Chapter 18: Moving Forward

A/N: I know. I know… this update took forever. Work and life took a shit on me and it wasn’t pretty. I think my muse got shat upon, too… since he’s been quite this past week. Any one have really fluffy Spuffy to help me find my muse again?

Dawn came home mid morning. She spent most of the night talking to Sam about Spike and what happened. Sam listened to her thoughts and held her close, minding his injuries. Creeping into the house like a teenager late for curfew, Dawn glided up the steps. There was no noise coming from the basement and Dawn only hoped that Buffy was all right. In truth, Dawn was slightly afraid to go and check. Every time she approached them, Spike got defensive until Buffy assured him that it was all right. When she looked at him, his eyes were so cold and mistrustful, nothing like the Spike she knew. The Spike she knew had dancing eyes with his baby blues twinkling with life. This Spike’s eyes did not twinkle, at least not when she was around. When Buffy originally brought Spike into the house, she could tell he didn’t remember her. Not even remembering her from the morning. Whatever Angel had done to Spike worked… this Spike was just a shell of the man she knew.

Downstairs…

Buffy heard Dawn come in and walk upstairs quietly. Spike was still lying in her arms that she offered last night. She sat up straight against the wall to help her back to heal with his head pillowed on her lap. Her muscles were stiff from sitting up almost all night, holding the broken beast she knew was still Spike. She casually almost thoughtlessly ran her fingers through his soft bleached hair. Once Dawn left with Sam, Spike settled down and fell asleep. Buffy wondered how Sam really was. She was sure Dawn would have come down to let her know how her best friend was, but she didn’t. Slowly, Buffy placed a pillow on her lap, under Spike’s head. She held the pillow and Spike for a few minutes, waiting for him to wake up, but he didn’t. Taking it was a clue that he still was sound asleep, Buffy carefully moved out from underneath him. She put the pillow down on the pallet slowly. She waited a couple more minutes, waiting for Spike to wake up confused, but he stayed asleep. Buffy crept up the stairs, mindful of the unconscious body below. Rounding the corner from the hallway and the stairs she stopped and stood there. The past few days crashed into her like a ton of bricks. Loosing her balance, she leaned on the banister replaying all the events. The trip here, the confrontations, Spike missing, her so-called friends’ plan, Spike in the warehouse, Angel’s dead, the tantrums, Sam, and Dawn. Quickly recovering, Buffy straighten her shoulders and continued to her destination. This was not a time to breakdown. Taking a deep breath, Buffy knocked on Dawn’s door. In a short moment, Dawn stood in the open door. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself… so… how is Sam?”

“Alive.” Dawn’s eyes danced in merriment with the thought of being difficult.

“I kinda figured that, thank goodness. But how is he?”

“Hanging in there. Wouldn’t let the docs keep him overnight. I took him back tot the hotel and we talked.”

“Sounds like Sam; he hates hospitals almost as much as I do. Did you tell him about Spike?” The two sisters found their way to Dawn’s bed and sat down.

“Yeah, I tried to explain. He is trying to understand for you, but it’s hard for him.”

“Yeah, Sam is a good friend like that. Is he healing OK?”

“Sort of. Spike got a few good licks in. His arms and chest are torn up but healing.”

“I tried to get Spike off ASAP, but he was not listening or anything. The only way I got his attention was to jump on his back.” Buffy rubbed the lower portion of hers. “And then he backed us into the column on the porch.”

“Ouch. So that’s when you had Spike go get me?”

“Yeah. Once he saw it was me, he carried me to the basement. I told him to get you. At first he wasn’t going to leave, but then I told him again and he went and got you.”

“We should teach him to knock and stuff because I was asleep and he grabbed me. I woke up with him in game face carrying me. I had no idea what was going on.”

“Uh, sorry about that. He knew I was hurt and that I was asking for you. He just gets… a little... OK, a lot over zealous.”

“Yeah, true. I just can’t believe that less than a week ago he was sitting here in this room, tickling me.” The two sisters stayed quiet for a long time.

“We need to figure out a way to get him back.” Buffy broke the silence. “I kinda wish we could ask Willow since she helped me when Glory took you, but…”

“Yeah…” Dawn broke the sentence off also. “Hey, how about we talk about old times? He remembers you I know he does. The way he looks at you and stuff. He looks at you like Spike does when he thinks no one is looking.”

“He remembers you, too. When I said your name he KNEW where you were and who you are.”

“Yeah, but he keeps growling at me when I enter the room.”

“I… I think that is his demon protecting itself.” Buffy shivered. “In Hawaii, h-…he told me that his demon loved me too… I think he is trying to protect me.”

“From me?”

“Well, he… he gets confused… like he isn’t aware of what is out there… just that it is out there and he reacts naturally with his teeth and grring, you know?”

“Yeah, well, it’s scary.”

“Yeah. Scary… oh, how about pictures?”

“You mean of us?” Dawn questioned.

“Yeah, like of mom, you, me. I think we have a couple with him in it, too.”

“Stay away from the pictures of Angel.”

“Yeah, I don’t think he would like that.” The two started to plan and look through photo albums.

Downstairs the sleeping figure woke up. His arms reached for the warm body, but only encountered a cold pillow. Blinking awake the vampire sniffed the air, gauging when his love left the room. Satisfied he hadn’t been gone too long, he went up the steps in search of her. He felt her before he could hear her. She was talking to the other woman that looked and smelled like his ladylove. Spike didn’t know what to make of the other woman in the house. She has kind eyes but he could tell she was scared of him. He followed her scent and their voices up the stairs. As he got closer their scents mingled together forming a new, yet familiar scent. It smelled like comfort and home.

He found the two sitting on a bed looking down at some sort of a book. His love had her arm around the younger woman as they talked quietly. “I wish I could talk to her one more time… just once more.”

“I know Dawnie. We didn’t even get an opportunity to say goodbye.” The two women on the bed had tears running down their faces as they stared down. Spike came into the room and walked around to kneel in front of Buffy. He patted her leg and cocked his head. “Hey, Spike.”

