Chapter Eleven - Reward
 

Buffy watches Spike run out of the cavern and wants desperately to stop him, but part of her is still held up in the shock of what she's seen. He beat that massive monster to a pulp. He slaughtered all those disgusting little minions. The anger on his face was unlike anything she'd ever seen before. It wasn't the act that shocked her so much as the anger, and she seriously wondered how much of it she was responsible for. And there was nothing 'evil' in what he did. It was a mixture of protection and payback.

"He... he saved me." Dawn whispers, tears streaming down her face.

"He saved us all," Clem adds quietly, feeling so sad for his best friend. Never had he seen quite so much pain unleashed or so much bloodshed.

"Buffy, it wasn't how it looks. He wasn't being evil. He was protecting us." Willow's heart is broken for Spike.

"He took out all those creeps because they hurt Dawnie... and god he made mincemeat out of that Gromolak. He really was dishing some payback." Everyone turns to Xander, surprised by his statement. "Somebody should go get him. He must be freaked."

"He thinks he's a monster, but he's not." Dawns insists.

Everyone turns to Buffy, wondering what might be going through her mind after all she's seen and all he's done. Although it was pretty plain to everyone that Spike was dishing out some much deserved comeuppance on a very convenient target, and saving the whole town in the process and maybe more, what was Buffy's reaction to it all?

"He's not a monster at all. I'll go get him." Buffy says and takes off towards the tunnel Spike disappeared through.

"We'll all go," Giles says as Buffy ducks through the low opening, and he grabs Katherine's hand, guiding her along. The others all follow closely behind.

When Buffy reaches street level she shivers. She looks up to see the clouds swirling and churning with such intensity.

"It looks like the weather's about to let loose. We might want to get inside... no doubt there'll be some rather torrential rainfall after all this, to clear the air so to speak, wash away all that's happened."

"Hey, I wonder if the toads are still evil?" Xander asks.

"Wouldn't think so," Willow answers, "The elements should return to normal now. I mean, are you still picking up the Juicy Fruit aroma?"

Xander sniffs the air experimentally. "Actually, now you mention it, that's gone."

"Ahh, no more orchids." Anya pouts.

"Buffy, look." Giles points down the road towards the alley that leads behind the Sunnydale Storage Yard. She sees him then, the back of his blue shirt reasonably blood free. He's walking at quite a pace away from them.

She takes off at a run towards him, leaving the others behind to watch the scenes unfold.

"Oh, honey, I hope they can work this out." Tara says as she threads her arm through Willow's.

"They will, baby. They will."

Clem would really like to go and see his buddy. He feels really badly for him, but somehow he thinks that perhaps the Slayer's company is the best thing for him at this moment. He turns to Dawn then, the only one of the Scoobies he hasn't officially met and gives her a smile and a gentle pat on the shoulder.

"Spike's gonna be ok. He's so strong. Hey, you know, he talks about you all the time."

"H-he does? He's the coolest." Dawn wipes her tears away. "Are you a friend of his?"

"Only his best friend! But uh, I actually think I might share that spot with you. My name's Clem."

"Dawn... hey Clem?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for being his friend. He really needs a good one. And I think he's really lucky to have you."

Just then the clouds let loose and the heavens pour out on top of them. 

"Let's get inside," Giles tells the others, "there's nothing more for us to do out here."

"But what about Buffy and Spike?" Dawn asks, concerned for them both.

Giles looks down the street and sees that Buffy's just about to catch up to her vampire.

"They'll be just fine. They'll find shelter, now come on. Last one in makes the tea!" he says as he takes off for the Magic Box with Katherine.

Anya just happens to be the last one to start running.

"I'm not a tea drinker! I'm exempt! I drink coffee!! You hear me Giles!? Coffee!! Xander!! Wait up!!"

Spike slows down as he reaches the alley, sensing that she's behind him. Fuck. 

"Go on, Slayer, may as well head back with the Superfriends, yeah? Weather's about to get pretty bad from what I can tell."

"Spike, where are you going?" she asks as she stops a few feet away, put off by the fact he won't turn around to talk to her.

Why can't she just leave me alone? Got no business comin' after a monster like me. "Just gonna take my things and go. Got places to be you know." The clouds open up and the rain lashes down on them, and as he looks at the ground before him he notices a little trickle of deep red tinted water begin to pool around his boots. He gathers very quickly that it's coming off his clothes and figures the Slayer must be rightly disgusted if she can see it too. "Places I might fit in a bit better," he mutters as he takes off again down the road.

"Spike, wait!" Buffy yells as he turns into the next alley. She distinctly hears him curse, 'Fuck!' Must be a dead end.

He turns around, trapped. "Go home, Slayer! You'll catch your death out here."

"Then I'll catch my death. But I'm not leaving without you," she says as she walks towards him cautiously, frightened he might bolt. Buffy notices that the rain is steadfastly washing the blood away from his face and body. It's as if he's being cleansed, literally, before her. At that moment she's struck with sheer awe by the power of the scene.

Spike stands there, contemplating her expressions. She's looking at him in a daze of sorts. "Don't you understand? What do you want from me? Don't you see what I am?"

"I see exactly what you are..." she says as she takes a step toward him.

"And what's that?" 

She stops and and folds her arms, quirking an eyebrow. She could throw out many an insult at this very moment. She could tell him he's a pain in the arse for making her stand in the rain, an idiot for taking off without her to search for Dawn, a dolt for thinking she'd hate him, to name a few, but she figures the next few moments will be crucial in making him stay or go. And she's putting all her eggs in the staying basket right now, because she wants him more than she ever wanted anything else in her whole life.

She takes another step towards him, forcing him to back up further, only he can't. He's now backed right up against a chain link fence. "Would you really like to know?"

Well, this is a turn-up. Spike shoots her a questioning glare. Might as well let her get it off her chest. "Yeah, tell me. Get it all out Slayer, you know you wanna."

There's a touch of the old Spike in his words, the Spike she met in the alley all those months ago when she needed to know how he defeated those two Slayers. Hearing his confident reply, however brief and put on it is, sends shivers down her spine. She also notes that the rain is doing wonderful things, such as drenching his hair, causing bleached curls to cascade down his forehead. Reminds her of the time she watched him in the shower, only now his hair is a little longer. Also, his shirt is clinging to his skin, giving her a view of all the wonderful ridges of his torso. She takes a step closer to him. "You are... Not disgusting. Not a thing. Not evil."

"What?? Come again??"

"You heard me," she takes another step forward and reaches a hand out, rests it against his shoulder. Totally surprises him then when she thumps him on the chest with her other hand, "What do I have to do, Spike?" Another thump on the chest, "I've tried everything." she grabs his other shoulder then and pulls herself closer. 

Spike looks down at her then, no longer sure of anything, wondering at the emotion he's afraid to acknowledge in her eyes. "I don't know what you mean, you don't make any sense anymore, Slayer."

She gives him a shake. "Buffy. Call me Buffy, like you did before."

Can't. Hurts. Know where I stand with a Slayer.

She presses herself against him then and closes her eyes when she feels the way his body is reacting to the contact. "Spike, I know you're not a monster. I've been trying so hard to tell you that. I mean, I took you out to the beach to try and show you that I've changed... I needed you to see me, really see me... see who I am now."

"I do see you Slayer, always have." He looks down at Buffy and his heart aches at the sight of her. The rain is pelting down on them, drenching them, and yet she looks so beautiful. Her eyelids are fluttering with the raindrops and she's doing her very best not to shiver, and the way she's looking at him makes him want to scoop her up and take her to shelter, and then lie her down and love her.

Her hands travel down to his chest and she grasps his blood-soaked shirt and then her mouth is so close to his, and as he looks down at her, the raindrops drip off his nose and into her open, sensuous smile. She grins a most wicked grin and laps at the drips of water as they land on her lips like they're the most delicious little drops, because they taste like him. The sight of her doing this is incredibly arousing, and he tries to push her away a little. Wants to run. Wants to stay.

Buffy resists and pulls herself even closer, if that's possible, and shivers a little, the wind and the rain giving her a chill. 

"Slayer, you need to get inside. You're shivering. Look, I'm just gonna head away, alright? Better for all of us."

"No." she grasps his shirt tighter, digging her fingers into his flesh and he feels totally locked in place by her steely slayer strength. "You're not leaving. You're gonna stay right here and listen to me."

Spike shakes his head, has to make her see that she's wasting her time worrying about him. "I failed, dammit! I missed the bloody mark! I let Dawn get hurt... couldn't protect her like I promised." He wants to push her away, but before he can say another word she stuns him back to silence as she places a finger gently over his mouth. When he feels her finger on his lips his hands fly out to his sides and he grasps the chain link fence for dear unlife. Her soft touch makes him groan and he curses himself for giving in, just a little, like this.

