Chapter 13 - Road Trip

Willow watched as Buffy leafed listlessly through the racks of dresses at the small shop in the mall which specialized in formalwear.

"So Buffy, how do you like this one?" Willow held up a frothy confection of pink lace that screamed eighties prom dress. Buffy glanced over. "That’s nice Will, are you thinking of getting it?"

Willow swallowed hard. Something was seriously wrong when fashion conscious Buffy would call such a monstrosity even nice. Her initial perkiness as they’d left the dorm and made their way to the mall had dissipated somewhere along the way, and she seemed to be in almost a daze again. She wished her friend would just come clean and tell her what was going on, but she really hated to pry, and to admit that she’d snooped and read Buffy’s note from Spike. Maybe she should see if Xander could talk to Spike, discreetly, and find out what was going on at his end.

"Buffy, are you sure you’re feeling okay? You seem, well a little distracted."

Buffy flicked through five or six more dresses before finally turning her attention back to Willow. "I’m fine. Just a little tired still, probably had a bug or something."

She glanced back at the racks they had just been perusing. "You know, I’m just not seeing anything here. How about we see if Giles will loan us his car and we’ll go to L.A. for fall break, do some real shopping? I think we could use a little road trip."

Willow nodded. "That’d be cool. We’ll shop till we drop and enjoy the sights and sounds of a big city again." *And one way or another, I’m going to get you to tell me what’s bothering you.*

****

Buffy gathered her books after her last class on Tuesday and headed over to the lecture hall where Giles would be finishing up. He and Jenny had taken the long weekend she’d suggested and though she’d spoken to them only briefly when they’d gotten back on Sunday night, it sounded like all was right with them again. Giles had asked her if she would come to dinner on Tuesday, and she’d agreed. She sensed there was maybe an announcement to be made, she had heard the pride in his voice as he’d issued the invitation. That probably meant that Spike would be there as well.

She had mixed feelings about seeing him face to face again. She’d called him a few times on Sunday, trying to get up the courage to explain, but his phone had gone unanswered and he’d never returned her calls. She had made it halfway down the path to his home on Monday afternoon, but lost her nerve. After all that happened, she was reluctant to show up unannounced. She wasn’t even sure she would be welcome anymore. She remembered how cold he’d been when he’d driven her home on Saturday morning. Never in her life had someone looked at her with that much ice in their eyes.

But maybe she could corner him tonight at dinner, for just a few minutes, and try to explain. Surely he’d understand why she’d accepted Angel’s invitation. She could make him see that she wanted him and only him. She reached the building and waded through the outgoing crowd to reach her uncle and give him a welcoming hug.

"Giles, how are things? I’m glad you guys are back!"

"They are very, very well, Buffy, and that is all you’ll get from me for now, or Jenny will have my head."

"Whipped already." Buffy shook her head and giggled at him as he rolled his eyes.

"Buffy, I do want to thank you. Without your level-headed intervention, I fear that Jenny and I could have gone at cross-purposes for sometime. We both greatly appreciate what you did for us."

"Oh Giles, it was the least I could do. You guys are one of the most perfect couples I think I’ve ever seen. You just fit together you know? And it took you so long to get together and be happy, I just didn’t want it to fall apart for no reason."

"Well, thank you again, Buffy. I am glad things have worked out. Now all I have to regret is waiting so long to be with her to start with."

Buffy nodded, realizing that she didn’t want to make that mistake either. Spike was the guy for her and she was going to let him know tonight. Her thoughts darted back to Giles and one way he could repay her for her kindness.

"Giles? I don’t suppose you’re grateful enough to loan me your car so Willow and I can go to L.A. shopping over fall break?’

Giles groaned, knowing he would eventually give in and entrust his little red convertible to the two girls.

"Only if Willow drives, Buffy, only if Willow drives."

Buffy grinned as they headed toward home.

*****

Jenny and Spike were already in the kitchen when they arrived at the house. She had clearly been filling him in on the details of the last week while they waited and Spike eyed the pair suspiciously as they walked though the door. He was starting to wonder if the Summers-Giles clan was capable of honesty in their relationships. But Jenny had assured him that it had been a mistake and all was well again.

He watched her breeze through the door to hug Jenny, golden and beautiful, and he felt his heart twist. If only things had worked out as well for them this weekend as they had for Jenny and Giles. He shut down on his impulse to hug her as she wandered over to lean on the counter beside him, close enough that he could feel the warmth of her body. Did she really need to get in his personal space like that? He sidled away an inch and she followed. He gave up. Let her try to play games with him, he was done with it. Maybe he should call up Faith when he got home, see if she wanted to go out over the break before the formal, maybe they could get to know each other better.

Jenny urged them all into the dining room and they sat down to enjoy the meal together. Conversation stayed light, talk of the mountain retreat Giles and Jenny had escaped to for the weekend and current events in the news filling the meal for a time.

"William, don’t you have the KET formal coming up soon? Isn’t it usually right after fall break?" He nodded, hoping Jenny would move on. This was one topic he did not want to discuss. But she persisted. "Do you have a date yet?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, Aunt Jenny, I have a date. Her name is Faith, would you like pictures of the event?" She ignored his sarcasm and nodded.

"What about you Buffy, are you going with Angel?" Buffy nodded hesitantly, not daring to look at Spike, afraid of what his reaction might be."

"Of course she’s going with Angel. He’s the love of her bloody life, isn’t that right, pet?" She glared at him across the table, not wanting to do this here and now with two very interested parents watching. "It’s just a date, Spike, it doesn’t mean anything," she hissed back at him.

"Right, not a thing. What with the romantic dinner beforehand and the, well you know what’s planned for afterwards…." He raised his eyebrow and gave her a suggestive look and she knew he was referring to the rooms. She blushed and darted a look at Jenny and Giles who were staring at the pair with open fascination. "I’m sorry, please excuse me, I have to go to the restroom." She fled the table and raced up the stairs.

"Spike, what is going on? Is there something we need to know about? Is Angel taking advantage of Buffy?" Jenny looked concerned. Buffy was not one to back down from a fight with Spike, normally she gave as good as she got, but this time, she was acting oddly.

"Advantage? Hardly. That girl thinks she can wrap men around her little finger and make them dance whenever she whistles the right tune. Angel should probably be worried of her taking advantage of him."

He pushed back from the table and started to clear the plates, signaling an end to the discussion.

Giles and Jenny exchanges a significant glance. Clearly there was more to this than either was letting on. But they knew pushing at this point wouldn’t get them anywhere. "Spike, when you get done with those plates, can you join us again for a moment? Jenny and I have something we want to tell you and Buffy."

Spike smiled in spite of himself as he placed the dishes in the sink. He’d wondered if old Rupert had popped the question. Jenny had been playing with her empty ring finger all night, as though there was something missing from the spot.

He returned to the dining room to find the pair gone, presumably to get the ring, and a pale Buffy standing in the doorway.

He refused to look at her, just nodded down the hallway. "They have something they want to tell us, asked if we’d wait." He returned to his chair. She walked over to stand beside him and reached out tentatively to lay a hand on his shoulder. "Spike, I need…"

She broke off as he visibly flinched away. "Buffy, please don’t. I know what you’re going to say, and I don’t want to hear it, alright? I just don’t think I can take any trite apologies right now. I’m sorry for the flowers and the card, suppose I was just thinking with other parts of my anatomy than my head, if you know what I mean. Not often I have such a beautiful woman snogging me on my couch. I can only imagine what it would have been like if we’d made it to the bed, and I certainly would have liked to got you back there, hence the poncy note. You’re quite the firecracker you know? Angel should be very happy to have you, all responsive and willing."

Buffy drew back, appalled by his callused tone. Was that all that had been to him, just a random sexual encounter with no emotion? She closed her eyes. It wasn’t true, it couldn’t be true. He’d told her he loved her. She’d fooled around enough to know that, in the middle of a passionate make-out session, most guys didn’t demand you open you eyes so they could look into your very soul and you could see their love shining on you. It had been something special and unique and amazing between them, because it was them. She opened her eyes to try again, when she heard Giles and Jenny coming back down the hallway and returned to her seat. She didn’t want to spoil the evening, but sooner or later she was going to have it out with Spike.

