Chapter 9 Stop Wasting your Time



Buffy walked through the town streets, interested to see what was the same as the other Sunnydale and what was different. The mall was in the same place, but the coffee shop was the Double Meat Palace and vice versa which was odd.

The big shoe store was a garden centre and there seemed to be a lot more people riding bicycles instead of driving around in cars.

But the Bronze was in exactly the same place. She pushed open the big doors and the smell - stale beer, cigarette smoke and rancid sweat from teenage dancers, assaulted her nose.

She and Spike had decided that she should come here during the day time to catch the staff before they became busy. Spike had kissed her and gone down into their basement, heading off through a tunnel that linked up to the maze of underground passages he knew so well, both here and in their other world.

As he said, it wasn’t that he didn’t trust OzT to find out from the local demon community if XanT had been in a fight, but there were some vamps who kept themselves hidden out of sight and he knew exactly where to find them.

Inside the Bronze, a bored looking boy was sweeping the floor and behind the bar - yes - Buffy’s stomach lurched - it was AnyaT, polishing the glasses.

“Hi,” Buffy said cheerfully. “You don’t know me - my name’s Buffy Summers.”

“Hi! Can I help you?”

Buffy hesitated. Was this Anya a vengeance demon, too? It wasn’t the sort of question you could ask straight out. Had XanT annoyed her in some way? Knowing what pain Anya had inflicted on victims in the other world, perhaps she’d given XanT some dreadful punishment.

“I hope so. I’m looking for a friend of mine. He works in here in the evenings. You must know him. XanT - I mean Xander Harris.”

AnyaT’s eyes lit up. ‘Xander - oh yes, of course I know him. ’

“I haven’t seen you here before, have I?” Buffy said cautiously.

“No.” AnyaT frowned. “I came to Sunnydale when I married my boyfriend, - ” she stopped and to Buffy’s horror, tears glinted in her eyes.

“Hey - are you okay?”

AnyaT dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. “Sorry. Yes, I’m fine!”

Buffy patted the girl’s hand. This Anya was thinner, she looked desperately tired, her hair a mousey colour, badly cut, her skin was blotchy, as if she spent too long indoors and ate too many burgers and chocolate shakes. She was wearing faded jeans and a dreadful beige top with a purple zig zag pattern worked into the long sleeves.

AnyaT sniffed hard. “Thanks. The cigarette smoke makes my eyes ache. I’d really like to get a job in a nice dress shop, but we need the money and the Bronze pays quite well. But it’s not the sort of place I’d usually frequent, I can assure you.”

“No, no of course not. But there’s nothing wrong with the Bronze. We come here a lot.”

AnyaT pursed her lips and looked disapproving. “Well, as soon as I find myself another job, I’m leaving. But my husband needs our money. He’s writing a book, you see, so he can’t take a regular job. He’s very clever. I don’t know what he sees in me.”

“Have you been married long?” Buffy glanced at the girl’s red, rough hands where the shiny gold ring sat and thought it was a great shame the guy wasn’t a vampire so she could stake him!

“No - not long. I met him in New York, but he comes from Sunnydale so we’ve come back here to live. He’s had a really hard life and he’s trying to put it all into his book.

“Anyway, you’re not here to listen to my life story, are you? You said you’re looking for Xander. Isn’t he at home? No, wait, his girl friend came in searching for him, didn’t she?”

“Yes, Tara. Someone told her he left here at the usual time. Was that you?”

“No.” AnyaT folded the drying cloth neatly and lined up the little dishes of peanuts in a nice straight line. “There’s another girl who sometimes does shifts when we’re very busy. She was working with Xander that evening.”

Buffy sighed. She didn’t seem to be getting very far. When OzT had told her there was a girl at the Bronze called Anya, she’d been absolutely certain that the trail would lead straight to XanT. Even though in this universe he was in love with TaraT, she’d thought that he must have made some connection to AnyaT.

But obviously she was wrong. She couldn’t see XanT being attracted to this dowdy, timid girl at all. TaraT was shy, but you still felt she could be as brave as a lion if something threatened the man she loved. This Anya seemed far more uncertain, worried.

It was all so confusing, trying to keep the different world’s relationships straight.

“Okay, thanks for your help. Can you jot down the girl’s name and address for me?” Buffy asked, pulling a coaster across the bar and fishing in her pocket for a pencil.

AnyaT started to write when the door to the Bronze banged open and a man strode in. “For god’s sake Ahn, aren’t you ready yet? I thought we were going out for lunch. I’ve been slaving over that computer all morning. I don’t think you’ve any idea how hard it is when I’m pouring out all this emotion in words, not to eat properly.”

Buffy spun round. The same dark hair, soulful eyes, long thick lashes any girl would die for, same pouty, spoilt mouth. There was no mistaking him. “Parker!” she said.

“Well, goodness, look who’s here! Hi Buffy! Long time no see. Have you been away? ” The sulky expression was washed away by the blinding, charming smile she remembered so well. But in this world, thank god, she knew she hadn’t slept with Parker.

They’d gone out on a couple of dates and she’d ended up loathing him so much that she’d dumped him as quickly as she could.

“Yes, I’ve been - out of town,” she said shortly.

“Oh - really - interesting - I’ve been in the Big Apple myself, media work, you know. TV, radio, film scripts Got a big commission to write a book. So we came back to Sunnydale. I need the sun, the quiet - ”

“The money your wife earns,” Buffy said before she could stop herself.

ParkerT shot AnyaT a filthy look. “Been telling everyone our private business, pet?” he said angrily.

“No, of course not.” AnyaT gasped and winced as he grabbed hold of her arm.

“I’ve told you before what will happen to you if you don’t keep your stupid mouth shut!”

“But Parker, I didn’t, I haven’t - ”

“I think you should leave the lady alone.”

They all spun round. Spike was leaning against a table, hands in jeans pockets, staring at ParkerT and the girl.

ParkerT sneered at him. “Oh, yes, and who’s going to stop me?”

Buffy groaned. “That is not a sensible thing to say to Spike,” she said cheerfully. “Just let go of Anya’s arm before my husband makes you.”

“I can do what I like to my own - Yooowwwwwhk” His voice screamed out as Spike effortlessly lifted him and hurled him across the room to smash into a table and lie moaning on the floor.

“Parker!” AnyaT started to run across to him, but Spike caught hold of her round the waist and turned her to face him.

‘Stupid bint!” he shouted. “Stop wasting your time on that one. Walk away while you have the chance.”

“Spike?” Buffy asked cautiously, not sure what he meant.

Without another word, Spike pushed up the long sleeve of AnyaT’s shirt. Buffy gasped and felt sick. There was a row of black and yellow bruises all the way up the girl’s arm and what looked suspiciously like a cigarette burn.

AnyaT had began to cry. “He doesn’t mean it,” she sobbed. “He’s so artistic, you see. So sensitive. I annoy him by being clumsy, by being ugly. He needs to be surrounded by beauty and lovely things. I can’t earn enough money for us. It was different in New York. I had a good job. But here....”

