From Night to Day

~~~Chapter Nine~~~

~~Found~~

The relationship between neighbours became excruciatingly strained over the next few days, both avoided the other, especially the older adults. Joyce kept all the blinds down on the Benson side of the house, and the front and back doors were now kept firmly locked. The tree at the other side of the house was trimmed back, to avoid it being an escape route for the elder daughter. Joyce came home early every night and always knew the whereabouts of her girls.

Her mother’s actions were driving Buffy mad, the house had turned into a prison for her, and Joyce seemed to think that by keeping her daughter close, that she could keep her away from her seemly new fixation, Spike. What Joyce hadn’t counted on was the young woman’s determination to see him, especially when he had made his feelings to Buffy adequately clear, and he wasn’t about to give her up. Her mother had made her own feelings about the situation quite clear a few days after the night her daughter had sneaked out.

“Buffy he’s too old for you!”

“Buffy you’re too young!”

“Buffy he’s a single father!”

“Buffy be reasonable!”

Joyce tried in vain to deter her daughter from pursuing her man, they argued and disagreed upon every point that her mother tried to raise, their age, his fatherhood, and her ability to reason as an adult. The clincher came when in frustration and anger, Joyce screamed what seemed her final insult to her daughter.

“Buffy, you’re too young to know what real love is!” Joyce immediately regretted her statement, as her daughter grabbed her bag and ran out the front door. The look on her face had said it all, her anguish and disbelief were written all over it, tears ran down her cheeks. Joyce had unwittingly destroyed any joy that Buffy felt, about her ability in trying to free herself from her self imposed prison, and the delight she took in that liberty.

Slamming the front door, Buffy walked down the path of her front yard, looking longingly over to the house on the left, she tried to see if anyone was watching, hoping to see a glimpse of him, even if only for a minute. As if on cue the garage door motor started as it pulled up the roller door, the vintage car pulled out, the owner and daughter of the house, sat inside. The car backed out, and shook on its chasse as the driver hit the brakes in reaction to seeing her.

“Get in.” The command was simple and straight to the point, Buffy did as he asked, climbing into the front passenger seat. She dropped her bag on her feet and did up her seatbelt. Pulling out of the driveway, neither said a word to each other, Spike directed the car in the direction of the university. The feeling of awkwardness showered over Buffy and made her silent, unable to speak to him. She knew if she said something that she’d probably make a fool of herself, and spill all her family frustrations out on him. Her feelings for him were just too new, she didn’t want to spoil, or risk any of it by telling him the truth about how her mother felt. If he knew what they truly were, she knew that she’d probably never see him again. She’d be dumb if she thought that he didn’t think her mother was upset, the blinds and ‘non talking’ were enough to show him, that some hostility was being flung his way.

The ride to the university was too quiet, both just a little scared and unsure what to say to the other. The car drove into the university, around a few of the internal roads and bends, pulling up to the day-care centre inside one of the administration buildings, not quite sure what to make of it, she kept silent. Spike took Imogen from the back on the passenger side, out of the baby seat, and just before closing the back passenger door, he looked at the young woman in the front. “Wait here, okay. I’ll just be a little while”.

Watching him disappear into the building with his daughter, Buffy contemplated whether to flee the car and the conversation she knew was coming. She was unsure what to say to him, wondering if she should tell him the objections her mother had about them, and if so, how he would react to them. She was just too frightened that it would scare him off, and destroy this fragile new relationship between them. Buffy felt just as fragile, she truly wanted this, she had realised that when she had kept quiet during him blurting out his need for her. She needed and wanted him just as much, and she refused to risk breaking anything that was developing between them. So she would keep her mouth shut, and not tell him anything, her feelings were just too new, she wanted to breathe again, and just be ‘alive’ for want of a better explanation for herself.

So she sat and waited for him.

Time seemed to crawl as she waited for him to return. With a strong resolve, she continued to play out what she would say to him in her mind, over and over, as she reassured herself that all would be well. Nothing would stop her from getting what she wanted, not her mother, not anything, she’d made her choice, and she was going to fight for it with all her being. She’d felt so empty lately, she burned for release, she hated what she had become over the last 12 months, and now she felt more alive in her life than she had ever before.

She realised that she craved not only freedom for herself, but she craved Spike like she needed to breathe. All she saw was him, he filled her thoughts, and he’d broken the divide within her, giving her reason to return to herself. She knew that she’d fight for him, even against her mother if she had to, she would totally embrace him, his life and his family. Even she knew that it would probably have a cost attached to it, she just knew that she wanted to embrace everything that was him.

Spike approached his car, looking at the young woman sitting in the front seat, so lost in thought. He watched as the gambit of thoughts, played themselves out on her face, determination dominated them, with a hint of sadness thrown in on the side. He’d avoided her these last few days, trying to give her space to contemplate what he’d said to her, hoping to give her time to digest it. He hoped that a little time and space might let her find the same want and need within her that he had. Or maybe to decide that the intensity he felt towards her was just too much for her to handle, and it wasn’t want she wanted.

He knew that he wasn’t Joyce’s favourite person at the moment, especially with her blunt refusal to speak to him, the drawn shades on his side of the house were a dead give away. What discussion had gone on between mother and daughter played on his mind. He knew deep down inside that she would have reservations about them, but he would face them as they came, what mostly worried him was what affect they had on Buffy. He didn’t want to lose her at any point, but he knew that if her mother’s approval meant as much to her, he would respect that and back off.

If she wanted him as much as he did her, then he would stand by her, together they would try to overcome any reservations that Joyce had about them. Spike knew that Joyce wouldn’t be the only parent with reservations, his father was sure to put his ‘two pence’ in. He knew that he could handle his father, and any qualms he may have, he hoped that his father would support him getting on with his life, even if it was so soon after the loss of his wife. The other half of this equation also had some difficulties to overcome, in Buffy’s case the bastard that had done her so much damage.

Getting back into the drivers side of the car, Spike started the engine and drove away from the spot they were parked in. Heading over to the other side of the campus, he parked in the employees’ car park, pulled in a space, and killed the engine. Turning to look at Buffy, he brushed her hair out of her face, lent over and kissed her gently on the mouth. Drawn into the kiss, she pulled herself closer to him, deepening their kissing, gently tasting his closed mouth with her tongue, tempting him to open to her, joining her in this moment between them.

Forgetting everything but them, he relented to her need for him, and united with her fully in their kiss. It was bittersweet, both could feel each other’s fear, and dread. One knew the other was holding something back, yet neither could suppress the craving to be with the other. Breaking the kiss, Spike was the first to lift his head away from hers, not letting her go, he went back to just entangling his fingers back in her hair.

“You have classes?” Spike asked of her.

“Huh?”

“Classes, you know big hall, seats, teachers, books?”

“Huh? Ummm, yeah I suppose I do. But?”

“But? Later Luv, later. Cannot have you missing classes, what would your mum say?”

“Doesn’t matter what she says!”

“Yeah luv, it does. She’s your mum.”

“No it doesn’t. It doesn’t matter what she says, ok! It just doesn’t!” Buffy pushed him away, and got out of the car. It would appear that Spike had hit a nerve.

“Are we talking about the same thing, Buffy?” Spike was starting to get the clear picture from Buffy.

