Two nights later, Dawn left a message on Willow’s answering machine that she was going to go visit Buffy and not to worry that she would be back before the start of her last classes. The duo was off to Hawaii. Spike booked a night flight so they could travel together. Both enjoying the comfortable company once again, they sat and talked the whole flight. Finally touching down, they exited the plane and were hit with a wall of warm humidity and island scents. Spiked looked around, trying to take in the scenery, but the airport looked like any other airport. Not much difference. Dawn dragged the slacking vampire through the doors to get their luggage and to rent a car. Much to Spike’s dismay, Dawn insisted on a small convertible. “Geeze, it’s not like you are going to be driving during the day.” She reminded him in a huff. “Trust me, this is the only way to travel in paradise.” Spike paid for the rental car, and they packed their belongings into the trunk. Dawn directed him to the part of the island that Buffy lived and worked at. They slowly traveled the streets, letting Spike take in the local scenery. “This isn’t where tourist usually goes, so it’s basically like any small town.” Dawn got more and more excited as they neared the club that Buffy owned. Spike followed Dawns directions until they pulled up in front of a very busy club. He parked the car and got out to help Dawn. Dawn took his hand and tugged him towards the front doors. The outside wasn’t decorated much, except a neon sign with tropical plants on it with the word ‘Rainforest’ sketched on it. They walked up the walk way that was surrounded by many fragrant, tropical plants. Flowers of all different colors and flavors carpeted the ground around the walk way. Spike breathed in, not ready for what lay on the other side of the doors. Dawn stopped, took a deep breath turned to her companion and said, “Ready?”
“As I’ll ever be,” was his only response.
Everywhere there was color. Clear, vibrant color dotted the walls, the furniture, and the carpet. Everywhere he looked there were tropical plants taking up space as people milled around. If he could tune out the beat of the music coming from the club, he could almost hear the forest birds chirping and the animals calling out. Dawn once again, had her hand around his wrist and started to drag Spike into the innards of the club and then suddenly she stopped. “Um, maybe I should go get her and bring her out. I guess I will be enough of a surprise for her to take and then when she sees you she is going to flip.. in a good way.” Spike nodded understanding Buffy might have a coronary if she saw both of them at the same time. He stepped away to take a seat on an empty couch at the front room. Dawn nodded at him and headed for the club. The bouncer seemed to recognize her and let her in the club without charge.
She stepped into the club and immediately headed for the closest bar to look for Buffy, she usually helped bartend when the club was busy. She sauntered over and looked at the bartenders, they didn’t look familiar and Dawn figured they were new so she moved on to the bar across the room. As she neared, Dawn saw Sam flirting with a customer. Finally, a familiar face. He looked up and smiled wide. “Hey there, Buttons. Lizzy didn’t tell me you were coming.” He winked at the customer and moved over toward Dawn.
“She didn’t know I was coming. Do you know where she is?” Dawn was looking around trying to find the head of her sister. “It is really important.”
“Sorry, Dawn, she isn’t around. I think I know where she is though. Want me to take you to her?” Sam leaned on the bar as he talked with Dawn.
“Um, I need to talk to her, but she hasn’t returned my calls this past week,” Dawn pouted.
“Yeah, I know, sorry. She has been busy with um… something,” Sam tried to explain without going into too much detail.
“Well, could you tell me where she is, I could go find her. A friend and I rented a car.” Sam’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. Dawn was the only person that came and visited Lizzy, he wonder who came.
“Boyfriend, perhaps, getting big sis’ approval?” He kidded. He took Dawns arm and started to weave in and out of the crowd in the club, trying to get to the main entrance.
Dawn blushed, “No, nothing like that. Just a friend that missed Buf-Liz.” They stepped out of the club and Spike stood up as they approached.
“Sam, this is my friend, Spike. Spike this is Sam.” Both men shook hands as they sized the other one up. Sam heard that name before, but couldn’t place it. The man standing in front of him wasn’t tall by any means, and was very pale. Even his hair was white. Something about the stranger’s eyes made Sam uncomfortable. Sam wasn’t scared of Spike, just not sure what his connection to Elizabeth was and that made him uncomfortable. “Sam where is she?”
“Probably at the hospital. The night you called looking for her, all hell broke loose in here. Some guy came in here looking for trouble and thought the Forest was a good place to find it. Emily, one of our waitresses, was waiting on his table and he got fresh many times so she finally slapped him when he couldn’t get the hint. Well, he wasn’t too happy about it, so he kinda grabbed her before she knew what was happening. Before Lizzy could get to them however, he broke five of Emily’s ribs, her nose, and her arm. Liz had us call 911, but the guy wasn’t done and decided Lizzy was his next punching bag. He threw the first punch,” Sam chuckled. “Next thing he knew, he was unconscious in the back of the patrol car.” Dawn’s eyes widen and retracted as Sam told the story.
“Whose Lizzy?” Spike was a little confused. Weren’t they here looking for Buffy.
“Elizabeth.” Sam answered.
“Buffy,” Dawn corrected, “Professionally, she goes by Elizabeth. Liz or Lizzy for short.”
Light dawned in Spike’s eyes as he realized that they were talking about his Buffy. “But her name isn’t Elizabeth.” He was still confused. When they had Buffy’s tomb stone made, everyone assumed her real name was Elizabeth until Dawn told them that her name was truly Buffy. Why Buffy would go by any other name, it seemed so important to be called Buffy.
“I know, but when she was writing, Buffy Summers didn’t sound as good as Elizabeth Summers.” Dawn explained patiently. When Dawn first found out about the change of name, she didn’t understand, either. Buffy always corrected people about the Elizabeth situation. “So why is Lizzy in the hospital?” She directed the question at Sam who was looking at Spike like he was a green alien. Obviously, Spike must not have been in contact with Liz or such a good friend, if he didn’t know that she went by Elizabeth, now. He was cold, too. Maybe he was a vampire. Liz told him of the Slayer and demons when after they became friends. She told him about having two vampire friends. Maybe this was one of them.
“Oh, yeah, well. Emily was beat up pretty bad, and Liz felt so bad about it happening. So she has been spending all her time at the hospital until Emily is released.”
