One Special Night

DISCLAIMER: "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" is copyrighted to Warner Brothers and Mutant Enemy Productions. I retain rights to the plot, but not the characters. This story is meant for enjoyment purposes only. No infringement is intended.

AUTHOR: Katrina

SYNOPSIS: AU: All Human. A heated encounter with cynical stranger, William Saunders, on a winter's night gives sensible, Elizabeth Summers a chance to act out of character and leaves her with memories she'll treasure forever. But then, he unexpectedly reappears in her life and wants to pick up where they left off...

ONE SPECIAL NIGHT

CHAPTER 10 - A Woman Of Many Disguises

"Don't forget that Liam Connell is coming today Uncle Rupert," Elizabeth reminded her relative as he followed her into the kitchen. They'd just finished breakfast and William was upstairs getting some papers that he needed for the University.

"I won't," Giles assured his niece with a smile. "I'm quite looking forward to meeting the young man. He's done much to improve his company since he took over, I believe."

Elizabeth nodded absently, one eye on the door as her stomach knotted in anticipation of William's return. Surprisingly, breakfast hadn't been the ordeal she was expecting. William had been attentive and polite, even going so far as to insisting that she finish eating while he got up to make another pot of tea.

Hearing the sound of him coming back down the stairs, she busied herself with the task of washing up by hand so that there was no need for her to do anything other than throw a curt 'goodbye' over her shoulder to them as he and her uncle left.

With the two men gone, Elizabeth felt herself completely relax for the first time in what felt like days. She quickly cleaned the rest of the dishes then left them on the side to drain and went upstairs.

Before she started work on her uncle's book, she needed to give the bedrooms a quick tidy and hoover. It wasn't a job she particularly liked but it needed to be done. Her uncle was generally fastidious when it came to his study but had a tendency, like most men, to be untidy in the bedroom and bathroom. Years as a bachelor had taught him not to bother unless he had company.

At that thought, Elizabeth let out an involuntary shudder as the idea of her uncle and 'company' sharing the same intimacy that she and William had made her cringe...so didn't need to go there!

After cleaning Giles' room, Elizabeth knew she had to do William's next. She stood outside the door for a good ten minutes, her hand reaching for the doorknob and being retracted at the last second countless times before she finally entered. Telling herself that he was just another one of her uncle's colleague's and nothing more, she cautiously walked in and closed the door behind her quietly.

To say she was surprised at how neat and tidy the room appeared was an understatement. The bed was made and the only piece of clothing that was on view was William's leather duster that was draped casually over a chair by the window. In fact, if it wasn't for that one item, Elizabeth would think that no-one was actually occupying the room.

Her eyes were drawn back to his coat and she slowly walked over to the chair. It was the same one he'd worn the fatal night they'd met, she was certain. Reaching out, she ran a hand over the worn leather marvelling at how soft it felt beneath her touch. She picked it up and brought it to her face inhaling William's unique scent...the used leather retaining the lingering aroma of whatever spicy aftershave he used combining with the faint smell of cigarettes.

Subconsciously, her fingers curled tightly around the soft fabric as if it would give her support. Memories so sharp, so clear, so intensely real that she could feel their echo in the immediate reaction of her body, assailed her.

Now that it was too late to do anything about it, she understood the impetuosity, the need, the intensity that had made her act so out of character and throw caution to the wind. It had nothing to do with Dawn's engagement, nor with the fact that she was twenty-four and had still been a virgin.

No...somehow, against everything she'd believed about herself, she'd looked at William and had subconsciously wanted him. Not just any man...but one particular man...

William.

Unsteadily, she sat down on the bed still clutching his coat to her chest. She'd never wanted a man...not like that. Not the kind of wanting that was stronger than any other feeling she'd ever experienced, even with Parker.

She drew in a deep, shaky breath and looked out of the window when one of the bare branches of the tree outside scraped against the pane as it swayed in the sudden breeze.

In a few months those branches would be covered with leaves. In a few months, the overgrown borders in the garden would be a riot of colourful blooms. In a few months, William would be gone and she would be able to return to her safe, protected little world. She'd be free from all these tormenting thoughts that had her investigating every tiny feeling she had and free from those mesmerising blue eyes of his that seemed to be able to see right through her.

She got up and began pacing up and down the room still keeping a tight grip on the leather duster. So what if she had felt desire for William? She was only human, wasn't she? Surely she was allowed to have normal human feelings and failings?

As she'd told Willow, many other women had done what she had without tearing themselves up about it like she was doing. God, she could barely look at herself in the mirror without cringing. It'd been bad enough when she only had her own knowledge of her actions to contend with...but now there was William too. A man who had seen her at her most defenceless and unprotected.

She paused. Was that why she felt like she did? Lied like she had? Because she felt in some way that by giving herself to William that night, she'd exposed herself to him in a way that would always make her vulnerable?

She started pacing again. If only he wasn't here, she would've been able to cope then. Now it was beginning to haunt her...just as William had haunted her dreams every single night since then.

Coming to a stop in front of the window she stared out of it without seeing any of the view. Mentally, she was back inside the car with William, wrapped in his arms, loving the sensation of his bare flesh against her own, aching for the soft trail of his hands down her body...

With a soft tormented cry, she dropped his coat and closed her eyes as she leant her hot face against the cool glass. Why was she doing this to herself? She should be remembering that night with disgust, not this aching yearning that evoked both a physical and emotional loneliness that swelled inside her and made her eyes and throat sting with stupid, useless tears.

Crying over William? Why? He'd seen an opportunity and took it...just like any man would. And the only reason she was tormenting herself now was because she couldn't bear to accept the notion that she had desired a man without any further emotion being involved. But she'd be a greater fool if she had, she realised grimly...for it was far more dangerous to want William emotionally than to simply want him physically.

Opening her eyes, she looked through the window to the garden below and stared at the untidy borders full of weeds and tangled climbers. If her mind were a physical thing, she had no doubt that right now that would be exactly what it looked like.

Wiping her eyes, she stepped back and looked down at the coat lying on the floor. She picked it up and gently laid it over the chair letting her hand trail over it one more time before leaving.

After straightening her own bedroom, she grabbed the proof read notes for her uncle's book from her small desk by the window then headed downstairs. Next to Giles' study was a small room that they used as a library cum office. Full to the brim bookshelves lined each wall and in the middle sat a mahogany desk with a computer on top. She switched it on and waited for it to boot up then opened up the appropriate files and began transcribing.

Three hours and several tea's and coffee's later, she switched everything off. Angel was due in an hour and she wanted to shower and change before the publisher arrived. Leaving the notes on a stack of books on her desk, she jogged up the stairs and grabbed her toiletries and robe from her bedroom. She showered quickly then went back into her bedroom and dried her hair.

After donning fresh underwear, she chose to put on a knee length dark green straight skirt and coupled it with a deceptively form fitting pale green blouse that showed off her curves and brought out the colour of her eyes without her realising it.

She then applied a little make-up and told herself that the reason she was taking extra care wasn't because of William. Certainly not! It was just that it wouldn't hurt to make a good impression on Angel as it was down to him whether her uncle's book was published or not.

She went back downstairs and prepared some sandwiches and tea for her uncle and Angel then took them into the study. Just as she put the tray down, she heard the front door open. Her stomach muscles tightened as she heard Giles and William enter and head for the study. Unconsciously, her body took on a defensive stance going ramrod straight and her chin lifted defiantly as she realised her hope of William maybe going upstairs first wasn't to be.