Spike rested his head on his loves knee and stroked her other thigh while making soft noises. Dawn noticed the strange behavior and had to ask, “What is he doing?” Spike’s hands continued to partly pat and partly caress Buffy’s leg.

“I don’t know, but it feels good.” Buffy gazed down at her lover and smiled. Even in his condition he was trying to take care of her. “I think he is trying to comfort me.” Spike looked up into her eyes and winked with acknowledgement. “Come here, Spike.” Buffy patted the bed next to her. He dutifully scrambled up onto the bed, sitting impossibly close to her with his arm behind her back. She took the book from Dawn’s lap and placed it in her own. “Spike, this is my mom, do you remember her?” Spike looked down to where she was pointing. A middle-aged, smiling woman stared back at him. Her curly dishwater blonde hair was cut shoulder length and her eyes crinkled up, showing the start of her crow’s feet. Spike brought his hand up to the picture and moved his fingers lightly over the face in the book. “Her name is Joyce. I think she let you call her mum when I wasn’t around.” Spike looked up at the mention of ‘mum’ and he mouthed the word. “She died a long time ago… well… not so long for us. She had a brain tumor...” Buffy couldn’t continue the emotions were still as fresh as they were when her mom first died.

“They did a surgery and got it out, do you remember?” Dawn was now talking. “They got it out and everything. We took her home and she was good. Then… then… one day… an aneurysm.” This time Dawn’s tears ran freely as she got caught up in the emotion. Spike looked over at the younger version of his love breaking down and moved to sit between the two. He hugged them both to his sides, letting the two women deplete their emotional state. Dawn was the first to be able to restrain her sorrow and regain her composure. Buffy leaned up against Spike, her body wracked with tremors as she repressed her tears. “She was a special lady.” Dawn finally put an end to their tormented memories and sat up.

“That she was, Dawn. That she was.” Buffy agreed, still in the arms of her lover.

Dawn turned the page of the album and pointed to another picture: a picture of the young Scoobies sans Angel in the old library. “Hey remember this? It was your senior year or something.”

Buffy looked over and smiled at the memory of that day. Everything seemed so simple back then. School, slay, home, and repeat. “Oh, yeah. I remember that day. It was when Spike came back to do that spell on Dru…” she trailed off. Buffy wasn’t sure if Spike would recognize the name, but she didn’t want to chance it. Spike narrowed his eyes towards Buffy, trying to distinguish what she was trying to say. She mentioned his name, but the sentence was never finished.

“Oh, look at this one.” Dawn turned the page again. “I can’t believe you dressed up like Little Red Riding Hood for Halloween!” Spike looked down at the candid shot. His fingers itched to trace the outline of her face, but he was content to keep his arm around the real thing. The three sat on the bed for hours, looking at pictures and retelling old stories.

~*~*~

He has gone MAD! This time he went too far, she was sure of it. She quickly looked around, trying to fathom the madness that she now called Xander. Get away. That is what she has to do. She started to stuff clothes into a duffle bag. Run. Tell Buffy. Tell them that they are coming. They are here. Tell her to run. Take Spike and go. From what Giles has said Buffy and Spike have more than enough money to hide themselves for a long time.

“Whatcha doing, Willow?” Anya walked into the room. Willow looked up from her packing.

“I… uh… taking a trip?” Willow tried to cover, but not very well. Anya looked out into the hallway and closed the door.

“You’re leaving, right?” Willow nodded and watched as Anya walked over and helped her pack. “Go warn Buffy.” The two worked silently understanding what was going on.

Not thirty minutes earlier the three Scoobies met with the Watcher team. Anya and Willow weren’t sure what was going on until Xander made the introductions. Soon the two girls realized what the team was there to do and how. Willow balked in the back of the room, digesting the discussion the five men were having. Anya sat next to Xander, but did not say anything. If Xander paid any notice he would have seen a sicken face on his wife and friend, but he did not pay any attention to the two girls he dragged to the meeting. It was determined that Angel had indeed kidnapped Spike, but now Spike was free and Angel was dust. The team of cutthroat men eagerly strategize the best way to lure Spike into a trap and take him back to the head quarters to torture and eventually kill. Willow’s heart was breaking for her friend. Anya’s heart broke for her husband and the petty, little man he evolved to.

Willow was now on the doorstep of the house on Revello trying to get enough courage to knock.

Inside the house a 30 minutes earlier….

Dawn was at class. Buffy and Spike were now in the basement. He was sitting on the palette next to her watching her sleep. The voices have quieted down again. He stared at her peaceful form, wishing she always looked this peaceful. He traced the contours of her face with the lightest touch of his fingers. She stirred under his ministrations. A smirk began to form on Spike’s lips as he traced the muscles on her face moving in a circular pattern he continued to tease her skin. His hands traveled down her throat and played along her collarbone, dipping into the indentations. Buffy kept her eyes closed during his exploration. He really was an enigma. At times he was gentle as a baby’s breath and at other times he was like a vicious animal, ready to rip out anyone throat. She struggled to keep her giggles down and her eyes closed, but Spike was getting more and more gregarious in his exploration causing shivers to enter her body. His fingers now ran down her chest, playing with her pert, hard nipples. She could feel his aroused, hard cock against her thigh as he continued to play. Knowing she was awake, he ducked his head down to meet her lips with his. She moaned as his tongue ran along her lower lip, coaxing for permission that she was more than ready to give.

