From Night to Day

Chapter Sixteen

Inspired by and dedicated to Kar (Karbear57) and also too slackerace who gave me the nudge…

Edited by Kar..thanks sweetie!!

Sanctuary
Part One

Buffy walked around the campus grounds surrounded by her friends as they headed to their fifth and final lecture on Friday. She was tired from the busy nights trying to do her assignments and research papers, so that she could spend the majority of her weekend with Spike and Imogen. It made the week days go faster because she had so much to look forward to, she had some time with him during the week, but he'd always make it short and sweet so as not to interfere with her studies, which was one thing he was insistent about. They made as much of that time as they could talking, relaxing and enjoying time with Imogen. Yet never anything intimate as they'd learned that their enthusiasm made her go home late, and her mom mad.

"So girls, a night on the town for our merry troop?" Xander asked the girls knowing that he would get some lame excuse not to go from all of them.

"Sorry washing my hair." Will replied giving up on trying to make up something that would sound plausible.

"I'm washing her hair too," Tara spoke quietly at Willow's side, "we're saving water."

"That is so lame!" Xander began to sprout at them slightly dismayed at their not wanting to go out anymore. "We never go out anymore! Is this the only place we're ever going to get to see each other?"

"Xander!" Buffy turned towards the male of the four, "We all have things to do this weekend. People too see, shopping to do and assignments to write."

"Boyfriends to see and friends to dump for!" Xander's green eyed monster showed itself, unfortunately he'd become a little jealous of the man that had stolen his best friend from him.

"Girlfriends that don't like us!" Buffy threw back at him.

"Anya doesn't hate you! She's just a little forwardy in her thinking and speech." Xander defended his girlfriend.

"More like socially inept!" Buffy was beginning to get riled up and what on earth was Xander trying to prove.

"Hey guys come on…" Willow tried to calm the two before it got out of hand. "Okay, so we don't get together as much as we used too, but…"

"But what Will?" Xander looked at his friend. "We never see each other outside of this place! Not like we used to."

"Okay, okay Xan, you've made your point, we need to get together more." Buffy nodded her head in agreement with him. "But I also have a life outside of here and the only time I get with my man is on the weekend. My mom makes it tough on us enough with out you adding to the grief!"

Xander looked away from his friend, he knew that after all the shit she'd been through with that animal Riley, she was due some happiness. Yet not at the total expense of all of them. He hoped that she wouldn't entirely forget her friends; maybe they all need to make a more concerted effort to see each other, and make time to do it. They had a strong unit of friendship that was just too stupid to through away, and maybe it was up to him to make headway to make sure that it didn't crack all together. Even if he had to make friends with the reason behind why the cracks where beginning to show.

"So make us part of your weekend, introduce your main squeeze to us. Let's get to know the man." Xander attempted to make the first step.

"'Main squeeze'! Xan that's even feeble for your standards!" Willow started to laugh at her friend's sometimes-backwards use of the English language, even though she knew he was trying. She could feel Tara's finger poking her in the back in response to her words, "Sorry Xander."

"So Buffster what do you say?" Xander began to put the pressure on.

"To what?" Buffy was still a bit taken aback by her friends' demand to meet Spike. Up to this point, she'd keep her life with him to herself, and she didn't know if she wanted to share in their private world just yet. She was still exploring it herself, it's newly found pleasures and the enjoyment she had as being a part of his everyday life. It was her shelter and haven from the rest of the world, Buffy knew one day she'd have to share and show him more of her world, but just not so soon. Yet she didn't know if she could, or just didn't want too.

Another thing that concerned her was just how he was going to feel about being around her much younger friends. He was a complicated man and one that she knew could adapt to any situation, but she feared that he may find her friends dull and boring. Not because they were, but because they were young and focused on making their way into the world where he had already established himself. She felt this fear because she supposed the same for herself that his friends may find her dull and boring because of her youth and inexperience in the world.

Buffy knew somewhere deep within herself that this wasn't really true, but the fear was deeply planted in her subconscious mind. Her doubts about herself always had a way of creeping into her life. Another concern was Imogen, how would they react to the baby, she doubted that any of them knew about the baby. She knew that it would just probably add fuel to the fire with Xander and give him another excuse to fire another round at her defences. It wasn't enough she guessed, for him to consider the fact that Spike was the reason that she was as happy as she was at the moment. Maybe she needed to remind him that despite Anaya's inadequacies, she brought out the man from the boy and had made him so happy that he was sometimes so deliriously happy that it was laughable. Anya had made him a better person.

"Coffee tomorrow if you ladies are all agreeable?" Xander asked as smoothly as he could, laying on the charm. He watched as mixed emotions crossed over each of the girls' face, Willow's in agitation as she knew just how fragile Buffy must be feeling. Tara's filled with concern over his pushing against the boundaries that Buffy maybe comfortable with, and Buffy's face filled in tense insecurity. "Come on Buffy, we gotta meet him sometime. Why not tomorrow?"

Buffy looked at each of the girls and saw their concern on their faces, and she could see the need to understand what was going on in her life written in his face. If it was really any of his concern anyway, but she could understand his desire she supposed to make sure that she was safe and happy, she hoped that was the deep seeded need why Xander needed to meet Spike. The next question was how she going to tell Spike that her friends wanted to meet him, he probably would be elated to finally meet her friends. Yet some of the fears that had surfaced during this conversation spoke loudly in her mind, making it difficult to decide what to do.

So with some great reluctance she nodded her head, "Espresso Pump at 4? How does that sound?" She just had to get herself there, it was a surety that Spike would go, but the most important thing was would she go. They chatted about everything else to avoid what had become a very uncomfortable discussion between the four. Turning finally into the building that housed their final lecture, the idle conversation ceased as they took their seats for the lecture. With one dark haired professor that had no pleasant looks for the young student in the third row, who didn't miss a single glance of displeasure on the professor's face.

Maybe she should think about it the prospective meeting in the afternoon some more and if necessary make up some plausible excuse if she needed to escape. All she really wanted was to find Spike, wrap herself within his body, and block out the world. To stay in their own seventh heaven they'd created together.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike sat at his desk in front of his computer going over the figures of the monthly budget, and as much as he hated to admit it, he just couldn't balance the funds. As usual, the spending outweighs the government grants, students' fees and private donations. Not even every creative accounting technique could hide the truth that the University was again way over budget. Unfortunately, it was like that every month since he'd taken this job, and it had been the same at the last University he'd worked in the U.K. With a slight knowing smile, it was nice to know that no matter wherever in the world you worked, education was never funded correctly.

The best he could do was present the truth to the Board of Trustees again this month, and try to explain it to the academics why they wouldn't be getting extra funding, and why they had to cut their budgets again. He'd have to listen to the accusations again that he wasn't doing his job correctly by the Deans of the Faculties, and diverting money too less important faculties than their own. Sometimes he really hated his job, and the Board of Trustees meeting was the least pleasurable things in the job, and despite all this the Chancellor would come and tell him after all the abuse what a good job he was doing.

Scratching his head he was trying to think of a way to soften the blow at the meeting tomorrow, but as usual his thoughts always wandered out the window and onto the lawn below. He would lose himself in the view of the window, hoping to see a glance of her, just a look, just for a second. Yet he never saw her and he knew he wouldn't unless she walked half of the campus to the Administration offices, the opposite site to any of where her lectures were. The window never graced her presence much to his disappointment, just once would make his day, just a look….

Picking up the phone he dialled her number for her cell phone by memory, he waited through the ring tone for her to pick up, until the engaged tone filled his ear. He looked up at the clock on the wall in defeat as he realised she'd be in her final class for the day, but he couldn't help himself as he hit the redial button on the phone. Again it rang out. Replacing the phone handle to its cradle he knew that he'd have to wait for her to ring him back if she looked at her phone later for missed calls. Looking back at the computer screen, he tried to lose himself in the numbers that blurred his vision. Somehow, he managed after sometime to work his way through the jumble of numbers to make some sense of them, but hit the wrong key losing his work for the last hour.

"Bloody hell, you stupid fucking piece of technological crap!" Spike exploded as he tried to retrieve the last data.

"Did the big bad man break his toy?" Buffy spoke softly from the doorway as she heard his unpleasant remarks to the inanimate object. "Spike, it's just a machine." Buffy broke out into laughter, as he began to go a deep shade of read in embarrassment at being caught out.

"I just lost all my bloody work!"

"Calm down and let me have a look!" Buffy moved into the room, and motioned for him to move away from his desk, which she moved directly in front of him and bent over to look at the screen and keyboard. "Okay simple!" he watched as she punched in a few commands into the computer and retrieved his work. "See easy fixed." She turned around to see him looking more at her behind than at the data that was back on the screen, Buffy turned back to the computer and saved the data onto the hard drive. Making sure that she subtlety and suggestively swayed her hips as she went about it.

"Are you finished Miss. Summers?" Spike moved his chair closer to her as she now leaned her bottom onto the front of the desk. Standing up he moved even closer as she slightly moved her stance apart to make way for his frame, sliding his hands from her hips until they lay on her cheeks, he pulled her into a deep kiss. He traced her mouth with his tongue as she teasingly refused to open her mouth to him she took her hands from the desk and lay them over his backside, softly massaging the flesh beneath her hands. Pulling him as close as she could to between her thighs, Buffy grinded herself over his front as she surrendered herself to his demanding kiss and let him in. She felt his gentle assault of her mouth begin immediately as he tasted every inch of her mouth, and entwined hers in their combined dance of ecstasy.