"Ah, good, you've made some tea," Rupert declared as he walked in taking off his coat. "That wind was damned cold today, I could do with a nice hot cup." He looked around then back at his niece. "I take it our guest hasn't arrived as yet?"

"He should be here anytime now," Elizabeth replied automatically. For some reason she was finding it extremely difficult to remove her gaze from William. He was standing framed in the doorway, just watching her in a sober, unfathomable way that made her heart skip and pulse race.

Giles was still talking, but Elizabeth had lost all ability to concentrate on anything other than William. Her mouth went dry and she could feel herself begin to tremble inwardly. "I'd better get back to the kitchen and put the breakfast things away," she heard herself mutter mundanely. What the heck was the matter with her? Why did William have this power to provoke this intense awareness within her?

"Could you bring another cup back in with you, dear?" Giles said in response to Elizabeth's comment. "I'd like William to join us, he has experience with this sort of thing."

"Not much," the younger man denied self-effacingly. "A couple of small articles and a poetry book. Nothing on this scale."

Although he was speaking to Giles, William still kept his eyes firmly on Elizabeth and the older man paused for a moment as he realised that his niece was staring avidly back. A small smile graced his lips and he cleared his throat slightly then turned away and walked over to his desk. How had he not noticed such an obvious spark? Really, he was getting quite slow in his old age.

Elizabeth also noticed that William had yet to look away and wondered why he was deliberately trying to make her feel uncomfortable. Unless...

Her eyes widened. Unless, like her, he was physically incapable do so? Her heart gave a sudden leap and she felt sick and excited all at the same time. Stop it, she told herself firmly. Stop imagining things that simply don't exist. You know what he's really like and what he wants from you.

That thought was enough to bring her back to earth with such a hard thump that she actually felt the urge to retch. Managing to finally drag her gaze away from his, she put her head down and began to walk towards the door. When he didn't move away until she was almost abreast of him, her stomach lurched unpleasantly and she automatically looked up at him.

"Do you need me to help you with anything?" he offered politely.

Unable to force any words past her lips, she merely shook her head then brushed past him and hurried into the kitchen. Once there, she shut the door and leaned back against it for a few seconds until she felt able to move again.

The doorbell sounded and she turned to go and answer it but stopped when she heard the measured steps of William walking through the hall to open the door and let the publisher in. Deciding to let the men have a few minutes to introduce themselves and get settled, she moved to refill the kettle and make more tea now that she knew William was going to be present.

William looked at the man standing on the doorstep assessingly. He was a good few inches taller than himself, broad in build and what most women would consider handsome he supposed. Personally, he thought the man had a large forehead and used too much hair gel but that was probably because he now realised why Elizabeth had changed into that amazingly sexy outfit while he and Giles had been gone.

"Connell?" he queried curtly.

"Yeah, I'm here to see Rupert Giles," the dark haired man replied.

William nodded then stepped back to allow the other man entrance. Even though he'd taken an instant dislike to the man, he forced himself to be polite and showed him to the study. He then excused himself saying he'd let Elizabeth know that the publisher had arrived.

Seconds later he entered the kitchen. "He's here," he told Elizabeth quietly, coming to a stop a couple of feet away.

"I know," she replied, turning to give him a strained smile. "I'll bring the extra cup in in a minute," she added dismissively.

But William refused to be dismissed, staying where he was, watching her closely. "What a woman of disguises you are," he eventually commented softly. "The night we met, you were the epitome of the modern woman who makes up her own rules for the way she lives her life. Then yesterday...so demure, all neutral colours, casual dress and now...today...yet another Elizabeth."

He gaze raked over her insolently. "No need to ask whose benefit this one is for," he added acidly as he took a step towards her. "I'm sure he'll be most impressed by you." Another step. "He looks the type who likes his women ladylike but not too reserved." Another step and then he was right in front of her.

"The way you've got your hair down soft and free like that...makes a man wonder what it'd be like to slide his fingers through it and use its soft delicacy to hold you captive under his mouth." As he spoke, he raised his hand and ghosted it over her head as if he were going to touch but didn't.

She drew in a laboured breath as her eyes slid shut only to open them abruptly again at his next low husky words.

"The way your blouse clings in all the right places...makes a man want to undo each button nice and slow so that he can reveal the soft, sensitive flesh that lies beneath inch by delectable inch."

She held her breath fighting everything in her not to lean forward into his beckoning touch as his hand, still ghosting, drifted down following the outward curve of her breast.

"Of course, you don't need me to tell you that, do you?" he then whispered harshly. "Your fiancé has probably already told you the same thing...and much, much more."

He was angry, she suddenly realised as her stunned brain tried to make sense of the ridiculous accusations he was throwing at her. She was just wearing a blouse her sister had bought her and an old skirt. Nothing special. So why was he acting like this?

"What is it exactly that you want from my sex, Elizabeth?" he suddenly ground out, as he forced his hand to drop to his side in order to stop himself from grabbing her. "You're engaged and yet you gave yourself to me when..." he broke off abruptly, breathing deeply as he struggled to control the emotions surging inside him.

What on earth had gotten into him? Just because he was a woman's first lover, there was no reason for him to develop this crazy, possessive attitude towards her. She was engaged to someone else for Christ's sake!

But it was to him that she turned for physical intimacy...for passion, a little voice reminded him firmly. Him dammit!

His silence enabled Elizabeth to break out of the trance he seemed to have put her in and she turned away blindly opening the cupboard behind her and grabbing a cup. Inwardly, she was shaking with tension and reaction but she was determined that she wouldn't let him see how much his anger had affected her.

Head held high, she walked past him ignoring his muttered plea of, "Elizabeth, wait..."

Outside in the hallway she couldn't resist the urge to glance at herself in the large mirror hanging on the wall by her uncle's study. Unsurprisingly, she noted that her face was flushed then, as her eyes drifted lower to her blouse, she shockingly realised that everything William had said was true. How had she never noticed the way the material clung to her body lending subtle emphasis to the gentle swell of her breasts in a way that might well be described as provocative.

Provocative. Not a word she would ever have associated with herself before now. She'd never worn anything that would deliberately draw attention to her body...truth was, she didn't really think it was worth drawing attention to.

And yet, William had noticed it. Had noticed and wrongly accused her of trying to gain the attention of a man she'd never even met. A man who probably wouldn't even look at her twice. It was all so ridiculous.

She was roused from her internal musings when William suddenly appeared and opened the door to Giles' study ahead of her. She walked forward then, either by design or accident, he held it open in such a way that she had to squeeze passed him through the gap. Goosebumps immediately rose all over her skin sending a frission of sensation through her that made her visibly shiver drawing the gazes of both William and the dark haired man talking to her uncle.

The quick, assessing male interest that flared momentarily in the publisher's eyes before he gave her a slow grin startled her so much that she simply stared back at him in amazement. What had happened to her that she'd gone from being a woman that she was certain no man bothered to look at to someone who merited these discreet, but definitely male, appraisals that she was receiving from both William and Angel?

She wondered briefly if it was because she was no longer a virgin but quickly dismissed the idea as ludicrous...that wasn't something that was discernible by the human eye. No, the difference must be her. She must be giving off some kind of 'come get me' signal unknowingly.

God, if only she knew how to switch it off!

