Chapter 6:

Spike stood in the shower wondering what he should do. He felt confused, anxious, and embarrassed and didn't know whom he should call. He stood under the shower stroking his hard on wanting it to end. Every time he'd get himself off he'd become erect again.

Fred stood outside the shower door, watching her lover's silhouette as he masturbated. The sounds of him moaning, groaning, and grunting, made her pussy moisten, as she continued to watch, the shadow of his hand move back and forth over his cock.

"Spike, are you in there?" She asked as she stepped back at the doorway. "Are you okay?"

Spike groaned as the major object of his fantasy yelled through the door. He had tried to think of Buffy when he first started to get all aroused and needing to take care of his basic needs. But every time he came it was Fred's face on the body he was fucking that would let him find his release.

"I'm, fine." He tried not to pant as he closed his eyes to continue trying to make this time be Buffy he saw when he came.

"You don't sound fine." Her voice sounded innocently concerned, with a smirk on her face, as she massaged her breasts, at the same time squeezing her thighs together.

"I'm, well, it's. Oh God, it's complicated." He ground out, losing his battle with keeping Buffy's face in his head, with the other woman's voice so close.

"I don't want to embarrass you, but maybe I can help. It's not unusual to get, how can I say this and don't take it the wrong way, sexually frustrated during withdrawals." Fred explained.

"Sexually frustrated is it." Spike groaned, as he wanted nothing more then to shoot his load already and get the frustration over with.

"Spike, I can help if you let me." Fred said innocently, but with a look of lust on her face, as she started to remove her clothes.

"Oh, I don't know, Doc, how you can do that?" Spike felt his cock start to become painfully hard at the suggestion she could help.

"Spike, I won't tell if you don't, but if you keep this up you could hurt yourself." Fred said as she opened the shower door and stepped in.

"Oh God!" Spike gasped as he looked at her lovely nude body, seeing her nipples standing erect. "We shouldn't do this, I'm in a relationship."

"This is about what you need right now. No one needs to know but us. Let me help you." She begged as she stepped closer and kneeled before him. "Let me take care of you, Spike. You don't have to go through this alone."

Spike felt intense pleasure as she removed his hands and replaced them with hers. He stared at the ceiling finding all his willpower go out the window when he felt her take him inside her moist, warm, willing mouth.

"Feels so good." He murmured as his hips moved in time with her sucking motions. "Just like that, yeah, god that's good."

She let him slip out of her mouth and smiled at his groan of disappointment begging her not to stop. The fact he was letting her satisfy him fed into her belief that they belonged together.

"Do you want to fuck my mouth?" She asked as she stroked him firmly making him shake with need.

"Yes." His voice raspy with need.

"Look at me and say it." She commanded.

Spike looked down and watched as she used her tongue to toy with his slit. He knew this was wrong, but said, "Yes, I want to fuck your sweet little mouth."

Fred sucked him back in, relaxing her throat allowing him to thrust in and out. She knew he was close as she positioned her shampoo, lubricated finger at the tight little hole of his anus and thrust her finger up inside causing him to shout her name as he came hard in her mouth.

"Oh, fuck, Fred." Spike shouted when he felt her finger jam up inside him causing him to cum hard and fast.

He watched as she sucked him dry, not losing a drop, "yeah take it all."

Spike felt his cock come back to life as she started to hum. He watched her hand disappear from sight noticing her firm little ass start to wiggle. The thought of her pleasuring herself made him want to lift her up and screw her to the wall.

He reached down and gently grabbed her by the hair to signal he wanted her to stand up. The look of lust on her face as she licked her lips pushed all logical thought out of his brain as he watched her continue to finger herself.

Fred noticed how he was fixated with her masturbating and begged, "Fuck me, I want to feel your big cock up inside me, pounding me so hard."

Spike gave no second thoughts as he turned her and pushed her back against the shower wall. He used his hands to lift her and moaned when she wrapped her legs around his waist. Her hand encased him as she placed the tip of his cock at the opening of her moist cunt.

"I like it hard." She purred as she rubbed him against the warm, wet, heat, of her pussy a few times.

"Then hard it is." He promised as he slammed his hard length up inside her tightness, causing her to moan in a mixture of pleasure and pain.

"Oh, Spike, yes." She pleaded, "Fuck me hard and fast, make it hurt just right."

Spike was never one to let a lady's sexual request go unheeded, as he pulled out and gave the woman what she wanted. Dru had been the one to introduce him to how good a bit of rough sex could feel. Buffy had shied away from it the few times he tried to introduce it to her. He'd never tried again until the hotel the other day. He knew then it was something she'd never understand or would want to participate in again in the future.

He felt he was loosing his balance so he lowered her to the bottom of the tub. He brought her knees up over his shoulders as he resumed pounding her with everything he had. Her cries of yes, more, harder, and something about meant for each other fueled his lust.

Never had anyone ever fucked her so perfect she thought as he made one of her fantasies come true. The best orgasm with her vibrator had been them having shower sex, never as magnificent as the real thing happening right now. She sank her nails into his shoulders as she felt herself falling over the edge.

Both shouted their release together, as he continued shallow thrusts inside her. He gazed down into her face and noticed the content expression as she smiled up at him. The guilt of what he'd just done started to sink in as a flash of Buffy's face passed before him.

"Oh, God what have I done." He groaned as he tried to pull away from her.

"You've done nothing wrong, baby." She reassured him as she maneuvered her legs back around his waist and pulled him down to her.

"You don't understand, I don't cheat on my girl. I'm with someone and I can't believe I let this happen." Spike said disgusted with himself, feeling like cad and a loser.

"Spike look at me!" Fred kept the smile off her face as she seriously asked him, "Where is this girl? Why isn't she here giving you the support you need? Does she love you enough to take on the bad with the good, or does she only want you when you are sober and on your best behavior."

Spike didn't know how to answer; he just didn't want to discuss Buffy while he was still attached at the hip with another woman. "I can't talk to you about her while we are like this." He said as he waved his hand between their bodies.

"Plus the water is starting to get kind of cold." Fred giggled as she pulled him down for a kiss, hoping it would wake up his lovely perfect dick again.

Spike felt the kiss right below the belt as he felt his cock betray him and start to harden while inside her warmth. He pulled back from the kiss, pushing him deeper inside her welcoming body, causing her to moan and smile.

"Some one wants to play some more." She licked her lips as she wiggled her hips side to side.

"Like you said the water's getting cold." Spike groaned as he pulled out and sat back on his knees, trying to avoid looking at her nude, willing body.

He turned and shut off the shower and was surprised to feel her take him in her mouth and start to suck him hard and fast. He rolled his eyes as her teeth grazed him making him thrust against the back of her throat.

"God woman you know how to give a blow job." He complimented her.

She stopped and sat back licking her lips as she said, "Maybe you should return the favor, and I bet you know all the tricks with that lovely little tongue of yours."

Spike tilted his head and gave her a confused look as he asked, "What are we doing?"

"What do you think we are doing?" She asked, without giving him an answer.

"I don't know. I really don't know."

"Then I think we continue until we find out what it is we are doing here." She suggested as she leaned in to kiss him, letting him taste himself on her tongue. "Now, why don't we move this to the bed and you show me what you can do to make a girl happy."

She wanted as much of him she could get before the drugs wore off. She had found someone to make the sexually enhancing drugs look like the medications she was using to help with his getting sober. All of them mixed together at different times, along with his vulnerable state, made it easier to manipulate and place suggestions he otherwise never would have had.

Never in her plans to make him hers did she think she was being unethical, immoral, or doing anything illegal. She just knew they belonged together and it was up to her to make him believe it as well, no matter what it took to make him believe it as well.

*******

Buffy stared at the ceiling, wanting to hear his voice tell her he loved her and feel his arms around her. She turned and cuddled his pillow so she could inhale his scent. Never had she felt the distance between them as she did now.

Having made her decision, she would tell Faith tomorrow that in 2 weeks she was going to take a vacation and surprise Spike for his birthday. She would see how life on the road felt for that week and then decide if she would be able to live it so she could be there for him. She felt herself getting sleeping, drifting off dreaming about her, Spike, house, kids, pets. Yes, she wanted it all, and she wanted it with him.

*******

Spike felt something good happening to him as he drifted awake. He opened his eyes, as a moan escaped his mouth. The room was dark, and someone was under the blanket worshipping his cock. He suddenly remembered the marathon bathroom sex with his doctor, which had continued further in the bed.