The couple appeared from the hallway, arms wrapped around each others waist as they stood before their adopted children. Giles cleared his throat and gazed down lovingly at Jenny before looking back to Buffy and Spike.

"This weekend, as you know, Jenny and I went away together. I have been thinking for a long time about this and the events of the last week solidified my intentions."

Jenny poked him in the ribs. "Don’t be long-winded, Rupert. Get to the point." She smiled up at him and whispered, "I want to show off my ring."

He smiled back. "Very well, to make a long story short, I asked Jenny to marry me and she has agreed."

Buffy and Spike instantly surrounded them, hugs and congratulations flying as the less than surprising announcement was formally made. They admired the beautiful ring Rupert has chosen that Jenny had now returned to her left ring finger and discussed the upcoming wedding planned for the Christmas holidays. Buffy accepted the role of maid of honor and Spike agreed to be the best man. Before long, the significant glances between the newly engaged couple became more obvious and Buffy, after liberating the car keys from Giles, excused herself to return to campus, with Spike close on her heels.

As they started down the steps to the cars, the ice that had been between them thawed slightly as they joked about the upcoming wedding and the obvious eagerness of the new couple. Spike began taunting her about the horror of bridesmaid dresses and she returned his ribbing about the monkey suit he’d have to wear. He relaxed a little as they slipped back into more of a brother-sister bantering mode, feeling relieved that he could still have a conversation with her despite the tension of the last week.

That was one of the things that had been tumbling through his head all weekend long, he was losing both love and friendship with her. Maybe if he could just treat her like he used to, before he acted like the world’s biggest git and confessed his undying love to her, things could return to normal.

Spike walked her over to Giles’ car, taking the keys and unlocking the door for her.

"You sure you can drive this thing pet, I know how you and cars don’t mix." He smirked at her as he held the keys just out of reach and she rolled her eyes, jumping to try to snatch the keys from his fingertips. She really hated being short. After several attempts, Spike laughing the entire time, she managed to snag the keys. Buffy stumbled as she landed from her successful leap, staggering against Spike and trapping him between her and the car.

She realized he had reflexively caught her and she looked up, watching the moonlight play across the planes of his face as he continued to hold her. He stared down at her, an unfathomable mix of hurt and longing on his face at the close contact and she reacted on impulse. Slowly, she leaned into him further and raised her lips to his. At the first brief touch, she could feel the electricity between them and the kiss deepened as Spike groaned and responded to her questing tongue for a moment, before he suddenly stopped and pulled back.

Buffy blinked, startled by the loss of contact with his warm mouth. What had happened? Why had he stopped? He gently pushed her away and began to walk back to his car, calling back over his shoulder, "Sorry, pet, moonlight went to my head. My apologies for trodding on Angel’s turf again."

Buffy watched aghast as he yanked open the door of his car. "Spike, no wait…"

But it was too late. He pulled away in a squeal of tires that she suspected the whole neighborhood could hear, leaving her with tingling lips and a heavy heart.

****

"Xander? Xander?" Willow knocked softly on the door to her boyfriend’s room. The lab she’d had to finish up had been shorter than anticipated, so she had hurried across the campus to spend some quality time with her sweetie before break and her trip with Buffy started. She gave up knocking, realizing he must not be back yet. The internship he had with the construction company sometimes required late meetings and she supposed this was just one of those nights.

She paced for a minute. He’d probably be here soon, there was no point in going back to Stevenson. But she hated to just sit in the hall and wait for him. Suddenly, a brainstorm hit her. Angel! She hadn’t talked to him in a while and his room was just down the hall. Maybe he was in and she could hang with him for a little while, scope out what the deal was with him and Buffy. Willow left her bag sitting outside Xander’s door and walked down the hall to Angel’s room. She raised her hand to knock and suddenly froze as she heard a breathy moan from inside the room.

"Oh, Angel, yes, harder, harder!"

Willow stared at the door, wide-eyed. Was that Buffy? Having sex with Angel? When did that happen? Willow paused. That couldn’t be Buffy. She was sure Buffy had said she was having dinner with Giles and Jenny, that they were probably going to announce their engagement tonight. Feeling slightly like a Peeping Tom, or rather an Eavesdropping Tom, if such a thing existed, she pressed her ear to the door, after being sure that no one was in the hallway to see her peculiar behavior.

"Baby, that’s so good, you’re so hot," she could hear Angel say in a bedroom voice. "Say my name, Angel, say my name, I want you to say my name when you come," the woman replied, apparently adding some persuasion to the request as she heard Angel’s breathing grow more ragged and with a groan he murmured, "Gina."

Willow pulled back from the door as though it were a hot stove and clapped a hand to her mouth to muffle her exclamation. That two-timing bastard! Granted, Buffy looked like she maybe had something going on as well, but she knew her best friend, and she was fairly certain that Buffy wasn’t sleeping with Spike.

Anyone with half a brain could see those two were meant to be together anyway, she didn’t know why Buffy hadn’t dumped Angel a long time ago. Talk about no chemistry. They almost seemed disinterested in each other. She continued to stare at the door. This was just the news Buffy needed to push her away from Angel for good. She knew Buffy was incredibly sensitive about cheating because of her dad, and the news that Angel had been with Gina should put the final nail in the coffin of their relationship.

Gina, Gina, who could that be? Willow gasped as she suddenly identified the voice. That was Gina Harmon, she was in their sorority. That little slut! She knew Buffy was dating Angel. Willow suddenly started as she heard footsteps coming up the stairs at the end of the hallway and she scurried back down to Xander’s door.

"Hey Wills, get done with your lab early?"

Willow nodded and clamped a hand over his mouth as soon as he was close enough. "Be very quiet and get us in your room quickly," she whispered in his ear.

He nodded, puzzled, and unlocked his door, ushering Willow inside just as the door to Angel’s room began to open. With a squeak, Willow pulled him inside and shut the door behind them.

"Willow, what is going on? You eager to get me alone, sweetie?" He advanced on her and she laughed at his exaggerated leer as he stalked her across the room.

She stopped him with a kiss, then sat him down. "Xander, we have to talk, seriously. You’re not going to believe what I just heard."

****

Buffy managed to make it safely back to Stevenson in one piece, though she was glad Willow would be behind the wheel tomorrow. She entered the dorm and unlocked their room. As she’d suspected, Willow’s bag were already packed and ready to go. There was a note on her bed, saying she’d be at Xander’s for the night. Buffy dropped the note back on Willow’s bed and returned to sit on her own.

She stared at the phone. Should she call him? Would he listen? She picked up the phone and dialed his number, then slammed it down after the first ring. She rolled her eyes and picked it up again. She was not going to be juvenile. She dialed his number again, listened for the ringing tones and was disappointed when she heard his voice mail pick up. She hung up again. So much for calling.

Maybe kissing him been a bad idea just now. She knew there were things they needed to work out, but he looked so sad and vulnerable and she had just wanted to make things better. She beat her head against her pillow. Why was this so complicated? She’d finally conquered her inner demons, or at least quelled them enough to take the leap with Spike, and now he was being difficult. Maybe she should just stalk over there and force him to listen. Would he kick her out? Would he give her a chance? She bit her nails nervously. He’d said it with flowers, should she? Sending flowers to Spike seemed too weird. Wait, he liked music! Maybe she could burn him a CD about how she felt? Maybe not, she was 20, not 14.

Buffy pulled out a bag and began to mechanically pack. She was at her wit’s end. If he wouldn’t talk with her by phone, wouldn’t talk to her in person, she was going to have to find another way to make him listen. It was time to play True Confessions with Willow and get her input. Maybe her best friend would be able to shed new light on the situation. She finished her packing, settled on this course of action and turned out the lights to try to get some rest.

