Chapter 22

Elizabeth was to look back on the fishing trip as one of the happiest times of her life. Comradeship, love, the soothing warmth of a summer's evening. The moon washing the world silver. The gentle rocking of the boat. The expression on William's face when he caught his first fish. Precious memories each one of them, but there had been something else that evening that had ensured it a place in her heart forever.

A moment when they were all lying down on the beach, looking at the almost - full moon holding court amongst the stars. Her head in William's lap, each of them quiet and caught up in the stillness and calm of the night. It had felt to Elizabeth, just then, that the whole of the universe had suddenly moved into perfect harmony. As if, at some silent command, each and every living thing had shifted to its rightful place, where it could be happy and content. She suddenly felt as though she were a part of something so vast, so complicated and yet so simple, that she could see and feel everything. Just for a split second she understood perfectly that they were all part of something so much bigger than their individual selves, and for that one moment she was utterly content and at peace.

Despite the awful thing that had happened to her, and the thought of what might be to come, she was able to feel it, and for that she murmured a silent prayer of thanks. The memory of this moment would sustain her, and keep her, and remind her that happiness was often right under our noses and it only required that we be able to recognise it. When she needed it, this memory would still be there, no one would ever take it away from her, and she'd be able to go to it in her mind and relive the happiness whenever she wanted to, no matter where she was.

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As he lay on the beach, Elizabeth's head in his lap, William considered the possibility that nothing in his life would ever match this moment. He thought he'd been happy when they'd first made love, and of course, he had been. And then last night in the chapel they'd pledged themselves to each other and he'd wondered how they'd ever surpass that. But this moment had crept up on him quietly and without ceremony, and as he gazed up at the moon and the infinite number of stars, he realised for the first time who he really was. He'd never properly known before. Had spent endless hours gazing in the mirror wondering what other people saw, and thinking that's who he was. And even when Buffy had come along, he thought he'd seen himself in her, but he knew now that he wasn't any of those people.

He was William. A person in his own right. He wasn't someone who existed just because other people said he did. And he wasn't the invisible boy who lived in the old, dark house anymore. He didn't love Buffy just because he wanted her to love him. He loved her because of who she was, and even if she stopped loving him he'd still love her.

The moment passed almost as quickly as it came upon him, and when later he tried to recall it he almost felt as if he'd dreamed it. But something very profound had happened to him that night. Buffy needed his help, and he knew now that he'd give it without thought of himself. It was a good feeling. It meant he could think more clearly, act more rationally. And that's what she needed right now, and it was what Alex was offering her. A solid, reliable champion who would stand at her back, no matter what. Alex must realise that he stood no chance with her, yet he was there anyway.

William almost laughed out loud at the thought that he should learn any lessons from Alex, but as he watched his foster- brother throwing more sticks on the fire and turning the roasting fish, he understood what Buffy had been trying to say to him. They were all different, but together they made a formidable team. And he was glad that fate had cast him as the intellectual rather than the action hero, because if they'd had to wait for him to provide an impromptu meal on a campfire at night, then they'd probably have all starved. He vaguely wondered if the moonlight might be as bad for him as the sun was, but he'd felt no ill effects, so he took a deep breath and muttered a quiet prayer of thanks, because just at that moment he had nothing else to do but be happy.

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Elizabeth dragged the sack of flour from the pantry and hauled it to the table. Then she tied on her apron and picked up a scoop. The only time she'd made bread before coming here had been when Cook had let her help as a little girl. Apart from that she'd never really had to concern herself with such day to day trivia as this. Her father may have been foolish with money, but he'd always managed to find it for the things that helped them to 'keep up their appearances.' And having a cook had been one of them. But here, if they wanted to eat bread then it fell to her or Tara to make it, and today Elizabeth had said she'd do it. Besides, she was getting rather good at it, even if she did say so herself. Not as good as Tara, obviously, but she was getting there.

She turned to look for the large mixing bowl and saw William walking into the kitchen. He came up behind her, slipped his arms around her waist and kissed the top of her head.

"Not ready yet? Come on, I'm hungry."

Elizabeth leaned back into his embrace and closed her eyes, remembering how wonderful last night had been, and thinking how different William had been when they'd returned to the house. It wasn't a radical change, but she'd felt it and was feeling it now. His anxieties and jealousies of yesterday seemed to have given way to calm acceptance of things, as if he'd come to a decision of sorts. She didn't know what it was, but he had an air of quiet determination about him this morning, and she liked him like this. Not that she hadn't liked him before, but it was nice to see him coming out of himself and showing more confidence. To have him tease her for a change without that underlying anxiety that he might not be getting it right.

He was doing it now. Telling her that the bread should have been ready, and what had she been doing all morning?

"You know full well where I've been this morning," she said, swatting him away and picking up the bowl. "If you require bread for lunch, then you should not keep me so occupied."

He moved good-naturedly to a chair and sat down. "I don't recall any protests on your part, madam. And hurry up with that bread, I find I've worked up quite a hunger."

Elizabeth put down the bowl and walked over to him, hips swaying.

"Oh, you have, have you?" She threatened him with a floury hand, but he ducked out of her reach. "If you're not careful, I shall have you make the bread, and I shall sit on that chair and complain."

William laughed, pulled her down for a swift kiss, then spun her around and gave her a little push back towards the table, patting her on the bottom as he did so. "I don't think so. As you pointed out last night, I am a lord, and lords don't make bread."

Elizabeth suppressed a grin at his playful behaviour. She liked it when he teased her, but that didn't mean she was going to stop teasing him. She was just formulating a suitable reply when Alex came in, his face taking on a look of considerable disappointment when he realised that lunch wasn't anywhere near ready yet.

He went over to the sink and worked the pump, rinsing out his hands, then shaking the water off to dry them. "I'm starving," he said, looking at her as if she should have realised that. "Thought it'd be ready by now."

Elizabeth looked from one to the other. William was still smirking at her and Alex was looking forlornly at the bowl of flour. She gave them a sweet smile and reached for her apron strings. "I think I might take myself off to see the new kittens in the barn. Lunch is going to be delayed today. Unless of course one of you would like to make the bread?" She pulled the knot free, raised her eyebrows and held out the apron.

"Which one of you would like this?"

William shook his head vigorously and looked at Alex, who hastily backed away a few steps.

"Don't look at me, I can't make no bread. I'll go get mother."

"Tara is busy," Elizabeth said, biting at her lip to stop herself laughing. She wasn't going to take this too far, because she didn't want to squash William's new found confidence. But neither was she going to stand here and let them talk to her like this. It was only a bit of fun really but it would be amusing to see what happened if they took her up on her challenge.