"Fred, it's four in the morning, I need to rest." He moaned but was disappointed when she stopped sucking him off.

Fred slid up his body and straddled his hips, lifting herself up and onto his hardened shaft as she said, "But I need you, baby. I need to ride you like a stallion and feel you cum in side me."

"Oh, Fred, we, oh yeah, just like that." Spike groaned as she squeezed him tight as she thrust back down at the same time.

"I know how to take care of my man." She said as her fingers pinched his nipples and twisted them to the point of pain.

"Oh Fuck, yeah." Spike growled as he grabbed her hips to thrust up inside her tight little cunny.

Fred smiled at how well he responded to the pain she was inflicting, as she leaned down and took his sore nipple in her mouth, and soothed it with her tongue before biting on it hard without breaking any skin. Feeling the sudden gush of warmth, as he shot his climax hard up inside, making her cum along with him.

"No one can please you like I can. No one can give you what you really need, like I can and do." She whispered in his ear as he drifted off to sleep.

She lifted herself off his now flaccid member and settled in beside him to fall asleep. He would find out how wonderful it was to have her to wake up to in the morning. She would make it that he ate, drank, dreamt, and fucked her, and only her.

*******

Fred lay beside him with her head propped up on her hand, enjoying the quiet moment watching him as he slept. She knew she had to be careful not push too hard for him to break it off with this Buffy person too soon. Some how, she had to keep her lover from making contact with that woman until that happened.

His semi erect state was noticeable through the thin sheet that covered their lower bodies. Thus making her picture ways she would wake him in the future, when he was truly hers to play with as she saw fit.

"Morning, sunshine." Fred greeted her man as he awakened with her in his arms.

She felt disappointed he did not seem happy to see her as he frowned with confusion, followed by guilt. The drugs had worn completely off, this making it harder for her to manipulate his body's basic need to be satisfied.

Spike at first had felt relaxed, thinking he was waking up to his girl. That was until his gaze met a pair chocolate brown eyes looking down at him instead of a set of warm hazel ones. Instead of tussled blonde hair, he saw dark brown instead.

"I guess it wasn't a dream." Spike mumbled as he rolled away from her and sat at the side of the bed.

"No dream." She said, keeping the anger and disappointment out of her voice.

"I’m sorry." He whispered as he rubbed his face in his hands, trying not to cry.

She could tell he was having some residual effects of feeling guilty, mixed with the urge to take a drink. A plan came to her as she got out of bed and wrapped the discarded towel around her.

"Spike, you have nothing to be sorry about. You did nothing wrong, you needed someone last night, I happened to be there." She explained as she took a pill out of the bottle of the plain sedatives she gave him yesterday.

Spike felt himself start to shake as he tried to comprehend what she was saying. He knew last night he really had no control, she was right he needed someone. He really didn't know what he would've done if she had not been there for him. Her telling him last night he was not alone in this had helped keep him sane.

Most of his guilt came from being angry at Buffy for not being here for him. Thinking if she had been here, he'd never have taken advantage of Dr. Burkle. The more he thought about it, the more the guilt started to turn to anger toward his so called girlfriend.

Fred kneeled before him in her towel with a glass of water in one hand, and the medication in the other. She was sure his cousin would be coming or calling soon to wake him, since their flight would be leaving in a couple hours. Her job now was to get him calm, packed, and ready to face them while keeping what had happened here last night a secret.

"Spike, you need to take your medicine now." She instructed as she handed him the pill.

"I feel like my skin is crawling and my head hurts." His voice muffled from talking into his hands.

"It's the withdrawing you are feeling, here take this." She told him in her firm doctor voice, hoping he was not going to be a problem, making her fight to stay here as his physician impossible.

Spike put down his hands and regretted it as soon as he saw her kneeling before him in nothing but a towel. Remembering what she did to him last night made him harden and groan. He reached out and took the pill; unaware she could see his reaction to seeing her so scantly dressed.

Fred felt herself become wet with want as she watched his dick jump when he noticed her before him. She handed him the glass of water making sure their hands touched, hearing his sharp intake of breath at the contact.

"Let me help you. You have not, and will not be taking advantage of me, Spike. I want to be here for you, you just have to let me." She said as she let the towel drop to the floor. "I won't leave you to deal with this alone, like someone else has."

Spike about choked as he swallowed the pill and mouth full of water as she undid the towel. He could see she wanted him, as she scooted closer placing her hands on his knees and drifting up over his thighs. All he could do was lean back on the bed, his hands flat against the mattress as her hands started to fondle his shaft and balls with loving care.

"I will get you through this Spike, be your port in the storm and help you become that man you want to be. Not who she wants you to be." Fred assured him as she took him in her mouth and worshipped him the way he deserved to be.

Spike let himself believe her words as she worked her magic on his body. She would tell him repeatedly how she would care for him, support him, and give him whatever he needed to become a better man. The one thing he wanted was able to prove to his father, he was not a loser.

*******

Buffy looked at the band's itinerary that Spike had given her and called the hotel he was staying at in Vegas. She hoped she was about to catch him in his room, hoping to have a nice private sexy conversation with her man.

"Thank you for calling, 'The Hard Rock Hotel, Las Vegas'. Maria speaking how can I help you?"

"Spike Rayne's, room please, code name Slayer." Buffy politely asked, twirling her hair with her finger as she waited.

"Yeah, almost ready Peaches." Spike snipped.

"Oh, sorry catch you at a bad time." Buffy giggled.

Spike was shocked to hear her voice and not Angel's, since he was running behind because of his and Fred's morning activities.

"Buffy, I'm sorry but yeah, I'm running behind and just feeling like shit." His voice sounding gruff and impatient, since he really didn't want to face dealing with her, and his feelings about things that happened here last night and this morning right now.

Buffy felt hurt but decided not to let it get to her, "Okay, call me when you get to Phoenix."

Spike sighed, thinking it would be best to just not talk to her for a while, until he got his head together and he figured out what the hell, was going on with Fred. With how he was feeling right now, he was sure he'd say something that would out him to Buffy about sleeping with Doc. Or say something hurtful and mean to hurt her feelings.

"Buffy, maybe we should wait a few days. It's like when I tried to stop smoking that one time. We argued for a week until I took back up the habit. Fred, I mean Dr. Burkle said I might be rather hard to get along with." Spike tried to use as an excuse to keep from talking to her until he felt more in control of himself.

Buffy didn't know what to say at first, the pain of him not wanting to talk to her made it hard to speak. The tears stung as she fought to keep from crying.

"If you think that is what you really want." She whispered into the receiver.

"I think it's for the best, you said it yourself I needed to be able to stand on my own." Spike used her words against her.

"I love and miss you." She replied, wanting to reassure him.

"I will call, soon. I promise." Spike said before hanging up, unable to repeat the words back to her she had told him.

Buffy stood in shock as she listened to the dial tone playing in her ear. He had hung up without telling her he loved and missed her. She looked around their apartment trying to find anything that would soothe her pain. There on the one end table, was a recent picture that Angel had snapped of her and Spike snuggling together. It was taken at one of Xander's backyard parties.

She tried to tell herself he was acting strange because of his not drinking and starting to miss it. Her mother had been the same way when she would try to kick her own habits. But something kept telling her this time was different, he'd never treated her so abrupt or uncaring. Even when they fought the other night and he called her a bitch, it was because of his partying too heavy and them arguing.

She gathered her things so she could go and take a nice hot shower. The conversation kept playing in her head, and each time she'd become more concerned. It all came down to trust and faith. The next couple of days were going to be slow torture waiting for his call.

*******

Spike hung up the phone and started throwing things into his suitcase feeling angry for some reason. After he hung up he realized he hadn't told Buffy he loved her or missed her, making him feel even guiltier.

He kept looking at the door, waiting for her walk through it, back to him. The need for her presence was so strong he fought the urge to stop packing and join her next door. He wanted so much to be buried deep inside her again, hearing her voice reassuring him she'd be there for him no matter what. Begging him to make her cum, pleading for him to make it hurt so good she would scream his name.

No longer caring he just finished throwing everything in and zipped up his case. His erection pressed firmly against his zipper, making it very uncomfortable to walk. He gathered his things, and quickly left his room stalking next door and pounding on her door.