“Ewwwe, she really must feel guilty, she HATES hospitals.”
Sam chuckled, “That’s an understatement. But I bet that is where she is. Room 434, County Hospital. If you want me to go with you, I can. We just hired a bunch of new bartenders to help with the crowds.”
Dawn looked at Sam gratefully, “No, I think we can handle it, thanks.” Dawn grabbed Spikes wrist and started towards the door. “See you around, Sam.”
Chapter 12: Hospital
Dawn and Spike headed into the local hospital. Dawn went to the front desk and asked for directions to room 434. As they entered the elevator, Spike started to fidget. “Nervous?” Dawn asked slyly.
“What am I goin’ to say to h’r? I mean, what is she goin’ to do?” He was pacing in the little space he could. His mind was racing. Flashbacks of the last night they were together, when he tried to rape her entered his mind. Pictures of her having fun with him, laughing, smiling. Figments of his memories flashed as he remembered their first meeting, each encounter, his realization that he loved Buffy, her death, her rebirth. Everything was flashing. If Spike was human, he would have fainted.
“I wouldn’t worry about that, now, Spike. She will be too shocked to see you. She never thought you would see you, again. I think she will be happy and then the shock will wear off, that is when you have to worry. That’s when she will forget that she is happy to see you, and she will remember why you left. You two have a lot to talk through. I hope you two can before you kill each other.” Dawn smiled. Spike has no idea that Buffy wants him back in her life. Guess he will find out soon. “Please, PLEASE, tell her soon that you got your soul. I am sure that will work to your advantage.”
Spike looked at her like she just slapped him. “’ow… ‘ow did you know?”
“Hello, mystical KEY here. I can see it. Very pretty, kinda shiny.” Dawn giggled. Ever since Glory was banished she developed some strange powers. Dawn researched the Key’s origins and powers, but didn’t come up with anything concrete.
“What, why didn’t you tell me?” Spike and Dawn got off on the fourth floor of the hospital.
“Just like how you didn’t tell me, huh?” Dawn crossed her arms on her chest.
“Touché, ‘Bit,” Dawn giggled.
“Ok, room 434, this way. Your Lady awaits.” Spike snorted. Yeah HIS LADY. Buffy was not a lady, and she would never agree to be his. “OK, here we are. Stay out here until I tell you, OK?” Spike nodded and Dawn turned to walk in the room.
“Oh my god, DAWN.” Elizabeth got up from her chair. “Emily, do you remember my sister Dawn?” The woman in the bed opened her eyes, nodded slightly, and closed her eyes again. “Sorry, they just drugged her up, she’s a little loopy. Whatcha doing in my neck of the woods?”
“I missed my sister and she wasn’t returning my calls, I was getting worried.” Dawn scolded Elizabeth like she was a child.
Buffy looked down at the floor, “Sorry, I’ve been a little out of it lately, with the attack and all. You didn’t have to come here. They are releasing Emily tomorrow, so I would have eventually caught up on the calls.”
“Plus, I brought someone to see you.” Dawn got enough courage to introduce Spike. She ducked back out in the hallway and grabbed Spikes arm pulling him around the corner. “Come in.”
Spike emerged from the corner and looked up at his golden goddess. She was wearing a short blue jean skirt and light green crop tank top. All Spike could think was that she was a goddess. She wasn’t as thin as the last time he saw her, but she definitely was still too thin. Her stomach was flat, but her breasts had grown rounder and more mature. Her hair was darker and shorter, but still very beautiful. Her muscles on her arms and legs were more defined, she didn’t look as weak as she used to. She actually had a defined six pack and she had a belly button ring. Her whole body exuded power, beauty, and grace.
Elizabeth’s eyebrow arched as Dawn grabbed someone from the hallway. It was SPIKE. He looked the same. No, something was different. He wasn’t as cocky as he was before. No, that wasn’t it. Something else. He was wearing his ever ready black jeans and black t-shirt. Clothes weren’t different. His hair was still bleached. That wasn’t different. It didn’t matter what was different. He was here, standing in front of her, finally. Elizabeth couldn’t believe it, he came back.
The instant that Spike walked into the room, Elizabeth slowly inched her way closer to him until she was a foot away. He prepared himself for a punch or kick, but what she did was unexpected. She wrapped her arms around his neck and whispered, “You came back, I missed you so much, Spike.”
This had to be a dream. No way would the Slayer, admit she missed him. And then he felt it. A delicate, but noticeable kiss on his shoulder. She withdrew after a moment. But the emotion on her face could last Spike a lifetime. Dawn chuckled at the two as the gazed at each other without masking their emotions. Each not believing the other was standing right there.
“Ahem,” both looked at Dawn. “Maybe since Emily is not with it, we should go to your house and talk?” This brought Elizabeth out of her trance as she nodded slowly. “We have a car, so we will just met you there, OK?” Dawn grabbed Spike’s arm and dragged him away, but Spike couldn’t get his eyes off of the woman standing in front of him. Dawn dragged him down the hallway muttering, “Well, that couldn’t have gone better.”
Chapter 13 The houseguests
Dawn and Spike made their way to the parking lot to the rented car. As Spike started the car up, he noticed Buffy walking out of the hospital with measured, confident steps. He watched as she hit the remote on her key ring and a midnight blue roadster convertible blinked its headlights and beeped confirmation. She slowly opened the door and slid her svelte body in the driver’s side, started the powerful machine and put it in gear.
“I guess just follow her,” Dawn pointed at Buffy’s retreating back lights. Spike put their car into gear and pulled quickly behind Buffy.
After a fast five minutes, the pair of cars pulled up to a modest looking two story beach house. The outside walls looked like white stucco with archways for windows and doors. Buffy parked her car next to the garage and got out. Spike and Dawn pulled up beside her and they got out of their car. Buffy already was walking through the first archway through a covered twelve-foot deep front porch to open the front door and disappear through it.