****

Willow had returned early the next morning and they loaded the car, settling in for the ride to L.A. As soon as they reached the interstate, Buffy decided it was time.

"Willow, I have to tell you something and I need your advice."

Willow nodded. She’d hoped Buffy would confide in her on this trip, giving her a better idea on how she was going to take the news about Angel’s infidelity.

"Go right ahead, you know you can tell me anything. You’ve listened to enough of my ups and downs over the years. Buffy," she glanced quickly over at her friend before turning her attention back to the highway, "I know something’s been bothering you. You’ve been acting odd for the last week or so and I was starting to get worried. So spill. You’ll feel better."

Buffy took a deep breath. "It’s about me and Spike. Willow, I don’t know exactly when it started. You know how close we’ve always been. But since I came back, our relationship has been different. It’s like there’s sparkage every time I’m in the room with him now. It was weird and I tried to ignore it at first, I mean, I felt really strange about it. Hello, best friend, almost brother. And then Angel asked me out first thing and he just kept asking until the next thing I knew everybody’s acting like we’re a couple. Spike never made a move, he just kept treating me like his kid sis, you know?"

"But Buffy, I thought he kissed you at that party when we first came back?"

"He did, Wills, but I didn’t think it meant anything. I mean, he never mentioned it again. Then we started spending all that time together, with the tutoring, and after he gave me a key I went over there most nights to watch TV and hang out with him." She ducked her head a little. "I wasn’t really going to the library."

Willow smirked. "Buffy, I figured something was going on, though it took me until a few days ago to realize you were probably at Spike’s. You’ve never spent that much time at the library in your life."

Buffy laughed. "Yeah, probably not the best cover for me. Well, we just kept getting closer and closer, but in a non-romantic way. He even let me sleep at his place a few times."

Willow stopped her. "You’ve been sleeping over there? How did I miss this? Did anything happen?"

Buffy blushed, "No, not really. It was when you and Xander needed some alone time and it turned out that Giles and Jenny had also scheduled alone time that I unfortunately walked in on. Remind me to tell you about that sometime." She shuddered. "Anyway, Spike took me in. We did sleep in the same bed, but he was very gentlemeny."

"So you slept there once. Has something happened since then?"

"Well, actually twice, before last Friday, but it was the same deal. Nothing going on but sleeping."

"Hold on a minute Buffy, what happened last Friday?"

"I’ll get to that. But I have to explain what happened before, for it to make sense."

"Alright, tell the tale."

"Okay, so everything had been pretty platonic until your birthday party. I saw him flirting with Cordelia and I just saw red, Willow. I knew I had no claim on him, but I was so angry seeing them together. I don’t think I slept hardly at all that night, thinking about the two of them. And my response was less than adult. I started kissing Angel just to see if Spike would notice."

She buried her face in her hands. "I’m such a bad person Willow. How could I do that, use Angel like that?"

Willow clucked sympathetically, knowing she was going to enjoy getting to tell Buffy what a creep Angel had been. Here she was beating herself up over a little flirting while that moron had been shtupping someone else, probably the whole time they’d been dating. "Buffy, Angel didn’t look like he minded all that much. Besides, it wasn’t that big of a deal. But there’s more to this story than that. Why did Spike send you flowers?"

Buffy felt a faint blush begin as she continued her story. "Well, I avoided Spike for a few days after your party, because I was embarrassed over what happened and still a little upset about him and Cordy. So I finally went over to his place on Wednesday for tutoring. Everything was fine, I apologized, we were good, just a little awkward. Then I hung around afterwards to watch Passions with him. And we ended up making out on his couch.

Buffy’s blush deepened and she stared out the window, suddenly very interested in the passing cars.

Willow caught the scarlet of her face and followed up, "Buffy? Are we talking a few smoochies here or did something more happen?"

Buffy grew redder. "Something more."

Willow gasped. Had she had sex with him? Maybe she’d underestimated the powers of Spike’s charms. And there was that note. "Buffy, what happened?"

Buffy looked at Willow, not sure she could verbalize what had happened between them.

"I didn’t sleep with him."

"But you did fool around?"

Buffy nodded. "Willow, it was so amazing. I’ve never felt so good in my entire life."

"Aww, Buffy, did Spike give you a happy?"

Buffy giggled, feeling a little freer now that it was out. "Did he ever! Willow, he gave me the most incredible orgasm, but you know what made it so special? It was his eyes. The whole time, he just kept staring into my eyes and I could see so much love and desire and passion in them. Everything I’ve ever wanted."

"So, did you return the favor?"

"No, that’s where things went bad. He mentioned something about me not having that much passion with Angel and I just panicked. I mean it was like all those yummy feelings were sucked away in an instant and this huge wave of guilt rushed into their place. I freaked and just jumped up and ran."

She paused, gathering her thoughts to explain this properly. "It really shook me up Will. I think he’s the one. But everything with him was so explosive that night, and I know that the pretty fireworks can leave some ugly burns. So I told him I needed some time when he called."

"So did you make a decision? That all happened, what, last Wednesday? And you went out with Angel on Friday? Hey, what about Friday? You said something happened with you and Spike then?"

"Well, you know Spike sent me those roses. That card was beautiful Willow. He told me he loved me. It was so sweet and it just made me want him more. But I felt like I needed to settle things with Angel first, so I was going to tell him at dinner last Friday. But I didn’t even remember it was an "anniversary" and once you mentioned that, it seemed harsh to break it off then. But I was at least going to tell him I couldn’t go to the formal with him, but then his buddies showed up and I didn’t want to embarrass him. I mean, he’s done nothing to deserve this. I’m the one who cheated, not him, and even though I don’t love him, I would never want to hurt him. He’s been nothing but sweet to me."

"Um-hum." Willow bided her time, knowing once she made her announcement, she’d never get the rest of the story from Buffy. "So what happened with Spike?"

Buffy’s features clouded. "That’s the problem. After Angel dropped me off, I went over to tell him that I wanted to be with him and that I just needed a little time to end this thing with Angel. But he’d seen us at the restaurant together and apparently decided to drink away the memory. He was sloshed by the time I got there. So I put him to bed and though we could talk in the morning.

Willow stopped her again. "So you stayed with him Friday night?"

"Yeah, but that’s not where things went bad. I must have been really tired and I think he was hung over, so we were both still asleep at like 10:00AM when Angel showed up. And he still has a key to Spike’s place. The deadbolt was turned, so he didn’t walk in on us, but I had to hide in the bathroom while Spike talked to him."

Willow stifled a laugh at the thought of what that situation must have looked like. "So what happened?"

"Angel told Spike I had agreed to go to the dance with him at dinner the night before, and Spike got really angry. I wish I could have explained things to him before he heard that from Angel. Willow, I think he would have understood. But he didn’t take the news well coming from Angel. And it turns out, Angel was there to try and set him up for the dance with Faith, you know, Cordy’s skanky cheerleader friend. So Spike just called her right then and there and asked her! Angel left and we both were to mad to talk, so he brought me home."

"So that’s it? You’ve haven’t tried to talk it out?"

"That’s just it. I’ve tried and tried to explain. I’ve called, I’ve left messages. I tried to talk with him last night at dinner. But he’s still very angry. So that’s where I need some advice. How do I get him to listen to me? And should I even keep this formal date with Angel? I don’t want to be with him. I know I’m in love with Spike. But I feel so guilty just dumping Angel with so little notice. It’s not his fault either. What am I going to do?"

"Well, first of all, let me say congratulations. You’ve been sort of a lone wolf for too long, Buffy. I know you wanted to wait for Mr. Right, but I think you’ve finally found him. I always thought you two would be a perfect couple together. And I know Spike will come around. He’s just hurt right now."

Willow waited for that to sink in before she dropped the bombshell. "Buffy, I have something to tell you that is probably going to make you mad, but in the long run is a good thing. I went to Xander’s last night and he wasn’t in yet. So I thought I’d drop by and say hey to Angel. Instead, I got the verbal soundtrack to a porn flick, complete with a ‘say my name when you come, baby’."