Fred opened the door giving him a sexy little smile as she asked, "Where's the fire?"

Spike growled as he walked in licking his lips, "Between your pretty little legs, and I'm just the man to put it out."

She stepped aside letting him enter, closing the door behind her and squealing as he pushed her up against the door. No one said anything, as he pushed up her skirt, ripped off her panties, while she undid his jeans. His fantasy came true as he fucked her hard against the door, hearing her promise him she'd never leave, and her screaming his name as she came hard and tight making him cum so hard he almost blacked out.

"Fire's all out." She murmured as she felt him slip out of her.

"Till next time." He mumbled as he led her to the bathroom so they could wash up.

"We have to be more careful. The others won't understand and make me leave you." Fred warned him, wanting to keep their relationship a secret for now.

"I promise I will be." He said as he wet the washcloth and wiped gently between her thighs. "Go find you some sexy little undies for me to rip off later."

Fred giggled as she did as she was told, feeling like she was on top of the world. So far, her plan was working. He initiated sex with her sooner then when she thought he would. Figuring it would take her at least two to three more days to get him addicted to her. The call for him to break up with that Buffy person would soon be a reality.

Spike stared long and hard in the mirror as he straightened his clothes after cleaning up a bit. He was no longer able to look at himself, looking at everything else reflected back at him. A little voice inside his head asked a question he barely could make out, "What about Buffy?"

He shook himself free from that little voice as he turned and left the bathroom. Fred was ready to go, with a very satisfied appearance on her face as she gave him a wink. He looked at his watch and realized they were going to be right on time, as they gathered their luggage and left to join the others in the lobby. She went down first, as he waited to take the next elevator, not wanting to be seen arriving together.

*******

 

Chapter 7:

Riley sat at the bar, noticing how his favorite petite blonde bartender was looking a bit under the weather. She hadn't been her usual perky self the last couple of days. He was sure it had something to do with her so-called boyfriend. He had overheard Buffy telling her one friend how Spike had talked to her over the phone and how it had made her feel.

He became worried when he noticed the sweat suddenly appear on her forehead, and her face paled. She stopped what she was doing and grabbed the side of the bar, shaking her head as if she was trying to keep from passing out. Riley quickly jumped over the bar and hurried to catch her as she lost her balance and fell.

Buffy felt a sudden rush of lightheadedness and nausea creep up on her. The last couple of days she had been feeling woozy and tired. She had attributed it to the lack of sleep, and decreased appetite since she had last called Spike. Suddenly the dizziness intensified making everything seem hazy and far away.

"Buffy, are you okay?" Riley asked softly and he held her close and checked her rapid pulse.

"I think I'm going to be sick." She pronounced, her eyes wide as her hand came up to cover her mouth.

"Well then it's Dr. Finn to the rescue." Riley said in a calm voice as he picked her up and quickly carried her to the women's restroom.

Buffy immediately fell to her knees as she emptied her stomach contents into the toilet. She could not believe the timing. The last thing she needed was to be sick when Spike called, causing him to add worrying about her to his list of problems. It had been three days, and she expected him to call today.

"How long have you been feeling sick?" Riley asked, as he knelt beside her rubbing her back gently while using his other hand to keep her hair out of the way.

Buffy took several deep breaths to help calm her sickness as she replied, "vomiting first time, dizzy for a couple days."

"Any fever, chills, or the dreaded diarrhea?" The doctor in him began to take over as he again felt her pulse and skin.

"No, neither." She replied as she continued to take slow deep breaths.

Riley hated having to ask this question, "Could you be pregnant?"

Buffy felt a jolt of fear and excitement go through her as she answered, "I'm on the pill."

"Forget to take it by any chance?"

"No, but they did lower the strength a couple months ago." She said, her voice sounding tired and anxious at the thought.

Riley continued rubbing her back His medical opinion was that she did not have a virus. Just she had an illness, but of the mother to be kind. He considered asking her a few more questions that was pertinent but changed his mind.

"I think you should either, make an appointment with your doctor, and or buy a home pregnancy test and take it. You could be pregnant."

Buffy mumbled to herself, "I can't be pregnant, now is not a good time for me, Spike and babies to mix."

Riley closed his eyes to bite off the retort about what he thought of Spike being the father of her baby. It felt like the final nail to the 'can't get Buffy', was about to be hammered in place.

"Well, don't get yourself all worked up about it until you know for sure. It could be you are coming down with a flu bug of some sort." Riley tried to reassure her, even if he believed his first diagnosis was true.

"You just don't understand, now is not a good time to start a family." She tried to explain, without getting into too much detail on her and Spike's troubles.

"Buffy, again, first find out if you are having a baby." Riley said as he silently prayed he was wrong.

It saddened him to think he'd never be able to give her a child or any woman for that matter. During his physical with the army they'd found out he was sterile. His dream of finding the right woman, getting married, and having babies had been destroyed eight years ago. His girlfriend at the time left not too long after.

"I know you're right, but God, I'm scared." Buffy whispered, as she tried to stand.

Riley helped her over to the sink, "How about I drive you home? We can stop at the drug store on the way."

Buffy turned on the water, using it to splash her face and rinse out her mouth. She hated to leave Faith and Robin in a lurch, but she really wasn't feeling well at all. What scared her most would be finding out she is pregnant and then having Spike leave her, unable to face the responsibility of being a father right now.

"Yeah, the ride home would be great and the other offer too." She replied, knowing the bus ride would not be in her best interest right now. "Let me go tell Faith, and then we'll be on our way."

"Take your time, I'm in no rush." Riley reassured her.

"Don't you have clinic or something today?" She asked, hoping he wasn't skipping work or something to help her out.

"Not until this afternoon around two."

"Okay, just so long as I'm not keeping you from something you need or planned on doing." She said, giving him a determined look.

"Nope, I'm your chauffer, madam." Riley said with a soft smile as he watched her relax.

"Okay, Faith, drug store, home. That's all the planning I can handle for now." She muttered as she turned to walk out of the bathroom.

*******

Spike smiled as he watched his Doc packed her things in a hurry. They'd played in bed late into the morning leaving them both so tired that they didn't get up until they absolutely had too. She had given him the best present a man could ask for last night, as he remembered packing the lube and condoms away for future use.

"Are you feeling alright, luv?" He asked, as he looked at her sexy well-loved arse.

"Let's just say I will be thinking of you while sitting on the plane, stud." She winked as she suggestively shook her butt at him suggestively. "Getting wet, hot, and bothered, remembering what you did to my poor little derrière last night."

Spike licked his lips and gave her a look of pure lust as he purred, "Don't worry, baby, Spike will make it all better when we get to the next hotel."

"I know you will, baby." She smiled as she zipped up her case. "I love you."

"Love you too!" Spike said with a grin, as he opened the door for them to leave.

*******

Angel paced the lobby, getting worried and pissed at the same time. It was starting to get on his nerves that Spike was always cutting it close with getting to the lobby on time. He felt some relief when he noticed Fred come off the elevator.

"Did you see Spike?" He asked her.

"He was about ready to leave." She replied professionally, "Don't push to hard, he hasn't said anything, but it looks like he had a bad night last night."

Angel and the others, except Doyle tried to relax. The Irishman found he didn't like this so called doctor at all, something about her just wasn't right in his book. He also didn't like some of the interaction between Rayne and this woman when they thought no one was watching them. His gut was telling them their relationship was not on the up and up.

Doyle leaned over and whispered in Tara's ear, "Watch the lovely doctor and Spike more closely, you might learn something you don't want to know."

Tara turned and glared as she said, "Don't start any rumors."

Doyle gave her a sad smile as he replied, "I don't believe it to be rumor. I don't trust the bitch. Been through a few dry outs myself and it's just doesn't feel right to me."

She looked at him and realized he wasn't lying, that he was worried. He placed enough doubt in her mind for her to become suspicious. She promised herself she would pay closer attention to how Spike and this doctor responded to one another in the future. Until she saw something to cause her to be concerned, she would keep it to herself.

Tara watched as Spike entered the lobby, looking between him and Fred to see if she noticed any thing spark between them. She prayed he was not cheating on Buffy, it would cause a rife in the group for sure.

Nothing out of the ordinary was noticed, but she also knew they'd be extra cautious when under direct supervision. It made her wonder when the last time it was Spike had called and talked to Buffy. He was always passing messages back and forth between her and everyone whenever they'd play away from home.