His hands moved around her body, playing her like a finely tune guitar. Her hands moved to encircle his shoulders. Spike nuzzled the side of her neck, licking her jugular as she spread her legs for him to settle down. She felt his cock probe her folds but not completely enter her as his body moved over hers. Her body shuddered whenever he felt his velvet tip brush against her moist, sensitive center. Again, Spike’s lips found her own: nipping, sucking, and just resting on hers as his hands moved across her body, down her belly and stopping to play with the belly ring she still had there. Buffy moaned as he gentle flicked and twisted the ring and his cock finally glided into her warmth. They lay there minutes sighing in contentment, before he began to move above her. His thrusts here long and deep, bringing every nerve of her body to life. Spike brought his head down to nuzzle her soft breasts. Beads of sweat formed on her naked skin as he increased his pace and strength of penetration. Buffy wound her legs around Spike, resting her calves above his butt. The new angle and sensations prompted Spike to increase his pace yet again. Sucking on her neck and her on his shoulder, they felt the stars approach. Screaming his name, Buffy came, squeezing his hard, pounding cock completely. With an ethereal howl Spike shot his seed into her. Looking down at her writhing under him, Spike went back to kiss her neck. Moving her head to the side, Buffy allowed Spike access to the place he just recently abandoned. Still locked in her own pleasurable world and the feel of his cock still hard inside her, Buffy didn’t notice the first pinch of discomfort as Spike’s canines delved into her skin. Not until his bottom teeth clamped down, bruising and tearing her skin Buffy had no idea that Spike was in his vampire visage. Not understanding what was happening and the slayer inside her screaming, Buffy started to struggle. The sensation of his teeth in her neck was painful yet erotic as she felt an orgasm build. She bucked with energy that hadn’t left her with the blood that he was drinking. She wasn’t sure if this was the slayer trying to get free or her body moving itself towards completion. Spike clamped his arms and body down practically crushing her body as he marked her, claimed her. He softly growled, almost like purring, through the blood in his mouth and throat, quieting her struggles as the slayer became pliant under the soothing, familiar sound. His teeth ground into her one last time, disfiguring more of her skin. She passed out during her orgasm. Spike stopped drinking her blood and now concentrated on lapping up the blood that still pooled near the surface of his mark. His arms still held her body down. Spike moved his pelvis up and back down with a bruising force, spilling his seed again into her channel.

Letting go of her arms and body, Spike moved off of her shocked body. He licked her neck every couple minutes, helping her healing process. She brought one hand up to her wound testing it. She winced as her fingers brushed the sensitive skin. The slayer awoke inside her as she jumped up and ran upstairs. Spike, startled at the quick departure of his mate, followed closely behind. They ran up to the second floor and into the bathroom. Buffy stood in front of the large mirror looking at her reflection. On the side of her neck a large very noticeable bite mark stood out from her near perfect skin. Spike had managed to cover all previous bites with his mark. She could see two distinct holes where his upper canines sunk in and numerous deep indentations that were starting to discolor. Spike watched her reach for a wash cloth and dab at his mark. She winced as the rough material came in contact with her neck. He practically covered the whole side of it with his mark. Buffy thought to herself that Spike wasn’t kidding when he said it was quite violent. She wished that it was her Spike that marked her, instead of this broken one. She wanted to share the experience with him, give herself completely to him. She continued to wash the wound and realized that his teeth were not even in her jugular, but his teeth missed it. She took out the antiseptic, dabbing a few cotton balls on the bottle, ready to dab her neck when Spike came up behind her. He grabbed her wrist, wrenching it in a weird position making her drop the wet cotton balls. He sniffed her neck and then nuzzled the bruise lightly. His tongue came out and licked her open wounds. “Spike, please… I have to use antiseptic.” Spike twirled her body around so it faced him. His head bobbed up and licked her cheek before repositioning onto her neck. His mouth reattached as he sucked, causing her body to jerk with pain. Again he went back to licking the two puncture bites. He lifted his head and grabbed the bottle of antiseptic and shook his head. “Why can’t I use antiseptic?” Spike’s head tilted and a smirk appeared on his lips. His tongue darted out and licked her bottom lip. It continued back down to his mark and he nuzzled her neck again. Understanding dawned and she nodded her head. “OK, I won’t use it, but we should keep it clean. Again Spike shook his head and licked it again. Buffy turned around to face the mirror and watched as the two puncture closed and the bruising getting darker. Putting away the medical kit, Buffy heard the doorbell ring.

A/N: The muse had graced me with her presence tonight. What I would like to know is do you want Buffy to give Willow a REALLY hard time or should Buffy be mature and give the girl time to explain. Next chapter: Scooby confrontation. Hurry up and give me feedback before I get too far into the chapter.

Chapter 19: The Scoobies
A/N: Heard you loud and clear: Hard bitch in this chapter. My take on the situation: Buffy really doesn’t want to be a bitch but she is hurting from betrayal (on many levels) and is lashing out the only way she feel comfortable doing: words.

A dressed Buffy looked out the peephole and saw Willow. Her red hair swayed in the wind as she waited. A half naked Spike was behind Buffy, trying to peer out the peephole also. “Stop, Spike. Go downstairs and wait for me.” Spike groaned and pinned Buffy up against the front door. “Spike!” His head swooped down and began to nuzzle the side of her neck. His hands slide down her arms to cup her ass and rub his cock into her groin. “Stop Spike,” she whined and he complied by stepping back a little. His hands rested on her waist, ready to listen to her. “It’s Willow.” Spike growled at the mention of her name. “Please, Spike, go downstairs.” He reluctantly stepped away and headed to the kitchen and down the stairs. Sighing dramatically, Buffy turned back to the door and the annoying doorbell ringing again. She fixed the loose fitting turtleneck around her neck. At times like these, Buffy almost wished she had long hair again. It was hot outside and she was stuck with inching fabric on her neck. “Willow,” Buffy greeted her old friend icily.

“Um, Buffy, um, hi! Can I come in?” Willow stepped forward. Buffy glared at the Wicca like she had just asked the impossible.

“I don’t know can you?” Seeing Willow again brought up very unpleasant memories.

“Buffy I need to tell you something.” Willow rung her fingers together.

“So tell… I am not stopping you.” Buffy arms crossed in front of her. Her legs were shoulder width apart and blocking the entrance to the home.

Willow looked around and whispered, “Inside… I think someone is watching me.”

Buffy watched as the girl’s eyes darted around again. With great reluctance Buffy stepped aside. “Fine, come in, but be warned you aren’t welcome and not staying long.” Willow nodded and headed inside. Before closing the door Buffy looked out and noticed a black sedan sitting a couple houses down. Pursing her lips, Buffy followed Willow into the living room.