"No, you didn't fail. You did everything you could. You were there for us, and you tried, and you fought, and Dawn and I were so scared we'd lost you... and look how you protected her again tonight. All of us. You saved us all."

Buffy stares at her finger resting against his lips and then looks up into his eyes again... oh those eyes, those gorgeous oceans of blue... which, even in the darkness, seem to tell her everything she needs to know. Oh, he loves her alright. He never stopped.

Spike closes his eyes, doesn't want to give himself away. Mustn't let her see that despite everything, he loves her with such intensity that he thinks he would burn to ashes if it wasn't for the cooling rain. Then he feels her move her finger away, and suddenly her hand is resting on his cheek and he can't stand it anymore, has to look at her again, because there's just no way this can be real. Has to see for himself. 

"Spike, I need you. I don't want you to leave."

"Have to, pet. Nothing here for me anymore." Please don't stop touching me.

"You're so wrong. Can't you see? Spike, I want you to stay. Here..." she lets go of his shirt and places her hand on his other cheek. "... with me."

The rain cascades over them in sheets now, but despite this, Spike thinks he's never seen anyone so beautiful in all his existance. She glows as she touches him and radiates such warmth, and genuine delight at being there with him. And still, he can't quite believe what's she's said.

"What are you saying? Slayer?" He takes a chance then with the heartache, "Buffy?"

See? That wasn't so hard. She reaches down and unclasps his hand from the fence and places his palm on her cheek, presses herself into his touch, wanting him to feel her, that what she's saying is real. Then she pulls away slightly and presses her hand into his, entwines his fingers with her own. 

"I really don't want to be any place, unless you're there with me. Nothing would be right if you were gone." The next thing she whispers, "I'd be so lost without you."

"Buffy..." he whispers, desperate to believe her. "You really mean it?"

She nods, trying to hold back tears, but then...

Spike can't believe his eyes. She's crying. She's leaning against him now, shivering and crying, and very cautiously he finally starts to believe. She really does care for him. Buffy Summers, the Slayer, cares for him. And his shattered heart slowly begins to mend. He looks down and sees that she's leaning against the bloody shirt, and that just won't do.

"Pet, let me take this off, it's full of blood, and we can't have you covered in demon blood, now can we?" he pushes her away slightly and lets go of her hand, then yanks the shirt open, sending the buttons flying; lets it fall to the ground.

Buffy shivers all the more at the loss of contact, but her breath catches in her throat at the sight of him. He's the most beautiful creature she's ever seen. "But your shirt?"

"I'll get a new one. C'mon, let's get you out of the cold and rain, alright?"

She nods, her teeth starting to chatter, her body beginning to tremble uncontrollably... and then Spike does a wonderful thing. He scoops her up into his arms in one fluid motion, and she cannot hide the brilliant smile at being carried away by her hero. She rests her head against his shoulder, snuggles her forehead right up against his neck and strokes her fingers along his collarbone as he walks away with her, seeking shelter. 

He doesn't run, just walks, keeping her close to his body, making sure the duster protects her from the rain, and tries various doors here and there, looking for a place they can rest till the rain subsides. 

Giles peels off his drenched jacket, only to find he's equally drenched underneath. Katherine walks into his office, bringing him a lovely steaming cup of tea and a hand towel so he can dry his hair at least. Thank goodness Janice and her mother quickly left once the spell was broken. He doesn't feel like dealing with anyone save the people he considers to be 'his' people.

"Do you have another shirt here?" she asks.

"I think I might, actually, if you check the third drawer down in the desk, the deep one," he answers as he swipes the towel over his head. He watches her move, notices that she's also totally soaked, but it doesn't matter, because she's so lovely. He smiles at her as she takes the crisp new shirt out of the wrapper and picks out the little pins. Being with her feels so natural, so right...

"I think Buffy keeps some clean workout sweats in the training room if you want to get out of those wet clothes."

"Oh, I think I should head away. I must look absolutely awful. A real drowned rat."

"I... I think you look absolutely beautiful, Katherine. Please don't leave..." 

Katherine blushes; doesn't know what to say, has a million things to say as well. "Alright..." she steps closer to him as he undoes the buttons of his shirt. She unbottons the new shirt and gives it a bit of a shake and then looks at him, barechested in front of her. This man she thought she couldn't get to know better because of what she is, this man who turns out to be so accepting of her, so welcoming, so warm... is also so handsome, so perfect in her eyes. She hands him the shirt, and takes the wet one from him, draping it over one of the wooden chairs.

He starts to button up the new one, watching her as she moves back towards him, and he smiles a wonderful smile for her as she puts her hands over his to stop him. Without saying a word, she carries on doing up the buttons for him, smiling, and Giles threads a hand up between them then to rest his palm on her cheek.

"Thank you Katherine... for everything."

She decides to tell him how welcome he is with a kiss. A kiss they both hope will be one of many...

"Spike?" Buffy says as she nuzzles his throat.

"Yeah?" He tries another door... locked.

"I'm so sorry I hurt you... Please forgive me?"

He stops dead in his tracks and looks down at her. "It's not you who needs forgiving, pet, it's me. Sorry for a lot of things, I am."

"No, not at all... forgive me Spike, please? My god," she sighs, "I knew exactly how you must have felt when I had Willow de-invite you from the house. I can't believe I had myself de-invited from your crypt. I was so stupid... but it hurt not being able to just see you whenever I felt like it. Oh I was so awful to you..."

She didn't just stay away? She was de-invited? Oh, luv...

He looks into her eyes that seem to shine all for him, "Shhhush now, let's just get out of this rain, ok?" He starts to walk again, noticing that they're quite close to the Magic Box. He could be a gentleman and take her there. Let her be with her friends. But he wants to be alone with her now. He needs to have her with him, to show her that she's his everything.

Buffy turns and whispers in his ear, "You're not beneath me, you never were," and kisses the soft flesh just below it.

Feeling her hot mouth on his flesh causes Spike to let loose a little moan, yet he carries on walking. Buffy grins wickedly when she hears it and places two more feather kisses there and one more on the outline of his jaw.

Spike stops again and turns to look at her. "Am I gonna wake up in a few minutes in that warehouse again? 'Cause I don't think I could bare it if this was just a dream."

"Neither could I." Buffy looks at his wonderful mouth and just has to taste him. It's been so long. She couldn't care less about the rain. He's holding her so close and looking at her with so much love in his eyes. If this is a dream, she never wants to wake up. Ever so softly she brushes her lips against his, looking into his eyes the whole time. He lets her kiss him, watches as she starts to smile between the little kisses, and gently he starts to kiss her back... soft little nibbles at her beautiful mouth, teasing tugs at her bottom lip, just like he remembers doing so long ago.

They tease each other like this, looking into each other's eyes until it's no longer enough and Buffy grabs his face eagerly with one hand, pressing a harder, longer kiss on his wondrous mouth.

Spike groans, opening up to her, feeling her tongue slide in and caress his. Oh, this is part of what he's been dreaming about. This is what he's thought about so long since Red's spell. He never stopped wanting her. Desire for her was always there, no matter how hard he may have tried to hide it. 

She breaks away for a moment, "Spike, put me down," then covers his mouth again with hers as he gently lowers her to her feet, never losing contact. They stand there, kissing so passionately, the rain beating down on them, the wind now howling around them, and they seem oblivious to everything but each other. 

A crack of lightning jolts them out of their bliss and Spike pulls her close again, and he's not sure why he's about to says this, but he does... "Buffy we need to get inside, luv. The Magic Box is just around the corner, if you want to go back with the others."

She quirks an eyebrow as if to say, you must be joking, "Tell me you didn't mean that."

"I sure as hell didn't, but thought I should give you one last out... because there's no going back after this," he says as he rests his forehead against hers.

"No going back," she agrees, and closing her eyes, she delicately caresses his gorgeous face with her own, causing him to moan in such a delightful way.

Another flash of lightning. "C'mon Buffy..." Spike takes her hand and they start to run towards the next alley, hoping for a shop that they can get into. 

Lightning flashes and strikes an abandoned car at the end of the alley, forcing them to duck in near a pile of crates. Spike tries one door, and then another, and finally finds one unlocked. Together they run in and Buffy slams the door behind them, panting her relief that they're out of the storm.