"Mr. Benson, the Dean of…." neither heard the approach of the department's secretary to his door. Both quickly pulled away quickly away form each other, with Buffy quickly dashing to the widow to hide her blushing complexion. Leaving Spike struggling to straighten his now wonky tie and having to deal with the older woman that didn't seem too shocked at finding him in a compromising situation. She didn't even blink as she continued, "Mr. Benson the Dean of Health Sciences would like these figures reviewed for the next Board of Trustees meeting."

"Thank you Mrs. Whitehall." Spike spluttered out his words as he looked between her and Buffy. "I…um…I"

"Nothing Mr. Benson, it's about time I'd say you found yourself a girlfriend," Mrs. Whitehall had never been one to hold back her thoughts on anything. "But in the office Mr. Benson? Show the young lady some respect!" She walked further into the room and placed the files she held onto the desk, "It's also Friday and everyone else has gone home for the day. Can I suggest that you do the same?"

"Umm..."

"It's nothing that I haven't seen before Mr. Benson, just go home and enjoy the weekend." Mrs. Whitehall walked out of the office thinking to herself, at least he isn't going to waste, or that awful professor woman hadn't seemed to get her hooks into him yet, even if the whole university knew she was out to get him.

Spike looked at very embarrassed Buffy that still refused to turn away from the window he moved behind her and placed his arms around her. He pulled her hair away from her neck and began to place soft kisses along her skin, and playful blew in her ear. Buffy let him play for a little while before she pulled away and faced him, still slightly blushing, her face filled with mortification at being caught.

"Hey don't be embarrassed," Spike smiled at her trying to reassure her. "We obviously aren't the first couple she's walked in on, and won't be the last."

"That doesn't make it any better! She found us…" Buffy gasped.

"She found two people kissing in an office Buffy! At least we weren't naked and shagging!" Spike smirked at the thoughts that filled his head. "But then again that's another fantasy of mine that I'd like to fulfil one day."

Buffy responded by hitting him on the arm, as she tried to move pass him and out the office. He caught her hand and pulled her to him, as he grabbed his coat from behind the chair that was a few feet from them. Taking her hand her lead her from the crime scene and down the hallway towards the exit. Once outside, quietly lead by him they made their way to his car he opened her door for her and made his way to the drivers seat, as he gunned the engine.

"If the office turns you off, I have another fantasy with you." Spike broke the silence.

Buffy voice cracked with her response, "Fantasy with me?"

"Yeah, you," Spike took his eyes of the road for a second to meet hers. "You and me." He looked at the road before, quickly turning his head and motioning to the backseat of the DeSoto.

"Oh."

"Have to take out the baby seat though."

"Baby seat?"

"Yeah more room," his eyes flashed quickly at her, a deep blue with a burning desire rushing through them, but he didn't miss the blush again in her cheeks. "Are you embarrassed again? Or shocked that I want to take you somewhere else besides a bedroom Buffy?"

"It's just something that I never…um...never really thought about," her words where so quiet that they were nearly silent. "Not that I'm saying that I wouldn't want to."

"Good Buffy, because I fully intend of having my wicked way with you whenever I can," Spike took a hand from the steering wheel and took her hand. "Or any wicked way you want to have me."

Buffy just blushed more if she could, it was something that she'd never really even considered because of the past that had held her in such a deep grip. Trust her to find someone that she truly loved and desired to have such a veracious appetite. She couldn't even fathom what was normal and what wasn't, because she'd shield herself so deeply from the world of desire. It looked like he was going to plunge her straight into the world of the unknown, but it was something that she was truly looking forward to embracing and exploring.

They drove towards the day-care centre to pick up Imogen and finally drive back to the Benson household. Spike pulled up to find Buffy lost in her thoughts and not even realising that they were home, as he shook her shoulder to make her aware of her surroundings.

"Lost little girl?"

"A little."

"Don't worry we'll find our way," both knew what he was referring to and to which Buffy was grateful to have found such a man, as the one that stood before him with a now howling grumpy baby in the backseat demanding to be feed her dinner. "But at least some one's clear on what she wants." He turned back to Buffy as he got out to retrieve Imogen from her baby seat, "You hungry Little Bit? Buffy?"

"Yes!"

"And for anything else?" the glint in his eye's flashed again.

"Yes," Buffy got out of the car and took Imogen from his hands, and began to walk to the front door with him. She stood back as he opened the door and let them in, "but that's for later mister!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Buffy watched as he prepared the evening meal for them, as he moved effortlessly through the kitchen, not like her usual mess she created when she tried to cook. She dreaded the day that he suggested that she cook for them, it would be a total disaster, and one that would bring shame to her mother that could make dirt taste like a gourmet dinner. Spike couldn't miss the look of concern that filled her face, his concern grew as the silence continued, a lot of things passed through his mind what could be worrying her, and he didn't like any of them.

"What's wrong, pet?" Spike put down the knife he held in his hand and came around to the table where she with Imogen in her lap. "You looked worried? Exam coming up?"

'No, it's nothing really."

"'Nothing really' doesn't look like what's on your face Luv. Unless it's serious, and I want to know." Spike took Imogen from her lap and placed her into the playpen beside the table. "I worry about you sometimes," he caressed her hair as it hung over her face. "Worry because I care, and I'm here for you. I need to know you're okay, and not going to run off!"

"I'm not running off, and it's nothing for you to worry about? It's my problem, okay?"

"Does it have something to do with what happened in the office?" He was worried that his forwardness about what he desired and fantasized may have been to much, maybe she wasn't ready for this type of play yet. "Or what I suggested Luv? If you're not ready…"

"It's not that. I..." Buffy looked away from his gaze. "My friends want to meet you, and they want to meet us tomorrow."

"Is that all?" his laughter filled the room. "I thought you were thinking..."

"It's serious Spike! These are my friends!" Buffy spluttered out with such intensity that it stopped him mid-sentence.

"What do you mean by that Buffy?" Spike respond with a quiet hushed voice as her true meaning hit him. "What haven't you told them about us that makes you so jumpy?"

"Nothing?"

"Then why are you so jumpy about me meeting them?" Spike tilted her face in his palm as he tried to seek the truth in her eyes. "Why Buffy? Are you ashamed of something or me? Have you kept silent about me, like a dirty little secret?"

"NO! They know about you!" Buffy stood up placing a hand on his cheek in reassurance. "They know that we are together! That you're the reason that I'm happy!"

"Then what, Buffy? Why are you so worried about them meeting me?"

"They…they're younger than you. You might.."

"Might what? Find them what?" Spike asked her quietly. "Boring? Childish? Dull?"

"Yes."

"Do I find you boring, childish and dull, Buffy?" Spike turned away from her and took one step back from them and shook his head in astonishment. "If I found you like that Buffy, do you think that I'd be here with you? Seriously?"

"No." Buffy hung her head in shame at even thinking the thoughts that went through her mind.

"Since we are on the subject, maybe there's something that's bothering you about me?"

"No." Buffy replied so silently that the falseness of her statement was obvious.

"Don't lie to me Buffy. Never lie to me!" Spike voice carried his obvious anger towards her. "What is it about me that you haven't told them?"

Buffy stood still and didn't dare move a muscle she was afraid to cause more grief than she already had. She just didn't know what to tell him or how to tell him her concerns about why she hadn't told her friends the whole truth about him. She reluctantly pulled her head up too meet his hurt gaze, and watched as he walked to pull Imogen out of the playpen. He looked down at his daughter then to the woman that stood looking so helpless in the kitchen. He played with Imogen as he put her into her highchair in readiness to feed her dinner. Buffy looked even more guilty at him as he went about the task, it instantly hit him.

"They don't know about Imogen, do they?" Reality came into play as he imagined the worst. "You haven't told them about my baby? That your boyfriend's a single dad?"

"No they don't know about Imogen, I don't know how they would react?" Buffy voice cracked under the pressure of her confession. "I don't know if they, well one, would take the news well."

"Does their opinion mean that much to you?"

"Spike you mean more to me than that?"

"It doesn't feel like that at the moment Luv." Spike moved back into the kitchen to put Imogens dinner on her bowl, and moved it place it in front of her. He watched as she grabbed the shredded carrot in one hand and shovelled it into her mouth with her fingers. "I need to know that we mean more to you than anything in the world!"

"You do, both of you!" Buffy felt the tears begin to threaten to take form behind her eye sockets. "You gave me back mine and brought me back from a non-existence that was killing me!"

"Then why do I feel like you've shut me out from everyone else that's important in your life!"

"Because I'm stupid and a fool!" Buffy turned away from him as the tears began to cascade down her face. "And because I'm afraid that you'll think you can never be a part of my friends! That they'll try and talk me out of being with you and Imogen!"

"Could they Buffy?" Spike moved behind her as he confronted her. "Can they talk you out of being with me and Imogen?"

Chapter Seventeen

Sanctuary

Part Two

Thanks to Kar (Karbear57) for her great editing skills..missed you babe!!!

Buffy wiped the tears that ran down her face away, as he placed a hand on her shoulder and turned her around. She still couldn't meet his gaze, after everything that had passed between them, the one thing that she didn't want to see was the disappointment in his face. She could have dealt with any accusations, but never disillusionment.