“Yeah………me going to classes, and what mom would say if she didn’t think I was going!” Buffy replied, unable to look at him in the eye.

“Buffy………please!” Spike walked around from his side of the car, and pulled her into his arms, despite of where they were and the attention they were causing, he kissed her again, just lightly across the lips in a sign of reassurance. “I’m not letting you go okay. Ever!”

“Look mom’s just a bit worried about me………..um you…………..ummmmmmmm you and me.” Buffy’s worried look said it all.

“Are you worried?”

“A little. She’s just……..you know………being a mom.”

‘I can understand that, I think I’d have my own worries if it was Imogen. But it’s not Buffy, it’s you, and I’m biased cause it’s you that I want. So as a parent I can understand her, but as the man who wants her daughter……….I’ll just have to try and sweet talk her around!” Spike tried to smile at the girl in his arms, but it was just so hard, he felt her internal conflict buzz inside her head, and they just didn’t need this external interference, “Do you want me to go talk to her sweetheart?”

“Oh god no!” came out just a little too quickly for Spikes liking, “I’ll talk to her, explain to her, tell her, make her understand! Please just let me do it!”

“But…..”

“No buts, I need her to understand.” Buffy’s hand came out to touch his cheek, “Make her understand that ‘I need you to breathe, to move and to just be.’”

Hearing his own words from the other night just sent him into a tail spin, throwing any concerns he had out the window, as she blew him into another realm. The conviction in her voice was just so compelling, that he wished that they were somewhere else, somewhere private. The need to kiss her senseless, was just so overwhelming, he let himself become enveloped in that need, leaned back into her and proceeded to do just that. He gently pushed her against the side of the car, pressed himself closer to her, tightening his hold on her, and they coupled and entwined in their kiss.

The sound of a car horn made them aware of their surroundings, letting her go, but still holding her hand, he gestured that she walk with him towards the building her classes were to be held for the day. Together they made their way across the lawns of the university, Buffy stopping occasionally to say ‘hello’ to fellow students. Most people noticed the couple walking down the path, some even pointed at them, remembering the episode in the hall a few weeks ago, some laughed and smiled.

The biggest shock came when a professor of Buffy’s stopped and spoke with Spike, making pleasantries with him, as she preened herself openly in front of Buffy. She eyed Buffy off suspiciously, as if to say ‘well little girl you aren’t competition for me’. Buffy just wanted to cut off her head, then and there and stomp on it, till it was in little pieces. Never had she felt such jealousy towards another female. What made it worse was it was one of her teachers. She hoped that this didn’t spell trouble, Buffy couldn’t concentrate on what they were saying, it was hard enough to curtail her jealousy, without even trying to keep up with them.

“Well Dru, I think that you’d better just send me the file.”

“No, I’ll bring it to your office today. Why not lunch time, maybe we could catch us some lunch, while we're at it?” The invitation slid of the woman’s tongue.

“No, just send it through to either my office or on my email will be fine.” Spike dismissed the woman, making his way past her, and continuing down the path with Buffy.

Out of hearing from her teacher, Buffy let it out, “That tramp!”

“Buffy!” Spike could feel her negativity before, but didn’t expect this outburst.

“She was coming on to you!”

“Yeah, and…………..”

“How dare she, I mean couldn’t she see you are with me! I mean like you would ever go out with that! The fact that you know her, that’s enough……………..hang on………how do you know her???”

“Hmm I meet her at some seedy bar on the other side of town!” Buffy hit him on the side of the arm, “Come on, haven’t you guessed??”

“What, that you work here? Like hello, employee day-care and car park! I’m just not sure what you do?” Buffy felt a little embarrassed to be so involved with someone, and not know what they did for a job. It made her realise that despite knowing a lot about the man, she knew very little of him other than what he’d let her see. It scared and elated her at the same time.

“Financial Advisor to the University.”

“Financial what to the University?”

“I advise and overlook the university spending habits, make sure its sound.”

“Oh you’re the penny pincher!” With that Buffy scooted across the lawn and into a hidden gazebo behind a shaded area, which the gardeners used for breaks, giving them some privacy from students and anyone else. Spike followed close behind her, pursuing after her making sure no one noticed or followed them to the secluded spot.

“So you’re the money man hey?” Buffy avoided his attempts to catch her, as he came into the gazebo.

“Yep, gotta make sure that the books balance!” Spike finally trapped her in a corner, placing both his hands on either side of her, playfully blocking any way of escape.

“Sounds pretty interesting to me. So do you enjoy your work?”

“On the odd occasion. It does have its fringe benefits.”

“Such as?”

“Close contact with the Student Body.”

Buffy pushed herself against him, laying her hands on his arms, and her head against his chest, “Close enough for you?”

“Are you trying to corrupt the administration of this university, Miss Summers?” Spike wrapped his arms around Buffy, kissing her bare neck, lapping his tongue on her skin tasting its salty texture, and inhaling the smell of her perfume.

“Never. Just helping in anyway I can, Mr Benson.”

“So are you offering to help me with some research Miss Summers?”

“Of course Mr Benson. What research would that entail?”

“Well a certain student body would help me a lot, Miss Summers.”

“Please Mr Benson feel free to go over my resume, as much as you like,” the interplay between the two was burning him to the core with desire. He could feel her begin to shake a little, as he ran his hand from her shoulder tip to her elbow and hand, just brushing the surface with the tips of his fingers. Grasping her hand, he gently pulled it up to his mouth, turning it palm up, softly placing his lips over the centre, just touching it, as he darted his tongue out, drawing small slow circles with it. He watched her eyes darken and change as they screamed with her need. Her breath caught in her throat as she tried to suck in air, drugging her with a desire she wanted to fulfil.

He moved her hand to his cheek, engaging her lips and tongue with his own. They swirled them around each other, deep in a duel of passion as they explored each other. Even though they had before, each time was like its own revelation, it unleashed new feelings in each, as they surrendered to each other. Caught up in the need and heat of desire they felt for each other, Spike moved his hand to her waist, playing with the edge of the shirt she wore, he could feel her hesitation as a slight shudder rippled through her body.

“Trust me.” His words were so soft that she nearly didn’t hear him. He slowly pulled her shirt up a little, and allowed his hand to move excruciatingly slowly up her back. Not wanting to scare her, he laid his hand below her bra, proceeding no further. He continued to kiss her with such fever, that her fear was somewhat forgotten in the heat of the moment. Taking her acceptance of his actions, he moved his hand onto her lingerie, letting his hand trace the garment, skimming his hand over the lace cup, to the clasp, and back to the edge of the cup, slowly and repeatedly. He gently teased her, not full grasping her in his hand, just barely touching her, until she whispered so quietly, she was just audible. “I trust you”.

With these two words, he unhooked her clasp and gently grasped her breast in his hand, feeling the surface of her skin, taking in the shape of her. Encasing it he gently squeezed the mound between his hand, gliding her peaked nipple between his fingers. He increased his pressure, as she gently pulled at his hair that now lay entwined between her fingers, her sharp intake of breath signalled her pleasure. He just watched the play of emotion over her face, as she struggled with the newfound pleasure she was experiencing at the hands of this man.

It was becoming too much for her, she could feel the old fears returning and stifling these new feelings. She put her hand over his own and removed it, before the fear claimed the passion that she was experiencing. It had been enough to come this far today, and she just hoped that he would continue to understand her fears, and be the reason she overcame them.

“I’m sorry” was all she could muster herself to say.

“It’s alright sweetheart. One day at a time.” Spike was a little disappointed that she was so afraid of what was happening, but with a little support and love, she would become what he wanted her to be.

His.

