Chapter 8

Anne woke up Friday morning before Matt, and that never happened. Excitement and apprehension were warring for dominance over her stomach. Tonight was it. Tonight, Spike and Matt would meet, and life would never be the same. Not that it had been the same since he showed up at the Glamour Factory just two short days ago, but this seemed more permanent. She worried whether or not she should tell Matt that Spike was his father right away, or wait and see how they reacted to each other.

Groaning at the non-stop turning of her brain, she flopped onto her back, resting an arm across her forehead. Her need to protect Matt and her want for him to know his father were at odds. Not to mention her own confused feelings towards the vampire. He'd shown a different side of himself the night before, relaxed and teasing. He smiled more last night than she thought possible. He seemed as normal as Mark, and nothing like the monster with a reputation of over a century of blood, death and destruction.

Sighing, Anne gave up on sleep and slipped out of bed. Padding quietly down the hall, she looked in on Matt, smiling at the sight of his tiny frame bathed in the light of the sun from his window. Closing the door, she went to the kitchen, the coffee pot her first stop. Once that was started, she turned to the refrigerator, to pull out eggs and cantaloupe. Cooking always soothed her, helped her think, so Matt would get a big breakfast this morning.

Putting the eggs on the counter, she went to get the cutting board and knife. Slicing into the thick skin of the fruit, her thoughts turned to Spike once more. Her reaction to him physically and her feelings towards him were in a jumbled mess. She knew she wanted him, but that was the only thing that she knew for sure. She cared about him, but what if that was just an extension of her love for her son? However, when he touched her, looked at her, she felt like she was the only woman on the planet. And she liked it. A lot. She felt a pang of arousal shoot through her at the memory of how they parted the night before. God, he COULD make her burn.

Moving on auto, she scooped seeds out the cantaloupe, then put it aside to get her first cup of coffee. Anne sighed again, savoring the warm brew, before going back to her task. Then of course, there was the problem of Spike's vampiric state. At least the daylight issue. He would never be able to see his child in the sun. He would never be able to attend baseball games, or soccer games, never be able to go to barbecues. In all, not as important as him just BEING there, but it was still a large part of life. She was afraid of how it would make Spike feel, not being able to do those things with his son. Then, a though struck her. Maybe Willow could help.

The thought of her friend brought on a whole other set of fears, but she slammed the door on them. *One thing at a time, Annie,* she told herself, placing the sliced fruit onto a plate. She then plucked three eggs out of the carton and broke them into a bowl. Getting the milk from the fridge, she whipped it with the eggs. Next came cinnamon, a touch of sugar, and some nutmeg. Starting a pan to heat on the stove, she grabbed the bread and started to make french toast.

By the time she was putting the last piece on the platter, Matt walked into the kitchen, Scooby clutched firmly beneath his tiny arm.

"Mornin' Mommy," he mumbled, holding his free arm up. Smiling, she turned off the stove, and scooped him up into her arms.

"Good morning, baby. Sleep well?" He nodded, his nose picking up the scent of something sweet.

"Ooh, fresh toas'." He cried, hugging her tight around the neck, and spotting the fruit, "And cantlope." He squirmed to get down, eager to get to the food. Chuckling, she dropped him to the floor so he could scramble up into his chair. Piling two slices on the plate, she slathered them with butter, then topped it with syrup. Then, she put a slice of cantaloupe on the side and took it to the table. He dug in while she poured him some milk, and got herself another cup of coffee.

"Fanks," he said around the mouthful of food, as she sat the glass in front of him, then sat down.

"You're welcome. And don't talk with your mouth full." He scrunched up his nose, but nodded. Swallowing, he spoke again.

"Whassa matta, Mommy?" She blinked, not realizing her inner turmoil was evident on her face.

"Nothing, honey." She denied, then took a sip of coffee. "Guess what."

"What?" Big, blue eyes met hers, the pure innocence in them making her heart clench. She suddenly found herself wondering whether or not anyone had ever made William french toast and sat with him while he ate it.

"We're having a guest for dinner." She pulled back from the thoughts, and made sure her voice was cheery.

"Unca Mark?" Anne smiled.

"Nope. This is a new somebody. He's a friend of mine from when I lived in California." She somewhat lied.

"With Gramma?" He asked, shoving another bite in his mouth. She reached out with a napkin and wiped the syrup off his chin, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill.

"Yeah, with Gramma." The image of her mother swam through her mind. It was about time to call her again, and maybe this time they could work out a visit. Matt happily munched on his breakfast, oblivious to his mother's troubles. Maybe she was worrying too much, she thought, watching him eat. Her son was a happy child. Easy and outgoing, inquisitive and smart. Things would go well, they just had to.

Finishing her coffee, she sent him off to get ready for school. Then, she cleaned up the kitchen and went to get dressed, mentally counting the hours until dinner.

~*~*~

"I can't believe you did that to me, Willow." Xander said, glaring at her over his coffee cup. They were sitting in the diner across from the hotel, eating breakfast.

"I said I was sorry." She grumbled around a bite of eggs. He had been bitching since she knocked on his door, offering to buy breakfast to make peace. He just wouldn't let it go.

"Just to go see some hick band in some dive bar. Has it been that long since you've had a man?" His words were dripping with sarcasm. She looked up sharply, not caring for what he was implying.

"You would know." She shot back, ignoring the pang of shame that shot through her. His eyes narrowed at her allusion to their one and only time together. It had been right after Oz and Cordy left, and they had gotten drunk, crying about their exes. One thing led to another, and, well, Willow had never been able to look at him in the same way since.

"Well, if sex is all it's about, let's go. No need to go looking when it's right here." He sneered, angry and a little hurt. He'd thought their time was special. Not something that would ever happen again, but special.

"So not going there, Xander. And it wasn't about sex. I didn't do anything with him. NOT that it's any of your business." She spat, pushing her plate away. She'd suddenly lost her appetite. "I'm going out with him today." Xander's eyes widened.

"What?! But we still have to look for Buffy." He protested, truly shocked that she had forgotten their mission. Willow sighed, and dug through her purse for Tylenol. She had struggled all night about whether or not to give him Buffy's message. That and sweaty, naked dreams about a certain Native American guitar player, but mostly about Buffy. Right. Xander was not one to back down once he got an idea in his head. Downing the pills, she took a deep breath.

"I saw her last night."

"WHAT!!" His cup came down hard on the table, sloshing its contents over the rim.

"Shhh." She hissed when the other patrons turned to look curiously at them. She grabbed a handful of napkins to help him sop up the mess.

"Why didn't you come get me?" He accused, his eyes heated.

"One, what would you have done besides freak out on her? Two, I didn't know that she knew Mark. Three," deeper breath, "Spike was there." Every muscle in Xander's body stilled, save the one jumping in his cheek. Anger and hatred filled his dark orbs, causing her to shrink back from their intensity.

"That. Bastard." He ground out. "I knew he knew where she was. Did she dust him?"

"No." Her brows drew together and her nose scrunched up. "It actually looked like they were on a date." Willow leaned back and crossed her arms over her chest, a nasty smile curving her lips at his horrified sputtering.

"Date? With Spike? Are you sure? Cause, remember, he's evil and soulless. Why would she be on a date with him?"

"He didn't seem evil and soulless last night. In fact, he seemed pretty much a regular guy. No fangs, no grr. In fact, he didn't insult any of us once. And there was no talking of killing at all." She told him, watching disbelief cloud his eyes.

"So, you sat down and had a heart to heart with Captain Peroxide?"

"No. We were all sitting at the table together."

"So, you're telling me, that since the last time we saw him, Spike has, what? Changed? I don't buy it. It's probably just some big plan to get close to her and kill her and the kid." Willow's eyes widened, but Xander didn't notice. He was too caught up in verbalizing his inner feelings. "Yeah, that's it. I told her that she should get rid of it. Then she wouldn't have any of these. . .NICE feelings towards him."

"Xander." Willow finally found her voice, her hand snaking across the table to grab his wrist.

"What?"

"How do you know about her son?" She watched him pale as he realized his mistake. He dropped his eyes to the table, suddenly very interested in cleaning up the coffee spill. "XANDER!" Her voice rose an octave, and this time it was he that was worried about people staring.

"What? Well, maybe I saw her in L. A." He said, averting his eyes.

"Maybe?!" she hissed, her eyes blazing. "What. Did. You. Do?"

"Nothing." Xander replied, still not looking at her. Willow threw her napkin on the table and stood, feeling the need to get out of his presence before she hurt him. Badly.

"She told me to tell you to wait a couple of days. She has things going on in her life, and she can't deal with you right now. And frankly, neither can I." She then turned on her heel and left. Xander watched her leave, anger and resentment flaring in his eyes.

~*~*~

Anne pulled the grocery bags out of her car, slamming the trunk and walking to her door. She had exactly one hour until she had to get Matt from school, and she still had to clean. Granted, she had just cleaned two days before, but she was nervous.

Letting herself in, she went into the kitchen to put the steaks into the fridge. She had pondered a long time on what to feed a vampire. Angel never ate human food, and until the night before she hadn't known that Spike did. At least with steaks, she could leave his bloody and cook hers and Matt's to a more consumable degree.

As soon as she was done putting the food away, she ran around the house, making sure everything was just right. She even did a sweep of Matt's room, even though, for a four year old, he was neat. When she was done, she still had fifteen minutes to spare. Pushing her hair out of her face, she grabbed her purse and left again.