“Anya!” Buffy reached out to grip her hands. “Listen to yourself. This isn’t your fault! It’s his. I dated him a couple of times in college and he was a rotten little prick then and, as far as I can tell, he hasn’t changed at all.”

‘Did he ever hit you?” Spike’s voice was dreadful because it was so quiet, so deadly.

Buffy shook her head. “There were rumours from other girls, but I broke it off with him before we got physical.”

There was a long silence broken only by ParkerT’s moans that doubled as Spike kicked him in the ribs. Buffy knew that was nothing compared to what he would have done if she’d told him that on their second date in this universe, ParkerT had grabbed her hair and pulled it so hard tears had run down her face. She’d been so tempted to kill him herself, but had known she had to control her Slayer strength. Spike would have no compunction on that count.

“You don’t need to stay with him,” she insisted to AnyaT.

The other girl looked at Buffy and for the first time, the Slayer could see a resemblance to the other Anya dawning in her expression.

“The truth is - I’m scared of him,” she said simply. “I thought he was so sweet and sensitive when I met him. I wanted to look after him, make up to him for all the bad things he told me had happened to him in his life. But when we got here he changed. Nothing I did was right. And there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with his life or his family! I didn’t know how to deal with him on my own.”

“Well, you’re not on your own any more, You’ve got us right behind you. But now you’ve taken the first step, I don’t think you’ll let him scare you so much.”

AnyaT pushed her mousey hair behind her ears and straightened her shoulders. ‘I’m going home to pack,’ she said. “I’ll book into a motel tonight and find myself another room tomorrow.”

Buffy scribbled a phone number on the back of AnyaT’s hand. “That’s my friend Willow,’ she said. ‘Ring her, tell her what’s happened. She knew Parker in college, too. She’ll put you up. Trust her.”

Other words trembled in Buffy’s mouth. Words like - if you meet a tall, weird looking guy called D’Hoffryn, give him my regards.

“Thanks. Oh, here’s that name you wanted.” Anya handed over the coaster and without another look at the moaning figure of her husband still lying on the dirty floor, she walked out of the Bronze.

Spike crossed to Buffy and wrapped his arms round her. “Leave you alone for ten minutes and you’re up to your pretty little round ass in trouble,’ he murmured into her hair.

Buffy relaxed against him, luxuriating in the feel of his muscles wondering how she’d come to be so lucky in both universes.

“It’s all so weird, Spike,” she said. “How can AnyaT be an abused wife and our Anya is a vengeance demon? Everything is different here - even us! Can you imagine us spending a night like last night back in the other Sunnydale?”

Spike growled deep inside his chest as the memories of their night roared through his body. He kissed her, running his lips along the delicate lobe of her ear. “Perhaps one day we will,’ he said hopefully. ‘In the meantime, pet, we don’t seem to have got very far in our XanT hunt. The vamps are doing their three monkeys routine all over town.”

Buffy sighed. ‘Perhaps this girl can help. She was the last person to see him.”

She read the name AnyaT had written on the coaster and began to giggle. Oh no! It couldn’t be, but then, why not? She handed it to Spike.

“Bloody hell. Cordelia bloody Chase!”

to be continued









Chp 10 A bottomless pit


The Bronze was empty now. The cleaner boy had vanished and Parker had dragged himself to his feet and staggered off, mouthing curses at Buffy who ignored him.
She hoped AnyaT would take her advice and go to stay with WillT. It was so weird that she was a vengeance demon in one world and a battered wife in the other.

Spike wandered behind the bar and poured himself a whisky and Buffy a glass of Coke. He shook his head to clear his mind.

“So Cordelia works here, eh?” he said. “Why don’t I recall her in this world? I should do. I can remember us being friends with WillT, OzT and XanT. Do you remember CordeliaT?”

Buffy nodded slowly. “Yes, we were at school together in both universes. But here she didn’t leave town, she got a job - ” She frowned and tried to force her brain to work. Living in two worlds that were geographically the same but slightly different otherwise was doing her head in.

“Yes, she was working in a riding stables, just outside of town. She loves horses in this Sunnydale. I used to watch her in gymkhanas and shows. She was - is - very good. I’ve no idea why she’s working shifts here at the Bronze.”

“So we head out and find her - maybe she and XanT are shacked up together somewhere cosy. They had quite a thing going in the other Sunnydale. Perhaps the connection started here, too. They might well be humping like rabbits somewhere and he’s just lost track of time.”

Buffy gulped down her drink, suddenly feeling irritated. “Honestly, Spike, why do you think everything is to do with sex? I’m worried about XanT. Perhaps he’s had an accident and is lying somewhere badly injured. Had that occurred to your over-heated brain or rather to the other over-heated part of your anatomy - which, OK, not heated, but definitely over stimulated most of the time?”

Spike whirled round and pulled her into his arms. She struggled, glaring into his laughing blue eyes, but he held her tightly - the only person she knew who could pit his strength against her and sometimes win.

“Got something against sex all of a sudden, pet?” he murmured. “Haven’t noticed it myself, but then if your actions last night are you being anti sex, well, I can’t wait for the day you do get interested in it!”

He bent forward as she indignantly opened her mouth to speak and worried her lower lip between his teeth. She shuddered as his tongue followed, teasing hers until it gave in and twined with his.

She felt a rush of fluid dampen her panties and groaned. She pressed her breasts against his chest. They ached so much, the nipples were so hard, so raw, they needed loving, moisture, they needed -

Her top was pushed up and at last his thumbs reached inside her bra and rubbed abrasively over the quivering tips.

Buffy felt her legs go. They started to tremble and it was only the wooden bar behind her that was keeping her upright.

“Say it,” he whispered as her fingers drove into his hair, pulling at the blond curls. “Just bloody say you love this.”

“I love it!” she gasped and gloried in the way he lifted her up, tore aside her panties and thrust inside her. Because it was true. Whatever they did to and for each other, it was driven by love.

But even as Spike vamped out as he climaxed, a small knot of worry wormed its way into her brain.

She loved having sex with Spike because she loved him. But, as she’d said to him earlier, he seemed to think of everything in terms of physical passion. Did he really love her, Buffy Summers the person, or did he just like making love to her? Did he even see that there was a difference?

What was even worse was the thought, did she really love him, or just what he made her feel physically when he touched her? Was she driven by lust or love?

Twenty minutes later, Buffy rolled out of his arms and got to her feet, gazing round the Bronze. “This is where we first met, isn’t it?”

“Well, it’s where I first saw you. We spoke outside. Remember. You were fighting a demon. That was in the other place. Here - ” he got to his feet and pulled on his jeans which had somehow got flung over the bar. “I saw you and we danced. That was that, pet, as far as I was concerned. You caught me, hook, line and sinker, whatever a sinker is! Fat chance I had of escaping!”

Buffy pulled on her own clothes, suddenly feeling chilly. Spike was making it sound as if she’d set out to trap him, that he didn’t have any say in the matter. Indeed, he was making it sound as though he would rather not have been caught!