Buffy stared at Willow openmouthed. "Angel? Was in there with some other girl?"

Willow nodded. "Oh yeah. Right in the midst of the dirty deed. Buffy, it was Gina, from our sorority."

Buffy continued to stare at Willow for a long minute, them began laughing hysterically. "You mean the entire time I’ve been beating myself up about all of this and worrying about his feelings, he’s been boning other girls? That bastard. I’m such an idiot, I should’ve known with his reputation, if he wasn’t getting it from me, he was getting it from somebody."

She whipped out her cell phone. "That’s it. Screw Angel, metaphorically of course." She shivered. "I bet he really was planning to try and get me in bed after that dance, with the hotel room." Willow nodded. "Did he think I was some kind of little high school chick who’d give it up because her date bought her some pretty flowers and dinner before the prom? Willow, what was I thinking?"

"In the interest of maintaining out friendship, I’m pleading the 5th on that one. All I know is I’m glad you’ve seen the light."

"Oh, I have." Buffy continued to mutter under her breath as she dialed Angel’s number. Maybe Gina would be happy to go with him. Gina was a ‘ho and everyone knew it. Course, apparently so was Angel. Maybe they could give each other diseases. She brightened at the thought as she counted the rings. "C’mon, pick up, pick up, pick up." Instead, she heard Angel’s suave tones at the other end, commanding her to leave a message. She ended the call. She needed to vent when she dumped his sorry ass and she wanted it to be live, not recorded.

"Damn, he’s not answering."

"Call him later. Now about Spike, I think you do need to talk to him in person. Why don’t you surprise him at his place? You still have a key, right?"

"I do, but I don’t know if he’ll be mad at me just showing up, after all that’s happened."

"Buffy, I think once you explain things to him and get him to listen, he’ll be very happy you came. And you should be naked."

"What? Willow, I can’t just show up at his place and strip!"

"No, but you can already be naked before he gets there. I’ll bet he won’t kick you out then." Willow grinned at her mischievously.

"Willow, that’s nuts. What if he turns me down? That would be totally embarrassing."

"Buffy, he won’t turn you down, you know that. Once he realizes you’re serious and that you’ve kicked Angel to the curb, he’ll be all over you."

Buffy closed her eyes momentarily, savoring that thought. Well, less dramatic approaches hadn’t worked, why not try it? She was interrupted from her plans by the ringing of a cell phone.

"Oh, that’s me. Will you answer it, Buffy? It’s probably Xander. He wasn’t up yet when I left this morning and I didn’t want to wake him."

Buffy felt around in Willow’s bag until she found the ringing phone. "Hello, Willow’s phone, Buffy speaking."

"Buffy? Oh, hey how are you? I was expecting Willow."

"Hey Cordy. It’s Willow’s phone, not a bad expectation. We’re headed to L.A. to do some shopping over the break. I’m sorry I didn’t think to call you, it was a spur of the moment thing. You want to come up and join us?"

"Oh, thanks, Buffy, I really can’t right now." Cordelia paused, unable to think of a good excuse other than her guilty conscience. "I have some stuff I have to do here."

"No big. Do you want me to talk between you and Will? She’s driving right now."

"No, that’s okay. I just had something to tell her. It is kind of important though, can you ask her to call me after you guys get to the city?"

"Sure, no problem Cordelia. Have a good break."

"You too. Bye Buffy. Wait, Buffy, have you seen Spike lately?"

"I saw him last night. We had dinner with the folks. You’ll probably hear it from your mom before long, so I’ll go ahead and share. Giles and Jenny are getting married! The wedding will be at Christmas."

"Oh, that’s great Buffy. Was Spike excited?"

"He seemed to be, Cordy. I don’t know, we didn’t talk very long last night after we left them."

"Okay. I was just hoping the two of you were getting along well." She laughed nervously, "Well, have Willow call me."

"Sure thing. Talk to you later."

Buffy ended the call. "That was really weird, Willow. Cordelia wants you to call her after we get to the hotel, but then she started giving me the 3rd degree about Spike. What do you think that was all about?"

"I don’t know, I’ll call her after we get there. Now that we’ve worked out your love life, give me the dish on the wedding and Jenny and Giles. They are so cute together!"

Buffy began to fill her in, feeling better than she had in more than a week after unloading to Willow. She had never imagined that finding out her boyfriend was cheating on her would make her so happy. The two friends chatted away as they finished the drive, the phone call to Angel postponed for the time.

Chapter 14: There's A First Time for Everything

Buffy and Willow pulled into the hotel where they’d reserved a room for the next two nights and quickly dispensed with the checking in and getting settled.

Buffy flopped back on her bed. "Well, guess I don’t need to shop for something new after all. Damn Angel. I was actually kind of looking forward to getting all dressy and having a night out with everyone. And Spike’s already got a date, I can’t ask him to break it."

Willow rummaged through her bag. "I’m sorry Buffy. But look at it this way - you’re in L.A., you can still do some major shopping and there is a certain blond who you’re looking to impress. Might I suggest we look for some sexy lingerie?"

Buffy grinned. "You know, that’s not a half bad idea. Who needs the formal? I wonder what Spike likes?"

Willow laughed, "Knowing the way he was looking at you the other night at my birthday party when he thought no one was paying attention, probably you in a brown paper bag would do it for him. But I’m going to call Xander and have him sound Spike out, maybe he can get some lingerie preferences out of him as well."

Buffy giggled, imagining a scene where Xander tried to fish for that information without letting on why. "Willow, don’t make him to that!"

"Nope, he already knows about Angel and I told him my suspicions about you guys, he’s all on board with the helping."

Willow flipped out her phone and dialed a number. "Hey Xander? How’s my love muffin?"

Buffy rolled her eyes and grabbed her own phone, deciding to go into the bathroom so she could call Angel and not gag on Willow’s names for Xander. She was happy for them, and suspected she’d be the same way if this all worked out with Spike, but sometimes the sweetness was a little too much.

She pulled out her phone and dialed Angel’s number, waiting patiently while it rang. No answer again. Where was he? Had he been going away for the break? She didn’t remember if he was, but she hadn’t really been paying that much attention to him lately, so who really knew. She disconnected without leaving a message.

Maybe she should call Spike. Just to chat. She could ask him something about the wedding, that’d be a good excuse. She dialed his number quickly before she lost her nerve, then abruptly disconnected before the phone could ring. No, bad idea. She needed to have the talk with him in person. Best to wait. Her finger inched towards redial. Just a ‘hey, how are you’ couldn’t hurt. Might soften him up. She hit the button. It rang and then suddenly he picked up. Buffy felt her breath leave her lungs.

"Hello?… Hello? … Is anyone there? Listen you wanker, speak up or I’m hanging up the phone."

Buffy couldn’t think of a single thing to say, including the obvious, "Hello, Spike, it’s Buffy and I am becoming your own personal stalker." She hung up, cutting off a string of colorful threats on the other end about bleeding prank callers and sighed. She really did like his voice, even if it was unknowingly hurling British expletives at her. She really, really had it bad.

Maybe she should try Angel again. She needed to get that over with. Just as she was about to redial his number, she heard Willow knock at the door.

"Um, Buffy, I really need to talk with you when you have a minute."

Buffy opened the door immediately. "I just wanted you to have some privacy for your call with Xander. What’s up?"

"I think you need to sit down." She gestured to the bed and Buffy sat as directed, puzzled by Willow’s expression.

"Willow, what’s wrong? Did something happen to Xander?"

"No, Xander’s fine and he and Spike are going to play pool tonight at the Bronze. Xander has been charged with finding out about how Spike feels about you, Faith, and lingerie. . . all very delicately of course. I’d love to be a fly on the wall there tonight." Willow grinned in spite of herself. "Actually, I called Cordelia back. Buffy, she told me some stuff, and while I think she’s holding something back, I don’t see any reason not to believe her."