"Are you saying that men are not capable of something that a mere woman does with ease?"

William turned back to her. "Men do not make bread because it is a woman's job, not because they are incapable of doing it."

"Is that right?" Elizabeth handed him the apron and deftly side -stepped him. "Then you can prove it to me. I shall give you an hour, and when I return I expect to find the kitchen awash with the aroma of freshly baking loaves."

William's smirk wavered just a little as he bunched up the apron in his hand. "And you will." He didn't sound too convincing as he stepped up to the table and looked dubiously at the bowl of flour. "How hard can this be? Alex, don't you dare leave. Come here, I'm going to need your help."

The last thing Elizabeth saw as she left the kitchen was the two of them still staring at the bowl, and she suspected that that's where she would find them when she returned.

By the time she'd got to the barn she was almost doubled up with laughter. Tara wasn't going to be pleased because there was no way that those two were going to produce anything edible, but it might serve to show them just how easy this so-called woman's work was. She made her way to the small alcove where one of the garden cats had had her litter of kittens, and looked about for them. They were all semi - feral, but this one didn't seem to mind Elizabeth being around her babies. The cat jumped down from the nest and arched it's back as Elizabeth stroked it, then it settled down to eat the piece of rabbit meat that she'd brought as a peace offering.

"Oh you pretty little darlings."

Elizabeth was crouching down to reach for one of the kittens, when she was suddenly aware of movement behind her. Typical, she thought. It had been no more than five minutes and already they were after her for help. She straightened herself again, a smile hovering on her lips, and spun round, fully expecting to see William or Alex but instead, Ethan stood behind her, blocking her exit from the stall. He wasn't moving and she had no idea how long he'd been there, but he didn't look as if he was making a social call. In fact, he was looking at her in a way he'd never done before and Elizabeth knew then that this was it. The time that she'd been dreading had come. He nodded his head toward a straw bale, indicating that he wanted her to sit down, but even though she thought she'd known this moment was coming, she was totally unprepared for the overwhelming feeling of panic that descended as he moved towards her.

Instead of doing as he wanted she put down her head and tried to walk steadfastly past him, but he had her trapped. As he grabbed her by the upper arm and propelled her backwards and down on to the straw, her mind flashed back to the night she'd killed Caleb. Then she had found something inside her that had given her a strength she didn't know she possessed, but Ethan was no Caleb. Caleb had been evil, but Ethan, as he stood before her, looked to be the very devil himself. She staggered a little, trying not to sit but he pushed her firmly down and stood over her, still holding her arm. He gave her a shake as she clawed at it, trying to get him to release her, but his grip was like iron, and he wasn't going to let go.

She raised her eyes to his and was surprised to find, after his initial roughness, that he was smiling genially at her, and the thought crossed her mind that perhaps he didn't know anything, after all, but then why would he be behaving like this? He obviously knew full well what she'd done, but what was he going to do now?

"What do you want?" Her voice came out a little shakily and she wasn't sure how to pitch it. Haughty and arrogant might make him think she was sneering at him, and that would only make him mad, but when she'd struggled against Caleb that had only seemed to excite him more. There wasn't much she could do about it though, as she was just so terrified at that moment that she really had no option but to look so.

Caleb had had that edge of desperation about him that had meant that he wasn't entirely in control of the situation, but Ethan looked so calm standing there, considering his answer to her question. And she couldn't move, so she stopped trying to, and instead concentrated on breathing, because suddenly it was a struggle to do even that. Perhaps she could negotiate with him, because surely he wouldn't want the law here? She already half suspected that he was involved in smuggling as Alex had had to find out, somewhat mysteriously, if it was alright to use the cove on the previous evening. And she knew that Ethan had said no to some of their other excursions. It was all she had, but the thought of trying to outsmart him didn't seem too wise at that moment.

He shook his head, almost as if he knew what she was thinking, and was warning her not to even try.

"Depends what you have to offer."

That made her take notice. Both for the fact that he seemed willing to negotiate, which gave her a small spark of hope, and also because he suddenly didn't sound quite as rustic as he usually did.

"Who are you?"

"Never you mind who I am, Elizabeth Summers."

He stepped back, letting go of her arm. Watching her, a slightly amused expression on his face as she struggled to hide her reaction to him calling her by her real name.

She rubbed at her arm where he'd held her, wondering how much of her story he knew, and what she could possibly have that would buy his silence. He stopped looking at her face then, and dropped his gaze, moving it slowly down her body, letting her know exactly what he was after.

Liked them young, the younger the better.

Tara's words about Ethan rang in her ears as he watched her, and for a moment the fighting spirit came back. How dare he do this? It seemed to her at that moment that all a man ever wanted from a woman was to take her to bed and use her for his own pleasure. First Caleb and now Ethan. She forgot how noble William had been about it all. Forgot that it had been her who had forced the issue of them sleeping together when he would have waited. As she raised her chin and faced Ethan, she vowed that she would never give in to him. It didn't matter how much he threatened her, she wasn't going to go to his bed. She'd been saved from jumping from the cliff path and William would save her again. He'd said he would, and now she really needed him to.

But could she really ask it of him? Ethan's next speech made her realise, with a sinking heart, that she could not.

"I suppose you are thinking about running to William?" Ethan shook his head and laughed to himself. "He's a pretty lad, isn't he? Or perhaps Alex will run to your defence?" He cocked his head as he noticed her reaction to Alex's name. "Are you spreading your legs for him too? It seems that you have found your vocation, Elizabeth."

"I am not sleeping with Alex." She tried to stand, but he pushed her easily down again, and she almost landed on the nest of kittens. The mother cat spat angrily as Ethan's hand shot out and picked one of them up. Elizabeth watched him, wide eyed as he dangled it by the scruff of its neck while it mewed pitifully for its mother.

"But he will defend me if he has to, make no mistake about that, and so will William. Let me go Ethan, what more could you possibly want from this estate? It's fairly obvious that you are stealing William's money."

He nodded in agreement, stroking the kitten as he spoke.

"You are an intelligent woman, so I'll not insult you by trying to deny that. But you see, you can never have too much money. Come Elizabeth, you must have something to offer me besides a quick tumble."

"And if I haven't, what will you do?" She couldn't take her eyes off the kitten. Ethan was holding it by its tail now, watching her reaction to its suffering. He suddenly flung it back into the nest and she jumped as he did so.

"Well," he considered for a moment. "I think I shall break each of William's fingers in turn, then I shall beat Alex so hard that he will not have a face left. Is that enough to persuade you?

She shook her head, fighting against the sudden wave of nausea that the images had conjured.

"You cannot fight both of them, they will fight you together, and Tara will not stand by and let it happen. And I will tell them what you intend to do."