Doyle was now a man on a mission. He'd get the proof that the Dr. Burkle was unethical and that she and her patient were having an affair. If Spike is sleeping around he'd make it known to the bastard, he would be more then willing to win the affection of Buffy Summers and treat her like the princess she deserved to be treated as.

Spike just smiled as he joined the others in the lobby as he kept telling himself, "Don't look at her, mate, just don't make eye contact or Angel will know."

Last night had been special all the way around. She had broken down and confessed how much she loved and needed him. He in turn told her that he felt lost when she wasn't around.

"About time sleeping beauty woke up to greet reality." Xander snickered as he gave Spike a friendly punch in the arm. "Did Buffy keep you awake late with hot monkey phone sex talk?"

Spike felt like his stomach dropped to the floor, in the past three days no one had mentioned her name. To hear it now, after last night, made him wonder what he had seen in the blonde selfish bitch to begin with.

"No." Spike quickly said, without giving any further explanation.

Xander picked up the change in Spike's expression from smiling happy guy, to evil looking dude. Never had the mention of Summers made Spike react like that.

"Trouble in the Rayne and Summers paradise is there?" Doyle smiled, "Good, now maybe a real man might have a chance at her."

Spike turned to glare and seethed, "You think you're man enough?"

Doyle stood face to face and said, "I know I'm more then man enough, it's you that's beneath the likes of her."

"Enough!" Angel growled as he stepped between the two men. "Let's get our heads back in the game shall we."

Doyle waited so he could follow close behind the little doctor. He could tell she was pissed at something with her shoulders all set back and ridged.

He moved beside her and whispered, "You see he deserves a sneaky cunt as yourself. Buffy is ten times the woman compared to you."

Fred used her little girl voice, as she looked at him all shocked, "I don't know what you are talking about?"

"Don't think you can con me, I know you and Spike are fucking like rabbits, breaking all kinds of doctor, patient rules and such." Doyle chuckled as she blushed. "Please, take him, get him away from sweet Buffy. She needs a real man, not some pussy whipped Nancy boy like Rayne who's letting you lead him by the balls."

"You don't know what you're talking about." Fred hissed.

"Oh, luv, yes I do." Doyle snorted as he walked past her placing himself beside Tara and whispered, "We need to talk."

Tara's sad voice replied, "I know."

Spike happened to meet Tara's gaze and was shocked at the accusation and disappointment he saw there. He tilted his head giving her a questioning look. He felt the sting as she mouthed to him, "How could you?"

It hit him hard that she knew his secret. She knew he was sleeping with Fred, and in her eyes cheating on Buffy. For the first time he felt guilt at what he was doing, but he just didn't think it was something to do over the phone. There just wasn't any time for him to visit Buffy in person and tell her that it was over between them.

*******

Buffy stood in their bathroom staring in the mirror refusing to look down and see the results. She had been standing there for the last twenty minutes trying to find the courage to see if they were going to be parents.

"You can do this, you know you can." She told her reflection.

"This will make or break the relationship. He's not ready for a family yet and will feel like you've trapped him." Her voice of doubt reasoned.

She had the phone in her hand and the number to his hotel already to go. All she had to do was look down at the test results and hit talk. The doubts that plagued her since her last call came back in full force. He had promised to call, and so far, she hadn't heard a peep out of him. She would check the caller ID even when she hadn't left the house, thinking she'd missed his call.

Finally she forced herself glance down and her heart came up to her throat as she hit the talk button and moaned, "Oh God!"

"Hotel Hilton of Dallas, Martin speaking, may I help you."

"Spike Rayne's room, please, code name Slayer." She whispered, feeling scared and alone.

"Hello." Spike's answered out of breath, having made it up to his doc for earlier when he argued with Doyle about Buffy.

"Spike, baby, we need to talk."

"Now is definitely not a good time." Spike replied trying to catch his breath.

"No, we need to talk. I need to"

"You need, it's always about what you need, well fuck what you need." Spike spit in the phone.

"Spike, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Buffy, at least not after today." Spike said deciding it was time for it to end.

"After today?" She asked, feeling a tightness forming in her chest.

"Buffy, I think it's best if we don't see each other anymore. I'm never going to be good enough in your eyes. I need someone who is willing to be here with me, help me, give me what I need." Spike continued to tell her with his back to Fred, not seeing the look of triumph on her face. "I found someone that does all that and more."

"You found someone, in less then a week." Buffy whispered, her voice raspy with unshed tears.

"Yeah, you could call it fate." Spike sighed, "I'm sorry it has to end this way, I just can't live a lie anymore."

"Live a lie?"

"I know what love is Buffy, and what we had wasn't it." Spike felt horrible having to tell her like this.

"You never loved me." She repeated, her world spinning out of control. "Then what would you have called it?"

"Lust, a good time, come on Buffy you don't love me, you just wanted to control me, just like Dru."

"Don't you compare me to her, I'm nothing like her."

"Really, you have issues just like she did, you need to get over your mother and all that bull."

"Spike, I have something I need to tell you." She needed to let him know about the baby.

"You have nothing I need to know about, please don't call me again and I expect you to be moved out by the time me and Fred get back into town next month." Spike said before he hung up the phone.

"I'm so proud of you, baby." Fred praised him as she wrapped her arms around him and placed kisses on his shoulder.

He couldn't help thinking, "But why does it feel so wrong?"

"Come and let me reward you for such a job well done, baby. For proving to me our love is strong enough to face anything and everything." Fred purred as she did things to make his body react and give her what she craved.

Fred smiled to herself, remembering how she had implanted all those thoughts into his mind while under the influence of the drugs she had used, since that first night she came to him. Her plan had worked, faster then she had hoped for, but he was now hers and hers alone. Now she'd have to work at getting the others to accept Spike's decision to choose her over this other woman who obviously did not love him like she did.

*******

Buffy stood sobbing into the phone as she listened to the dial tone. She couldn't think as she looked in the mirror and tried to comprehend what she should do next. Her world was shattered into pieces at her feet. He didn't want anything more to do with her, and hadn't given her a chance to tell him about the baby.

Some how she made it into the bedroom that once was theirs, collapsing on the bed they once shared. Curling into a ball she poured out her sorrow to a pillow that no longer held his scent. She realized her mistake; she had forgiven him too many times. Now she had to try and forget, forget he ever existed.

Tomorrow, if she had the strength to face it, would be a long day. The more she thought about everything the more she came to realize she was exhausted. The world was no longer a safe place to be, for herself or for her poor innocent unborn baby.

*******

Spike was heading back stage when Tara confronted him, "We need to talk."

"Tara, just let it be." He begged, not wanting to have this conversation now.

"Are you sleeping with your doctor?" She came out and asked.

"Tara, it really does not concern you." He ground between his teeth.

"I take that as a yes." Tara said looking sad and disappointed. "So where does Buffy fit in all of this?"

"Again, none of your concern." He rolled his eyes and tried to walk past her.

"You are a bastard, William Rayne. I never thought I would ever use that word in reference to you, but you're a low life cheating two timing bastard and I hope you rot in Hell." Tara's face became angry and her voice accusing. "She never should've taken you back after this last time. God she is so much better off without you, I just hope she realizes that very soon."

"Tara, what's going on?" Angel asked, worried since he'd never seen Tara so angry.

"Ask your rat bastard cousin." Tara said as she looked at Spike, "Stay the hell away from me."

Angel noticed the pain mixed with anger on his cousin's face. "So care to tell me what happened here?"

"It really doesn't concern you, Angel, let it be."

"I'm not so sure about that, since it made our mild mannered never would yell at anyone, Tara swear and a call you nasty names." Angel said as he crossed his arms and gave Spike a look of tell me or I will beat it out of you stare.

"Fine, since everyone is so keen on my goings on, I broke up with Buffy today."

"You broke up with Buffy, why the hell would you do something so stupid." Angel fumed, wondering where, the hell the real Spike was hiding.

"Why am I the stupid one?" Spike asked, getting more and more pissed off.

"Cause the cousin I know and love worships the ground that girl walks on. She loves you more then life itself, why would you give her and that up?" Angel felt like he didn't know this man before him anymore.

"I'm in love with someone else. Someone, who loves me and wants what's best for me" Spike shouted, "Is that so wrong?"

"Who is she?" Angel asked, already fearing the answer.

"Fred, we are a couple now."

