Menorahs & Mistletoe

By: Larilyn

Rating: PG-13

Timeline: Takes place after the Buffy ep "As You Were," and the Angel ep "Loyalty". "Hell's Bells" and "Sleep Tight" and every thing after haven't happened and won't happen in this little fic-verse. Sequel to Moonlight & Mohra and Twilight & Temptation.

Disclaimer: Buffy belongs to Mutant Enemy and UPN, blah, blah, blah. Angel belongs to Mutant Enemy and the WB, yada, yada, yada. Its Joss's toy box; I'm just raiding it for fun.

Summary: Sequel to "Twilight & Temptation." Inspired by Anya’s comment about Santa Claus in "The Body"

Notes: If you haven’t read Moonlight or Twilight, here’s a quick recap. Spike is human now and all is well. See? Easy to follow. Seriously, it makes more sense if you’ve read the whole series.

Menorahs & Mistletoe

"Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring not even a mouse…" Anya looked up from the book at Buffy and Xander and declared, "That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. A mouse wouldn’t know that its Christmas, and even if it did it wouldn’t care. Besides the fact that mice are primarily nocturnal, so night before Christmas or not, they would definitely be stirring."

Xander reached into the bowl of Chex mix on Buffy’s coffee table and explained, "Its just a story, An."

"Well its a flawed story."

Buffy looked sympathetically at her friend. She didn’t envy Xander having to explain anything to Anya. "Saved by the bell." She told him when the front door rang.

Buffy swung open the door. Tara and Willow stood there, loaded with gifts for the gang.

"Here, let me help you, Will." Xander took the boxes from Willow and put them under the tree.

"This is for you, Buffy." Tara said as she handed Buffy a large log.

"Its a big stick with berries and cinnamon sticks on it." Buffy said, trying to sound thrilled.

"Its a Yule log," explained Tara.

"Its lovely. I’ll just put it… uh…" Buffy glanced desperately at Willow who mouthed, ‘in the fireplace’. "In the fireplace!"

Tara instructed, "Burn it till its gone. It represents the rebirth of the Sun God."

"Groovy. And I see you brought your Menorah, Will."

Willow clutched the brass object, "Yeah. I’ve embraced most of the Wiccan Sabbats, but…old habits and all." For the first time since arriving, Willow glanced around the decorated front hall. "Oh Buffy! The house looks so pretty!"

Buffy puffed up with pride, "I made the garland myself." She indicated the evergreen and poinsettias wrapped around the staircase. "I saw it on Christopher Lowell."

As Willow and Tara entered the front room, Willow exclaimed, "Oh the swag! Oh honey look at the swag over the window."

Tara nodded in appreciation and said, "I saw something like that on Trading Spaces."

"That’s where Buffy got the idea," Dawn piped up from her perch on the couch.

Anya pointed to the log that was functioning as a candle holder on the coffee table, "Did you get the idea for this from Trading Spaces too?"

"Yeah, isn’t it cool?"

"I think I saw that episode. Wasn’t it Frank?"

Willow rubbed her girlfriend’s arm and corrected, "No honey, I think it was Genevieve."

Anya disagreed, "Hildy."

Dawn stuck her tongue out and contested, "Oh my God, Hildy would never do anything that rustic. Had to have been Vern."

Buffy pondered, "I don’t know, I think it was Laurie."

A masculine voice interrupted, "It was Doug."

The five females swung their heads to gape incredulously at Xander. Clearly disgusted with himself, he asked, "I really need some guy friends. Where’s Spike?""

Buffy informed him, "Helping Faith cook dinner."

As Xander fled toward the kitchen he mumbled, "Really, really need some guy friends."

***

Spike stirred the gravy with a flourish, "Gravy is lump free."

Faith glanced around the kitchen and took stock, "Turkey is basted, potatoes are mashed, stuffing is stuffed. Five by five."

"Smells good," the ex-vampire said.

"I can’t believe how much I’m enjoying this. I’ve never cooked anything more complicated than mac and cheese before. I hope it tastes okay."

"As long as it tastes better than Buffy’s cooking."

Faith smiled at Spike and agreed, "Domestic goddess, she is not."

Spike picked up one of the pies on the counter, "Pies look good."

"Anya made them."

Spike immediately put the pie down and backed away, "What’s in them?"

"Pumpkin?"

Spike explained to the Slayer, "Anya has a tendency to improvise… with bugs."

"Bugs?"

He nodded, "Bugs."

Both Faith and Spike picked up a pie and began studying them in the light.

As Xander walked into the kitchen he assured, "Relax guys, I watched her bake them. They’re safe."

Faith held the electric knife in her hand, preparing to carve the turkey.

"What is she doing?" an appalled Xander asked. Spike and Faith looked at him with confusion. "A girl cannot carve the turkey! That’s a guy job!"

Faith scoffed, "I think I can handle it."

"It goes against everything sacred and holy! Give me the knife!"

Faith turned it on and let the knife vibrate.