There's only very dim light in the place, but they can see that they're in a storeroom. There's boxes of furniture everywhere. Spike tries the door to the showroom, and is delighted to find it also unlocked. They rush in and Buffy finds baskets with throw blankets and cushions, and she thanks the gods of happy endings that it's a furniture store they've come upon and not an abandoned old house, 'cause she saw that in a show once and it looked kinda painful, plus, vampire and wood splinters are so non-mixy!

Spike stands behind her and watches as she rummages through the basket and wonders how things could have possibly gone from so dire to so wonderful in so short a space of time. 

Buffy picks out a very soft midnight blue blanket and turns to look at Spike. He's smiling so warmly at her, almost the way he was in the dream, and she wonders how she could fall any more deeply in love with him, but she does. Suddenly a beautiful fragrance wafts up from the left lapel of the duster, and she remembers what she wants to give him.

"Spike, sit down for a minute... over there," she points to a really large bed up against the back wall of the showroom. "I have something for you. But you have to close your eyes."

He gives her a questioning look, but walks over to sits at the edge of the bed anyway. "Don't need anything else, Buffy."

"Shhh... Close your eyes for me, ok? Oh, and your nose too. And your mouth. Just... don't breathe." Oh, thank god for the small lamp in the corner... gives her just enough light to see him. She watches his bare back as he walks towards the bed and her mouth waters. He's so gorgeous. The wounds from the arrows have already begun to heal and she thinks she'd like to kiss them all better.

"Don't need to breathe, luv."

"You know what I mean."

"Right." He closes his eyes and refrains from breathing.

Buffy removes the duster and lays it down on another bed, then carefully unpins the rose from behind the lapel. It looks a little weather beaten, but still smells wonderful. She hopes like crazy that he'll love it. Laying it down on the duster, she takes off her drenched sweater, so that she's only in her tank top and jeans. She picks up the rose then and walks over to him.

"I hope this is ok, it kinda got drenched too." She lifts it up to his nose... "You can open your eyes now. I know it's kinda small, and it's probably not gonna last much longer..."

Spike opens his eyes and inhales at the same time, and he looks at her with such passion. "Buffy," he whispers and grabs hold of her wrist, steadying it... the smell of the rose alone is wonderful, but he swears he can smell something even more intoxicating. "Buffy... god, love, it's you... you're all over it." His eyes roll back in his head practically and his nostrils flare as he intensely delights in the Buffy-scented rose again. He pulls her closer so that she's standing between his knees and wraps an arm around her waist. She's giving him such an incredible gift... doing something for him that Dru never would.

Buffy rests the rose against one breast and runs her other hand through Spike's wet hair, urging him to rest his head against her. He lets go of her wrist and wraps his other arm around her, caressing her back, nuzzling his face against her wet shirt, wanting to be able to touch her skin.

"I know why you like roses Spike. I understand about the thorns..."

"You can't have anything worthwhile without pain, luv..." he says, his voice deep with desire. He makes a mental note to maybe ask her about this, later.

"Give me your hand."

He looks up at her and brings up his right hand, wondering what she'll do next...

Buffy takes the rose and places it in his palm, then covers the rose and his palm with her own. She looks deeply into his eyes as she twines her fingers with his, clenching the rose between the both of them, and they both inhale sharply as the thorns pierce their flesh.

She urges Spike to move back a little on the bed, and still sitting he shuffles back a little, then she climbs up, and placing a knee on each side of him, settles down on his lap. They press their foreheads together and both turn to look at their clasped hands. A drop of blood begins to trickle down Buffy's wrist.

"I thought I'd lost you." Buffy says as she begins to trail soft kisses all over his handsome face.

"I'm sorry, luv." he whispers, reveling in her touch.

"Don't ever do that to me again." she whispers back as she looks in his eyes, their faces nose to nose.

"Never."

Together they slowly unclasp their hands and let the rose fall to the pillow beside them.

"Promise me?" She slides herself forward in his lap.

Spike groans, "I promise."

Buffy looks at the little trickle of blood on her wrist. "Oh look... Spike, I don't have a bandaid." Her voice is light and playful, teasing, as she brings it up near his mouth.

Spike looks at her a little fearful... wonders if she understands. "Buffy, be very sure you know what you're doing. I mean, what am I to you? Do you really know?"

Buffy leans in closer and smiles, brings her hand to his mouth. "You're mine."

He sees it in her eyes. He's hers. Just like he said before he passed out in the warehouse. He's hers, and all the pain and heartache begins to wash away. He looks into her eyes as he tastes her, lapping up the trickle of blood with one long stroke of his tongue, and Buffy hisses with desire. He kisses all the little puncture marks from the thorns, letting his tongue wash over them with each kiss and Buffy sighs, wrapping her arm around his neck, grinding herself against him.

Spike lets go of her arm and grabs her bottom, pulling her against his hardness, shows her what he has for her, and only her. Buffy moans at the contact, and soon they can't get close enough. Their hands are roaming all over each other... Spike tugs her tank top out of her jeans and she pulls away from him slightly to lift it up over her head, revealing two perfect breasts, waiting to be touched. She rises up on her knees and wraps her arms around his head, drawing him in, and he rewards her by nuzzling her delicate skin.

Her hands run coarsely through his hair as he lavishes her with kisses, trailing his tongue along her left breast first, down to the rosy little bud that he's sure is one of her sweetest places. He flicks his tongue over her nipple, then swirls it around before taking it into his mouth completely, sucking deeply, causing Buffy to arch into him and moan. He smiles at her reaction, sucking harder, and she arches again, tugging at his hair and bending down to rest her cheek on the top of his head. Such exquisite torture... he's holding her prisoner with his mouth, and she's gladly taking her punishment. 

He pulls at her nipple with his lips and tongue and finally releases her, making her want to scream at the loss of contact, but soon quenches her need for him when he begins to lavish the other breast. She looks down at him, nursing so frantically at her nipple and a feeling of such intense possession washes over her. You're mine... She'll never let anyone else near him, ever.

Spike's fingers trail down to the button of her jeans as he ravages her breast, and he undoes the buttons with ease. He tugs them down a little and then looks up into her eyes. Buffy holds her breath as he releases her nipple and smiles up at her, slowly sliding his fingers beneath the soft material of her thong. When his fingertips reach the small, hard little bundle of flesh that brings so much pleasure, Buffy gasps, grinding herself onto his fingers.

"Spike..." she whispers, "god... the way you touch me..."

He slides his other hand up the back of her neck and entwines his fingers in her soft hair, drawing her down for a kiss. As their lips meet he caresses her soft, wet mound, and she mewls for him. His tongue begs entrance momentarily, and at the moment she lets him into her mouth, he slides one of his long fingers inside her aching flesh, and he catches her scream with his kiss.

"So good," she moans when she breaks away from his mouth, wishing she didn't have to breathe. She'd love him to kiss her forever. She dives for his mouth hungrily again as he slides his finger in and out of her, and bites his bottom lip as he slides in another.

"You're so wet for me, love..." he pants against her lips. "So hot. Tell me its all for me..."

"Oh, Spike, it's all for you... only you... I'm yours." She feels the wonderful tingling deep within her belly, the exquisite build up that's ready to burst all around her, but she can't let herself go yet. She needs to feel him, take him out and have him in her hands. Torture him the way he's torturing her... give him as good as she's getting.

Buffy reaches down and unbuttons his jeans, desperate to feel him, desperate to see him. She looks down as she opens them, finding it so difficult to concentrate with his fingers doing such wonderful things inside her. 

She gasps when she sees him. He's so long and hard and utterly splendid and she can't wait to wrap her fingers around him. Spike lets loose such a moan when she touches him, and he thrusts his fingers even deeper inside her, making her tip her head back and cry out. He leans back a little, making it easier for her to take him out, and soon she's looking into his eyes again as she slides her fingers up and down his gorgeous shaft. 

They lean into each other, panting, foreheads together, stealing kisses between their frenzied breaths. Spike moans louder, he knows they're both so close...

"Buffy... oh, my Buffy... I want... I want to be inside you, love... I want to come, need... need to come inside you." His voice is so deep, and needy and full of promise.

Hearing Spike say those words sends even deeper waves of passion throughout her body, and Buffy slides her fingers up and over the head of his steel hard shaft delicately before she lets go. She looks into his eyes, and sees a burning there, a need so great, a desire that matches her own. Buffy whimpers as he slips his fingers out of her body and she hurriedly tugs at his jeans. He grabs at hers as well as they stand, and each eases the other out of the last pieces of clothing.

Spike looks at her standing there, so beautiful, so hungry, glowing for him... "Buffy, you are so beautiful... you're my goddess, you know... I've never wanted anything or anyone so much in all my life."