Beside her, William glanced over at Connell then back at Elizabeth and his jaw clenched painfully. Closing the door with a barely restrained slam, he saw Elizabeth jump slightly then turn her head towards him. He raised a brow and was rewarded with a faint blush that told him his words from earlier weren't lost on her.

Elizabeth looked away from William's grim expression and over to Angel's obviously interested one and mentally sighed. Somehow she didn't think this meeting was going to go as smoothly as she'd anticipated.

TBC IN CHAPTER 11

"Ah, this is my niece, Elizabeth Summers," Giles introduced as she placed the extra cup down on the tea tray. "I believe you've spoken with her over the telephone?"

"I have indeed," Liam replied, walking over to her with his hand outstretched. "It's a pleasure to finally put a face to the voice," he told her smoothly.

Elizabeth clasped his hand and was taken by surprise when instead of shaking it as expected, Liam turned it over then raised it to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on the back. Eyes never leaving hers, he then pulled back and gave her a half smile as she blushed prettily. "A real pleasure," he reiterated softly.

"I-it's nice to meet you too, Mr. Connell," Elizabeth stammered awkwardly, conscious of the fact that she and Liam were the centre of attention.

"Oh, come now, I thought we already agreed that all my close friends call me Angel?" he admonished lightly.

"Um, yes, of course...Angel," she amended, glancing over at William's disapproving expression as she tugged her hand from the publisher's grasp.

"Your uncle's been telling me that you've been working hard on the book and that you'll be able to tell me far more about its progress that he can," Angel continued as he reluctantly released her hand. "Maybe we could have a private chat after I've finished speaking with your uncle?"

"Uh...yes...of course," she replied in surprise. "I have a small office next door we can use."

"Great," he enthused and produced an infectious grin that she couldn't help but respond to.

Elizabeth smiled and busied herself with the task while her uncle drew Angel's attention back to him and they began talking about the book. After handing out the drinks and carefully avoiding any further eye contact with William, Elizabeth sat down and listened to Angel's ideas and expectations for the book.

Having had his own work published, William brought up a few pertinent queries that Angel answered quickly and comprehensively. Elizabeth was impressed with his replies and when she risked a glance over at William she saw that even he had a grudging look of respect for the man.

It was decided that the first draft should be with Angel in six months. Elizabeth mentally calculated the rate of work both her and her uncle were producing and was reasonably sure that the date could be reached without problem.

"So, have you any more pages ready that I could possibly have a look at?" Angel asked, looking at both Giles and Elizabeth. "Any notes?"

"Yes, I have some here," Giles replied, going to his desk and beginning to search through the many papers that littered it. "Somewhere."

"I have the next chapter all typed up in my office," Elizabeth revealed as she stood up. "I'll go and get it."

Angel also stood. "I'll come with you and we can have that chat while your uncle looks in here, okay?" he suggested blithely.

She nodded and picked up the empty cups and put them back on the tray. "I'll just take these out to the kitchen first."

William moved to open the door for her but, much to his chagrin, Angel was quicker, opening the door with a flourish and simultaneously throwing a smug grin in the other man's direction.

William's jaw tightened painfully and he shot the taller man an icy glare. The bloody wanker was trying to goad him.

Angel waited until Elizabeth walked past him then followed her out into the hallway. "I'll wait for you here," he informed her pleasantly.

William went to close the door and hesitated as he saw Angel blatantly staring at Elizabeth's retreating figure, his head tilted to the side in obvious admiration of the blonde's swaying backside. "When you've quite finished," he bit out pointedly in a low voice.

Angel turned and looked at the shorter man consideringly. He knew when a woman was off limits and by the look on Saunders' face, this one was definitely a no go. Still, he'd never let that stop him before...

They stared at each other for a moment until Elizabeth walked back out of the kitchen. "Everything okay?" she asked noticing the thick tension between the two men.

"Yeah, fine," Angel informed her smoothly, his ready smile in place. "Ready for that talk?"

"Sure, my office is just here," she replied gesturing to the door on her right while looking at William with a quizzical frown.

William merely gave her an angry look then stepped back into the study and shut the door leaving her and Angel alone in the hall.

"I don't think he likes me very much," Angel commented dryly as he courteously opened the door to Elizabeth's office and waited for her to go through.

Elizabeth agreed but remained silent. She didn't want to get into a conversation about William.

They walked into her office and Angel shut the door while Elizabeth picked up the folder from the top of the pile of books she'd left it on earlier.

Angel took the proffered folder and flicked through the pages inside before closing it and handing it back with a smile. "You know, what I particularly like about this book is the human aspect of the characters. Usually when we have work submitted by the learned kind of man your uncle is, we expect it to be more...text like. It was a complete surprise to find something that was so refreshing and readable which is why I'm so keen to publish."

Elizabeth blushed, wondering if Angel had guessed that she was responsible for the humanising of Giles' work. Apparently he had...

"You've made an excellent job of interpreting your uncle's work, Elizabeth. You've definitely got a gift for this kind of thing. Tell me, are you inbetween career moves right now or...?"

He let the question hang and Elizabeth felt the usual irritation that arose whenever someone made the assumption that she couldn't possibly find any satisfaction in helping her uncle. "I'm not really an ambitious person," she said curtly.

She had no intention of pretending to be something she wasn't...well, not towards Angel anyway. Not even if he was charming and looked at her in such a way that it made her wonder if her sister had actually known the effect the blouse would have when she'd bought it.

Angel was unfazed by her abrupt reply. "Even so, you've got talent, Elizabeth, and if you're ever in need of more work please get in touch with me and let me know. You'd be a godsend to a lot of our writers'."

"Oh," she replied, feeling surprised and pleased by his flattery. "That's...I'll keep it in mind."

"Good," he said simply as he walked slowly towards her. "And if you want to discuss anything more about the book then I'm more than happy to do so over dinner...say tonight at eight o'clock?"

He was close now and Elizabeth instinctively took a step backwards, her mind a whirl at the realisation that Angel had just asked her out on a date. As she moved, her hip contacted heavily with the pile of books on the edge of her desk causing them to topple forward. Angel immediately reached out and grabbed hold of her, pulling her into his arms out of the way of the weighty tomes.

"Thanks," Elizabeth said smiling gratefully as she looked up at him, her hands resting lightly against his chest.

"No problem, I save you and get you exactly where I want you," he replied with a grin as he tightened his grip slightly. "Win win situation as far as I'm concerned."

Elizabeth's eyes widened at his words and then flew to the door as it suddenly opened and William walked in. Oh God, oh God, oh God, she thought, closing her eyes and opening them again with the hopes that he was just an illusion. No way would he believe that what he was seeing was innocent...on her part at least.

William froze in the doorway and stared at the embracing couple feeling as if all the air had been sucked from the room taking his capacity to breathe along with it. In silence he took note of Angel's self-satisfied smile then watched as Elizabeth blushed and dropped her head guiltily as she awkwardly moved out of Connell's arms.

The publisher gave Elizabeth a regretful look. "I'd better go but we'll talk later, okay?"

The blonde remained silent and looked over at William who refused to meet her gaze. Keeping his eyes fixed determinedly on the publisher, he waited until Angel walked passed him then followed him out closing the door softly behind him.

Elizabeth stayed where she was, feeling numb. Could his timing have been any worse? And Angel hadn't helped. She'd seen the look he'd given William and hadn't been pleased. True, the publisher was charming and very handsome but when he'd held her, she'd felt absolutely nothing.