"How long?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yeah, it matters."

"Why?"

"Because it matters if she has manipulated you in anyway to think you love her." Angel said firmly, thinking he was going to talk to Eric about the wonderful help he had provided.

"I know my own mind."

"Do you now, so in less then a week Dr. Burkle has you thinking you love her and not Buffy. That she is what you need and what you want. You expect me to believe that garbage without a doubt that she hasn't taken advantage of your condition and warped your brain." Angel's voice held anger and determination that made Spike back away.

"She loves me."

Nether man saw the fist coming as Cordelia Chase punched Spike in the nose and yelled, "You bastard, you've been cheating on Buffy, after her taking you back after your last fuck up." Her anger getting the better of her since she'd just talked to Tara.

"What the hell is going on here?" Anya stepped between Spike's prone body and Cordy who was about to kick him with all she had.

"Seems bleach bastard two timer here, has been cheating on Buffy with Dr. unethical bitch." Cordy told the others.

"I knew it." Doyle crowed.

"He says he broke up with Buffy today." Angel sighed, wondering how he was going deal with this major problem.

"Where is doctor sleep with my patient whore at now?" Cordy looked around to see if Fred was around.

"Back at the hotel." Xander told them. "Said she had something to do."

"Yeah, prepare for the next clinical fuck fest I would imagine." Anya said as she turned and finished what Cordy was going to do and kicked Spike right in the ass, "You ass wipe, after all Buffy has done for you, you treat her like this."

"Stop hitting and kicking me." Spike yelled as he scooted away from the two angry females, rubbing the area where Anya had kicked him.

"Willow, have you talked to Buffy today?" Oz asked his wife, calling her when Angel mentioned the fact Spike had ditched Buffy.

"I think someone should take you out and put you out of everyone's misery, myself." Doyle said with a smirk. "I'll tell you like I told your lover, you're pussy whipped, and I'm so happy. Now, I will go and get the girl, and we can ride off into the sunset, get married and make pretty little babies."

"What do you mean she went home ill and hasn't answered her phone?" Oz's voice became a tad emotional, telling everyone how upset he was about all of this. "Go next door and get Mr. Anderson to give you the extra key, no baby, it's important. You need to make sure she's okay. No Mr. ass wipe just broke up with her is why."

Spike's heart started to race hearing that Buffy had gone home ill and no one had been able to get in touch with her. His head was starting to hurt, and his hands began to shake a bit. He was finding it hard to concentrate.

"Oh, God!" Spike moaned into his hands feeling confused on what to do, "I need Fred, I have to talk to Doc about this. She'll know what to do."

"She shouldn't have to tell you what to do, your the man, you figure it out." Doyle snorted."

"Shut up!" Spike yelled.

"Stop Doyle, now!" Angel growled.

"Yeah, let's get back to the hotel and wait for Willow to call and let us know that Buffy's okay." Tara said as she took Doyle's hand leading him away.

"I agree, that's the best idea yet." Anya replied as she tried to take Xander's hand only to have him avoid it.

Xander walked over and looked down at his friend. "Why did you do it? Why would you treat Buffy so badly when all she has ever done is love you."

"If she loved me so much, why isn't she here with me?" Spike yelled.

"Maybe because she knew in order for you to really get better you couldn't lean and depend on her so much, it didn't work in the past. Maybe she believed that for you to heal you had to learn to do it standing on your own two feet. Could be she put her trust in the wrong man?" Xander's words hit home.

"Maybe she did." Spike said feeling confused, not knowing whom to believe anymore.

"I don't know what this so called doctor has been feeding you, but it's a load of crap. Buffy has always had your back, from the first night you met." Xander continued to say, "I'm still your friend, but right now I'm very disappointed in you. Don't let that demon head shrink do anymore damage, she's lying to you."

Spike felt like his head was splitting in two with his brain being pulled in two directions. On one side, Fred was telling him all of them would be against them and he had to ignore them. Where everyone else was on the other side, saying his Doc was evil, and to run from her as fast his legs would carry him.

Oz walked over and looked down on him with contempt as he said, "If Buffy has come to any harm, I will personally see that you pay."

He watched as everyone but Angel left him sitting on the floor, the only one that seemed to care other then his cousin was Xander. The others brushed him off like he was dirt beneath their feet, or threatened to hurt him if anything had happened to Buffy.

"What has she done to you?"

"She loves me."

"I don't believe that for one minute."

"She believes in me."

"Buffy believed more in you then anyone, except for me, mom, and dad."

"No, Fred does, she understands what I need, and knows I need her to be a better man."

"She really has scrambled your brains."

"No, she found me, and is making me better, stronger."

"What, by making you need her to make decisions for you. Does she need to tell you it was okay you broke it off with her rival? That's not love, Spike, that's having control over another human being. Buffy never took control of you. She gave you choices and let you decide. She forgave a lot of bad choices you made, but she stood beside you in the end." Angel said as he gave his cousin a sad smile, "I called mom and dad and they are going to meet us in Houston. I can't tell you to stay away from that woman, but I won't have anything to do with her, nothing."

"Are you telling me that I have to choose?"

"No, I'm just saying I will visit you and talk with you as long as I don't see her face." Angel clarified. "I love you, you're family and I will always accept you in my home, but she will never be welcome. For one, I think Cordy will kill her, or at least do some bodily harm."

"What if I say you have to accept her or you will never see me again?" Spike asked, feeling brave, and wanting to stick up for his Doc.

"Then I wish you a long a happy life and hope we can at least write. I hate her for this Spike and there's not enough time in the universe to ever change that."

"Okay, want to help me stand up, that girl of yours has one hell of a right hook."

"I know that's right." Angel chuckled, as he helped Spike to stand. "Come on we can share a cab ride together. Maybe there is some news concerning Buffy when we get there."

"I do hope she's okay." Spike mumbled.

"I do too for your sake." Angel replied, "You know she is like family to Oz and Willow. Tara, Cordy, Anya, and Xander love her dearly, and we know how Doyle feels. She's like a sister to me. Giles and Jenny love her like a daughter, just like they do Cordy. Fred will never be accepted, I hope you realize that."
 

Chapter 8:

Fred looked around making sure everything was in place. The candles, just right, with one close enough within reach if needed. Buffy was no longer a problem, making it possible now to get him to move to the next step. Never in her wildest dreams would she have imagined getting him this far in a matter of a week.

Tonight would be the night he asked her to marry him, she was sure of it. The idea she'd planted frequently at the right times, just like she had gotten him to admit he loved her. The knock on her door alerted that room service had arrived with what she needed to make her plan complete.

As soon as the door opened, she found herself lying on the floor holding the left side of her face. The look on the on the trio's faces made her fear something bad was going to happen.

"Well as I see it, you need to leave." Cordy told her as she towered over her.

"Yes you aren’t welcome here anymore." Anya smiled as she looked at her nails.

"I have already called and reported you to your boss, and The American Medical Association." Tara added, as she squatted down beside her and added, "You're a disgrace to your profession."

"I'm pressing charges." Fred hissed, as she tried to stand only finding herself pushed back down.

"Oh, my, really, anybody here see what happened?" Cordy snorted.

"We are just here to let you know we don't like how you practice medicine. So we here by fire your ass and if you know what is good for you, you will take the next plane out of Spike's life and our hair." Anya leaned down and explained.

"Oh I like that, Anya." Tara smiled as she noticed the band's assistant manager straighten back up and frown.

Anya started to walk around and blow out all the candles, gathering up everything, and placing them in a pile as she spoke, "Your room as been canceled and a formal complaint has been filed with the management of you harassing us. Spike's things are being moved into Angel's room as we speak. For the duration of the tour that is where he will stay. Cordy will now room with Tara."

"You can't make him stay away from me, he's mine now." Fred spoke with a confident look on her face. "He loves me."

"Oh, I forgot, Eric's legal advisor is getting a restraining order against you as well." Anya informed her.

"What the hell?" Spike yelled from the doorway.

"We are taking care of business." Anya said from the bed. "She has been fired, already cleared it with Eric's manager who has notified her job. By the time this is through, she won't have a license to practice. Oh my, what have we here?"

Fred tried to get up off the floor to keep the woman from opening her case. But, the other two would not let her up. The last thing she needed was for them to find out what she had in her bag.