Spike reached out to stroke her cheek, but she turned her face away before his fingers could touch her and pretended to glance at her watch. “We’d better go and find CordeliaT and see what she has to say about XanT,” she said.

“OK, sweetheart.” Spike looked at her, puzzled. He had a strong desire to shiver, which was ridiculous as he didn’t feel the cold.

Spike had gone back to Revello Drive by underground tunnel to fetch their car. Luckily it had windows of dark glass so driving out of town to the stables was easy. Buffy was glad of the rock tape playing as they drove. It made conversation impossible which, at the moment, was a good thing.

She realised she was terrified he would ask her what was wrong. And she didn’t know. All she felt was that within minutes, what had seemed like a rock like certainty in her life had become a bottomless pit of quicksand.

The stables lay just outside town. Buffy could see horses standing in the shade under the trees as they drove up. They lifted their heads and scented the air as the car passed them. Eyes rolled whitely in their heads - vampire!

“Stay here. I’ll knock and see if she’s home,” Buffy said, swinging herself out of the car before he could protest.

But banging on the front door brought no Cordelia out onto the porch. Buffy slid back into the car.

‘Where now, Goldilocks?” Spike asked.

“Drive over to the barn,” she replied. “She might be in there, working.”

Spike parked in the deep shade cast by the tall wooden building and joined Buffy as she pushed open the huge double doors.

“Hello! Cordelia! Hi! Are you there? It’s Buffy and Spike.”

The barn lay in silence before them, dust motes drifting up to the rafters through the thin beams of sunlight that lanced down from the high windows.

Spike moved himself out of one, wincing as it caught the bare skin of his neck. “Place is a ruddy death trap,” he muttered. “Cordy!!!” His voice echoed round the stacked bales of hay and straw.

‘There’s no one here,” Buffy said.

Spike bent and touched the ground. “Well, someone’s be here very recently, pet. Look, the ground’s been scruffed up and the soil underneath is still damp.”

They moved deeper into the barn, then suddenly Spike stopped and, to Buffy’s amazement, jumped up and down.

“What on earth - ?”

“It’s hollow, luv. Underneath our feet. Trap door. Used too many myself not to recognise one.”

He bent and scraped away the straw covering. A wooden door lay in the floor. Spike pulled it up and it swung easily on oiled hinges.

Buffy and Spike looked at each other and he raised an eyebrow. “Well used,” he said tersely. “What do you reckon, pet. Storage chamber? Tunnel entrance? CordeliaT’s own little love nest to shag in secret away from prying eyes and ears?”

Buffy winced.

Spike frowned. “OK, what the bleeding hell is wrong, Slayer? You’re giving me the heebie-jeebies. What have I done that’s upset you? Was it meeting Anya like that?”

Buffy shook her head. There was no way she could even begin to explain how she felt to Spike, because she didn’t know hersself!

To her horror she could feel tears stinging in her eyes. Without speaking, she pulled a stake from her pocket, pushed past her husband and lowered herself cautiously down the ladder into the darkness below.


to be continued

 

Chp 11 Ten out of Ten


Feeling irritated, Spike followed Buffy down through the trap door in the barn floor, down a ladder into the darkness below. He just wished he bloody well knew what he’d done wrong to make her so antsy.

In the Sunnydale where they weren’t married, he could have guessed at a thousand things that would piss her off, but here where he could remember both worlds, they were husband and wife and happy, so why couldn’t she tell him?

The light from above was just enough to show him a wide empty space with tunnels leading off in several directions. Buffy had found a torch on a ledge and switched it on, the beam bouncing off the rock walls.

Spike sniffed the air. Buffy turned, her eyes questioning. “ XanT’s been here,” he said. ‘But not recently. It’s old scent.”

“Where on earth do all these tunnels go?” Buffy flashed the torch from one to the other. “Sometimes I think the whole of California is sitting on top of a vast maze.”

Spike grinned. “You’re not far wrong, pet. Especially around Sunnydale and the Hellmouth. So much vampire and demon activity. For centuries we’ve been digging out pathways and places to live. Lots have been abandoned for years - I know quite a few, but there’s miles and miles I’ve never explored.”

“Why would XanT be down here?”

Spike shrugged and ran his fingers through his hair. “Knowing the boy as well as we do, perhaps he has a secret store of booze down here somewhere. Nice and private, away from all his friends’ inquisitive eyes.”

Buffy pulled a face. “OK, we know he has a drink problem in this world. But right out here, miles from town? Why not stash it closer to home?”

Spike sat on the ladder. He was trying hard not to show her that he was getting bored with the whole “let’s save Xander” scenario.

Okay, in this world he liked the boy - hell, they’d even gone out for a beer together once or twice and XanT had never been even the slightest bit bothered by him and Buffy being together.

But in the other world - Spike frowned - it was almost as if his life here was slowly dissolving, and he was reverting to the other Spike, the one who couldn’t stand Xander Harris in any shape or form. And the one who definitely wasn’t married to the Slayer.

He felt a shaft of fear jet through him. Was that what all her odd reactions had been about? Did she feel that way, too? Was the magic that Willow had conjured up fading in some way?

“Too many friendly eyes on him all the time, I suppose, luv. You and me - when we’re here and not busy saving another world - Willow, Oz. Now there’s Tara. A nice girl in both worlds, that’s obvious. But sometimes nice girls can be hard on a bloke. Perhaps trying to live up to everyone’s expectations just gets too much for the poor guy sometimes.”

Buffy shuddered. She couldn’t look at Spike. It was chilly down here and his words were making her feel cold. Living up to everyone’s expectations. Well, that was something she could write a book about - a very large book, with pictures and an index.

“Whatever - he still isn’t here. We’d better get back. I want to find Cordelia and have a word with her. She might know something. She’s still the last person to see him at the Bronze, as far as we know.”

She turned to go up the ladder, but Spike was still sitting on it, not moving.

“What’s up?”

“You tell me, Buffy.” His voice was cool and silky and it made little shivers run up and down her spine.

“Tell you what?”

“Why you’re suddenly acting as if I’m a stranger you’ve just met. I can feel the bloody disapproval coming off of you in waves. Just tell me what I’ve done. Or rather, what the precious Slayer thinks I’ve done.”

Buffy tried to push past him, but he was too strong. She didn’t understand what was happening, They never argued in this world.

In the struggle, the torch was knocked from her grasp and fell with a smash on the rocky floor.

“Oh great, Spike. Hope you’ve got some cash to pay Cordy for that. Will you please stop being such a ....a....clod and let me pass!”

In the dark, Spike grabbed her fists and pulled her towards him, to kneel between his legs on the step of the ladder below his.

He could smell the shampoo she’d used in her hair, the fabric softener on her jeans, sweat on her skin, the mint on her breath from a long discarded piece of chewing gum.

“Kiss me!” he demanded suddenly.

“What? No. Stop it, Spike. We’ve no time for this nonsense. Why would I want to kiss you, anyway?”