"Elizabeth, Elizabeth." He took a step towards her and bent down, leaning an elbow on one knee. "You would not even have left this barn before I had done it. Do not make the mistake of thinking I am another Caleb."

"But I have nothing to give you." Elizabeth shrank back as his face hovered near to hers. It was just too horrible to think about, but he had her. If she didn't give him something then he was going to call the law in. For herself she had no concern, but for William and Alex? William had he would die for her, but she didn't want him to. Didn't want him to do that, just to save her. She wasn't worth his life. And what use would it be, for without him, how could she go on anyway?

Suddenly she remembered that she was wearing William's mother's ring. As she wrenched it from her finger she reminded herself that it was just an object, a material thing. William would still love her without it, and he'd understand. Only she'd never be able to tell him where it went.

"Here, take this. It must be valuable."

She extended it to Ethan, who took it, a slightly puzzled look on his face.

"Where did you get this?"

"It was my mother's. I've had it with me all this time, and I've only now chosen to start wearing it."

He twirled it between his fingers and raised his eyebrows. "And where are the rest of them?"

Elizabeth felt tears pricking at the back of her eyes. She blinked, hoping that they wouldn't spill in front of him. Tried to keep her voice firm and unwavering as she answered him, but failed miserably.

"I don't know what you mean, I..." She didn't finished the sentence because, in one swift movement he had her on her back, his knee between her legs and his hand at her throat.

"I'm getting tired of this, Elizabeth. I think William gave you this ring, because you are wearing it on your marriage finger. I also think that there are probably more where this came from and I want them. Am I making myself clear?"

He released his grip for a moment so that she could nod, then he pressed down again with such force that she thought she might pass out. And he was a solid weight on her, leaving her in no doubt as to his strength and his ability to carry out his threat against William and Alex. Or to do as he wished with her if he so chose.

Then, just as quickly, he was off her and stepping away. She sat up, coughing, her hand at her neck. Hoping it wouldn't bruise because she had no idea how she was going to explain the marks to William without putting him in danger.

Ethan made a tutting noise with his tongue, as if he were scolding a child. "You really have no right in wearing an engagement ring, you know. Not when you are already engaged. Isn't that known as a breach of promise?"

Elizabeth's hand stilled as she rubbed at her throat. "What do you mean? Caleb is dead, how can I still be engaged to him?"

And then it hit her.

The truth of the matter hit her so hard that it nearly knocked her down. Her heart started such a slow heavy thudding that it hurt, and her eyes scanned Ethan's face wildly for evidence that he was lying. But his triumphant look told her that he was not.

Caleb was still alive, and she wasn't a murderer. The world blurred about her as she struggled with the full implication of what she was hearing.

"Yes. He didn't die after all, and you all this time thinking that he had? Of course he's half mad now from the rather large hole in his head that you left him with, but he wants you back. No, don't worry." He raised his hands. "I haven't told him you're here. Not yet anyway. The reward is not nearly enough for me to squander my advantage at this stage. So listen carefully, and I'll explain what we are going to do."

She must have looked as if she was going to faint, because she certainly felt as if she would. Caleb was alive, my god, she wasn't going to hell after all. She didn't need to because she was already there, right now. She felt Ethan grab her arm once more and steady her, his face coming close to hers to make sure she heard what he had to say.

"You are going to pretend that you fell in the barn and that will explain the bruise on your arm. Then tonight you will bring the jewels here and leave them..." he looked around for a suitable hiding place and pointed to a small ledge. "Leave them up there, are you listening?"

She managed a small nod, but his voice sounded very far away against the roaring in her ears. This sounded just like another conversation. One she'd had with Caleb on the night that had changed her life. How could Caleb be alive? He hadn't been breathing, she'd seen it.

Ethan shook her once more. She swallowed the painful lump in her throat and tried to focus her attention on what he was saying. He could have the jewels, why was he making such a fuss? The safety of William and Alex was worth far more than a box full of jewels.

"Are you listening?"

"Yes, Ethan. You will have your jewels, but in return no one will get hurt, and Caleb will not find out that I am here. Is that agreed?"

"Don't presume to dictate terms to me young lady. I may yet require more than the jewels in return for my silence. I assume you would do anything to keep William and Alex safe?"

A tremendous weariness descended on her then as she realised that she would never win against him, and also what he'd just said was true. Always better that she suffered, than those she loved did. If Ethan wanted her then she'd let him have her. If William was willing to die for her, then surely she could do this for him? It wouldn't be nice, but it wouldn't kill her either, and William need never know.

She raised her face to Ethan's and looked him straight in the eye.

"Don't underestimate me, Ethan. I am doing this for William and Alex, and for that reason alone. My own life is worth nothing to me. I meant to kill Caleb and understand that if you do hurt them, you will have me to answer to."

"Fighting spirit? I was wondering when you were going to show it and," he leaned very close to her once more, so close that she could smell his breath, "I like it." He straightened again and clapped his hands together, as if bringing a meeting to a close. "So, you are all safe for now, just bring me the jewels tonight and be prepared to linger awhile, and no one need know about our little conversation." And with those words he spun on his heels and strode out of the barn.

Elizabeth tried to stand up but her legs were so shaky that they wouldn't hold her. She felt behind her for the hay bale, and lowered herself back down, then all she could do was just hug herself and shake from the shock of what had just happened. The storm had broken and everyone's safety lay in her hands as it had done all along. She'd always known that. From the moment she'd arrived she'd put them all in danger, and for the first time since she'd taken shelter here she wished that she hadn't come. A brief thought of running away again crossed her mind but she dismissed it as soon as it came. Ethan would only carry out his threat. No, she'd endure this and get through it because she had to.

And William couldn't see her like this. One of the kittens crept into her lap as she curled up into a ball and closed her eyes.

We'll get through this, we'll get through this.

It went over and over in her mind, and soon there was nothing but that. If she said it enough, then it would be true. So she just kept saying it.

And an hour later she was still saying it.

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Alex made his way across the yard that led to the barn. William had sent him to find Elizabeth because the bread-making had been a complete disaster, and all they had to show were two flat, rather burnt looking objects that no more resembled bread than he did. If Tara saw that there was nothing for lunch, she wasn't going to be pleased. Neither was Ethan.

As he thought of his father, Alex saw the man himself crossing the garden. He instinctively ducked into a doorway to avoid him, and he couldn't help smiling as he saw Ethan climbing the kitchen steps. William could explain why there wasn't any lunch, he was supposed to be the master here, wasn't he? Let him take the blame for a change.