~*~*~

Spike paced restlessly around his room, working on his second pack of cigarettes. He couldn't remember ever being this nervous about anything in his life or unlife. How do you go about meeting your four year old son for the first time? What do you say? How do you act? What if the kid hated him?

Growling at all the thoughts swirling around in his head, he lit another cigarette off the burning end of the last. He'd tried and tossed out many opening lines. Finally, he decided to keep it casual, follow Buffy's lead.

He, the Big Bad, was scared shitless. The two most important things in his world were counting on him, and he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to measure up. He was a VAMPIRE for pity's sake. He was never supposed to be a father. Never supposed to fall in love the Slayer. As that thought penetrated his panicked brain, he stopped dead, turning it over.

"When the fuck did that happen?" He asked the air. He waited for the panic to set in again, but it never did. Something about admitting this to himself calmed him. A slow smile began to spread across his face, and a lightness he never felt before bloomed in his chest. He was in love with the mother of his child. Put like that, it was natural. Now, in love a Slayer, was a totally different thing. But, it still felt natural.

Crushing his cigarette out, he climbed into bed, his view of the night to come drastically improved.

~*~*~

"Hi, Willow." Mark said, when she opened the door. She returned his huge grin with a tight smile and moved to let him in. "What's the matter?" He asked at the look on her face. She turned around, anger still evident on her face.

"Xander. He's just so. . .ugh. . .grr. . . and uuhh." She spat, her face flushed with anger, a scowl marring her pretty features. Mark walked over to her, and placed his hands on her shoulders. She felt herself relax almost immediately, and her smile was a bit brighter this time.

"What did he do?" His thumbs traced lightly over her collar bone, leaving pleasant tingles in their wake.

"He let it slip today, that he saw Buffy in L.A. while she was pregnant." She saw the flash of temper in his eyes. "You knew already?" He nodded, sighing.

"Yeah, Anne told me."

"Anne? Who's. . .Oh, Buffy. I didn't realize she was going by her middle name." Willow said. Mark shrugged a shoulder.

"I guess. That's all I've ever known her as."

"Do you know what happened? I got so mad at him that I walked out. If I know Xander, whatever he said to her was a large part of why she didn't come back." Willow's green eyes searched his face, and saw his reluctance to answer. His loyalty to Buffy made her heart ache.

"It's not my story to tell." He answered finally, sliding one of his hands down her arm to rest lightly on her waist. "I will say, that some of it was intense. You should ask Anne." She nodded in understanding.

"I tried to call her, but she wasn't home." Willow found herself leaning towards him, the feel of his rough hand on her skin sending shocks to all the right places. She was wearing a dark red blouse that exposed the curve of her shoulders, the smooth line of her neck, and just enough cleavage to intrigue.

"It's about time for Matt to get picked up." Matt said, amazed at the softness of her creamy skin. Her eyes were darkening to jade, and he could feel her pulse speeding up under his thumb. He wasn't doing much better, the sudden tightness of his jeans bordering on painful.

"Oh," she breathed, her tongue darting out to moisten her suddenly dry lips. Mark's eyes fixated on the pink tip sliding across the soft flesh. A low groan escaped him before he lowered his mouth to hers. Willow's arms wrapped around his neck, her fingers threading through his long tresses. His strong arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her tight against him. Desire swirled around them, through them, making them burn. Her soft body yielded against his hard one, their forms crushed tight against each other.

Mark couldn't get enough of her taste, her feel. His tongue slid across hers, his teeth gently scraping her lips. Willow's body was pulsing, her blood humming as she tried to get closer. She hadn't felt this way in years, and she desperately wanted more. When his hand slid around the expanse of her waist to reverently cup her breast, she gasped and pulled back, staring deeply into the black depths of his eyes. She gasped again when his palm rubbed over her nipple, his fingers gently kneading the soft swell.

"I think," he began, his voice husky. "That we," he nibbled lightly on her bottom lip. "Should go to lunch." Willow blinked, her hazy brain having trouble grasping his words.

"Wha?" She mumbled, the feel of his hand on her breast going a long was towards making her nonsensical. Couple that with his hard length pressed against her, and his mouth teasing hers, and coherent thought had pretty much taken a hike. He chuckled, the deep, throaty sound adding yet another layer to her stupor.

"I want to know who you are, Willow, before I take you." Her breath hitched again, and somewhere in the back of her mind, she told herself to start breathing before she passed out. He brushed a kiss across her forehead, before reluctantly releasing her. Her body immediately reacted to the loss, and she shivered, suddenly feeling cold. Mark pulled out a cigarette, his eyes roaming over her flustered face. Just as he was about to say 'fuck it' and plunder her sweet little body, a knock reverberated through the room.

Flashing him a smile, she turned to answer the door. Mark lit his cigarette, admiring her slim legs, and the curve of her ass through her denim shorts. *God, she's gorgeous* he thought, smoking absently, craning his neck to see who was at the door. He scowled when he recognized Xander.

"What do you want, Xan?" Willow asked, feeling the pleasant tingles recede to give way to renewed tension. Xander offered her a sheepish smile.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry I didn't tell you." Willow crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at him. He tried to walk past her into the room, but she blocked him.

"I don't understand you. That was something so huge, and you kept it from me, her mother, and Giles. Why?"

"I didn't think that you'd want to know. I mean, honestly, she was having that. . .thing's baby. It's not like it was Angel's. When he had his soul, that is." Xander explained.

"It wouldn't have mattered to me. Buffy is my friend, and I love her. You made it so she had to go through that alone. You even made sure that it took Spike five years to find out he had a child. Where do you get off making decisions for other people? It started with lying to Buffy about me doing the spell, and it just snowballed from there. It's getting so I don't know you anymore." Willow shook her head, her tear-filled eyes searching his face. She'd hoped to see remorse for his actions, but all he seemed to be was sorry he got caught. "Why did you want to find her, if you were so disgusted by her son?" She asked him wearily, wiping the tears away.

"Because, I do love her, and I miss her. I'm willing to look past her. . ." Suddenly, Willow was pulled away from the door, and Xander found himself faced with one pissed off Indian. Mark had heard more than enough out of him.

"You. Need. To. Leave." Mark told him, stressing each word. His eyes were blazing and his jaw was clenched.

"I don't think this is any of your business." Mark's hands clenched into fists, and he struggled not to plow one right into his face.

"Where Anne and Matt are concerned, it is my business," he growled. Willow moved up beside him, lightly resting a hand on his arm. Xander looked confused, not understanding who Mark was talking about.

"Who the hell is Anne?" Mark's eyes shut, and he silently wondered how Spike had managed no to kill this idiot.

"Buffy." Willow supplied, worried eyes trained on Mark. Xander smirked as a thought occured to him.

"Watch out, Will. Looks like you'll have to deal with the 'Ghost of Buffy' with this one." The younger man didn't have time to react before Mark fisted his hand in the front of his shirt, and yanking him forward.

"Let's you and me come to an understanding, shall we?" His pleasant smile was offset by the deadly gleam in his eyes. "I'm not soulless. I'm not evil. And I am certainly NOT a 'thing'. But, I will kill you if you hurt anybody that I care about, and that includes those that they care about." His implication of Spike was clear, not that Mark was concerned that the vampire couldn't handle this loser, it was just the point he was trying to get across. With an icy glare, he shoved the brunette away and slammed the door. Turning to Willow, he caught the look of uncertainty in her eyes. Cursing Xander to a fiery and painful death, he pulled her to him, his mouth crushing hers in a kiss that told her just who he wanted. When he pulled away, they were both panting heavily.

"I think, we need to go to lunch." She said, breathlessly, he entire body trembling from the power of the kiss.

"Yeah." He agreed, stepping back from her. Together, they turned and left the room, neither caring where Xander had gone.

~*~*~

With a deep, unnecessary breath, Spike raised his hand and knocked on Anne's door. He was pleased to see that she had, indeed been doing well for herself, despite the means she had to go through to get it. He listened to the movement on the other side of the door in the second before it swung open, revealing Anne. Her dark hair hung in a braid down her back, allowing her slender shoulders to be exposed. Her top was a pink scoop necked peasant blouse, and she had on a pair of white capri leggings. She smiled wide when she saw him.

"Hi, come on in Spike." She said, and just like that, the barrier was lifted. He smirked when he walked through, before handing her a bouquet. Her eyes lit up, and she squealed a little before taking them.

"Thank you. They're beautiful." She sighed, inhaling the scent of the wildflowers.

"Not as beautiful as you." He murmured, sliding a hand down her cheek. She practically glowed at that, and she leaned up to brush a kiss across his mouth. They both savored the moment, before a tiny voice broke them apart.

"Mommy?" They both turned to see the dark haired little boy, dressed in a pair of shorts and a Scooby t-shirt. Spike stared longingly at the boy, wanting to scoop him up and keep him safe for eternity.

"Matt, come here. I want you to meet Spike." The adults exchanged a glance before Spike lowered to his knee to be at eye level with the boy.

"I like your coat." The boy said shyly.

"Thank you. I like your shirt." Matt beamed with pride, his tiny chest puffing out to make Scooby seem bigger.

"He's my favrit. Spike's a funny name." The vampire grinned at that.