‘“You’re my wife. Isn’t that a good enough reason?”

Buffy struggled to free her hands from his. “Your wife....I’m not really....” her head felt muzzy. It must be the damp musty air down here that was affecting her.

Yes, of course in this Sunnydale she was his wife, but in the other one she wasn’t. Which world was real? Why did she suddenly feel that if she could turn the torch on again, she would see a thin, blond man sitting there on the ladder. A vampire who irritated and teased her, who was a continual thorn in her side, but not her husband.

But here she loved him. Yes, in the mists of the uncertainty that were swirling through her brain, that at least was something concrete. But in that other place? Why didn’t she love him there, too?

“Buffy...make love to me!”

A flood of desire swept over her. She had the dreadful feeling that what she was doing was very wrong, but oh god, she wanted him so badly.

She leant forward into his embrace and kissed him, softly at first, feeling his lips soft and eager, then hungrily, greedily. His tongue demanded and took her own and she felt the spark of desire that was always present between them ignite and travel down to her breasts, her stomach, that soft, damp place between her legs that would only answer to his touch.

A little moan sounded deep in her throat as his hands slid under her top to caress her breasts, the thumbs moving slowly and seductively over her nipples, sending little ripples of feeling flashing across her nerve endings. Then one hand was sliding down inside her jeans, pushing them down so she could kick them off into the darkness.

And his thumb was - oh god it was inside her, rubbing her clit so slowly, so lightly, she could feel moisture running over her thighs.

Oh god, he was going to fuck her. She began to pant as a finger joined his thumb and drove her on. And she wanted him to. Because she loved him, because he was - her husband? But, he wasn’t, was he? He was just Spike....

She began a soft keening noise as her first climax hit her, and by the time he drove his prick inside her she was screaming his name, begging for him to do it harder, faster, deeper, again and again - and he did.


Buffy didn’t look at Spike as she got dressed. She couldn’t find the words she needed.

“You still haven’t told me what’s wrong?” he said wearily as they climbed back up the ladder into the barn. “You enjoyed that, you can’t tell me you didn’t, sweetheart.”

Buffy gave a little laugh. “Ten out of ten for the sex, Spike. That’s not the problem.”

“Then what in god’s name is it?” he roared, swinging round in game face, his black coat flying.

“I think...I think that’s what holds us together in this world, Spike. Sex. Lust. Passion. Call it what you want. Okay, we loved each other. Got married. But in the other Sunnydale we’re - well sort of enemies. And somehow, Willow’s spell is fading and in this world we’re reverting to the people we are back on the other side of the portal. So yes, having sex is great, but it’s still wrong because our life here is a sham, isn’t it?”

His face reverted to human and his blue gaze burnt into hers. He reached out a finger and traced a line down her face from forehead, cheek and chin. God, how beautiful his golden girl was.

She thought his feelings were a sham? Bloody Hell. How on earth could he make her understand that he felt like this about her in both worlds? Well, he could only try. He took a deep breath -

‘Buffy! Spike! What on earth are you doing out here in the barn? ”

They spun round to find Cordelia Chase standing in the doorway, looking at them with a very puzzled expression on her face.

to be continued




Chp 12 Just Nonsense


Cordelia Chase stood looking at Spike and Buffy, a puzzled expression on her face. She was wearing smart fawn jodhpurs and a bright yellow shirt, her dark hair tied back at the nape of her neck with a yellow scarf. In both worlds, Cordelia never looked anything but smart.

Buffy smiled at the pretty, dark haired girl. “Oh, hi, Cordy, we couldn’t find you up at the house, so thought you might be here in the barn.”

“I’ve been exercising one of the horses out on a trail. How are you two? It’s lovely to see you. You haven’t been around for ages and ages. Willow said you’d been away?”

“Er, yes, we have,” Buffy said, wondering if an alternative universe counted as ‘away’. “But we’re back now - for a little while, at least.”

Spike moved to her side and put his hand on her shoulder.

CordyT laughed. “You two love-birds! You’ve always been the same. Unable to keep your hands off each other for two minutes at a time. You don’t have to tell me why you were out here in the barn. It’s written all over your faces what you’ve been doing. Honestly, Spike, if you don’t want to give the game away, you might be more careful and button your fly with the right buttons in the right holes!”

Spike glanced down and cursed. He’d been in too much of a fret over Buffy’s behaviour to get himself done up right. Thank god he’d done some of the buttons up at least!

Buffy felt her face going red. Thank heavens CordyT hadn’t appeared a few minutes earlier while she and Spike had been - well, just thank heavens she hadn’t. “Umm, well, hey, Cordy, we’re looking for Xander? He’s gone missing and people are beginning to worry. As far as we can tell, you were the last person to see him at the Bronze a few nights ago. Have you got any idea where he’s gone?’

CordyT frowned. “Xander? I think I remember serving him a beer. I’ve been working extra shifts at the Bronze, you know, so I can buy my own horse.”

Buffy stared at her. Warm eyes, smiling face, approachable manner - it was hard to realise this was Cordelia Chase, but in this alternative Sunnydale, she was completely different from the uptight little snob Buffy had known so well in school.

“So, do you know where Xander went when he left the Bronze? Did he mention anything.”

CordyT frowned. “Well, he’d had a lot to drink - as usual! ”

“So the boy was drunk?” Spike put in dryly. “What a surprise.”

CordyT pulled a face. “You know what Xan’s like. He can’t hold his drink. He wanted another beer after the one I sold him, but I told him no, you’ve had enough.”

“So he just went off home?”

CordyT pulled off the yellow scarf and shook out her dark hair. “Oh come on, Buffy. You know as well as I do that when Xan decides to go on one of his drunken sprees, he’ll find a bar where someone will sell him booze.”

Buffy and Spike exchanged glances. That was what she’d been worried about. If XanT had wandered into a bar somewhere on the rougher side of town, anything could have happened to him. And it didn’t have to be demon inspired either.

“I could scent him down in the tunnels under this barn,” Spike said shortly. “Did you know he’s been using them?”

CordyT laughed. “You must be mistaken, Spike. Xander hasn’t been out here to the stables for months - no probably at least a year.”

Buffy was about to speak when she felt Spike’s hand on her shoulder again, pressing a warning. This was weird. She might query Spike about lots of things in their odd life that spanned two worlds, but if he said he could scent XanT in the tunnels, then XanT had been there.

So why was CordyT pretending he hadn’t? She could have made up all sorts of excuses as to why he’d been there.

‘Right, well, thanks for your help. I suppose we’d better get back to town,’ Buffy said brightly. “You ready, Spike?”

“Whenever you are, sweetheart.”

“Oh, have you got to go so soon? We haven’t had a chance to catch up. Harmony’s coming over this evening for a drink. You remember her from school, don’t you. Harmony Kendall. Nice girl. Incredibly brainy. She‘s on vacation from Harvard. She’s studying law. She’ll be sad to miss you.”