No sudden racing of her heart; no heightened awareness of his every movement...no matter how slight; no urge to claim his lips and definitely no inclination to move further into his embrace. He was just too...big for her to feel comfortable whereas William...William was just the right size, she realised.

Recognising the way her thoughts were going, she shook her head and turned around to begin picking up the books. If she kept herself busy then she wouldn't dwell on what had just happened.

Ten minutes later, the books were neatly put away and a knock came at her door before it opened to reveal Angel.

"I'm leaving now and just thought I'd better say goodbye," he told her with an engaging smile as he stepped into the room.

Angel sighed, his face dropping a little at her evasive movement. "I take it that means no dinner tonight?" he asked quietly.

A rueful smile appeared and he raised his hands up in defeated pose. "Okay, I know when to back off," he said easily. "But if you ever seriously want to do more work, then don't forget to give me a call at least, alright?"

"Great," he said with noticeable relief. "Well, it's been a pleasure meeting you, Elizabeth and I'll ring in a couple of weeks to see how you're getting on with the book."

They said their goodbyes and Elizabeth went into the study to get the empty sandwich plates while her uncle and William saw the publisher out. She took them back to the kitchen and had just finished putting them in the dishwasher when the kitchen door opened behind her.

Her hair stood up on the back of her neck and when she turned around it came as no surprise to see that her visitor was William. One furious William if his expression was anything to go by, she realised as her heart plummeted. It was no use telling herself that he had no right to be angry...her body refused to listen.

"What is it with you?" he began as he strode up to her. "Does it give you some kind of thrill to pick up strangers? Do you get some kind of sexual kink out of it that you don't get with your fiancé? First me and then Connell!"

Without thinking of the consequences, Elizabeth's hand came up in an arc and slapped him hard across the face. His cheek reddened at the place of contact and his lips tightened into a grim line as he glared back at her.

"How dare you?" she spat, her own temper rising at his allegations. "You don't know me! Sharing my body doesn't mean that we shared emotion or our hearts or any kind of understanding."

"Then tell me," he demanded harshly as he stepped up and grabbed hold of her arms. "Tell me so I can comprehend what the hell is going on because right now you're driving me insane, Elizabeth." His voice took on an almost desperate note. "To have known you so intimately, to have felt your naked body moving under mine...knowing that you revelled in that feeling as much as I did and now to not be allowed to touch you...barely even look at you..."

Elizabeth roughly broke away from his grasp, his words conjuring up memories that she didn't want to remember lest it weakened her resolve. "There's nothing to tell," she told him harshly. "I'm engaged and you and I were a mistake. A terrible mistake that I want to forget..."

"Well, I don't!" he interrupted savagely, his anger rapidly returning on hearing her crushing words. "I've touched your skin...caressed it, tasted it...I've loved you, Buffy..."

"Loved me?" she repeated shrilly and let out a short bark of laughter. "You had sex with me, you mean." What was he trying to do to her? Why was he saying these things? Tormenting her like this when she knew all he wanted from her was to resume the intimacy they so briefly shared. Sex...but not love. She wasn't that much of a fool.

He drew in a sharp breath and narrowed his eyes. "Alright, I had sex with you," he ground out, trying to maintain a semblance of control despite the way she was reducing their night to nothing more than a cheap lay. "And now I want..."

"To use me like I used you," she interrupted bitterly. "But I won't let you. I may stupidly have once allowed you..."

"Allowed me!" he repeated in harsh disbelief as stared back at her with icy disdain. "You asked me!"

"No!" she refuted even louder as she put her hands to her ears in an effort to block him out.

"No, no, no," she chanted, shaking her head, her control breaking as the words hit her like physical blows.

William reached out and wrenched her hands away from her head. "Yes!" he told her forcefully as he stared at her terrified face "Yes," he repeated with soft emphasis as he released the tight grip on her wrists and took a deep, calming breath. "Buffy...I..." he broke off, suddenly silent and looked deep into her eyes.

She found it mesmeric, just like the slow caress of his thumbs as they gently rubbed little circles over the frantic beating of her pulse at her wrists. Something was happening to her. Something familiar and dangerous. Something that only William seemed to be able to set in motion.

Once before he'd made her feel like this and even though her brain cried danger, her body refused to listen. The relentless stroking of her wrist had her pulse hammering wildly beneath his touch and her lips parted and her eyes grew slumberous as memories of the one time they'd been together overwhelmed her.

William murmured something soft and inaudible deep in his throat that had her body immediately responding so that it softened and yielded, pressing eagerly against him. His hands left her wrists and lifted to entwine gently into her hair, moulding the shape of her head, holding her still as he slowly bent towards her.

She knew he was going to kiss her and she welcomed it, her hands already gliding up his chest, tracing the hard muscle underneath. Relishing the feel of his strong shoulders, she slid her arms around his neck and let her eyelids drop, lifting her face in anticipation.

The pressure of his lips was light at first but as soon as she opened her mouth willingly, he deepened the kiss. Their tongues met and caressed, sliding slowly and erotically against each other as they both gave in to the familiar sensation.

It was the sound of her uncle calling her name that brought her back to reality with a shuddering thump. Abruptly, she pulled back at the same time as William released her, mortified at what she'd just let happen.

Unable to bring herself to look at him and endure the humiliation of the triumph she knew must be in his eyes, she kept her head down. "Coming, Uncle Rupert," she called out shakily. Brushing past him on unsteady legs, she ignored the brief flare of awareness that quickly rose again at the fleeting contact and hurriedly left the kitchen.

Once outside, she drew in a deep breath and touched trembling fingers to her softly swollen lips. If it wasn't for her uncle's timely interruption, she knew she would have let William do whatever he wanted. Not only let him, she acknowledged to herself shamingly...but, she would've happily aided and abetted him.

It was a sobering and frighteningly shocking thought that she had no doubt would haunt her for a long while to come.

Apart from Elizabeth's own personal reasons for not wanting William to be there, there was also the effect his presence was having on her uncle's progress on his book, she recognised irritably as she stared at her empty, pin neat desk. He'd been there two weeks now and Giles was spending more time with William and at the university than actually at home.

In spite of this though, she had to admit that she'd never seen her uncle look so well, he seemed to thrive on having the younger man around. Only yesterday however, Angel had rung to check on the progress of the book and she'd had to put him off with a tactful fib and yet another refusal of dinner. The man was nothing if not persistent.

Today, William and her uncle were having lunch in Cambridge and then dining with fellow dons in the evening, leaving her with the whole house to herself for the day. Although, normally, she would've enjoyed the solitude, she now appreciated it even more as it gave her a release from the constant tension and fear of running into William.

Leaving her office, she wandered aimlessly around the house until she found herself standing outside William's bedroom staring at the door.

When William first arrived, she'd been panicked by his cold-blooded assumption that she would be a willing partner. Now, as the days passed, she found it harder and harder to cling to the shock and anger of that first day and instead, her thoughts kept returning to their initial meeting. To the feeling she'd had then that he was a man of strong character and compassion...a man with whom she could have had a lot in common. Everyday she saw another facet of his character and was forced to accept that he appeared to be strongly at odds with the impression she had gained on their second meeting.

Or was she just deluding herself? Was it just a game to him and all he was doing was deliberately trying to get her to give in? If it were just sexual, why didn't he just go and find himself another woman? She had no doubt that there would be plenty of willing women to warm his bed.

