Chapter 1 - Fool for Love

Like a picture she was laying there

Moonlight dancing off her hair

The summer of ‘76 was supposed to be the summer of his life.

It was the time when he was supposed to go from being a boy to a man. Spike had just graduated from high school. Most of his fellow students couldn't believe that he had graduated in the top 5% of their class. They all thought he was the classic loner bad boy. That was because they didn't take the time to know him. He had been the new boy when his mum had moved them here so she could get married. Over time he had gone from being the new boy to the bad boy.

It was his shyness and poet's soul that set him apart. His mum had never really settled in one place very long so he never got the chance to make friends. Or have a girl friend. And by the time she had moved him here he didn't care about being around people anymore. So, he changed things to please himself. He started to emulate the punk rock movement wishing that he was brave enough to be as rebellious as they were. To be able to live his life on the edge away from the normalcy that held him captive. In one of his rare moments of independence his hair had gone from the curly brown afro to platinum blond with spikes. That one act had given him the courage to change other things about his looks. A cigarette was never far from his mouth while in his ear shone a diamond solitaire. The catcher in his looks was his leather duster bought from a thrift store. All the guys hated him and the girls watched him walk down the hall. But no one approached him.

For the most part it didn't bother him except for Cecily. One of the popular girls who was both smart and pretty. From the first day he had seen her in English class he had loved her. She was the star of his fantasies and the inspiration for his poems. But she ignored him and he didn't have the guts to approach her. So, he was alone with his thoughts and dreams and class work. Thus giving him the time to make the grades that gave him a full scholarship to any college he wanted. His somewhere distant future was secure while his present was a lonely odyssey of self doubt.

It was the van that actually changed things for him. A graduation present from his stepfather. Spike knew that the old man was just trying to score points with him but it was okay. Even if they never talked about it he was already in Spike’s affection. He had given his mum what she needed to settle down and try to make a decent life. The van was definitely a much appreciated bonus that sealed their relationship. It was a used 1975 Chevy van called the Kozy Kar. It was called that because it had the bed in the back and room for a second row of seats. But he had taken those out because he wasn’t going to be giving rides to anyone.

The van had given him an edge of confidence that he had lacked. It made him feel like the man he wanted to be. Like he could actually be a part of the cool kids crowd. That they might give him a chance to be a part of them filled him with hope that his life might change.

He decided it was time to do something that he never thought he would which was to ask Cecily out on a date. Spike decided now that school was out the best place for him to approach her would be the class graduation party. Since they didn’t move in the same circles he probably wouldn’t see her again after that. So the party was pretty much it for his chances. The plan was made and set into motion.

He spent a lot of time preparing for the party. The right clothes and the right look. It made him feel a little silly primping like a girl. But he wanted as much confidence from his looks as he could get. But he stuck with his punk looks. A t-shirt that proclaimed his allegiance to the music of Patti Smith and faded blue jeans finished off with his steel toed boots. His hair was freshly bleached to the platinum that was his trademark. His cologne was Brut. Actually he had borrowed it from his stepfather but knew that a lot of the girls liked it. After checking himself out in the mirror from every angle he decided he was ready. All he needed was his duster to finish it off.

The other kids had looked at him strangely when he walked in. That was the first time that he had shown up at any of the class functions except for graduation. Ignoring the stares directed at him he moved through the crowd looking for her. Finally he spotted her in the well lit section of the banquet hall. She was with her little group of friends shining like the star she was. They were all dressed in the latest fashion and talking a little too loud. They wanted to make sure everyone knew that they were the ones to watch. That their group were the ones that led the way.

Spike hesitated off to the side waiting for the right moment. In his hand was the poem he had written for her. It had taken him hours to compose it and get it just right. To find a word that rhymed with effulgent. But it was done. And perfect. He started rehearsing what he would say when he asked her out. All he wanted was a shot. There wasn't anything wrong with him. At least he kept telling himself that.

It's going to be okay. Just go up and ask her out. Tell her how pretty she looks. Just don't be hesitant. She likes guys with control.

Taking a deep breath he was ready to approach her as some of her friends wandered off. He moved toward her with the poem clutched tightly in his fingers. His palms were sweaty and his stomach tied up in knots.

"Well, well, look who is here. The class clown. Did you lose your way?" It was Angel. The one who had never let him alone. The star quarterback. He always tormented Spike every chance he got. And he was the one who gave him the nickname Spike. This was his only redeeming quality. To Spike it was way cooler than the previous nickname of Willie. Wee Willie. Guess what that stood for? Not that anyone would know except him. No one had been close enough to find out.

"No. This is the class graduation party right?" Spike answered Angel with a lot more bravado than he felt. His eyes began to dart around for a quick exit. He felt trapped as some of Angel's buddies closed in around him.

"The clown has some balls after all." Angel announced to his admiring audience. His voice boomed over the music and other conversations. The kids close enough to hear stopped what they were doing to turn around and look at the group surrounding Spike. The air crackled in anticipation of what was going to happen.

"Hey, what's this?" Angel looked around him to make sure that people were watching him before snatching the poem from Spike's hand. He tried to snatch it back protesting that it was private. But it only made Angel more determined to humiliate him. He held the poem up in his beefy hands and began to read.

"My heart expands 'tis grown a bulge in't inspired by your beauty effulgent." Angel stopped reading as laughter broke out around him. He got the reaction he was looking for in his fans. And at the expense of poor Spike standing there with his heart breaking. He blinked the tears back before that completed his disgrace. Turning he pushed his way through Angel's group and headed for the nearest exit.

Then he saw her. Cecily was headed down the hallway toward the bathrooms. He followed her after making sure that no one was watching. She had taken a seat on a bench outside of the Women's room. Spike walked up to her slowly. She seemed distressed by what had just happened. That Angel had embarrassed her too by his actions. Hope soared in his heart that maybe she was feeling his pain. That maybe she did have feelings for him after all. Taking another deep breath for courage he went to sit next to her. His knee almost touched hers giving him a chill of the sexual awareness kind. Spike folded his hands in his lap and kept his legs together hoping she wouldn't notice his reaction to her nearness.