“Come on in, guys,” She hollered back to the two guests, trying to not make a big deal of inviting Spike in. Dawn followed her sister through the porch and front door, Spike bringing up the rear. When he walked in, he looked up to see the great room with a winding staircase in the corner. The walls were a rich green with a faux finish to resemble marble. To the right of the great room was a small room that looked like it was used as an office. To the left was a small dining room. Dawn dragged him through the front room to the living room directly behind it. He stepped down into the room and was hit with the brilliant image of Buffy’s inner sanctum. To the left of where they were standing was a relatively large kitchen that also was open to the dining room in the front of the house. In front of them Buffy was busy opening a series of French doors that lead to a deck. A low rumble of the ocean penetrated Spike’s thoughts.
“Wow, did you rob a bank or something?” Spike said in awe.
Buffy chuckled, “If you asked Palo, yes. But no, just got lucky.”
“Yeah, I heard ‘bout your friend passin’, sorry ‘bout that.” If Spike could flush, he would. He was standing in Buffy’s living room, having a normal conversation with her. Suddenly the spot of wood under Spikes shoe was interesting as he studied it.
“Don’t be, Frank was ready to make the final journey.” Buffy smiled slightly at the memory of the 85 year old business man. She always thought he was just tending bar for the money, not for the hell of it. She chuckled at the memories of the cranky old man.
“Yeah, still, must ‘urt like a bitch.” Spike looked up as Buffy walked around the living room to round a bar.
“Yeah, well. Let’s drink to it. Still like Jack?” Her eyebrow raised.
“You know it. But of course Jimmy and Jose are my friends, too.”
Buffy chuckled nerviously as she directed her attention to her sister who just sat down on a deep blue comfortable looking sofa. “My usual.” Buffy walked around the front of the bar and set Spike’s glass of Jack Daniels and Dawn’s wine cooler down on the coffee table. She went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water for herself. She motioned for Spike to sit next to Dawn as she sat down opposite from them on a matching blue sofa. It was all too strange to see Spike again, especially in her house. All her memories and feelings of their past relationship started to bubble in her brain, cautioning her of the danger he presents.
“So, you two, what brings you to paradise?” Buffy tried to stomp down the bitch inside her and have a pleasant conversation, until either gave her reason for Bitchy Buffy to emerge. Dawn answered Buffy explaining that Spike came back into town, looking for her. Dawn did not mention he really was there to grieve for Buffy’s demise. She knew that Spike would not want Buffy to know that the only reason he stepped foot back into Sunnydale was when he thought Buffy was dead. Spike stayed quiet, studying Buffy’s reactions to Dawns explanation. On the outside, she seemed to believe everything that Dawn said at face value, nodding and glancing from Dawn to Spike every couple minutes. He could tell, she was just acting, trying to make them think she was taking the explanation at face value. He could always see into her. Always know what she was thinking. Her eyes weren’t cold, but they weren’t any where near warm. It seemed that Buffy was just taking the information in and processing it, without emotion. Evidently the return trip from the hospital had put the damper on her good mood about him being here. He better pad himself know for the eventual blow up in his direction. Whenever Dawn said something remotely funny, Buffy would smile or chuckle, yet the gaiety didn’t seem to enter her eyes. Always weary, always gauging, always adapting to the surroundings.
“So, you are telling me, after what? Six years you just happen to go back to Sunnydale? Isn’t that a little convenient?”
Dawn and Spike glanced at each other, both resembling deer caught in head lights. Just thirty seconds ago, Buffy was laughing and smiling along with Dawn. “Um, well, yeah.”
“You know what I think?” Buffy pointed to Spike. “I think you over heard some demon talk about a new slayer. And you thought that I must have died, again by the way, for a new one to be called. Then you thought it would be ‘safe’ for you to come back to Sunnydale. Am I close?” Spike and Dawn nodded. “Now, I don’t know how you figured out that it wasn’t me, but you did. I have to accept that. I have to accept a lot of things. Don’t I?” Buffy glared at Dawn at her last statement. “But what I don’t have to accept is you two coming to MY home, blasting smoke up my ass, and expecting me to play the dumb girl.” Buffy got up from the couch and started to pace in front of them. “What did you think? I would open my arms and accept you back into my life?” Duh, Buffy almost did that at the hospital. Spike looked at her warily, ready for an attack. She was always unpredictable. “OK, I did, at first. I mean, how did you two expect me to react to something like that?” Buffy caught Dawn’s eye, knowing her sister knew how Buffy felt about Spike. Only a little over one month ago while Dawn was visiting they got so sopping drunk that Buffy told Dawn she still wasn’t over her feelings for Spike. How she thought she loved him then and still. “Bam, there you two are, just like old times. Fucking up my life. And yes, I finally have a life!” She glared back to Dawn. “I fucking made sure YOU didn’t have to quit school to work in some grease pit that didn’t even make ends meet at the end of the month. I made sure you COULD have a life. And what do you do? Drag up my past, right as I round the corner to the future. Boy, thanks, Dawn. You are SUCH a good sister.” Dawn looked at Buffy. This isn’t the way it was supposed to go. Buffy was supposed to be happy Spike was here, that Dawn made Spike come. Not attack her and for all intents and purposes call her ungrateful and a bad sister. She was supposed to get a little miffed and talk the past out so they could move on.
“Bloody hell, Slayer! Now wait a minute, she doesn’t deserve this…” Spike jumped up, ready to defend Dawn.
“Oh, don’t you start on me. She deserves all of this.” Buffy waved her arms around. “Everything I did was for her. Every painful step I took was so she didn’t have to take it.” Buffy stopped, took a deep breath and continued softly looking and Dawn’s tear streaked face, “Everything I sacrificed was for you.” Buffy stepped away. “Dawn you know how I feel about everything, yet you couldn’t even warn me? Give me a couple days warning, a days warning, an hours waning? Give me at least five minutes warning? Nope, you had to just shove all my past failings into my face again, without a moments notice?” Dawn nodded. This discussion went past Spike, this discussion was years in the making. Spike looked at the two sisters, not understanding the undertones of the argument. This was no longer about Spike and Dawn showing up unexpectedly. This was more than Spike’s and Buffy’s past relationship.
“I don’t know what is goin’ on between you two, but I know both of your emotions are ‘igh right now and maybe….”