"Yes, I suppose it is." He agreed. "I have another, if you would rather call me that. It's William."

"Nah, I like Spike." Matt took a tiny step closer. "You talk funny too."

"Yeah, I'm from England. You know where that is?"

"Yea, it's cross the oshun." Matt answered, smiling again. Spike returned the grin. Anne watched the exchange with a combination of amusement and terror, feeling as if she were waiting for the other shoe to drop. "C'n I ask you a kestion?"

"Sure." Spike settled in a bit more comfortably, enjoying the child.

"Are you my daddy?"

Chapter 10

Anne and Spike's stunned eyes looked at the little dark haired, blue eyed boy. He regarded them both curiously, waiting for the answer. Spike blinked, and looked at Anne. She half shrugged, them nodded, indicating for him to go ahead and answer. The vampire took a deep breath, and turned his eyes back to the miniature of himself.

"Why would you ask that?" Spike asked him. The look Matt gave him made him feel like he was biggest dolt on the planet.

"I have your face." Well, they couldn't argue with that. Then he waited a beat. "Are you my daddy?" He repeated again.

"Yeah, I am." Spike answered, simply. He wasn't prepared when he found his arms suddenly filled with a squirming bundle of giggling child. He sat, paralyzed for a second, them gingerly wrapped his arms around the warm, tiny body, his eyes drifting closed.

"Mommy was right. You did come back." He exclaimed, burying his face in his father's cool neck. "I'm not ilgityment no more," he cried happily. Spike's eyes shot to Anne, and she grimaced.

"A little boy at school told him that," she explained quietly, wiping away the tears that sprang to her eyes. Spike nodded, feeling, for the first time in five years, the need to kill somebody. Matt pulled away and smiled brightly at his father, and the blonde felt his undead heart constrict.

"You going to stay, Daddy?" If possible, even more emotion swelled in Spike that nearly choked him. He had to wait to make sure he wouldn't break down before answering.

"Yeah, poppet. I'm going to stay." This elicited another squeal from the child, and he hugged his father once more.

"Matt," Anne started, waiting until he turned to look at her. "Why don't you show your father your room. I'm sure he'd like to see it."

"Okay, come on." Matt tugged on Spike's hand, urging him to get up. He stood, curling his fingers around the small hand and gave Anne a sad smile. He'd missed so much, and he found himself cursing himself yet again for ever leaving her.

"You want a beer?" she asked as he moved past her.

"God, yes." He said back, the emotion on his face causing her eyes to tear up again.

"I'll bring it back." He nodded, and allowed the boy to pull him back to his room.

When Anne entered the room a few minutes later, she stopped in the door to watch the scene before her. Spike had shrugged off his duster and was sitting in the middle of the Scooby throw rug, listening to Matt explain the intricacies of Lincoln Logs.

"An' you haf to put the pieces like this." Matt told him, very carefully constructing the log house. Anne never knew where his patience came from, cause, God knew she didn't have it. But, watching father and son, and the very intent way Spike was listening to him, as if he was whispering the secrets of the world, Anne figured it out. He was even more like Spike, or maybe it was William, than she had realized.

Spike glanced up at her, smiling. She moved into the room, and knelt down with them.

"Whatcha building there, Michelangelo?" She asked, handing Spike his beer. Matt looked up at his mother, his lopsided grin still in place.

"A fort." Anne looked suitably impressed.

"A fort, huh? For what?"

"To keep out cowboys." Anne snickered. At Spike's confused look, she laughed even harder.

"Mark's influence. He came over here wearing a shirt that said 'My Heroes have always Killed Cowboys', and Matt demanded to know what it meant. So, Mark told him. The abbreviated version of course." The blonde pushed back the jealously that surged over the other man getting to be in his child's life. Mark seemed decent enough, and at least he wasn't Xander.

"You guys want to come out on the patio with me, while I cook the steaks?"

"Yeah." Matt cried, tugging on Spike yet again. The vampire grinned at the excited child and followed him. Anne trailed behind them out to the kitchen, and through the french doors to the brick patio. It was illuminated by the mosquito torches and the outside light over the kitchen door. The warm night air smelled sweet with the potted plants she had arranged around the small surrounding wall. A wrought iron table and chairs sat in the middle of the patio, and a grill sat close to the wall. A large bowl with a salad in it sat on the table, aluminum foil covering it from any bugs that went exploring.

Matt scrambled into one of the chairs, pulling the foil off to sneak a cucumber out of the bowl. He smiled brightly at Anne's raised eyebrow, unabashedly shoving the vegetable into his mouth.

"Sit down, daddy." Spike didn't know if he'd ever get used to hearing that, as his undead heart turned in his chest. He blinked back his tears once again, smiling at Anne as he moved to do just that. He too reached into the bowl and plucked out a tomato. Which he promptly choked on when Matt's next question popped out.

"Why are you cold daddy? Are you sick?" Spike coughed, looking helplessly at Anne. She just arched a brow and went into the kitchen to get the meat. Successfully leaving him on his own, he turned back to the boy, and struggled with his answer. Before he could come up with a suitable one, Matt's confused look changed into one of enlightenment. "Are you a vampire? Mommy said vampires are cold." He smiled, pleased with his discovery.

"Your mommy told you about vampires?" Spike was a little stunned. He never expected that. Anne walked back out then, trying to hide her smile.

"Yeah, she dinnit want me to be fraid of the dark. She tol' me they can't come in without being vited, first. So, don't be fraid."

"Well, she's right." Spike slid a look over at the busily grilling Anne, pulling his cigarettes out and lighting one.

"But, if you're a vampire, and my daddy, are vampires bad?" Matt looked at his father, eyes trusting. Anne turned then, curious as to how he'd answer. Spike took a large swallow of beer, and a drag of his cigarette before answering.

"Yes, most are. There is an exception here and there." He finally said, smiling at his child. Matt seemed to accept that, and reached into the bowl for another cucumber.

"Uh hum." He looked up at his mother, who was standing next to the table now, tapping her foot.

"Yes, Mommy?" Matt asked, innocently, looking at his mother with wide eyes. His innocent act might have worked, if it weren't for the cucumber he was speaking around.

"Quit poking around in the salad. Go wash your hands, dinner's almost ready." She ordered, not turning back to the grill until he was out of salad range. She jumped a little, when she felt Spike's hands settle on her shoulders.

"That was wrong, kitten." He whispered, his soft voice in her ear, and his cool breath on her neck sending pleasant chills over her skin.

"Hey, welcome to parenthood," she told him, giggling. "I forgot to mention he has this awesome memory. We had that conversation last year, after Halloween." She said, leaning into him a little. Whenever she was in his company, her feelings seemed less scrambled, and more centered and sure. Gone was her intense nervousness of the morning, in its place was a sort of contentment, almost like this was what was meant to be.

"I'm going to get you back for that." He promised, his teeth grazing her earlobe. She shivered in response, and felt the accompanying dampness in her panties.

"Spike, Matt is awake." She reminded him AND herself. "Go sit down. The steaks are done." She ordered, hearing the pounding feet of their son heading back through the kitchen. Reluctantly, he stepped back and turned in time to pluck the four year old up and twirl him around. Matt giggled helplessly in return, liking the way his stomach dipped while he was spinning.

"Again, Daddy." He demanded, and Spike happily complied. Anne turned, holding the platter and watched, her heart flip flopping in her chest. This was what it could have been like from the start, she thought, cursing the twist of fate that took her from L.A. If she'd only stayed. . .no, no regrets. Things were as they should be now, and that was all that mattered.

"Alright, you two. Sit." Obediently, they did, and she walked over to join them. Once they were settled, they began to eat, Matt regaling them with tales of what went on in San Rios Learning Academy for Pre-Schoolers.

~*~*~

After dinner, they moved inside, and were now sitting in the living room. Matt sat securely between his parents, constantly touching or looking at Spike, as if he was afraid he would disappear. When Anne announced that it was his bedtime, he protested.

"Listen to your mum, bit. I'll see you tomorrow." Spike told him, the look in his eye brooking no argument. With a hanging head, Matt climbed off the couch, then launched into his father's arms. Tears sprang to the vampire's eyes once more when he heard the tiny declaration.

"I love you, daddy."

"I love you too." He whispered back, dropping a kiss on the dark curls on top of his head. Anne had to brush her own hand over her eyes to stem the flow.

"I'll be right back." She told him, when Matt climbed down and started towards his room. Spike could only nod, not trusting his voice. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it while waiting for her to come back.

Fifteen minutes later, she walked back out into the living room to find him staring intently at the pictures on the entertainment center. They were all of Matt, from birth til current. Some were with her, others were with Mark, but the majority were just him.

"Hey, he's all settled." She said, coming to stand next to him. He was currently looking at one that had been taken in the hospital. Anne was sitting up in the bed, looking tired but happy, with the red faced baby in her arms. Mark had been camera happy that day, having taken several shots in the space of a few minutes. She had been annoyed at the time, but now, she was happy that she had them.

She watched Spike as he lifted a finger, and traced it over the picture.

"I missed so much," he whispered, his voice thick and rough. She laid a hand on his shoulder, and rested her cheek against his arm.

"I'm sorry."

"Why didn't you stay in L.A.?" He asked, his tone slightly accusatory. She sighed, and moved away from him to sit back on the couch. She knew this question was coming, and she had kicked herself a thousand times for not doing just that. But at the time, she was so young, and so scared. She didn't really know WHAT she was doing.