Buffy felt a shudder run through Spike’s body and knew he was trying to stop laughing at the thought of Harmony being brainy. She had to admit the desire to lie on the floor and kick hysterically was overwhelming her, too! “Maybe next time,” she said.

CordyT sighed. “OK. But you’ll miss meeting my boyfriend, too. I wanted us all to hang out together.”

Buffy had stopped listening. She was urging Spike towards the door before he exploded. “Must dash. See you soon, Cordy. Thanks for the info. We’ll hunt through all the bars in town for Xander. Expect he’s lying behind one.”

Together, she and Spike hurtled out of the bar and dived into the car which was still standing in the shadow of the barn.

Spike flung himself behind the wheel and reached for a flask under the dashboard. “Oh god, Harmony is studying law at Harvard. I think I’m going to have to get very very drunk to deal with that one.”

“Must you start now?” Buffy snapped, wondering why she was so on edge with him.

“This is blood, sweetheart, not whisky,” Spike drawled, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. “Hey, Vampire, remember? Need to eat occasionally. So do you, by the way. How about stopping off on the way back into town to get you a burger?”

“Spike - wake up and smell the coffee! XanT wandered away from the Bronze to find another drink. He must have ended up facing off some nasty or other. He could be dead. Why do you think I’d be interested in eating?’

Spike flung the flask onto the back seat. “Back off, Slayer. What the heck’s wrong with you today? We’ll find XanT - I promise. You passing out from hunger isn’t going to improve the situation any. And anyway, I don’t think he’s in any bar in town. I told you - checked the demon grapevine. No one’s seen him.”

“Perhaps they were lying?”

Spike reached out and ran a finger slowly down her cheek, across her throat and down to where the soft flesh of her breast showed at the edge of her V necked T shirt. ‘“I can be awfully persuasive, sweetheart. Remember?”

Buffy caught her breath and fought the desire to wrap her arms round his neck and pull his head down onto her breast, let his tongue weave its magic across her aching nipples.

She clenched her fists, turned her head away and gazed out of the window at the horses standing head to tail under the trees in the paddock. She wouldn’t let Spike see, but there were tears in her eyes.

In her heart she knew what was happening. It was obvious. Whatever spell Willow had cast ten months ago was beginning to erode at last. The happy Buffy and Spike, married to each other and living contentedly with friends and family were fading away, becoming a nonsense.

All that remained was the chipped, evil Spike and herself, Buffy Summers, the Slayer who was going out with a nice guy called Riley Finn. She had a mother, an irritating little sister, friends, a life of her own. All she had to do was tell Spike the spell had worn off, that even if he was still under its thrall, she wasn’t. Then they could stop all this lust and passion and bone-achingly good sex. Because it was wrong. She was wrong. And she had to tell him. It wasn’t fair to go on like this, acting out this charade.

“Spike - listen - ” she got out.

“Hey, yes, how weird was that about CordyT saying XanT hadn’t been down in those tunnels, sweetheart. Because the scent was there. And I’ve been thinking about that. I said it was old, but I could have been wrong. The more I think about it, the more it seems it was sort of muffled, covered up.”

Buffy frowned and postponed what she was going to say. There would be plenty of time to sort out her relationship with Spike once they’d found XanT and returned him to TaraT. And time to let him touch you again, a tiny voice muttered at the back of her brain.

“You mean someone had deliberately tried to hide his scent?”

Spike shook his blond head and gazed out of the darkened car window to where they could see CordyT walking back towards the house.

“Nooo, not exactly. More, bloody hell, I don’t know. You’re the brains of the outfit. More as if - well, daft as it sounds, it was as if he‘d been wrapped up in something heavy that cloaked the scent.”

“So CordyT is lying?”

Spike shrugged. “You get better odds on Miss Chase telling porkies than you do a few measly demons holding out against yours truly, pet.”

“But why?”

Spike grinned and ran his hand up her bare arm. “Told you before, I reckon she’s got a secret sex den hidden down in the tunnels. Perhaps she’s keeping XanT as her latest sex toy.”

“Ewww, Spike. Gross.” Buffy moved away slightly from his touch, hoping that he wouldn’t notice. The last thing she needed at the moment was a show down with Spike. Hopefully, they could find XanT and then get back to their own Sunnydale.

Surely, once she was safely home, back in a world that made sense, all this loving Spike nonsense would become just that - nonsense.

Spike started the car and they drove away down the track back towards town. They’d gone about a mile when Buffy said firmly, “Spike, stop the car. Turn round. We’re going back.”

The vampire swung the wheel violently and the car spun in its own length, throwing up clouds of dust from the track. “Sounds as if you’ve got a plan, Slayer.”

“All I know is that if CordyT is lying, then she should get a prize. Something very big and shiny with bells on and stars! I believed her completely. So, if there’s something that needs to be lied about that well, I want to know what it is. We need to get back inside those tunnels, Spike. Somewhere down there is the answer.”

to be continued

 

With This Ring by Lilachigh

Chapter 13 Going Barmy



Buffy followed Spike back inside the barn. She’d stopped to collect another torch from the car, knowing that the remains of the one they’d smashed earlier were still in the tunnel.

Spike lifted the trapdoor and she followed him silently down into the darkness, pulling the cover back over their heads as she went. She didn’t want CordyT to see that they’d come back to explore.

As she neared the bottom of the ladder, she felt his hands reach up to her waist to lift her down the final few feet. It wasn’t necessary; she knew he was only doing it because that was what they did in this Sunnydale - use every available second to touch each other.

Buffy felt the scalding tears burn at the back of her throat and couldn’t stop herself from tensing. She knew that Willow’s spell had almost vanished, as far as she was concerned. She didn’t really understand why Spike was still pretending that he loved her.

Silently she pulled away from him and could sense bewilderment and hurt. But she couldn’t help it. They weren’t really in love. It was a spell. Magic. She had to keep telling herself that.

“Right, pet, here we are again, and I can still smell a faint trace of XanT down here,’ Spike said quietly. Then he frowned. “There’s another scent, too, but....no, bloody hell, I’m going barmy, that can’t be right,” he muttered under his breath.

Buffy wasn’t listening. All she wanted to do now was find XanT, get him home to Tara and then get herself and Spike back to their own world, where their relationship was clearly defined, Slayer and Vampire, with no love, no feelings and definitely no sex.

She flashed the torch around, noticing for the first time that of the three tunnels leading out of the cave area, one headed back towards the house. “We don’t want to go that way. It must come up somewhere indoors. CordyT could hear us. Which way is the XanT scent the strongest?”

Spike half shut his eyes and took a deep breath. Then he nodded towards the right hand passage. “That one. Definitely. But as I said before, sweetheart, it’s bloody odd. The scent is in the air - almost as if he wasn’t touching the ground at all.”

Buffy frowned, then bit her lip. “You mean, he might have been carried?”

Spike looked grave. He nodded silently and headed off down the passage. That second scent had started a strange suspicion growing second by second inside his head, but there was no way he could tell Buffy. What if he was wrong?