“Maybe you should stay out of it, Spike, you are right you have no idea you WEREN’T around, were you? Maybe if you were, you would know exactly WHAT is going on.” Buffy’s eyes flashed triumph for cutting him so deep, like he did her when he left, but it quickly dissipated. “Dawn knows what I am talking about, don’t you Dawn?” She cooed sarcastically. “Maybe if she would ever grow up and think about something other than the end of her nose, she will explain exactly what I mean.”
Dawn looked up and the pair who where glaring at each other. “Stop it!” The two (former) enemies moved their heads in unison to look at Dawn. “Ok, I know I sprang this on you, I’m sorry. But he was going to leave town, I had to stop him.” She pointed a long finger in Spike’s direction and then redirected it towards Buffy. “You wouldn’t stop him the last time, but I did this time. It isn’t fair for him, to live with your memory and not know what you know. And I know you know what I am talking about.” Dawn wagged her finger. “You two have unresolved issues and if you two can look beyond YOUR noses maybe you two can resolve it.” Dawn jumped up. “This argument isn’t about Spike, or me, or us showing up. This is about you facing the issues you said you were ready to face. Was it a lie?” Dawn held her hands out palms up and whispered, “Was it a lie?”
Buffy shook her head. “This isn’t about that, Dawn. That is between me and my past and who ever was in the past. This is about you pouncing on me and expecting me to go along with whatever story you concoct without questions. You never even flinched when I told you were blowing smoke up my ass, so I must have been right. Dawn, you should know better than to swoop down on me with this.”
“Look ‘ere, you Bloody BINT. Stop ‘arassing ‘er. So you two ‘ave issues, so we ‘ave issues. This yelling thing you are doing? Isn’t goin’ to change that we came ‘ere. Isn’t goin’ to change that I am ‘ere. Isn’t goin’ to change that you actually ‘ugged me at the ‘ospital. Isn’t goin’ to change that I still ‘ave feelings for you. You can’t change the past and neither can I . But we can move on. Is you would stop bloody yellin’ at us.”
“Oh no you don’t. Spike, I’m sorry, but you can’t just come in here…”
“Bloody hell, did you just apologize to me? This is got to be a red letter day!” Spike smirked, proud that he actually could call her out.
“Shut up, Spike. For once, just shut up!” Buffy fumed. “What I was going to say was you can’t just walk in here and expect me to leave off where we did. A lot has changed. I have changed. I am sure you have, too.” Buffy whispered the last sentence.
“Oh, now you can admit I can change?” Spike liked how this was going. Six years ago, Buffy wouldn’t even admit this stuff. Now she was so seething, the words were just tumbling out of her mouth.
“You don’t give up, do you Spike? Look, I know you can change. There, happy?” At his nod, she continued. “But that means squat. You know that? The past? Means squat, too. But this? All this started because Dawn had to see my reaction. Isn’t that right?” Buffy glared at Dawn. “Couldn’t get over it, could you? Couldn’t get over that I broke free.”
“You know what? You are a bitch, Buffy. You are selfish, too. SO that makes you a selfish bitch. Not one month ago, you told me what you were willing to do to fix the past with Spike, and here you are making it about me.” Spike looked at the two sisters. This was too much. Too much emotion. To much information. She wanted to fix things with him, but now it seems that is thrown out of the window. Not with her yelling at him.
Spike turned around and headed towards the back doors. He had to get out. Had to think the next course of action. “See you birds, later, after you two cool down.”
“Where do you think you are going?” Buffy screeched behind him.
“Told you, OUT, you Bloody Bint.” With that, Spike quickly escaped the emotionally charged house and started to walk down the beach. He didn’t know where he was going, but with all the revelations that occurred, he had a lot to think about. Back at the house, World War Three erupted.
“I can’t believe you just let him go, he came to see you and you can be is the biggest bitch in the world, more so now than in the past.” Dawn screamed at Buffy as she tried to search for the retreating form of Spike on the beach.
“Oh, Spike can take care of himself. This has nothing to do with him. This argument is about us, or more to the point the way you think you can do what you please.”
“Oh give me a break, Buffy. I know you are happy to see him. I know he is happy to see you, too. Just go after him and bring him back.”
“No,” Buffy crossed her arms and shook her head.
“What do you mean ‘No?”
“As in, I am not doing your bidding young lady. You can’t keep springing surprises on me and expect me to roll over.” Buffy’s voice returned to normal.
“What do you mean by that, aren’t you happy to see Spike?”
“Of course, Dawn you know that. But a little warning about it would have been nice.”
“I tried Buffy, I called the club and talked to Sam. I left messages on your machine. You never returned them.”
“Yeah, I was a little busy with Emily and business to drop everything and call you, unless you wanted me to call you at 3 in the morning?”
“But I never knew something was wrong.”
“No, you never thought. You know who you remind me of?” Dawn shook her head no, “You remind me of myself at your age. Other than the Slayer stuff and saving the world, I only thought of my needs. That’s what you did. Did you even think how I would react to Spike? Or how Spike might react to me?” Dawn didn’t like this. She wasn’t like Buffy. She only thought about how happy they would be. She knew both missed each other immensely. At least, that’s how is should have gone if Buffy wasn’t so stubborn.
“Of course, you two are supposed to talk, not yell at each other. And then you two would be happy.”
“I guess in Dawn’s world, that’s how it goes. But in the real world? We don’t get to talk it out all nice and calm. Spike and I bring out the worst in each other. We bring out pride, stubbornness, and passion. Those qualities don’t lend themselves to a nice adult conversation with each other. This is how we talk: lots of yelling.”
“That’s the lamest excuse I ever heard.” Dawn wiggled her finger at Buffy.
“No, it’s not an excuse it’s us. Ever wonder why we were such good enemies? Why we enjoyed fighting each other? Why we never could win against each other but kept on trying? But this is neither here nor there. Spike and I will find a way to talk, I promise you, so stop pushing, ok?” Dawn took a step back. She had promised to work on talking to Spike, but Spike as no where near here. And he doesn’t know the terrain.
“Maybe you should go after him.”
“No.”
“Oh come on Buffy, he doesn’t know where he is, he could be lost.”
“Trust me he isn’t lost.” Buffy knew this because she could feel him, no two hundred feet away, waiting, listening to their argument, protecting Dawn from Buffy’s words.
“You are so stubborn sometimes.