Cecily turned to look at him with disdain on her face.

"Leave me alone, Spike." She turned to look down the hall to make sure that no one was approaching. It would be all over town tomorrow that she was seen talking to him. It would ruin her reputation.

Spike took it to mean that she was nervous about being next to him. His feelings projected onto the girl next to him. This was something that he had wanted for so long. To have this girl let him love her. He believed that Cecily had to be hiding her true feelings for him because he was so sure that they were meant to be. She would be free to express herself if he could just make her feel enough at ease.

"They're bullies. Can't you see? They're not like you and I."

Her eyes came back to look questioningly into his face. Spike shivered in anticipation of what he thinks will be the moment when all of his waiting and dreaming will be fulfilled. It fleetingly crossed his mind whether he should attempt to kiss her now or wait until after the words were spoken.

“You and I?” Then she laughed up at him.

Spike tried to form the words to tell her that yes they could be a couple. He wanted to say that he loved her but found that his throat had closed up from the panic that had taken control of his body.

“That poem that Angel was reading was it about me?” She asked so solemn. Like her whole world depended on his answer.

“Yes, it is.” The words came from somewhere inside of him. He didn’t even realize he was saying them. Every part of his being was centered on this girl beside him.

“Why would you write it for me?”

This was the moment he had been waiting for. To tell her what is in his heart. But as he opened his mouth to tell her someone stepped into the hallway. It was Angel.

“Because he’s in love with you.”

Cecily looked up at Angel with a shy smile.

“And the really sad part is he actually thinks he has a chance with someone like you.”

He reached down and took her hand. Spike couldn’t get a cohesive thought much less a word out as Cecily allowed him to take her hand and bring her to her feet.

No! This is wrong. It’s not supposed to be this way.

“Cecily, you don’t need to leave with him. You can be with me if you want.” Spike stumbled over the last words as he completely laid his heart out for her. A huge lump lodged in his throat as he waited for her to give him permission. Permission to protect her. But as he waited she turned to him and laughed.

“Please, Spike, you and me? You’re not good enough for me.”

She turned to Angel allowing him to put his arm around her shoulders. They started to walk down the hallway laughing at his humiliation. The tears burned his eyes as he fought to keep them from falling. As he tried to pull himself together enough to do something Angel turned back to him.

“Here.” A crumpled ball of paper was tossed at him. His reflexes took over as he caught it. “Try to use that shit on someone pitiful enough to actually buy it.”

He didn’t even wait for them to turn and walk away. There was an exit door behind him and he ran for it.

She doesn’t know what she is doing. This was supposed to be our night. Damn Angel. Damn him to hell.

The total devastation of her betrayal swept through his slim frame. He would have done anything for her. Anything. And she had thrown it away to walk on the arm of the walking steroid Angel. He wasn’t good for anything but using his mom’s hair gel and throwing a football. Maybe he should have waited and gotten Cecily out in the parking lot before doing anything. If she had just seen his new ride she would have changed her mind.

He slammed through the door letting the force of his anger carry it. It banged backwards against the wall. Then once the hinges had had enough it brought it back toward him hitting him in the shoulder before he could get away.

“Fuck.” He shouted out to the empty parking lot. Then quickly looked around to make sure he was. At first he didn’t see anyone as his blue eyes penetrated through the darkness. Then he heard giggles. He turned toward the sound and saw them.

Drusilla and Darla.

The class sluts. Or so everyone said. Angel had actually dated them once. At the same time. He told all the guys in the locker room they didn’t mind sharing. Him. Sex was supposed to be about love and the thought of just doing it for a fuck sickened Spike. It went against everything he had believed in. But then at the moment love wasn’t doing anything for him.

He stopped and stared at them. His eyes took in their too short skirts and their too tight shirts. Shirts they had unbuttoned enough so the tops of their breasts were in danger of falling out. Breasts that made him want to touch them. Drusilla was all milky white and soft looking. Darla was all firm and tanned. Both of their legs went on forever. He licked his lips at the sight before him.

They giggled again as they walked toward him.

“What has got you all pissed off?” Drusilla asked as she continued to walk up to him. She didn’t stop until she was practically on top of him.

“Nothing.” The past hour was not something he was going to share. Especially to the likes of them. He inhaled as Drusilla’s perfume tickled his nose. It was Jovan musk an earthy scent that matched her attitude. He had always thought she was kind of flaky but at this point who was he to argue.

“Is that your new van?” Darla came up on the other side of him. Her breasts brushed up against his arm sending him promises of things to come. He could feel himself begin to twitch again in his skin tight jeans.

“Yeah, it is.” He looked down at her in fascination as she licked her lips at him.

He quickly looked back at Drusilla as she trailed a finger down his arm. Watched as goose bumps showed up on his arm in the wake of her flesh. She looked up at him under her lids then she smiled a slow sexy smile.

“Do we get a tour?”

It was now or never. He looked briefly back at the way he had come. Somehow praying that Cecily would come looking for him. His heart sank when he realized that she wasn’t coming. Why not? Did it matter? The girl he had been saving it for didn’t want it.

“Yeah. Come on.”

He took a step forward as the girls attached themselves to either of his arms. They walked together toward the van. Still trying to be the gentlemen that he thought he was he gave them a hand into the van. But he had to admit the view was nice as their skirts went almost the way up to their bottoms and he got a glimpse of panties. The sweat started to gather under his arms as he actually saw underwear on a girl for the first time.

God, please don’t let me blow this. Maybe I shouldn’t be asking you this but I am eighteen and just a little experience would be nice.

He climbed in behind them closing the door behind him. The two girls had sat on the edge of the bed. Darla patted the space between them indicating they wanted him to sit between them. With alternating hope and trepidation of what he thought he wanted. He slipped down between the two girls. His hands clasped between his knees.

“This is really nice, Spike. All the comforts of home.” Drusilla purred in his ear as she slipped her hand on his leg.

He gulped. It was a wonder they didn’t hear him. Or the pounding of his heart as it raced in anticipation. Darla giggled in his ear while she ran a hand along his arm. He had a massive hard on being this close to two girls at the same time. Leaning forward slightly he hoped they wouldn’t notice. Drusilla leaned toward him putting her hand on his face. He turned to look at her just as she came toward him.