~~~Chapter Ten~~~

~~Mine~~

Buffy sat throughout her classes with her friends as the day passed quickly, it was hard to concentrate without thinking about the events of the last few days. She realised that she would never raise that proverbial ‘white flag’, or put up her hands and surrender. She was in love, and nothing would deter her from the course she had set for herself. Even her friends had noticed the change within her, and recognised that she was turning her life around. Even if it was the mysterious Mr Gordo, Tara had yet to break her silence about Buffy’s mystery man, it was a little secret she kept to herself.

Unfortunately Spike was not so lucky. Buffy’s professor had indeed attempted to deliver, her ‘important’ file herself, and ingratiated herself into his lunchtime plan. He politely got himself out of a sticky situation, as insistent as she was, by the arrival of his father. It gave him the excuse he needed to avoid her and her plans, but his instinct told him this wouldn’t be the last attempt by Dru to gain his attention. The barracuda had sunk her teeth in, and it would be hard to extract her. It just wasn’t what he needed right now, a parasite that couldn’t accept that he was already with someone. He would have thought that walking hand in hand with Buffy was a clear indication to the world that he was involved, but Dru had just dismissed the girl as no competition. He’d have to tread carefully with her, she was trouble with a capital T.

Dru hadn’t been his only problem that day, his father had decided that it was time for a little father and son chat, especially as he had gotten himself involved with a ‘young lady’. Pleasantly enough his father enquired about Buffy and her family, how they had met, and what Buffy wanted with her life. This however preceded the verbal assault, which left Spike bewildered and deeply hurt, by his fathers conceived ideas about the couple. The usual argument that she was too young, how could she handle an ‘instant family’, and the “you’re being unreasonable William”, made him so angry he just wanted to lash out at his father. Spike had a little inkling to what Buffy must have gone through with her mother, but like her he was determined to ride this out and be with her. Maybe they should just get their parents together and let them sort out their lives for them, including new partners deemed suitable by each parent. For once Spike wished his mother was here, she’d go in to bat for him, just to annoy her ex-husband.

His day didn’t seem to get any better, anything that could go wrong did go wrong, and he was glad to see the end of the working day. It would seem that he would just have to clear the air with Buffy’s mother once and for all. He didn’t want to go headlong into an all out war with her mother, so it would be better to deal with it sooner than later. Later being tonight.

Going out to his car, he spotted Buffy leaning against it waiting for him. From his side vision, he saw the arrival of a young male student, obviously engaging Buffy in small talk. Just what he needed, more interference from another male, as if Dru hadn’t been enough today, now this. He quickly sped up his step as he saw Buffy’s obvious distress and fear displayed in her body language.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy day had passed without incident, and her little interlude with Spike, had filled her with such a bright energy that she felt she could take on the world, and that anything was possible. As she leant against his car waiting for him, she looked over her days class work, and contemplated whether to play hooky from assignments tonight, and have a quiet night with Spike and Imogen. Her daydream was shattered by the arrival of her nemesis.

Riley made his way towards the petite blonde, stopping a few feet in front of her, looking her up and down, as if summing her up. This put Buffy more on edge, she’d been able to avoid him these last few months, and she’d rather hoped that he’d dropped of the edge of some cliff, but apparently not.

“What do you want?” Buffy defensively asked her walking nightmare.

“Hey, hello to you too.” Riley replied with his usual macho bravado.

“I said what do you want?” Buffy stood her ground.

“What! Can’t a guy say hello to one of his favourite girls?”

“Look Riley, I don’t know how your sick mind works, but just go away. You’re not welcome okay!”

“Well I suppose not, now that lover boy’s on the scene hey? You know I just love his colour sense, so eighties, or did he just fall over a bottle of peroxide?”

“Look Riley just leave okay, before he comes.”

“Oh, I’m so scared! What is he gonna turn me into a pile of dust or something?” Riley took a step closer to her, “Or do you like the bit of rough and tumble he gives out?”

“Riley, you truly are a Neanderthal!” Buffy took a step sideways to avoid being so close to him, her skin crawled with him being so close to her.

“But you used to like it! What is lover boy a wimp hey, or have you just got him whipped?”

“Like what Riley? The way you treated me like a punching bag that night!”

“You truly are a little ‘ho’! What are you giving it up to any man now? Wasn’t I good enough for you? You little……….”

Buffy opened her mouth, to throw an insult back at him, but never had the opportunity as she heard a large crack of bone hitting bone. Spike struck the boy across the jaw with a closed fist that pounded him to the ground. Buffy was sure she heard Riley’s jaw break. Spike stood over the boy with a menacing look on his face, and stood back as the Riley got back up on his feet, and took a blind swing at him. Spike ducked as he missed the connection, and not missing a beat hee swung and hit the boy squarely on the nose, breaking the fragile cartilage, and shattering it to little pieces. The boy yelped in pain, as blood poured from his broken nose, he didn’t even try to get up from the ground.

“You stay away from what’s mine!” Spike warned the boy, “You come within an arm’s length of her, and you will be permanently broken! Do you understand, boy?”

Spike grabbed him by the front of his shirt, and roughly pulled him up to look at the boy he held. Riley moaned in pain, as Spike slightly shook him, as if trying to rouse him. Looking at Buffy, as she stood about 10 feet from the scene, he could see the horror written on her face, and the vein of fear that ran through her. He also noticed for the first time the crowd that had gathered around the car, to watch the spectacle.

“Do I make myself clear?” Spike repeated his warning, “You stay away from her! You stay away from what belongs to me, or I WILL make you sorry!”