“Yeah, well, so are you. Now, we have to talk. You can’t just come down here,
invade my life, without the slightest bit of warning. You’ve done it three
times now, and it has to stop.”
“I’m sorry, but I thought you would be happy.”
“Dawn, this isn’t about being happy, this is about you thinking it is OK to bring your luggage to me, drop it on my doorstep, and then running away.”
“I didn’t mean…”
“I know. I know you don’t mean to, but you do and it is becoming a habit. I may no longer be your guardian. But Mom entrusted me to raise you right. And at the moment, I don’t think I have.”
“Buffy, don’t say that. Yeah we have had hard times, but I’ve never gone with needing anything. You always made sure I had all the basics and some of the not so basics. And you even are helping me with school.”
“Dawn, the only reason you haven’t gone needing anything is because of Dad. If he refused to help with the house and your school supplies, you would have gone without a lot. Which brings me back to Number One time you drop and run.” Dawn had the decency to look ashamed. “Bringing our father to my home in Colorado so I could tell him to stay out of your life was a world of wrong.”
“I know, Buff, we’ve been through this…”
“Yeah, but it seems that I have to go over it again so you understand you keep repeating the same action.”
“But see, I’m not running.” Dawn giggled, “Spike did.”
Buffy chuckled at that, knowing the vampire outside heard it and started to pace. “No, not now, but I know you. You are planning on going back in a day or so, just long enough to make sure we aren’t killing each other.” Dawn nodded, her sister knew her too well. “So you may not be running, but in the future you plan to. Like I told you, this place isn’t some place you run to or from. This place makes you face your issues. You may not run from this, Spike, or me. You may leave or come when you are ready, but you are no longer allowed to run. Are we understanding each other?” Dawn nodded again. “Ok, on to Number Two…”
“Ok, Ok. I get it. Don’t have to go to number two or number three. I promise there wont be a number four, OK? Is that what you want to hear?” Buffy looked at Dawn and held her arms outstretched. Dawn quickly came into the embrace. “Are we good?”
Yeah, we are good.” Buffy felt the familiar presence retreat. He made sure they weren’t going to kill each other, but he still needed time. Buffy could respect that. “Look, Dawn, I will go after Spike, but not right now. He needs his space.” Dawn seemed to understand and nodded with agreement. “Hungry?”
~*~*~*~
“Buffy, it’s four, he still hasn’t come back, will you please go find him, now?” Dawn whined for the sixty-ith time. The two sisters were sitting out on the deck talking and playing cards. Buffy hadn’t felt Spike’s presence since he left after Dawn’s and her fight.
“Guess I better, since I have no idea where he went.” Buffy got up and headed down to the beach trying to follow the trail her Spike-sense could pick up.
She could see his hair reflect the moon light in the distance. He was the same old vampire. Moody as ever. He was sitting in the sand, looking out into the ocean. As she moved closer, she could tell that he knew she was coming by the sudden tightening of his shoulders and straightening of his spine. He did not move to look at her or get up to walk away again. She quietly neared, afraid he would bolt again. Silently, she sat down two feet from him, looking out into the ocean. They both concentrated on the sounds and the visual landscape coming from the sea, as if all their answers would be found there. His body betrayed him as it relaxed, knowing it didn’t have to run away. It’s now or never, no witnesses to over hear their much needed conversation. “Spike,” Buffy whispered. “Why?”
Her soft voice broke through his thoughts running around in his mind and he swiveled his head towards her and said harshly, “Why what, pet?” She met his tear filled eyes with her own. She licked her lips slowly in anticipation. “Why did I try to rape you?” All the emotion he was feeling from the previous week ran through his words.
She snorted. “No, that’s not what I mean, I have that answer.” She moved her eyes back to the horizon in the sea. She knew she pushed him away and forced his hand that night. Not that he didn’t have blame, but so did she. During their sexcapades, no meant yes. And a little pain was just made the pleasure all that much more. If she stopped and thought about their relationship then, they wouldn’t have been in the situation now. Finally, she whispered, “I was so terrible to you. Not very nice of me to run to you and then push you away once I got what I needed. I never gave you what you needed, never stuck around.” She looked down to the sand. “I pushed you into a desperate situation, and I am very sorry that I did that.” Spike looked at her like she just grown two heads and three more feet.
“What?” He roared. “No woman deserves that. You didn’t ask for it.” Realizing he missed what she meant, Buffy decided to give the speech she has been practicing for 3 years, just incase she ran into him.
“I didn’t say I deserved it, or that I asked for it.” Her eyes came back to Spike hopeful that he could understand what she knew. “I just don’t think the blame rest solely on your shoulders.” She moved a couple inches closer and took his hand in hers. “I was terrible, I didn’t realize what I was running to or from. I was so confused at the emotions that I felt, when I felt them.” She squeezed his hand as he looked at their entwined fingers. “The desperation you felt that night… I didn’t understand then…but ever since you left, I ‘ve felt it, too.” He looked up at her ironic smile. Finally he felt a little bubble of hope start in the pit of his undead heart. Could she really have grown up and realized that he truly loved her and didn’t mean for their relationship to go that way? “I never knew how I felt, not until long, long after you left. When,” she paused for a moment and withdrew her hand but looked into his eyes, keeping some sort of contact, “when I said I couldn’t love you, I wasn’t telling you the whole truth.” He looked at her expectantly until she continued. “I couldn’t love. At all. I was ripped from heaven and put back into hell. How was I supposed to find love, how was I supposed to care about love? I didn’t know how. All I knew is that the love I felt in heaven didn’t compare to any of the feelings I found here.” He was about to remind her of her sister and her friends, but she kept going, “Of course, I cared for those around me, I had duties to do what was right, but love? I couldn’t, not only I did not want to, but I was too scared to. Even for Dawn, I cared for her, but love?” She shivered at the thought of her mental and emotional state all those years ago. “I am not sure it was there.”