"Oh, I wonder, doctor evil bitch, just what do all these different little pills do?" Anya smiled as she opened the case and picked up the various bottles to look them over.

"It's all legal." Fred tried to lie.

"Then why all the worry honey, and why are there some pills with no markings?" Anya's voice began to become worried. "Spike come here and tell me if this is what she has been giving you?"

Spike glared and started to refuse until Tara's words hit home. "Are you afraid to find out all she has told you is a lie, that maybe she's drugged you up to believe all her lies."

He walked over confident his Doc would not have done that too him, but a voice deep down told him it's exactly what she had done. He stopped beside Anya and looked at various pill bottles all with his name written on them.

"Look for yourself." Anya offered.

All the bottles held small white pills, some with a couple small numbers across it, were other ones had no markings on them, just plain white pills. The bottles that contained the unmarked white pills said on one of the bottles Spike's FS ECZ, and HS ECZ on the other.

"Oh my God! You've been feeding him ecstasy, haven't you?" Anya asked, looking at the doctor with a look of shocked horror.

Spike looked at the evidence, his thoughts rushing around all jumbled as he warred with himself over what and who to believe. It all started to overwhelm him as he felt his world falling apart before him.

"Spike, man look at me, stay with me." Angel tried to soothe him.

"Don't listen to them, baby, remember no one loves you like I do." Fred reminded him.

"God, can I tape her mouth shut?" Cordy asked.

"Spike, come on, look at me." Angel begged.

"He doesn't look so good." Tara pointed out.

"Would you if you found out some psycho bitch did a brainwash number on you?" Anya stated bluntly, quick to point out the obvious as always.

"No, he loves me, I just had to show him the way is all." Fred tried to make them see reason. "We are meant to be together, he's my soulmate."

"You need to be locked up and then someone needs to throw away the key." Cordy suggested.

Spike stared off into space as he picked up the water glass and smashed it on the table. He just wanted the pain to stop, the confusion to go away, his head to stop hurting, and his mind to stop making him hear, think, smell, or live.

Before Angel could stop him, Spike picked up a large piece of glass and slashed his right wrist. The Blood squirted on the table and walls making the people in the room scream and Anya to call 911.

Angel fought with Spike trying to use a towel that Tara had given him to put pressure on the wound. Soon Xander was there, helping to hold their hysterical injured friend down, so they could try and stop the bleeding.

"Let me go, let me bleed her out of my body, she needs to leave and it's the only way." Spike sobbed, "Tell the bitch to leave."

"Spike, who are you talking about?" Angel asked, already suspecting who it was.

"The bitch, get her out get her out of me." Spike yelled as he glared at Fred, "You did this to me, you made me hurt her, made me hurt me, made me believe your lies and not her truth."

"Get her the fuck out of here, now!" Angel yelled at the ceiling as his heart was breaking.

Doyle felt ashamed having now found out what had really been going on. He grabbed Fred by the arm and jerked her to her feet. Ignoring her pleas to go to Spike that she could make it better.

"The only thing that would make this better is if you were never born." Doyle snorted as he and Oz dragged her out of the room screaming and crying for Spike.

Soon the scene became more chaotic as the paramedics arrived along with the police. Between Eric's manager and Anya things were arranged as Spike was taken to the nearest trauma center under an assumed name. Everyone felt it was important to keep this incident as quiet as possible.

*******

Willow and Faith stood in front of the door pounding and ringing the doorbell. Mr. Anderson had not been home to get the key from him. Both women needed to see Buffy in person to make sure she was alright.

They both sighed with relief when they heard a familiar voice asked, "Who is it?"

"Me and Willow, now open the damn door."

"I really don't want any company right now." Buffy sighed, as she leaned against the door fighting off more tears.

"I need to see for myself that you're okay." Faith replied, "So please open the damn door."

Buffy sniffled as she undid the locks and cracked open the door and said, "So either you are checking up on me and my not feeling so good earlier, or you know?"

"We know." Willow answered, taking in Buffy's puffy eyes and pale skin.

"I just need some time alone, honest I will be okay." Buffy reassured them, seeing their worried looks, "I'm not the first or will I be the last girl dumped."

"Call me if you need anything." Willow beseeched her.

"I promise."

"Take a few days off with pay." Faith offered, "Call if you need me to drop off some food or what not."

"I will, now I need to get back to my Kleenex box, it misses me." Buffy said to try and humor them.

Both women shook their head yes and was saddened their friend didn't want them around as they watched as Buffy shut the door. They agreed to give Buffy some time alone, but set a dead line of three days. If they didn't hear from her by then they'd come back together and force their way in.

Buffy returned to the bedroom where she had been in the mist of packing her things. Come morning she would plan further beyond just the gathering of her belongings. L.A. was no longer a place she wanted to be. It was time she moved on and found her place in life that would be as far away from Spike as possible. She had someone that had yet to be born depending on her now, and there was no way she was going to let her baby down.

*******

Riley stood outside her door hoping she would welcome his visit. It had been two days since he had taken care of her when she'd become ill. Not even an hour ago, he'd overheard bits and pieces of Willow and Faith's conversation concerning the woman he cared about. They had just returned from trying to visit with Buffy.

Hearing that Spike had broken things off had made him see red. He acted like he hadn't heard them as he paid his bill and left the bar, ending up here. The need to make sure she was okay, and if in fact the bastard was leaving her with child gave him the courage to knock.

"Who is it?"

"It's me Riley."

"Oh!" Was all Buffy could say, having no clue how to handle this visit.

"Please open the door. I need to talk to you."

Buffy smoothed her hair back and felt embarrassed about how she looked.
She spent most of the morning in the bathroom bringing up her breakfast and her dinner from last week. Her clothes were wrinkled, and she was not wearing any make up.

"I'm not really up for company right now."

"I promise to only take up a moment of your time."

Buffy sighed as she slowly opened the door allowing him to enter. The look of understanding made question if he knew that Spike had broken up with her.

"Why are you here?"

"Two reasons really."

"They are?"

"First, was wondering how the home kit results went?"

Buffy started to cry, "I'm pregnant."

Riley opened his arms, letting her decide if she wanted him to comfort her. To his surprise, she practically jumped into his arms as she cried. He enveloped her in his arms and hugged her close offering her all the love he had to help comfort her.

"He's found someone he says loves him and he loves her. Says, he never loved me." Buffy said between the tears.

"He's a fool." Riley mumbled before asking, "Does he know about the baby?"

"No, he said he doesn't want to know anything about me any more and asked me to move out."

"What are you going to do?"

"I want to be out of L.A. before he comes back. I don't ever want to see or hear from him again, and I definitely don't want him anywhere near my baby."

"I can help if you let me."

Buffy looked up at him, her face red from crying as the tears rolled down her cheeks. He reached up cupping her face and wiped the tears away with his thumbs. It was a long shot, but it would mean the world to him if she said yes.

"Buffy, you would be giving me a truly wonderful gift if you marry me and let me be the father to your baby."

Buffy's eyes grew big as she heard his request and whispered, "But I don't love you."

"Not yet you don't, but I think you could learn to love me." Riley said as he smiled down at her, "I already know I love you, and would be honored to give this child my name. We can do this together, I know we can."

"But what if I don't come to love you?"

"We just take one day at a time. I won't push you, and we can take our time to get to know each other."

"I can't believe you'd do this. What if we have children together?"

"I can't have kids, so that would never be an issue. I would look at it as being a gift to have the woman I love by my side and raising our baby together."

"When do you leave for Virginia?"

"I have to be there first thing Monday morning. It would give us time to pack up your things drop them off them off at the movers tonight. We can drive to Vegas tomorrow, get married, spend a few days there and then fly to Virginia in plenty of time. I just have to call and see if they can scare me up some housing for the two of us."

"But what about, you know." Her blush told him she was worried about sex.

"Buffy, I can wait until you're ready. I want the first time we make love to be special, and about us. It might be before the baby comes or after, it doesn't matter, you are worth the wait."

Buffy felt that maybe someone had heard her prayer after all. It was like Riley was a godsend and the answer she had been looking for. He was a good man, and she felt she could maybe come to love him if given the chance.

"Care to help me pack?"

Riley smiled down and said, "I would love too."

*******

Jenny gripped her husband's hand as she looked down at her sister's son. His face was so pale, his eyes unfocused, as he cried out for his mother, wanting her to save him. The things that her nephew was unconsciously revealing made her heart weep. It would seem his problems went deeper then anyone could have imagined. His father was more of a bastard then anyone had thought.