Then it was her lips on his.

Oh shit. What do I do? I have actual girl lips on mine. Do something. Damn it. Move your lips.

Her tongue was trying to enter his mouth so he opened it. As she started to move it around he tried to mimic her motions. She broke free from him and then Darla turned him toward her. She was more aggressive in her kiss almost biting his tongue in her enthusiasm. For a few minutes he was passed from one pair of lips to the other.

I have died and gone to heaven. I am the shit. This is so far out. I went from kissing no one to two girls in one night.

Just as he was wondering how to move them to another level. They broke it off. As he stared in amazement from one girl to the other. They exchanged a look between them that he never even noticed.

“What are you planning for the summer?” Drusilla asked him innocently.

He shrugged his shoulders and told her nothing.

“So, how do you feel about San Francisco?” Darla asked him as she squeezed his inner thigh.

“San Francisco?” Spike’s mind was still on making out and it took him a moment to comprehend what the girls were asking him.

"Yeah, you know that city to the north of us." Darla answered her voice thinly disguising her sarcasm. Spike started to withdraw from them as he realized they were toying with him. His eyes became shuttered as he looked at the pretty little blond that was still pressed against him.

"Spike." Drusilla softly called his attention away from her friend. When he turned toward him she began to lay small feather kisses against his cheek moving her way down to his neck. "We want you to go with us on the trip." Her tongue circled his ear. "We're all on the outside of those people that are inside having so much fun." Her hand moved up his thigh to come to lie on his stomach. "I just want us to celebrate graduation with a trip. So, why don't we all just go together?" Her lips came back to settle on his moving her tongue against his while her hand traveled between his legs. She stroked his hardness with a practiced hand. "There is so much fun that we can have together."

Then Dru pulled away from him leaving her hand where it was. Spike looked at her wanting someone to want him so badly. His eyes narrowed as he searched hers for the truth. She looked back at him her eyes openly returning his search. What the hell? Why not just go? What else did he have to do for the next couple of months? Maybe she wasn't lying. Maybe for once someone did want him around.

"Okay. When are we leaving?" He looked at her waiting for some sign of what was to come.

Drusilla pulled back clapping her hands.

"Goody. We are going to San Francisco."

Darla laughed and reached over to hug him while Drusilla hugged him from the other side. He laughed as he hugged them back. They both started talking of what they were going to do while they were there. He just sat back and listened to their excited voices. It was decided that they would leave on Tuesday morning. Darla had a cousin who lived in San Francisco that they could crash with while they were there. The plan just fell together as they sat on either side of him deciding everything. Spike just went along with whatever they decided while he tried to ignore the small nudging of caution that moved through his belly.

Neither one of them touched him anymore that night until he dropped them off at Dru's house. But then it was just quick kisses to his cheek as they told him good night. Phone numbers had been exchanged so they could solidify the plans in the next couple of days. As he drove away from them he worried if he had made the right decision. But for once in his life he just wanted to take a chance. So, he buried his feelings behind a huge wall of hope that this would be okay.

Chapter 2 - Sucker For Love

She woke up and took me by the hand

She's going to love me in my Chevy Van

He had been swinging from one extreme to the other ever since Saturday night. He would tell himself not to go on this trip and then a moment later he would throw caution to the wind and tell himself to go. His parents had thrown a fit about it telling him that he was crazy. The more they yelled the more he dug in about going. He was old enough to make his own decisions. Even if he did agree with them that it would be a mistake. Not that he would ever let them know that.

The final push to go had happened on Monday night. The girls had come by so they could all go out and pick up a few things for the trip. While they were at the store the three of them had run into Angel and Cecily.

"I hear the three of you are going away together." Angel had asked as he stood in front of them. The girls had moved to Spike’s side and told him that yes they were.

Angel had laughed. Loudly. It seemed to be his trademark to be the center of attention.

"That should be interesting the virgin and the whores on a trip. I wonder who will be more disappointed in the action. Will it be the virgin because he can't keep up with the whores or the whores who have to teach the virgin everything?"

Angel looked down at the things that he was carrying and pulled a small box out. He tossed it toward Spike. It took him a second after he caught the box to realize that it was a box of condoms. Disbelief and anger surged through Spike.

"Don't be mad, man. Of course they were mine but I think you'll need them more than me. Don't want to get the clap from those two. And if you need any advice on pleasing a woman I'll be glad to help out." Angel gave him a wink like they were old friends or something.

To Spike it was the final straw. The years of being the bunt of Angel's jokes and taunts had been building to this moment. The implication that he was sleeping with the girl he loved made him lose whatever control he had been hanging onto. Before anyone realized what was happening his fist connected with Angel's jaw. Spike briefly questioned his decision when the punch didn't take Angel down. His hand held the spot where Spike had hit while the surprise of him fighting back was evident on his face. Angel grabbed Spike by the front of his duster and swung. The two went down in a blur of fists and recoiling bodies. Angel had size on his side and Spike had pure fury pushing him on. Angel was getting as good as he was giving as they rolled on the floor. The fight didn't last long as the manager and assistant manager came to pull them apart.

They stood staring each other down. Both of them were panting for a chance to have a second go at it. Blood was dripping from Spike's nose and Angel's swelling eye was beginning to close.

"Both of you get out of my store now." The manager yelled at them as he grabbed Angel by the shirt collar and started to pull him toward the front of the store. Cecily flashed Spike a look of hatred before she followed Angel out the door.

"You okay?" Drusilla asked him as he wiped the blood from his face with the back of his hand. Spike looked down at her and nodded his head.

When the assistant manger reached for his arm Spike pulled away from him so he could walk out the door on his own. Dru hurried to his side holding onto his arm as they walked from the store.

It was the knowing that Cecily would never be his and the realization that he didn't want her anymore was the deciding factor. She wasn't who he had thought she was. When she sold out for flash and popularity it made her unattractive to him. He wanted a chance to do something different. To try to stretch out of the role he had created for himself so no matter the doubts he decided he was going to San Francisco for the summer.