He started to interrupt her, but she held her hand up to stop him. “No, if you don’t let me finish you will never hear it.” She smiled again, this time it hit her eyes. “It is true I ran to you to feel, the only time I felt anything was when I was around you, but I never told you what I felt, did I?” He nodded at her question, afraid of what she was going to say. Disgust was probably on the tip of her tongue. “At first, yeah, to me, it was just sex, wonderful, earth moving orgasmic sex, but each time I was around you, I began to feel something else, something deeper. It really scarred me. At the end, it was something else. Something I never felt before. Not even when I was with Angel.” Spike stiffened at the mention of his sire and competitor. “I ran away from those feelings I had. Scared to think about what they were or meant. I was trained to kill demons, but all I wanted to do was be with a demon, You.” She looked over to see how he was reacting to her little speech. He was just looking at her with his piercing blue eyes. She felt he could see her soul each time her did that. He stayed quiet knowing she had more to share. “I am… no was the Vampire Slayer, not the Vampire Lover, yet some how, I loved two. How did I come to fall in love with you?” Buffy questioned quietly. “Let you touch me in ways no one ever had or has since then. I touched you in ways, I never thought I would ever touch anyone. And the most confusing thing was I knew you loved me, even without a soul. I don’t know why that confused me back then. People with souls hurt the ones they love everyday. And even, some people are even incapable of love. So the soul has nothing to do with love.” Both sat quietly looking into each other’s eyes, thinking over what was just said. Finally, she got up and held out her hand. “We better be getting back, the sun is coming, Dawn’s worried, and this beach doesn’t need more dust on it,” She tried to joke. He looked out on the horizon, realizing he was so enthralled with her talking, he didn’t even notice the waiting dawn. She laid the past out on the line. How she felt back then. He finally understood why she ran away, but kept coming back for more. It was more than an addiction, he provided a feeling that she was yearning for since her trip to heaven, but was too afraid of to accept. Now, the only thing that plagued his mind was how she felt now.
“’ow long?” He whispered, wanting her to continue with her thoughts, knowing that she might lose the nerve to go on.
“Don’t worry, you know too much for me to chicken out to tell you the rest,” She giggled and shook her hand to remind him to get up. He took it and she helped him get up. The quietly made it back to her house. Both realizing, they were still holding hands. As she stepped onto the covered portion of the deck outside her kitchen, she let go of his hand and turned to look into his eyes. “Tonight, I will call off work. We have lots more to discuss. But for now, I want to tell you something really important.” He looked at her with all his emotions written on his face. She stepped forward, “I am tired and stopped running from everything. My problems, people, my emotions. I am ready to live once again, and hopefully you will see that I am worthy enough to live it with you.” She stepped closer and planted a chaste kiss onto his cheek. “Good morning, William.” With that she stepped inside with him as the sun made its way across the horizon. He stopped half way through the kitchen and grabbed her wrist to bring her to stand in front of him. Slowly, she turned to met his gaze.
“Buffy,” Spike gasped as he brought his arms around her to bring her closer for a hug. They stood there in the kitchen, embracing each other. Both having tears running down their cheeks both in sadness for the past and happiness in what is to come.
Buffy finally stepped a little back, but still holding onto Spike. “Come on, Big Bad, it’s time you got some sleep,” with that, she took his hand and lead him down the hallway and up the stairs.
The house as deathly still when Dawn awoke. After the initial meeting and Spike running down the beach, Dawn was worried she made a mistake by telling him Buffy was alive and bringing him to her. Hopefully Buffy found him before the sun did, Dawn wasn’t sure if Spike would recognize this house from the beach. Dawn crept quietly into the bathroom to change out of her nightclothes. Listening at the door, Dawn heard nothing. She slips out of the bathroom and walks purposefully to her sister’s bedroom. She opens it slightly to look in and gasps. Dawn never thought she would ever see the image that she was seeing right then. On the big king size bed was her fully clothed sister, her back propped up on the headboard, and in her lap was a certain sleeping vampire. All the blinds and curtains were drawn to protect him from the harsh light of day. The deep purple room, looked even darker. Buffy’s fingers were running through Spike’s hair gently, almost like she was petting him and it almost sounded like someone was purring. Buffy looked up at Dawn’s gasp and smiled. “Shhhh, he’s sleeping.” Buffy motioned for Dawn to come in.
“What do you think you are doing?” Dawn hissed. “If he knew what you are doing…”
“Shhh, or he will wake up and I think he knows what I am doing. After I found him, we talked, OK? He agreed to come home right before the dawn, but as you know, most of the house has windows with no blinds. So the only logical thing was for him to sleep here. After I brought him back, I was about to leave, but he asked me to stay here and just hold him.”
“When did you start doing what Spike asked you to?” Dawn accused, trying to hurt her sister’s feelings as much as her sister hurt Spike. IT was no fair that they blew up at each other and then lay down like nothing happened.
“Dawn, this isn’t the time or place. After Spike wakes up naturally, you can yell at me all you want for whatever reason you seem to be mad at me for. But right now, he is sleeping and he needs the rest.” Not to mention that Buffy herself is exhausted. The amount of emotion that ran through her when she looked into his eyes when he stepped around the corner would have tired her out to sleep for two days straight and add to that the emotion behind her earlier speech to Spike and Dawn. Not only was Buffy physically tired, but she was emotionally drained, also.
“Fine, whatever, just don’t hurt him. He has been through a lot.”
“I know.” Buffy looked down at the sleep vampire.
“No, I don’t think you do. But you will,” Dawn said cryptically. “I am going to the beach. Maybe pick up some beach bum.” She was trying to change the subject. Knowing how Buffy acted towards Spike and knowing how it effected him was too much for her to bare.
“Yeah, I am sure Sam would let you do that.” Buffy giggled at the thought of her best friend scarring away all the guys around Dawn. Smiling at the thought of Dawn being angry and not realizing that Sam was being territorial because he liked her, Buffy shook her head.
“See, I don’t have to worry about
that, he isn’t going to be there.” Dawn smiled to herself thinking of the big
guy ‘protecting’ her from all the guys. He would be in that swim suit, too.
Mmmm, yummy Sam in a bathing suit.
“Oh, he would if I called him and told him you were looking for a beach bum to bring home to have your way with.”
“Buffy you wouldn’t!” Dawn protested.
“If you wake Spike up, I will,” Buffy scolded.