"Come here," she said, patting the cushion next to her. She waited until he was seated next to her, his arm curved around her shoulder before she began.

"Xander found me."

Los Angeles, 1998

"I'm coming," Buffy yelled groggily, running an agitated hand through her duel colored hair. She knew it looked like shit, but the doctor had pretty much told her no dying of the hair, no medication unless cleared through him, no smoking (duh), and no drinking (again, duh.) And truth be told, she didn't give a crap how she looked. Nobody was around to see her anyway, so what did it matter? Making sure she had a stake ready, just in case, she opened the door. Then stood and stared at the man standing outside.

"Hi, Buffy," Xander said, his tired, apologetic face offering her a smile. Anger burst through her shock, and she glared at him.

"What are you doing here? How did you find me?" She shot out, looking down the hallway to see who else he brought with him. Finding that he was alone, she crossed her arms over her rounded belly and waited.

"Can I come in?" He asked, instead of answering her. With a roll of her eyes, she turned away and walked over to the couch, propping her swollen feet up on the coffee table. Xander came in, and turned and closed the door.

"What do you want, Xander?" She asked wearily, when all he did was stand there. She turned to look at him, and saw him staring at her stomach. Glaring once again, she grabbed a pillow and drew it across her. He shook himself and walked over to sit in one of the chairs, his dark eyes searching her face.

"I'm sorry, Buffy. For not telling you about the spell," he said finally. Tears sprang to her eyes, and she wiped them angrily away. She had promised herself that she was done crying when the doctor told her that the baby was healthy, and human. Amniocentesis were wonderful for that sort of thing apparently.

"Doesn't matter now," she said, twisting the stake in her hand. Angel was gone, Spike was gone. Her mother kicked her out. She had nobody now.

"I just," Xander started, shoving a hand through his hair. "I just didn't think. . ."

"That's right. You didn't," she cut him off, her snapping hazel eyes meeting his.

"You're right. I didn't. All I could think about was what he did to Ms. Calender. And Willow."

"That was Dru." She reminded him, gripping the stake.

"I know, but it was under his orders. I was against the spell all along. But, that's no excuse. I'm sorry." He sounded so sincere, that Buffy found herself relenting. Sighing heavily, she looked at him, the pain in her eyes nearly crippling.

"I'm not going to say it's alright, Xander. Because it's not. What you did. . .cost two people a lot." She said, watching the confusion pass over his face.

"Two people?"

"Dru went into Acathla with Angel." She said, her throat tightening once more. She huddled deeper into the black t-shirt she was wearing, Spike's smell long gone, since she'd obviously had to wash it. But, it still comforted her to wear it.

"I don't see how that's a bad thing," Xander replied. Anger snapped into her again.

"No, you wouldn't." He recoiled back, not knowing what he'd said wrong.

"Buffy, I'm not understanding here. Dru was one crazy bitch. What did it matter if she went to hell?"

"It mattered to Spike," she whispered. Xander's eyes widened, still struggling with confusion.

"Again with the 'so'?" His callous tone grated her last nerve, and she stood to throw the pillow at him. She was too afraid to touch him. He raised his arm and deflected the projectile, surprise evident in his features.

"You know what? This is obviously way beyond your limited brain capacity. Why don't you just go home?" She snapped, stalking into the kitchen. He followed her.

"I'm sorry if I don't understand the big deal. She was evil. Spike's evil. What do I care about their pain? They tried to KILL us, Buffy. Many times." He reminded her.

"I KNOW that, Xander. Hello, I was there."

"Then what's the big deal? You should be glad that Spike's suffering." Buffy closed her eyes and prayed for patience, one hand coming to rest on her stomach. Xander followed the action, his eyes staring in disbelief. Pushing the insane thought away, he took a deep breath and started again.

"Look, I don't know what to say. Okay? It's hard for me to feel sorry for him. His whole goal in life was to kill you, and he almost did. If it wasn't for that organ, who knows what might have happened." Buffy just sighed, and turned away.

"What do you want, Xander? There's more to this than an apology."

"I wanted to come and take you home." She snorted at that.

"Home? I am home," she said. It was funny how she felt just that. This apartment, full of Spike's stuff, was her home. Sunnydale seemed a million miles away now.

"No, Buffy. This is isn't home. This is running away. Your mother is worried." Guilt tripped through her, but she shoved it down.

"Well, she should have thought of that before she kicked me out," Buffy snapped, turning to face him again.

"She was scared, and confused. You can't hold that against her."

"The hell I can't. She thought I killed Kendra, Xander. How's that for motherly loyalty?"

"No she didn't. Not really, but think about how it looked. You were found over her body." Xander tried to soothe, but he only managed pissing her off more.

"Yeah, I know.” She reminded him. "But that's not the point, is it? She's my mother. How could she think that of me?" Tears spilled from her eyes, and Xander took a step forward. Her hand shot up to tell him to back off.

"Go home, Xander," she told him again, pushing past him to go back to the living room.

"Not without you," he said firmly. "You're still the Slayer, and the Hellmouth is still in Sunnydale." He resorted to using her duty against her.

"I don't give a fuck." She almost giggled at the look that crossed his face.

"How can you say that?" She shook her head, truly amazed at how thick he could be sometimes.

"I have more important things to worry about now" was all she offered.

"What, like that baby?" She looked up at him, her eyes slitting dangerously. "You didn't think I couldn't tell. Jesus, Buff, you're skin and bones. That little puff in the tummy area could only be one thing. My question is, it's not Angel's, who's is it?" His dark eyes begging her to lie to him.

"None of your business," she snapped.

"You fucked him, didn't you?" Xander's shock was thick, almost as thick as the disgust that replaced it. "How could you? And now you're pregnant? God, does a guy have to be dead to get between your legs?" His head snapped around as the flat of her hand connected.

"You're just pissed cause I wouldn't give you a chance," she spat. Fury burned in her eyes, rising up to meet his.

"Yeah, I was. Until two seconds ago." He shot back, rubbing a hand over his cheek. She raised her chin defiantly, her hands clenching into fists.

"Leave. Now."

"Buffy, I'm sorry. Look this doesn't have to ruin your life. Just, terminate it and come home. Nobody needs to know. I'll never tell." He said, imploringly. She looked at him as if he had just told her that the moon was really made out of cheese.

"You don't understand, do you? I want this baby."

"What? How. . .why?" He couldn't form a coherent thought, her words shocking him to his core.

"This is my only chance at having anything resembling a normal life. I'm taking it Xander. Calling and Hellmouth be damned. I'm sorry if that shatters your perfect little image of me, but I'm being selfish for once. I sent Angel to Hell to save the world. I'm not killing my child too." Buffy asserted.

"Even though it's father is a monster?"

"That just makes it more of a miracle. Neither of us were supposed to ever have children. It happened for a reason, and I'm not giving it up. So, go home Xander. Forget you know me. The new Slayer will be called, maybe you can get lucky with her." She ran a hand through her hair, and glared at him. Xander raised himself up to his full height, hurt, anger and shock twisting his face. He stalked past her, throwing out one last thing before leaving.

"This isn't over Buffy." Then, he was gone. She stared at the door for a full minute before bursting into a flurry of activity. She didn't know what he had planned, nor did she want to be here when he came back. Because she knew he would be back. Probably with her mother and Giles, and Willow for good measure. Picking up the phone on her way to the bedroom, she called information to get the number for the bus station, then called and got the time of the next bus leaving. She didn't care where it was going, as long as it got her out of here.

Grabbing a duffle bag out of the closet, she started to throw the few clothes she had bought into it. She then went into he bathroom and cleared out her stuff in there. Walking back into the bedroom, she flipped the mattress off the bed and grabbed the money that Spike had left her, all the while dialing her doctor's number. She left a message with his answering service that she had to leave town, and would call him when she got to where she was going so he could give her a referral. Then, she threw the phone on the box spring, and took one last look around. She made a mental note to call Willy as soon as she got to wherever she decided to stop and give him a new message for Spike. It had only been three months, and she was pretty sure he would still be outrunning his grief for awhile. If he ever went back to Sunnydale, that is.

Hefting the bag onto her shoulder, she grabbed her jacket off the hook on the door and left the apartment without a backwards glance.

San Rios, Arizona, 3 months later

Mark watched as the very tiny, very pregnant woman walked into the bar. She was a pretty little thing, way too young to be in there. When she came to a stop in front of him, her hazel eyes were full of pain.

"Are you okay?" He asked, concern etched on his face. Buffy looked up at into the kind, dark eyes of the stranger.

"My name is Anne Williams. And I need some help."

Arizona (continued)

Chapter 10

"And, I've been here ever since." Anne finished, risking a look at his face. He had sat quietly while she talked, his eyes trained on her face, his hand drawing light circles on her arm. He was surprised that she had used his name, and it touched him. And, Xander had better pray that they didn't meet face to face any time soon. He wouldn't be held accountable for his actions.

"What were you afraid of?" He asked, twirling a strand of hair over his finger. She sighed heavily, sinking deeper into the curve of his arm.