Tuesday morning found him in his room throwing the last of his things into his bag. His mum walked into the room as he was stuffing some t-shirts in the already filled bag. There had been another fight last night when he had come home with blood on his clothes and lipstick smeared on his neck. She came around to sit on his bed facing him as he stood at the foot of it.

"You're really going to go?"

"Yeah, looks like it."

He was still angry with her about her lack of trust in him. It was difficult for him to see her side of things. That he had always been home with no indication of this sudden change. The need to fight, to be with girls who would get him into trouble, and the need to leave like this for the summer. All he knew was that he felt trapped here. And that she was trying to keep him here.

Spike looked up at his mum as she played with a loose thread in the bedspread. Deciding to ignore her he zipped up the bag and turned to put his duster on.

"Son, I can't keep you here." He froze as she started to speak to him. "But remember that you can always come home if something goes wrong. We won't hold it over your head or try to make you feel that you were wrong. It's hard for me to realize that you are grown. And you need to stretch your wings a bit. Just be careful."

Then her hand was on his shoulder turning him so that she could hug him. He wrapped his arms around her happy that she in her own way had given him her blessing to go. She told him that his stepfather had put some extra cash in his hiding spot in the van. Just in case he needed it. There were tears in his eyes as he walked out the door. Something inside was telling him that he would never return to this home as the boy that was leaving it now. Good or bad this summer would change him permanently.

It wasn't until the three of them had hit the highway that he felt himself begin to relax. The tension of the past few days drifted away in the dust behind the van. His heart became lighter the further that they went. A smile drifted across his face as he stepped on the gas and the van picked up speed. Home was becoming a distant memory in the wake of his new freedom.

A quick glance in the mirror showed him Darla curled up in his bed sleeping. She had never looked more innocent or so young than she did in that moment. He shook his head because he knew that she didn’t really like him. Her affection to him was nothing more than a means to an end. It didn’t really bother him as the feelings were mutual. She tried to come across as sweet but there was a cruel twist to her lips that made her seem old and jaded.

It was Drusilla that confused him. When he had picked them up Darla had immediately crawled into the back to sleep but Dru had come to sit in the seat across from him. Just a simple good morning was all she said. In her hands had been some magazines that she became lost in. The only other movement she had made was to change the radio to a station that played the top 40 hits. She seemed cold and distant this morning when just the night before she had been different.

After they had left the store she had told him to go ahead and take Darla home first. When they were alone she had given him directions to a darkened side street and had shown him where to park. Then she had taken him by the hand to lead him to the back of the van. Her touch had been almost gentle as she had lain down with him. But her kisses were harsh and he had to try to keep up with her. His mind was constantly going as to how to please her. She had to have known that he didn’t have a clue as to what to do but she just kept pushing him further. But yet every time his hands had tried to stray from her waist she would move them back. Finally she had broken away from him and had told him that it was only going to be kissing. When he had finally dropped her off he had felt so frustrated that he felt he was going to explode. And later at home as he wrapped his hand around himself he wondered if there was a girl out there that could love him. If somewhere there was a girl that would let him love her with all the loneliness in his heart.

He sighed as he glanced sideways at Dru lost in her magazine because he knew this wasn’t the one. Finally, she noticed the looks that were being directed her way.

“Everything okay?” She asked as she turned to look at him. A hand came to sweep back a lock of hair from her face.

“Yeah. Everything’s cool. Are you hungry? There’s a rest stop coming up.” He tried to cover up his confusion with a take charge attitude.

She nodded her head and crawled in the back to wake Darla up. He kept glancing back at the two of them as they giggled about something. Darla stretched slowly bringing her shirt up so that her stomach was exposed. As he watched she had met his eyes in the mirror and had giggled at him staring at her. He knew he had been caught as a blush crept across his face. Spike turned to keep his eyes on the road as he heard the two of them whispering. They had to have been talking about him. As hard as he could he tried not to let it bother him but it did.

They stayed in the back until they pulled into the parking lot of a truck stop. As they crawled out and made their way in to the restaurant it seemed every man around was watching the two. Spike tried to ignore the attention they were getting as they made their way to a booth in the back. He slid on one side while they sat on the other.

“Did you notice that hunk sitting at the table in the front?” Darla asked Drusilla as they looked over the menus.

“Yes, he was really cute.” Drusilla answered her as they giggled about their mutual attraction to a stranger.

Spike glanced up at them as they continued to talk about the men in the place. Although there no agreements about any of them being together he couldn’t believe they could be this cold. As Drusilla met his eyes he saw a flash of guilt in them as she realized what she had done. Darla looked from one to the other then reached a hand over to cover Spike’s.

“You don’t mind us talking about this do you? I mean since none of us are exclusive or anything.” She opened her eyes a little to try to appear innocent and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. He pulled his hand away from her.

“Darla, quit.” Drusilla looked over at her friend as Darla turned from Spike to her in surprise. They had always been a team. Use them and break their hearts had always been their motto. Dru had told her this morning what she and Spike had done last night. At first she had laughed it off because she just figured that Dru had wanted a little one on one action. But her eyes narrowed as she looked at her friend.

“Well, well, it seems that little Dru is getting a bit of a crush on the driver.” Darla looked coldly from one to the other. This feeling of being left out was not one she enjoyed. And she didn’t like this guy. Because he was the kind you fell for. The kind you put everything on the line for. If Dru went for him then it was going to be over for their friendship. Darla turned back to Spike.

“You do know that’s all we wanted you for isn’t it. A ride.” She confirmed all of his suspicions in that one sentence. It was almost a relief to know for sure. He laughed at her.

“Yeah, I did.”

He almost wished that he had a camera for the look on Darla’s face. Before anything else could be said the waitress came to take their orders. The topic switched to other things but through the meal the three of them would sneak look at the others as they tried to figure things out. Things had changed. And none of them was sure how to handle it.

Spike planned to take the girls the rest of the way to San Francisco and decide from there what to do. He had known when this had started what was what and came along anyway. If Darla was right and Dru did like him maybe it would be worth it to stay. He already knew that he could never love this girl but maybe they could just hang out over the summer and have fun. The possibility of sex was just part of it. She scared him with her kissing he would hate to see what would happen with being naked with her.

