, I've been waiting for my Prince to come and kiss me awake." Spike snorted, giving his cousin a mocking glare.

"It's time to get ready and grab something to eat before heading out to the gig." Angel said, hoping Spike would join them.

"Not sure I'm up for the group ignore Spike hour yet." Spike sighed; knowing the only one that would talk to him was Angel.

"How about you shower, I grab my stuff and we eat together." Angel offered wanting to make sure his cousin knew he was behind him all the way.

"You sure Cordy won't get pissed?" Spike asked, not wanting to cause Angel and his woman any problems.

"No, in fact she suggested it." Angel replied. "She understands that I will be spending as much time with you as you need. She also wants me to tell you that once you are ready she wants for you and her to have a nice sit down talk."

Spike rolled his eyes and sarcastically said, "Oh, Princess wants to talk to me."

"Spike, she loves you like family, and she knows her limitations. She doesn't want to let her anger make her say something she would regret or hurt you." Angel explained. "You should have seen her when I told her you were getting professional help, she about did the jig saying, "Thank God, I don't want to lose him"."

"And the others?" Spike asked carefully, but the insecurity was in his voice.

"Xander is being the obedient boyfriend since Anya thinks we should not coddle you any longer. Tara is giving you time to let the seriousness sink in before approaching you. Oz is just Oz, sitting back and assessing things. Doyle, he doesn't count right now." Angel told him the G rated version of the opinions the others had voiced earlier.

When in fact Anya wanted to confront Spike with a contract that if he were caught using again he'd be forced to leave the band. She was all for the tough love program and making him accountable for his actions. Xander, being scared he'd do or say the wrong thing wasn't comfortable talking to Spike at the moment.

Tara who's background included studying to be a psychologist a few years back, felt they should have canceled the tour and got Spike into inpatient rehab. Doyle had agreed with Tara, stating how hard getting clean the first time was always the roughest, too much temptation on the road for some virgin rehabber.

"Just you and me?" Spike asked.

"Just you and me!" Angel reaffirmed.

"Okay, room service or downstairs?" Spike asked, hoping he'd pick room service.

"How about I order pizza, wings, and some sodas to be delivered?" Angel answered the question with a question, wanting to give Spike the power of making the decision.

"You know me, I'm a wing man." Spike chuckled.

"Then you get ready and I will order and meet you back in, say 20." Angel said with a relaxed smile on his face, feeling hopeful he'd get his cousin back in one piece after this.

"It's a date." Spike agreed, as he shut the door so he could go and get a shower.

He still felt spooked concerning the dream he had about having sex with his doctor, and waking up and finding it had made him cum in his sleep. It also scared him the thoughts floating around his brain telling him that Buffy didn't love him, that she was using him.

"It's not true, she loves me." He mumbled, trying to tune out his little voice saying, "If she loves you so much why ain't she here? She only wants to be with you when it's good."

Spike quickly stopped his thoughts from getting anymore darker concerning his Goldilocks as he gathered his things to go take his third shower of the day.

*******

Fred waited until Angel had walked away and Spike had closed his door before closing hers. She just returned from her little trip, picking up the things she would need to further help Spike get better and realize she was the one for him.

Hearing and seeing the closeness between the two men made her realize she'd have to be very careful. She also knew that she'd have to make sure that Spike depended more on her and less on any of the others if her plan were to work.

She had some time to work out a plan that would make all her dreams come true. In time, she was sure his family would come to love and appreciate her, but for now she had to concentrate on her man and making him better. She walked over and emptied out her purchases. Looking at the different drugs at her disposal both legal and not.

"Tonight, my love, your fantasies will become reality." Fred closed her eyes and dreamed of him telling her he loved her and asking her to marry him. "Yes, there is nothing that would make me happier then becoming your wife.

*******

Buffy stood behind the bar and listened to the men shout over the music. She had decided to pull a double shift since Warren had called off ill. The real reason was she didn't like going back to the empty apartment; it reminded her she was Spikeless for the next 2 months.