Letting him go, Spike turned to the crowd, and asked that someone help ‘this pathetic excuse of a man’ to the university medical centre, to see to the damage he’d inflicted on him. Awkwardly some of the students came forward and helped the injured young man to his feet, slowly moving him away from the battlefield. Spike turned to see a very shell shocked Buffy, he walked to her side and taking her arm led her to the passenger side of the car. He opened the door, and gently prodded her in to sit down. Moving to the other side of the car, he slid in and just sat behind the wheel, staring out the windscreen, not focusing on anything in particular.

“It was him wasn’t it? It was that bastard that hurt you?” Spike’s words resinated in the car, as it broke the silence between the two occupants.

“Yes.” Buffy’s word was so quiet and final.

“I’m sorry Buffy.”

“So am I.”

“For what? I’m the one who hit the bastard!”

“For having to get involved! I was handling it! I could have put him off! But no, you had to go and beat him up!” Buffy crossed her arms in a defensive mood, and turned her body away from him, the tears welled in her eyes and fell down her cheek. Taking her cue he started the car, and drove to the day-care centre, pulling up he got out of the car, slamming the door behind him.

“Will you wait for me?”

His simple request didn’t go on deaf ears, Buffy slowly nodded her head in agreement, not wanting to look at him in her present state. He quickly moved off to collect Imogen, with the heavy burden of fear lying flatly on his chest, creating an immense sense of pain in his heart. He had no doubt that he did the right thing, the bastard deserved every broken bone in his body and more. If anything in Spike’s way of thinking he got off too lightly, he could never stomach a man that hurt a woman, they were the scum of the earth, evil soulless things.

He returned with Imogen, placed her in the back baby seat and returned to the driver’s seat, gunning the engine, he made his way out of the university, and headed home, with two of the most important people in his world. He only hoped that he hadn’t done irrevocable damage to an already fragile beginning, of what he hoped was his future.

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He pulled into his driveway, after a seemingly endless drive home from the university, it mirrored the drive in. Both had sat in silence, Buffy tried to hold her tears back, Spike was unsure of what to say to her. They both got out in the garage, as soon as he’d pulled the car in, Spike retrieved a sleeping Imogen from the back, as Buffy stood silently next to the car.

Taking no chances, Spike turned on the remote on his car keys and shut the garage door, with the baby on one arm, he took Buffy’s hand in the other and led her into his house. Leading her into the lounge room, he motioned her to sit, moving into the study next door. He placed a sleeping Imogen in a bassinet, pulling the blankets around her sleeping form. Brushing the baby’s head, he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, and let go the fingers that had curled around his own in comfort.

Spike found Buffy sitting on the sofa, just staring at the walls, not looking at anything just staring into space, a glazed look in her eyes. It was as if she wasn’t even in the room with him. He moved to her side, and took a huge risk. He moved close to her side and just enveloped her into his embrace, as she welcomed him, she leaned back into his arms, her head resting on his chest. Slowly he gently rocked her in comfort, and gave her a safe haven from whatever was haunting her mind, he doubted it had anything to do with him, at this point.

Gently he combed her hair through his hands, staring as his fingers separated each strand, hypnotised by his own movements. Buffy slowly moved her head from under his chin, and just looked at him, really stared at the man that lay beside her on the sofa. A soft “Thank you”, passed her lips as she placed one of her hands on his cheeks, and applied a gentle pressure, gravitating his head towards her own, in a soft exchange of kisses, that wasn’t demanding or full of desire.

Just soft touches of reassurance, need and longing for him.

He just as gently returned her kisses, rejoicing in them, as she demonstrated her need for him. He accepted them with joy and grace, he’d never seen this strong sense of emotion from her, it was laced with trust and he hoped love. His worst fear was that she would out rightly reject him, and fear him like she obviously did Riley. He’d never had been one for physical violence, but this time he just couldn’t have helped himself. What had also struck him was the strength of the rage that had come from within him, especially when he felt she was threatened.

The need to mark her as his for the world to see, had come hurling out of him as he warned the punk, to understand that she was ‘his’, and no one else’s. He’d never felt such possessiveness about any other human being before, so much that it scared him to the core. He probably could have done more than a few broken bones, he could have done the boy some fatal harm. It become apparent to him that his feelings for the young woman that he held in his arms were becoming more than just love.

It was becoming an obsession.

A/N ~~~ Go on if you’ve read this far spare a few moments and blow me away with a review ~~~ FEED ME!!!! FEED ME!!!!