After they had eaten they had gone so he could fill the gas tank up so they wouldn’t have to stop for the rest of the trip. As he stood by the pump Drusilla had gotten out of the van and wrapped her arms around his waist from behind him. Her face was against his back.

“It wasn’t all just the ride.” She told him. “Not for me anyways.”

He ran his fingers across her arm and pulled away from her to put the nozzle back. After the van was secure he turned to her putting a gentle kiss on her lips. She pulled back from him to search his face. This was something new for her. A good boy. Someone that just wasn’t trying to get her to spread her legs and she didn’t know how to handle him.

“It’s time to go.” He held the van door for her waited for her to climb in and then closed it behind her.

Drusilla had crawled into the back with Darla when they were on their way again. They spent the rest of the trip there. Looking over the magazines or talking. Occasionally they would include him in one their discussions of music, the world and plans for college. As he listened to them he realized that they were just like everybody else with likes and dislikes and hopes and dreams. His mum always told him he expected too much from people and that was why he couldn’t make friends. He tried to fit people into slots and when they didn’t stay there he shied away from them.

Drusilla and Darla had moved out of the slot he had put them in. But instead of scaring him it was just making him accept them more. Funny they had been in school together for two years and not once had they talked. In the space of the last three days he had not only talked to them but had kissed them and learned about them. He liked it. The walls around him were beginning to break.

As they moved closer to the city the girls had come to share the front seat. Darla had to give him directions to her cousin’s place. He tried to look around him some as they moved through the streets but the hills and turns forced him to concentrate on his driving. Finally she directed him to a house that had several cars parked around it. He carefully pulled into the drive behind a new impala.

The girls practically jumped from the car before he had it in park. A man that couldn’t have been much older than them came running from the house. He picked Darla up and swung her around. Then after putting her down he gave Drusilla a bear hug. Spike moved closer to them and waited.

“Jesse, I want you to meet a friend of ours. This is Spike. Spike, this is my cousin, Jesse.”

The two of them shook hands while measuring the other up. Spike because supposedly this was where he was going to crash for a while. And for Jesse this was the guy who was driving his younger cousin across the state. But they relaxed after a quick appraisal letting the testosterone moment go. Jesse clapped Spike on the back as he suggested they get the bags so that everyone could get settled. The girls both had a couple of bags each while Spike only had the one. After they were loaded up with both of them complaining about the weight of their bags they led the way inside.

The house was one of those old Victorians that were all over this city. However, this one looked like it needed some taking care of. The paint was peeling in places outside and inside. As Spike followed Jesse inside an uneasy feeling moved through him again. It seemed like there were kids everywhere in the house. As he glanced into the living room he spotted drugs and paraphernalia piled on a table by the couch. The fragrance was heavy in the air. Jesse led them up the stairs telling them that about six other people were staying for the summer. But a lot more were hanging around the place at any given time.

He stopped in one room and said this was where the girls could stay. After leaving them with their bags he led Spike further down the hall to a room with four beds in it. Each was against a different wall.

“The bed over there isn’t being used. There are some sheets and stuff in the hallway closet. Make yourself at home. When you’re settled come back down.” And with that he turned and left Spike there.

Spike slowly turned around the room taking it in. This was definitely not what he had in mind when he had visualized this stay. He didn’t mind sharing a room but it was like some kind of shelter or worse a flop house. He sighed and threw his bag on the bed and moved out to the hall to find a bathroom. It was practically across the hall which wasn’t a bad thing. After he had relieved himself he found the closet pulling out some clean sheets.

There was a noise from the room he had just left making him turn to look to see who was there. One of the kids from downstairs was in the room. At first Spike couldn’t make out what he was doing but then he realized he was going through his bag.

“Hey, that’s mine.”

The kid turned toward Spike with bloodshot eyes.

“Calm down, man. Just checking to see if you had anything good to share.” Then he laughed as if it was funny to just help himself to other people’s stuff. Spike knew he was looking for drugs. It pissed him off that he had only been here only a few minutes and someone was already trying to steal from him. Not that he had what this kid was looking for.

After throwing the sheets on the bed he pulled the zipper across the bag then picked it up. He didn’t say anything else just made his way back down to the van. He figured that when he needed stuff he would just come down to get it. To always be worrying about shit being stolen would be a downer to whatever was going on. Once the van was securely locked and the keys in his pocket he went in search of the others.

Darla was talking somewhere to the left of the house. Spike followed her voice through a couple of rooms before finding them in the kitchen.

“This dope drove us all the way here based on some kisses. Do you believe it? And get this he’s paid for everything so far.” She laughed as she told her story to Jesse and a couple of the other kids. Spike froze as she started to talk again.

“So, we figure if we just keep stringing him along we have a personal slave for the summer. What are a few kisses and touchy feelys in exchange of being taken care of?”

Drusilla looked up as she felt his stare on her. The others caught on and looked his way too. Darla just laughed and shrugged her shoulders at him.

Whatever he was looking wasn’t here in this house. With these people. They seemed too lost and already a little too dead for him. They had given up hope and innocence. He didn’t want to lose his here. Like this. So, he turned and walked out back toward his van.

“Spike, wait.” Drusilla called out to him as she ran to catch up to him. He waited by the van until she got there.

“I’m sorry that you had to hear that. Darla can be a real bitch sometimes.” She tried to explain away what had happened.

“Sometimes?” He laughed at her comment. Darla was a bitch period. There were other sides to her but she was out to get what she wanted. No matter who got hurt.

Drusilla moved closer to him wrapping her arms around him.

“Stay. For me. We can have fun without her. Like last night.” She purred at him as she moved her body against him.

He took a strand of her long brown hair twirling it around his finger. An hour ago he might have given in to the elusive promise of future sex. But he had come to realize that he wanted more than this. He wanted someone to take care of not someone he had to continually try to keep up with. When he looked in a girl’s eyes he wanted to see wonder not indifference.

But he wasn’t one to deliberately hurt someone.