They had talked Angel into continuing the tour, reassuring him they would take care of William. The band had found a young Spike wannabe, by the name of Penn Armstrong to play in Spike's place for now.

Fred's employer was providing for her care, until they could locate any family to step in and take over. She was under constant supervision since she had tried to kill herself several times as well. Someone had checked her apartment and found her bedroom covered in pictures and posters of Spike. In her five disc, CD player, each slot had the band's CD in it.

The biggest worry was no one knew where Buffy was. Willow and Faith had went to check on her and found she had left, leaving no forwarding address only a note telling everyone good-bye. Telling everyone not to worry, she would be all right and it was best she just cut all ties and move on with her life.

Jenny heard a knock on the door as she and Giles watched as a distinguished looking young man walk in. She watched as he looked toward her nephew with a look that told her that he was another doctor that was coming to see about his care.

"Can we help you?" Giles asked the young man.

"You must be Mr. and Mrs. Giles, allow me to introduce myself." He offered with a genuine smile, unlike the other ones that were fake or forced. "I'm Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, I will be taking on your nephew's case from now on."

"Mr."

"Please, call me Wes, I have a feeling we will be getting to know each other very well."

"Then you can call me Jenny and this is my husband, Rupert."

"I promise I will do everything in my power to help William the best that I can." Wesley promised.

"We were hoping to get him transferred closer to home." Jenny sighed.

"I think once he is a bit more stable that would be a splendid idea." Wesley agreed, "Just to let you know, I'm able to go and settle where ever he goes. I can start a practice in Sunnydale I'm sure without a problem."

Giles became suspicious as he asked, "Who is paying your bill?"

Wesley walked over and reached out and gently stroked William's forehead as he replied, "Some one who cares about William, who wants every available chance made available on his recovery. Before you ask, this person wishes to remain anonymous, but I will say it has nothing to do with Miss Burkle or the clinic she represented. William's health will be my main concern, and my goal is to get him through this the best that I can."

"I cannot lose him, he is like a son to me and all I have left of my sister." Jenny told him as she came to stand on the other side of the bed to look him in the eyes.

"Like I said, I will do everything to bring him back to you and help him to get his life back on track." Wesley vowed, seeing the pain and fear in the woman's eyes.

"I cannot believe this has been kept out of the news and papers."

"It's because people with the power knows that publicity would destroy him, and it really is no one's business. It also goes to show you how much control a star sometimes has on what gets reported and what does not." Wesley said as he listened to his new client's tortured confessions that the poor man didn't know he was sharing.

"I think it's best you go and get some rest, I'm going to spend some time here and absorb some of the things I will only find out here and now." Wesley told them as he sat down the chair beside the bed.

He pulled out a notebook and pen from his briefcase. He watched as the couple gently kissed his client's forehead whispering they'd be back to check on him. The love he witnessed made his resolve to bring this man back to reality and to heal him the best of his ability a solemn vow.

"Take care of my boy." Giles said before he turned and followed his wife out the door, hearing Wesley's reply, "Only the best."

*******
 

Chapter 9:

Thirteen months later.

Spike stood at the door that held the woman that should be sharing this house with him. Fate had taken that chance out of his hands along with a crazy bint named Fred. Now he was here to find the closure he needed to end that horrific chapter of his life.

It had taken some time for him to find her, only because it had taken him this long to get his life back on track. Fred had left him a mess, all tangled in her lies. So many times, he stumbled and only once fell flat on his face during his journey back to reality. He had the scars that showed the battles he had fought physically, mentally, and emotionally.

He knocked on the door, praying no one was home. It still hurt as if it was only yesterday, when he found out she had married not long after he broke her heart. His own life shattered as well. He thanked God everyday for his family, for without them he'd be just another statistic in the hall of death by self-infliction.

"Barb, you're early." Buffy said, becoming pale, as her eyes got wide with surprise and then fear. "How did you find me?"

Spike felt like his throat was closing and his heart was going to burst it was beating so hard and fast. The panic was close to taking over when he said, "I'm sorry, I'll just go," as he turned to walk quickly away.

Buffy had seen the sheer terror in his once sparkling blue eyes and she quickly over came her shock and called out, "Why are you here?" as she stepped out onto the porch.

Spike stopped but was unable to turn back to face her, "I needed to see you, to explain a few things."

Buffy's voice became angry, "Well, you're a little late if you ask me."

Spike turned to look at her and said, "I know, but until recently I wasn't in a frame of mind to deal with it. Buffy, there are things you don't know about that happened back then. Things that were kept from the others that only Angel and Cordy are aware of."

Buffy noticed the shock and then devastation that spread across his face. She looked over her shoulder and noticed Riley standing there holding her son. The look on Spike's face told her he figured out who was Ryan's real father.

"Spike, we do need to talk, but not now." Buffy said, not ready to deal with the fact her children's real father just found out he was a daddy.

Spike looked from the little boy that looked just like his baby picture to the man holding him; back to the one of the few he never would have thought to betray him so. He felt the panic beginning to take over, when it hit him that she never intended for him to find out he was the child's father.

"How could you?" He whispered as he dropped to his knees, hugging himself as he started to rock back and forth. "You were never going to let me know."

Buffy's tears began to fall as she said, "You didn't want me anymore, remember?"

Spike eyes held a pain so great it hurt her soul to see it, "I don't remember anything much from that time of my life. You see I wasn't myself then."

Buffy noticed suddenly Angel was kneeling next to Spike holding him close saying, "I'm here William, you're not alone, remember that, you're not alone." She noticed a car parked at the curb, across the street, with the driver's door ajar.

Spike looked at his cousin and said, "It hurts too much, take me home. That bitch took everything from me."

Buffy's anger gave her the courage to say, "I'm not a bitch, and I didn't take anything from you."

"Buffy, let's go inside, he's not a part of your life anymore." Riley tried to tell her as he wrapped his arm around her waist.

"Not you! Her, Fred, the bitch that stole it all from me, my soul, she blackened my soul and made me bleed. She took my mind and wrapped it around her darkness, making me believe something that was not real or true, that I don't even remember. She ruined my life." Spike screamed as Angel's grip around him tightened.

Buffy was about to say something derogatory when Cordy appeared shaking her head no, telling her with tears in her eyes, "Don't say anything you might regret. There is so much you don't know and need to know before you judge him guilty and unworthy of your forgiveness."

"I just don't want him in my life any more."

"Well, that's not for you to decide if he wants to be a part of his son's life now is it?" Cordy reminded her. "You don't have a clue what kind of hell he has gone through."

"He put me through hell that much I do know."

"But the truth is he didn't, Fred did. You need to hear the story, and it's not pretty, and not something to discuss out here in your front yard." Cordy told her, knowing Buffy had every right to act like this when she didn't know the truth.

"Cordy, I have a good life here. Riley is a great husband and father." Buffy explained.
"But he's not the boy's father, and William needs a chance to have your forgiveness. Something that once you've heard everything you will understand the need for him to be here. He needs closure with you and what happened so he can try and move on with his life." Cordy tried to tell him.

"I hear he has a daughter, let him play daddy with her." Buffy hissed, some friends of Riley's had overheard someone talking about it one day at the club and told him about it, not knowing that Buffy was Spike's ex-girlfriend. "I don't want him involved here."

Cordy's tears began to fall as she whispered, "I'm not sure he will ever be able to be a real father to that poor little girl. She represents so much that is wrong here. She is an innocent; a casualty that we hope can be salvaged from this wreckage."

"A casualty you say." Riley snorted, "how can you call a little girl that?"

"Baby, call Wes and let him know I'm bringing William back to the hotel." Angel called out as he helped his cousin stand.

For the first time Buffy noticed how fragile Spike appeared, the weight he'd lost. The man who loved life was no longer there. She picked up the worried looks between Angel and Cordy and the sadness that were reflected in the faces.

"When you are ready to find out the truth behind what made William break it off with you, let me know, as for his daughter, again you would need to walk in his shoes to understand it all." Cordy said as she pulled out her cell phone and dialed a number, not caring if Buffy overheard her or not, "Hey, Wes, things didn't go well."

"No, Angel has him. No, she's not wanting to talk about it and we also found out a little something that sent him a bit over the edge. He has a son."

"Twins, I had twins."