“Look, I know I am one of the last people on earth you want to see let alone talk to, but you have to listen to me.”

Buffy held up her hand. “No, I don’t have to listen to you. You have no idea how much I don’t have to talk to you.” A large growl filled the room. Looking around, the girls noticed Spike in the archway in game face staring at Willow. Moving as quickly as she could, Buffy ran between Willow and Spike, blocking Spike’s attack.

“What… what’s wrong with him?” Willow looked scared. Her hands were shaking as Buffy moved closer to Spike. His face dipped down and moved the fabric away from Buffy’s neck, nuzzling and licking his mark. Feeling like an intruder during this intimate moment, Willow looked away and out the window. Spike growled in Willows direction, but kept his head down in Buffy’s neck. “Stop it, Spike,” Buffy admonished lightly and stepped away from her lover, her mate. She turned towards Willow and leveled her gaze onto the woman. Willow faced them and gasped. “Buffy, what happened to your neck.” She stepped forward but stopped when Spike grunted at her and grabbed Buffy’s waist.

Buffy’s hand went up to her bruised neck and winced. “Oh, yeah. Spike… it’s not what you think. Actually why do I care what you think?”

“Buffy, what’s going on?” Willow understood Buffy’s reaction, but she just wasn’t giving an inch.

“Like you care,” she spat out.

“Buffy, its not…” Willow tried despretely to grasp at words, but none would come to her.

“Yes it is. Do you have any idea what is going on?” Buffy stood in front of Spike, just incase he decided to attack Willow.

“OK, I don’t know what’s going on with Spike and all the grr face and I don’t know what is with your neck. It looks pretty bad, you should put something on it.” Spike growled and tried to lunge past Buffy, but she reached out and dragged Spike behind her again. “But I do know that sweeper team is here and they know about Angel and they aren’t leaving without Spike.” Willow glanced outside the window again and her fear rose as she watched Xander get out of the black car parked a couple houses away.

“What do they know about Angel?” Buffy struggled to keep her emotions in check.

“That he was with Spike when you were looking for him and that Spike murdered him.” Spike sniffed the air and grunted.

“Well, they are missing some details, but technically correct.” Buffy grabbed Spike and moved him to the chair and sat on his lap. Hopefully this would keep the vampire from making any sudden moves. She noticed that Willow was becoming increasingly jittery.

“Look, Buffy. I… I’m sorry for following Xander. I wasn’t thinking clearly. He just… I don’t know… but he’s not right.” Buffy nodded. “He’s… he’s coming up the sidewalk right now and I think that he brought the sweeper team. You have to get Spike out of here, they are going to torture him!” Willow pleaded her case with much emotion.

“They are too late. Angel beat them to it.” Willow looked shocked. “That’s what is going on. Angel tortured him and did some brain washing… Spike… Well his demon self is in control.” Willow looked back out the window not really comprehending what Buffy was saying. Spike let out a loud growl as Xander neared the house.

“Please, Buffy. Let me do a spell and slow down Xander. You two get out of here.”

“How? In case you haven’t noticed it’s day light out there.” Buffy felt exhausted.

“Buffy, they are coming!”

“Yeah, and whose fault is it?”

“I didn’t mean for it to go this far! Please!” Willow had tears pouring down her face as she begged her friend. “Please let me help!” Xander knocked on the door.

Buffy’s head whipped around as Spike lunged from underneath her. Managing to grab a hold of Spike’s arm, Buffy halted his movements. “No, Spike. Go downstairs and wait for me this time!” Spike growled and refused to leave his mate’s side. His eyes narrowed and his hands jutted out on his hips. “Now!” Another knock on the door, “Spike, go. Down. Stairs. Now.” Buffy struggled to contain the fear in her eyes as she watched Spike defiantly stand next to the door. “Willow, this would be a good time to help.”

Willow, one step ahead of Buffy chanted quietly in the corner. Her eyes turned from black as she finished the chant. Looking expectantly up at them, she noticed her spell did not work. “It didn’t work, I’m sorry. It was supposed to make Spike do as you say.”

“Another will be done spell?” The two girls all but forgot about the man on the other side of the door until he knocked again.

“No, nothing like that… just a temporary spell…kind of makes him into your willing slave.”

“Oh, that makes it so much better. Spike go downstairs and wait for me.” Buffy pleaded, but Spike ignored. The knocking became insistent. Glancing out the door, Buffy saw Xander and visa versa.

“Buffy, let me in we need to talk.”

“Xander, go away. This isn’t the time.”

“God damn it, Buffy. Spike is dangerous!”

Without thinking, Buffy opened the door and looked at Xander. “Spike, dangerous? I think you need to look into a mirror.”

Xander stepped in and grabbed Buffy’s arm. “I need to look in a mirror? How about you, or haven’t you noticed your neck?” His fingers roughly brushed up against the mark, making her wince in pain. Spike launched himself at Xander in full demon mode. Xander flew across the room and landed in the corner. Stalking over, Spike growled and grabbed the prone body. He shook Xander like a rag doll and threw him into the kitchen. Buffy grabbed Spike as he continued to beat Xander. She watched kicks to Xander’s stomach and punches to his head. She pleaded with Spike to stop, but he just growled and continued. Satisfied that his prey, the man touching his mark on his mate, was unconscious, Spike bent down, ready for a meal and punishment.

Willow came in and chanted and yelled, “Separate!”

Spike’s body flew through the kitchen, hitting the basement door with a bang. The wood complained and threatened to break from the impact. His unconscious body slumped down as Buffy ran towards him. Gathering his body up in her arms she rocked him, hoping that he would wake up soon. Xander’s bloody body skidding across the kitchen to the opposite side during Willow’s incantation. Willow calmly walked over and stooped down, feeling for his pulse. Finding a faint one, she hurried over to the phone and called 911.

Buffy had Spike’s head in her lap as she cried for the man and demon she loves. Looking up, Spike saw the total grief on her face. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He tried again and rasped, “Slayer?”