TBC

~~~Chapter Eleven~~~

~~For the Birds~~

A week had passed since the incident between Riley and Spike, Buffy had been relieved in a way that Spike had dealt with him, and horrified at the drastic way that he had. She knew that he'd meant well, and was only defending her in someway, but what scared her more, was the outburst from him that had followed the attack. He made it clear in no uncertain terms that he classed her as 'his', and fundamentally any male that came too close was to understand 'she belonged to him'. In one way it thrilled her, that he felt this way about her, his protectiveness was alluring to her instinctual self, but it terrified her that he felt such a strong infatuation for her, even though she suspected that it was more than that.

The intensity in his voice as he warned the other man off, was laced with a threat besides his obvious words. Buffy was certain that Riley would not be bothering her again, especially now that Spike knew who he was. He would stay away. Yet this didn't take away the deep concern she felt inside about the intensity of his feelings for her, she just didn't know if she could deal with them, this was not what she'd expected from him at all. She hoped that it was just his way of wanting to protect her, from what he perceived as a personal threat to her. The only way that she'd find out was to go and speak with him, but that may be an impossible task, her mother had successfully placed barriers in front of her even going to see him.

She could no longer escape out her window, her mother would always home before and after university, and somehow she always knew the where bout's of her daughter. Buffy had to be honest with herself, as up to this point it had given her an excuse to avoid the discussion she knew needed to happen between herself and Spike. She devised a plan that would get her out of the house, and she hoped wouldn't break her neck, as she made her way down to the basement.

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The events of that day weighed heavily on Spike's mind for the week following. They consumed him with fear and dread. He'd never reacted like that, even when he'd been provoked by another, he was usually calm and had never struck out like that before. He'd panicked when he had seen Riley approaching Buffy, his primitive instincts took over, one of looking after the thing he cherished, and the other of someone threatening something he considered his own. He could still feel the emotions rage throughout his body even now, various thoughts and feeling clouded his mind, and he knew that he doubted that he would have reacted any other way.

The intensity of the feelings that made him do what he did surfaced over and over again. He just wanted the world to know that she belonged to him, and he wouldn't tolerate any threat to her. He acknowledged to himself that in someway, it was a little unhealthy for him to feel this way, when he wasn't sure how or what she felt for him. If anything this event would either propel them forward drastically, or have its own 'Death March' as its anthem.

He wanted her with such an abandon, such craving, it was new and phenomenal to him, he'd never even felt this way with his wife. They'd been school sweethearts, stayed together through college until they'd eventually married, she'd had been full of life and vigour, but had never inspired this response from him.

Another thing that worried him was what Buffy was going to do now. Would she walk away with his need of her, or would she embrace him and all his idiosyncrasies? He just had to know, and the only way that he would find out was by talking to her. Yet she'd managed to elude him the last week, not sure through her own choosing, or hindered by her mother. Joyce still considered him a 'no go' area, and Buffy's hadn't seemed to be able too either get passed her mother, or hadn't the inclination want too, and that's what scared him the most.

He knew that he had to talk to her, and he had to do it tonight. Walking into Imogen's room he made sure that she was asleep, and that the baby monitor was on, taking the mobile parent unit, he clipped it to his belt as he made his way to the garage.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy climbed onto the chair that she had laid against the wall of the basement, as she forced the little window open that would be her means of escape. She quietly as she could shoved the window open, which lead to the side path that surrounded the house, it groaned and creaked under the pressure of her hand. Finally budging the window open, she squeezed her small frame outside, grasping onto the concrete to pull herself out, grazing her hands as she went. Landing on the pavement, she wiped her hands on her jeans trying to clean them as much as she could, she stopped as she heard a soft male voice swear, and cry in pain.

She ambled around the corner of the house to find a ladder laying flat against the side of the house out of site, leant up against the second story roof. The male figure was clad in black, he seemed stuck, as a hand tried to untangle their shirt from what appeared to be the ladder, only resulting in tearing the fabric. But the hair was a dead give away, its platinum colour stood out and the customary 'Sod it!' that followed, could only be Spike.

Buffy remained quiet as she watched the amusing sight before her, she was enjoying seeing him trying to sneak into her bedroom like a teenage boy. It was one of the funniest things she had seen for along time, and the smile across her face spread into a soft giggle, she tried to muffle it with her hand. As hard as she tried it reached Spike's ears, he whipped his head around to see who found his predicament so funny.

Spike climbed down, after he untangled himself from the offending ladder, and stood in front of Buffy. He eyed her with some suspicion, and drew his hand through his hair, embarrassed at being caught trying to sneak into her room. He suspected that her appearance so late in the night was no coincidence.

"Spike what are you doing here?" Buffy asked.

"Out for a walk."

"Up a ladder, against my house, in the middle of the night?"

"Just bird watching."

"So I noticed." Buffy kicked her heel against the tree that stood next to the house, which had been trimmed recently, disturbing the cigarette butts that lay there, "Couldn't you have just behaved normally and come through the front door like most people?"

"Me, normal? You must have the wrong person, Luv!" Spike cocked his head to the side, and just grinned.

"Why do I always have to like the strange ones?" Buffy mumbled to herself.

"You calling me strange?"

"No Spike. More like deranged! What if my mom caught you?"

"Well she hasn't! What are you doing out so late anyway? Looking for anything in particular?" Spike moved a step closer to Buffy and placed his hand on her shoulder, running the tips of his fingers down her arm, ending at her hand, lacing his fingers within her own.

"Stop that!" Buffy quietly asked stepping away from him.

"Come on Luv, after all I wasn't exactly hiding?"

"Hiding? Huh!"

"What the ladder give me away? Or was it the black clothing? What about...."

"No!" came forcefully out of her throat.

" 'No!' What type of answer is that? You haven't even heard the question?"

"Look my mom and sister are home! So the 'no' is for 'no not here!'"

"Why not?" Spike looked at her concerned that she was about to turn and run from him. He knew that he could not let this opportunity to speak with her, slide through his hands. "Is it the fear of getting caught?"

"Reason number one, on a very long list!"

"It needn't be an obstacle." Spike attempted to take her hand, and lead her away from the house, in the direction of his own.

"Spike I mean it!"

"I hear you're serious, and so am I!"

"Come on Spike!" Buffy gently resisted his pull away from her house, she was beginning to lose the nerve that got her this far.

"Buffy, lets be honest here, please sweet heart just for a minute!" Spike stopped pulling her hand and turned towards her, standing as close to her as he knew she would be comfortable with, "I want you. You want me. I cannot go inside. So.......so maybe it's time you came outside?"

"Outside?"

"Yeah, outside. Just look at the stars, sit on the porch out the back of mine, and talk." Spike nudged her hand with a gentle pulling motion with his own, tilting his head towards his house, "Please Buffy. I think that we really need to talk?"

"Yes we do!"

"So we agree on something, finally! But not here Buffy, not where we could be interrupted any minute. Especially by your mom, and little sis, we don't want an audience, do we luv?"

Buffy moved past him, her hand still entwined with his own, she led the way back to his porch and sat herself down on one of the wicker chairs that sat there between another single seat, and a double seat. Spike stood on the stairs that lead to the porch, and just admired the sight that sat in one of his chairs, like she owned it and belonged there. He wanted her to feel welcome, to feel at home, to give her a sense of belonging, yet he just didn't know how to do that. He did the first thing that came to mind, and asked her a question, "Want a hot chocky luv?"

"Hmmmmmmm, chocky!!"

"Truly a way to a woman's heart, mind and soul. Offer her chocolate, hey?" Spikes mischievous smirk returned, he continued his climb up the stairs, into the kitchen and turn on the stove to make the drinks.

Buffy took the time just to relax and allow herself to gather the strength, that she knew she'd need once the unavoidable conversation about them came to pass. She let herself resolve that she really wanted this relationship with Spike, to grow into something special, most of all free herself, and give herself up too everything that she wanted. Yet she knew that they had some serious issues to resolve, first and foremost the event with Riley and just exactly what he wanted from her.

She knew that it was 'all of her', he would demand nothing less, but his actions over the last few days concerned her greatly, she was frightened that it would just be too much for her to handle, if she was true to herself. With that thought she came to the realisation that, this is what is really came down to, the truth. They had to be open and honest with each other, or they didn't stand a hope in hell. What really mattered, and what would she hoped could make it all happen.

The truth.

TBC

~~~Chapter Twelve~~~

~~Moments of Truth~~

Spike moved around his kitchen, making the drinks as quickly as he could, he wanted to be fast so that she didn't have time to disappear. He knew that they had some serious issues to cover, and he hoped that she would be receptive to what he had to say. They were at a point in their relationship where it was make or break, he thought so anyway. To tell the truth he didn't know what to think anymore. One minute she reciprocated his emotions, and in some cases, he thought elated herself in them. Other times she seemed horrified by his reactions, for example the 'Riley incident.' He hoped that she had just reacted to the situation and not to his actions. He knew that he had probably over reacted to them, but at that stage he was acting on pure instinct, and protectiveness towards her.

As the milk warmed on the sink, on a gentle heat, he quickly went up stairs to check on Imogen, he found her quietly playing with her feet yet again. He gently ran his hand over her cap of hair, and a finger down her cheek, Imogen reacted by sticking her tongue out at her father. She released her grip on one foot and clasped his finger, holding on tight.

"That's right Little Bit, you have your Daddy wrapped around your little finger! But you know Sweetness you're not the only one!" Spike told his daughter.