Cordy's eyes grew large as she repeated that information over the phone, "It seems she had twins, and never told William he's a father. I don't know he's not talking much, and Angel's worried and is bringing him to you, yeah let me ask her." Cordy held out the phone and said, "Wes would like to talk to you."

"Who's Wes?"

"William's doctor."

"You mean Shrink." Riley rolled his eyes and spit out sarcastically.

"I will only say this once more, don't judge him until you know how that bitch damaged him. He is the other innocent victim here. So keep your opinions to yourself until you know the facts, Jack." Cordy said with her no nonsense tone and a glare that made Buffy worry for Riley's safety.

Buffy reached and took the phone from Cordy and put it to her ear. "This is Buffy Finn."

"I wish we could have met under more pleasant circumstances." Wesley apologized, "He wanted to do this alone on his own two feet, the way he knew you would want him to."

"What do you want?"

"I want what is best for my client, he's been through a horrific ordeal that one could only imagine or read in a book and say to themselves it couldn't happen in real life." Wesley sighed, "He needs to find closure with you and what happened in that dark period of his life. It's what he needs to be able to walk back among the living, to heal his soul, heart, and mind. There are things he has yet to tell me, for he feels you need to hear them first. Now, I ask of you, is he the father of your children? Twins if I'm not mistaken."

"Yes he is."

"Have Cordelia give you my number, take some time to let his return sink in. If you wish to talk to me, or ask any questions, all you have to do is call. As for William, he no longer likes to be called Spike. I do hope you have it in your heart to see how much he needs this, needs you. All I can tell you is he was not at fault for what happened between you over a year ago. I hope you find it in your heart to listen and then give him the closure he needs."

"I'm not that girl anymore."

"He's not that man anymore."

"I have a new life for me and my children."

"He needs to find his place again, and they are his children, too."

"Riley has been a good father."

"William was never given the chance to be."

"He didn't want me."

"When you hear the truth, you will find out you was all he ever wanted and how Fred took that away from him."

"He has a daughter."

"She is a reminder of a very bad time in his life, you will understand more if you let him tell you about what happened to him. Let him have that time to grieve with you, to share with you his loss. He will never be whole until he does this."

Buffy watched as Angel practically carried Spike, sobbing back to the car as she said, "He looks so broken."

"It's because he is, and me and his family are trying to fix him, you might say." Wesley sighed, hoping this woman would find it in her heart to help put William back together again.

"I don't want him involved with my children."

"That is between you and William, I will do nothing to influence him concerning that matter. I will support him in any decision he makes as long as it's a healthy one. There is no reason he could not be a good father if that is what he chooses to do."

"I can't talk about this now."

"I understand, but I think maybe you should, especially after you hear his story." Wesley suggested.

"Good bye Wes." Buffy said before she hung up the phone handing it to Cordy saying, "He told me you'd give me his number."

"Here it is." Cordy replied as she gave her Wesley's card.

"I can't make any promises."

"No, you can't, but I know Jenny and Giles would love to see their nephew's offspring." Cordy said as a reminder that other people needed to know about the kids. "I know Angel will be ecstatic to meet them."

"Riley is their father." Buffy said hoping Cordy would get the picture.

"No, he's playing daddy, their father is over there being comforted by their cousin. No need for DNA testing to know who the real father is." Cordy winked as she turned to leave with one last thing to say. "Remember one thing Summers, the truth can set you free, are you ready to be set free?"

Buffy felt a pressure in her chest, knowing her life was about to change for the worst. She and Riley had passed the twins off as being his to his family. Now all their lies were about to come back and bite them in the ass.

"Don't worry, baby, we will get a lawyer." Riley said, "I'm their father, only me."

"No, Riley, you don't understand. He won't rest until he has them if he wants them. No lawyer can keep him from being their father. I need to find out all I can about what happened, and then use it against him. It's the only way I can make sure he stays out of our lives." Buffy promised as she stepped into her loving husband's embrace.

*******

"I feel bad."

"Why?"

"I feel cheated by not being with my child, with Buffy, and I could care less about the other one."

"One was created in love, the other deceit."

"It's not the baby's fault, I know that, but it doesn't help that she looks just like her mother." He said, having only seen her picture once, about a month ago.

"No, it's not. But for you to accept the little one, I think you need to mend and realize it's okay to love her. It does not mean you care for her mother or forgive Fred for what she has done to you."

"I want to hold him, touch him, smell his scent and tell him I love him."

"There's nothing wrong with that."

"But I shouldn't want to do that with her?"

"Maybe in time you will, when that part of you is healed and ready to take that step."

"But I'm not good for either of them. Riley makes a better father. Giles and Jenny are doing a great job with her. I never should have contacted Buffy, should have left her alone, she was happy without me."

"Don't you think she deserves the truth as well? Don't you think she needs to know why you did what you did and who was behind it all?"

"It would only bring her more pain. I don't want her to think I expect her to drop that stiff over sized cardboard wanker, and take me back."

"William, the ball is in her court now. How about we wait to see if she attempts to contact us, and then we go from there."

"Sounds like a plan I can live with right now."

"Good, now get some sleep and I will talk to you in the morning." Wesley suggested as he stood to leave. "Remember, you are not alone in this, and you never will be."

"I know, but some things I need to deal with on my own."

"Yes, but that does not mean you are alone."

"Good night, Wes."

"Sleep well, Willam."

*******

Buffy listened to Riley's snoring, as she got out of bed, hoping she would not wake him up. No matter what, she couldn't get the events to stop replaying inside her mind. The idea that this Fred character had done something to Spike while under the influence of withdrawing and going through his detox, started to take form. Could it be that she had taken advantage of Spike in some way?

She stepped into the babies' room and walked over to stand beside Molly's crib. Her hair was the same color as her brother's, but her eyes were green like hers. The little girl inherited her father's cheekbones and nose. To be honest there was little resemblance of her in either of her little ones; they looked more like their father.

Next, she moved to watch her son as he slept. It always amazed her how he looked just like his father even more so in his sleep. He would scrunch up his nose the same way while dreaming and rub his face into the blanket. Her mind made up, she decided she would listen to what Spike had to say.

The initial shock having worn off and she started to remember everything that had went on around her today. Angel's quickness to come to the aid of his cousin, and then Cordy's being there and asking her to give Spike a chance to explain. This Wes fellow, implying that Spike needed her forgiveness to move on was the final straw.

It all added up that she was the key to Spike finding his way back to being whole again. She wasn't sure if she wanted that responsibility, but then could she look her children in the face one day and lie that she had not done everything possible to help their father. Would they forgive her for keeping them from him, lying to them?

"No, they wouldn't." She whispered having made up her mind.

She knew Riley wasn't going to like her decision, but she didn't care. It was time all the lies stopped. They would have to plan a trip the Iowa to talk to his family and let them know the truth as well. They deserved an explanation in person, and she was prepared to take the brunt of the badness that would come of it.

It will be hard having Spike back in her life, and some feelings would need to be resolved quietly. She would make it known, she loved her husband and would honor her vows to love, honor, and cherish. The one thing she would never tell a soul, was the fact she was still in love with the father of her children.

*******

"No! I won't allow it." Riley growled, "You are not going anywhere near him without me."

Buffy took a deep breath to keep from yelling, "I'm just going to talk to his doctor right now. He will only talk if I'm alone."

"Let our lawyer deal with it."

"'And what about Ryan and Molly, will they deal with it if they find out in the future that we lied to them through our teeth? What example would that set for them? What if they come to find out about Spike later in life and come to love him and hate us for keeping them apart?" Buffy explained, she sat with her head in her hands. "I thought long and hard about this all night. I then put myself in their place."

"And what did you come up with?" Riley asked sarcastically as he glared at her.

She looked up and met his glare with tears in her eyes, "I would hate me and you for keeping the truth from me about who my father really was. The truth always has a way of coming out in the end. I'm thinking about what is best in the long run. It might turn out that he doesn't want to be a part of their lives."

"I don't have to like this, and I think in the end they would understand. He doesn't deserve this, not after what he did to you that day." Riley said, as he leaned forward. "You do what you have to do, we will talk more after you have your meeting with this Wes."

"I know how hard this is for you, it's not easy for me either." Buffy reassured him as she reached out to cup his cheek.

"I love you, Buffy."

"I love you too!"

"We will get through this together."

"Yes, we will, I promise."