The thought of him sharing what they had with some other faceless female made her stomach roll over in distaste. Abruptly, she turned away from his door and headed downstairs wondering if William knew that his greatest ally was the traitor within herself in the form of her own responsiveness.

Then again, maybe she'd misjudged the situation entirely and he'd grown bored of the chase. Certainly, since the day he'd kissed her so passionately, he'd made no further attempt to touch her...even with the most briefest of contacts. There were times though, when she caught him watching her with an odd brooding intensity that made her feel tingly all over. But they were few and far between and as soon as he saw that she'd noticed him, his features would lighten and he'd look away.

Outwardly, William was everything she'd ever dreamed of in a man she could love. He was caring, compassionate, intelligent and the night they'd made love, he'd been so tender and gentle. It was only afterwards, in the cold light of day, that her own sense of self-revulsion at her behaviour had made her realise the folly of ever letting it happen again.

And yet, there she lay, night after night...aching for him, needing to be held in his arms.

Angry at her own weakness, Elizabeth determined she needed a little physical outlet and turned her attention to the tangled garden. Being as they'd had a couple of days of sunshine, she decided that she'd tackle a bit of weeding and phoned Willow to ask if she wanted to help. Her friend agreed as she had a couple of hours to spare and it'd been a few days since they'd last talked.

While she waited for Willow to arrive, she changed into a scruffy pair of jeans and a loose sweatshirt. When the redhead turned up, they donned some overly large gardening gloves then laid down a blanket and knelt on it to begin the arduous task of weeding while they chatted away as if they'd not seen each other for years.

"Fine," was Elizabeth's clipped reply and they spoke no more of him after that as Willow wisely changed subjects and told her of Oz's latest groupie encounter with his new band. Elizabeth was soon laughing out loud as she pictured the stoic young man trying to evade a rather persistent girl who kept asking him to sign various parts of her body, even going so far as to hide behind Willow for protection.

They were so engrossed in their chat and their work that they didn't hear the sound of William's car pulling up nor realise that both he and Giles had entered the house returning from lunch to change for the evening.

From his bedroom window, William looked down on the two friends as they laughed and chatted and wished he could see Elizabeth like that more often. She looked so happy and carefree, none of the tenseness and reservation that she usually adopted around him evident in her body language or face. A gust of wind caught her hair, whipping it around her face giving it the same tousled look she'd had the night they'd...

He found himself swallowing hard, unable to drag his gaze away from the woman sitting so far below. It had been a huge mistake kissing her that day in the kitchen and he'd regretted the action ever since...not that he could've stopped himself even if he tried, but still...

He shook his head. Pushing, Elizabeth had been wrong...the way she couldn't bear to look at him afterwards spoke volumes about how much she despised him for taking advantage and rightly so. It had been far more effective than the slap she'd given him and now...now all he'd succeeded in doing was make her withdraw further into herself, if that were possible, while making him yearn for her touch even more.

He sighed heavily. It was no use telling himself as he had done every night since he'd arrived, that she was just another Dru; another cheat...even if he were the man she'd cheated with rather than against.

For some reason he just couldn't summon the protective disgust that had helped him walk away from Dru with his self-respect, if not pride, still intact. He tried to convince himself that both Elizabeth's shock when he'd unexpectedly turned up and her determination to make it clear to him that what had happened between them was something she pretended had never taken place, showed exactly what kind of woman she was...one who could cold-heartedly cheat on the man to whom she was already committed. A woman who obviously had no qualms whatsoever in making love to a complete stranger.

And yet, no matter how many times he told himself she was unfeeling and calculating, his heart refused to listen. Continually it tormented him with images and memories of her softness and warmth; her heart-wrenching mixture of innocence and frankness; her almost loving desire to give him as much pleasure as she could as well as taking it for herself.

There was a weird kind of amusement in the fact that she was determined to believe that he was the type of man who was only interested in using her for sex. The proud way she'd looked at him when she'd told him that she wouldn't sleep with him again had touched something deep inside and he couldn't help but feel that she was almost like two completely different people.

The first was the passionate, loving woman he'd held in his arms and felt his heart and body respond to in a way that he'd never thought possible. The second was a shallow deceiver who happily made love to one man while being engaged to another.

And then, of course, there was the highly confusing fact that she'd been a virgin. Was that why she'd turned to him? Because she was afraid that her fiancé wouldn't like her lack of experience? It seemed far a fetched idea and surely, if the man loved her, he wouldn't care what degree of sexual knowledge she did or didn't possess. Certainly, if it were him...

He shook his head, ordering himself not to finish that thought. He'd been through enough emotional pain these last two weeks, no need to add to it with anymore, 'what if's'.

Down in the garden, Elizabeth and Willow stood up and stretched out their cramped muscles. "I'd better head off home," the redhead said, taking off her gloves and handing them to Elizabeth.

"Okay, thanks for all your help today. We did well," she said, looking over the small patch they'd cleared.

"We did, " Willow agreed with a smile. "I'll come over at the weekend if the weather's nice and we can do some more." She gestured to the blanket. "Do you want help putting stuff away?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "No, I'm fine, you go. You can see yourself out, right?"

Willow said yes then gave her friend a wave as she left. Elizabeth waved back then stretched again and instinctively looked up at William's bedroom window. The shock of seeing him standing there looking down at her completely took her breath away. She had no idea that the men had returned and immediately became conscious of her messy state. Mud liberally streaked her jeans and as she touched a hand to her hair, she could feel the way wisps of it were clinging to her hot, sweaty face.

And now, William was watching her. Or was he? Why did she automatically think he was staring at her? He might just have been admiring the view of the garden. Except that, deep down, somehow she knew that wasn't true. Feeling suddenly exposed and vulnerable, she hurried inside the house to have a shower and change into clean clothes. Shedding her trainers by the back door of the kitchen, she then jogged up the stairs towards her room.

Seeing her enter the house, William turned away from the window and fought the urge to go downstairs. Since their kiss, he'd purposefully taken a step back from the situation as much for her as for himself. And it'd worked...so far. He'd accepted every invitation for dinner and lunch he could so as not to be in the house where he was forever a slave to temptation.

"Stay here," he ordered himself severely. Turning back to the window, he grabbed a hold of the sill and gripped it so hard that his knuckles turned white. A creaking from the stairs outside had his whole body immediately stiffen as he turned his head to the side in order to hear better. The noise came again and he just knew it was Elizabeth. Within seconds all his determination to remain where he was crumbled to dust as his need to see her overcame everything else. In three strides he was at the door then moments later he wrenched it open and stepped out into the hallway.

Elizabeth was just approaching William's door when it opened and he stepped out in front of her, effectively blocking her way. They both froze, each staring blatantly at the other.

"I didn't think you'd be back until after dinner tonight," Elizabeth said jerkily. "Just let me get washed and changed and I'll go down and make you both some tea."

"Okay," she acquiesced with a slight nod before moving to walk around him to her room. He stood to one side so that she could go past him and the gesture left her irritated with herself for being annoyed that he hadn't made any attempt to touch her.

Once outside her door, she grasped the handle and gave a little start of surprise when William's larger, slightly callused hand was suddenly placed over hers, firmly but gently staying her movement.

Tensely, she looked up at him knowing she should pull away but her body, once more, refused to obey. Apprehensively, she watched him lift his free hand, her breath catching for a moment as he lightly brushed his thumb across her cheek.