He takes a step and she watches him closely. Watches the muscles under his cool, pale skin flex and move... move him towards her. He holds her face in his palms as he begins to kiss her so gently, with so much emotion she thinks she might cry. To think she let him go... shunned him, beat him, hurt him... it breaks her heart to think of it, and try as she might, she can't stop the tears from falling.

"Don't cry, love," he says as he pulls her close.

"But what if you'd really left? I'm so sorry."

"Buffy," he says as he lifts her into his arms, "I wouldn't have gotten far." He lies her down gently, her head resting beside the rose on the pillow, "I couldn't think of my world without you in it..." he chuckles then, "Even if you didn't really like me." He lies down beside her and runs the rose over her nipples, then down to her tummy, drawing little circles on her flesh with the petals, and she shivers.

"Don't say that. I could never admit it then, but there was something about you. Couldn't dust you..." she says as she reaches for him, drawing his mouth down to hers.

"Couldn't kill you..." Spike takes her mouth softly at first, worshipping her lips with his own. Soon they open to each other and their tongues caress and entwine, and their hands grasp at each other. Spike reaches down and runs his fingers through her soft curls and she opens her thighs as she takes his glorious erection in her hand, rubbing her thumb over the swollen head.

Spike thrusts into her hand, hissing with the pleasure of feeling her fingers surround him and he thrusts his tongue deeply into her mouth as he shifts and rises above her.

Their eyes lock as he settles down between her thighs, barely able to keep from burying himself within her at that moment.

"No going back," he whispers as he poises himself at her entrance.

"No going back," she whispers in agreement...

"I love you Buffy... I've loved you for so long..." he searches her eyes, a little unsure.

She doesn't keep him waiting.

"I love you, Spike..." she says with such unguarded emotion.

It's all he needs to hear, all he ever wanted to hear, and they both gasp forcefully as he slides in, filling her up with himself, surrounding her with his love.

One word stands out in both their minds as they join, as they make love, and that's 'Home'.

They hold each other so close as Spike begins to rock his hips; neither wants even the slightest sliver of space between them for now.

Buffy covers his face with kisses in between her gasps at the pleasure he brings her. Never before has she felt anything quite so exquisite, and this is only the beginning... 

"Love you..." she whispers between kisses.

"Always love you..." he answers, thrusting his hips a little harder, making her moan.

"You feel so good... don't want you to stop."

"Can't love, can't get enough of you..." His thrusts become faster, deeper and as he grinds his hips down further she brings her legs up around his waist. The way he moves for her, so tenderly, so perfectly, he hits her small, wonderful bundle of pleasure over and over...

Buffy clenches around him as she feels her release approach and grasps at his hair, telling him over and over how much she loves him, and needs him...

"Come with me, love... show me how much you love me," he pleads, his eyes so full of worship for his beautiful slayer.

He covers her mouth with his, thrusting his tongue so deep inside and she sucks hard on it as he pulls it out again...

"Buffy... fuck! Oh god I love you so much..." he tells her, wanting to explode inside her, give her as much of himself as he can.

"Spike... oh don't stop... god... I love you... love you... Spike... my... Spike!!" Buffy cries as she reaches the most wonderful high, grasping him so tightly to her, clamping down on his glorious shaft, wanting to feel him flood her with everything he has.

Spike watches the wonderful expressions on her face as she cries out his name. Hearing her say she loves him over and over sends him soaring over the edge, and as he feels her climax take her he howls out his own, shouting her name, driving himself into her over and over again with each wave of pleasure, filling her with everything he's got.

They cover each other's faces with kisses, worshipping each other with gentle affections as they come down from their wonderful high. Buffy runs her hands all over his back and neck, through his hair and over his face, too blown away to speak, but not to feel. Spike lavishes her with affection, makes her feel like the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth, and to him, she is.

He tries to move aside a little, so as not to squish her, but she'll have none of it. 

"Stay right here... please? Stay inside me..." she clenches around him and he grins.

"Hate the thought of leaving there, love... you're so warm and soft, and full up of me."

She giggles... "Can't let you leave... you're the missing piece, you see."

Spike smiles down at her and brushes a few of her hairs out of her face, letting her look into his eyes and see all the love he has for her. He gently rolls them over then, so that she can rest on him, and she tucks her head under his chin, planting soft kisses on his neck, and he stays buried deeply inside her.

"I love you," she tells him, her voice so light and sleepy.

"I love you, my beautiful girl," he whispers back, and he feels her smile against his skin before she falls asleep.

Spike reaches for the blue blanket and drapes it over her, covering her as best he can. He strokes her back and her lovely soft hair as she sleeps against him and reflects on all that's happened to them since the tower and before. He's gone from complete desolation to utter elation, all because of his love for this wonderful girl, his one-time mortal enemy. Looking back on it all he decides he'll gladly admit that he was finally taken down by a Slayer, and oh did she take him down in the most wonderful way.

He remembers the poems he wrote for her and wonders should he write them down again. Would she think him an awful nancy boy for writing them? He wishes he could have found them, because he'd like to give them to her, whether they're bloody awful or not. They were written for her. 

One day, he'll write them out again, for he remembers them of course... yes, one day soon he'll surprise her.

The Scoobies file out of the Magic Box just before dawn, all a little unsure of the weather, but it looks as though it's clamed down enough that they can all get home without getting drenched. The sky doesn't look anywhere near as angry as it had a few hours before. Things seem to be settling down.

"Toads are all hitting the road I see," Xander points out as he watches a group of toads hop down the sidewalk. "Not glowy eyed anymore."

"Hope they all make it back to the park without getting squished," Anya remarks.

"Hey, there weren't any dung beetles! Oh I am so glad... I think we had plenty of plagues and stuff to deal with without a bunch of poop collectors."

"As I said before, Xander, it would have been the carrion they'd have come for, not the dung." Giles mutters.

"Right... whatever. Just sayin'"

"Goodnight Xander, morning, whatever..." Giles can't wait for a bit of peace, although, having said that, he couldn't think of a better group of people with which to endure an apocalypse.

"G'night, Giles, Katherine," Willow says, giving Katherine a warm hug before they head home. 

"I'm so glad to know you Willow, and Tara... all of you," she says as she hugs them each goodnight.

"So what're you doing now Clem?" Dawn asks.

"Oh, I guess I'll head back to the lair. Somebody's gotta watch Spike's stuff. And I left my kittens there."

"Kittens?"

"Oh, yeah... umm never mind. It was sure nice meeting you all," Clem says to the group before he turns down a different street to Willow and Tara.

They all wave at their newest friend and wish him well, each thinking that Spike did good making a friend like Clem.

"Coming with us, Dawnie?" Xander asks, reaching his arm out to her.

She gladly snuggles into his embrace. "Yup... I guess Buffy and Spike are umm, busy, you know, fighting evil and whatnot." She knows very well what they're doing.

"Oh, yes, fighting evil Dawn! Evil is always there, needing... fighting! Yes! They're very busy! I'm sure." Anya tries really hard with the conversation skills. Mustn't talk about sex around Dawn. And she's totally sure Buffy and Spike are off somewhere doing it like... anything but bunnies.

They all go their separate ways, leaving Giles and Katherine holding hands just outside her shop. 

"I just want to make sure everything's locked up. Come in for a minute?"

"Yes, indeed... then I'll walk you home."

They quietly enter Katherine's furniture store and head towards the back when Katherine stops dead in her tracks.

"Oh," she whispers, then turns to Giles and gestures for him to be very quiet. He gives her a questioning look and she points to the couple spooned together under the blue blanket, on the very large bed at the back.

"Oh, dear lord..." Giles whispers, stunned.

Katherine looks at him and suppresses a giggle. "Let's go."

"Um, I guess we'll be taking that bed too," he whispers, blushing a hundred shades of red.

"Consider it a gift to them, from me."

She lets Giles out and then turns over the sign on the door to let everyone know the shop is closed today.

Buffy and Spike each crack open an eye as Giles and Katherine leave. Spike's arm tightens around Buffy's body and she feels his hand grasp her breast and knead it rhythmically, like a kitten kneading its mother's fur with its paws. 

Buffy giggles a little. "Oh my god... he didn't say anything to us."

"Watcher's a smart fellow." He kisses her shoulder and nestles into her hair.

"His friend seems so nice," she says as she reaches behind her and strokes his thigh, urging him to drape his leg over hers, giving him better access.

"The witch? Seems nice enough, alright."

Buffy settles back against him as he slips inside her and they remain perfectly still, and just enjoy the feeling of being together... a few blissful moments go by before Buffy speaks again.

"Do you think they're doing it?" she asks with a grin.