He waited until Ethan had disappeared into the house, then he made his way into the barn where the kittens were, making a mental note not to be rude to Buffy about her bread making skills in future. It had always looked so easy when the women did it, but he and William hadn't had a clue what to do. Tara's bread was always light and fluffy, but theirs looked like a stone. Ethan wasn't going to be pleased at all, he liked his food, and he liked it on time.

He called softly for Buffy as his eyes adjusted to the dim interior of the barn, thinking that he wouldn't go back in the house if Ethan was going to be in a bad mood. He'd rather be hungry than be beaten up. He called again, stooping to stroke the mother cat as she approached him looking for food.

"Don't 'ave anything for you. Where's Buffy, eh?"

The cat looked at him as if it should know what he was talking about and that made him laugh. "You seen 'er then?"

At this the cat took off across the barn. It was probably coincidental that she led him straight to where Buffy was lying, but that made him laugh again. "Gonna take you 'unting with me if you carry on like this. Buffy?"

It took him a moment to realise that she was lying down, and that she seemed to be talking to herself. He put a hand on her shoulder and called her again.

"Buffy, you alright?"

She jumped so violently at his touch that it made him jump too, and for a few seconds they both just stared at each other, breathing heavily.

"God, Buffy, but you did make me jump. My 'eart nearly stopped. Were you asleep?"

"Was I?" Buffy sat up and looked around, running a hand through her hair, then rubbing at her arm.

He noticed and nodded towards it. "'Ave you 'urt yourself?"

"What? Oh my arm." She dropped her hand rather too quickly he thought, and shook her head. "It's nothing, I fell over and bumped it. How did the bread -making go?"

He grinned at this. "Total disaster. Just left William to explain to Ethan why there's nothing for lunch. Wouldn't want to be in 'is shoes."

"You did? You left him with Ethan?"

"Don't worry, Ethan won't kill 'im just because there's no lunch. You sure you're okay? You don't look too good."

"No, I'm fine, but I don't like William being alone with Ethan. Will you go back there and be with him?"

"Not likely." Alex shook his head and stood aside, motioning Elizabeth towards the door. "Come on, I'll walk back with you, but I'm not coming in if 'e's there."

They walked the short distance across the yard in silence, Alex glancing at Buffy occasionally and wondering why she wouldn't meet his eye. She was usually so open and full of smiles, and had been only an hour ago. He'd thought she'd have laughed at their predicament with the bread, but it had barely registered with her, and she had a look in her eye. He'd seen it before, but not for a long while, not since that night they'd found her on the cliff road. And her hand kept straying to her arm, and to her throat. Something was wrong, but she didn't seem about to tell him.

As they reached the back steps she stopped and looked at him.

"Are you coming back in?"

"If you want me to." He didn't want to go in, but she didn't look as if she wanted to, either. She was staring at the backdoor as if she expected the devil himself to emerge from it, then looking at him as if he should do something. But she wasn't telling him what and he was finding it very confusing, so he stuck his hands in his pockets and just waited as she decided what she was going to do.

"I do want you to Alex." She gave him a small smile, which made him feel a little better. "You cannot mean to let William take all the blame for the awful bread?"

"That was the idea. What's wrong Buffy?"

"Nothing Alex, I hurt my arm, that's all. Come on, let's go inside."

"I can 'elp you Buffy. Whatever it is you're 'iding from. Let me 'elp."

She turned to him and the flash of sadness that clouded her face was there so briefly that he almost thought he'd imagined seeing it. But he knew that he had. Knew by the way that she was now smiling too brightly at him, and linking her arm in his and pulling him up the steps with her that something was terribly wrong. And it wasn't the something that she'd arrived with, this was something else.

He knew they all thought him too stupid to realise what was going on most of the time, and there were certain advantages to that because it meant people left you alone. But it also meant that you got to hear and see things that you might not have been supposed to. And he'd been watching Ethan these last few days. Seen the way he'd looked at Buffy when her back had been turned, and he knew that his father was up to something. Ethan always had some scheme on the go, Alex remembered the times when, as a small child, he'd been given letters to deliver to the gate to some mysterious person or other. That hadn't happened since he'd been old enough to question why he was doing it, but Buffy was hiding here for a reason. A reason that involved large amounts of blood, and of course his father would find out what she'd done. And if there was any advantage to him, then he'd take it.

Alex smiled back at her, because that's what she wanted him to do, but he decided to watch his father very carefully. Something had happened to her while she was in the barn and if she wasn't going to tell him then he'd just have to find out.

He opened the kitchen door and peered round, relieved that Ethan seemed to have left.

"It's alright Buffy, 'es gone. It was Ethan you were worried about, wasn't it?"

But all he got in response to his question was another smile and a declaration that Ethan didn't worry her in the slightest. But he didn't believe her for one minute.

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William put down his book and rose from the chair. He wasn't particularly looking forward to showing Buffy their bread-making effort. For some reason, the loaves had flatly refused to rise, even though he was sure they'd done everything correctly. At least she looked in a good mood, he thought as he stood between her and the offending articles.

"Erm, it didn't go very well." Alex stood by him as she walked to the table and inspected their efforts. He watched her, sheepishly, as she picked them up and let them drop back onto the table. They landed with a heavy thud that made him wince, and he hastily tried to formulate a suitable reply to the witty comment that she was undoubtedly going to make. But to his surprise, she said nothing. She just stood in front of the table, her shoulders shaking and he soon realised that she was laughing. In fact she was laughing so much that she had to lean onto the table for support, and he breathed a sigh of relief. At least she wasn't annoyed, and it was rather funny.

Even Ethan had thought so, having come into the kitchen in something that could almost be called a good mood, which for Ethan was rare indeed. He'd made a comment about women being at least useful for some things when William had explained what had happened, then he'd left the kitchen whistling to himself.

"What did we do wrong?" He walked up beside her and looked at the bread. "They just refused to rise."

Buffy looked up at him, her laughter subsiding momentarily. "You did use yeast?"

"Yeast? Oh Christ, I knew there was something. Alright, I concede this battle. You and Tara are the bread making champions of this house and I will never complain about it again."

"You forgot the yeast?" This sent her off into another fit of laughter that was totally disproportionate to the culinary disaster that lay before her. It was funny, but surely not that funny. He looked as Alex, but instead of joining in with the laughter he was just standing there, a frown on his face, staring intently at Buffy, who was becoming more hysterical by the moment.

William looked from one to the other, thinking that he was perhaps missing something. Buffy seemed to be finding this far too funny and Alex looked the picture of concern when they'd only wasted a few scoops of flour really.

Suddenly he realised that Buffy wasn't laughing any more, she was crying. Great sobs shook her body as she turned and groped for him, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her face into his shirt. And all he could do was hold her and pat her on the back and tell her that no one was going to mind about this so she wasn't to get so upset about it.