They had agreed to call each other every other day. His call this afternoon had made her want to drop everything and go to him, be there to hold his hand. Then the rational Buffy would take over and tell the other Buffy how wrong that would be. He needed to stand on his own two feet and stop the madness, her holding his hand would only set him up to fail later on.

"Hey, gorgeous, you and me have a date with destiny." A tall blonde southerner yelled at her over the bar.

"Yeah, I know, so what destiny are you drinking?" Buffy asked sarcastically, with a smirk on her face.

"I would love to drink you, I bet you taste like honey and spice and everything nice." He flirted, giving her a look that told her he wanted her.

She laughed, as she honestly told him, "Sorry, Buffy on tap is by special order by only one man, and I'm not sorry to say, you're not him."

"But baby, we could be so good together." He pleaded.

"Nope, not interested, now what are you drinking for real, or move on to the next subject that does not openly talk about me and you." She said, as she gave him a pointed look.
"Well, Lindsay old buddy, looks like the little filly has shot you down."

"Shut up Caleb. I have all night to win her heart." Lindsey said as he gave her a wink and added, "I'll take whatever the house has on tap."

"Great choice on drinkage, but the communication line to winning my heart in permanently on hold." Buffy again told the man she was not interested.

"Hi Honey, do you think will be coming home on time?" Riley smiled at Buffy, hoping she played along.

"Hi Honey, I'm sure I will be home on time, just like every time." She replied trying not to laugh at the other man's look of disappointment on his face at seeing Riley.

"Hot damn, boy you been shot, kicked, and hung." Caleb laughed as he patted his friend on the back.

Buffy kept a straight face as she handed the man his beer and took his money. She would wait until later to thank Riley for stepping in and cooling the other man's heels. The mood to deal with hard headed men that didn't now the meaning of no, irked her to no end.

"Keep the change sweetheart." Lindsey sighed as he and his friend turned to mingle with the rest of the crowd.

"Thanks, I had a feeling he was not going to stop." Buffy said with a relieved smile on her face.

"No problem, was more than happy to be of assistance, Miss Summers." Riley winked, as he took a seat at the bar.

"What's got you out on a school night?" She asked, having never seen him come down to the club, only up to the bar.

"Celebrating one of my colleagues birthday, she turned 25." Riley chuckled, wishing he could find the courage to ask Buffy out on a date.

"Cool, bring the next order to me, my treat." Buffy winked as she turned to the next customer to get their order.

Riley watched her gracefully handle the large orders never breaking her smile. Something told him that Spike didn't deserve her that he had no idea what a treasure he had in Buffy. He'd heard about the man's problem with substance abuse, and he believed the man probably wasn't faithful either. With all the half dressed, young females willing to jump at the opportunity to sleep with a rock star hanging around. He thought there was no way that Spike wasn't sampling the merchandise.

"Hey, Riley, come back to the party." Samantha the birthday girl yelled in his ear.

Riley startled, and glared at his fellow resident and said, "That is not funny."

Sam laughed as she whispered, "So, she's the one that has you all hot and bothered?"

"Stop, right there." Riley warned her.

"Don't fret, I won't tell her a thing, promise. But why the hell won't you ask her out?"

"If you had to choose me over Spike Rayne, the new up and coming Rock God, who would you pick?" Riley asked.

Sam had a look of awe on her face, "She's dating Spike, the lead hottie of Angel's Redemption?"

Riley sighed as he rolled his eyes and shook his head yes, getting his answer from the girl's reaction.

"Damn, she's one lucky lady, he's a hunk of man, not saying your chopped meat." Sam tried to explain. "You represent the man we want to marry, have a family with, where Spike is the bad boy to sow your wild oats with and have a hot little memory. So I say set back and wait and you will have your time in the Buffy sunshine, cause her current boyfriend just might not be the long haul guy for her."

Riley leaned back and realized she might just be right. He had another couple of months before he had to report to Virginia. Come the end of July his residency would be over, and then come the beginning of September his life would belong to the US of A. He would just sit back and bide his time and see where things settled, if nothing else he and Buffy could come out of this very good friends, or something more.