"Sure bloody hope so, luv. Watcher's gotta be able to look back on his life and say he had something steamy that wasn't a cuppa tea."

Buffy bursts out laughing and flips over tackling him down, and, remembering a certain factoid from her conversation with Angel, she tickles him mercilessly, eliciting howls and screeches of torturous laughter from her very big bad vampire. And as they wrestle and tickle each other under the blanket, delighting in the joy they bring each other, they believe with all their hearts that everything happens for a reason, and they were simply meant to be.

A/N: Well, here we are folks... we've come to the end of our story. It's been a difficult road for Spike. I've taken him through the ringer. But it was all necessary, and I think, played out very nicely for him in the end. This was all about Spike receiving just exactly what he deserved, and a few very important people in his life making amends.

Story Dedication: For Kantayra...

Rating: R

I'd like to thank so many people for their wonderful feedback. You guys kept the encouragement coming, and I can't ever thank you enough. Lou, Kate, Tammy, Mandi, Luba, Michelle, libraflyter, Kantayra, Patty, Jodi, She, Tramster, lola and sister cuervo to name a few. Lots more to thank too... I send you all big *hugs*

Thank you to Kantayra for issuing the challenge. She is one of the most incredibly awesome writers out there. *bows down and kisses her toesies* heh

There's a certain scene in the epilogue, in which Xander and Spike play pool and talk, which I dedicate to Kate O'Connor, aka Jinxed_Wood. You all know her for her fantastic fic called 'How to Get Ahead in the Otherworld' She has a super fantabulistic imagination, and I thank her for the idea ;^)

The blurb directly below about 'Love' is something I wrote at the Ghost of the Robot Forums, in the Off-Topic threads, and I think that it very much applies to this story... well, in my view of things anyway.

Now... on with the happy ending.

Shannon (Limerickgirl)
 

Epilogue - Rest

~~*~~

What does love mean to me?

It means that despite my utter failings, you'll still greet me in the morning.
It means that although I am so utterly imperfect, you can still offer me your hand.
It means that although I might always say the wrong thing, you'll somehow see all the right in it.
It means that even though I anger you, you'll crave a moment of my time.
Love, for me, is permission to be myself... raw, and unguarded.
It means I would search the earth for you, even though you might be just around the corner.
Love means remembrance, and the ability to close my eyes and distinguish you from 6 billion others.
Love is the simplest thing, and yet it can be the most painful of all things.

~~*~~

Christmas Eve...

Buffy wakes to find a strong arm wrapped firmly around her, a smooth, big hand possessively holding her breast. Waking up like this is the most wonderful thing to her. Spike folds her into his embrace each night. They fall asleep, they turn and move as sleeping people do, but then as the late morning hours approach they fold back into each other again, and she wakes first often, like this, feeling thoroughly and wonderfully safe.

Buffy warms Spike's flesh. She gives off such warmth that he naturally absorbs her heat. She also finds this a wonderful thing, because she hates to be too hot in bed, apart from sexy-hot that is! She often had to lie at the very edge of the bed when Riley stayed with her because he'd suffocate her with his sweaty bed heat. But this... this is exquisite. Spike isn't too hot, isn't too cold. In fact, he's just right. He's perfect for her. He's everything she ever thought she could want. Buffy can't help but smile and thank any deity that's listening for this wonderful gift. To think she could have lost this. Mustn't think about it anymore.

Soon Buffy feels Spike's hand begin to knead her breast and she turns slightly, not disturbing his grasp, to greet him.

"Good morning sleepyhead," she teases.

"Is that all it is? Still morning? Needa get some kip, luv... I'm shagged," he says as he grins against her shoulder.

"Um, no... you actually aren't... well, yet anyway." She offers him a wicked grin, and he kisses her shoulder, then licks his way up to her neck.

"Sounds very promising, pet. Can't move though. Gotta handful of slayer tittie and I don't wanna let go just yet."

Buffy bursts out laughing... "You are so corny! What am I gonna do with you?"

"Well, you can start by reaching back and grabbing my big bad..."

Buffy cuts him off as she flips over, presses his back down onto their new bed, and slides down onto his very impressive big bad.

"You were saying?" She gives him a squeeze and the blissful 'wowed' look that he was sporting only moments before is replaced with a deep desire-filled gaze and the type of sensual moan hot enough to melt the polar icecaps.

As they worship each other with touch and connection, they look into each other's eyes and see only the unguarded, unbridled emotion felt by two people so deeply, desperately in love.

Buffy's hair drapes around Spike's face as she lowers herself down towards him, needing to be closer. Spike wraps her hair around each of his hands and tugs her down so their noses are touching as their hips meet and thrust in time with each other.

"Say it, Buffy…" Spike breathes out the words, so close. "Tell me…"

"I love you, Spike… love you so, so much."

Their lips meet in a deep, ravenous kiss and as they reach that perfect moment of release they cry out each other's names and press themselves even closer together, not wanting to be apart in the slightest.

Buffy and Spike have their own definition of Heaven. And it's right here within each other's arms.

~~*~~

"Oh. My. God. They're doing it, again!" Dawn huffs as she takes her cereal bowl to the sink.

Janice stares at the ceiling, a dreamy look on her face. She's forgotten all about Dawn and shopping and everything, but the hot noises coming from above.

"Janice?! Gross!"

"Oh," she practically whispers, "isn't that the hottest thing you've ever heard in your entire existence?" Obviously Janice is a lost cause.

"Newsflash! I get to hear the hot and sweaty morning, noon and freakin' night!" Dawn can't help the little grin that graces her mouth then.

"Aha! You don't think it's so gross, do you? C'mon, admit it!"

"I'm happy for them, Janice. They were meant to be together."

Dawn looks away, she really is so happy for both of them, and sure, this is what she wanted all along. "So we gonna go to the mall, or what? I don't think I wanna stick around for round eight hundred and nighty nine."

"They do it that much?" Janice's jaw hangs frighteningly low to the floor.

"This?" she points to the ceiling… "This is just the wake up sex… wait til they really get going." Dawn rolls her eyes. "Can we get to the mall now? There's only like, seven hours of Christmas shopping left, and I'm only half done my list."

Janice looks up once more, disappointed with the sudden quiet. "Yeah, let's go. Gotta find the perfect gift for Eddie."

"Oh, please don't tell me you've decided to fall for Eddie. What happened to Gio?"

"Puh-lease… he's SO ancient history."

Dawn grabs her coat and stands at the bottom of the stairs…

"Buffy! Spike! We're going shopping! Won't be back till we're done! I'll help you with the dinner the minute I get in… promise!"

Dawn hears a thud, a crash and muffled giggles. She's almost sure Buffy has just said, "You better!" but then, they might have been completely ignoring her, and that might have been, "Ooh leather!" She takes that as an 'Off you go Dawnie!' and nudges Janice out the door and off to the mall.

~~*~~

"You're gonna help me with the cooking of things later aren't you? 'Cause Dawn's gone for the day no doubt."

Spike lazily ran a finger down her cheek, along the delicate line of her jaw and then across her swollen, well-kissed lips. "I haven't cooked a bird in over a century, luv. Can't remember how. But I can chop the veggies for you, if you want. I'm good with knives." He gives her a lecherous grin and a quick wiggle of the eyebrow, yes, that one…

"Veggie duty for you, then mister. Maybe you could help me with the gravy?"

"Got lots 'n' lots o' gravy for you, my girl…" he leans closer and nibbles the tip of her nose.

"Mmm hmmm… hey! Stop that! We have to get the house ready… everyone's descending upon us tonight, remember? Is the basement all ready? I mean, really ready? 'Cause we're gonna have some fun tonight, all of us."

"It's ready luv… I promise."

"Go down and make sure?"

"Anything for you, my love."

He doesn't move, just nibbles her nose some more.

"Spike?"

"Mmm?"

"Much as I love you and love this?"

"Mmm?"

"Move yer ass."

"Mmmhmmm."

~~*~~

A little while later, in the kitchen…

"Buffy?"

God she loves it when he says her name… she'll never, ever get tired of hearing it coming from him.

"Yes, Mr. So-incredibly-gorgeous-I-want-to-spread-whipped-cream-on-you-and-eat-you-up?"

He looks at her slightly open, sensuous smile and momentarily forgets what he was going to say… but somehow then reality comes crashing back and he looks at the floor.

"They're not gonna really accept my being a part of your Christmas, you know… Betcha they can't picture the Big Bad getting' all nostalgic around the tree and all that rot. Just warning you, luv. I mean… even I'm surprised at me… imagine how the others are gonna feel."