"What wasn't I afraid of?" She replied. "I think the biggest thing I was afraid of was fucking up. Again. I was given this gift. . .I won't lie to you, when I first found out that I was pregnant, I was terrified. I spent the first month, crying. I was the Slayer, pregnant by a vampire. A soulless vampire to boot." She felt his arm tense around her, and she reached for his hand. He wanted to know, he was going to have to hear it without freaking. "But, after the first sonogram, and I saw the little blip in the screen, I was amazed. This little life, was ours. It was you and me, and for whatever reason, the Powers, God, the Fates, I dunno, gave it to us. I didn't want anything bad to touch it. Xander showing up and sprouting off his prejudice, no matter how grounded, just made it all real. If that was his reaction, then what would my mother's or Giles' be? I was even afraid of what Willow would say, and out of them all, she was the only one supportive of me and Angel." He frowned at the mention of his sire, and involuntary image of Dru popping into his head. "As much as I loved them, I didn't trust them with my son," she said, guilt and shame lacing though her words.

"Your mum's never seen him?" She shook her head, shifting so she looked at him fully.

"I've sent pictures. A month after Matt was born, Mark talked me into it." Again, Mark. Spike was having a hard time controlling the jealousy that threatened to choke him.

"How come you and Mark never. . .?" he trailed off, leaving it open.

"How come we never got together?" Her hazel eyes searched his face, a soft smile touching her lips. His expression was a cross between fear, jealousy, and a deep vulnerability that she had never known was there. "Maybe I was waiting for something," she whispered, shifting again until she was sitting on her knees, her torso pressed against his side. Their faces were close, her hand splayed against his chest. His arm slid around her waist, the implication of her words making his eyes darken to sapphire.

"What might that have been?" he whispered back. Their mouths hovered, inches from each other, their breathing quickened. He could hear her heart race, smell the blood speeding through her veins. His own reaction to her heat, her very essence, pressing tight against his jeans.

"You," she gasped, finally closing the distance between them. This time, the kiss was different. They played instead of plundered, teased instead of tempted. Even though they had kissed before, this was the first done out of feeling, not physical reaction. And that made it sweeter, more intense. When they pulled back, they were clinging tightly to each other, tears of lost time sliding down their cheeks.

"I'm not gong anywhere, Buffy," he told her quietly. "A stake through the heart is the only thing that will take me from you and Matt." He ran a thumb over her cheek, wiping the moisture away.

"Promise?" Her voice was small, her eyes hopeful.

"Promise." Their mouths touched again, gentle whispers and caresses, barely there touches. When they separated again, she snuggled next to him, her head resting on his chest.

"There's a carnival coming to town next week. Me and Mark take Matt every year." She started, rushing through the rest. "Would you want to take us this year?"

"A carnival. With rides and stuff?" He clarified. The last one he'd been to he'd taken a bite out of a teenager that had consumed so much junk it nearly rotted his fangs. He didn't figure she'd appreciate the memory.

"Yeah, and enough sugary goodness to keep the dentists in the area busy for the next six months," she chuckled. He snorted, thinking that what she had said almost mirrored his own thoughts.

"It would be my pleasure." He responded, his voice gaining a higher class accent than he normally used. She smiled, and stifled a yawn. Spike brushed his lips across her head, and nudged her a little.

"Think that's my cue, kitten," he said, and with a sigh, she sat up. "I'll come by tomorrow?"

"Yeah. That'd be great." She smiled shyly at him, biting her bottom lip.

"Til tomorrow, then." He said, rising to his feet, pulling her with him. She followed him to the door, leaning in for his kiss once more. "Goodnight, Buffy."

"Goodnight, Spike." She watched as he walked to his car, leaning her body against the door. With a final wave as he pulled away, she closed it, and locked it, then went to get ready for bed, her happiness putting a bounce in her step.

~*~*~

Spike pulled into the parking spot in front of his room, his mind replaying the entire evening over and over. His son was so beautiful, so smart. He pushed open the door, a love like he had never felt blooming in his chest. And Buffy. . . Her warmth and light touched him in ways that he never thought possible. Slamming the car door closed, he was too enraptured in his thoughts of his family to hear the person behind him. Suddenly, he found himself on his knees, stars dancing behind his eyes, and pain slicing through his skull. He growled as another blow landed across his kidneys, leaving him sprawled across the pavement.

Several more blows followed in quick succession, and through the roaring in his head, he was able to make out another roar. The roar of a car engine, and the screeching of tires. Footfalls and yelling penetrated his mind, and he realized that the attack had stopped. He growled at the hand that touched him on his back, blinking rapidly to clear the spots. When Willow's concerned face came into focus, he frowned.

"Wha. . .? " He gasped, pushing himself up to his knees. He turned his head, rage beginning to burn bright as he took in the scene before him. Mark had Xander jacked up on the hood of a black, '68 Camaro, his vampiric hearing picking out the words.

"What the hell did I tell you?" Mark growled. Willow looked on, fear evident in her eyes. Mark was bringing her home, (he had called out of work) and she had recognized Xander with a crowbar attacking the blonde from across the street. Mark had made the turn quickly, screeching to a halt behind the DeSoto, and jumped out before Willow had a chance to react. She had scrambled out and ran to Spike, relieved to see he had just been surprised and stunned. Now, he was already on his feet, in full game face, stalking towards the brunette men.

"Let him up, Tonto," he snarled. Mark turned to glare at him, not fazed by the demonic visage of the vampire. He'd known what he was before, no need to act all girly now. Seeing the look in the vampire's gold eyes, he let go, backing up to stand next to Spike.

"Don't kill him. Anne wouldn't like it. And don't call me Tonto" was all he said as he stepped further back.

"Oh, I won't kill him," Spike said, advancing on Xander. "You want a piece of me, boy? Care to take me on now that my back isn't turned?" he growled.

"Hello, vampire. Have to take any advantage I can get." Xander sneered, sliding off the hood to his feet. Spike let out a bitter laugh, and shook back into his human features.

"Hey, I'll even let you take the first shot." He stood, arms held out at his sides, chin held at an angle to give the other man a good shot. Willow's eyes darted between the three, alarm all over her face. Xander was standing in front of the car, still clutching the crowbar. Spike was in front of him, every muscle coiled to strike. And Mark was next to her, the look on his face making him seem just as dangerous as Spike. He was prepared to jump in should it get out of hand, and she wasn't sure if she liked that idea. She tried to keep her eyes on all of them at once, waiting for the moment to send them in different directions if need be.

Xander looked at Spike, feeling some of his bravado slip now that he was actually faced with the pissed off vamp. He silently cursed Mark and Willow's timing. He had planned on strike and retreat. Get the hell out of Dodge before Spike recovered enough to kill him. Now, he had a choice. Fight, and deal with the possibility of death. Or run. He didn't care for the thought of running, so he fisted his hand around the crowbar and swung. The hit sent Spike's head snapping around, a cut opening on his jaw. But, as he slowly turned back towards Xander, the man felt an icy finger of fear trail down his spine at the evil grin that was on the blonde's face.

"Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?" He said, in the second before his fist plowed into Xander's stomach. The boy doubled over, his groan of pain filling the air. Spike grabbed a fistful of his hair, bringing his head up and slamming it back down onto his upraised knee. The satisfying crunch of Xander's nose did nothing to alleviate the rage flowing through him, so he reached down to pick him up by the scruff of his neck. "Wanker," he spat, cocking his arm back to send another punch flying. Before he connected, he felt himself flying through the air, the sound of Willow's voice fading as he landed against the side of the hotel.

"Separate," she cried, sending Xander careening across the hood of Mark's car to the pavement on the other side, and Spike to the wall of the hotel. "Freeze!" This effectively immobilized them both. Mark watched the display with a mixture of amusement and awe. Spike was letting out a stream of colorful curses and Xander was groaning in pain from the concrete.

"That's enough. Both of you," she said, looking pointedly at Spike. He scowled, but nodded. She had allowed Spike his hits, feeling that Xander deserved them. However, she would not let the vampire decimate her best friend, no matter what he had done. It wasn't physically fair.

"Let me down, Red. I'm done." The look she gave him told him just how much she believed that. "Oh, come on. S'not like you can't do the hocus pocus and freeze me again." He said, looking exasperated. With a nod, she did, and Spike hit the ground in a heap. Giving him a warning glare, she turned and walked over to Xander. He was laying on the ground, blood pouring from his nose, and two spectacular black eyes blooming.

"Xander?" All she got was a cough in response. Kneeling down next to him, she placed a hand on his chest. "Xander?" She called again. He managed to open his eyes, pain and fury swirling in their depths. "That was stupid," she told him, shaking her head.

"Yeah, well, I never was too bright," he said, his forced laugh causing him to cough again.

"What were you thinking? Are you crazy?" she asked him, absolutely furious with him.

"Had to try, Will, before he hurt Buffy."

"Why in the bloody hell would I hurt Buffy, you git? She's the mother of my child!" Spike growled, coming up behind Willow. Mark moved to the other side, looking down at the younger man.

"So, that makes you all good and not wanting to kill the Slayer? Right. Sorry, ain't buying it."

"Even if that were the case, Xander. Buffy can handle herself." Willow reminded him.

"Yeah, and she's always got Tonto, here," Spike said, jerking his thumb at Mark.

"Quit. Calling. Me. That." Mark said through clenched teeth. Spike snorted, and looked away.

"God, what is it with men?" Willow exclaimed, interrupting the fight starting behind her. "Is the testosterone clogging your brains, or something? Live or undead, you're all a bunch of morons." With a disgusted flip of her hair, she stalked away. Let them kill each other, she didn't much care at the moment. Shooting a glare at Spike, Mark took off after her, barely making it through her door before she slammed it.