“Fine, whatever. See you later.” Dawn turned around to go back to her room trying not to snicker. It was strange to see Spike laying there with his eyes wide open, looking straight at her while Buffy had no idea he was awake for the whole conversation. As she turned around, Spike closed his eyes and enjoyed the nurturing Buffy. She seemed to have grown up. Not only that her body was different, much softer than he remembered, but she also seem to have emotionally matured. From what she indicated before, she stopped running away from her feelings. Not only from the past but her present and future feelings. Spike was amazed that she admitted that she was feeling love or something close to it back then. He knew she felt something, but he never could get her to admit it. Every time he pushed for clarification, she would shut down and run off. If he tried to stop her, she would punch him in the nose and run off. Either way, she ran away. But this beauty that was stroking his hair wasn’t running. In fact, he heard her heart slow down as she must be drifting into sleep.
After Dawn left the room, Buffy shut her eyes and started to replay the conversation that she just had. What had Dawn meant when she said Buffy had no idea what Spike has been through. Evidently, Spike hadn’t told her yet. She could wait, he already took the first step and came here to see her. Buffy still couldn’t believe that Spike was here, in her arms. She thought about it for years, dreamt about the long nights they could spend together on the beach under the moonlight. Hopefully, she would still be able to get to live those fantasies out. After the initial shock of seeing him, the subsequent fight, she didn’t think he would be able to sit in the same room, let alone sleep in her arms. Slowly, her brain shut down as she fell into deep sleep. Vaguely she felt a weight move on her lap and something tugging on her legs so she could slip down to a horizontal position. The last thing she felt was a comforter spreading out on her and his body moving back next to her, wrapping his arms around her. Both slept peacefully.
~*~*~*~
Spike woke up with a start, automatically reaching across the bed for her, but all he found was a cold bed. She must have left a while ago. Quietly, he got up and headed for the door, but before he could turn the handle, he remembered Buffy’s earlier declaration that the house was mostly windows without blinds. He was stuck. In her bedroom. Filled with her personal belongs. A wide grin spread across Spike’s face and mischief filled his eyes. He strode over to her dresser and opened the top drawer. Silly, Buffy such a creature of habit. She still kept her unmentionables at the top. As he rummaged through the drawer, he heard a child’s cry from outside. He strode over to the drapes and tried to peer out without getting hit by the harmful sun rays. He looked down to the porch off of Buffy’s house and noticed the little girl he must have just heard. But she wasn’t crying, she was laughing. “Again, Aunt Lizzy, Again!” The little tot squealed as Buffy swung her little body around in the swimming pool. Spike watched as the girl that couldn’t be more than four held on to Buffy as the frolicked in the pool. Buffy must have felt his eyes because she looked up at the window and smiled. She took the little girl she called ‘Jenna’ out of the pool and started to dry her off. Quickly she dried herself off, and they started to head towards the house. Spike just stood there staring out, Buffy never mentioned a little girl, but she certainly looked like Buffy. Little pig tails, small little body in a cute bathing suit. If he found out who did this to her and left her single, he would throttle them.
Buffy quietly slipped into the bedroom as Spike was lost in his thoughts. She came up behind him and put her hand on his back. He jumped and turned around. “I know the house is filled with windows, I’ll fix it soon, if we are really careful, you can avoid a lot of direct light. Would you like to come out and meet Jenna? She is a sweet girl.” Buffy turned around, grabbed some clothes, and headed for the bathroom to get redressed. Spike stood there with his jaw clenched and his hands flexing as he tried to regain some sort of control. His anger was not meant for an innocent child. Buffy walked out of the bathroom dressed in a light pink top and short set. “Come on, Spike.” She grabbed his hand as she headed for the door. Opening it slowly to make sure he wasn’t hit with any rays, she walked out with the vampire in tow. They made their way down the hallway and down the stairs to greet the little pixie sitting at the kitchen table drawing a picture.
“Hey, Jenna, this is my friend, Spike, “ Buffy talked in sweet tones as she addressed the little girl.
Jenna raised her head from her project and smiled sweetly at the man standing in front of her. “Are you like my mommy’s friends that sleep over?”
Buffy choked. Knowing Jenna’s mom probably had a different ‘friend’ sleep over each night.
“Sweetie, Spike is my friend and yes, he slept here over night. Spike, this is Jenna, Sam’s daughter.” Buffy looked at Spike as she addressed him. Obviously from what the little girl said, Buffy wasn’t Jenna’s mother. She must be babysitting for Sam. A thrill coursed through Spike’s body. Now that he got a better look at the girl, she didn’t look at all like Buffy except the pigtails. Her skin was a much deeper shade, her eyes were deep brown and her hair was not as smooth.
Spike sat down next to the little girl and asked, “Do you mind ‘f I draw a little bit, too?” The little girl’s eyes filled with wonder, adults usually didn’t want to draw with her. She nodded and handed him a piece of paper that she was drawing on. Buffy smiled at Spike as he watched the little girl draw with a purple crayon. Buffy silently asked Spike if he was OK so she could leave the room. He nodded as his attention was nabbed by the four year old.
“You draw, A’nt Lizzy, I drawin’ Daddy.” She ordered and Spike complied with mischief in his eyes. Buffy walked out of the room to start straightening the house. Five minutes later, Dawn breezed in through the French doors of the kitchen and stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Spike drawing with Jenna.
“A’nt DAWN!!!!!!!” The little girl screamed when she looked up. She jumped off the chair and ran to jump on Dawn. Dawn lifted the girl with ease only achieved with practice.
“Hey there, Jenna, how are you?” Dawn asked and looked over at Spike with a smile. He sat down his crayon, realizing he was still drawing and the little girl was not there anymore.
“Good, make me some chocolate milk.” The little girl had more in common with Buffy, bossiness. Buffy heard Dawn’s entrance and came back into the room.
“Hmmm Hmmm, what do we say, missy?”
“Please??” Jenna batted her eyes at Dawn and Buffy scolded.
“That’s better, no chocolate milk, just plain of vanilla.”
“Banilla!!!!!!!” The girl squealed. Dawn put the girl down as Buffy reached for the milk in the refrigerator and a glass from the cupboard. Jenna ran out of the room to go get some toys.
“What’s she doing here?” Dawn asked and sat down next to Spike at the table.