From the gritty feel of her skin, Elizabeth knew he was telling the truth and flushed hotly in mortification at the picture she must present. "I've started doing some work in the garden," she told him unnecessarily.

"I know, I saw you," he said, confirming her suspicions that he had, indeed, been watching her from the window. "Weeding's very therapeutic, isn't it?"

Elizabeth's eyes widened. How could he possibly have known of the tensions and needs that had forced her outside in the first place?

His hand still rested against her face and his thumb began to stroke soothingly along her cheekbone as if sensing her inner turmoil and trying to reassure her that everything was alright. It wasn't a sexual touch by any means but, starved of any kind of physical contact from him, Elizabeth's body immediately responded to the light caress like dry timber to a flame.

William felt her tremble and his grasp tightened around her hand, lifting it from the handle and carrying it palm upwards to his lips. His brain was yelling at him to stop this madness before he got hurt any further but being so near to her and not touch her was an impossibility...especially after enduring two weeks of self-inflicted abstinence.

Elizabeth knew that he'd felt her tremor, but luckily the other, more betraying evidence of her desire was hidden under the heavy fabric of her sweatshirt. Only she knew how her nipples had puckered and tightened, pushing eagerly against the soft cotton of her bra in desperate need. A need that increased at the sensation of William's mouth moving sensuously against her palm, his tongue flicking out to touch the frantic pulse at her wrist in an erotic act that had her bones turn to jelly.

Legs shaking, she wanted nothing more than to sink to the floor and just dissolve so that she could be absorbed into him and be a part of him forever.

Despite how much she'd tried to deny it to herself and him, she'd somehow managed to fall head over heels in love with William.

Her whole posture went rigid as her brain desperately tried to reject the idea one last time but to no avail. She simply had to face the fact that she was in love with a man who'd made it more than clear that he only saw her as a convenient body.

She looked at him with wide eyes and jerked her hand from his grasp. "I-I have to get changed," she said pulling out of his reach. "I have to speak to Uncle Rupert. Angel called about the book today."

Immediately William's expression altered, his mouth thinning, eyes cooling and becoming watchful as jealousy rose quickly within him at the mention of other man's name. "Does he know you're engaged yet?" he asked curtly. "Or are you going to tell him after you've shagged him?"

It was a cruel, uncalled for remark as William knew very well; just as he knew that it was her apprehensive look that had sparked it. He hated that she seemed afraid of him. What did she think he'd do? Force her to go to bed with him? His stomach turned in revulsion at the thought. Didn't she know that would be the last thing he'd ever do? Couldn't she tell that he...?

He what? He thought bitterly as she let out a choked sob and fumbled with the door handle until it opened and she went into her room. That he was in love with her? Impossible! How could he be when she was everything he despised in her sex...just another Dru...

He halted mid-thought then closed his eyes with a groan. How many more times was he going to try and tell himself that? Wasn't it time that he got honest with himself and just admitted that he was completely, totally and irrevocably in love with Elizabeth and had been since the night they'd first met?

Opening his eyes, he ran a hand through his hair and listened to the sound of crying that came from the other side of the door. That was his fault and his heart ached at the knowledge. Letting his hand drop, he took the couple of steps to her door then reached for the handle and turned it slowly.

Inside the room, Elizabeth paced up and down restlessly, allowing the tears to fall as she tried not to dwell on what William had said. How ironic that the moment she realised her feelings for him, was the moment he chose to remind her exactly what kind of man he was.

How dare he suggest such a thing? Did he really believe she would...? She bit her lip as more tears came. Of course he did. And why not? As far as he was concerned, she cheated on her fiancé with him. Naturally he'd think she'd happily bed Angel as well.

Wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, she sniffed and let out a sigh before crossing the room to her window. Staring out at the garden, she knew that she'd never been so confused in her entire life. At night, she was tormented with memories of tenderness and sharing so strong that she couldn't believe it was all an illusion. Then, in the cold, harsh light of day, she was forced to accept that she was nothing more than a one night stand...because, really, if she'd meant anything to him at all then he would've tried to find her, of that she was certain.

Feeling suddenly drained, she fervently wished herself a million miles away from William and all her heartache. But, as that wasn't going to happen, she knew she had to face the damming truth that in spite of everything, if William still actually chose to try and persuade her to go to bed with him, she wouldn't be able to refuse him. And now she knew how she really felt about him, the pain of making love with someone who didn't return it would truly break her heart in two.

The sound of her door opening behind her had her spin around and draw in a sharp breath as she saw the man she loved standing framed in the doorway.

Elizabeth watched him enter the room and shut the door before walking closer until he stood in front of her. Staring at him nervously, her heart picked up its rhythm in a fierce combination of exhilaration and fear at the realisation that they were alone in her room.

William took in her tear-streaked cheeks and silently cursed himself for bringing her such pain. Who the hell had he turned into? Jealousy had never been a big part of him until now and it was a side of him he didn't like at all. "I'm sorry, Elizabeth," he said contritely. "What I said to you just now was uncalled for and I apologise."

If her had walked in and announced his undying love for her, Elizabeth couldn't have been more shocked. An apology was the last thing she expected from him and it managed to confuse her even further. What kind of man was he really? Who was the real William? If she could answer those questions then she was sure that her life would be a hell of a lot simpler.

"Thank you," she replied stiffly as she folded her arms across her chest in a defensive posture. Now, more than ever, she needed to distance herself from him lest she succumb to a temptation that she knew she'd never forgive herself for.

She turned her back on him and continued her perusal of the garden hoping that he'd take the hint and leave. He didn't. Instead, he stood behind her silently as if waiting for her to do or say something else. She could see him in the faint reflection of the window...close, but not quite touching, and the longer he stayed quiet, the more her nerves stretched taut.

Finally, unable to stand it any longer, she turned around and demanded shrilly, "What, William?! What do you want?"

William regarded her calmly and then took a step even closer, causing her to back up against the window. "You know what I want, Buffy," he told her softly, her pet name coming out as a soft caress. "I want you."

Elizabeth stood and stared at William knowing it was futile to pretend shock or outrage...not when she'd inwardly known what kind of response she'd been prompting.

His eyes bored into hers showing a flame of desire that even she couldn't ignore and she was certain that the temperature in the room had risen a few degrees, making her even more conscious of her already sticky state.

With him so close in front and the window at her back, she was beginning to feel uncomfortably hemmed in and found herself fighting the urge to gasp for air. Drawing her arms even tighter around her self, Elizabeth broke eye contact before she lost herself completely in his heated gaze and blindly pushed away from the window in an attempt to put some distance between them.

In two steps she was level with him and then he moved. Turning swiftly, he grabbed hold of her shoulders in a tight grip. Automatically, her arms unfolded and she placed her hands flat against his chest as he tried to draw her closer.

"No, don't William...I-I'm engaged," she reminded him, in a desperate attempt to stop him from leaning in to kiss her.

William stilled and remained silent for a moment before saying brusquely, "So you are. I wonder what your absent fiancé would say if he knew you and I have made love."

The blood drained from her face as the shock of his words hit her and she looked back up at him, her expression one of hurt. For a second she felt sick and then somehow found the strength to say huskily, "I don't want to talk about it William, and if you think you can blackmail me into sleeping with you..."

"Blackmail you!" William exclaimed aghast, not believing what he was hearing. His grip in her shoulders tightened painfully as he tried to hold himself back from shaking her stupid.