"Could they Buffy?" Spike asked her again. "Could they break what's between us?"

"No!" The silence that followed echoed through out the room and was broken only by Imogens' squeals as she played with her dinner. "I'm here to stay no matter what."

'Then look at me." Spike spoke as he encircled her within his arms. "Look at me and tell me that!" She looked at him for a spilt second before retreating, only too stare at his shoulder, and was shocked at the fear that filled his eyes. The hesitancy of what she was feeling was so clear to see. With a sniffle she gathered the courage to look at him, as he responded by gently kissing her upper lip, just a soft caress of his mouth on hers trying to reassure Buffy of his commitment to her. "I want and need you so much!"

"Just as I need you!" Buffy looked at him finally. "Nothing is going to change that! You can be sure of that!"

"But you don't want me to meet your friends is that it?" Spike asked her again.

"I do, it's just that I don't know if I want to share you, us just yet."

"Share us?"

"You are my sanctuary in this world, the place I come to rest and take refuge from the outside world." Buffy told him, looking so vulnerable and fragile.

"Buffy that I maybe, but there's a big wide world out there, and we are in it together. This house and I are not another world. It's not a place to run too when the big bad world rears its ugly head." Spike shook his head, "I am not an escape for anyone Buffy. I don't use you as an escape when I need to run from the reality of the world. I've done enough of that already in one lifetime!"

"Already?" Buffy looked questioningly at him.

"Yeah Luv. Remember car accident, dead wife and raising my kid alone." Spike let her go and walked back into the kitchen as he took up his knife again, to resume cutting up the vegetables on the table.

"Oh god!" Buffy quickly moved to stand behind him. "I'm sorry..." She moved her arms around his torso, hugging him to her as closely as she could. "So sorry," Buffy felt like she'd just kicked him in the guts. Sometimes she totally forgot the first few weeks he was here and the total sense of devastation that had clouded around him, when he moved in. She'd been so caught up in her own self, that she forgot just what a mess he'd been in, and surely what a relief she must have been too him. She'd been the key for his release from his own hell, just as he had been hers, their joined lives had given her a new life that she forgot the past. He must think about her now and then but how could she be so stupid to think otherwise? His constant reminder sat in the playpen, playing with her toys and gurgling with a smile when she caught one of the adults' attention.

"I'm a 'bad rude girl'" Buffy spoke quietly as she tried to reassure him. "A bad rude girl, that loves you and Imogen. I'm just a little confused with the whole 'my friends' bit. But I am here with you because I need you just as much as you need me! No one or nothing is ever going to change that!"

Spike stopped chopping the minute she said the word 'love', as it melted his heart and defences like it always did. He could never resist her once she said that word, and he could almost forgive her anything, as hard as she was making it, he could understand her reasoning a little. As much as it cut through him that, she wasn't sure if she wanted him to meet her friends, he would have to eventually and they'd have to accept him, warts and all. He was not giving her up for anything or anyone, his streak of possessiveness ran deep within him, he remembered the depths of it when he smashed into the college boy with his fists.

He looked at his daughter playing blissfully in ignorance as to what was going on between the adults, Imogen was the most important piece in this whole puzzle, he couldn't do anything without considering her, ever. Yet he needed to know that they both meant as much to Buffy as Imogen and herself meant too him. He wasn't going to press her into a deeper commitment yet with her being so young, but he needed it. Needed too be sure that she would always be there. He turned around and faced her, his gaze strong with emotion and need, as he gently pushed her away from him a little.

"Call you're mum."

"Why?"

"Just call her and tell her that you won't be home tonight."

"She already knows that I won't be home for dinner," Buffy replied.

"No tell her that you're staying tonight, here with me."

"But I always go home on a Friday night?"

"Buffy, I want you here tonight with me and Imogen. In my bed tonight where you belong." He spoke with such force and need that she couldn't help but breakaway from him and pick up the phone and dial home.

He went back to cooking their evening meals, he knew he'd pushed the issue but he wanted her here tonight, and if he truly had his way he would have her here every night. He sometimes lay in his bed during the week yearning for her, wanting to creep over next-door and sneak into her window to have her in her bed. Spike listened as she told her mother that she was staying tonight and the rest of the weekend, and that 'yes all her assignments where finished' and that she would be over 'sometime to see her'. Buffy fiddled with the cord that hung between the cradle and base of the phone, a clear sign that her mother was putting up some resistance. Yet it would seem that he would have his way and have her over tonight. It was a beginning and it would have to satisfy his need for now.

"Okay I'm staying tonight." Buffy put the phone down on the cradle and returned to stand beside him. "I have to see mom tomorrow and I need to get some things."

"Fine," was all he said in reply.

Silence covered the room between the two as he continued to prepare the meal, as Buffy retreated to sit on a chair next to Imogen, and began to clean up some of the mess that the youngster was creating from her dinner. Spike watched her as she went about her task, a little sad that she felt the way she did, he'd hoped that she would have jumped at the chance to introduce him to her friends. He could understand some of her reluctance, but he was greatly concerned over her fear about introducing him to her friends and not telling them about Imogen. His baby was part of the package, and one that she had to accept about him, and the impact that it had on their relationship. Imogen was one of the most important things in his life, and the thought that she had any reservations about any aspect of that disturbed him.

Was he being too demanding in expecting this from her? Spike had hoped that as their relationship grew in strength and longevity, that she would assume more responsibility towards the growth and development of his little girl. In the long term, he supposed he hoped that she would accept a nurturing role in her life, and eventually take on the mothering role. He'd seen her move somewhat into that role as she played and socialised with his daughter, he knew that she wasn't ready to be the girls 'mother'. Yet as his partner he hoped that she would see that he encouraged her to develop her relationship with Imogen.

Was he expecting too much from her, a woman of eighteen to take on such a role? He swallowed hard at the reality that maybe she didn't want to have such a strong bond with Imogen, but it was something that he was counting on. That the bond with Imogen would tie her more strongly to him, and cement their relationship. He also recognised that she was sacrificing a lot to be with them in her free time, that they couldn't do the 'normal' things that a couple her age would be doing. Maybe he needed to make sure that she did things a girl her age should be doing, or he thought she should be doing, especially remembering what he did at her age. Going out and having fun with her friends on the weekend, parties and exploring new things.

As time passed he finished their meal and placed it in front of her where she sat, she'd been watching him serve the meal up on the bench and had sat forward, waiting for him to serve it to her. He placed the other plate he held on the next seating place, and sat down as she placed cutlery in front of him that had sat on the table ready for them, but never set. She watched as he picked up the fork and began to eat the meal. His silence was eating away at her, Spike was one never to be silent as he sat down to a meal. It only made her more on edge and angry with herself that things had disintegrated between them tonight.

She turned in her chair slightly towards him, and took his hand that lay on his lap; he immediately put his fork down and looked at her. With still no words coming from her, she raised his hand to her mouth and placed a soft kiss on his hand, and turned it over and did the same. She looked into his gaze with a lost look of sadness, which within contained her feeling of desolation. Buffy watched as he pulled his eyebrows together and closed his eyes at her obvious pain, the harsh expelling of his breath showed his frustration. He took the hand that held his and brought it to his cheek; still with eyes closed he turned his face into her palm, as ran her hand along his cheek, at times placing a butterfly kiss onto her palm, as it brushed past his mouth.

Finally, he opened his eyes, as he couldn't bare the silence between them any longer, they'd both moved so far away from the desolation that had held them suspended within their lives before they'd meet each other. Both had invested so much in each other and themselves to let it crumble beneath them for such a stupid reason. It also opened up the question how would she react when he wanted the same from her. At some point, she would have to enter his social circle and he didn't want her to have any hesitation when she took her first step into it. There would be social events that would require his presence, especially University functions and he fully intended to have her by his side, clear for the world to see that she was his.

So it would seem that the hurdles within their relationship where begin to pop up into their relationship. Yet he knew that he would do anything to make it as smooth a path for them as possible, he had no intension on letting his second chance at life go. He lent over and kissed her gently on her lips, pulling back he slightly smiled, pulling the strand of hair that had fallen on her face. She weakly returned his smile, even though it was clearly cracked and frail.

"Please Luv, don't fret. We'll sort it out." Spike spoke trying to reassure her.

"Okay," was all she was capable of uttering.

Both went back to eating or rather picking at the food that remained on their plates, round and around in circles it went on the plate. They sat their until Imogen had eaten as much as she was going to, and throwing the rest on the floor, trying to make the important people in her life smile at her antics, even though she seemed to do an abysmal job. Finally, Spike picked up his daughter from her high chair and rested her on his hip as he walked into the kitchen for a dishcloth to clean up the mess that she had left behind. Buffy watched as he went into the kitchen, as she got up to get the broom from near the back door top sweep up Imogens mess, he moped up the mess the best he could with the cloth missing large spots. Buffy motioned for him to leave the cleaning up to her and take Imogen upstairs for her bath and bed time, she knew that after that point she just didn't know where their night was going.

He'd said to her that he wanted her to spend the night where she belonged 'in his bed', but tonight had been their first she supposed argument and she just wasn't sure what she was supposed to do. Did he expect her too eventually go upstairs to their bed of her own accord and wait for his reaction, or sit downstairs until he eventually took her to bed. She swallowed hard, he'd never shown such a possessive streak when there had just been the two of them, yet she wasn't afraid just a little unsure of it. He'd shown such needed for her tonight in some moments that was strangely reassuring to her, his needed for her too say that she was his was illuminating in showing what a strong hold she had in his life.