Perhaps she thought Tara would be cross at her for letting them do this, so he told her that she surely wouldn't, but he didn't even know if she was listening to him. Eventually, all he could do was pull her over to a chair and sit with her on his lap until the sobs subsided.

When she, at last lifted her head, she gave several sniffs and felt inside her sleeve for a handkerchief. "Where did Alex go?"

"I don't know, to his room, I think." God, she was gorgeous, even when she cried, but he didn't like seeing her so sad. It wrenched at his heart like nothing ever had, and the love he felt for her just kept on and on multiplying, so much so that he sometimes wondered how he was going to hold it all.

She managed something of a watery smile, calming down at last.

"I am never going to attempt to make bread again if it makes you this sad. I love you Buffy, and I never want to make you cry."

He leaned in, his hand slipping up through her hair to hold her as he kissed her. It was a gentle undemanding kiss that spoke of love, rather than lust. A kiss that told her exactly what he was feeling right then, that he loved her and that he was there for her, no matter what. He pulled back to see if she'd got the message and she sniffed again and nodded.

"Thank you William. And you know that I love you as much, don't you?"

"Of course I do, you silly thing." He kissed her again because her lips were just too inviting to resist, but it was the first time that he'd done so and not immediately wanted to carry her to bed. This kiss was for comfort and for friendship and for true love. It was because he worshipped and adored her. It was for the overwhelming sense of gratitude that he felt simply because she was in his arms. It was for her.

"I do love you William, I do." She said it as she kissed him back, whispering it against his cheek, his eyes, his throat. "I will never stop telling you that I love you."

"And I will never tire of hearing it."

"Promise me that you will never forget it." Her hands were in his hair smoothing it insistently back from his face, and she repeated the gesture over and over as she scanned it with anxious eyes.

"I know you love me, Buffy."

"No, say it. I want to hear you promise."

"Then I promise. How can I forget that you love me when you tell me so beautifully?"

She kissed him again and there was a message in hers too. It said I love you, and I always will, but there was something else. Something he didn't really want to hear, but the words kept going round and round in his head as her lips moved over his.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...

Elizabeth slipped her shawl around her shoulders and kissed William on the cheek.

"I think I shall take a turn around the garden, you don't mind do you?"

He looked up from the book he was reading, leaning over so that she could kiss him properly.

"No, of course not. It will probably do you good, you've been very agitated this afternoon. You're not getting bored of being here are you?"

"No, of course not my love, it's just such a lovely evening that it seems a shame to be indoors."

"It does that."

Elizabeth watched as he buried his head back in his book, aware that her comment had probably affected him a little, but too worried about what she had to do to give it the concern that she might have.

"I could wait till later, when the sun has gone down, then you could come with me."

He looked up, smiled at her and squeezed her hand. "Such a shame that you've lost you ring already. We must look for it tomorrow. Now go, Buffy, it's alright, it really is. I have more than enough to keep me busy for the next hour or so. Besides, you will be with me all night." He pulled her back down for a swift kiss, then let her go. "That will more than compensate. Now shoo."

"Thank you William, I won't be long." He turned back to the book as she scuttled away, glad that he hadn't seemed to notice how badly her hands were shaking. She had no idea whether she was actually going to be able to go through with this. The jewels posed no problem, they were already in a bag that she had pinned beneath her dress, but the other thing. Ethan had asked her to be prepared to linger, and this afternoon she'd thought there was nothing that she wouldn't do to keep her loved ones safe. But now? The very thought of him touching her was enough to make her flesh crawl. It had been bad enough with Caleb, but she had at least been attracted to him physically, if not personally, and William had always been so gentle and considerate with her. But Ethan was a huge, rough - looking man who was as different from William as anyone could be.

And the fact that she already knew what to expect made it even worse. She knew now that lovemaking was possibly the best thing you could do with someone you loved, and the worse thing with someone you hated. The same act, yet so different depending on who you were with. For the first time she truly understood why anyone would want to lie back and think of England while they were doing it, but she suspected that a thousand Englands weren't going to erase this memory from her mind.

She wouldn't be thinking of England, she realised. She'd be thinking of William with his fingers broken and Alex with no face left. That was what would give her courage and that's what would get her through this. She opened the kitchen door and peered out, only to be confronted by Tara making her way up the steps with a basket of washing. It was too late to avoid her so she carried on walking, hoping Tara wouldn't want to stop and talk because the sooner she did this, then the sooner it would be over.

"Buffy, my dear, are you going for a walk?"

Elizabeth tried to smile, but she was aware that when someone was nervous they probably smiled a little too brightly and falsely and Tara obviously knew it too. She frowned and put down the washing.

"My dear, whatever is wrong?"

"Nothing, Tara, I'm fine. Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

"Possibly because you do not look fine. Come, the washing can wait. I will walk with you and you can tell me what it is." She disappeared momentarily into the kitchen and Elizabeth let out a frustrated sigh. She was never going to get the jewels to Ethan at this rate.

Tara reappeared, wrapping her shawl about her shoulders and linking arms with her. She patted Elizabeth's hand and led her down the steps.

"Now, tell me what it is that is bothering you. If you are having problems in the marriage bed, then I have considerable experience in that area. I may even be able to give you a few ideas."

"Tara!" Elizabeth pretended to be shocked as Tara nodded and laughed.

"That's better. You are so pretty when you smile, and I'm sure that you and William are having no problems in that area at all."

Elizabeth walked rather reluctantly along with her, hoping she hadn't seen her staring at the barn as they'd passed it. Was Ethan waiting inside? He hadn't specified a time, but the sun was about to go down and she really couldn't justify staying out too late or William would get suspicious.

Tara led her to the same bench where Alex had given her the shooting lesson and sat down.

"Let's sit a while and you can tell me what happened to the bread this morning. Whatever possessed the boys to take up baking? It's unheard of."

"I think they were trying to prove that they could do as well as a woman, I'm afraid it was my fault."

Tara snorted. "Ha! Men, what do they know? Without us, the three of them would starve. Now, are you going to tell me what's bothering you? I may be able to help."

"Everyone wants to help me, but no one can Tara. Please stop asking me." Elizabeth stood and tried to walk away but Tara rose too.

"Now you have me worried. Is it Ethan, has he said anything?"

"No, he hasn't." Elizabeth turned away from her as she said it because the mere mention of his name placed an icy chill around her heart. Her lip trembled as she tried to speak and before she could reply Tara had her back down on the bench, her arm about her.

"What has he said?"