"What did she say?"

"Cordy says that not only has Angel been cheating on you, he was mainly interested in getting with you because he knows about your trust fund. Apparently he had this deranged plan that you guys would get together this year and you’d be so besotted with him after he deflowered you that you’d fall madly in love and agree to marry him. He basically thought you’d make him a nice little sugar mama, Buffy."

Buffy thought if it was possible for steam to rise out her ears, it would be occurring. "Willow, are you serious? He didn’t even really like me? Just wanted money? You know, I guess he really is a man-whore."

She jumped off the bed and began pacing the room. "I can’t believe this. I mean, I had a crush on him for years. Was I completely round the bend? Has he always been this way, Willow? Why didn’t I see this before? Why didn’t you slap some sense into me? I feel like such an idiot."

Willow shrugged. "Buffy, I didn’t know that was why he wanted to date you. I mean, if you didn’t have a dime, I’d still expect Angel to have wanted you. You’re a great person and he’s the idiot. I think you should just be really glad that you do have a wonderful guy who could care less about Buffy Summers, poor little rich girl, and loves Buffy Summers, the girl next door. I’d be willing to bet money that your hair is the only gold Spike sees when he looks at you, Goldilocks."

Buffy smiled at Willow’s use of her nickname. "You really think so?" Willow nodded. Buffy began to pace again. "Willow, how did Cordelia know all of this?"

Willow sighed. She knew Cordy was trying to do the right thing now, and that counted for something, but she suspected she’d severely ruined any chance of friendship with Buffy, because Willow was pretty certain Cordelia had the inside track because she’d been screwing Angel as well. She had to be pretty intimately involved for him to have told her his real reasons for pursuing Buffy.

"Buffy, she wouldn’t really say. She ran into Faith when she went to work out this morning and heard that Spike had asked her to the formal. Cordy apparently talked to Spike last week and had encouraged him to try to start a relationship with you. When she found out that he wasn’t, she said she had to stop things before it was too late, so she called me so I could warn you about Angel."

"Willow, that didn’t really answer the question."

"I know. She really wouldn’t say. I think it’s best if you just leave it Buffy. You probably already have an idea and I think we best just let it alone for now."

Buffy nodded, finally understanding what Willow was saying. Cordy must have been with Angel at some point too. She couldn’t help but feel betrayed. She and Cordy had never been as close as she’d been with Willow, but still, she couldn’t help but wonder why she would do something like that.

"Buffy, I don’t think you should call off your date with Angel just yet."

"Huh? Willow, after that? There is no way I ever want to be around him again, let alone spend an evening playing his fawning girlfriend."

"I think you’re missing the point here. Just dumping Angel isn’t enough. Clearly he’ll just pick up with Gina or some other little bimbette and go right along. What Angel needs is a huge dose of humiliation. You know he loves being the center of attention? Well, what if we turn that around on him and make him the object of derision for the entire fraternity?"

Buffy’s eyes sparkled at the thought of a humiliated Angel. "I’m loving it, Willow. But how? What could we do to embarrass Angel like that?"

Willow nodded. "Tell you what. You just leave it to me. I’m going to make some calls, put Cordy to work doing some penance and I’ll come up with something. You just play along with Angel for now, be all sugary sweet, make him think his little plan is working. Come next Friday night, he’ll regret he ever tried to mess with you or your friends."

Buffy agreed. "Alright Willow, plan away. But what about Spike? I don’t want him to think I’m still with Angel. I really want to explain things to him.’

"Oh, I’d say go ahead and tell Spike. You’ll just have to explain the situation to him. Spike will probably be all for it, once he hears what Angel’s done. Though you’ll probably have to restrain him from just kicking his ass right away instead."

Buffy laughed, "He probably will be pretty mad. He always did want to defend my honor." She swooned back on to the bed. "Oh Willow, I’m so in love." She suddenly sat back up. "Why are we still here? We have dresses to buy and small pieces of plastic to make it possible. Come, Willow, to the stores."

The two friends hastily left to begin their expedition.

***************************

The following Wednesday….

***************************

Buffy looked furtively around as she and Willow mounted the stairs to Spike’s apartment, armed with several bags each.

"Buffy, stop looking like you’re breaking and entering!"

"Well, Willow, I feel like we are."

"Don’t be ridiculous. You have a key. We aren’t jimmying the lock or anything. And we’re carrying stuff in, not out."

"I know Will," Buffy muttered as she inserted the key in the lock. "But I’m still nervous that something will go wrong, or he’ll show up early."

"Buffy, we watched him go to class. He won’t be back for at least an hour, not before 5:00 tops, probably later."

"I know, but let’s hurry. I think you don’t need to be here when he finally comes home, okay?"

"Agreed. Like I want to watch you two go at it."

Buffy blushed. "Willow, he may not even want to, I mean, this is a little sudden. I haven’t even talked to him since last Tuesday."

Willow rolled her eyes and patted her on the head. "Buffy, as you will very soon learn, they always want to."

"Fine. Just help me get everything ready."

As they hurried around the apartment, Buffy hoped she had done the right thing. She had been tempted to rush over to Spike’s as soon as they returned from L.A., but she’d learned from Xander that Spike was taking Faith out to dinner that night, to try and explain that their little setup was just a casual date and to thank her for going with him.

She’d been freaked at first, sure that he had given up and was moving on from her. But Xander had assured her that wasn’t the case; that Spike had seemed more burdened about the prospect of having to take Faith out than anything else. She’d later gotten the skinny about the date from Cordy, who’d offered her a cryptic apology that Buffy had accepted with as much grace as she could muster. Faith had confided to Cordy the next morning at the gym that Spike had been a perfect gentleman, explaining to her that he was in love with someone else who he couldn’t be with and that he hadn’t wanted to lead her on in anyway.

Apparently Faith had been very impressed with his honesty and more than a little annoyed at Angel for setting them up in what was a somewhat awkward situation, so Cordy had recruited her to be a part of their little scheme as well.

Willow had convinced her that she needed to create a mood and soften Spike up a little, so he’d listen to her big speech. But, in order to do that, she’d been forced to wait until Wednesday night, when she knew Spike would be in class and she could arrive ahead of him to get everything set up. But the wait had been killing her.

30 minutes later, the two stood back and surveyed their handiwork. The mess that was occasionally Spike’s apartment had been tided and in its place, candles now covered most available surfaces.

"You think we went overboard on the candles?" Buffy looked around.

"No, it’ll be romantic when you get them all lit. The bed looks good."

They had replaced Spike’s usual knit sheets with black satin ones that matched the texture of his comforter.

"Willow, where did you put the condoms?"

"They’re in the nightstand."

"Okay." Buffy blew out a breath. "Bed done, check, candles to set the mood, check. Oh, did you put the Chinese in the fridge? Spike never has much food and I thought we might get hungry, after."

Willow laughed. "Yup, all set. I guess that’s it then, now off with your clothes, missy."

"Willow, don’t you think some of that lingerie we got would be better for the occasion?"

"Nope. I think Spike’s gonna take one look at you naked in his bed and totally forget he was ever mad. Besides," Willow winked, "lingerie will just get in the way."

Buffy sighed. "I know I’m ready, I know I want this, but I’m still nervous. Any last minute tips for the quaking virgin?"

"Just do what feel right to you Buffy. It’s not like there’s a manual for the perfect first time. You and Spike have a lot of chemistry and from what you said happened the other night, I doubt you’ll have any problems. Don’t be nervous and be sure you let him know how you’re feeling, okay?"

She nodded and ushered Willow to the door, locking it behind her as she departed.

She looked at the clock in the kitchen. Spike’s class was just about to let out. She raced for the bathroom and pulled out her makeup bag, fixing her lipstick and mascara. She shrugged out of her clothes, folded them and tucked them in the overnight bag she’d packed. She paused for a minute staring at her reflection in the mirror. She thought she looked okay. She still had some remnants of the late summer tan she’d picked up after the return to Sunnydale, so she wasn’t too pale.