Taking the initiative she walked out of the kitchen turning off all the lights as she went, she could see the clock on the wall display the time at 8.17pm. She turned her face upstairs as she heard him bath Imogen and the games he was entertaining the youngster with. Buffy walked along the hallway until she came into the master bedroom and turned on the lamps, giving the room a soft glow. Walking back into the hallway she walked into the nursery, turning on the light so as too illuminate the hallway so Spike could find his way back, and put his daughter to bed. Hopefully at the same time realise what awaited him in the master bedroom.

Returning to the master bedroom, she rummaged through her side of the closet until she found exactly what she was looking for. Taking them out she went into the en suite to shower and change into something she hoped would make him stand there agog as he saw her. Spike could hear the water running in his bed room as he dried Imogen from her bath and carried her into the hallway, he could not notice that all the house lights were off bar two, Imogens room and the master bedroom. Quietly he walked across to the nursery, put his daughter into her pyjamas, and placed her into her cot. He watched as she began to settle down for the night, yet his mind couldn't wounder what in hell was going on in his bedroom.

He could only speculate that Buffy had decided to move things into the bedroom, he shook his head at what he thought might be her attempt to placate him with sex. She still had somethings to learn about him, and one of those was as much as he loved being with her he would never accept her into his bed if she thought that she could manipulate him through sex. With a deep breath he walked out of Imogens room until he stood at the bedroom door, he pushed the door to find Buffy standing at the window pulling back the curtain to let the moonlight penetrate the room and illuminate her to his sight. His lips opened slightly at the sight that stood before him, as Buffy slowly turned around.

She stood in a sheer black baby doll nightie and stockings that he'd brought her that day in the mall, the moonlight didn't hide any of her beauty as he could see every inch of her skin that peered through the fabric. She quietly sauntered towards him as her bare feet moved along the carpet.

"Buffy…"

"Shhh," Buffy stopped in front of him as she pulled his face down for a kiss. "I'm where you want me. I want to show you how much I want you. How much I need you."

"Buffy," Spike spluttered. "Sex isn't the answer to a disagreement."

"I…" Buffy pulled back from him in astonishment. "This isn't about tonight! This is about you and me. This is about us, me wanting to be with you!" She quickly withdrew further into the room and grabbed her dressing gown that had sat on the dresser chair. Buffy quickly pulled it around her, covering herself from his sight.

"Is it?"

"You said that you wanted me her in your bed where I belonged!"

"You've never initiated our making love before Buffy," Spike said matter of fact. "So why now? It seems such a coincidence?"

"So you're saying that only you can make the first move? That's chauvinistic Spike!"

"No I'm not Buffy! I'm stating fact!" he walked further into the room and stood before her. "I just want to know that this isn't about making things up too me about our disagreement or you manipulating or placating me with sex Buffy!"

"How can you say that!" Buffy turned her hand towards his face, "God you can be a pig!" Spike grabbed her hand before her hand connected with his cheek, he pulled her close to his body as she tried to get her hand lose form his. He wound his other hand around her waist to hold her to him, "Let me go!"

"Tell me that this not because of the argument! Tell me that you're here because you want me! That you want to feel me inside you and feel us as one!" Spike pulled her as close as he could to his body as he ground his erection into her and made obvious to her his desire for her. "That you love me, want me and need me!"

"I've already told you that I want and need you! Fuck Spike, are you thick!" Buffy tried to pull away from him. "What am I supposed to do? Wait for your majesty to always tell me when you want to fuck me!"

"We don't fuck Buffy! We never have!" Spike was taken aback by her language, it was not what he expect to hear from her and he didn't like it, not one bit. "We make love Buffy!"

"How would I know the difference Spike? For all I know this is just a fuck for you!"

"Buffy where in bloody hell did this come from?" Spike looked at her with a quizzical frown. "Do you want to know what a fuck is Buffy? Do you?" He bodily picked her up, grasping her hips onto his own as he forced her to hold onto him, as he quickly moved forwards and slammed her onto the wall. He untied her dressing gown and pulled it apart, grasping the fragile fabric of the nightie he pulled onto it as it tore under his grip, baring her breasts to him. He swiftly to one of her breasts into his mouth as he roughly sucked on the peak and bit it softly, his free hand grasped her panties at the side and tried to tear it apart. Buffy pushed at his shoulders as his assault upon her began to frighten her, even in his dark passion he could hear her pleas for him to stop.

He raised his head to see her tears streak her cheeks and the fear in her eyes, he immediately released her from his grip. He stumbled backwards until his feet felt the back of their bed, he feel backwards onto it clutching his hands to his face in disbelief at what he had done. "Buffy I'm sorry." He couldn't look at her and see what he'd done to her. "Buffy please, I'm sorry. Please don't be afraid..." He got up, but still didn't look at her as he left the room. She watched him walk to to the guest room, open the door and close it behind him, as she wiped the tear that ran down her cheek. She walked to the bed and lay down on it, she closed her mind to the world around her but she couldn't block out the sobs that she heard come from the guest room. Buffy closed her eyes as she curled herself into a ball and allowed the tears to overcome her, and after along time thankfully sleep.

She dreamed of days filled with joy with him and Imogen, nights filled with passion and love and the nightmare of Riley. Around and around they played in her mind until her ultimate nightmare, Spike became Riley as he tore at her clothes as she begged him to stop. She struggled against the dream until she woke up in damp sheets from the sweat that covered her body. The images that filled her dreams flowed through her mind, she shivered at her subconscious comparing Spike to Riley, and it made her feel like she wanted to vomit. Deep down she knew that his reaction tonight had come from a dark side of him that he'd never revelled to her before, one that she knew he'd never release on purpose. The person she saw was not the Spike she knew, and his immediate reaction after it confirmed it, he was sickened by his own actions. Not wanting to ever feel this fear of any man again, she took the strength she'd found in herself through him, and decided to do the only thing that she could. Confront him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike lay in the guest room sickened and disheartened, he lay quietly for hours still in his rumpled clothing, just laying there waiting for her to leave the house, but she never did. He could see that she still had the lights on in the bedroom as a soft light penetrated from under the doorframe. The night had just gone for bad to worse, he knew that all his actions had be unfounded and unforgiving, he rightly fucked up badly. Spike desperately wanted to go back to her, hold her as she lay in their bed and comfort her, but he knew that this was just wishful thinking. Some where deep inside he wished that she had left the house, because wanting to hold her wouldn't be an option and at least if she left he knew that she was angry with him. Yet with her lying in the next room he could only guess at what she was thinking, and that was what so hard to try to imagine at this time. He turned over in the bed, punching into the pillow in frustration as he heard a soft cry from the hallway, with a lot of effort he placed his feet on the ground and got out of the bed.

Walking into the hall he went into Imogens' room as her cries intensified into howls, he picked her up from her cot, and lifted her to his nose. Her needs were obvious, as he placed on the change table and attended to her, but she continued to cry with hunger. Spike peered through the door to find the master bedroom door still closed, he made his way down to the kitchen to prepare a bottle for her. Placing it into the microwave, he waited for the milk to heat up, murmuring to Imogen and gently stroking her head he tried to soothe her with soft words. He never saw the figure stand in the shadows watching his back as he stood in front of the microwave, tenderly attending to his child.

Buffy felt her insides hurt at this display between father and daughter, Spike was so complicated, images flowed through her mind of him, as father, friend and lover, but this was one that always affected her the most. He always seemed to let everything go when he was just with Imogen, she knew that he was slowly letting her invade every part of his life, his daughter included. She reflected on how he must have felt when he learnt that she hadn't told her friends about Imogen, she imagined it would have been devastating as his daughter was the central focus in his world. Even if she left, Imogen would always be there. Buffy swallowed hard as she realised the extent of the devastation she must have caused him.

One strong truth here was he had become the centre of her world, and Imogen was a part of him, an extension of him. She'd always accepted that, but why she'd never acknowledged her to her friends was a terrible mistake, a mistake that she intended to rectify as soon as she could, and whether they accepted that or not was up to them. Buffy had a more important thing to do in the here and now, try and regain ground over what had been lost between them last night. Walking out of the shadows as the microwave pinged she watched as he struggled with his distressed daughter and trying to retrieve the bottle from where it stood.

"Give Imogen to me," Buffy now stood behind him, holding her hands out to take the child. She saw the ruddy look of his eyes and the grey shadows that lay under them, and the look of shock was clearly written on his face. Without any hesitation, his handed Imogen over to her.

Taking her from him, she sat herself down onto the nearest chair and began too gently rock the youngster on her lap, softly talking to her with soothing words. Imogen laid her head onto her shoulder, gulping in deep breaths between cries of hunger, Buffy stroked her hand over her back and head. Spike tested the heat of the drink and as he approached them with the bottle, he sat in the opposite chair with his hands out ready to take Imogen back to feed her. Buffy shook her head, lifted Imogen into a laying position in her lap, and took the bottle from him, offering it to the child that lay within her arms.