"Sam, I think I will sit back and see what happens, but so far back she forgets I'm here." Riley winked, as he waved Buffy over so he could put in that drink order.

*******

Spike sat on the couch waiting for the 'mothers little helper' to help him calm down and not feel so anxious. He apologized for barking at Tara earlier, when she had approached him to say hi. Now everyone, including Angel had kept their distance from him, causing him to think they wanted nothing to do with him.

Fred sat back and watched her web of deceit spread. She had quietly spoke with the major supporting members, Angel, Cordy, and Tara, to explain they needed to not pressure Spike right now and give him some space to find his way of dealing with his weakness.

She could see how difficult it was for the brooding Giles boy to keep his distance from his cousin. The bond between the two young men was strong, but felt the one developing between her and Spike would over power it in the end. She notice that Angel and his girlfriend were having a heated discussion and wondered what it was concerning.

"I can't just stand here, it's not right." Angel said between clenched teeth.

"You heard what the doctor said." Cordy replied, defensively.

"It's not the way family should treat family, it's not how we were taught." Angel explained, knowing his mother would be bitching up a storm if anyone told her she couldn't be around her William right now.

"But, the nutty professor says it's for the best right now." Cordy said, trying to get Angel to think outside the box, "The family thing wasn't working before."

"Because I was stupid, and kept Mom and Dad in the dark about Spike's problems." Angel sighed, knowing his parents would be disappointed in both their boys over this.

"Then call them, get them involved." Cordy encouraged him, thinking it would be best if Jenny was here, that woman had a way with Spike no one else did.

"The nutty professor said that would be wrong, since Spike doesn't want them to know." Angel growled, "I will talk to Spike about it myself, or Eric maybe. She's just wanting to cut him off from me and I don't like it."

"Then let's talk to Eric about it tonight after the show." Cordy said as she took his hands in hers. "We will do everything in our power to get our William back. He can Spike himself up and down, but both of us know the real man behind that front he likes to perform."

"I love you, baby and I don't know if I could have handled this without you." He told her as he leaned in to kiss her softly.

"I'm with you no matter what, I will fight right beside you to get him back." Cordy promised as she hugged her man close.

Fred let the breath she had been holding go. She was worried that Angel was about to walk over and make contact with Spike, something she wanted to avoid as much as possible. It would ruin her plan of getting him dependent on her, if the idiot cousin kept interfering.

Xander, having not had the don't talk to Spike lecture walked over to his friend and nudged him, "Go knock 'em dead, fast fingers Willie."

Spike broke out in laughter at the old forgotten nickname Xander had given him one night of drunken fun. They had started trying to find a funny nickname for when they got famous, since Spike would not be enough and Xander wanted something with more of an oomph to it. They both had laughed until they cried with the names they'd come up with.

"What ever you said, Xan-man the sandman." Spike replied as he good naturally nudged him back.

"I’m here for you dude, don't ever forget that, just think you needed some time out from everyone in your face." Xander explained.

"Thanks man, it means a lot." Spike said with a sad smile. "I just hope I can do this."

Xander leaned in with his forehead against Spike's, "Use the force Spike, it will guide you. I believe in you."

Spike closed his eyes and felt the warmth of his friend's words touch him deeply. "Thanks, I needed to hear that."

"No problem, drop over anytime and I will be more then willing to add faithage to the you can do it box of faith in Spike. If that even makes any sense. God I have spent way too much time with Willow over the years." Xander sighed dramatically.

"Then I've spent way too much time, with the both of you." Spike snorted, "Since I understood you clearly on the first go around."

"Alright, guys and gals get ready, its show time." Albert Swanson, one of the tour managers told them.

"Okay, everyone let's go out there and give it our best." Angel said as he looked around at each of his bandmates. "Rock on."

Everyone repeated, "Rock on," as they followed their leader out toward the stage.

*******