Buffy looks at the man she loves and sees genuine worry in his eyes. "Spike… we've been together every single minute since that night of the storm. They've watched us, been around us… they've accepted you. They know I love you. They know you're here now, and not in that awful lair. They know that you love me, and Dawn… and they know you'd never hurt me. They don't have a problem anymore Spike. Trust me."

"I do trust you, pet… but it's Christmas. And that means time for all good things. Not demons like me. I'm sure they won't see this the way you do."

"You're wrong, love. Christmas is about loving and sharing and forgiving."

"I know that… I remember." He slides his hands around her waist and pulls her close. "I remember when I was a lad, and my Mum would be baking and roasting and wrapping gifts and getting me to help. I remember feeling like the luckiest lad in the world. Christmas for me and my Mum was always so special." His expression turns a little dark and he nestles his face into her hair at her shoulder. "Lost the meaning of Christmas a long time ago, luv. Buried it with a lot of things. No place for a demon at Christmastime." He lifts his head again to search her eyes.

"Don't say that. You're not like that anymore. You are so much more than that." She looks into his eyes and strokes his cheek. "You're my man… every part of you is mine, and every part of you is welcome, and loved… and home. And we have Christmas at home, Spike… and that means you're a part of Christmas too..."

His arms tighten around her waist and he lifts her, nuzzling his face along the delicate flesh of her neck. He places her on the counter and she wraps her legs around him, running her hands through his soft wavy hair. She rubs her cheek along his hair then, as he covers her exposed skin with soft little kisses. Buffy loves his hair like this. He's let it grow a little and let the roots go. Makes her weak at the knees every time she looks at him, because he's even more beautiful than the statues she's seen of the Greek gods… oh, those Greek gods have nothing on her Spike… especially below the belt!

As Spike starts unbuttoning her blouse the front door opens and Xander and Anya walk in, heavy laden with bags of presents and food.

"Please tell me you're not gonna be preparing food on that countertop now that you're practically having sex there. I mean, points for doing it in the kitchen, but c'mon Buffy! You gotta use that surface for food!" Ahh Anya.

Buffy and Spike sigh and frustrated sigh, and Spike quickly does up her buttons. "Right, Anya, don't know what we were thinking."

"Oh, I do! You were thinking, let's have hot, steamy kitchen counter sex! I mean, it's one of my favourite places in the house to do it!"

Xander blushes… It's still difficult for him to fathom the Buffy/Spike sex. "Ahn, honey…"

"Oh, right, now's not the time… blah, blah, blah."

"Oh, hey Giles called and said they'll be over in about an hour. And Willow and Tara are on their way."

"Thanks, Xan… Hey why don't you guys go downstairs? Anya and I can get into the making of the very delicious desert items." Buffy hauls Spike in for a kiss… "Special desert for you later," she whispers.

"Ahem! Spike! Let's go down and do manly things and leave the women to the household duties!" Xander grabs three cans of beer from the fridge, a huge packet of Doritos, and heads down.

"Later, luv… Oh and hey, I invited Clem and he's bringing some presents and stuff. And I want everyone to just smile and accept it, no matter what it is, ok?"

Everyone agrees to lie to Clem if they have to.

Spike grabs a Christmas cookie from under the foil and makes a dash for the basement stairs.

"Hey! Those are for later!"

"Come and get it back, so!" he says with a mouthful of cookie.

"Men." Buffy *hmphs* and Anya *hmphs* right along with her.

~~*~~

 

Xander looks around at the great job they've done with the basement. Spike had actually helped him and Giles set it up. There's a long couch, a few bean bags on the floor, Spike's old TV in the corner, and a great big shaggy rug in one area, and then there's lots of bookcases filled with all sorts of books… from Buffy's crappy romance novels, to some of Giles more recent texts that he hoped Buffy might actually read, to Spike's own books, which surprising to Xander, are poetry mostly, and Shakespeare. There's even a rack of videos beside the TV full of old Black and Whites and even some of Dawn's Disney flicks mingled in. Looks so comfortable, the place, and lived in, and loved.

To top it all off, they put in the massive pool table, much to Xander's complete and utter joy. Spike's too!

They choose their cues and chalk them up.

"Coin toss?" Xander asks.

"Better than the last idea."

"Hey, I figured you'd suck at Baseball history."

"And I didn't think you'd make us wait that long while you looked up my answer to your trivia question… only to find out I was right!"

"Coin toss it is… so heads or tails?"

"Tails."

Xander flips. "Damn."

"'S'alright Harris, this'll be a warm-up."

They play in silence, muttering the odd curse here or there. Only Xander of course, because Spike is potting everything. The silence starts to get deafening, when Xander decides to break it.

"Spike?"

"Yeah?"

"How'd you do it? Change, I mean…"

"Don't know where you're goin' with this, man… you talkin' about me fightin' on the good side now?"

"Yeah…" Xander takes his shot and the ball nicks the corner of the pocket, veering off towards the opposite end of the table.

"Happened over time I guess. Like, I hated you for ages, I did. But when I was living with you though, I decided that if even I could kill you I just wouldn't. Kinda got some history between us, you know? I'd hate to wipe that out, no matter how much you pissed me off."

Spike takes a shot and pockets the ball, a triumphant grin on his face.

"But you have no soul. I just find it so difficult to see how you could possibly feel anything for anyone… Having said that though, I kinda have to admit that you're unique. I mean, look at Angel with no soul. Now that's a nightmare. But you're different."

Spike wonders whether he should be thanking Xander or not, and watches as he takes another shot and misses.

"Harris, you have to get lower down to the cue… you're too high up to really line it up."

Spike demonstrates and pots the next ball with ease. Looking up, he finds Xander studying him quite intently, but figures he hasn't seen the demonstration at all. Still on the subject of the lack of soul, then... Alright.

"Having a soul doesn't make you good. You should know that. I mean, what did the soul do for Bundy? What I'm trying to get at is, having a soul doesn't mean you have the right feelings. And not having a soul doesn't mean you have the wrong ones. Love and hate and passion and protection and possession are things you either have, or you haven't. Angelus never had them to begin with. I did. Well, maybe 'cept for hate of course. Angelus had enough hate for a thousand demons."

Spike waits for Xander to take a shot, it is after all a warm up round. When Xander doesn't move, just stares at him a little with a questioning expression on his face, Spike puts down his cue and approaches him.

"You got a problem with me, Harris? 'Cause if you do, spit it out, right now. Right here. I wanna know if you're gonna be able to get through this evening without any hang-ups. Let's deal with it right now before Buffy has to start worryin' about damage control through dinner."

Xander slowly starts to smile and it makes Spike wonder what's next. Didn't he tell Buffy that this might be uncomfortable for the others? Isn't this just what he was talking about? Xander shocks him then when he picks up the pool cue and bends down for his shot, pocketing the ball with ease. He smiles and straightens up.

"No problem, Spike. I was just wondering when I stopped looking at you as just an evil vampire, and started seeing you as a friend." He grinned wickedly. "Your shot, Walking Dead."

Spike feels the tension leave his body and lets out his unneeded breath. "Good bloody shot, Pilsbury."

"Oh that one is so old… get a new one, Spike."

"What, like Gilligan maybe? 'Cause you know, sometimes when I think about the Scoobies I think that name is a little off. I mean, you're more a Gilligan's Island kinda crew. Rupert's the Professor, Willow is Maryanne, Buffy is definitely Ginger." He waggles his eyebrows at Xander, which nets an *eyeroll* of massive proportions.

"Sorry man, our group's just not gonna fit that bill. You're forgetting Thurston Howell the third and his lovely social climbing wife. Plus, you haven't nailed down the Captain. Who would that be, Spike? You?" Xander laughs then… "You'd be the Captain! You'd just love to smack me around the place!"

Spike didn't expect to be beaten at his own game, but seeing as it's Christmas he figures he can let Harris have this one. "Scoobies is much better. What with you having had Dogboy around and all. I was wrong."

Xander can't quite believe it. Spike backed down. Spike… backed down. "Yeah, I could kinda see your point though. Imagine all of us, trapped on an island full of demons."

"Kinda like we are now, right? 'Cept, Sunnydale's not an island o' course. Oh that was waaay off the plot. Forget I said it."

Xander guzzles down his beer then and lets out the mother of all belches. Spike stares at him in wonderment.

"What?"

"Shit, Harris, damn near ripped your own throat out with that one."

"I'm good, no? Got technique." Xander puffs out his chest.

"Got wind. Got a gut too. Don't know where technique fits in."

Xander watches Spike take a sip of beer and waits. Spike sips and then gulps, keeping a close eye on Xander the whole time. Finally he slams down the empty can and looks Xander in the eye… "Wait for it… wait for… BRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRP!"