She reached to cup her breasts, pursing her lips as she turned to the side for a different angle. She was a little on the smallish side she thought. Would he mind? Of course, he didn’t seem to a few weeks ago. She closed her eyes as she brushed her fingers gently across her nipples, remembering the exquisite sensations he’d pulled from her. She’d been having these incredibly erotic dreams about him ever since that night, reliving the way he’d felt beneath her, the touch of his hands, the look in his eyes, the way he’d made her body sing. She opened her eyes and slid her hands away. She was ready for this.

She grabbed the lighter and quickly made her way around the room as she lit the numerous candles and cut off the lights. She tilted the screen so the bed was shielded from view, then settled under the sheets, modestly tucking them under her arms as she rested against the headboard, mentally rehearsing what she needed to tell him.

She started as she heard his key in the door lock and she found her hands fluttering, fluffing her hair, smoothing the sheet. She could hear the door opening from the other side of the screen and his soft "Bloody hell," as he took in the candles now lighting his apartment.

"Spike," she called softly.

"Buffy, that you? Come out here."

"I can’t Spike, come back here."

She could hear him approach, an angry tread as he came closer. This had been a bad idea. Why had she let Willow talk her into this?

"Buf…" he trailed off as he rounded the screen and took in a sight he’d previously only imagined. The deepening twilight outside let very little light into the room and she was illuminated only by the candles placed on the nightstand, the soft glow highlighting her features. He noted her bare shoulders and the carefully tucked sheet that just barely covered her breasts and realized with a start that she was probably not wearing anything. Spike was thoroughly confused as to why she was here, but his libido had no such questions. He could feel himself growing harder as he stared at the angel in his bed.

He cleared his throat and tried again, his anger softening. "Buffy, what are you doing here? … In my bed? … Wearing what appears to be only a sheet? Luv, I told you, I don’t want to play games with you." His voice broke at the end, his mind refusing to see the good in this scenario.

"Spike, please listen to me." She stopped and steadied herself, trying to find the words that would reach him. "I came here because I really need to talk with you, and you won’t given me a chance. I thought maybe you’d be more likely to listen to me this way."

He walked towards the bed, kneeling at the end, just out of her reach. "Alright, Buffy. I’ll hear you out. But promise me something first?"

She nodded.

"If I ask you to leave when this is over, will you give me the key and just walk away and drop this, leave me in peace?"

She struggled to retain her composure. What if she said things wrong or couldn’t make him understand? She took a deep breath and nodded.

"Very well, luv. Carry on."

She looked him squarely in the eyes as she began to speak, her words jumbling as she tried to get everything out. "Spike, I came here because I needed to explain to you that what you saw with Angel was a mistake. I don’t love him and I never have. I was trying to find a way to break things off with him that night you saw us and it just didn’t work out."

He arched an eyebrow, his voice still cool. "It didn’t work out so you decided to just go to the bloody formal with him?"

She raced on, knowing she needed to be more persuasive, to get past Angel, which after all was the point here. To get him to understand it was about Spike and Buffy, not Angel and Buffy.

"Spike, I never actually agreed to, he just assumed and started talking about in front of Penn and a bunch of your fraternity brothers. I couldn’t find a way to politely tell him that I couldn’t go with him. Why do you think I came over here that night? Spike, I was trying to tell you that I wanted to be with you, that I just needed a little more time to end things with Angel. But you weren’t exactly sober and I thought I could tell you in the morning and then…"

Her words trailed off as she was interrupted by him. "Buffy, what did you just say?"

"You weren’t sober so I couldn’t tell you…"

"Tell me what again? That part."

She smiled. "How much I love you and want to be with you, nobody but you."

He stared at her as the words began to sink into his consciousness, still not fully registering.

"Say it again for me, please pet."

"I love you and want to be with you, William."

Suddenly he was on the bed beside her, enclosing her in a tight embrace. "You mean that Buffy? Really?"

She gave him a shy kiss as she returned the hug. "Absolutely. I’m sorry for all the fuss, I just wanted to make sure how I felt." She squeezed him harder. "And now I’m sure."

He pulled back and gazed at her with adoring eyes before dropping to her lips for a longer kiss.

"Buffy, I love you too. I’d do anything in the world to make you happy."

She nuzzled against him, before whispering in his ear, "Well, there was this one thing I was hoping you might be inspired to do?"

He looked down at her, then back to her face.

"Are you sure Buffy? You know we don’t have to rush into this. You don’t have to do this to prove anything to me."

"Spike." She paused and gazed directly into his suede blue eyes. "We aren’t rushing. I haven’t before now because I wanted the first time to be special, with someone I really cared about, someone I loved. I’ve found that someone and I don’t want to wait any longer. Unless you do?"

Spike smiled and leaned in to graze her lips tenderly, the lightest brush against her mouth before whispering in her ear, "Buffy, luv, I’ve been dreaming about making love to you for longer than I care to admit. I just don’t want you to feel pressured, because I can wait."

She pulled him close again and kissed him, her tongue sliding against his lips as she teased him into opening for her. The kiss escalated until both broke away panting for breath. "Does that answer your question?"

Spike slipped away from her and stood up. "Oh yeah..."

"So where you going?"

"Well, if I’m not mistaken about what’s under that sheet, one of us is a little overdressed here. I thought we’d level the playing field." He pulled his shirt over his head and she felt her mouth grow dry as she looked as his lean, chiseled chest. He noticed her appreciative gaze and smirked a little as he reached for his belt, then paused.

Buffy frowned as he failed to continue the impromptu striptease. "Spike? Is something wrong?"

"No, was just wondering if you might reciprocate?"

Buffy realized what he wanted. "Oh, you’d like a peek?"

She returned the smirk that played across his face and slowly let the sheet drop and pool around her waist. She felt a little thrill of satisfaction run though her as she watched him ogle her breasts. She resisted the urge to cover herself under his intense gaze and instead leaned back, thrusting her breasts higher and watching him from under her lashes.

"The hell with this." Spike hastily unbuckled his belt and lost his pants and boots quickly, returning to the bed and Buffy. Her eyes widened as she got her first good luck at Spike in the buff. He reached her and slowly drew the sheet away that covered the rest of her body, drinking in the beauty of her form as he followed the revealing path of the satin with his eyes. He knew that there were probably women more beautiful than Buffy somewhere, but in his eyes, he’d never seen such a goddess. Suddenly, the urgency that had gripped him faded and he knew he wanted to make this last, make things special for her by showing her just how gorgeous she was.

He slowly drew her down and lay beside her, staring into her eyes as he stroked the side of her face. She felt as though she was drowning in his gaze as he lay stretched beside her, propped on one elbow, seemingly content to simply drink in her features and maintain the small rhythmic contact which lulled and excited her at the same time. She felt almost hypnotized by the slide of his fingers as they caressed her cheek and the butterflies that had danced through her earlier began to slowly fly away.

"Do you have any idea of how exquisite you are, kitten?" Spike asked as he continued his caress, slowly trailing his fingers down her neck. She found herself arching into his touch like the feline he had called her, seeking to extend the light petting. He moved in closer and she felt her heart began to race as he sprinkled kisses across her face and down her neck.

"Goldilocks, you are so very desirable." He ran his hand through her hair, bringing the long flowing strands to his face and rubbing its softness against his cheek. As he gradually let the ends drift through his fingers, he murmured, "You have the most amazing hair, it shimmers in the light like a thousand strands of gold."

He drew a few strands that had fallen around her face through his fingers again and gently tucked them behind her ear, then turned her face so she was staring straight into his eyes.

"A man could get lost forever in the green pools of your eyes. They shift, you know. Sometimes they’re green, sometimes almost brown, sometimes this amazing mix of flecks that look like a forest with sunlight filtering through it on a summer day."

Slowly he drew his thumb down her cheekbone and across her full lower lip.