If Elizabeth had not known better, she would've sworn that he was genuinely horrified but she ignored her need to make excuses for him and added harshly, "Don't try to deny it! You've made what you want from me clear from the moment you got here. Just because we've made l...had sex once, it doesn't mean it's something I want to repeat." She drew in a breath and looked at him as coldly as she could. "In fact...I-I didn't even enjoy it the first time anyway," she lied before dropping her gaze once more. Surely that she do it, she reasoned desperately. No man liked having his sexual expertise called into question, did they?"

William listened to her words in amazement and bit back the sudden compulsion to laugh out loud at the ridiculousness of her statement. She might not want to make love to him right at this moment, but there was no way she didn't enjoy every minute of it that night in his car...he'd stake his life on it.

Staring at her averted profile, he saw the way her pulse beat frantically at the base of her neck and subdued the impulse to imprison it with his mouth and hold it imprisoned until he felt all the restraint leave her. Instead, he decided to turn her obvious lie to his advantage.

"So," he began quietly. "You didn't enjoy having sex with me as much as you do your fiancé, right?"

"No," she agreed, swallowing hard. "But the difference is I love him while you...you..."

His light tone had her looking back at him curiously and she was surprised to find that he didn't appear to be angry by what she'd said. In fact, his face held no expression whatsoever and for some reason that worried her far more than if he'd lost his temper.

The grip on her shoulders lessened slightly and he tilted his head to the side as his gaze warmed up again once more. "I'm sorry you didn't enjoy that night, Buffy," he said softly. "Because I certainly did."

Heart beating rapidly, Elizabeth blinked slowly at his admission and her arms relaxed enough that he could inch a little closer to her.

"I liked it very much," he continued in the same low voice that seemed to have a paralysing effect on her limbs. "In fact, these last two weeks I've been wondering what it'd be like to make love to you on a nice, comfortable bed rather than the hard cold floor of a car." A hand left her shoulder to brush some of her hair from her face as his voice continued to weave its spell. "To be able to see you as well as touch you."

Her arms were lax now and he moved both his hands to her waist and pulled her unresisting body gently to him, her form shuddering slightly at the contact.

"I'm sorry you didn't share my pleasure in our lovemaking," he murmured against her ear. "I'd like you to..."

His lips moved caressingly over temple and down her cheek as his arms tightened their hold about her person to urge her closer still. The tension within Elizabeth felt like a piece of metal breaking in two. Half of her yearned to give into his touch and simply melt against him. To wrap her arms around his neck and turn her face to seek out his mouth with her own, to get rid of his shirt and run her hands over his smooth skin, desperate in the need to feel everything she had before...and more.

While the other part, the part of her that knew she was being used, just wanted to push him away and run like hell.

His hand cupped her face and turned it gently while his lips feathered lightly along her jaw, his tongue darting out to trace the line to her chin and up. "You taste of sunshine and fresh air," he whispered against her mouth, the vibration sending tiny tremors of excitement through her entire body. "Let me taste all of you, Buffy and show you how much pleasure I can really give to you."

Her body trembled under the sexual onslaught of his words and his mouth hardened over hers as he drew her in for a heated kiss. As his arms enclosed her even tighter in his embrace, she became aware of his evident arousal and found that the feel of his erection against her belly fuelled her own rising desire.

Of their own volition, her arms entwined around his neck as he kissed her as she'd dreamed of ever since the day he'd arrived. His hands moved up to tangle in her hair, his body hard and urgent against her as his mouth demanded a response. She felt him move and then she was lying on her bed with him pressing her into the mattress, his hungry mouth never leaving hers for a moment.

He moved experimentally against her, the action stimulating her body further so that her breasts swelled and tightened within their cotton confines. All at once, the memory of the exquisite sensation of his mouth tugging at her nipples flared bright in her mind and she began to press back into him eagerly in response.

William felt his self-control snap at the way Elizabeth's body yielded so easily to his and he wondered if she knew what she was actually doing to him. Breaking off their kiss, he pulled his hand from her hair then eased it between their bodies and roughly cupped her breast through her sweatshirt.

Beneath him, Elizabeth gasped then let out a moan of pleasure and shuddered wildly as he found her nipple and grazed his thumb across it again and again until she wanted nothing more than to drag his head down to her chest and feel his mouth there instead.

As if reading her mind, William left off his ministrations to grab the hem of her top and impatiently push it upwards to expose her chest to his lustful gaze. Remembering how she'd felt in his mouth and how she'd reacted to him, had him crazy with need to experience it again, making him forget everything he promised himself about not pushing her again. Pulling aside one cup of her bra, he exposed her breast and licked his lips in anticipation of the delights he was about to indulge in then dipped his head to her chest.

Eyes closing, Elizabeth arched her back in silent supplication, digging her nails into William's shoulders in sudden ecstasy of the heat of his mouth as he wasted no time with teasing, instead sucking hard on her breast. The cool air of the room, his warm mouth and the fierce sound of gratification he made mingled together making her realise that there was nothing she wanted more at that precise moment, than to make love with William.

Her breath caught as his teeth scraped against her sensitive nipple making her shudder and dig her fingers into his still clothed form even harder...wanting him, needing him...loving him...

Her eyes snapped open at that and as quickly as her desire had flared, it went away leaving her with a feeling of hollow emptiness. What was she doing?

The night they'd met, she'd allowed her reality to be blinded, caught up in the mystery of the moment but now it was different. William wasn't a stranger any longer. She knew him and knew exactly what he did and didn't want from her...knew how little this actually meant to him...

Tears rose unbidden to her eyes and she bit her lip in an effort to stop the sob that desperately wanted to be released from her throat. This was wrong...so wrong. She couldn't make love to him now. Not without it destroying her completely.

William released her breast and covered it with his hand as he moved up to nuzzle lovingly at her neck. Hearing a small sniffle, he stilled and belatedly realised that her body had gone tense beneath him. Raising his head, he felt his heart contract painfully as he saw she was crying. "What's wrong?" he asked in tender concern.

Too distressed to lie, she whispered brokenly, "I can't do this, William. Please don't make me."

She began to tremble and he frowned slightly as he removed his hand then gently recovered her bare chest and tugged her sweatshirt down in the hopes that it'd help her calm down somewhat. "Is it because of him?" he asked huskily, watching her face. "Your fiancé?"

Elizabeth looked back at him blankly for a moment, wondering what he was talking about but then remembered and blushed. "Yes," she fibbed, then paused and felt compelled to add honestly, "But even if I weren't engaged, I couldn't." She drew in a breath and stared at him bravely. "I want you, William, but I can't have a relationship that's based purely on sex. It'd never be enough." She looked away briefly before looking back at him and continuing. "You turn me on...we both know that...and I've tried to pretend it isn't true, tried to resist this...this...physical thing we have between us, but I can't do it. Not without your help." Her watery eyes opened wider in desperate appeal. "Please, William, will you help me? If I make love to you now, I-I'll lose whatever's left of my self-respect...I..."

She broke off with a harsh sob and William was stunned at the intensity of the emotion that filled him. He had wanted her, desired her...almost hated her at times, but now he felt nothing but admiration for her; such compassion and love that he couldn't stop himself from lifting a hand to her face and gently running his fingers down it trying to both soothe and comfort her at the same time while attempting to convey, without words, all he felt for her.