A/N: Sorry for the lack of updates, writers block. I feed my muse chocolate and strawberries, but he refused. Then I offered my blood…evidently my muse likes blood. Not a lot of dialog, mainly because at this moment in time Spike or Buffy do not know how to say what they are feeling, they only can convey it with emotions they are sharing through the bond. In the middle of this chapter I moved forward a day, but I have chosen to omit some “scenes” i.e. Spike and Buffy’s first conversation about her neck

With her eyes wide open, Buffy looked down. Willow was yelling something, but white noise surrounded Buffy. All she could see was the face of Spike staring up with his startling clear blue eyes. She saw his mouth move and some where in the back of her head she heard him speak his first words since she found him in the warehouse but her brain couldn’t process those syllables. She felt her spirit detach from her body, rising up, and looking down at the scene.

Xander, poor misguided Xander, was on the kitchen floor partially under the kitchen table. She saw his torn shirt soaked with his blood, it crawling through the fibers, spreading its red color everywhere. She saw that his arms were outstretched and not moving. Buffy watched Willow frantically try to stop his face from bleeding from the claw marks marring his skin. Willow pushed down on his wounds with any cloth she could get a hold of bloodied dishcloths, napkins, and paper towels littered the floor. She looked over at Spike and her body. She watched as he looked up at her blank face. His fingers ran across her neck, surveying the damage he had done. Spike’s eyes teared up as her pressed his fingers against the puncture marks. The bruising now turned almost black with the force of his mating bite. She felt, rather than heard, him whimper in distress with his knowledge it was his bite. Spirit Buffy wanted to scream. She tried to order herself to go back into her body, but nothing seemed to work. Willow was at the front door, letting the EMS workers in to work on Xander. She saw the man and woman EMTs enter and look around. They noted Spike in a catatonic Buffy’s arms and then Xander. Immediately they started work on Xander. Willow walked over to Spike and said something he shook his head. Quietly, Willow raised Buffy up with magic and helped Spike open the basement door and helped him take Buffy down the steps. It was weird to see herself float down the steps. She watched the EMTs work on closing Xander’s wounds. He looked so peaceful, so young. He resembled the Xander that he was in high school doing the Snoopy dance and eating hot dogs off a stick. She knew he had seen so many horrible things, experienced so many horrible things that he was never meant to see or do. She saw the boy from an abusive home that lead such a normal life, the young man dating Cordelia, and the man marrying Anya. She saw the friend that would drop everything and come running when she needed him. She saw the protector looking out for Dawn. She saw the Xander that would come over just to talk, the man that ate all her sandwiches, the man that rented the whole Freddy Kruger series and insisted on a marathon in the living room when she was distraught over Riley. She saw the man that had a child. She saw him hold and coddle his little girl all the while telling his wife that she was beautiful. The EMTs were loading his body onto the stretcher, the straps and buckles being put in place. She saw the man that planned against her, the man who called the Watcher’s Council, the man that stepped out of the black sedan and walked calmly up to her house. Tears of friendship and understanding fled her eyes and ran down her non-existent face.

She felt it, felt her body calling her spirit back. She felt Spike’s arms hold her and Willow stand in the kitchen doorway, watching the EMTs and the basement. She felt the dark and damp air surround her as she struggled to consciousness. She felt the love and fear flow from Spike into herself. Opening her eyes, Buffy saw Spike and he saw her. Words didn’t have to pass, actions didn’t have to take. They both knew that they made it out of the nightmare.

~*~*~

Willow knocked on the backdoor the next day. Dawn opened the door and let Willow enter. Willow came in and looked around. Any evidence of the previous day had been erased. Buffy and Spike closely sat at the kitchen table, reading a newspaper together. Spike looked up as Willow sat on the opposite side. He wasn’t happy with Willow, but he had to give her a break because she did come through at the end. Not only did she warn Buffy about Xander and his grand plan, but she also saved him from killing Xander. Spike wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad, but he was grateful that he didn’t have to regret it. He gave her a nod and went back to reading with Buffy. Willow took the opportunity to study the two. She noticed Buffy’s neck was not as bruised as it had been yesterday, but the two puncture holes were still red and not healed. It almost looked like they had been opened again. Spike definitely looked better. His eyes didn’t look cloudy and confused. She noticed they sat very close to each other. Buffy finally looked up from the newspaper and noticed her. Willow suspected that Buffy ignored her on purpose, but decided to ignore that. Buffy had every right to ignore her presence. She put the paper down, and rested her hand on top of Spike’s on the table. “How’s…” her voice faltered, “how’s Xander?”

“Alive. He woke up this morning in a daze. He thinks he’s still in high school. He doesn’t remember the past few years.”

“Huh,” Buffy shrugged her shoulders and squeezed Spike’s hand.

“What about the wanker…watcher team? Are they still around?” Spike asked quietly. He looked over at Buffy and smiled a little.

“I don’t think so, Spike.” The three sat in the kitchen in silence. Willow could see that Spike and Buffy were even closer than ever. Their bodies seemed to move as one. She saw pure adoration shining through Buffy’s eyes towards Spike and amazement through Spike’s. Willow wondered about the first conversation they had regarding the bite marks, but it obviously went alright by the way they were sitting together.

~*~*~

Spike looked down at the beauty he called love. Buffy was cuddled up next to him in the basement. Dawn and her housemates came home earlier in the day, forcing the two to go down in the basement. Buffy didn’t want to explain the bite marks and bruising on the side of her neck and Spike just wanted to be around Buffy. Dawn collected spare blankets and pillows to make them more comfortable during the day light hours. Spike sat down on the softened palate and Buffy curled up in his lap. He held her close as she started to fall asleep. Her eyelashes fluttered as she dreamed. Spike took this time to study the wounds on her neck. Feeling guilty that it was him that hurt her Spike cried silently as he held her. He didn’t cry for the bite itself, but for the way it happened. He didn’t even remember it. Buffy woke up to a strange feeling, a feeling she hasn’t felt for a long time, guilt. With her eyes closed, she mentally thought over the past couple days looking for anything that would make her feel guilty. Xander’s situation? No, she definitely wasn’t feeling guilty over that. Xander was still alive, even though he didn’t remember the past 8 or so years. Willow? No guilt found there. Looking up, she saw Spike’s tear stained face and knew that it wasn’t her guilt she felt, but his. His tears told the story of love and loss. She reached up and ran her hand against his cheek. He opened his eyes and saw her watching him. Slowly, the tears stopped, not from relief of guilt, but the love and adoration that Buffy sent his way. He watched her carefully as she sat up and turned to face him. Sitting on her knees, Buffy gazed into Spike’s eyes intently.