“Honestly, this isn’t my scene. I’m not going to fit in. Come with me. We can find some fun somewhere else.”

Spike waited as she looked from the house then back to him. With a sigh she shook her head.

“This is me.”

A quick kiss and then she turned to go back into the house. He knew she was as scared of being with him as he was of staying here and becoming like them. It wouldn’t have worked anyway he told himself as he climbed into the van. With a final look at the house he backed out of the drive and took off.

Chapter 3 - Face of Love

I gave a girl a ride in my wagon

She crawled in and took control

She was tired cause her mind was a draggin’

I said get some sleep

And dream of rock and roll

Spike didn’t know where to go or what to do. To go home less than twenty-four hours after he had left was too much for him to handle. It wasn’t his mum and step-father or even Angel that was making it hard to do. It wasn’t about being wrong. It was him. If he went back now he would never leave again. To go back now would take back the pride he had found. And the courage that he had dug from the very depths of his soul would vanish never to be found again. This was his chance to change his life. And he wanted it so badly. Just what it was that he wanted he didn’t know.

After about an hour or so of driving around he finally listened to the growling of his stomach. He pulled the van into the parking lot of a popular burger place. There was a space right next to the door that he pulled into quickly. He started to open his door when he saw her. She came hurrying out of the door coming in his direction.

“Oh my God. Is she a fox or what?” Was the only thing he could think of as he stared at her.

But as his eyes followed her she stopped right in the front of his van. She turned to face the guy who had been calling for her to stop. Spike sighed because of course if someone caught his eye she had to be taken or something. But he took a moment to appreciate her tanned petite body. She was small but still had curves in all the right places tucked away in cut off blue jean shorts and a pink peasant blouse. Long blond hair fell halfway down her back.

It would never happen except in his dreams he told himself. He stepped out of the van and came around the corner to walk past the couple who was deep in an argument. She was screaming at him about some other girl and then she slapped him. Spike took a step closer to the wall as she did. Then everything changed. The guy she was with raised a fist and was about to take a swing at her. Without thinking Spike raised his hand to catch the guy by the wrist.

The guy eyes went wide in surprise as he turned toward him. He pulled his arm free from Spike’s grasp. Spike stood his ground as he stepped closer to him. Even though the guy was bigger than him by about three inches and fifty pounds Spike didn’t move.

“Do you really want to be on the receiving end of my fist? Or do you want to mind your own business?” The guy stood over Spike trying to intimidate him into moving.

“Riley, come on. Leave him alone.” The girl grabbed the guy by the arm trying to move him. Spike looked briefly at her then back at her boyfriend.

“I think it’s really funny that you’re worried about me being hit by you. I am smaller than you but you know what, asshole, she is even smaller than me. Weren’t you worried about her being hit by you?”

Buffy gasped as the blonde stood up to Riley. No one messed with him. It just wasn’t done. Her eyes grew bigger as Riley pushed the blonde away from him. He stumbled but held his ground. She had to give him credit for that. Riley turned to her and she flinched. He had only hit her once before almost a year ago. It hadn’t happened again after she threatened to press charges. But slapping him was not the smartest choice she had ever made. Surprisingly he didn’t hit her this time. He just looked her over then walked past her. Buffy looked back at the blonde giving him a silent ‘thank you’ then hurried to follow Riley. But she stopped at the curb as Riley reached into the car and grabbed her stuff. The next thing she knew he had thrown her purse and overnight bag at her. They both fell to the ground as she threw her arms up to protect herself.

“I’m tired of playing babysitter to a little girl. I need someone who understands the needs of a man not a whimpering little bitch like you.” Riley told her cruelly as he moved to get into the car.

“Go to hell. And take that whore, Sandy, with you.” Buffy screamed at him as he put the car into reverse and squealed away from the restaurant. That was when the tears came in great gulping sobs. Her legs went out from under her and she ended up sitting on the curb with her head buried in her arms. She was several hundred miles away from home with no money. Her mom was never going to forgive her for this.

Spike laid a hand on her shoulder as she continued to cry. He had picked up her suitcase and purse putting them on the curb beside her then had come down to sit next to her. This was out of his realm of experience and wasn’t sure what to do. So, he patted her awkwardly on the back as she continued to cry. Suddenly she moved burying herself against him sobbing into his shirt. He wrapped his arm around her pulling her closer. His cheek rested against the softness of her hair.

The girl cried as if her whole world had shattered. Maybe this guy had been everything to her but he didn’t understand why. Not when he threatened her like that. Spike had heard her say another girl’s name and wondered why anyone would cheat on a girl that looked liked her. He didn’t try to stop her tears as he began to stroke her back. Her sobs eventually turned into sniffling and hiccupping. Then finally she sat up wiping her cheeks with the heels of her hands. Spike reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear.

“Hey, feeling any better?” He asked her with a smile on his face. Even with her eyes puffy and red she was still pretty. She nodded in response to his question but her gaze was somewhere on the entrance of the parking lot. Probably was hoping that her boyfriend would come back for her.

“What’s your name?” Spike tried again to get a response from her.

“Buffy.”

Spike gave a short laugh when she said her name. It definitely wasn’t the name he would have given her. She should have the name of a princess or something.

But his laugh got him the response he was looking for as she swung her head to look at him. Her eyes had narrowed into slits.

“My name is funny to you?” There was ice dripping from her words.

“Sorry. I just thought your name would be different. Actually, I’ve never met anyone with that name before.” Spike tried to cover up his rudeness by declaring surprise.

“So, what is your name?” She was still angry with him as she stared at him.

As Spike returned her look he realized how close they were to each other. When she had taken her head off his chest she hadn’t scooted away. They were still sitting right next to each other and as they looked at each other their faces were only inches apart. He swallowed as this knowledge swept through him.

“Umm, Spike. It’s a nickname. My real name is William.” He wanted to hit himself in the forehead as he stumbled out the words. Her eyes widened as he spoke then closed slightly as he finished. He felt her arm move from between them and then her fingers were moving through his hair.

“Spike. For the spikey hair.”