Gently releasing her grasp on his finger, she closed her eyes and drifted off to the beginning of sleep. Certain that she was on her way, Spike turned and left his daughter, quietly closing the door behind him, he went downstairs to complete his task of making drinks for the adults. He took the baby/parent monitor off his belt, and placed it onto the kitchen bench, grasping the mugs by the handle he headed for the back door, and what he hoped was his future.

"Hey!" Buffy greeted Spike, out stretching a hand to take one of the drinks. She took a sip and placed it down on the wicker table before her, "Nice. Thank you."

"Yep, cannot beat good old hot chocolate on a nice night." Spike took a gulp of the hot drink, and sat himself in the two-seater wicker chair beside Buffy's single seater.

Taking her hand that rest on the arm of the chair, he turned it over studying the lines on her palm, remembering a moment in the gazebo. Spike took her palm and lay a gentle kiss upon it's surface. He traced the creases with his tongue, teasing the skin and creating the gentlest suction with his lips, uplifting her skin further into his own mouth, allowing him to devour her. Buffy's intake of breath expressed the reaction he wanted from her, he looked deeply into her eye's, seeing the passion begin to burn, mixed with the insecurities she was feeling at the moment. Tenderly he slowed down his administrations, and released his hold on her hand with his mouth, but he did not let her hand go, instead he enveloped her hand in a tight grip, hoping that he could give her some of the strength he had.

Silence hung between the two, it screamed to be relieved of its burden, waiting for words to break it. Buffy took her mug again, breathing over the lip, cooling the top layer of her drink, taking another sip, she lay it down, she looked around at her surroundings, taking in the view of his backyard, full of toys for Imogen, and the lawn that needed mowing. Yet not looking at the man before her, she was a mix of scared and embarrassed, she just was so unsure of herself, it made her shy and reserved.

Spike's mouth opened a few times, trying to engage the young woman before him, but he wanted Buffy to take the initiative, he knew that the development of the relationship depended on what she wanted, if she wanted it at all. He scolded himself, he knew that she was in it with him in some degree or another, but how much she had never quite revealed, she'd always keep that bit hidden deep inside herself. Maybe that was the point where the conversation needed to begin, in the middle, on common ground. Taking a deep breath Spike finally broke the silence.

"Buffy, we need to talk, and I mean really talk. Talk about where we are going, and what we want from one another." Spike gave her hand a gentle reassuring squeeze, and waited for her to say something, but Buffy just looked down at the hand that held her own, "Please sweetheart, talk to me!"

"I don't know what to say."

"Don't know, or just a little scared to?"

"Both."

"Then why don't I start, because I know what I want, and what I want is you." Spike lifted his other hand, placing it under her jaw, he lifted her face so that they made eye contact, the fear shone in her eyes, clear as day, "We need to be open and honest with one another, you can say whatever you like to me. But we need to say something to each other, as much as we are afraid what the other may say, we need to say it. Let's start with the simple things."

"Simple things?"

"Yeah luv, like I want you, and you want me, well I think that you do. Do you?"

"Yes." The voice was quiet and just audible.

"See that was simple. Next question. Do you need me?"

"I do."

"Then say it, tell me you want me, tell me you need me. Say it and give it meaning, give it life." Spike brushed his hand over her cheek, pulling her closer to him as he placed the gentlest just-touching-her kiss on her mouth, she could taste him on her lips, "Say it."

"I want and need you." Buffy replied tenderly, as she returned his kiss with one of her own, "But I am afraid."

"Of what Buffy? Tell me. Make me understand."

"Myself and how I feel. Of letting myself feel and letting myself go."

"You don't have to be afraid. I'd accept anything you want to give me, be anything you want me to be, be here for you. I want you to set the pace, the rules, the boundaries everything. I don't want to lose you, give you reason to go, I need you that much. I'm willing to do anything to make this work. I have never felt such strong feelings like this before." He took a deep breath as he blurted it all out, "I need and I want you that much Buffy."

"Words are fine Spike, but would you be able to make them real. Would you really let me make the rules and the boundaries?" Buffy asked.

"Yes, you know I would. Well I hope that you know that I would."

"You made it obvious to the world the other day, that I was 'yours', and that I 'belonged to you', that no other man could come near me! So how can I set the boundaries, when you already made them clear to the world. How do I know that I can talk to another man, without you lashing out on him? How do I know that you will let me be me?"

"Buffy?" Spike's voice was full of distress, hurt and uncertainty, as his head drooped in disbelief.

"You said that I could say anything, and we could be honest with each other!" Buffy voiced her concern to him.

"I know, but....."

"But what William, we need to clear the air, before we even think of where this is going and what we want." Buffy leaned into him." I do want to be with you, but I need to be sure. I need to know that it is the right thing. I don't think that I could survive this is if it fell apart."

" I get it, I do! But I am also sure about you, about us. I know that maybe I over reacted with Riley, but I thought you were in danger, I wanted to protect you! That's all I can say about that incident, I wanted to make the bastard pay for what he'd done to you. I cannot stand a man that hurts a woman, and maybe I did warn him off, but that was for him, to make him stay away from you. I don't want you to ever be afraid of me, not for any reason. I would always let you be you, and I would never stop anyone from having friends of any sex!"

Buffy listened to what Spike had to say for himself, she could hear his words and the sincerity that was laced thickly within them. She knew that it was a start, but as he continued towards the end of his speech, she turned tomato red in embarrassment. It would appear that Spike had hit another delicate subject. Sex. It also didn't go unnoticed by him, he released a gentle chuckled.

"Another fear Luv?"

"Fear, what on earth are you talking about?"

"Well I mentioned the 's' word!" Spike's grin gained momentum and spread across his face as it turned into a smirk, "The bit about wanting and needing Buffy, has more than one connotation you know!"

"I know!!" Buffy spluttered her words, as she went a deeper shade of red.

"Nothin' to be afraid of Buffy." Spike's voice was so quiet that it just touched her eardrum, she just heard it, "I'd never do anything to you that you wouldn't want me to. Never cross any line that you didn't want to, that I promise you. You never have to be afraid of me!! Never!!"

"Never?"

"You set the rules, and the boundaries, I'll never cross them. I'll never give you reason to be hurt!" The words spilled out of his mouth, the oath and promise he was making to her, "I know the meaning of 'no' Buffy!"

"I...I..." Buffy was too dumbfounded to reply to Spike's word's.

"Buffy you have to trust me! I need you and want to be with you so much that it hurts my very being. Living next door is heaven and hell, so good to be close and so bad that it burns when your not here."

'Oh....I do trust you"

"Do you?"

"You know I do?" Buffy answered him, " I do!"

"No, I don't Buffy! I know that you want me and feel something for me. That you're frightened that I'll hit some other male person for just looking at you, and that you're frightened of us being together. That bit I understand, but trust is another matter. I would not jeopardise anything we have, you need to understand that, I need to know that you trust me. Feelings matter Buffy, but trust is one of the most fundamental of them all, if you don't trust me, then how can we have a future?"