"You have the softest skin. It feels like satin. And you have the sweetest little mouth, just begging to be kissed."

Spike slowly dropped to her lips and the kiss deepened between them as she tried to convey to him the emotions she was feeling but couldn’t express in the same way he had. As they pulled away, Spike framed her face in his hands.

"But you know why I love you, Buffy? It’s because of how special you are inside. You aren’t just a pretty package. You aren’t some vapid airhead. You care about people, about those in your life and you try to make things better for them. And that makes you far more desirable than the most beautiful supermodel, because there’s something underneath the glitter and shimmer of your beauty, there’s substance. And I would love to spend the rest of my life getting to know the woman you’ve become."

She stared at him, entranced by his words, suddenly feeling more desirable than she’d ever felt in her entire life. Then her eyes slowly drifted shut as he began to work his way down her body, abandoning words for action.

Buffy gasped as she felt Spike nuzzle the curve of her neck, nibbling the sensitive spot where her shoulder began. His teeth grazed her skin lightly and she shuddered at the contact as he continued his slow progression downward to her breasts. He slowly enclosed one rosy nipple between his lips and savored the feel of it hardening into a tight bud in his mouth. Buffy clutched his head to her as she moaned softly at the contact, feeling the slow pulls and light sucking begin to set up a circuit of energy that increased the throbbing need between her legs with every tug of his mouth.

Soon he had moved to the other breast, lightly teasing the abandoned bud with his fingers. Buffy was awash in the sensations pouring through her - the feel of his tongue as he teased her further, the erotic sight of him at her breast, the way his fingers kneaded her, the hardness she could feel pressed against her thigh as he lay half across her. She was sure she was about to experience sensory overload and he seemed to be only getting started.

He softly released her breast and looked up to find her watching him, her pupils dark and dilated with the desire he could feel radiating between them. He felt like he was lost in the passion that was Buffy - the taste, the smell, the small breathy moans he wasn’t sure she was even conscious of making. He reached for her mouth again and she responded with enthusiasm, rubbing her hardened nipples against his chest as she traced the muscles in his arms while their mouths mated. She opened her eyes to find his open too, and the intimacy of watching him as they kissed shook her.

Slowly he broke away and began to slide down her body, relishing the feel of her skin and the shivers that reverberated between them from the contact. She fought the butterflies in her stomach that seemed to return as he began to place a series of soft open-mouthed kisses, interspersed with small nips, along her upper thighs. She slowly relaxed as he parted her legs and rested his head against her thigh, stroking her belly down almost to her mound, but never quite touching her sex.

He stared at the beauty of her laid out before him, glistening with her excitement, and slowly began to trace her lower lips with one finger only, giving her time to become accustomed to the light sensation before he explored her further. Buffy watched entranced as he spread her legs wider and settled between them, her shyness dissipating as her anticipation grew. Their gazes locked as he slowly began to lick her with broad strokes from bottom to top and she could feel an orgasm building as he hit her clit on each upstroke.

Her body began to flush and tingle and she stiffened as he slowly inserted his tongue inside her, teasing her slightly as she gasped at this new sensation. He continued to tantalize her, bringing her to the edge over and over as he alternated with long strokes and small licks until she was writhing beneath him. Spike inserted one finger inside her, carefully watching her face and the flush of her body as he stroked softly, curving against her inner wall until he found the spot that soon had her quivering against him. He was entranced by the sight of her expressions, the way she bit her lip, how her eyes fluttered open and shut as she arched into him. She buried her hands in his hair, needing to touch him somehow, to make him understand what he was doing to her.

"Spike, Spike, please, please, please…" She knew she was babbling incoherently, but she was so on edge she couldn’t seem to express lucid thoughts.

Spike raised his head and grinned as she locked onto his eyes again. "What do you want, kitten? Tell me what you need. Is it this?"

He inserted a second finger and she thrust against him as he found her clit again and began to tap his tongue against her rapidly until she exploded around him and screamed his name. He slowly pulled back, nuzzling her softly as she began to come down from the incredible high he just pulled from her body. She reached for him and he cradled her in his arms as he lay between her legs and listened to the rapid beating of her heart, knowing that his was pounding as well. He waited, not sure if she was ready to make the next move or not.

Buffy held tightly to his body as she slowly ran her hands over his back, feeling the muscles jump under her fingers. She felt so incredibly good, almost languid, as she shivered from the aftershocks that still rolled through her. But she wanted more, she needed him inside, needed to know what he would feel like joined with her completely. She knew he was giving her a chance to back away if she wanted, to be sure. So she’d just have to show him she was ready. She pulled his face to hers for a deep kiss and urged him closer between her parted legs until she felt the head of his cock nudge her opening. Slowly she curled her legs against his waist and urged him to her as Spike drew back from the kiss.

"Are you ready, luv? We can still stop. I just want to make this perfect for you."

She nodded and thrust her hips against him harder. "I’m sure. Please, Spike, please, now."

He started to enter her and froze, stilling her hips with his hands. "Buffy, wait, luv. I almost forgot." He started to pull away from her and roll towards the nightstand, where he hoped the condoms that had been resting there for a while were still good, when she stopped him.

"Spike, you’ve been tested right?" He stopped and looked down at her.

"For STDs?" She nodded. "Yeah, we get tested when we have our physicals before the season starts. I’m clean, luv, I promise. I haven’t been with anyone since my last physical, actually, not for a long while before that."

She pulled him back towards. "Then it’s okay. I’m on the pill, we don’t need a condom."

"You’re sure sweetheart?" She nodded again, sliding her legs around his waist again and urging him back towards her. She felt him slide his length against her, teasing her still sensitive flesh slightly and she growled with impatience. She didn’t want to play anymore. He smirked slightly at her and kissed the tip of her nose as he slowly guided the tip inside her, allowing her to become accustomed to him before he slowly edged further in.

Spike buried his face against her neck and gritted his teeth as he fought to keep himself under control. It had been a long time for him and the sights and sounds and feel of her coming against his mouth alone had almost been enough to send him over the edge. That had been nothing compared to the tightness of her passage that gripped him like a perfectly fitted glove. He slowly rocked until he was firmly seated within her and pulled back, staring into her face.

"Okay, love? Any pain?"

She stared at him with passion-glazed eyes. "No, just a little at first, but I’m okay now." She wanted to say more, wanted to tell him how incredible it felt just to be this connected to him, as close as they could be, their bodies merged together. She was a little sore, but that didn’t seem to register as much as the overwhelming desire that bubbled up within her for this beautiful man who loved her.

He pulled her to him for another kiss, giving her time to adjust as he slowly reached between their joined bodies to stroke her softly. He fought to keep his hips from thrusting into her depths as she began to gasp into his mouth and he could feel her fluttering around him as her second orgasm washed over her and she began to rock against him. He looked into her eyes and she nodded as he began to slowly withdraw and thrust against her, deliberately trying to keep the pace slow and deep. Buffy clutched his shoulders and tightened her legs around his waist, locking her heels against the small of his back as she sought to draw him in closer.

Their bodies moved together and he could feel his orgasm approaching rapidly as the friction with her body drove him to the edge. He shifted so his pelvis provided more stimulation for her and Buffy arched wildly against him as his thrusts grew faster. Her head thrashed on the pillow as she felt the warmth in her belly explode and the fire that raced between them electrify her body. With a shout, Spike followed and collapsed against her as she drew his head down to her breast and held him tightly against her in the aftermath of their lovemaking, wanting to prolong the closeness.

He curled his arms around her and simply lay, relishing the sparks that continued to hum between their bodies as they remained intertwined. Buffy ran her fingers through his hair, watching the soft curls that sprang up under her ministrations. She wasn’t sure she was capable of coherent thoughts at the moment, just jumbled bits and pieces that tumbled through her mind, like how soft his hair was, that she thought her legs might not work any longer and how she didn’t think she would die of a heart attack at 20, but she couldn’t be sure with the way hers was currently racing. She bent to kiss his forehead and he slowly turned his face up to hers.