Spike sat back into the chair, his arms lay in his lap as he finally allowed himself to properly look at her as she feed Imogen, and he saw that she had on one of his black t-shirts beneath the dressing gown that she'd earlier been wearing. He could hear Imogen noisily suck on the bottle and the rush of air between gulps, he watched as Buffy turned the bottle occasionally and change the angle she held it at as Imogen feed. Finally, his daughter finished the bottle, Buffy placed the bottle on the table and handed Imogen back to Spike so that he could pat and rub her back to burp her. She got out of her chair, moving into the kitchen to rinse the bottle, she heard Spike get out of his chair and walk out of the room. His steps on the staircase softly echoed through out the house.

She gathered all the strength that she had, as she quickly followed in his footsteps back up to the nursery, she waited patiently at the doorframe as she watched him put Imogen back to bed and settle her in. She still stood there as he tried to leave the room, he wouldn't meet her gaze she could feel the guilt and sorrow pouring from him. She let him slightly pass her as she grabbed his hand and halted his further passage out; leading him by the hand, she walked them back into the master bedroom. She brought them to a standstill in front of the bed, she turned to face him and began to undress him. He did nothing to help her, just looked at her as she went about what she was doing, his shirt was pulled from his body, and his trouser undone and slide down his hips as she completed her task. Undoing the dressing gown she stood beside him just in the t-shirt and panties.

Getting into the bed she moved to her side, pulled back the covers and got under them, drawing the bed covers down she put out her hand in invitation to him. Accepting, he moved onto and beneath the sheets on the bed, he came to lie on his side facing her. Buffy moved closer to him as she drew him into her embrace and slid closer to his body, she rested her hand over his and drew it around her waist, leaving her hand to rest on his on waist.

"Sleep," was her only word that broke the heavy silence between them.

He closed his eyes at her command and let the tension that had come to rack his body flow from him, he felt her shift slightly as he felt her lips gently brush his own. Still unable to open his eyes, he returned the soft gesture with his own, pulling her as close as he could too himself. With a sense of great relief, he could feel himself give into sleep as he heard her final words.

"No matter what happens, you and Imogen are my world. Let nothing come between us, ever Spike. You are my sanctuary."

From Night to Day

A/N thanks to Kar for another excellent edit job...

Chapter Eighteen

Friends

Buffy woke as the morning rays of the sun penetrated through the curtains edge, a dim light spread through the room as she looked around her. She lay on her side with Spike cuddling her from behind, as they lay spooned together in their bed; she slightly stretched herself against him. Feeling her movements Spike pulled her closer towards his body as she arched her back, not content with that he slipped his hand under the shirt she'd gone to bed in and glided it up over her breast. Buffy could feel his breathing become deeper and increase in pace; he gently squeezed the globe in his hand, rolling the hardening peak between his fingers. With a start, he awoke pulling himself away from her, remembering his actions from the night before, he slid to the furthest point on their bed he could.

"I'm sorry," he started to pull the linen away from his body, turning himself over to climb out. Buffy reached over halting his progress, pulling him back into the bed and covering them both with the linen.

"It's okay," Buffy ran a hand up to his cheek and lightly kissed him on the mouth.

"I don't know what to say...I," he stumbled on his own words. "Forgive me."

Buffy pulled him closer into a deeper embrace, as she wrapped herself around him like a safe cocoon. Responding to her touch he tightened his own hold on her, he kissed the top of her head, grateful that she hadn't left after the treatment he'd given her last night. He felt like ripping his own hands off for touching her like he had. His gut tightened in revulsion at the thought of what he could have done in his angry response to her wondering if she was just 'a fuck to him'. So many bad memories of the last 12 months had surfaced to the top, threatening to destroy what he'd gained over the last few months with Buffy. The total truth was that he wasn't going to let anything or anyone take her away from him, her own insecurities or any outside influences like her friends. Yet this was no excuse for how he'd reacted, he could only imagine the horror that she must have gone through as he pushed her up against the wall, as felt his own pain flood through his system.

"You scared me," Buffy whispered against his shoulder. "You really scared me."

"I shouldn't have done it Luv. I have no excuse for myself," Spike ran a hand down her hair. "You must think me an evil soulless thing."

"No…" Buffy pulled her head away from his shoulder. "You've proven yourself to me over and over again, yes this isn't what I would have hoped for you to have done, but we'll work through it." Buffy looked directly at him and with the inner resolved that she'd discovered so long ago with his help and as contradictory as that sounded she warned him. "You do it again and I'll punch you in the nose!"

Spike pulled himself back from her as she made her intentions clear that she wouldn't put up with that kind of behaviour like that ever again. He closed his eyes as he digested her words of warning, he doubted that it would just be a punch in the nose, more like leave him and rip his world apart, something that he knew he couldn't survive a second time. Losing his wife had been bad enough, but to lose his second chance was unforgivable.

"I'll try sweetheart, I'm sorry…so sorry," Spike kissed her sweetly on the lips, soft gentle kisses, not demanding but reassuring her of his commitment and need of her.

"It's not that simple, Spike," Buffy held his face between her hands. "You get another chance, don't fuck it or me around….." Buffy pulled her head around to the door as her words were stopped by the soft cries of need from Imogen's room, pulling the linen away from them she pulled herself away from his form. "I don't want anything coming between us ever either Spike, but when are you going to learn…" Her words fade against the now howling cry of Imogen in the back round.

Disparaged at her words he abruptly pulled himself away from her and got out of the bed, he couldn't say anything to her because he knew that he deserved every one of her words. The stung deep down into his soul, and burned his flesh deeper than any wound could. Turning away from her, he left the bedroom and made his way to his scrawling daughter, pushing the door open he saw her standing up in her cot, holding onto the bars crying her heart out, he couldn't see her face as it was hidden by the bars of the cot. Buffy had seemed to have followed him, as she pushed passed him and went to the crying infant.

Recognising her cries, she knew what her immediate need was, a new diaper. Pulling her out of the cot, she continued to cry but not as much as before, being in Buffy's arms soothed her mood. She cooed and patted Imogen;s back between getting things ready for her on the change table, lying the little girl down she unclasped her pyjama bottoms she went about the task. Spike just stood there, watching on in amazement at Buffy as she concentrated on her charge, he seemed to have missed seeing that despite not being the little girls mother, Buffy recognised Imogen's cries. It would seem that she had for a very long time, when he really thought about it, he'd been bleating on about wanting and hoping that she would take on a nurturing role in his child's life, and it seemed like she already had. Maybe he hadn't seen it, too frightened that she never would want too be that involved with Imogen, 'stupid git!' he berated himself.

"She loves you," Spike spoke quietly behind her, "you know that don't you?"

"Yes I know," Buffy finished changing the child and lifted her back into her arms, holding the girl against her chest, smelling the lovely scent that the baby now gave off. "I love her too."

"You've got her wrapped around your little finger." Spike continued just to talk above a whisper. "Just like you have me." He quietly moved away from the doorframe he now leaned on and walked down the corridor down towards the staircase.

Looking down at the little girl in her arms, she thought about his departing words, talking a deep breathe she moved the baby higher onto her hip, as she carried the youngster down the corridor and onto the landing of the staircase. "Your dad can be so thick sometimes, I just want to hit him over the head," Buffy ruffled her soft hair as Imogen began making 'ba ba ba' sounds. Surprised at the new sounds out of the little girl she clambered down the staircase and into the kitchen where Spike stood in front of the microwave heating Imogens' milk. 'Ba-ba' Imogen squealed out the sounds, clapping her hands together as Buffy sat down at the dinning table, her surprise forgotten once she saw how lost he looked. Spike taking the bottle from the microwave he handed it to her, as Imogen flapped her hands in direction of her drink, Buffy held the bottle until she began sucking on the teat.

"So lit bit, after breaky are we going to get ready?" Buffy spoke to the youngster as she feed her. "Maybe your pretty red dress and stripy stockings?"

"Ready?" Spike questioned her. "For what?"

"Coffee," Buffy looked defiantly at him. "Remember café, coffee, seats, table, chatter and….my friends."

"Friends? Right. You're gonna meet your friends for coffee?" Spike turned back towards the sink and threw a pile of cutlery that lay on the side of the sink into it. "I would have thought that we could have spent the day together Buffy." The large clang was enough to startle Imogen as she drank, looking around her she saw her father in distress and began pulling away from Buffy, struggling against the tight hold she had on the youngster, Imogen held her hands out for her father.

"Spike," Buffy took the fidgety child over to him. "We are spending the day together. Remember day to meet the friends? Need to introduce boyfriend to friends and friends to boyfriend's baby. Does that ring a bell for you?"

"God, I can be a right fucking stupid git?" Grasping onto the sink she watched as the blood drained from his hands at the pressure he was exuding on them. "Fuck! Can I get anything right?" Running a hand through his short curly hair he whispered more profanities, watching him struggle within himself Buffy placed a hand over one of Imogens ears.

"Spike please…innocents in the room!" Buffy handed Imogen finally over to her father. "Please don't pull yourself apart about this…what's happened…we've both been through enough grief today and last night Spike...let it go okay. I need you to let it go."

"Fine," he spoke quietly, pulling Imogen onto his hip he looked at his daughter as she played with a tuff of a curl of hair. "Okay lil bit time for a bath."