"You cannot help me, Tara." Elizabeth hadn't missed the look of fear that had clouded Tara's eyes when she'd realised what was wrong. She might be in love with Ethan but she was obviously as scared of him as anyone. She shook her head and sniffed back the tears that were threatening once again. Tears that she suspected were going to be close companions in the weeks to come. "I've put you all in danger by coming here, and now only I can put it right."

"Has he found out what you are hiding from?"

"Yes, he has." Buffy extracted herself from Tara's embrace and folded her hands in her lap. "I will do what I have to do to keep you all safe, and you must not stop me."

Tara was quiet for a long moment, her mouth set in a thin line as she thought about what Elizabeth had said, then she stood up and smoothed out her skirts.

"Where are you going?" Elizabeth stood too, taking hold of Tara's arm.

"I am going to give Ethan a piece of my mind. He is not going to get away with this, he has gone too far this time."

Elizabeth held on to her as she turned to leave, but she was so determined to go that Elizabeth had to hold her with both hands.

"Please don't say anything Tara. He's threatened to hurt you all if I don't give him something to keep him quiet."

Tara gently extracted herself, the look in her eye telling Elizabeth that she wasn't going to be swayed.

"He said he'd break William's fingers, and maim Alex for life."

"William's fingers? Did he really say that?" Tara stopped in her tracks, as Elizabeth knew that she would at the mention of any harm to William.

"And Alex will fare even worse, I think."

"Oh my poor William, how will he play the piano if Ethan does that?" Tara covered her mouth with her hand as she contemplated the horror of what she'd been told. Alex's fate, however, barely seemed to have registered.

"I can stop him, Tara. Just let me do this and help me to keep it a secret. I have some jewels that William gave me and I'm hoping that they will keep Ethan happy for a while. I really fear a confrontation if William and Alex find out, so you must help me. And you will if you care about William as much as I do."

That hit home. Elizabeth could see by the way Tara stiffened her spine at the implication that she might not love William enough to make sacrifices for him. It was a cruel way to get her to agree, but necessary.

"I would give up my life for William." Tara looked her straight in the eye as she said it. "There is nothing I wouldn't do for him."

"Then you will understand how I feel, Tara. I must go, Ethan will be waiting."

Elizabeth made to walk away but Tara called after her, more softly this time, her voice holding a note of sympathy. "Has he asked for anything other than the jewels?"

Elizabeth turned back to her. "He said I should be prepared to stay a while. Oh Tara, what did he mean?"

"Come here, you poor girl. I was hoping it wouldn't come to this. He has been watching you, I know, but I did not think he would be so bold."

Elizabeth allowed herself to be engulfed in Tara's arms once more. "What shall I do Tara? I don't want to go to his bed. How can I ever go back to William after that?"

"You will not have to." Tara moved back and looked at her. "Do you hear me? Leave him the jewels, they will be more than enough to make him happy, but do not give him all of them. Then you can use the rest to bargain with. I will see to the other thing."

"Oh Tara, are you sure?"

Tara gave a laugh that had no humour in it and stepped away. "I do not flatter myself that he would prefer me to you, but between me and the jewels it may distract him enough to keep him away from you."

"But Tara, you should not have to concern yourself about such things at your age."

Tara raised an eyebrow at that and Elizabeth could see that she was trying to stop herself from smiling.

"At my age? My dear, I hope that you will remember this conversation when you are my age."

"Oh, Tara, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"It's alright Buffy, as I said, you will think back on that comment and laugh one day."

"My real name is Elizabeth. There's no point in hiding it now, and I can never imagine laughing again."

"You will my dear, and I like the name, it suits you. Now go and do what you have to do, and I will try and distract Ethan if he turns up."

"Thank you Tara, you're a remarkable woman."

"No I'm not. Like you, I would do anything to keep William safe."

Elizabeth turned to go, then stopped. "Why do you not love Alex?"

"Whatever gave you that impression. Of course I love him."

"I think he's very lonely, Tara." Elizabeth didn't press her, because it wasn't really the time for this conversation, and Tara didn't look as if she wanted to discuss it anyway. But she was determined, at some time, to talk to Tara about the way she treated Alex, because it was tied up with the way Ethan treated him. And that brought her thoughts back to Ethan and what she had to do. Tara was urging her to go and get it done so she made her way to the barn, looking around as she entered it and praying that he wouldn't be there.

It was, thankfully empty, and she breathed a sigh of relief as she quickly dragged over a wooden crate upon which to stand in order to reach the ledge that Ethan had indicated earlier. She felt under her skirt and brought out the jewels, tipping some into her hand and pulling the drawstring of the bag closed. He'd just have to be happy with these for now, and Tara was right. Keeping some back would give her more to negotiate with. That might keep Ethan away from her for a while longer.

As she felt for the ledge, dropping the jewels onto it, she couldn't help wondering what she would do when she had nothing left to bargain with. Perhaps Ethan would relent and be happy with what he had?

Oh, what was that?

Her hand landed on something soft and furry and she pulled it away in surprise. How on earth had one of the kittens got up there? "Come here," she said, pulling herself up so that she could just about see onto the shelf. "Your mother will be wondering where you are."

She reached up again and picked up the small creature, and only then did she notice that it wasn't moving and that its fur was slightly damp. Even then, it took a few moments for her to realise that it was dead. She just kept staring at it as if it might suddenly jump out of her hand, but it didn't. The poor creature had been drowned, she realised.

And left as a message for her.

A cold knot formed in her stomach and the colour drained from her face as she saw that they were all there, neatly arranged on the shelf. The kitten dropped from her hand and she slipped from the box, landing with a thump on the floor. She sat where she'd landed, wondering how her legs were ever going to hold her and get her back to the house, and realising that she needed to get up and go now, before he came. Whatever he threatened her with, she just wasn't strong enough to face him tonight.

She managed to get herself upright and out of the barn but she knew that she couldn't go back into the house in this state without making William suspicious, so she ran across the garden instead. There were some glass-houses at the far end of the vegetable garden so she made for those, thinking that a few moments to calm herself down were what she needed. Then she would have to join the others and hope that no one would notice the state that she was in.

She was only vaguely aware of Alex calling to her and then running after her. As she slumped against the wall of the greenhouse and slid down onto the cold earth floor, she didn't even realise that he'd come in too, until the sound of her name started to filter through the haze surrounding her. It sounded very far away, but got louder and louder as she forced herself to concentrate.

For a moment she thought it was William, but as Alex's dark hair and face came into focus, she realised with considerable relief that it wasn't, and she closed her eyes for a moment, trying to gather her wits and still the shaking of her hands.

"Buffy, Buffy, what is it?" His face was very close, swimming in and out of view as she opened her eyes and fought to keep her senses.

"If 'es touched you, I'm going to kill 'im."