The air grew colder as they walked further. Buffy began to shiver. How could it be so cold when it was so hot above ground?

“I’d loan you the duster to warm you up, but it might be a bit big on you,” Spike commented with a grin. “Teach you to run around wearing bits of cotton with little strings holding it up.” He ran a finger lovingly over the bronze rounded top of her arm.. “You’ve got goose bumps, luv.”

“Chilly down here,” Buffy replied, not wanting to admit that the goose bumps were mainly caused by his touch on her skin, not the dip in temperature.

“I could warm you up in a second, sweetheart,” he drawled in her ear and she shuddered as she laughed and moved swiftly ahead of him.

‘I shuddered because he’s a vampire,’ she told herself firmly. ‘Not because I want him. Vampire. Evil. No soul. Just remember last time you gave your heart to a vampire and saw it smashed to pieces. You don’t love him. It was just a spell. And now it’s wearing off. Oh god, Willow, I could kill you. If only you hadn’t been so unhappy about Oz, none of this would ever have happened.’

“You want to go back, don’t you?” Spike said suddenly. He knew he should keep his mouth shut but then tact had never been his strong point in either Sunnydale. “You would rather live in the other world, the one where we’re not married!”

Buffy hugged her arms round her cold body. “Spike, I don’t want to get into this now. We’ve got too much to do here.”

Spike stopped and leant against the rocky wall of the passage. The light from the torch swung up and caught the high cheekbones, the slanting scar on his eyebrow, the gleam of bright blue eyes.

“I think we have to get into it, pet. Bloody hell, Buffy, you’re my wife! I love you. OK, not in the other place, but it’s hard to remember that when I'm here. And anyway - ” he paused, then went on, “I love you there, too.”

She shook her head. “It’s a spell, Spike. Magic. You know it is. You don’t really love me here. Or there. And I don’t love you. Of course I don’t. You’re a vampire. I’ve got a boyfriend, Riley, you know I have.”

“Not in this world you don’t.”

“But that’s just the point! Don’t you see, I’m not two different people. I’m me, Buffy Summers. If I’m your wife here, then I’m cheating on you with Riley, and cheating on Riley with you! And I just...I just can’t cope with that any more.”

“I’m not two different people, either. And I know exactly how I feel about you in both worlds. That won’t change. And I know damn well you love me in this world.”

“No, it’s Willow’s old spell that - ”

“For God’s sake, Buffy. Why are you always looking for an escape clause in life? You just think, oh magic, must be the spell that’s making me feel something for Spike. You’re not honest, Slayer. Not to me and not even to yourself.”

Buffy felt her fists clench, anger coursing through her. “Well, many thanks for the character assassination. If I wanted lessons on my morals, I think I’d have better people to ask than William the Bloody.”

“Oh right. Who, for example. Red? The whelp? Your Watcher? What the hell do they know about love, Buffy? They’re too weird, too young and too old!”

“Old? Excuse me, Mr over a hundred years and counting. Weird? Look in a mirror sometimes, why don’t you - oh no point is there, you haven’t got a reflection to look at. As for young - ”

“Hush!”

“What?”

Spike’s hand was across her mouth and for a second she struggled, then realised he was being serious. She nodded slightly to accept what he was doing and he gently took his hand away and pointed down the passageway.

“Voices,” he murmured, his lips brushing her ear.

“How many?”

“Two or three.”

“XanT?”

Spike shook his head, absentmindedly. “Maybe. But ....” The scent he’d found in the air earlier was stronger now. He couldn’t believe it, but his nose wasn’t lying to him.

He hesitated. Should he tell Buffy now? He opened his mouth to whisper, but she was already moving away. She’d covered the face of the torch with her fingers so only a faint pink glow showed her the way.

Spike followed, the duster swishing behind him. This could get really messy.

The passage swung sharply and Spike realised it was getting lighter ahead. A jumble of big boulders littered their path and Buffy crawled cautiously across them.

The voices were louder now. They were chanting, deep and monotonous. Buffy hooked her fingers over a rocky ridge and pulled herself up as far as she could. She stared down into a big cave. The entrance to the outside was covered with green undergrowth and enough light came in for her to see quite clearly.

She froze, only vaguely aware of Spike’s body pressed next to hers. There in the centre of the cave, XanT was staked out on the floor, a gag in his mouth, his shirt torn open to expose his chest.

Three people were kneeling around him. CordeliaT, her eyes gleaming as she swayed from side to side, HarmonyT, her bright blonde hair a mass of curls, happily chanting as she stared down at XanT.

And between them, broad-shouldered, dark hair tousled, chanting in a low voice and holding a shiny silver knife over XanT’s chest, was her ex lover, the man she would cheerfully have died for. Spike’s grandsire.

It was Angel.


tbc


 

With This Ring.... by Lilachigh


Chapter 14 All over again



Buffy stared down at the scene below her in disbelief. Even as she watched, frozen, Angel flicked the knife across XanT’s chest and a thin line red appeared on his pale skin.

She must have cried out as her friend in both Sunnydale’s gasped in pain. AngelT, CordyT and HarmonyT spun round to see where the noise had come from.

“Spike - ” Buffy forced her legs to move.

“Easy, sweetheart,” he murmured in her ear, his hand under her elbow. “Remember, it isn’t your Angel. We don’t know who he is in this world.”

AngelT stood up, snarling, blood dripping from the point of the knife. CordyT grasped his arm. “Well look who’s come to join the party, lover. It’s my friend Buffy and Spike. I told you about them.” She gazed up at Buffy, her dark eyes glinting. “You should have kept on driving back to town, Buffy. This isn’t your concern.”

Buffy slid her way down the loose rock onto the cave floor, Spike following at her back. She circled warily round the three of them, desperate to see if XanT was badly hurt.

“What the hell are you doing, Cordelia?”

“Hi, Buffy. Hi , Spike. Long time no see.” It was HarmonyT who was still sitting cross-legged besides XanT’s bound body. “How you been keeping?”

CordyT stepped away from AngelT but Buffy never took her eyes off the dark haired vampire. Spike was right. This wasn’t the man she’d known, loved and lost. He looked the same but his eyes were hard, like stones, and the mouth that could be tender, looked cruel in this world. He still hadn’t spoken, but shifted easily on bare feet, tossing the knife from hand to hand.

“He’s a vampire, Cordy,” Buffy said, sensing that whoever else Angel was, that was still the same.

“Of course he is,” Cordy said impatiently. “Why do you always think that you’re the only person in Sunnydale who can have a relationship with one? You always were the drama queen. You and Spike, your great love. Oh no one has ever loved like us. Slayer and Vampire. What a mixture. God, I got so tired of hearing about it. Well, Angel is my boyfriend. I told you earlier I wanted you to meet him. Well, now you have. A pity it will only be for a few seconds before you die, but hey, that‘s life!”

“So this is the Slayer,” AngelT spoke at last with a thick Irish accent. “Who’s the other vamp?”

Buffy sensed Spike circling the cave behind her. She knew he had CordyT in his sights.