The only thing he could do was nod as she moved against him. Her breasts were rubbing against his arm as she played with his hair. Blue eyes met green eyes in a mutual awareness. As it moved through them she quickly took back her hand. The entrance once again became the recipient of her gaze. Spike sighed as he wondered what to do now. A car pulled into the space they were sitting at and they had to scramble up to avoid being hit.

“Did you eat yet?” Spike looked down at her as she looked everywhere but at him. Buffy shook her head no to answer his question.

“There’s a diner down the street. Why don’t we go there, get something to eat and then maybe we can figure something out for you?”

Her eyes finally moved to look at him as she wondered if she could trust him. It was either go with him or call her mom now. As far as she was concerned the longer she waited to call the better she would feel. Spike couldn’t be that bad of a guy if he had kept Riley from punching her.

“Okay.”

Relief coursed through Spike’s body when she agreed to go with him. There was no way he was going to leave her alone until he knew she was safe. He bent to pick up her suitcase and purse. After handing her the purse he led the way to the van. The suitcase was stored in the back and Buffy settled in the front passenger seat. On the way to the diner she stared out the window not acknowledging him at all. But Spike was getting used to girls doing this to him. Buffy was the fourth one in only three days to treat him like this.

But he continued to play the gentleman as he helped her down from the van. Leading her into the diner and then waiting for her to take a seat before he sat. Deciding to ignore her he opened the menu after lighting a cigarette. He slouched down in the seat as he tried to decide what he wanted. A finger came into his view point. It was slowly drawing an imaginary picture on the table. Buffy hadn’t opened her menu but was staring down at the table and doing her drawings.

“What’s wrong? Aren’t you hungry?”

She didn’t look up at his question just continued her finger movement. Spike reached a hand out to stop her. As his hand covered hers she looked up at him through her bangs. But she left her hand there.

“Riley has my money. He said that he would keep it safe for me.”

She wasn’t playing. Or trying to be coy. She was truly embarrassed that she didn’t have any money with her. Her cheeks were tinged pink.

“We’ll work it out later. Get what you want.”

“I don’t want to feel obligated to you.”

“You won’t be. I told you that we would work it out later.” Then as she looked at him funny he realized what she was thinking. That he would want her to put out for it. He laughed out loud at that one. At the rate he was going he would die a virgin. Buying a meal for Buffy would not do anything to help him change things. “Money. You can pay me back later. “And as she continued to look at him he added. “Really.”

A quick smile graced her face as she opened the menu. The tension eased away from them as she accepted his generosity. She wasn’t using him to get what she wanted. He took a drag from his cigarette smiling at the knowledge. It was going to be equal between them.

Once they had placed their orders and their sodas brought to the table they didn’t have anything to distract them. Spike ran a finger across his glass wiping away the condensation. Following the advice of someone who had once tried to help him make friends he started to ask questions.

“How long have you been with Riley?”

She sighed long and deep.

“Forever. Since I was a sophomore.”

“Are you still in school?”

“No, just graduated. And you?”

He smiled at her as she turned the questions back to him.

“The same.”

She smiled back at him and lifted her glass. His head tilted as he tried to figure out what she was doing.

“A toast. Raise your glass.”

Buffy gestured toward his glass. He quickly followed her direction and lifted his glass in the air.

“To the class of 1976.” She started the toast.

“In the year of our country’s bicentennial.” He continued.

“To its independence and to ours.” She finished.

They both laughed as their glasses clinked together. After that conversation between them became easier. They relaxed as they talked about things. He told her almost everything that had happened to him in the past few days. Leaving out certain details like the fact that Drusilla and Darla had been his first kisses. He asked her about Riley again. This time she was more open about the details.

“We started dating two years ago. I was the cheerleader and he was the football player. The perfect couple or so everyone said. Homecoming King and Queen. The whole bullshit.” She leaned back in her seat and moved to prop her feet up next to him on the booth seat. Her foot rested against his leg causing chills to run through him. “This was our first trip together. Doing the adult thing. And I catch him last night with some slut. God, I hate him.”

Spike wasn’t sure what to say to her. It seemed that this guy had really done a number on her. But then she seemed to have been buying into the lifestyle. Being the perfect ones. Just like Cecily. He took a long drink while looking at her.

Buffy reached up to wipe a tear away from her face.

“I was so stupid. Thought if I did everything I was supposed to do then I’d be happy. That he would love me forever. Hell, I even lost my virginity on Prom Night when I was supposed to.”

Buffy stopped talking when Spike began to choke on his drink. His face started to turn red as he kept coughing. Just when he would begin to feel in control again he would remember what she said and would start to choke again. Buffy moved from behind her side of the booth to pound him on the back. Then as he finally gained control she slid into the booth next to him causing him to scoot closer to the wall.

“Sorry, I guess that was a stupid thing to tell you.” Then she giggled as he kept staring at her in disbelief. The sight of her relaxing into a bundle of giggles caused him to smile. Then to chuckle. The two of them ended up laughing together until they were given unhappy stares by the other patrons.

“Do you ever do anything because it’s what you want to?” He asked her after they had settled down and their food had been brought to them.

Buffy turned to look at him as she slowly munched on a French Fry. Her gaze made him uncomfortable as she seemed to be contemplating something major. Then as if she made a decision she shrugged her shoulders and returned to eating. Spike just shook his head at her. The girl went from one extreme to another in just moments leaving him too dazed to follow.

They didn’t talk much as they finished their food. Just conversation on what was going on around them and the things that were news worthy for the day. Buffy stayed sitting next to him warming him with her body heat. The scent of Love’s Baby Soft filling his senses making him even more bemused.

This girl next to him was like being on a roller coaster. The build up of just being near her giving false security then the rapid blinding fall taking your breath away with curves that made you laugh as you went from one extreme to another. He wanted to stay beside her for a while to figure out what made her so exciting. But she would be gone soon nothing more than a memory of this bizarre summer.

As he swallowed the last bite of his hamburger he garnered enough courage to ask her about what she wanted to do.

“Where do you live?’ He asked her tentatively. It went without saying that he would be shot down not matter what he did. But he figured at least he had to give it a chance.