Buffy stood there as she watched him disappear upstairs, she glared a little bit at the uneaten baby food on the table; Imogen would have to be brought back to eat the poor mite. But quickly as the thought entered, it was replaced by a more pleasing one, one that would show him that she was really serious about what she said. Running up the stairs she heard the faucet of the bath go on as she ended up at the doorframe of the bathroom, she looked on as Spike undressed Imogen, letting the water fill the bath. Holding the baby in his hand, he held the thermometer in the water making sure that it wasn't to hot, he placed Imogen into the bath ring that was suctioned onto the bath floor, giving stability and something for the youngster to hold onto as she sat in it.

Spike began to wash her, fully aware that Buffy stood at the doorframe but what he didn't expect was for a naked Buffy to touch his shoulder and pull him away from the bath. With little delay, Buffy pulled Imogen out of the bath ring and pulled it out of the bath and onto the floor, making sure she was careful as she lowered herself into the bath with Imogen squealing in her arms. With a gobbed smacked Spike looking on, he sat back onto his haunches as he watched the two play in the water, Buffy squeezing the squeaky toys at Imogen as she tried to take them from her hands. Buffy played with Imogen for a while until she finally looked at him, smiling she turned the taps back on letting the water begin to cover them both, careful not to add too hot water.

"Well Spike?" Buffy looked questionably at him. "You look like you need a bath, too."

Taking the hint he stood and undressed himself quickly, standing now naked on the side of the tub he felt a little awkward. Buffy pulled herself forward as she made room for him to climb in behind her, feeling the swish of the water, she looked back as she watched him settle himself behind her. Pushing her herself back between his legs, she made a groove for herself and Imogen as she lay back onto his chest, she arranged Imogen onto her shoulder letting his daughter begin to pull on her fathers nose.

After those first awkward moments she could feel him begin to relax against her, as Imogen tried to crawl over her and get to her father as he pulled faces at her. Buffy sighed at the feeling of contentment she felt, they were together enjoying a quiet moment they deserved considering the line of fire they maybe heading into this afternoon. Feeling Spike kiss her shoulder, she turned around and kissed him gently on the lips as much as their awkward positioned allowed. Not happy at missing out Imogen banged her hand between the adults and lifted her face towards Buffy as she demanded a kiss too.

Buffy looked behind her, "I think Daddy brought his own toys with him into the bath." Buffy giggled as Spike's trademark cocky smirk filled his face and as she looked down into the water, couldn't help but add, "Down boy!"

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~

Later that day both approached the main street of the city shopping district, Buffy pushed the stroller that Imogen sat in, as Spike walked with his hand around her shoulder. Occasionally stoping to look at the windows of the stores, or going into them to pick up a few items that caught their eye, especially the new skirt that caught Buffy's keen eye, she almost revolted when Spike pulled out his wallet to pay for it. Giving in to him only after she noticed the price tag and knew she could never afford it, putting it back on the rack at one stage only to have him rip it out of her hand and taking it himself to the sales clerk.

Looking at her watch she noticed the time and mentioned to him that it was time to meet with her friends. With an even slower pace, they made the way to the Espresso Pump, the popular coffeehouse of the area, from the outside it looked like no one was there yet. Sitting herself at one of the tables, pulling a seat aside to make way for the pram, Spike sat himself next to her.

"Nervous?" Spike took one of her hands that sat on the table.

"A kinda little scared," Buffy tightened her grip on his hand "But only a little."

Weaving her way to them a waitress asked for their order, shrugging her shoulders to Spike in reply to what she wanted, he ordered them a coffee each. Moving around to the pram he took out a juice for Imogen and handed it to Buffy, at the site of a drink the youngster greedily made a grab for the bottle. Leaning over the pram she held it for the youngster as she drank from it, her ears pricked up as she heard familiar voices behind them coming from the shop. She could hear their chatter as they sat down inside, not sure what they were doing she turned to face them, trying to catch one of their attentions, she began to wave her hand.

Tara was the first to notice them as she turned her attention to the frantic hand movements of her friend, with an unsure smile on her face, she placed a hand on her girlfriends arm and pointed to the couple seated outside. Willow turned her face towards them, a look of shock filled her face as she looked over the three people that sat in front of her; quickly whipping the look of her face, she waved and began to get out of her chair. Xander as usual was the last to catch on, doing a double take, his jaw hit the ground as he watched his friend with the stroller beside her with a baby on board, Spike still hadn't caught his attention yet.

Buffy could hear Willow's words to Xander, 'that he'd better pick his mouth of the floor', as the two women got out of their seats to join the couple seated outside, leaving the young man seated by himself. Walking their way to the front of the seats, Willow and Tara came to stand in font of the couple; Imogen spat the bottle out of her mouth now that she had new people looking at her so quizzically. Buffy quickly retrieved the bottle from the stroller and placed it onto the table, wiping the youngster face with a serviette as the drink poured down her face.

"Hey, Buffy," Willow was the first to sit down next to the pram as she ran a hand down Imogen's head smoothing the curls of her hair. "Who's this little angel?"

"Willow and Tara, this is Imogen," Buffy sat back in her chair and leaned back towards Spike. "And this is William."

"Willow. Tara," Spike leaned over to grasp gently each of the young women's hands in greeting. "Finally we meet and I must say very beautiful ladies. You never said, Buffy," with that comment, he got a quick jab in the ribs from Buffy.

It would seem that finally a very reluctant Xander joined the group, standing behind the last vacant seat next to Spike, he just stood there. Spike stood himself up, and placed a hand out, "William, but Spike to me mates."

"Xander," was all that the man could garble out of his mouth, his look of distrust all over his face. With some reluctance and evil looks from Willow and Tara, he took the other mans hand and shook it, almost too painfully he applied too much pressure, and was returned with an even firmer hand shake. "Ouch!"

"Sorry," Spike looked back at Buffy as a frown covered her face. "Don't know my own strength sometimes."

With some relief, the first awkward moments were over as the waitress interrupted on cue with the original coffees ordered by the two earlier. The remaining trio ordered themselves a variety of drinks and cakes, still Xander just stared at the couple with the baby in tow. Buffy could see the cogs go around in Xander's mind, and she just wanted to reach over the table and tell him to 'get over' whatever was going through his mind. She would have been a fool not to imagine that he would be some what resistant to Spike and Imogen, but out and out rudeness was not acceptable.

"So you're not a bit of Buffy's' imagination then?" Willow turned away from playing peekaboo with Imogen. "She's been very secretive about you two."

"No, definitely not part of her imagination, she probably didn't want to share my dashing good looks and charming personality." Spike chuckled.

"Confident of yourself aren't you?" Xander started in on his target.

"Xan…der!" Tara quietly added taken aback by his words.

"What…what?" Xander asked Tara back. "What I do wrong now?"

"Opened mouth and inserted foot in the first five minutes of meeting someone," Willow glared back at him. Looking at Spike with an apologetic smile, "Please forgive him, he still hasn't mastered the tricky complicated social aspect of manners yet."

"I'm sure that he'll be a fast learner," Spike laughed at the younger man at the table. "Sure we'll be great mates."

"I've seen you at the campus, you must work at the university?" Tara asked the obvious question to move them away from what Xander did and didn't need to learn.

"Yeah….Tara?" Spike turned towards the pretty quiet girl seated a few chairs away, as she nodded to his question. "Work in the money division, nothing interesting but it pays the bills."

"Work in the money division," Buffy nearly splattered the sip of coffee she had out of her mouth and over Imogen. "You're the head of the division," a few surprised looks went around the table between the trio of friends.

"So if we want a discount on our fees we just come and see you?" Willow laughed.

"Sorry no discounts….even family," Spike smirked as he ran a hand over Buffy's shoulder, in silent observation to others of marking his family for the world to see.

"You're English?" Xander enquired. "If your English what brings you to little old Sunnydale?"

"Grew up in merry ol' England and moved here a few years ago with me dad, once my folks split." Spike answered him.

"Your wife where's she? I mean a baby doesn't pop out off thin air?" Xander started in on Spike again, "Ouch!" he spluttered out as Willow kicked him under the table.

Quietness covered the table as Spike glared at the man's insensitive questions, Buffy's mouth dropped a little, Willow looked like she just wanted to disappear under the table, and Tara looked away and down from the group. Imogen began to bang on the table after hearing 'baby' and began with a litany of 'ba-ba ba-ba', Buffy pulled the baby closer to her body and tightened her hold on the little girl in a protective gesture towards the questioning.

"Imogen's mom…"Buffy stopped as Spike put a hand over one of her own, and gave her a half hearted smile with a 'let me explain' look.

"I'm a widower," Spike spoke quietly. "I lost my wife in a car accident if you must know, she died having Imogen." Gasps from the girls broke the silence on the table, Xander's mouth dropped as his head dropped in disbelief that he'd asked such questions, not realising what he was really asking.

"I'm sorry…I shouldn't have asked."

"No, you shouldn't have Xander," Buffy accused her friend her anger boiling to the surface. "Are you happy with your answer?"

"Sorry." Xander stood and pushed his chair away from the table. "Maybe I should just um…go." Willow began to nod her head, and started to get up as well.

"Hey…no need to go," Spike looked at the standing two and Tara pushing her chair back. "I'm sure that the boy meant nothing by it. Let's just forget about it. Start again?"

Buffy motioned with her hand for the others to sit back down, as she turned to the man seated next to her, she gave him a brilliant smile and a quick gentle kiss as she expressed her pleasure at his gesture towards Xander. They sat quietly for a few moments before the waitress came with the others coffee and food that they'd ordered, stirring sugar and other condiments into their coffee's they sat there in silence. Until Buffy hit on an idea that might just break the ice, she knew that the girls would probably cringe but it might at least give the boys something in common.