“You don’t recognise me?” Spike sounded surprised and, Buffy realised, a little hurt.

“Never seen you before, boy,” AngelT sneered. “Why don’t you clear off and go and find your own meal.”

“You’re feeding from Xander?” Buffy asked, horrified. “Cordy, Harmony, you’re not vampires. How could you - ”

“Oh, grow up, Buffy,” CordyT snapped. “We don’t have to be vamps to join in the ceremony of Turckpai. You must know that. You’ve been the Slayer long enough.”

“Turkey Pie?” Buffy moved again, trying to force AngelT away from XanT who she could see was struggling to free one of his hands where the ropes looked a little loose.

“Turckpai, pet,” Spike said from the shadows. “Haven’t heard that one since - well, for a very long time. It’s a sort of ancient initiation test vampires used to do on humans who consorted with them. You each make a cut in turn and the vamp drinks. Trouble is, you have to keep on cutting until the victim dies. Dracula was a dab hand at it. But I’ve never seen it done. Angel and Darla never did it, far as I know. But then they never hung round with humans - until you came along.”

“Who are you talking about?” Angrily, AngelT spun round to Spike. “Don’t use my name when you don’t know me. And who the hell’s Darla?”

“We get a badge,” Harmony T said eagerly. “Well, not a badge, exactly, but a sort of little mark on our arms. It’s fun. Far better than all those boring law books I’ve been studying. They are so dull, you would never believe it.”

“Harmony - ”

“I never wanted to be a lawyer,” the blonde rattled on, seemingly unaware of the tension all around her. “My parents were so keen. I wanted to be a model or a film star. When I get my mark, I’m going to Hollywood. I reckon I could be another Julia Roberts.”

“Harmony - ” Spike tried this time. “Shut the fuck up and get out of here now.”

His voice sliced through the damp air in the cave and the blonde stopped in full flight. She glanced up, startled, caught the sapphire blue stare and stood up, hesitantly.

“Harmony, sit down!” It was AngelT. “We haven’t finished with the victim.”

The blonde tossed back a riot of curls and stared nervously back and forth between him and Spike. “Well, Angel, I’d like to stay, I really would, but this was always yours and Cordelia’s game, wasn’t it? She only invited me because I was staying with her. And if I hurry, I can just make the mall.”

“Harmony - run!” Buffy snapped and the girl turned and fled out of the cave without a backwards glance.

AngelT smiled at Buffy and her blood turned to ice. She had once lived to see that smile. Now, in this world, it spelt out evil and a complete lack even the smallest hint of compassion.

“Angelus?” she whispered.

“Who’s he, Slayer? Another vampire boyfriend? Don’t know why you don’t just join Cordy and me in our little drinking session. Here - take the knife, make a cut. Sure, you don’t know what you’re missing unless you try it.”

Buffy swallowed and reached for the stake in her pocket. She felt sick and her limbs were heavy and lifeless. How could she kill Angel all over again? OK, it wasn’t her Angel and - the thought blazed through her brain like a comet - she no longer loved him, but the memory of love was still there.

And she couldn’t let Spike kill CordyT. She was still human and Spike was still a vampire. She hadn’t actually killed anyone yet.

“Just let Xander go,” she said.

“No way!” CordyT snapped. “You don’t know what trouble I went to getting him here. ”

“Why Xander?”

CordyT shrugged. “Who’d really miss him? He’s the town drunk. His new girlfriend would worry for a couple of days and then move on. His parents hate him and his best friend is far more concerned with her boyfriend than him. He was the perfect choice.”

“I’ve had enough of all this talk!” With lightning speed, AngelT leapt forward, the knife arching upwards in a vicious swing. Buffy leapt to one side, kicking out as she did, catching the vampire on the knee with her foot.

She was aware of Spike and CordyT struggling together. “Don’t kill her, Spike!” she screamed as Angel swung again with the knife, cursing as he did so.

“Fights like a hell cat!” Spike yelled, dodging to avoid the razor sharp, blood red nails that were aimed at his eyes. Bloody hell! It was all very well for Buffy to say not to kill, but it wasn’t going to be so easy.

The fight raged on and Buffy winced as the knife slashed a thin cut down her arm. AngelT growled in delight at the sight of Slayer blood and charged in for the kill.

“Buffy! Watch out!” Spike yelled anxiously, and let CordyT go as he tried to reach his wife and put his body between hers and the black haired vampire.

Buffy spun round, backed away from AngelT’s charge, tripped over XanT and went tumbling to the floor. As she rolled across the cave, she saw XanT free one hand, and lift it above his head as if to ward off a blow as AngelT bent over him.

Then, in disbelief, she realised he must have been holding the wooden peg they’d used to fasten the rope. It caught Angel full in the chest and with a roar of disbelief he went from flesh to bone to dust.

And was gone.


to be continued
 

With This Ring by Lilachigh


Chapter 15 Choices


“Who was that guy?” XanT was walking up and down, muttering to himself, rubbing his wrists where the ropes had cut. “He was going to kill me!”

“His name was Angel,” Buffy said distantly. She was sitting on the grass under the trees, watching the horses grazing a few yards away.

“You seemed to know him.”

Buffy stared sightlessly across the paddock. “No, I never knew him at all,” she said softly.

“A vampire, that’s who he was!” XanT seemed to have the same gift of stating the obvious in this universe as he did in the other Sunnydale, Buffy thought.

She glanced round but there was no sign of her husband. Spike had taken CordyT back to her house, insisting that she packed a case and got out of town immediately. Of Harmony there was no sign at all. Harmony was a survivor, Buffy realised.

She wished she was. She felt drained, hollow, weary beyond belief. And she didn’t know why. She had told XanT the truth. She didn’t know this Angel. His death should have meant nothing to her.

“So, who was that guy?”

Buffy found she was pulling up handfuls of grass, angrily, compulsively. “Xander, why don’t you go back to town. Tara will be so worried about you. You need to let her know you’re OK.”

“You’re right. Tara - worried - so me make her better. God, I could do with a drink. Don’t suppose Spike’s got any whisky in your car, has he?”

Buffy looked up at him. It was so weird. The same dark hair, dark eyes, friendly, funny face. And yet she didn’t like this Xander. She sensed that inside he was weak where her Xander in the other Sunnydale was strong.

“No, no whisky. Take the car and go, Xander. We’ll come back when we’ve finished up here. There’s a truck in the barn we can use.”

“OK, see you later.” and he moved away, still muttering, “Who was that guy?”

Buffy sat on in the shade. She felt she had lost all power of movement. Her legs seemed dead and she had a thumping headache. She wanted to be home, curled up in her bed where the sheets were soft and cool and smelt of her mother’s vanilla fabric softener.

The hairs on her back of her neck stirred and then relaxed as thin cold fingers began to massage the tense muscles across her shoulders, digging into that spot inside her shoulder blades that ached so much.

Buffy rolled her head round. God that felt good.

“Not happy pet, are you?”