“Sunnydale.” When he gave her a blank look indicating he didn’t know where that was she told him that it was an hour and a half this side of Los Angeles.

“I could give you a ride if you like.”

“Okay.”

Spike’s eyes widened at the casual agreement she gave to his offer. He just nodded at her as she smiled at him. When they left the table she moved to call her mom to tell her of the change in her plans. He had handed her his license so that she could give her mom the information. Buffy hadn’t asked he had offered. It was to make her feel safe with him even though she seemed to be comfortable with riding with him after only knowing him less than two hours.

After he paid their ticket he wandered outside to smoke a cigarette while Buffy made her call. He crouched down in front of the diner to watch some ants move across the sidewalk. A pair of feet came into his view on the other side of the stream of insects. He looked up to see Riley looking down at him. Spike couldn’t help but chuckle as he straightened up. The other boy was trying so hard to be ‘in’ that it was laughable. He was dressed in Earth shoes, overalls and around his neck was a Puka shell necklace. His hair hung down to his shoulder. There wasn’t an original thing about him. Just a regular guy. Like a million others.

“Where’s Buffy?”

Spike nodded toward the diner.

“She’s calling her mom. To let her know what you did and that she has a ride home.” Spike added the last bit to get some digs in and it made him feel more worthy to tell this guy that his girl was riding with him. He straightened as much as he could to try to stare this guy down.

“Don’t get your hopes up. I came to get her.”

It was at that moment that Buffy came out of the restaurant toward them. Her smile faded when she saw Riley standing there. A frown replaced the smile that she had while her footsteps faltered as she made her way to Spike’s side. Riley frowned at her as she stopped next to Spike watching him with a defiant tilt of her head.

“Get your stuff, baby. We can work all this out.” Riley reached a hand out to Buffy but she pulled her arm away from him. “Don’t do this. You know I love you. Now come on let’s go.”

“No. I have a ride home with Spike.”

Riley sighed as he figured she was playing a game with him. That she wanted him to beg her to come back to him. It wasn’t something he wanted to do in front of her little blond hero.

“Buffy, get your stuff and come with me.” He practically growled it at her. “You don’t know who this guy is or what he is capable of. Or what he will want you to do for the ride.”

Buffy reached into her pocket to hand Spike his license and registration back to him. She made sure that Riley knew what was being passed between them. After turning back to Riley she put her hand out toward him.

“My money, please.”

He rolled his eyes but reached into the chest pocket of his overalls to pull out a small wad of cash. After Buffy took the money from him she peeled off a few dollars to hand to Spike.

“For my dinner.”

Spike smiled when he caught on to what she was doing. She smiled back at him as she handed him some more cash.

“And this is for my share of gas.”

“Equals.” Spike told her.

“Independent.” Buffy responded.

They both laughed at their agreement not to be dependent on each other or to hold power over the other. It made both of them feel good to have someone that they could just be around without pressure.

Spike reached over to slip an arm around Buffy’s shoulder as she slipped an arm around his waist. As they started to walk away Buffy looked over her shoulder to Riley.

“Bye, Riley. See ya around.”

She started to laugh again as she cut the last of the ties to a relationship that was making her miserable. Actually it made both of them miserable. Riley would eventually thank her for this.

As they left Riley standing there Spike couldn’t resist sticking up his middle finger toward the guy that had hurt Buffy.

“Fuck both of you.” That was the last thing they heard Riley say as they climbed into the van. They continued to laugh as they made their way to the entrance ramp of the highway. After that they both settled down in a companionable silence. He drove while fantasizing of the girl next to him as she stared out the window. Buffy had curled into the seat resting on her feet as she leaned against the passenger door.

Spike fiddled with the radio changing the channel from what Drusilla had put it on earlier. As he was going through the stations Buffy called for him to stop on a song. It was a song by Linda Ronstadt that had been popular the year before. As he left it there she started to sing along to it.

Feeling better, now that we’re through

Feeling better, because I’m over you

I’ve learned my lesson, it left a scar

Now I see how you really are

“Sing with me, Spike!” Buffy reached a hand over to swat him on the arm when he shook his head no. “Please.”

Then she started to sing louder raising her arms over her head moving to the music. Spike laughed as she really started to belt the song out. Shyly at first he started to sing with her then finally let go and joined her in a concert of freedom.

You’re no good, You’re no good, You’re no good

Baby, you’re no good, I’m gonna say it again,

Baby, you’re no good.

But as the song ended she seemed to collapse again. A tear wound its way down her cheek.

“You okay?” He reached a hand over to gently run a finger down her arm. Buffy leaned her head against the glass reaching a hand up to wipe away the tear.

“Yeah, I guess.” She sniffled softly before turning to him. “Why wasn’t I happy? I always did what I was supposed to do.”

“That’s why. You did your duty but you weren’t ever just Buffy.”

She nodded her head at his explanation before turning back to watch the scenery going by. It was getting dark by this time so she really wasn’t seeing very much.

“Buffy.”

She turned back to him as he called her name softly.

“Why don’t you crawl in the back and get some sleep? You look pretty tired.”

“You sure you don’t mind?” She asked him as she started to turn to head in the back. But she didn’t move out of her seat until he had told her it was all right. As she moved between the seats Spike turned to look at her bottom as she moved by. He gripped his lower lip between his teeth as the softly curved picture passed by him. Then as she moved into the back he watched her in the rear view mirror. His eyes darted between her and the road as she settled onto his bed. The speed of the van began to increase as his cock got harder.

Buffy stretched out on the bed lying on her back. Her hair flowed around her with the moon light dancing off it. Her legs were brown against the whiteness of the sheets. All Spike could think of was crawling back there with her but knew he couldn’t. They were equal. Independent. Friends. To hit on her would violate their agreement. He groaned softly as he adjusted his jeans to make himself more comfortable.

“Spike?”

Her voice was barely above a whisper above the sound of the van moving along the road. He glanced back at her as she lay there.

“Yeah, Buffy?”

He figured that she needed to make a pit stop or something. He started to look for a rest stop sign when she brought his world crashing to a stop.

“Why don’t you find some place to stop so you can come back here with me?”