"You alright luv?" She nodded and wondered if she could translate how she felt into words to make him understand how good he had made this for her.

"Spike?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

She smiled softly. She liked that pet name. "Thank you. I would say I wonder now why I waited for something so amazing, but I know why. This wouldn’t have been as incredible if it hadn’t been you."

"The pleasure was all mine love, all mine."

He cuddled her close again and they drifted off to sleep, finally content in knowing they’d found what they’d been looking for.

****************************

Buffy awoke and rolled to look at the bedside clock. 11:00PM. She realized that she was alone in the bed and she sat up with a start. Where was Spike? Suddenly she became aware of noises on the other side of the screen and she crept out of the bed, twining the sheet around her as she made her way towards the kitchen.

Spike was bent over, peering into the contents of the refrigerator and rummaging around as he hummed some tune she didn’t recognize. Buffy silently commented to herself on the cuteness of his bare backside and made a mental note to explore that when she got him back to the bed.

"Spike? What ya doing, honey?"

He turned and peered at her over the fridge door. "Hey, sweetheart. I woke up and realized all I had for supper tonight was you." He waggled his eyebrows at her and she found herself blushing, despite herself. "Stomach was a bit rumbly, as was yours, you were making all kind of cute little growling sounds. So I went to find us some food options and encountered this lovely Chinese takeout that some magic food fairy left in my refrigerator."

She laughed as he pulled the other cartons out and shut the door, drinking in the sight of him. Her only regret so far, not that she had any complaints, was that she hadn’t really had a chance to explore him yet, but she expected to remedy that soon enough. She let the sheet drop entirely and moved into the kitchen, pinning him against the counter as she greeted him with a kiss and rubbed against his body. He growled as she shimmied against him and began to stroke his hardening member that was rapidly growing in length. "Sweetheart, wait, I had a plan...."

Buffy continued her caress with a firmer stroke, circling his stiff tip with her fingers. "So do I...." His head fell back and he was pretty sure the whimpering noise must have come from him as she brought her other hand into play, softy teasing the skin right below his family jewels. She latched on to his neck and began to suck and lick the veins as he thrust into her fondling hands. Spike gathered his last remaining ounce of sanity as she drove him out of his mind and managed to disengage her fingers.

"Buffy, luv, pet, wait just a minute."

She cocked her eyebrow in imitation of his look and leaned in again as he swatted away her questing hands and swept her up in his arms. "Give me five minutes and you can play all you want, alright?"

She pouted at him, that lower lip he could never resist. "All I want?"

"Trust me sweetheart, I’m your sodding love slave for eternity if you keep that up." He strode towards the bathroom, nudging the door open with his foot as he entered. She was amazed to see that some of the candles she and Willow had earlier set up around the apartment were now burning brightly on the edge of the large tub, which had been filled with steaming water. He carried her over and deposited her on the edge. "Here you go, luv. I thought you might be a little sore when you woke up, so I drew this bath and was getting us a snack before I woke you."

She slid into the water, which felt heavenly and sniffed the bubble bath he had added before looking back to find him gazing at the vision of her swathed in mounds of snowy bubbles.

"You are joining me, right?"

"Oh absolutely, just getting the food and I’ll be right back. Then you can explore me to your heart’s content." He started to turn away, then knelt beside the tub again. "Luv, would you do me a favor?" As she nodded, he held out an arm. "Pinch me."

"You want me to pinch you? What on earth for?"

"Because I’ve had at least three or four of my favorite fantasies come true tonight and this has to be a dream."

She pulled him closer and kissed him instead, then reached around to pinch his derriere. As he yelped and almost fell into the tub from the unexpected jolt, she patted him softly. "See, it’s real. Now hurry back with the food, I’m hungry!"

She giggled as he exited the bathroom and sank down into the water beneath the bubbles. She had felt a little achy from earlier and the water soothed her muscles as she picked up a washcloth from the edge of the tub and began to rub soap into it. She was a little puzzled by Spike’s choice of body wash, it was her favorite scent, but didn’t really seem like his thing.

"Goldilocks, that’s my job," Spike told her as he sank in the tub behind her. He placed the cartons he’d been carrying on the wide ledge of the tub and slowly drew the washcloth from her hands.

"Spike, I love this bubble bath and body wash. How did you know?"

He smiled shyly as he continued to lather the cloth and then began to run in it small circles across her shoulders and back.

"Lean forward sweetheart. You remember how much you liked the tub when you first saw the apartment?" She nodded. "Well, I hoped you’d take me up on the offer to use it, so I went to the drugstore and sniffed every bleeding bubble bath they sold until I found the one that smelled like you."

Buffy laughed at the thought of Spike in the bath aisle, furtively sniffing to find her favorite. "You mean you remembered how I smelled?"

He pulled her back against him as he ran the washcloth over her front, seemingly very concerned with the cleanliness of her breasts. "Of course, pet." He nuzzled her hair momentarily. "I’m like a junkie. I used to come in here and take a whiff of the stuff every now and then because it smelled like you."

She felt her breathing increase at the continued caresses and his words. "You know, I used to sniff your shirts when I’d snag your laundry cause I liked the way they smelled like you."

He hugged her tighter. "Well, now we both have the real thing. Buffy," his voice trembled a little and he paused to steady it, "I don’t now how to tell you how happy you’ve made me tonight. I know I acted like a right wanker the last few weeks, refusing to talk with you and I’m sorry for some of those things I said. I just was so excited at that thought that you maybe felt something for me too, that when I saw you with Angel that night, I overreacted. I’m sorry I didn’t give you a chance to explain."

Buffy swiveled in his arms until she was facing him. "Spike, don’t apologize. It’s okay now. I should have said something to you earlier, so you’d understand about me going to dinner with Angel. I was just so scared by what happened between us that I needed time to works things out."

He looked into her hazel eyes and didn’t see fear or hesitation reflected there, but he had to ask. "You aren’t afraid now?"

"No, well mostly no. Spike, you aren’t my father. I trust you. What happened between my parents was between them and what happens between us is entirely up to us. Sometimes it still scares me a little, because of how incredibly important you are to me. I could make you my entire world, like Mom did with Dad, very easily. But I’m willing to take the chance that what we have can be good and healthy and make us both better for it."

She leaned in and kissed him softly. "We have a good foundation, Spike. We’ve been friends for a very long time, and I know who you are. I watched you grow up from a teenager who wasn’t ashamed to be kind to a sad little girl who couldn’t stop crying, to a man who still goes out of his way to help others out. You’re what I’ve been looking for and I’m just sorry it took me so long to wake up to that fact."

She hugged him quickly and then revolved in his arms before he could see the tears of emotion in her eyes. "Now, what was that about being my love-slave? I’m getting pretty hungry up here." She waved her arm airily in the direction of the take-out. "Feed me, honey?"

He laughed, and the mood lightened as he picked up a carton and they shared the meal between them, feeding each other. By the time they were done, the water had grown cold and Spike helped Buffy out of the tub as they teased each other as they toweled off.

She stifled a yawn. "Spike, what time is it?"

He slid to the door of the bathroom to see the clock in the kitchen. "Bugger, it’s 1:30. I have swim practice at 5:00AM. Luv, what time do you have class tomorrow?"

She stretched and wrapped the towel around her to ward off the chill in the air. "Ummm, 11:00. Thursday’s my late day."

His face lit up. "Mine too. How about I come back here after practice and make you breakfast before you have to go home and get ready for class?"

Buffy laughed, "I came prepared Spike, I brought everything I need to get ready for tomorrow, it’s in that bag over there."

"Great, then we’ll have breakfast and I’ll walk you to class?" She nodded and followed him back to the bed. She briefly thought about pulling on a t-shirt, but decided against it as she curled against the warmth of Spike’s skin and felt him tighten his arms around her. Their arms and legs wrapped around one another and they slowly drifted off.

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