"So Xander, still think Chelsea's going to win the UFA?" Buffy spoke towards him.

"Chelsea! Those bunch of wankers…no way." Spike almost salivated at the mention of football. "Bugger…a Chelsea fan?" shaking his head he continued. "Manchester mate…Manchester are gonna beat the living sh…"

"Spike!" Buffy interjected.

The girl's raised their eyebrows towards Buffy as she smiled and shrugged her shoulder's, 'at least it's something for them to talk about' she mouthed at them as both men where no engaged in animated discussion over the football season. Both of the girls shrugged there shoulders in return and began fawning over the baby, as they talked about assignments and the latest shoes available at the mall.

Glancing over the group it would seem to any passer by that they were just a group of friends, plus one baby having coffee and chatting. Buffy smiled into Imogen's hair as she held the youngster in her arms, hopefully this first meeting would lead to many more, as long as Xander kept his mouth shut on occasion. She just hoped that Manchester won over the weekend so that it didn't give Xander something to dig Spike at in the future, but then again she didn't doubt the fact that it would give Spike something to gloat about over to Xander. That thought gave Buffy something alone to rub her hands in glee with, Xander being goaded by someone else for a change.

From Night to Day

Chapter Nineteen

By Mercy

NC-17

A/N : Thanks to Kar (Karbear57) for being the forever Mercy soundboard and edit job.        Slackerace for hanging in there and waiting, waiting for me to get off my butt and write something, with more of her fantastic editing. Meli for her usual fab edit job and her enthusiastic passion for the fanfic . All three pick up my obvious grammar mistakes, and even more embarrassing my spelling errors.

Past Times

Three weeks later…

Seated amongst others in the final class of the year, Buffy rhythmically tapped her pen against her notebook in front of her as she tried to focus on what her lecturer was saying. Her thoughts were elsewhere, lost in a myriad of ideas and plans for her vacation. All she really wanted to do was get out of the stuffy classroom and get on with her holiday. Time free of going to class, writing essays and having such little time with the people that meant so much to her.

Her train of thought was broken by the clanging and banging with the cheers of students as the class had apparently finished. She'd been so far away that she didn't even noticed that despite trying so hard to concentrate on what was going on around her. Picking up her bag, she placed her belongings inside it and pulled herself out of the chair. Making her way outside the building, she was determined to get out of there as quickly as possible. Waiting outside stood her friends huddled together, all elated that the academic year was finally over. Willow waved her hand in greeting and gestured for her to join the group. Picking up her pace, she made her way over towards them.

"Hey guys," Buffy smile spread over her face. "It's finally over for the year."

"Yep Buff, another glorious year of academic torture finished," Xander sighed with relief. "Can't believe that it's over."

"Or that he passed," Willow gave her friend a little dig at his academic achievement.

"Buutt he passed," Tara interjected against her girlfriend's ribbing of Xander. "Not like some other people that just fleww through." Willow went a bright red as Tara pointed out the obvious for all.

"Doesn't matter who did better than whom. Just that we all survived this hell mouth of higher education," Buffy laughed at the comments flying around her. "I need a coffee and I need one now."

"A great idea oh wise one," Xander pointed towards the quickly filling campus café. "Or do I dare suggest the Espresso Pump."

"Sounds like a great idea to me," Buffy nodded her head. All in agreement, they made their way across the courtyard and towards the path that would take them off the campus and into the town centre.

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~

Sitting across from him discussing the academic year, sat the smartly dressed and coiffed Dru. Buffy's teacher and his work colleague, not that he had sought her out to associate himself with. She'd found him sitting by himself looking over next year's budgets sipping coffee and lost in deep thought. She had to tap him on the shoulder to get his attention, startling him so much that he dropped the file in his hand onto the floor. Of course, she graciously picked up the file for him, and he couldn't help but notice the obvious posture she used to give him an eyeful of her bust. Nor had she missed the quick flash of distrust blaze across his irises as he watched her pick up the file.

The conversation between them at this point had been one sided, mostly she spoke and he feigned interest in what she was saying. Occasionally nodding as she spoke, but the conversation was quickly turning to a more personal nature as she began to delve into his personal life. He began to notice exactly where this conversation was heading; an interrogation about Imogen and more worrying about his relationship with Buffy.  She even tried to pry information out of him regarding personal aspects with his relationship with his daughter. Dru was dropping hints that she would "just love to meet the precious little angel" or they should "take her to the park one day".  Spike rubbed his jaw in anguish about how he politely was going to get out of this.

Trying to smile the best he could without grimacing he finally spoke. "Look Dru, thanks for the offer but I think that you've got the wrong idea about me," Spike's tone was softso as not to draw attention to them. "I'm not interested …"

"I don't think that I have anything wrong Spike." With that, she moved her chair closer to his, and slid her hand down his thigh. "I think that what I want would make everything right." She now lightly cupped his crotch.

"Dru…" he tried in vain to pull himself away from her hand, "as much as I do find you a very attractive and smart woman. I'm with someone else."

"Ha! That little girl?" She slowly began to massage the flesh beneath her hand discreetly under the table. "She couldn't satisfy a man like you. Does she let you do all those wicked things that I know you'd really like to do to her. The girl is just too prissy to let you do anything like we did. But me, I'll let you do anything that you'd like…and everything else that you'd ever fantasised about."

"It was a mistake," Spike tried to reason with her. "I shouldn't have slept with you. Dru, I'm sorry but I was out of my mind with grief and a fucking lot of J.D."

"It wasn't a mistake," Dru became more insistent. "I don't make mistakes Spike. You and I had so much fun. Why can't we play our game again? I can teach you so many new fun games."

"Look Dru, get your hand off me or I'll …" Spike whispered and slightly leaned back in his seat. Lifting his hand over hers' to ensure that it was moved away from his pants. However, the second that he placed his hand over her own a hushed "oh my god" came from behind the two seated at the table.

Turning around, Spike saw Buffy and her friends standing and watching him as he sat with his hand over Dru's fingers which rested over his crotch. Buffy was so close, that Spike was sure that she'd heard every damning word Dru said to him regarding to their one night stand. Betraying him to his dirty little secret that he'd rather forget had never happened. Buffy stood frozen in front of Spike, her face emotionless as she assimilated what had just happened. Her eyes followed his form and she flinched slightly as they came to rest on his crotch area. For a few moments she didn't blink; didn't move her eyes from the spot on which they were fixated on. With a quick shift of her gaze, Buffy summed Dru up as she moved forward and dropped her bag onto the table at which the two where sitting.

"I believe that you have your hand on something that belongs to me," Buffy threw down the gauntlet. "So kindly take your hand off him before I break your fingers."

"So sure of yourself," Dru lifted her hand away from Spike's pants. "For such a little miss."

"Dru please just leave…" Spike tried to pull back the conversation to some civil level, "Buffy love, calm down. It isn't worth it."

"Not worth it Spike," Dru looked disgusted at Spike for being so easily dismissed by him. "I remember the way you howled as we fucked all night." Turning to Buffy a malicious smile came over her face. "Every time and every way you came. Such an animal isn't he? Such a special gift to be able to fuck for hours and hours."

"Dru leave," Spike spoke through gritted teeth. "Now."

"Why? And spoil all the fun," Dru sat back into her chair. "Naughty Spike, to think that I would ruin everyone's fun."

"Like I said Dru it was a mistake that I deeply regret," Spike tried to get it through to her that he wasn't interested, but he didn't seem to be getting his message across. "Nothing is ever going to happen again. So just give it up pet. Told you that I was taken."

Grabbing his briefcase from under the table, Spike quickly began stacking the files from the table into the case. Looking desperately at Buffy, he clicked the lid shut and stood up to leave. Buffy stood there her features now filled with hurt and denial as she just stared vacantly into his face. Moving away from the table, Spike walked over to Buffy's side and took her hand, grabbing her bag that lay on the table he handing it to her. He led her away from the debacle that Dru had started. Spike looked at Buffy's friends, he couldn't miss the look of disappointment that sat on the girls' faces, and of abhorrence on Xander's face.  Casting his eyes to the ground, he quickly guided Buffy away from the scene and into the side alley that was just down the street. Her friends quickly followed behind, concerned for the wellbeing of Buffy at this dramatic event.

Walking into the alleyway to provide them with a private shelter from the busy street, Spike led Buffy deeper into the shadowed part of the alley. Xander, Willow and Tara stopped just short of the retreating couple, following closely behind. Xander placed one hand on Spike's shoulder pulling him away from his shell-shocked friend. Spike didn't stop the other male coming to stand in between himself or his girl. Xander with a single hand pushed him as far away from Buffy as he could. She herself took a step back until she came to rest on the cool masonite of the walls that shrouded the alley. Her hands rubbed her face as if to wipe away what had just happened from her sight and her memory.

"What the hell was that?" Xander accused his friends' supposed boyfriend. "You two timing Buffy?"

"No." A short and simple answer came from Spike.

"You slept with her behind Buffy's back," Xander raised his hand forming a fist. "Couldn't keep it in your pants."

"Look here mate," Spike began to move inch by inch closer to the younger man, "I ain't sleeping with anyone beside Buffy. Not that it's your bloody business. I don't fuck around."