"Okay let's put it simply, despite some of my misgivings. I need you. I want you. I have feelings for you." Buffy took his face in her hands, holding it in place with a tight grip, she looked vicariously into his eyes, and said, "I trust you!"

Taking the lead, she took the first step, placing a soft kiss on his lips, tracing the outline of his mouth with her tongue, tasting his skin, enveloping it with her own. Gently persuading him to open his mouth to hers, gaining access to it she continued to taste his mouth with her own. Deepening the contact between the two, she encircled the flesh within with her tongue, savouring every morsel that she encountered. Taking her invitation, he returned her adoration of the kiss by joining in the moment with her, tasting her on himself, feeling her own soft flesh. He deepened the kiss until they could feel it rise in intensity, they both felt the heat rise and burn between them.

Drawing her closer, he gently pulled on her body, until she lifted herself up and sat on his lap. He allowed her to fully embrace him, she encircled him with her arms around his neck and back, she held onto him as if for dear life. He inturn entwined one of his hands in her hair, and around her back, with a firm grip, like he never wanted to let her go. They continued to prolong each kiss, as they enfold **don't know what that means?** each other, mouth on mouth, heat on heat, desire through desire, coming only up to take a breath, before diving back into their ocean of craving.

A soft wail came from the house interrupting the two lovers, Spike whipped his head away from her as he heard Imogens cries from the monitor on the kitchen bench. Buffy untangled herself from him and stood up, allowing him to move out of the wicker chair. Not letting her out of his sight, he once again grasped her hand and led her into the house, closing the backdoor behind him. He moved up the staircase with Buffy in tow, he went to his daughter's room to find her howling in slight distress, with what would seem a need of a nappy change, the smell in the air was a dead giveaway. Moving swiftly, and with much practice, Spike attended to his daughter's needs with care and tenderness, he gently soothed her with soft lullabies, and reassuring kisses on her cheek.

Buffy stood in awe of him as he took care of Imogen, she could see the gentleness and tenderness that came out of him with the people he cared about. She realised that maybe his reaction to Riley, had come from the need to protect and care for those he felt deeply about. She could feel her insecurity mix with the need to make something with him and his family, she wanted to belong in this family unit, and she wanted a life that included them, both of them.

Taking the initiative, Buffy took Imogen from her father, she continued with the lullaby he'd been singing to her, even though she could hardly remember the tune she tried. As she was missing half the words, Spike sung a few octaves lower to help her remember. He looked as Buffy gently rocked his baby in her arms, soothing the youngster, sending her off to sleep. Buffy could feel the baby start to stop wiggling, her breath becoming rhythmic and slow as sleep enveloped the infant. She moved with Imogen in her arms, over to the cot and placed her in it, laying her at the end, and covering her with the blanket as the baby lay on her back. This time Imogen grasped Buffy's finger in a sign of contentment and trust. Buffy could feel all her insides become fuzzy and excited at the baby's reaction to her, at least there was one Benson she had no trouble communicating with, and she could not even talk. This very concept came out and smacked Buffy right on the head. Yes they both needed to talk, but words could only express so much, and she finally got the obvious staring her right in the face. She just did not know if it was the right thing to do, or if she was just to scared to take the next step, but she needed to take some risks.

Some risks were worth taking, and Spike was a risk she wanted to take. She finally realised, after all the soul searching and insecurities, that she had allowed herself to hide in the dark for so long with nothing but the chains she'd shackled herself down with, and she'd keep herself there and it was as simple as that. What made it hard for her was that, she hadn't even been able to see the obvious, or didn't want to. It was safer to keep herself locked away in her doubt and self pity, than face real life, especially the one that stood before her. It wasn't exactly how she would have envisaged it, instant family and all, but it was what she wanted and what she needed.

In that instant she made her decision. She turned to see Spike leaning against the change table with the biggest grin on his face, he was taking in the sight of the two of them, his arms were crossed and he looked like a very happy 'pig in mud'. Buffy gently untwined her finger from the baby's hand, letting the little hand rest on her tummy. She took a few steps away from the cot and moved towards him, where he entangled himself bodily around her just, hugging her close, kissing her lightly on the forehead. Buffy rested her head on his chest, turning her head slightly just to look at the sleeping form in the cot.

"She loves you, I can tell" Spike's muffled voice came from the cap of her hair.

"And how would you know, mister?"

"What, besides being her dad and all?"

"Smart arse!"

"Smart, maybe? Arse, hmmmmmmm....I'll leave that up to you sweetheart!" Spike gently swatted her behind, "But no. She'll only do that with people she loves."

"What?"

"Wrap her fingers around yours. Funny kid, but she'll only do it with certain people. Reck'on this little angel recognises another gentle soul when she sees one. Or maybe she's just telling her old man not to let this one get away." Spike tightened his hold on Buffy, "come on luv, time for you to go home, or your mum will get worried."

"No."

"No, what kind of answer is that luv?"

"No, as in I don't want to leave."

"But your mum, sweetheart, she'll get worried!" Spike's voice became laced with concern.

"Spike, if she wakes up and finds me gone, she only needs to guess once where I am, true? So I say 'no', because I want to stay.....stay the night."

"Buffy......please luv, I don't quite think that we .....we.... you... are ready for that, sweetheart. We need to take things slowly, and comfortably, you know, be sure?"

"Spike, I know that I'm not ready for it all, but just because I cannot have the main course yet, doesn't mean that I don't want to nibble on the appetisers does it?"

Spike was a little taken back and elated at her words, he shot his head down as quickly as the words were out of her mouth, and stopped any more escaping out of it with his own kiss. He placed her arms around his neck, grasped her waist and physically lifted her out of the baby's room and into the hallway. Pulling away for just a moment, he closed the door and returned to her. He seared her mouth with a blazing kiss, that heightened with their ever-growing need for one anther, it intensified with heat and desire as it grew in strength and momentum. Buffy could stand it no more, she pulled her head away from his to catch her breath, she looked and saw the clear burning naked desire for her in his eye's.

"If I say 'stop' will you?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes" Her reply was so quiet, that it was as if the oxygen never passed her vocal cords.

"Then you have your answer." With that Spike pulled away from her, took a step back, and put out a single arm extending it to her in invitation. She looked into those blue eye's that were bursting to the seams with emotion, desire and need.