That brought her back with a jolt. She saw him start to get up but stopped him by grabbing his arm and pulling him back down.

"No, you mustn't Please Alex, he didn't, he didn't."

"Then what?" Alex knelt back down in front of her, his face a picture of concern. But she could see anger there, too, simmering in the background. The kind of anger that was going to make him do something monumentally stupid. Alex had never won against his father before, so there was no reason to think that he was going to start now. She held on to him for grim death, twisting his sleeve and pulling him even nearer.

"Sit with me and I'll tell you why I'm so upset."

He looked at her hand where she was holding him and for a moment she thought he might break free and go and find Ethan anyway, but he gently untangled her fingers from his sleeve, nodding at her as he did so.

She released him, reluctantly, and he twisted himself to sit beside her, propping his elbows on his knees and staring at the far side of the greenhouse.

"You should let me 'elp you."

It was such a simple statement, but somehow it touched something deep inside her. Alex said some daft things sometimes, but he had a knack of seeing things as they were. He was nowhere near William's intellectual equal, but he could be surprisingly wise when he wanted to be.

"You can't, Alex." She turned to him and managed a small smile. "But thank you, I don't know what I'd have done without you and William."

"You really love 'im, don't you?"

"I do, Alex, and I'm very fond of you too, you know that, don't you?"

He studied his fingernails for a moment, then looked at her. "E wouldn't like this, you know. You not telling 'im stuff."

"I can't, Alex, you know Ethan better than anyone, you know I can't."

"But you can tell me. Got a score to settle with my so-called father. Might as well have it out."

"No, Alex, please don't, not now." She took hold of his sleeve again, but more gently this time. But even as she felt herself shifting towards resignation to her fate, she had the horrible feeling that Alex was moving towards a decision that would probably be the death of him. His calmness told her that, and she knew that whatever she said to him, it was going to make no difference to what he did.

"It's alright for now, Alex. It really is alright for now."

"I'm not going to stand by and watch, Buffy. You know that?"

"I know. Just be careful, please."

"I don't 'ave to be careful, I got nothing to lose. Who's going to miss me?"

"I will, and so will William." She almost shouted it at him, she was so horrified at the bleakness in his voice. It was so easy to lose oneself in one's own troubles and forget that there might be others who were hurting too. She'd been so concerned with his physical well being that she'd forgotten that both Ethan and Tara had already hurt him in ways that couldn't be seen from the outside.

"Promise me you won't do anything stupid?"

"Who me?"

She almost laughed at that.

"We can't get through this without you Alex, just remember that."

He was quiet for a moment as he contemplated her words, then he managed a small smile of his own. "Then I'll be here."

"Thank you."

Elizabeth wanted to hug him then. Not just because he was willing to make this sacrifice for her, but because she could feel how badly he needed one. But she didn't, aware as she was of how vulnerable they all were right now. Any gesture she made might so easily be misinterpreted and that would only make matters worse.

She stayed where she was when he finally got up, and shook her head when he offered her his hand to help her up. "I need a few more moments Alex. If you see William, would you tell him I'm still walking in the garden?"

"Alright, but 'es not going to like it when 'e finds out." He turned to go, half opening the door, then stopping. "Why were you so upset, just now? There was something else."

"Ethan drowned all the kittens, and I found them, and…"

She didn't get any more words out because at that moment, she just couldn't hold it any more. As the bag of sixpences had been William's release, the kittens were hers. She tried to breathe and stop them falling, but it was no use, they came anyway, spilling over her lashes and running down her cheeks as she stared at Alex.

Dead kittens, secrets she shouldn't be keeping, the quiet courage of these people who were so determined to help her regardless of the danger to them, and that special kind of pain that comes only when you know the true value of what you might be about to lose. It all came crashing down on her at once.

Alex was beside her again, holding her as she cried, and she let it all go because if she didn't do this now then she was going to do it in front of William, and the thought of him finding out all this was just too much to cope with right now.

She knew he wasn't going to like being left out and hoped that he would understand that she needed to protect him, but she remembered what he'd said to her when he'd asked her to let him help her when the time came. All she could do, as she brought herself under control once more, was to hope that he'd never have to find out about this.

-------------------------------------------------

"I missed you."

William stood behind Elizabeth as she looked out of the window at the rapidly darkening garden, his hands resting lightly on her shoulders. He could feel how tense she was, and hadn't missed how sad she'd looked when she'd returned from her walk, but she wouldn't tell him what was bothering her, and had become so agitated when he'd pressed her on it that he'd backed right down and not mentioned it again.

Perhaps she hadn't been joking when she'd said that she wasn't going to tell him everything. He just didn't know how to play it right now, knowing how worried she must be about her future. Could see it in the way she avoided his eyes, the way she hugged her arms around herself. She'd been standing at the bedroom window for nearly half an hour, motionless and not speaking, as if she was struggling with something and trying to reach a decision about it. And it terrified him because he had a good idea what was going through her mind, knew it had to do with her being here, or not being here.

"Come to bed, my love. I want to tell you something."

"What's that?" She leaned back against him as he pulled her gently to him. "Will I like it?"

"I think so, you did last night." He let his fingers move upwards into the heavy mass of her unbound hair, lifting it aside so that he could kiss the back of her neck, tracing a line downwards with the tip of his tongue. When he reached the first button of her dress, he took it into his mouth and deftly undid it, using his teeth, grazing her skin lightly as he worked it open.

Kissing his way down to the next one, he felt her softening at last, the resistance melting away as she became caught up in what he was doing. He loved this almost as much as finding his release. That moment when his unspoken question was suddenly answered and she responded yes, she did want him and wanted him now. He felt it in the way she moved against him, the way he could hear her breathing when he couldn't before, the way the whole atmosphere around her changed, as she responded to what he was doing to her.

"See what a clever boy I am?" He smoothed the filmy material aside, watching his shaking hands in fascination as they slid over her cool skin.

How did she do this to him? He only had to touch her and he could feel it. The heat and desire, the way she wanted him, the tiny movements she made that told him how much. It hadn't taken long to learn at all, and when she moaned against him as he took the second button in his mouth, it all went up another notch, hotter, harder to breathe, head spinning, losing himself, forgetting who he was. The world narrowed down to sensation alone. There was no reason in this, you went with it because you were helpless to do anything else. If there was a choice, you only got to make it once because after that you were hooked, addicted, and you'd walk on your knees to Jerusalem, if you could only have this one more time.