The force of Spike's belch is something Xander has never encountered, and he stares at the Vampire in awe. They both look up then when they hear Buffy and Anya up in the kitchen yell, 'Xander!! Gross!!' and they grin conspiratory grins.

"That was… WOW! I think you might have hit the Richter Scale with that one, man! And like, you just answered about a million questions I had about you! You can burp! And that means…"

"Don't even say it!"

"You can fart!"

"Don't you dare! I burped! I've done my dutiful bonding! I'm not gonna go down that road mate!"

"C'mon! It's just us down here! Have at it!"

"Christ, you're worse than Clem! I'm gonna go upstairs if you mention farting again."

Xander backs down with his hands waving in front of him, in a gesture of surrender. "Rack 'em up, Mr. Riggermortis. I'm gonna do some serious damage with this cue."

Spike stares at him… just a short while ago, that phrase would have given him a moment's pause. No doubt there were probably many times Harris would have liked to have shoved a pool cue through his heart. But now, he can feel a difference. Things have changed, and Spike likes it just like this.

"Racked and ready."

~~*~~

A half an hour later, as Willow and Tara set the table and Xander, Anya and Dawn light candles, the doorbell rings.

"Would you get that, Spike? It's probably Giles."

"Sure, luv." Spike kisses Buffy's cheek softly before he goes to the door and he hears her sigh contentedly behind him.

"Ah, Watcher… and Katherine… and hey! Clem! How's it goin' mate?"

Giles and Katherine make their way to the kitchen as Clem comes up the path to the front porch, carrying a large basket.

"Can't talk yet, Spike! Can I put this somewhere?"

Spike hears a curious sound coming from the basket. "Uh, sure mate, put it in the basement, yeah? For now anyway."

"Oh, thanks… boy oh boy something smells good!" Clem rushes through the kitchen and straight downstairs, leaving Buffy, Giles and Katherine wondering what the?

Giles turns and takes Katherine's coat and kisses her softly on the forehead. "You look so beautiful, Katherine. I'm so very lucky," he whispers.

Katherine blushes enough for ten people and grasps his hand, entwining her fingers with his.

Buffy smiles as she watches the displays of affection between her Watcher and his lovely woman, and thinks that with all these gifts she's been given, of love and friendship and family, there could only be one other thing to make this Christmas perfect. Sadly, it would never happen. Her mother is gone. But perhaps she's looking down on Buffy this very moment. And Buffy knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that Joyce would be so very happy to see the full house she has. This is what she always wanted.

Clem breaks Buffy's deep thoughts when he bursts back into the kitchen, beaming…

"Merrrrrry Christmas!" he shouts.

Buffy howls in laughter at the sight of him. He's wearing big baggy red Santa pants, a huge Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer sweater and a fluffy Santa hat that's hanging down to one side.

"Oh my god, Clem!!" she shouts as she rushes over to him, "You look awesome!"

Clem blushes a fairly pretty pink, "Aw shucks, Buffy… it's just festive."

"Thanks for coming," she says as she hugs him again. She finally lets him go and turns back to her preparations for the big dinner.

Just then they hear singing outside, and Spike looks at Clem.

"Carolers?" Clem asks.

"Carolers," Spike confirms, looking through the window. "How's about you and me go greet 'em? You know, bein' all festive, and whatnot." He gives him a lecherous smirk and Clem knows exactly what he's on about. He hurriedly joins his best friend at the front door. "On three?" he asks.

"Three, mate… ready? One…"

Buffy wonders momentarily where Spike has disappeared to.

"Two."

Little Jimmy Murphy and little Sara Heinz along with ten other adults and children burst into a loud rendition of 'Joy to the World' right at the steps of the Summer's residence, all smiles and Christmas cheer.

Buffy suddenly has a sinking, unsettling feeling.

"Three!"

Spike and Clem open the door as the carolers begin the second verse, and as Buffy rounds the corner, half sprinting, she hears "Merrrrrrry Christmas!!" from Clem and Spike, sees tentacles shoot out through the Santa cap and around Clem's head and hears the earth-shattering screams of little Jimmy and little Sara as they run for their lives, music sheets and hats a-flying!

The silence in the doorway is deafening, and Spike kicks himself as he thinks that perhaps that wasn't the brightest plan… but was it ever fun! Slowly Spike and Clem turn around, expecting to be on the receiving end of hateful glares and sharp words… only…

Buffy's hand flies up to cover her mouth at the sight of the villainous pair. She hadn't noticed that Clem had given Spike a Santy hat as well, and seeing them both looking so terribly roasted washes away any rebuke she'd mustered. She just couldn't be angry.

"Stand right there. Don't move," she says rather firmly, and neither of them move a muscle.

They hear her rustling around in a drawer, and as Xander walks by them he whispers, "You guys are toast. Hah!"

"Um, Spike? How long do we gotta stay like this? I gotta take a leak."

"Don't wanna piss off the Slayer, mate. Though, can't figure for the life of me why she needs us to…"

Buffy cuts him off when she snaps the camera and the flash momentarily blinds them.

"That one's for our album." She says to Spike then snaps the Polaroid again. "This one, Clem, is for you."

"Er, we have an album?" He looks at Clem who gives him such a warm smile. "We have an album!"

"Hey! How come he gets to scare away the carolers? No fair!" Xander is clearly miffed at the fact that Spike's getting away with this. Last year he wanted to scare off the annoying Off Key Carolers but no, nobody wanted to join in the fun.

Xander walks away, defeated, but then kinda chuckles and thinks, man… Spike's got it good.

~~*~~
 

The gang gathers around the dinner table and before they sit down they all share a glance. Giles stands at the head of the table, with Katherine to his left, then Dawn, then Tara and Willow. Xander sits at the other end of the table with Anya on his left, then Spike and Buffy. Clem stands between Buffy and Giles.

"Can we have a toast?" Giles asks…

"A toast!" they all agree and raise their glasses full of rich Merlot, even Dawn's.

"We are all very different, aren't we? All from various backgrounds and upbringings," He looks at Clem, "Dimensions," looks at Spike then and Anya, "Centuries… and of course, religions." He gives Willow a nod and she nods back. "We all have distinct qualities and abilities. We work together, and we struggle together, and we win together, and laugh together… and sometimes," he looks at the picture of Joyce on the hutch beside him, "… sometimes we cry together too." Giles raises his glass and the others follow suit. "In all of this, all the trials and tribulations and moments of joy and heartache, we remain… together. When we started, we were just four strong. And look at us now. We're stronger than we ever were. We're sure, and steady and capable. We have more power between us than most of the nasties of this or any other world could ever hope for."

Giles takes a deep breath, and the others watch him intently. Buffy holds back her tears as best she can, because to her, this man is like her father… Better. Better than her father ever was. And he's accepted her. And he's accepted Spike. And he's not let her down in the slightest.

"We welcome Spike, and Katherine, and Clem to this... family. With all the warmth in our hearts we open our doors, and make room, and ask you in. Would you join us? Would you stay? Because we're so much better with you than without, and we can't imagine our lives without you in them."

Giles hardly has the chance to set his glass on the table before Buffy, Katherine, Dawn, Willow and everyone envelops him in the greatest group hug he has ever experienced. And for the first time in a long time, Giles lets a tear fall for his happiness.

~~*~~

"Oh, Buffy that was the best meal I've had in a long time!" Clem exclaims.

"Gotta say, Buffy… what happened to you? You're like, Martha Stewart or something!" Dawn says with a giggle.

"Says the girl who was too busy shopping to help!"

"Hey, I was shopping for you, Buffy… "

"How about we all head downstairs? We could shoot some pool, watch some videos, that sorta thing." Xander offers.

"Don't forget the hot ones." Spike reminds him, "This time of year you gotta have a few hot ones."

"Haven't had 'hot ones' in ages, Spike. Good plan." Giles agrees.

Spike gives him a friendly nod, "Let's get the kettle on then."

"Oh! Can we each open one present?? Please?? I so wanna have some Christmas eve prezzie basking!" Dawn bellows from the sitting room.

Buffy looks at Spike who nods with Giles and Xander and Anya. "OK, one giftie each!"

Spike looks very distant then and pulls Buffy aside.

"Be back in a minute, luv. Got something for you… was gonna leave it till the morning, but don't wanna wait really."

Buffy reaches up and threads her fingers through his hair. "I have something for you too," she says and plants soft, loving kisses on his gorgeous lips.

"I love you," he whispers as he looks deeply into her eyes.

"And I love you," she whispers back, smiling.