She took his hand, and let him lead her to his bedroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Both still fully clothed, he lay beside Buffy on his bed, snuggled next to her, letting her get comfortable with both of them being there. Slowly he passed his hand over her hair, giving her reassuring caresses, listening to her slow breathing. Every now and then he kissed her softly and tenderly on the mouth. He made no demands on her, he just allowed her to feel comfortable with what he was doing, previous times it had been the deep burn of desire that scared her off. However, this was more, it meant more to both of them, neither wanted to mess this up, and both were caught up in the luxury of just being together, making promises of the future together

Contentment rushed over Buffy, as Spike accepted what she was willing to give, it showed his level of commitment to her, and she knew he would keep his word. She could feel herself begin to want to experience more than just a few kisses, she wanted to feel his hands on her, she craved the touch of his hands on her flesh. Taking the initiative, she bent her neck up, and kissed his jaw, following the outline of the curve of the bone, tasting the grooves of his chin with her tongue. Spike moved his hand around to the base of her skull, he applied a touch of pressure to make her hold her head still, and moved his searching lips to her own. They opened their mouths to each other, and plunged into a deep and breath stopping kiss. They slowly glided along each other's inner flesh, tasting each other's breath and sounds of desire that permeated from their union.

They continued the exploration of their desire for each other, enjoying this moment in time. The expression of trust that Buffy was showing to Spike, elated his senses even further, heightening his pleasure and feelings of want for her. Buffy felt more life in this moment in time than she had for a long time. She was euphoric, not only from being with him, but the fact she could feel safe and loved at the same time. It was a second chance for both of them and they were revelling in it, they allowed their emotions to grow in intensity, and burn deep into their senses.

Buffy allowed herself to go that little further, despite the millisecond of fear she felt, she took Spike's hand within her own and laid it bare on her breast. He pulled his head back, his eye's filled with questions, worry that she was okay, and concern that he would scare her away. She could see him swallow deeply, his Adam's apple bobbed up and down, and his eye's brightened as she responded to his silent questions with a small smile, and a gentle kiss. She lightly applied pressure to the hand that held her breast, moving her hand, so his gently moulded her own flesh, she could hear his sharp intake of breath, as he took the hint.

They changed tempo, Spike moved his hand away after some time had passed, and Buffy hadn't told him to cease his administrations to her body. He slowly drew his hand down her shirt, and lifted the hem up, running his hand along her abdomen, until it lay just under her bra. He watched the reaction on her face and in her eye's, looking for any sign of fear or rejection. Instead, they blazed with the raw emotion of craving, and the yearning for more. Taking it slowly, he traced the outline of her bra with his index finger, as he bent down and kissed her, tracing her mouth with his tongue, imitating the movement of that of his finger. Opening her mouth to him once again she deepened the kiss, Spike pushed the fabric away from her breast, exposing it to his hand. He held the weight in his hand, feeling the shape, and the soft texture of her flesh. Running the peak between his fingers, he gently squeezed until it formed a stiff peak, Buffy responded with a hushed moan of pleasure, as she felt the coil within her tighten in reaction to him.

"Buffy tell me....." Spike mumbled to her.

"No it's all good! I'm okay.....please...I'm.....okay...so far." Buffy's words stumbled out of her mouth, she didn't want it to stop just yet, it felt to good, and most importantly she felt alive!

Trying to stay within her comfort zone, Spike gently rolled her onto her back, he paused to see if she was still alright. She placed a hand on his jaw, running her thumb along his lips, until he took it into his mouth, suckling on it. Buffy felt a strike of burning desire race through her body, from the top of her head to the tips of her toes, a rush of air escaped her lungs, resulting in a 'uuuuurrggghhhhh' come from her lips.

Spike pulled the hem of her shirt slowly up, at the same time bending his body down to place kisses behind his hand, tickling her abdominal muscles as they tightened and contracted under his lips. Reaching down with both hands he undid her clasp, holding the wisps of fabric together, baring her breasts to his gaze. He tenderly massaged them, applying feather touch pressure to both peaks, watching her reaction to him in her eyes as they fired with hurtling desire.

Taking it one step forward he slid himself down her body, and lifted himself on his fore arms, he took one of the tips of the peaks into his mouth, and suckled it within the depth of his mouth, sending sparks of electricity down her energized nerve cells. He moved his mouth from breast to breast, giving equal time to each peak, stimulating every cell of her flesh, and giving reverence to every inch of skin within his reach.

Spike moved his hand down her abdomen, ceasing his movements at the tab of her pants, he suddenly stopped when Buffy abruptly grabbed his hair and pulled hard. Her face said enough for him to stop what he was doing, and gently pull her into his arms, he reclined back onto the bed, lifting her shirt over her exposed body. Spike lay himself next to her, and kissed her with such a gentle passion that it brought a single tear to her eye, it slid down her cheek and he followed it lapping up the water with butterfly kisses, until he had consumed all the sadness and fear it contained.

"It's alright! You're safe, I am never going to hurt you sweetheart, never. I promise you, never!"

"I know...but I want..."

"So do I Buffy, but one day at a time! Let's make it last, let's enjoy every moment we have like this. Until you're ready." Spike reassured the girl that lay in the bed beside him, "You know, waiting makes it even a more delectable sweet, it heightens the pleasure, and we could learn to draw it out for hours."

"But what about you?"

"What about me? Buffy it doesn't matter to me, having you here is one of the biggest turn ons I can have, hearing you moan under me makes me want you even more. But on your terms luv, or not at all. It's no fun when only one's having all the pleasure, and that we both had!"

"But you." Buffy was cut off.

"But me nothing, I want you yes, but I want you to be with me 100%. Hearing you gasp, feeling you shudder under me, having you hold onto me for dear life. That's more than enough for me."

"But?"

"But nothing, end of conversation. Time for rest, relaxation and sleep." Spike smoothed a hand over her head, "And whose bed will you be sleeping in tonight, Miss Goldilocks?"

"Papa Bear's and that's Ms Goldilocks to you thank you!" Buffy swatted Spike on the chest, joining in one his joke.

"What about your mum?"

"Like I said earlier, she knows where I am. It wouldn't take Einstein to work that out!" Buffy bottom lip hit her chin, "Not tonight Spike, please let's just enjoy tonight, and worry about it in the morning. Anyway mom has to get used to it, I think I'm going to be here a lot from now on!"

Spike gathered a blanket from the end of the bed, and attempted to cover them up, Buffy pulled it out of the way. Making her way out of the bed, she went to his draws, she pulled out an old black t-shirt, ~does he wear anything else! major shopping spree happening!~ she thought to herself, making her way to the en-suite, she shyly shut the door. Spike heard her throw something on the bathroom floor, mostly likely her clothes, and watched her emerge dressed in his shirt that just hugged her hips. Quickly she ran across the room, and dived under the covers. Taking her actions as a cue, Spike rumbled through his top draws looking for something to cover himself, finding only a pair of soft silk boxers that his mother sent him a million Christmas' ago, he staggered into the en-suite himself, and put them on in a hurry. He slowly open the door, and walked out, opening the window to let the night breeze in, then he turned the remaining lamp off. Buffy howled in laughter as the light went off. Spike stood bathed in moonlight, shaking his head in bewilderment, as he struggled to understand what she found so funny.

"Look down at your boxer's!!" Buffy said between howls of laughter.

An eerie glow filled the room from his boxer's front, as words formed over the fabric....

BITE ME