"Or not." Xander said as he backed up a few paces.

Tara and Anya followed their noses into the kitchen.

"Goddess," Tara breathed, "I’m starved."

"Did you see my pies?" Anya asked proudly. "I made pies."

The kitchen became crowded when Willow and the Summers sisters also came in.

"Oh yum." Buffy moaned as she snuck a taste of gravy.

"Hey! Out of there." Spike scolded.

Willow glanced around, looking for Buffy and Spike’s employee at Angel Investigations, "Where’s Jonathan?"

Dawn explained, "He’s having Christmas dinner with his parents."

The gang all looked at each other in disbelief until Faith broke the silence with, "To each his own, lets chow."

***

Buffy stood in the living room, looking out the window, her stomach stuffed to the point of discomfort. The rest of the gang still lingered in the dining room, laughing over dinner.

Strong warm arms wrapped around her waist. Her love sing-songed quietly, "Someone is under the mistletoe."

Buffy tilted her head back to bestow a soft kiss on Spike’s lips. "Mmm," she murmured. Laughter rang out again from the dining room, "Listen to that."

"S’wonderful," Spike admitted. After a few beats he told her, "Anya’s about to serve the pie."

Buffy snickered, "Is it safe?"

Her lover chuckled as he led her back into the dining room.

***

Willow whooped as she tore open the package, "It’s A Charlie Brown Christmas on DVD! Xander I love it!" The entire gang had congregated around the tree to open presents, "Every year, Xander and I watch this together. And then he does the Snoopy dance for me."

Spike cocked his eyebrow, "Snoopy dance? What exactly does this Snoopy dance look like, Xander?"

"Show em Xander!" Willow bubbled.

Faith joined the teasing, "Yeah Xander, show us."

Dawn began to chant, "Snoopy dance. Snoopy dance. Snoopy dance."

Soon the whole group was chanting enthusiastically. Xander protested, "I can’t do it without music!"

Buffy started humming the Peanuts theme. Each friend joined her, singing goofily until Xander gave up and began to dance, nose pointing to the sky and feet flailing wildly.

When he stopped, Spike teased, "Cor, that was Byoo-tee-ful."

"All right, all right," Xander begged, "Can we please move on?"

Dawn chirped, "I have something." She handed out small boxes, beautifully wrapped, to each of them.

"Oh Dawnie!" Buffy gasped as she pulled out the ornament from the box. It was decorated with pictures of poinsettias and her name was written on it.

"So pretty." Willow gasped as she pulled out her ornament, decorated with snowflakes.

"Did you make these honey?" asked Tara as she admired her holly ornament.

"Mmm hmm. I decoupaged Styrofoam balls and then wrote our names on them with glitter pens."

"Candy canes," smiled Spike as he twirled his around. "Does this mean you think I’m sweet?"

Buffy answered for her sister, "You’re the sweetest, honey."

"Well I’m definitely no angel," laughed Faith while cradling the cherub covered gift in her hands.

"But Xander is a teddy bear." Anya pulled her ornament from the box and yelped, "Santa Claus!"

Dawn giggled. "Couldn’t resist."

"Santa Claus is not something we joke about!" Anya declared.

"Why?" Faith asked, "What’s up with Santa Claus?"

"Demon." Buffy said nonchalantly.

"Here Anya," Dawn handed her another ornament. "This is your real one."

Christmas stars covered the ball and Anya’s name was lettered gracefully in blue. "Oh." Anya smiled. "Mine’s the prettiest one. Thank you Dawn."

Dawn explained, "We’ll all hang them on our tree every year. A friend of mine does it every year with her family."

They all looked around and smiled. Willow leaned her head on Tara’s shoulder. Xander pulled Anya down to sit in his lap.

As Spike wrapped his arms around Buffy he said, "And its perfect for our family too, Lil Bit."

***

Xander helped Anya into her coat as she advised, "Be sure to leave out milk and cookies for Santa."

Buffy questioned, "Why would we want to leave out milk and cookies for a child eating demon?"

"The milk is a deterrent. Santa is lactose intolerant. Only higher level demons know that."

***

Anya watched Xander sleep peacefully in the sleeping bag on their deck. She couldn’t sleep. She wanted to go back in the house and sleep in their bed, but she understood tradition and respected it. "Xander? I can’t sleep. Xander? What did you get me for Christmas? I’m especially interested in the little blue box. It looks like it could be jewelry. Is it a bracelet? A necklace?"

He didn’t move. Anya sighed and glanced around. Then she saw it. The sleigh landed on the roof of the house next door. Loudly.

"Crap." She breathed. "Well they got the ‘arose such a clatter part right’. Xander!" Anya shook her husband. "Call Buffy."

"Okay Honey," he mumbled.

As Anya took off for the house next door, Xander rolled over and went back to sleep.

***

"G’night guys," Dawn called out as she ascended the stairs.

"Night Nibblet," Spike answered.

Buffy and Spike cuddled on the couch in front of the tree. Spike nuzzled Buffy’s neck until Faith walked through the room announcing, "The dishes are done and so am I."