Giles grasps Katherine's hand tighter as he listens to the girl he considers a daughter reclaim her love, over and over with her words and her kisses.

~~*~~
 

"Oh my god… Rupert… it's so beautiful!" Giles is totally thrown off when he finds he suddenly has a lapful of Katherine and her arms are wrapped around him fiercely. She pulls back and gazes at the beautiful gold, emerald and diamond bracelet adorning her wrist. She leans her head on his chest and he strokes her hair, and it's as if they're the only two people in the room.

"My turn," Dawn says as she walks towards Spike and hands him a gift wrapped in silver paper, tied with navy ribbon. "I hope it's ok."

Spike looks up at his Nibblet and is totally stunned. He truly never expected anything from anyone. Carefully he unwraps the gift and smiles as he opens the rectangular box. Inside he finds an exquisite journal, just waiting to be written in, waiting for hopes and dreams and experiences, and, Dawn thinks to herself, some more of that poetry.

Spike swallows and reaches for her, pulls her down to sit with him and Buffy, and he hugs her so tightly then, wraps her so snugly to himself. "Nibblet, you're the best, luv… really, I love it. Thanks."

Dawn snuggles between her sister and her favourite vampire and all seems so totally right with the world, especially when Spike hands her a little velvet box. Dawn opens it and squeals when she finds a sterling silver necklace with a thick silver celtic charm, and matching earrings. She squeezes him so tight and thanks him over and over. Spike strokes her hair and tells her how very welcome she is.

Willow and Tara exchange gifts with each other and then stand up and walk over to Clem. "For you," they say together.

"Me? What? No… really? Wow thanks guys!" Clem unwraps the rectangular box and finds an earthy red silk shirt neatly folded within. "Oh wow! Just like I was saying, Spike! My colour! Oh, girls, thanks!" He gets up and shuffles over to them, enveloping them both in a hug.

Xander and Anya look at each other, knowing that it must be their turn, and Anya slowly makes her way over to Spike. "It's a special version of… um… whatever it is. It's a surprise you see, so I can't tell you. So go on, open it!"

Spike is flabbergasted at this stage… that's two presents he's received tonight. Two more than he ever expected. He carefully unwraps the box to find a crimson colored mug inside. He lifts it out and reads what's printed on the side in bold white letters.

"98.6… Hah! Thanks!" Everybody giggles and Anya looks pleased.

"Well, it's our way of saying you're A-OK. That mug can sit proudly anywhere amongst our households!"

"Thanks very much Anya, and Harris."

"So," Dawn points out to Buffy and Spike, "Looks like you two are last."

"Well, uh, not actually. You see, I kinda planned to be last… if that's ok with all of you of course!" Clem adds cautiously.

Everyone nods and Spike reaches beside him as Buffy reaches behind her.

"Will we do this together, luv?"

"We really should," she says with a slight nod.

Spike hands her the gold-wrapped package and she reads the beautiful writing on it, just like the writing from the poems, she notes with a big smile.

She hands Spike his gift as well, and he kisses her temple as she starts to unwrap her present.

They both gasp at what they find.

Spike holds up two delicately framed poems. The very poems he lost all those months ago! He looks up at Buffy with wonder. She's too busy holding back the tears as she leafs through the pages of a beautiful, small, leather bound journal… the words '~Buffy, my love~' printed in gold on the front. Inside she finds beautifully handwritten copies of the very poems he had written her… the ones Giles gave her, and so many others… and something more. In the middle of the little book she finds a dried, pressed rose, and the words on the page tell her it's the rose she gave him that stormy, wonderful night when she made him finally see that she loved him… and she can't quite hold back her emotion.

"You had these," he whispers, holding his original poetry in hand. "How?"

Dawns sees what they're talking about and swallows hard, wondering if she'd be in big trouble for not saying anything.

"Giles found them, and gave them to me to that night you rescued Dawn." Buffy explains.

Spike glances at Giles then and gives him a questioning look. Giles merely nods and smiles.

Buffy and Spike hold each other so tightly then, grasping their gifts so closely. They have more presents for each other as well, but they can wait till morning. These things couldn't wait. They needed to be seen and shared, and everything is exactly as it should be.

"Hey! Well, that leaves me then I guess!" Clem announces, before he walks over to a dark corner of the basement and retrieves his basket.

"Now, uh… I hope you guys will be happy with this, because hey, really, really big thing for me, ya know? But I wanted you all to know how much you mean to me, and Spike, so I offer you these…" He places the basket in the middle of the rug and opens the lid, to reveal five beautiful sleeping kittens.

"There's one for you and Katherine, Mr. Giles, and one for you, Xander and Anya. One for you of course, Willow and Tara, and one for you Dawn." He smiles when she comes and sits beside him to get a closer look at the kittens. "Oh and there's one for you guys too," he says to Spike and Buffy.
 

Dawn is the first to lift one of the sleeping bundles from the basket, a little ginger one, and she gives Buffy a quick glance to let her know there's no way in hell she can say no. Buffy just smiles and snuggles closer into Spike.

Xander is the next to pick out a kitten and lifts a little chocolate one up and carefully places it in Anya's lap.

"Hey, nothing at all like bunnies!" Anya sighs in relief.

Willow and Tara pick out a little black and white kitten and bundle her in one of their scarves. "Miss Kitty Fantastico's gonna love you," Tara whispers.

Katherine pulls Giles along with her to the basket and they both peek in. There's two left. One is calico and the other nearly totally white. Katherine chooses the calico kitten and carefully retrieves it. Giles looks completely unsure all of a sudden and wonders if he can back out at all, till he sees Katherine lift the little bundle up and cradle it under her chin, cooing softly. If he thought he knew it maybe, before, he knows for sure now that he is utterly and hopelessly lost to this woman.

"Isn't it the most adorable little thing?" Katherine asks.

"Yes, my love… erm, I guess we'll need to get a few things."

"Litter, food dishes, playthings… yes."

"Right. Um, about the litter…"

Spike lets go of Buffy for a moment and reaches into the basket for their kitten.

"Look at you... little white tiger, you are," he whispers to it as he nestles it in Buffy's lap.

Spike strokes the kitten and has a look around the room. Everyone's so quiet, seemingly deep in thought, content expressions on their faces. Except for Clem of course. He's being a pillar of strength considering he just gave away what he'd consider five choice, tasty morsels.

"Uh, guys? I really need to get going. Gonna meet the girlfriend, see? She went to visit with her folks tonight and I'm gonna meet her back at her place."

Everyone deposits their sleeping kittens on cushions and they all get up to see Clem upstairs. When they reach the door, he finds himself thoroughly hugged by all the women, and he gets a grand pat on the back from the men. Spike takes him aside on the porch and thanks him for coming.

"Great thing you did tonight, mate. Class, actually."

"Ah well, it's Christmas. Gotta do the impossible on Christmas, right?"

Spike looks at him then with a curious expression and realizes what Clem means.

"The impossible. Right. Goodnight, man."

Spike and Buffy wish everyone well as they leave shortly after Clem, and very soon Dawn heads up to bed.

They leave everything as it is, and quietly head up to their room. Buffy yawns as she strips out of her clothes and Spike watches her, mesmerized by her beauty and the way she feels so free around him. She pulls him over to the bed, undressing him as she goes. She doesn't attack him… she's not frantic, feels no rush. She runs her hands over his naked form then and pulls him down into their new bed, courtesy of Giles and Katherine, and they slip under the midnight blue covers and make slow, sweet love.

"Merry Christmas, Spike… I love you," she whispers in his ear, "I'm the luckiest girl in the world."

"Merry Christmas, my beautiful girl… I love you too," he says as he folds her into his embrace, stroking her hair as she falls asleep. To think that saying something like 'Merry Christmas' was so foreign to him for so very long, and yet, in such a short space of time he was reminded of who he'd been once, so long ago, what he'd had before he was turned, and what he now has again. It blows his mind to think of it.

He once thought that he'd lost weak little William, as he'd always called him, that that part of him had lost all hope and disappeared; lost all hope with him at the tower. But looking down at the sleeping form of his Buffy, and thinking of this incredible evening, he knows that William must have been there all along, and perhaps it was that part of him that kept him going… perhaps when Spike had lost all hope William retained just enough to keep him alive, long enough to see that he really was worth something to someone, and in the end he could be just exactly what Buffy wanted and needed... and loved. And that he could be accepted by all of them for who he was, demon, man, all of it.

As Spike allows himself to drift off to sleep he lets the memories of his hopelessness finally fade away and he embraces the gifts he's been given. "I'm the luckiest man in the world," he whispers and closes his eyes.
 

~The End~