"I understand," he said quietly. "You want me physically, but you're in love with someone else." He gave her a half smile. "I never meant to pressure you into making love with me, Elizabeth. Last thing I want is for anything that happens between us to rob you of your self-respect. I just hoped..." He stopped then sighed heavily as he looked away and eased himself off of her to sit up.

There was no point in telling her how he felt now. She'd made it clear when she'd said that she didn't want a relationship based purely on sex that she felt nothing more than a physical attraction to him. He wasn't stupid enough to pour out his heart to a woman who would do nothing but trample it in the dust. He did still have some pride left amongst all the heartache.

He got up and looked back down at her. She was still trembling, her eyes large and dark in her pale face. "I'm sorry about saying that I didn't enjoy our lovemaking before," she told him hesitantly. "I-I was frightened and needed to protect myself..."

"Shhh, " said William silencing her as he shook his head. "It's forgotten. And you don't have to worry, Elizabeth, I'll keep away from now on, okay?"

There was so much pain in her eyes as she nodded slightly in response that William felt as though he just wanted to gather her up into a hug and hold on to her forever. Forcing himself to move away, he walked to the door mentally raging against her fiancé. What kind of man was he? Didn't he realise what his uncaring treatment was doing to her? She needed him here, not in America.

Opening the door, he cast one last look at the woman who lay huddled on the bed and resisted the inclination to go back. Determinedly walking out into the hallway, he shut the door behind him and slumped heavily back against it.

"Bloody hell," he muttered as he stared blankly ahead of him. After Dru, he'd told himself that he'd never make the mistake of falling in love again. That he'd never expose himself to that kind of pain, that kind of anguish a second time and yet here he was. Except that now, William recognised that what he'd felt for Dru had been infatuation and when she'd cheated on him, his pride had been bruised but not his heart. But this...what he felt for Elizabeth...this went far beyond anything he'd ever felt before.

With a slight snort of derision, he pushed away from her door and headed to his own room. Apparently the old saying, 'love hurts', was true. And he was feeling every single twinge it decided to send him. Entering his bedroom, he began to get changed for dinner that evening and thought back over the past couple of months since he'd first met Elizabeth.

In hindsight, he knew he should have realised what was happening to him then. His anger and disappointment when all his enquiries had come to nothing were good indications that his desire to find her again was because of more than just a sense of responsibility for taking her virginity.

He stopped buttoning up his fresh shirt and frowned. That was a piece of this puzzle that he'd probably never find out the solution to now. Why, when she loved this other man so much, had they not been lovers? Somehow he didn't think that she'd take kindly to him asking her outright but it was still a question he'd dearly like an answer to.

Shaking his head, he finished dressing and called himself an idiot. It didn't matter why. The simple fact was that she loved someone else and he just had to deal with it. When he'd believed that she was just another Dru, it had been easier to cope with, but now he knew better. There had been no mistaking the genuine confusion and pain in her voice when she'd told him that she wanted him and what that feeling was doing to her. He'd never expected such honesty and it'd effectively compelled him to listen where all her other protestations would have likely fallen on deaf ears.

Truth was, people did not fall desperately in love between the space of one heartbeat and the next and they certainly didn't go on to consummate that love without any of the preliminaries that normally preceded such intimacy. Only he had, and although he was still reeling from the shock of it, he knew for certain that he loved her and would've done no matter how many fiancés she had.

In her room, Elizabeth sat up shakily and attempted to quiet her still trembling body as she tried to come to terms with what had just happened and the fact that she loved William. Not just needed him or wanted him or desired him...but really loved him, with everything in her.

He'd been so gentle, so understanding and caring when she'd told him how much it'd cost her to make love to him again, that it was as though her perception of him had suddenly been wiped clean of all the misconceptions and fears she'd deliberately nurtured within herself - and in doing so, she'd truly recognised, for the first time, exactly what a good kind of a man he was.

It was a very humbling experience to realise that her body and senses were far better judges of character than her brain. They had recognised within William...a complete stranger...something for which they'd yearned. Some essential goodness of nature, a basic generosity of heart and mind that they'd instinctively reached for that her brain had refused to acknowledge.

If only she hadn't lied, if she'd just been honest with him right from the start, if... She paused in he mental musings and shook her head despondently. No. The lie didn't matter anyway. He'd proved that by not refuting her claim that what they'd nearly shared was merely just sex and that told her very clearly, exactly how he felt.

He didn't love her so wasn't it better just to leave things alone now? He'd promised to keep away and the look he'd given her had echoed the truth of that statement.

At the end of the day, one night with him she could pass off as a moment of weakness. Embarking on a relationship where she had feelings and he didn't was complete insanity. What would happen to her when he left? She'd have to pick up the pieces of her shattered heart, shard by shard, and hope that she could put them back to together in some kind of semblance of what it had once been.

Ever since she met him, all her dreams of marriage and children had started to shake on their foundations...did she really want to have them fall down completely?

Because they would. If she let him in, she just knew nothing and no-one could ever compare in the future. And that's what scared her the most.

She may hurt now, but in the long run, her heart would get off lighter and she would heal...not completely...but enough to go on and forge some relatively happy life for herself with someone else.

William left his room and went downstairs only to encounter Giles coming out of the kitchen. The other man was about to say something when the phone rang. "Come in a minute while I just get this, William," he invited as he headed for his study.

William trailed slowly after the older man, mentally trying to pull himself together. From the doorway, he saw Giles answer the phone and immediately stiffened when he heard his colleague greet the caller.

"Wanker," he muttered under his breath as he unashamedly listened to Giles' half of the conversation.

"Yes...yes...she's upstairs I believe. Do you want me to get her? No? Yes, I can give her a message...okay...fine, I'll let her know...goodbye, Connor."

By the door, William felt his ire begin to flare against the faceless man on the other end of the phone. The bastard couldn't even be bothered to talk to her in person. There Elizabeth was, denying everything in her, confused and alone and all her waste of space fiancé could do was leave her a bloody message. What an absolute tosser.

"That was Connor," Giles informed William conversationally as he replaced the phone on its cradle and scribbled something down on a pad. "He's engaged to my niece, you know?"

William nodded curtly and tried to relax the grim set of his mouth enough to speak. "Yes, Elizabeth had mentioned it," he managed to grind out as his stomach churned unpleasantly at the realisation that she'd now told her uncle her good news. More protection, he thought unhappily.

"Oh, did she?" Rupert queried as he walked over to the younger man. "Yes, well, it's hardly surprising I suppose, she's extremely excited by it all."

William stood back so Giles could pass then followed him to the front door. "I can imagine she is," William offered quietly. "Not every day you get engaged, is it? I just hope it works out for them."

If Giles heard the flatness of William's tone then he showed no knowledge of the fact as he replied, "Oh, I think it will. They seem very attached to one another, young love and all that." He gave the other man a smile as they left the house and walked over to his car. "In fact, I don't think I can recall a time that I've ever known her to be so happy as when she's with him."

Starting up his car, William pulled away from the house and tried to smile back at his friend. Even if he'd still doubted Elizabeth's feelings for her fiancé after everything that had transpired between them, he couldn't have denied the truth of what Giles was telling him now. Why couldn't you just tell me that he's a complete burke and you hate him? he thought to himself unhappily.

Unaware of William's inner turmoil, Giles changed the subject to one of work and chatted blithely on. William welcomed the diversion and entered into the conversation with as much enthusiasm as one man who'd just had his heart completely shredded to pieces could muster.