"What?" Buffy asked, "No Christmas hoot a nanny?"

"Not for this girl. To pooped to party." She also went upstairs to her room.

Spike whispered in Buffy’s ear, "Alone at last."

"This definitely rates four stars on the romance-o-meter."

"I know a way to improve upon it." He bragged.

Buffy turned in his arms, "Yeah?" With that, Spike’s features changed. She sighed, knowing that a vision was going to ruin their romantic evening. "Okay, that wasn’t what I had in mind."

His face smoothed out and he hopped up off the couch explaining, "Anya’s in trouble." He called up the stairs, "Faith! Get your ass out of bed."

***

The snarling demon charged Anya again. She tossed a wrapped package at him.

She yelled over to the boy who stood in the middle of the room, practically catatonic, "Little boy, go hide behind the table."

Anya then got her first look at the plate of cookies and can of soda sitting on the table. "You served him Coke?" She asked incredulously as she hurled another package at Santa, "Milk! Cookies and milk! Have you no respect for tradition? You deserve to be eviscerated!"

With this, the boy burst into hysterical tears.

"Don’t cry little boy! I don’t have time to comfort you, I’m busy."

Buffy burst through the front door, ax in hand. She chopped Santa’s head off with one blow.

"Well its about freaking time!" Anya screamed.

Santa’s head then floated back onto his body and he came at Buffy.

Anya continued to barrage him with presents. It seemed to have more effect than the ax.

"Uh, how do we kill him?" Buffy asked.

"Milk!" Anya yelled.

A commotion on the staircase made the two blondes look up. The boy’s parents came hurtling down the stairs. His father asked, "What the hell is going on?"

The woman said, "Maybe we should call the Police."

"No need." Buffy assured. "We have everything under…" A red and white striped box bounced off of Santa’s nose. "control." Buffy grabbed the hand of the child and dragged him with her into the kitchen. His parents followed, still chattering away.

She emerged alone, carrying a half gallon container of milk in a paper carton. Since she had a handle on things, Buffy handed the milk to Anya, who threw it on the demon.

He melted away, leaving a pile of goo on the floor.

"Huh." Buffy said, "Its like the Wicked Witch and water."

Anya breathed a sigh of relief, "That was fun. I see why you enjoy this so much."

"Sure, fun. Riiight." Buffy picked up her ax and flipped it in her hands. "Call Tara. She’s going to have to do some mojo on that family. I’m going outside to help Spike and Faith with the eight not so tiny reindeer."

"Buffy? The ax?" Anya shook her head. She went over to the plate of cookies and handed it to Buffy. "These’ll work better."

***

"Well this is a first." Complained Tara as she got out of her car. "I’ve never been dragged out of bed on Christmas to perform a forgetting spell before. I swore I’d never do one of these."

"Well," drawled Spike, "We could leave the kid’s memories intact. May scar him for life but…"

"Yeah, yeah. Point taken. I’ll do it."

"Where’s Willow?" asked Buffy.

"Sleeping the sleep of the blissfully ignorant. I’ll fill her in tomorrow. Where’s the kid?" As she walked up to the front door, she patted her pockets.

"Kid and parents are in the kitchen." Buffy said.

"What’re you doing?" Spike asked.

"Checking to make sure I’m carrying ID." Tara held up her wallet and smiled before entering the house.

"Did I miss something?" Faith asked, quite confused by Tara’s comments.

"Long story." To Anya, Buffy asked, "You okay?"

"Not a scratch." The ex-demon assured her. "Santa Claus. Freaking, stinking Santa Claus. I hate Santa Claus. I’m going to have nightmares for weeks."

Spike piped up, "Look on the bright side. At least it wasn’t the Easter Bunny."

***

Tara climbed back into bed with Willow, who was still sleeping soundly. She glanced at the clock, it was well past midnight.

In the redhead’s ear, Tara whispered, "Merry Christmas baby."

***

Faith trucked up the stairs, declaring, "I’m going to try this bed thing again."

"I’m right behind you." When Buffy’s foot hit the first step Spike picked her up and carried her back into the living room.

"We’re gonna finish what we started, luv."

"All right," Buffy conceded, "but if I fall asleep, I don’t want to hear any grief."

Spike turned off all of the lights, leaving only the glowing tree to illuminate the room.

She snuggled up against him, "On a scale of one to ten, this gets a two thousand."

Spike nuzzled her neck and then pointed at the tree. "What’s that?"

"What’s what?" asked Buffy, searching the tree for whatever Spike saw.

"Next to the ornament Dawnie made you."

Buffy stood and went over to the tree. Hanging on a branch by a red ribbon was a diamond engagement ring.

***

Anya regarded her sleeping husband thoughtfully.

"Stupid tradition." She muttered as she crawled into her sleeping bag. "But traditions are traditions." She looked at him again and then took her pillow and whacked him with it repeatedly, yelling, "And this one is STUPID."

End