"Going to kill me now?" Xander asked without humor. Spike could see that's what he expected.

"No. Not going to waste my time. But, I will tell you this, stay away from me and mine. Understand?" He shifted back into game face, pleased to see the fear penetrate the hate in the boy's eyes.

"What are you going to do? Try to play family man now?" Xander let out a bitter laugh, rolling to climb up to his knees. "You're a monster, Spike. A demon. How do you think that's going to help in the parent department, huh? What can you teach him about being a PRODUCTIVE member of society? How to dismember a body in thirty seconds or less?" Spike struggled to keep his hands at his sides, and not show Xander that he could do that last one in a LOT less than thirty seconds.

"I mean it, whelp. I don't want to see you around me, or Buffy, OR MY SON. Ever." His voice dipped dangerously low, his gold eyes blazing. Xander shrank back, his ire not dissipating despite the threat in the blonde's eyes. But, he didn't say anymore, just watched as Spike turned in a swirl of black leather, and strode away.

~*~*~

Mark leaned against the cheap wood dresser of the hotel, while getting his first taste of the redhead's anger. He had to admit, he was a bit unnerved by the flashing black of her eyes.

"It was bad enough that Xander goes and attacks Spike, then YOU have to go get all offended cause he calls you by a stupid nickname!" She cried, crossing her arms over her heaving breasts. "God, petty much?"

"It's offensive." He tried to defend himself.

"Spike is always offensive. He wears it with pride, like his duster." She shot back. "You'll just have to get used to it. Especially if you want to keep peace around Buffy." She paced the length of the room, her face flushed with anger. Why did guys have to be so stupid? She was upset about Xander, then Spike and Mark have to start a pissing contest. She could almost feel Spike's jealousy towards Mark, even through his rancor at Xander. And it so didn't help with the guitar player getting all sensitive about Spike's usual antics. Bad situation made worse in a matter of seconds, just add male ego.

Mark sighed and stepped in front of her, a brow quirking at the narrowing of her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I'll try not to let it get to me," he said. Willow looked doubtful, but she knew he really wasn't the one she was angry with. She wasn't even mad at Spike. Xander was the one in the wrong here, and she was having a hard time having any sympathy for her friend.

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go mental. It was just. . .too much. Ya know?" Mark nodded. "I don't know what to do about Xander. The longer we're here, the more he seems to lose control," she said, leaning her forehead against his chest. He ran his hands over her arms, soothing her.

"As my old Indian grandmother used to say, everybody has to find their own way. He'll either find a way to deal with it, or he'll alienate himself from the people he supposedly loves," he said. She tilted her head back and smiled up at him.

"Old Indian grandmother, huh? She got anymore insightful sayings? Like, what to do when you find yourself incredibly attracted to a man you just met?" She asked, uncrossing her arms and looping them around his waist. His eyes turned black, and he grinned, causing her heart to skip.

"Yeah. She'd say, go for it." Willow's giggle was cut off by the sudden possession of his mouth over hers. She moaned softly as he kissed her breathless, his expert mouth moving sensuously over hers. His hands ran over her arms and across her back, sliding under the hem of her shirt to skim over the smooth skin of her back. She shuddered at the feel of his warm hands on her back, fire starting to run through her veins.

When they broke away, he continued to draw circles on her back.

"I can't, not yet," she whispered, hiding her face in his chest.

"Willow, look at me." He waited until she did, then continued. "If all I wanted was an easy lay, I would have taken one of those girls up on their offer last night. I don't expect anything. I want you, not going to lie about that. Almost since the second I saw you. God, was it only yesterday?" He was amazed that it was happening so quick. But, then again, his grandmother always told him, when it's right, you just know. Maybe that was why he never really pursued Anne. He loved her, and he knew that he could FALL in love with her, if he let himself. However, something always held him back. Holding this woman in his arms, he thanked the inner voice that kept him from falling completely over the edge for his friend.

"Yeah, it's kinda scary isn't it? I have . . .limited experience with men. I was in love with Xander for most of my life. Then I met Oz. But, that didn't happen like this." She said, wonder filling her eyes. She missed the grimace at her admission of love for Xander. He was thankful her taste had improved. "I don't want to get hurt again," she admitted quietly.

"I don't want to hurt you." He replied, smiling down at her. "There's no rush, for anything. I can wait." She smiled up at him, wondering if she could. The more she learned about him, the more she was around him, the more she wanted to let this feeling take her over. She had never believed in love at first sight, and she wasn't sure if she did now. But, something was definitely between them.

"Thank you," she told him, standing on her tip toes to claim his mouth again.

"Better stop this, or I'm going to forget that I'm trying to be noble," he teased. Her face turned the color of her hair, and he found himself charmed by it. "Can I see you tomorrow?" He asked.

"I kinda want to get together with Buffy tomorrow, if you don't mind." Willow said, apologetically. "But, definitely call me tomorrow. Or, should I call you? Is that too forward?" She asked, her brows drawing together.

"I'll call you. In the morning. Okay?" He said with a smile. She nodded, ducking her head, feeling silly. Sometimes she just couldn't keep that nerdy girl she had been from popping out.

"Okay." She mumbled against his shirt. Tucking a finger under her chin. He dropped a light kiss on her mouth and stepped away.

"I'll talk to you in the morning." Mark said with his trademark grin, sending her a wink before turning and walking out the door. Willow found herself smiling like a school girl with her first crush, and couldn't find it in herself to mind. It had been too long since she had felt this way, and she liked it. Doing a quick spin, she turned to go into the bathroom, for a shower then sleep, with dreams hopefully filled by the tall, dark Indian that kissed like the devil.

~*~*~

Spike lay sprawled across his bed, his naked form still tense from the fight. The hand holding his cigarette tapped lightly against his chest, the other thrown over his bleached head. He had tried to get back his earlier good mood by replaying the evening at Buffy's in his head. But, each time he imagined Matt's face, Xander's words would slam into him.

What if the whelp was right? He wasn't Angel, he didn't have the benefit of a soul. He knew the difference between right and wrong, he just didn't care. Or he hadn't. One day in the arms of the Slayer had changed him. He hadn't killed in so long, he had practically forgotten the want for it. But what if it didn't last?

Doubt and anxiety coursed over him, making him feel useless and weak. This wasn't like him. There used to be a time where he would see what he wanted and take it. He wanted Buffy, and he wanted Matt. What was the problem?

"You're a monster, a demon." Xander's voice rang through his head once more, making him growl. He would prove him wrong. He would show him, Buffy, and himself that he could be a good father, and a good mate.

Crushing out his cigarette, he rolled over onto his stomach, and forced the image of Xander from his mind. Nothing would keep him from what was his. He'd made a promise to Buffy, and he would die again before breaking it.

Chapter 11

"Hey, Will." Anne said, throwing the magazine she was holding aside. She and Matt were spending a lazy Saturday morning on the couch, cartoons on the TV. Well, at least she was trying to. Matt had been chattering non-stop about Spike, and how he couldn't wait to tell Sam that he DID have a daddy. He hadn't actually required a response from her, so she had picked up the magazine, pretending to read it while her own thoughts were consumed with the blonde vampire. She had just replayed their kiss on the couch over for like, the thousandth time, when the phone rang.

"Hi, Buffy. I wanted to know. . .if it's alright with you. . .that is," Anne smiled as she listened to Willow stammer, feeling like they hadn't spent the last five years apart. "Would you mind if I come over? Only if you don't mind," she added quickly.

"I want to see you too, Willow," Anne replied. She could almost see the look of relief rush to her friend's face.

"Oh. Good. In about an hour?"

"That'll be great." Anne gave her the address, then hung up with a smile.

"Whossat, Mommy?" Matt asked, looking up from the TV.

"That was my good friend, Willow. She's coming over soon. Wanna clean up your toys for me?"

"A'right." He clamored down from the couch, and started to pick up his stuff. Stretching, she stood and went to throw on some clothes. After she changed into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt with 'The Glamour Factory' written graffiti style across it, she went back out into the kitchen to start a fresh pot of coffee. Her dark hair was twisted up and secured with a claw, her feet bare. By the time she was done with that, and the straightening of the living room, Willow's cab pulled up. Anne had a fleeting thought that her house had seen more visitors in the last twenty four hours than it had since she bought it.

"Hey, Willow. Welcome to casa de Williams." They embraced again when the redhead walked inside.

"Hi. Wow, I love your house." Willow gushed, looking around. She smiled wide when her eyes landed on Matt. "Hello there." His wide blue eyes studied her with an intensity that immediately reminded her of Spike.

"You're the lady in the pitcher by Mommy's bed." He said, feeling pleased with himself. Willow looked over at Anne.

"I have one of you, me and Giles in the library."

"Oh. Well, my name's Willow. And I'll bet that you're Matt." She said, kneeling down to his level. Matt gave her a beaming smile, and she felt her heart melt.

"Yep, Matthew Rupert Williams." He exclaimed proudly. Willow's eyes widened, and she grinned hugely at him.

"Well, Matthew Rupert Williams, I'm very pleased to meet you." She held out her hand, and the giggling boy took it. After they shook hands, Willow stood, still smiling goofily.