“Baby, I just have one this to say: you have nothing to feel guilty about. I could have stopped it if I wanted to.” She ran her hand up and down his face, trying to comfort him.

After a couple of minutes, Spike replied, “How? How can you say that? Have you looked at your neck?”

Buffy shook her head, “This has nothing to do with my neck. We were intimate and the emotions we both were feeling led up to the claim.”

“But I wasn’t even there.”

“Yes, you were.”

“It was him, my sodding demon.”

“He’s part of you, I love you, all of you. When your human side was… well, your demon isn’t very different than your human side except he did a lot of grunting and growling. He understood me, loved me, and protected me. He did everything you would have done. Now, I admit he wasn’t as gentle as you are, but he still made sure I was alright.”

“But the bruises…” He brought his hand up to her neck and rubbed them.

“Will heal. Spike, I can’t change the past and neither can you. I know it wasn’t perfect, but it happened.”

“Buffy, I just… I wish I…”

“Spike, I wish you had to, but that’s not how it happened. Maybe the fates were saying to us that we were dragging our feet about it.”

“Maybe.”

“Any ways, it’s not like you didn’t reclaim me last night before Dawn got back.”

“Buffy…”

“No, you have claimed me you can’t take it back. I don’t want to hear you even think it, OK?”

“Can you hear me think?” He chuckled.

“I’m starting to. I got pretty good reading your demon self and predicting what he wanted. With the claim and being able to sense your emotions, I bet I can hear you think.”

“What am I thinking now?” Spike moved his hands to rest of her waist.

“That you want to shag me into oblivion.” She wound her hands around his neck.

“Oh, you CAN read my thoughts.” His tongue curled under his front teeth.

“Oh, not now, Spike. We need to go to the hotel for that!” She swatted his shoulder and sat back down into his embrace.

“Awe, pet.” Spike pouted. “Ok, how about that talk we keep dodging?”

She sat up, “Spike, I love you, you know that right?”

“Yeah,” he looked at her warily.

“Then that’s all we need to talk about.”

“Not true. Buffy, before… before Angelus got me, we weren’t doing to good.”

“True, but this isn’t the time nor place to work on that.”

“OK, pet. Another thing that will wait.” Spike said. Thinking to himself, Spike was worried that this avoidance would be their downfall.

~*~*~

They arrived at Buffy’s hotel room shortly after sunset. Buffy went into the bathroom to freshen up since she spent the day in a cold damp basement. Spike took the opportunity to look around. He was impressed with the furnishings the hotel had to offer. It was quite upscale. Shaking his head, Spike thought this was the kind of place Buffy should have been in from the start.

Buffy came out of the bathroom in her workout clothes. No words passed between the two, but the intent was clear. Buffy needed to work out some frustrations before they talked.

The room was filled with flickering lights. On every surface there were candles of all different shapes and sizes. Her mouth formed a perfectly formed ‘O’ as she stepped through the threshold. Spike was standing in back of the bed holding two champagne glasses. He was dressed in a dark blue suit with a white shirt and blue tie. He stepped towards her and extended his hand. She took the offered drink and looked around the room. “You didn’t have to do this.” She whispered.

“For my lady, I’d do anything.” He mumbled as she avoided his eyes.

“I don’t deserve this.” She finally settled her eyes on his, tears in her eyes.

Spike nodded, “Yes, you do, my love, and I want to give it to you.”

“Oh, Spike, I’m so sorry. I was so terri… ” He cut off her apology with a swoop of his mouth. His tongue took advantage of her slightly parted lips and delved deep into her mouth. He took the glass from her hands and managed to set it down on the closest surface, the dresser. She brought her arms up to his shoulders and wound them around his neck, deepening the kiss. She put her emotions and apology into the kiss. Spike took her emotions and gave her his as his tongue and lips caressed hers. His hands came down to rest on her hips as they stood there pouring their hearts out to each other with just a kiss.

Air became necessary for Buffy and she pulled her mouth away from his. She peppered little light kisses along his jaw and to his ear. Spike licked his way towards her neck and nuzzled the sensitive skin around her ear. He moved his hands to pull her tighter against his erection and closer to him. Suddenly Buffy pulled away, embarrassed that she was still sweaty and clad in her workout outfit. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

Her eyes were cast down and she fidgeted with imaginary lint on her shorts. She avoided his eyes again and stepped back. He brought his hand to her chin and gently tugged on it to bring her face up to his. “What’s wrong, kitten?” She diverted her eyes once more and tried to take a step back. “Baby, don’t do this. Talk to me.” Her body started to shake with embarrassment as she closed her eyes. “Buffy, what’s going on?” Tears started to leak from her eyes. He brought himself up next to her as he tried to sooth her. “Please, baby, you are scaring me. What’s wrong?” He was frantic with worry as her body convulsed with tremors. At least she didn’t step back again and let him hold her. Her body tremors were so strong; they started to rip through his body, too. They were in danger of falling to the floor. “Baby?”