She turned in his arms, her eyes watching him intently for a moment, before they closed and her lips parted, as she offered herself for a kiss. But all he could do was look at her as she waited for him to move. This always seemed to be the moment where it all got too much for him. It was as if he needed a heartbeat just to reassure himself that this woman was real and here, and that she wanted him as much as he wanted her. And it was always the moment where she came to his rescue, as she was doing now, bunching the fabric of his shirt in her hands, pulling herself up and pressing her open mouth against his. Inviting him, no commanding him to kiss her.

So he did, abandoning himself to the taste of her, the balance of power shifting again as he pulled her toward the bed and lifted her on to it so that she was sitting on the edge. He carried on kissing her until he was seriously in need of breath, her hands twisting in his hair, as she asked him what it was he wanted to tell her.

He pushed her back on to the bed then, crawling up beside her, kicking off his boots as he did so, lying on the soft cushion of her hair as it fanned out around her.

"I don't have words enough for it. Let me show you."

"Yes, William, show me everything, I want to hear it all."

"And so you shall my love."

As he gazed at her, he could see that she'd almost come back to him. Her eyes still held a hint of that far away look that had had him so worried earlier, but now where she'd been cool, she was hot. Her cheeks were flushed with a rosy tint, her mouth moist, lips slightly parted. Her breasts rising and falling, as she breathed a little too fast. The way you have to breathe when something is this intense.

She watched him carefully, waiting for him, and he realised that the thing she wanted most at that moment was reassurance. She needed him to tell her that everything was going to be alright, and that they were going to live happily ever after. Even if it wasn't true, she needed to hear it, and just as she'd weaved a fantasy about him being a prince stuck in an ivory tower, now it was his turn to keep the world at bay for a few hours.

He placed on hand on her neck, only the slightest touch, as he traced gently down across her the fine line of her collar bone, then down further to the top of one breast as it spilled out of her open gown.

"A wise old man once told a story about a pearl."

Elizabeth shifted beside him, sighing and settling herself. Her mouth curved into a small smile as she nodded for him to continue.

So he did, his hand slipping inside her dress, pulling the material down so that he could look at how perfect she was.

"Have I ever told you that these are like pearls?" He flattened his hand over one breast, as she shook her head to indicate that he hadn't.

"A bit bigger, but pearls nevertheless. He let his hand close over it, massaging gently as he watched her reaction. The far away look was back, but this time it had nothing to do with shutting him out. He was right there with her.

"Oh, by the way, I'm a terrible poet, he whispered as she arched into his touch. Now where was I?"

His hand strayed to the other breast, giving it the same treatment as he continued.

"He said that a pearl is something beautiful, but it's born in pain and suffering."

Elizabeth's eyes narrowed for just a moment as she contemplated his words, then she nodded.

"It's all the more special then?"

"Like our love, Buffy."

He dipped his head then to kiss where his hands had been, nuzzling at her smooth flesh as she held him in place, her hands in his hair. At last, she let him go, and watched as he sat up and pulled his shirt over his head, and unbuttoned his trousers. Then he took her hand and pulled her up too, heavy and loose in his arms, she did nothing to help him as he slipped the dress and shift over her head, then pulled off her underwear.

"Are you warm enough?"

"I am with you beside me." She wriggled into his side as he lay down with her again and took his hand, placing it on her stomach. "Do continue, William."

"We both came by the rocky path, Buffy, it hasn't been easy, has it?"

His fingers opened and closed as they worked their way down the satin and ivory of her skin, grazing the soft tangle of curls as she shifted and opened for him with a small intake of breath. And he was glad that he was still wearing his trousers, otherwise he'd have had to take her there and then, because he was fast losing control of this, and he hadn't yet told her what he wanted to say.

"Do you remember when we met? I was so scared that you were going to jump, that I wouldn't be able to convince you to come with me. Why did you come with me?"

"Because I saw something in you, no don't stop." Her hand came over his, moving with him as he caressed her. "I knew you'd come to save me."

He did stop then, catching her hand as she tried to make his move once more.

"You trusted me then, Buffy. Do you still trust me enough to let me help you."

"Of course I do, William, please…"

"Then don't shut me out, Buffy. I can't bear it. Promise you'll always be honest with me. Promise you'll let me help you."

"I will."

"So will you tell me why you were so upset earlier?"

Her face crumpled a little as she opened her mouth to answer him and for a moment he felt sorry he'd asked, she looked so sad, but he needed to know. He couldn't help her if he didn't know what was going on.

"Ethan drowned the kittens and I found them."

"I'm sorry." William scanned her face, wondering if that was all, knowing he couldn't force her to tell him if she didn't want to. He couldn't even find out from Tara and Alex, because she'd hardly tell them before him, would she?

"Ethan always does that, otherwise we'd be overrun with cats. I'm sorry you had to find them."

"But it was so sad, William."

"I know. Shall I ask him to save you one next time?"

She shook her head at that and he couldn't work out if she was saying she didn't want a kitten, or that there wasn't going to be a next time.

And the conversation was over, because she was kissing him again, pulling him over her, fumbling at his trousers, pushing them down over his hips, opening herself for him. And he couldn't resist, as she knew he wouldn't. He hadn't finished what he wanted to say, and she'd said the words, but he knew he hadn't got the answer he wanted.

All he could do was go with her and lose himself for a while, forgetting everything but what they were doing to each other.

She'd always be stronger than he was because she had this to distract him with, to lead him by. And he was just a man, a poor weak man who was desperately in love. And there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for her. He'd die for her.

But he already knew that she would never let him.

---------------------------------------------------

Aunt Joan's Residence - Bath.

"Oh, Aunt Joan, I'm so sorry, it was such a silly thing to do."

"Sliding down the banisters at your age?"

Aunt Joan gave her a pointed look, but Dawn could see the corners of her mouth twitching as she contemplated her.

"The doctor says my ankle will be well enough to walk on in a few days, will you go to Devon without me?"

"Of course not, my dear." Aunt Joan sat herself down on the sofa and took Dawn's hand. "You could have broken your neck, young lady. What would I have said to your parents then?"

"It would have been hard to explain."

With that, both Dawn and Aunt Joan burst into much needed laughter. Dawn continued to smile at her aunt who had been a veritable light in the darkness of this dreadful affair with Buffy going missing.

"Are you sure it will be alright to postpone the trip? We really need to find Buffy."

"And we will, my dear. I have a feeling I know where she is."

"But is she safe?"

"That, I have yet to find out, but I will send my man on ahead to make some more discrete enquiries, and we will join him as soon as you can walk properly. Now, did I ever tell you about the time I took it into my head to row to France. There was a man involved, of course?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN. The story of the pearl came from a book of writings by Kahlil Gibran. He lived a little later than William did so I'm taking a bit of poetic license here. He said

"A pearl is a temple built by pain around a grain of sand. What longing built our bodies, and around what grains?"

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