"Matt, could you go play in your room for a bit? Me and Willow have to talk about some things. Okay?" He looked a little disappointed at not being able to study this new person, but he nodded.

"Bye."

"Bye, Matt. I'll see you before I leave." Willow assured the crestfallen child. She turned to Anne when he disappeared down the hall.

"He is so sweet, Buffy. And the spitting image of Spike." She giggled a bit at that. Anne smiled ruefully.

"Yeah, I know. And after last night, I am even more convinced that there are absolutely no genes of mine floating around in him. Come on, I put on coffee."

"Last night?" Willow asked, following her into the kitchen.

"Yeah, last night was 'the meeting'." The redhead's eyes widened in understanding.

"How did it go?"

"Great. Just, great." An almost secret smile touched Anne's lips as she took two blue, stoneware mugs out of the cabinet.

"Good. Wish things had stayed that way." Willow took the mug of coffee from Anne, and moved to sit with her at the table.

"What do you mean?" she asked, confusion in her hazel eyes. The witch took a deep breath, not really wanting to tell, but knowing she should. Xander was already in enough hot water with the former Slayer, and this would make it worse.

"We caught Xander attacking Spike last night at the hotel."

"What?" Anne's voice had lost all of it's warmth, and her head turned, as if encouraging Willow to repeat it in her 'good' ear.

"Xander attacked Spike last night. With a crowbar." She repeated, feeling miserable. The storm clouds that drifted through Anne's eyes was enough to make her nervous.

"Why?"

"I don't know. Guess he thought he was being helpful. You know Xander. Believe me, he hasn't changed much in five years." She replied with a snort, taking a sip of her coffee. She watched as her friend's knuckles turned white on the hand she was clenching into a fist.

"And he wonders why I didn't go home," she said with a roll of her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Buffy. For what it's worth."

"It's not your fault, Will."

"Maybe it is. If I hadn't done that spell to get us here, then it wouldn't have happened." Willow felt guilt surge once more. She grasped the fingers that snaked out to cover hers.

"No, I'm glad you did. I didn't know how much I missed you until I saw you," Anne told her. Sighing, she pulled her hand away. "Xander is just going to have to get over himself," she said with a shrug. Feeling the need to change the subject, she met Willow's eyes again.

"So, how's things on the Hellmouth."

"Now, they're good. Before, after you left. Not so good." Anne felt her own guilt surface at the thought of leaving her mother and friends at the mercy of every Big Bad in the state of California and beyond. She pushed it back, telling herself she had done her duty. She had already died once for the world, and she had killed Angel. That was enough.

"Why? What happened?" she heard herself asking. Silently, she cursed, not really wanting to hear.

"Well, right after you left, nothing too big happened. It wasn't until graduation that shit hit the fan."

"Huh?" Willow took another sip of coffee, before continuing.

"The Mayor tried to ascend."

"Again with the huh?"

"He wanted to become some higher demon thingy, and take over the world or something. You know the drill. And, of course, our graduation fell on the day that was just perfect for this. So, he gave his speech, then turned into this giant snake thing and tried to eat the entire graduating class."

"Lovely." Anne said, eyes stunned.

"It was intense. The new Slayer, Faith was there. She blew him and the school up."

"Whoa." Willow giggled at the expression on Anne's face.

"On the plus side, Snyder got eaten."

"Cool, score one for the snake demon."

"On the minus side, Harmony got turned by some vamp that worked for him."

"Oh, God. Tell me somebody staked her to put you guys out of your misery."

"Finally, Xander did. Using Cordy for bait." Both girls laughed at that.

"Again. Didn't she ever get tired of that?" The light in Willow's eyes faded a bit.

"Finally. They broke up senior year. She got tired of him always bitching about you being gone. Right after graduation, she left. I get a postcard every once in awhile."

"That's too bad. After I got over her somewhat grating personality, I thought they were kinda cute. Nobody could quite put Xander in his place like Cordy," Anne said, remembering the brunette fondly. Time softens a lot.

"Yeah." Willow thought about the times she had wanted to curse the prom queen for taking Xander away from her. But now, all she could do was wish that she had stayed. Despite all the bitching he did about her now, Xander still loved her.

"Speaking of exes. . ." Anne prompted, sipping her coffee, eyebrows raised in question.

"Oz." At the flash of hurt that crossed Willow's face, Anne back pedaled.

"Oh, you don't have to say if you don't want. I have no right to ask," she stammered. She didn't want to cause Willow pain. There had been enough of that going around before she left.

"No, it's not that. It's just. . .ho boy. He cheated on me." Anne's eyes nearly popped out of her head at that. She NEVER expected that from Oz.

"Oh, no. I'm so sorry. With who?" She was incredulous.

"Some she-wolf." Willow said bitterly. "She was the lead singer in some band that was playing at the Bronze. From the first time he saw her, he was like, entranced, or something. He started to break dates with me to go see them play. Then, one night, I dunno, he just gave in. She was always telling him to give into his wolf nature, don't cage the beast, and all that shit. And after that, it got worse."

"I don't see how," Anne told her. She got up to refresh their cooling cups, wishing she could take away the pain in her friend's face.

"Well, after their little. . .thing, he told her to get lost. He loved me and he couldn't hurt me like that."

"Good thing he waited until after they'd already done it," Anne sneered. Willow snorted.

"She took exception. Cornered me in the chemistry lab. God, Buffy, she had this way wicked control over it. Almost like she could turn it on and off. It was scary. Even more scary than the grr. Cause, she KNEW what she was doing."

"What happened?" Anne sat on the edge of her seat, her vivid imagination providing pictures to go with her friend's words.

"Oz came in right when she was about to make me her midnight snack. He killed her." Willow ran a finger around the rim of her mug, tears brimming in her eyes from the still fresh heartache.

"Oh, god, Will, I'm sorry." She repeated, knowing it wasn't enough, but what else could she say?

"Yeah. Me too. He left after that, saying he was afraid of the beasty side, and he didn't want to hurt me again. I haven't seen him since." She lifted one slender shoulder, her bright hair spilling over it.

"Well, maybe it was for the best," she offered lamely. How many times had she told herself that over the years? And how many times had it rung hollow?

"Maybe. But, the damage was done before she attacked me. I don't know if we could have ever gone back after that," Willow said quietly. They both sat quietly for a moment, each pondering the ways their lives had twisted and turned over the years. They broke out of their revery by a knock on the door.

"Who could that be?" Anne mumbled, rising to go answer it. She returned a moment later, a knowing smile in her face. Mark walked in behind her. A bright smile replaced the frown that had marred Willow's pretty face. He flashed her a grin in return, quirking a dark brow at the snickering Anne.

"What?"

"Nothing. Want some coffee?" She asked, reaching in to grab him a cup.

"Sure. Hey, Willow," he said, his deep voice softening. Anne bit back another snicker at her friend's smitten attitude. In all the years she had known him, he had NEVER acted like this around a girl. Not even her. *God, he must have it bad,* she thought, turning to hand him his mug. *Good for him* came next when she saw the sparkle in his eyes.

"Hi, Mark." Willow replied, her cheeks staining to a pretty red.

"MARK!" Mark reached down to steady the boy who had attached himself to his leg.

"Hey, there, grasshopper. What's up?"

"My daddy came home," Matt told him, excited.

"I know. Did you like him?" Mark asked in a conspiratory voice, smiling wide at the enthusiastic head bobbing of the child.

"Yeah, an' he's a vampire. Innit tha neat?"

"Isn't" Anne corrected. Matt scrunched up his nose, but never took his eyes off of Mark.

"Very neat." Mark saw no problem with the boy knowing, after all, he was going to find out some day, might as well be now. Willow, however, was shocked. Not appalled. Just shocked. It showed in the huge saucers of her green eyes, and the slight dropping of her jaw.

"Come on, Mark. Le's go play. They wanna talk." Matt told him, his tone very adult. Mark chuckled and allowed him to pull him into the back, casting one last look at the redhead.

"Willow? What's the matter?"

"I. . .I. . .uhm. I guess I just wasn't expecting you to tell him so soon. I mean, I know he has to know. . .it's just weird." Willow finished on a huff. She didn't want to piss Anne off. Anne just laughed.

"He asked."

"What?"

"He asked if Spike was sick because he was so cold, then came to the conclusion that he must be a vampire cause I told him that vampires were cold," she explained with a shrug. "I don't lie to him. There's too much danger in the world," she finished, waiting for the disapproval.

"Well, that's good. Wish somebody had mentioned to me that the nasties were real. Afterall, I grew up over the Hellmouth. Mighta been handy." She shot Anne a smile, happy to see it returned.

"Now, what did you do to that boy? He certainly is smitten." Anne leaned on the table, brow raised, eyes teasing.

"Nothing." Willow's face was the same shade as her hair.

"Did you carpe him?" Anne's tone was sly.

"Oh, God, no." Willow's eyes were saucer sized again, her appearance flustered.

"Why the hell not?" She demanded. "How long's it been since Oz left?"

"Three years. But, I'm not like that," she insisted.

"Neither's he. Wills, it wouldn't be a one night stand with him.. I don't think he knows how to do that." Anne told her, stressing the last sentence. Willow didn't care for the teasing to be directed just at her, so she turned the tables.

"What about you? Have you carpe'd Spike since. . .the last time you carpe'd him?" She snickered when Anne blushed.

"Well, no. But, that's kinda different."