“Her mom came here, pounding on the front door like a banshee at nine this morning, insisting since I stood up for Sam in the courtroom that I must take her today. Evidently, she had an ‘interview’ today and couldn’t find Sam.” Dawn rolled her eyes and was about to comment on the poor excuse of a mother, but Jenna flew into the room with a teddy bear clutched in her arms and she climbed on Dawn’s lap. Buffy sat the glass of milk in front of Jenna.
“Um, Dawn, I have a couple errands to run, could you watch Jenna for a little bit?” Spike’s eyebrows raised, wondering why she didn’t ask him.
“Sure thing, Buff.”
“Lizzy, she’s Lizzy.” Jenna piped in.
“Yeah, she is your Aunt Lizzy, but she is my Buffy.” Dawn said as she tickled the squirming bundle on her lap.
“Spike, could you come here for a second?” Buffy asked on her way up to her room. Spike dutifully followed, but a little hurt that she didn’t trust him enough to watch over the pint size. He followed her into the bedroom. “Spike, I hope you don’t take offense that I asked Dawn to watch over Jenna while I go run the errands, but Jenna knows Dawn. And if Jenn’s bitch of a mother ever found out I left her with a man she just met five minutes ago, Sam would go back into court. No matter that she was the one that dropped Jenna off here.” Spike nodded, realizing that her logic was right and she really didn’t mean to offend him. Buffy smiled up at Spike, “I’ll be back shortly. If you want to get any sleep, I suggest locking the door. Jenna tends to get a little nosy.” She winked and walked out of the room and downstairs.
~*~*~*~
Buffy came back with in the hour carrying steaks for dinner and a couple containers of blood for Spike. She breezed into the kitchen to put her purchases away and noticed Dawn sitting at the table. “Where’s Jenna?”
Dawn smiled and informed her that Sam came by to pick Jenna up. Evidently he got a message from his Ex about where he could find their daughter. Buffy shrugged and continued to put stuff away. “Where’s Spike?”
“I think sleeping, he locked the door, so I don’t know.” Buffy giggled. “So you two had the talk?”
Buffy shook her head, “Nope, not THE talk, just the start of it. When I finally found him, it was almost pre dawn, not much talking time. But he knows much more now than he did last night.” Buffy smiled a little. “I think he is willing to stay and talk things out.” She heard movement upstairs, Spike must be awake and listening in on the conversation.
“Does that make you happy?” Dawn prodded, also hearing a distinct sound of Spike.
“Well, it doesn’t make me unhappy. Dawn, you know I don’t know how I feel about it. I mean it’s been six years and we both have changed. But I do know we still have that passion that made us wild in the first place. If we can put reigns on the passion and stubbornness long enough to work stuff out, I’d be happy.” She heard the foot falls of Spike on the steps. He wanted in on the conversation. Both women looked over to the door from the great room, waiting for the object of their thoughts to appear.
Spike heard the conversation that the sister’s were having about him. Buffy actually admitted that she wanted to work things out and that she wanted him around. He wanted to be around, but in more ways than one. Sleeping in her bed, surround by her things, her scent was driving him crazy. Last night, he was sure he still loved her even more than he had in the past. She was so powerful, not physically but emotionally too. After Buffy got their father to help with the money issue, Dawn made her push him away for her. Spike knew there was no love lost between father and older daughter so he knew what kind of pride Buffy had to swallow to ask for help from her father. She may even hate her father more than she hated him. This revelation showed Spike that Buffy truly changed.
After she left the house, he took her advice and locked her bedroom door. The little girl, Jenna, followed him upstairs after a couple minutes and tried the door. Dawn came up after her and carried her away. Spike smiled at himself he still had it with the ladies. He sat down on her bed and took an unnecessary breath. Her scent surrounded him, making him hard. The shear sexual power her scent exuded was driving him crazy. After he heard Dawn and the little girl go out to the beach, he sat himself down at the edge of Buffy’s bed with a piece of lingerie he found in her top drawer. He held the silk up to his nose and breathed in and not noticing any other scent other than hers which meant she wore this when she was alone, no other man has touched it. He slowly unzipped his pants and reached in to massage his already stiff cock. She was truly beautiful and she wanted him back into her life. He knew that wasn’t just a line to get him back to the house. He breathed deeply into the silky fabric again. Buffy. Spike laid back on the pillows on the bed. Buffy’s bed. Up and down. Slow and steady. Up. Spike thought about his hand is it was Buffy. Down. He squeezed the base and touched that sensitive spot behind his balls. Mmmmm, Buffy. Up. Reaching the tip he squeezed gently as his precum oozed out. Down. He thought about the argument the girls had last night. From what was said and not said, Dawn seemed to run to Buffy to clean up her messes. Including that wanker father, Hank. No don’t think about him, take another sniff of Buffy’s lingerie. Up. Buffy wanted him around, wanted to work things out. She forgave him. She’s moved on and healed. Down. She’s moved past her heavenly visit and decided this world wasn’t too bad. Ahhhhhh, he achieved paradise. Well, the only paradise he has found since the last night he was with Buffy. He looked around and found some tissues to clean up his mess. Spike looked around to discard the wad of tissues and couldn’t find any, so he went to the bathroom. Inside he found a large sunken in tub and many bath oils adorning the ledge of the tub. Spike heard the front door open and a man call out. A man was familiar enough to just walk into Buffy’s house. Spike was enraged, but quickly figured out it was Sam looking for the little girl. He absent-mindly picked up various bottles of oils, smelling each one. Finally, he picked up an almost empty bottle and smelled it. Mmm, she still liked her strawberries and vanilla scent. His cock stood at attention again. It has been too long since Spike smelled Buffy, but his body remembered what it was supposed to feel. Quickly, he poured some of the liquid in his hand and went to pleasuring himself again. When, not if, Buffy and him got to the point to be intimate again, he didn’t want to ruin it by spilling his load too soon. She usually had at least two orgasms before he would summit to his pleasure, Spike didn’t want her to be disappointed. If things kept going the way they were, all she would have to do is look sideways at him. After he finished his second time, he heard Buffy’s come into the house. He listened in the bedroom, willing her to come up to him, but she was talking to Dawn about them. He quickly got dressed and headed downstairs.