He bent down and swooped up her legs as he held her shoulders. He carried her small body towards the bed, so they would be more comfortable. He sat down in the middle of the bed and settled her in his lap. The tears were streaming down her face, like a waterfall. He reached for one of the pillows and put it behind his back as he started to rock her convulsing body. He held on to her, whispering soothing, loving words into her hair as her emotions racked her body. Her eyes were still closed, but she held on to the front of his shirt like it was a lifeline. He caressed her back and shoulders, rocking them gently. It was obvious that she needed to cry, let the pent up emotions out. When she came back from heaven all those years ago, she refused to let him do this for her. She had kept all her emotions bottled up so no one could hurt her. Spike thanked whatever higher being that allowed her to heal from that traumatic experience and allowed her to freely live with her emotions like she was doing. The tears slowed and the tremors reduced their intensity. Her arms crept up around his neck again as she buried her face in his shoulder. She turned her body towards his, as she got more comfortable in his embrace. He kept rocking their entwined bodies and whispered soothing words as she came back into reality. She sniffed as he reached around to the nightstand to grab the tissue box. He took one out and started to blot her face dry. She took it and carefully wiped her nose. Her red, puffy eyes looked up into his kind, loving eyes as the last tremor ripped through her body. She took a deep breath and relaxed into his embrace. He continued to hold her as her body finally regained its composure.

“Th-thank you, Spike. I don’t deserve it, but thank you.” She moved to get up from his lap. All too aware that he was waiting for an explanation.

“Luv, yes you do. You deserve the sun, the moon and stars, diamonds and emeralds. You deserve everything and more some. Baby, please tell me, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She diverted her eyes once more. “Everything.” He nodded, finally understanding her frustration. He brought his hand back under her shin and made her eyes look at him again.

“Baby, I understand. A little overwhelmed, huh?” She nodded. “Friends not as friendly anymore?” Another short nod. “Afraid I am going to leave you?” He put the last one in to see how she would react. She shook her head ‘no’ vehemently and squeezed her arms tighter around his neck.

“Oh dear, look what I did. Cried all over your nice suit. I’m sorry, honey.” She tried to change the subject.

“No big deal, baby. Want to talk about it?” He wasn’t letting her off the subject so easily. They needed to talk it out so it didn’t happen again.

“Let me go, please?” She wiggled around trying to pry herself out of his embrace.

“I’d rather not, kitten. I need to feel you right now.” She stopped struggling. “So what brought this on?”

“It. it’s silly.” She ducked her head down, staring at her lap. He followed her gaze and held tighter, waiting for her to continue. “I-I… um… should go take a shower.” He continued his hold, not willing to let go of the beautiful creature in his arms. “Spike, please… it’s stupid.” He shook his head, demanding the truth from her. “I ruined your suit, ok?” He shook his head again. “Please, Spike, let me go take a shower.” He shook it again as her mouth started its pout. “Fine. I came in here all sweaty and icky and here you stand all clean and polished. I got you all yucky.” He recognized her voice as the truth voice.

“Kitten, you did no such thing. Point in fact, you came in all glowy and sexy and I am not worthy to be sitting here with you.” He petted her back as she started to open up. She lifted her head and looked at him.

“It’s not just that. I don’t know. Everyone seems to hate me. My decisions. Everything. Spike, I want you to know, no matter what, I love you.” He nodded in understanding. “Never let me go?” He nodded again in agreement and moved his head to capture her lips. She shifted out of his lap, onto the bed. He followed her lips, not breaking contact. She lay down and he followed. His hands moved to her breasts as he started to massage them. She moaned deep in her throat as his hand slipped up her top to find her bare breasts. She moved to remove his tie, but he stilled her hands.

She looked up questioning. “I’ve got plans for you that don’t include the tie, baby. Well, actually later… that involves the tie.” She blushed. “But right now? Need you to go and get ready. You’ve got a date.” She smiled at him as he let her go. Buffy made her way into the bathroom.

Spike pulled up to a dark, abandoned looking warehouse. If it hadn’t been for the other cars surrounding the building Buffy would have thought Spike had lost his mind. He helped Buffy get out of the car and escorted her to the side of the building and then opened the unmarked, heavy iron door and led her inside. The room was darkly decorated with lavish and plush fabrics covering the walls and floor. He walked over to the mirrored elevator and punched the down arrow. Buffy came up next to him and smiled at the picture in front of her. Spike did not reflect, but he took out his handkerchief and waved it behind her, making her chuckle. “Did I mention you look ravishing tonight, sweetheart?” He whispered as the door silently opened and they walked inside. Buffy wore a very dark blue halter styled dress. The hem was cut on a bias starting above her knee and ending half way down her calf. Small, delicate high-heeled stiletto shoes adorned her feet. She chose to put her hair up in a loose French twist with tendrils falling down her face, her makeup was almost non existent and her deep Hawaiian tan that had yet to disappear.

“Yes, but it doesn’t hurt to say it again.” He had in fact told her when she walked out of the bathroom, again in the hotel elevator and once more outside as he helped her into the car. He even mentioned it a couple times on the way out of town and into the next one. Spike curled his tongue under his front teeth and moved in to kiss her. Buffy moved slightly away to ask another question, “So where are we going?” It was one question he had refused to answer throughout the whole drive.

Spike shrugged, “Down,” and added a gesture with his word. He frowned when she moved away again. “If you don’t come here and kiss me, I’m going to burn up.”

Buffy chuckled and moved closer to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and nuzzling her nose into it, “If I kiss you will you tell me where we are going?” Spike nodded dumbly as her careful assault drove him mad.

“Underground Palace,” he breathed as she nibbled on his lower lip. Much to Spike’s dismay the elevator stopped its downward travel and the doors opened up into a lobby with a hostess at the other side. Leading Buffy out of the elevator, Spike spoke few words with the hostess and they were off. The couple followed the hostess through the hot nightspot. Spike caressed Buffy’s back as they walked past jovial, slightly inebriated guests to their private table in the back corner of the room. The various low tables were scattered around the room with party dwellers dancing around them. Customers sat low on little soft pallets next to some of the tables that were filled with exotic food and alcohol. Buffy swore she saw something that looked like a big urn with tubes coming out of it near the bar. Her eyes widened as she thought about how she heard some people would inhale drugs like that. Hired dancers gyrated around the room, bringing a very Middle Eastern feel to the current party going on. The hostess pulled back a heavy dark blue curtain revealing a plush booth and large table to their eyes. Buffy’s eyes widened as she took in the table setting. Pillows of every color, size, and shape filled the booth. Two very tall, elegant and colorful bottles sat on the large table, surrounded by many other little colorful bottles and dishes. Votive candles were spread throughout the little niche. The walls stood out with plush, thick fabric. While she was enchanted, Spike stooped down and unbuckled her high heels. Finding the way out of the haze, Buffy looked down to see Spike taking off her shoes and caressing her toes. He helped her climb up onto the raised bench and pillows, guiding her down to a sitting position with out giving the whole room an eyeful of his candy. Happy that she was tucked away in the corner, Spike bent down and removed his own dress shoes.