"How do we know?  You've just demonstrated to the whole world that you fuck around," Xander's voice began to seethe as his temper rose. "We just saw you!"

"What you saw was me trying to politely tell her that I'm not interested and never will be. That was until you showed up," Spike tried to control the rage inside of him. All he wanted to do was be alone with Buffy so that he could explain it all to her and her alone.

"Yeah with her hand over your dick," Xander took another inch closer toward Spike. "Very convincing."

"Bullocks! You obviously didn't hear the conversation or what the hell was going on between me and her," Spike pushed him away and turned around for a moment. "This is between me and Buffy, not you or your friends. So back off Xander, you know nothing about what happened."

"I think I know…." Xander's attention was broken as he was interrupted by one of the girls.

"Xanddder," Tara tried to warn him off, "please leavvve them alone."

"Xan! Let him explain," Willow pulled on his arm moving him away from the couple. "Let him explain to Buffy without an audience."

"What audience?" Xander spat out.

"Hello…us," Willow took Tara's hand and walked away from them. "Now Xander."

Looking at Buffy as she stood hunched in her spot against the wall, Xander took a timid step away from them. "Buffy you want me or Will you'll call us. Cell phone's on." He took another step away from the two and looked back at Spike. "Don't play her for a fool Spike or I'll poke your eye out and your neither regions. Capice?"

"Yeah," he spoke quietly and reluctantly towards the other male, setting his briefcase down onto the pavement next to his feet. "I'll let you know when I get her home."

He turned his head for the few minutes it took Xander to walk away and join the girls. Spike continued to watch until they disappeared down the street and couldn't be seen due to the shopfronts that protruded from the main street. Slowly he took a few short steps to where Buffy stood, sliding his hands into his pockets battling against the need to reach out and grab her for a hug.

"Buffy?" Spike softly spoke to her not wanting to scare her off. "Sweetheart?"

"Why?"

"The truth?" Spike ran his hand through his hair. "In simple terms, I hadn't moved on from my grief, love. I hadn't even moved into my place yet. Didn't even know a soul in town." His voice trembled as he continued to speak to her, having to explain what had happened before he'd even meet her made his stomach turn at the very memory. "I went to a bar, got drunk on grief and pissed on J.D. Slept with the first thing I met that resembled a female. That to my greatest stupidity, was Dru."

"You fucked my teacher," Buffy's words came out slowly and chillingly precise. "Before you slept with me? Have you fucked her since?" Tears threatened to pour from her eyes as she spat out angry accusations.

"Buffy, no!" Spike tried to touch her arm but she pulled away. "It was a one off and never again."

"How do I know that you're telling the truth? She certainly hasn't been playing hard to get."

"Because I love you. I'd never be stupid enough to do anything to make you turn away from me," Spike tried to make her see the truth in his words. "Bloody hell," Spike pulled himself away from her and retrieved his briefcase. "I've had enough of all this crap Buffy. I'm sorry that you had to see what happened today. I'm sorry that the grief I had for my dead wife lead me to booze and Dru. It was a mistake and if you can't handle that I've made mistakes in the past and stop acting like a stupid teenager then what are we doing here?"

"I am a 'stupid teenager'," Buffy nearly choked on her quiet reply.

"I didn't mean it like that," Spike tried to take his words back, "and you know it."

"Then how?"

"All I want is for you to realise that I fuck up tremendously and it was even before we got together."

"And that makes it all right does it?" Buffy began to bite on her lower lip.

"No it doesn't. I made a mistake Buffy. What else do you expect me to say? Do you want me to get on my knees and beg for your forgiveness?" Spike felt like banging his head against one of the walls of the alleyway.

"No…but I would have hoped that you would have told me before I found her with her hand on your dick," Buffy spat out in anger.

"I thought that I was getting through to her. That she understood I wasn't interested."

"Obvious to all the world but you," Buffy ran a hand down her face; the tension across it drew her brow into creases. "Are you so blind Spike?"

"I work with the damn woman, Buffy. What was I supposed to do? Get a court order against her from being 200 feet near to me?"

"What you should have done was told her straight and to the point," Buffy moved closer to him and began repeatedly pushing him with her index finger, "that you didn't want anything to do with her."

"Like you did with Riley?"

"You pig!" Buffy slapped him across the face. Hard. His face slid sideways as her hand slapped the skin, a loud smacking sound  ricocheting across the alley. "This has no comparison you bastard."

"No?" Spike's mind whirled with the foolish words that had escaped his mouth. The sting from her hand burned down to his very being as he rubbed the reddening cheek. "Then why did it drag on for so long Buffy?"

"I don't have to explain anything to you."

"Then why are you treating me like dirt? Dirt you like to roll in may I remind you. I've explained to you what happened back at the café. I don't know what else you want to hear."

"Not the name of that scum sucking…" Buffy regained some composure, "never ever mention his name again Spike. Never."

"Fine. Sorry."

"What happened between Riley and me is my business," Buffy stared at him with an intensely strong gaze.

"Just like what I did before we became a couple has nothing to do with us. Or us, together here and now. Maybe you've forgotten just how much what happened between you two became my business. I protected you when you needed me the day I beat the living shit out of that bastard."  Spike moved closer to her, his breath came to flowing over her face as he returned her intense gaze. "I tried to protect you from what I'd done with Dru. I didn't want you to find out what a wanker I'd been. Might begin to see me in a different light and not like what you saw."

"I..."

"Let me finish Buffy," Spike continued, "I've regretted every day what happened. At first I felt like I'd betrayed and cheated on my wife who was stuck in her cold grave. Then you came along and I fell in love, something that I never thought would ever happen again. I didn't want to risk losing you love, that's why I didn't say anything. Didn't want to lose my second chance."

"Second chance?" Buffy shivered as the raw emotions inside her came to the surface. All the hurt and anger seemed to be disappearing into nothing.

"Yeah love, you. You're my second chance. Thought that it would have been so bloody clear to you by now."

Buffy's head resonated with his words. Maybe what happened with Dru wasn't any of her business in a way, but it still hurt that Spike had even gone near her. It hurt that her teacher been with Spike before her, or worse even at all. It was sickening. Yet she had to face the fact that what he did before 'them' was really none of her business. Wiping her eyes, she looked at his face filled with conflicting emotions. His cheek muscles twitched under the strain of his hurt and his eyebrows were furrowed in concern for her and for them.
 
"Maybe I shouldn't have reacted the way I did," Buffy attempted to give him a smile; all she could muster was an awkward line. "But what else could I have done seeing you with her?"

"I don't blame you love. If I saw you with some other fellow…God help him." Spike slid his hand onto her cheek. "I'd be so jealous that I'd rip him limb from limb for daring to touch you."

"Spike," Buffy looked warily at him.

"Well I'd at least have to threaten him a little bit to scare the bugger off," Spike ran his thumb up and down over Buffy's cheek. "Have to claim what's mine."

"So I can be all Cave Woman Buffy if she tries anything again?"

"Buffy, you can be all cave woman you like," Spike laughed. "But just when we're alone…"

"You saying that I can't stand up for what's mine, but you can?"

"No. You proved you can be very assertive when you need to be love," Spike gently kissed her on the forehead. "Just want to be the only one that sees the Cave Woman Buffy. At home, in private."

"Home?" Buffy smirked.

"Yes, home. And since you brought it up can we get out of this alley and go home?" Spike looked seriously at her. "Think that we need to talk and get us some time alone." He slid his hand down her shoulder until it reached her palm and took her hand. Pulling it slightly he began to walk them away from their private spot and back into the crowd of people milling around on the street.

"Spike, I do trust you." Buffy pulled against his hand, making him stop and turn around. "Even when things go all mixy on me."

"Glad to hear it." He began walking again and this time she didn't even hesitate to walk alongside him as they made their way down the pavement. Halfway down the main street Spike pulled out his cell phone from his pocket and flipped the top. Buffy watched as he dialled a number and placed the phone to his ear. "Dad? Hey, can you do me a favour?" after a short period of silence, he continued. "How about looking after your adorable, loveable and precious granddaughter for me?" Spike turned to Buffy and winked. "Why? Need the night off, dad. Just want a quiet night out with Buffy, without having to worry about taking a little miss that now throws her food everywhere."

"Don't hassle your dad if he doesn't want to do it Spike," Buffy whispered at him, pulling on his elbow to get his attention.

"Come on Dad, please," Spike pleaded with his father. "I really need you to do this for me Dad." Spike looked at Buffy with a huge grin. "Great!  When can you pick her up?"

"Spike, what are you doing?" again she pulled on his arm.

Moving the phone away from his ear he looked at her with a smirk on his face, "I'm taking my girl out for a night on the town, so that we can talk without a baby trying to steal all my thunder. I want all of your attention tonight Buffy. Just a night for the two of us." Placing the phone back towards his ear he continued talking to his father. "Great dad, say about 6 p.m. She'll be ready then. She's gonna love having you all to herself. Bye, dad."

"So what are you planning?" Buffy shook her head, he'd never taken her out without Imogen with them. "Are you sure you don't want to take Imogen?"

"No Buffy, definitely not tonight."

"Why not?"

"Cause tonight we talk about us."

"Oh..." Buffy could just breathe.

"As in where are we going to be in a few years. Buffy, I want you to be assured that I'm not going anywhere. Never gonna leave your side for anything or anyone."

"Tonight?"

"Tonight."

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