She couldn’t lie to him. He knew her too well. “No.”

“He wasn’t our Angel, you know. He never loved you in this world. You never loved him.”

“I know.”

She felt him sit on the grass behind her, then his legs were stretched out on either side of her and he pulled her back between them to lean against his chest. He rubbed his chin on the top of her head.

“So, did this Angel dying make you realise you still love him back in our Sunnydale? Is that what all this angst is about?”

Buffy tried to turn, but her held her still and after a second or two she stopped struggling and just relaxed back against him. “No, Spike. I don’t love him in either world. I did love him, once, but that seems a long time ago when I was very young.”

“Oh yes, and you’re so old now, of course! Ancient, even.”

“I feel it.”

She felt the muscles in his chest tighten. “God, Buffy, sometimes you can really irritate me, do you know that?”

She shrugged, hurt but determined not to show it. “You don’t have to stay around if you don’t want to.”

“Buffy, we’re married. Husband and wife. Or have you forgotten that? Just because i get irritated with you or you get annoyed with me, doesn’t mean either of us needs to walk away. Married people have rows, disagreements. ” He dropped a kiss on the blonde curls tickling his nose. “Then they make up. It’s fun.”

“And sometimes they walk away and never come back,” she said softly. “So why do I irritate you?”

“It’s all you, you, you, all the time. OK, you felt weird seeing XanT dust Angel. Great teenage love affair all angsty and broody and one perfect moment of happiness and bam, here’s our good old pal, Angelus. I can see that would be upsetting seeing him die.”

“It was,” she whispered.

“So did you ever stop to think how I felt?”

Buffy wriggled round until she was kneeling, facing him. “You hated Angel.”

Spike sighed, his dark sapphire eyes shadowed. “Sweetheart, he was my grandsire. The head of my little family for more years than I care to remember. I fought him because I was young and silly, but he taught me to be a vampire. He was my role model, father figure, you name it, Angel was it. Of course I hated the great poof. He loathed me. Always figured he wanted Dru and Darla all for himself, then I came along and spoilt his little threesome. But whatever he was to me, it was real and seeing him go like that hurt me, too.”

“But it wasn’t our Angel,” Buffy said hurriedly, hating to see Spike miserable.

“I think those are my words.”

Buffy bit her lip and slipped her arms round Spike’s neck and let him hold her tight.

“So what else is bugging you, pet?” the vampire asked at last. “This mood has been coming on for days. It isn’t just Angel torturing XanT and CordyT proving to be a first class bitch.”

There was silence for a while. The leaves above their heads rustled in the breeze but the shadow was still deep enough to keep Spike safe.

“Do you realise we both talk about ‘our’ Angel, and ‘our’ Sunnydale, as if they were the real ones and this world isn’t. Is all of this slipping away from us?” she said eventually, airing her deepest fears, safe in his arms, knowing that once there, nothing could hurt her.

Spike nodded. “I’ve realised that, too. I think - ”

He stopped and she nudged him to continue.

“I think you can’t live fully in two worlds at the same time. Whatever the magic was that Willow used to make the portal, it’s fading. We can either be there or here, but I don’t believe we can go backwards and forwards between the two Sunnydales any more.”

‘Are you saying we’ve got to close the portal?”

Spike traced his fingertip over her lips. He loved their shape, the soft fullness of her lower lip, the moist inside. He’d seen them bruised, smeared with his come, slack with passion, taut with desire. He would never tire of her mouth if he lived for another hundred years.

‘I don’t think I’d know how to close it, but I think maybe we’ve got to choose which Sunnydale to live in and stick to it.”

Buffy fell silent, feeling tears well up in her eyes.

‘You’ve already chosen, haven’t you?” Spike said heavily. “You want to go back. We won’t be married, you’ll be going out with soldier boy and I’ll just be the annoying vampire who lives in the crypt. Why, Buffy? Is life here with me so bad?”

“No, it isn’t bad at all,” she whispered, twisting one of his platinum curls round and round her finger. “But Spike, it isn’t real. I’m the Slayer, you’re a vampire. How can we love each other? It’s all magic. Smoke and mirrors. You know that as soon as we go back, you’ll go back to hating me, and I’ll go back to - ”

“Despising me?”

“No! I’ve never despised you. Loathed you, perhaps. But whatever I feel, it won’t be love. It could never be love, Spike. You haven’t got a soul. For some reason I can forget that here, but I can’t when I’m home. I won’t when I’m home!”

“Won’t sounds more truthful.”

Buffy pulled herself out of his arms and jumped up. She knew if she allowed him to go on holding her, she’d give in, agree to whatever he wanted. And that would be wrong.

“I’m sorry, William. Truly, I am. But I just want - ”

Spike stood up and leant against the tree trunk in the deepest shade. “What do you want, Slayer?” he asked wearily.

“I want a chance!” she snapped. “A chance to live a normal life, like a normal girl. I know I’ll always be the Slayer, but I can be normal, too. ”

Spike stared at her face, at the despair and the determination etched there. He could see all the different Buyffys so clearly; the little girl whose father had walked out on her, the one whose boyfriends all left, who would spend years searching for some perfect way of life, not ever realising that it was there for her, all the time, right under her nose.

“So we go back. Decision made. And what happens here, do you reckon?”

Buffy stared at him. She’d wanted him to agree, of course she had, so why was she feeling upset and irritated that he’d given in so quickly? What about all his protestations of eternal love? Perhaps they’d been just words, after all.

“I think if we go back and seal the portal, it’ll be as if I’ve died, nor never existed. Another Slayer will be called in my place.“

“Faith?”

Buffy shrugged. “We don’t know there is a Faith in this world. Or if there is, she doesn’t have to be a Slayer. For all we know, she might be serving hamburgers in the local Double Meat Palace.”

Spike laughed. “Oh yes, I can just see a Slayer doing that!” He held out his hand and Buffy took it. “OK, Slayer. Back to town we go. Back to the portal, and then home.”

He tugged her hand and she flew forward into his arms. He bent his head and kissed her, long and deep, holding her so tightly that any normal girl would have squealed for mercy as her ribs cracked.

“That’s one for our memory banks,” he said as he raised his head and stared down at crushed pink lips and blurred green eyes. “And every time someone kisses you in the future, whoever and wherever you are, deep in your blood, you’ll remember this day.”


For a second he flared into game face and Buffy stepped back, startled. Then in a flash he was back to normal. “You’ve got your opinions and I think you’re wrong, luv. Bloody hell, I know you’re wrong, but I also know it’s useless trying to convince you.”

“Spike - ”

“Hush up, pet. Let me have my say, then we’ll be done. We‘re going home. I agree. But we’re still married, Buffy.  And nothing, not all the magic in both universes, can alter that. Whatever the future brings for both of us - you, Buffy Summers, will always be my wife.”

The End

Hope you all enjoyed this story. I loved writing it. Be glad of your views. I’ve found all your reviews over the weeks stimulating, interesting and very encouraging. Many thanks to all of you who’ve stuck by me on this journey.