The hostess pulled the heavy drape back around the table as Spike situated himself next to Buffy. Sitting back, Buffy looked around. The interior of the curtain was made out of a midnight blue velvet with gold flecks weaved into it. The fabric made a sort of a tent in the corner. Spike’s arm was wrapped around her shoulders as he laid back into the cushions and pillows. Buffy settled back into his embrace and looked around. Covered and opened dishes covered the large table. Buffy looked over at Spike questionably as he shrugged. “Just sit back, sweetheart, and enjoy. This place is supposed to be the best.” As of on cue, a scantily clad woman peered into the tent like structure.

Her outfit covered all vital parts, but even so, the light green, flimsy, ‘I dream of Jeanie’ garb made Buffy jealous as Spike spoke with the woman. The waitress, Buffy snorted at the idea, explained about the two bottles of special wine and the different exotic foods on the table. She also pointed out a dark blue cord set in the back of the corner to summon her if they needed anything. Thankful that they were alone again, Spike grabbed the closest bottle and sniffed the opening. Deciding to try the other, Spike got on his knees and reached over effectively loosing contact with Buffy. She sat back and watching him sniff the other bottle and begin to pour the wine it held.

~*~*~

A few hours later…

The couple in the make shift tent were currently lying down on the palette, sated for now. The waitress, at least who Buffy thought was a waitress, had yet to come back as she had promised. They found ways of entertaining themselves without someone peaking in on them. Loud sounds of music and merriment filtered through the curtains, but neither occupant was curious about the wild party on the other side. Sometime during the third and fourth glass of wine, Buffy decided to make use of the large space and become horizontal. A couple minutes later, Spike pounced onto her, creating a very sensual display for no one outside of the tent to see. The food was delicious, if not just a little erotic with the hand feeding and aphrodisiac ingredients.

They lay on the wide cushions, end to end, just resting from previous lust filled minutes. Spike found her leg and brought up her feet up to his mouth. Buffy squirmed as he took possession of each tiny appendage. Each lick and suck made its way straight to her core, setting her on fire. Buffy squirmed under his ministrations as his fingers lightly danced up her calf and thigh. She knew that the whole night was a plan for seduction, but she didn’t care. Buffy stopped squirming as much as Spike’s tongue found her soft instep and began to nibble on the tender flesh. Focusing on breathing, Buffy felt his fingers draw intricate designs along her leg and knee. Her head began to feel heavy as Spike’s hand found the soft skin of her inner thigh. Watching her eyelashes flutter closed, Spike continued his gentle journey on her skin. He wasn’t particularly aiming for her wet core, but he definitely wasn’t ignoring it. Carefully, he swirled his fingers around her damp panties and continued to explore her soft skin. Spike moved his body up and around, so he was in the same direction as Buffy, partially lying on her legs while he continued to play. His fingers slowly dragged themselves up and survey the soft skin where her front thighs and pelvis met. Smiling, he continued up to her soft belly. His fingers continued their exploration around and around her belly button and finally flicking her belly ring.

Gasping for air, Buffy felt her legs tremble with want and need as Spike continued to sensually play with her. She felt like screaming when his fingers lightly bypassed her wet juncture and continued their slow journey up her body. Groaning, she felt him move his body to mimic her prone position, but he still continued teasing her with his fingers, instead of giving her what she wanted, what she needed. She felt the tiny circles his deft fingers created around her stomach. Her breath hitched as she felt the first flick. She knew that he knew what that did to her and yet he continued the journey up her torso, abandoning the swirling and twirling around her belly. This was Spike’s own form of torture, and she knew it well.

Actually, she realized as she thought about it, she didn’t know it very well as it had been barely weeks since they gotten back together. And it felt like most of that time had been spent apart. Between the getting to know him again, fighting about Angel and the way she said his name, and Spike’s fragmented self, they actually hadn’t spend a lot of time exploring like this. She thought back on their time in Hawaii and how perfect it seemed to be. Back then they were together with no one to judge them, their relationship, or their past. Traveling to Sunnydale together seemed like a good idea and the natural progression of their lives, but Buffy wished in the deep dark recesses of her mind that they stayed on their island where real life and real situations didn’t interfere with them. Xander and his mess weighed heavily in her head as she prayed for him. The situation with the Council of Watchers was still prevalent as was the new slayer. How could she help this one if she no longer believed the mission and the players were right anymore? Lost in thought, Buffy didn’t notice Spike’s fingers ceasing as he realized she was no longer caught up in the seduction.

Coming out of her reverie, she realized Spike was now propped up on his elbow, watching her. A half smile touched her lips as she ran her hand down his face, caressing his cheek. Spike turned his head to nuzzle his nose into her warm palm as they lay there watching the other. An unspoken message drifted between the two as the air turned from sensual to contemplative. Bringing her hand down to his shoulder, Buffy sighed. Spike watched the low light of the candles dance around her body, barely touching her golden skin. The sexual thoughts that danced around them came back with full force as he settled back down, this time with his head pillowed on her breast. Her fingers itched to play with the soft hairs on his head as he settled down.

Neither one moved for a long time. From the sound of it, the party outside the curtain was still going strong. The faux privacy created by the walls, curtain, and staff made it feel like they were back on the island; alone, in their own little world. Grateful for distraction, the two stayed put until the sounds from outside had long since quieted to a dull whisper and the moon crested and began falling in the sky.

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