"How? You two at least have a history, and a child. I just met Mark." One red eyebrow arched, as she bit back the smile threatening to expand at her friend's expense.

"Well, ah, it just is," she stammered. They stared at each other for a moment, before erupting into a spurt of giggles. "We have kissed though. A lot."

"So have Mark and I." Willow leaned closer, so they could compare without the threat of being overheard.

"Oh, god. What was it like?"

"Tingles right down to the toes."

"And flip flops of the stomach."

"Oh, yeah. Heart speeding up."

"Blood singing."

"Trying to get so close you're almost inside of him."

"And still, that's not close enough." Anne sat back with a sigh. "And that's just with your clothes ON."

"Yeah." They both sighed this time, lost in thought again. Suddenly, Willow turned serious once more. "I'm sorry about Angel."

"I've been over him a long time now, Will. But thank you. It was hard, for a while. But, once I found out I was pregnant, wallowing wasn't an option." She traced a finger in circles on the table, a sad look haunting her eyes.

"I guess not. Were you sorry that it wasn't Angel's?" Willow asked quietly. Anne thought for a long moment, trying to find the words.

"I think at first I was. But, that day with Spike was so special. So different from anything I had ever experienced before. Plus Angel was gone, and I wouldn't have had even the thin hope that he would know his child. At least with Spike, I knew he was still out there somewhere."

"And now, he's here," Willow finished for her.

"Yeah, now he's here. He's all I think about Willow. You should have seen him with Matt, so sweet. It almost broke my heart. I never should have left L.A. It was my fault they lost all that time." She reached up and wiped a stray tear away. The witch reached across the table and took her hand, offering comfort she hadn't been allowed to give before.

"Why did you?" Anne sighed, and recounted the tale once more, almost laughing at the expressions that crossed Willow's face.

"He said that?" Green eyes flashed black for a second, startling Anne. "Why. . .I'll turn him into a toad. How could he? God, he's just so stupid." Willow cried, her mind conjuring up all sorts of nasty things to do to Xander.

"Willow, it's alright. . ."

"No, it's not. He practically called you a whore, then told you to," she dropped her voice to a whisper, "have an abortion just so you wouldn't have to bear the shame of carrying a vampire's baby. Humph. I can't believe how insensitive he can be." She sat back and crossed her arms over her chest, eyes snapping with indignation. She really didn't understand how he could have grown up with a girl for a best friend and be such a neanderthal.

"It was my own fear that sent me out of L.A., Will. I figured if Xander reacted like that, how would the rest of you? Especially since the baby WAS Spike's. I was wrong. It wasted four years of precious time that could have been spent with Matt knowing his father."

"And what about you? Is that all you want Spike for? A father for Matt?" Willow asked, quietly.

"No, that's not all. I want him." She finally admitted out loud to someone other than herself. Willow smiled at the look of awe on her friend's face. "When we're together, it's like everything falls into place."

"Are you in love with him?" That was the million dollar question, wasn't it?

"I don't know. I'll tell you, when I saw him in the Glamour Factory, it was like this magnet pulled me to him. And, it's been like that every time we see each other. He's all I think about. All I dream about." Anne snickered and shook her head. "I just don't know." The redhead smiled at her friend's confusion, already knowing the truth herself. It was the same way she felt about Mark, and that comparison scared the crap out of her. Deciding a change of subject was in order, she took a deep breath.

"What's the Glamour Factory?"

"The strip club where I worked." Anne fell out in a mass of giggles at the look on Willow's face.

"Strip. . .club? Guess Xander's lead wasn't wrong after all." She stammered, taking a long swallow of her cold coffee.

"What lead?" She asked, giggling again, imaging the look on Xander's face.

"Some girl in the drug store said that a girl that looked like you worked there. I guess she wasn't wrong."

"Must've been Leslie. That cow," Anne sniffed. "She comes in on Mondays trying to get a piece of Mark. She won't take the hint that he's not interested."

"Maybe I'll turn HER into a toad," Willow mumbled.

"Ooh. The little green monster rears its head." They both snorted, grins still on their faces when Mark walked back in.

"And what could possibly be so funny as to have the two most beautiful women in the world smiling like that?" Anne rolled her eyes, liking the way her friend flushed prettily at the compliment.

"You silver-tongued devil. Your grandmother been teaching you how to butter up pretty girls again?"

"Nah, she gave up on me years ago," he said, putting his cup in the sink. "I gotta head out. Missed work last night, so Ralph wants me to come in at one." The black look that crossed his face let them know just what he thought of that. But, silly little things like rent demanded to be paid. Anne watched the pair steal glances at each other before heaving an exaggerated sigh and getting up.

"I'm going to go check on Matt," she said, leaving the kitchen, her chuckle ringing out behind her. The two left in the kitchen stared at each other. Willow felt a nervous flush stain her face as he pushed away from the counter. She briefly wondered if he was ever nervous as he gently cupped her cheek and tilted her face up. She sighed as his lips brushed over hers.

"Not very subtle, am I?"

"No. But that's okay. I'm glad you came by." She said, lightly dragging her teeth over her lip.

"Good," he said, straightening. "There's a Carnival in town next week, want to go?" She nodded, her smile blooming wide. "Great. I'll call you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. I'd like that." Willow was finally used to the heart trip that occurred every time he smiled, but she hoped she never got used to the flare of desire that happened when he looked at her in just the way he was now. Head tilted to the side, lips slightly curved, brown eyes nearly black. She felt dizzy every time he did it, and she so didn't want to lose that feeling.

"Goodbye, Willow," he said, kissing her again. God, she loved a guy who liked kissing, she decided.

"Bye." She watched him leave the kitchen, that silly smile returning.

"Annie, I'll call you tomorrow," he called on his way out.

"Alright. Bye Mark," she called back, her farewell followed by Matt's.

"Bye, Matt. Be good." Then, he was gone.

Anne returned to the kitchen a few seconds later, Matt in tow. She felt happiness bloom in her chest at the look on Willow's face. Awww, sprang to mind again, and she decided to leave Mark alone the next time she saw him, and not tease him mercilessly the way he deserved.

"Hey, want some lunch? The little monster behind me claims he's starving." Matt frowned at the description.

"I'm not a li'l monsta, Mommy. I'm a BIG monsta. GRRR!" He curled his hands and scrunched up his face. Anne shivered in mock terror, squealing as he lunged at her.

"Oh, no. Help me, Willow, help me." Willow got up to join the game, and laughter filled the house.

~*~*~

About a half hour after sunset, Spike knocked once more on Anne's door. He still had some lingering doubts about himself and this family thing, but when Anne opened the door, her smile huge, he pushed them away. Then, Matt got up from his place on the floor with Willow, and ran to his father. Willow covertly inspected his face, glad to see that no evidence of the fight the night before was evident.

"DADDY!" He squeaked, laughing when he was scooped up and spun around.

"Hello, poppet. Miss me?"

"Yeah, Daddy. We're gonna watch movies." He looked over at Anne, giving in and leaning over to kiss her. She returned it happily, giggling at the look of eww that crossed their son's face.

"Movies, huh. Got room for one more?"

"Sure do. I was just getting ready to order dinner. I have something special for you," she said. "A little liquid nourishment," she prompted at his confused look. Realization dawned across his face, making her smile at the astonishment she saw there.

"Thanks, kitten." Clearing his throat, he shifted Matt until he was holding him more comfortably. "Where you ordering from?"

"Pizza," she answered, moving towards the kitchen.

"No anchovies," he called behind her, dropping Matt on the couch so he could take off his duster. "Hey, Red."

"Hi, Spike. You do realize it's like, a hundred degrees out there?" She asked, eyeing the duster. He chuckled at her.

"Yeah. Temperature changes don't bother me."

"I know that, but shouldn't you at least TRY to blend in?" she asked. She grinned when Matt scrambled back into Spike's arms. He was so good with him, she thought. In just these few short minutes she had seen them together, she could tell. Adoration flowed between them.

"Hey, I dare to be different." Willow rolled her eyes and continued with the card trick she had been showing Matt. The little boy's eyes widened when she pulled the card he had picked out of the middle of the deck.

"Wow. How'd ya do that?"

"It's magic," she whispered mysteriously. He giggled at her tone, liking the pretty redhaired lady.

"Well, pizza's on the way, no anchovies," Anne said, walking back into the living room and sitting next to Spike, drawing her legs up onto the couch.

"So, what're we watching this fine evening?"

"Oh, we're having a triple showing. Scooby Doo and the Alien Invaders, Scooby Doo's Greatest Mysteries, and Pokemon the Movie." To Spike's credit, he kept the groan from escaping.

"What is it with you lot and Scooby?" He muttered, easing his body down further until his shoulder was brushing Anne's.

"I like Scooby, Daddy." Matt looked a little hurt at Spike's question.

"Yeah? I never would have guessed," he replied, eyeing the pj's he was wearing. "Well then, let's get this cinematic adventure started, shall we?" He said, grinning. Willow stood and moved to the chair, kicking her legs over the side. Anne picked up the remote and hit play, then rested her head against Spike's shoulder. Matt squirmed until he was sprawled half on Spike's lap and half on his mother's, leaning his cheek on his father's thigh. Spike settled back, draping an arm around Anne and running a hand over his son's dark head. Sighing contentedly, he thought that unlife didn't get much better than this.

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