PULSE

my latest fic..

Fresh out of med school numbed by the anarchy and chaos surrounding her, she just wants to feel...something...anything...and she finds it in an alley with a virtual stranger...very NC-17(you are warned)

By Mercy

*WIP*???

The screaming of the sirens from the ambulances could be heard for miles around the major trauma hospital. A gas leak had exploded half of Main Street into the pits of hell, and what was left was so charred, that anything that once drew breath would need dental records to confirm its identity. The survivors from the accident were being ferried into Sunnydale General, triaged, and sent onto larger hospitals to be treated as the hospital reached capacity.

Caught up in this chaotic mess was a young intern, fresh out of med school, her eyes wide with shock and disbelief at the anarchy that surrounded her. ER doctors and nurses ran around her in disarray, trying to cope with the patients as they lay in beds and mattresses on the floor. The cries and howls of pain ricocheted from the walls of the hospital's Emergency Room and straight into her ear canal, piercing any train of thought she had. All the young intern could think of was running away. She surveyed the floor of the E.R. and as the doors to the ambulance bay opened, with yet another load of incoming wounded, the young intern bolted.

The intern's feet carried her into the dark shaded alleyway, which divided the main hospital and the next building. She found herself a corner to hide in just for a minute, just to take a break from the horror around her, she could only escape for a little while, the people inside and her colleagues needed her. She took a deep breath, accompanied by a sigh of relief. She scrunched her nose as her lungs filled with cigarette smoke. A tall shadow moved closer towards her. She couldn't help but notice the navy scrubs that the intruder was wearing, indicating that he was a registered nurse. As her eyes followed the navy scrubs, the next thing that struck her was his hair. The bright platinum blondness of it, and the contrasting dark eyebrows that lay just above his blue eyes, deepened by the dark colour of his uniform.

She'd seen him around the hospital at times, but never really paid much attention to him before, she'd been too busy trying to keep up with the Consultant she was assigned to, and all the work that was dumped on her by her Registrar and the rest of the nursing staff. She vaguely recalled that he worked on the 8th floor Medical Ward, and a few other places if need be, she also remembered the other nurses trying to get his attention, all in vain, he never really took much interest in them. He seemed to keep them at arms length, and would kindly disentangle himself if necessary.

Not that it mattered much to Buffy at this moment in time, the anguish of the horror she had just been a witness to was screwing around with her brain, and numbing her senses. She couldn't bring herself to think anymore, it was too difficult and draining.

She just wanted to feel...

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He'd seen her in the darkened corner of the alley, he himself sometimes used to sneak out for a fag, when he was meant to be on the floor. Quickly he identified her as one of the new interns that had started a few weeks ago, and was still 'wet behind the ears'. He didn't know her name, but he knew she was a quiet woman, who knew her job, and could handle herself. Well usually, by the look of her he doubted that she was today. .

He could see her physically shaking in shock at what was going around her. He slowly moved up to her, quietly so as not to scare her off. With a flick of his wrist he threw the butt of his cigarette away. Stood a few feet away from her, he could see the pain and dullness that lay in her eyes. With a concerned look in his eyes, he quietly asked her, "Are you alright luv?"

Without even hesitating between blinking her eyelids, Buffy vaulted herself into his torso, she grabbed him in a tight embrace, dragging him deeper into the alleyway. Slowing down, she rested her back against the cold stone masonry of the wall, and pulled him into a tighter and deeper embrace. She roughly grabbed his face and drew his lips down to hers for a deep penetrating kiss. He didn't resist the plunging of her tongue deep into the recesses of his mouth, as she ran her tongue along his, tasting his inner flesh. Caught up in the heat of the moment, he returned the exploration of her mouth with his own. They swirled around each other making the dance deeper, and more pleasurable.

Buffy withdrew one of her hands and ran it down his back, until it reached the band of the trousers of his scrubs. Leaning back deeper against the wall she slipped her hand around to the front of the waistband. Without hesitation she cupped the obvious hardening flesh in her hand, she gently squeezed it in her palm, flattening her hand against it, as it rose in response. Running her hand up and down against it, encouraging it to harden even further.

Spike pulled his head away from the kiss they shared, he gasped at the pleasure he felt rising within himself, and at the shock of her forwardness. Looking at the naked desire that had flooded into her eyes he couldn't help the loss of the containment of his yearning. He slammed her further into the wall, which increased the pressure of her hand against his cock. He engaged her once again in the kiss they had been sharing, as he slipped his hand between them, running it against the white coat she wore, pulling it from the rest of her clothing, down her skirt, until he reached the hem, and began pulling it up.

The fabric began to rise up high against her thigh, until it reached her waistband. He pushed his hand along it until he reached her midline; he stopped as soon as he could feel the soft texture of her panties. He pulled his head away again, to watch her reaction as he placed his hand over mound. He could feel the moisture that had already penetrated the fabric, she was soaked through. Continuing his journey, he ran a single digit along her slit covered by her panties, stopping any direct contact with her flesh. Buffy arched her head against the stonewall behind her. He watched as she took small shallow gasps of pleasure, and he heard the quiet 'please' that came from her lips.

Running his hand to the front of her again, his hand slipped in between the fabric and her flesh, he tugged her panties down past her hips, letting them float down to her calves. With the barrier gone, he slipped his hand in-between her folds, targeting her clit, he swirled his finger around it, feeling the skin tighten and rise in response, as all her blood raced to the centre of her pleasure. All her nerve endings began to fire in response to his touch, sending wave upon wave of pleasure into her being, she could feel her inner muscles begin to clamp against themselves in even deeper response. Her mind disconnected from the reality of the world around her, as she escaped in her world of pleasure, that she was discovering herself in.

Encouraged by her response to his caress, he moved further down into her inner recess, he slipped a finger in and around her inner muscles, that were now clamping against themselves. He was spurred on by her obvious pleasure; he inserted another finger to tease her. Pushing in as deeply as he could, only to discover more flesh to strum, he replaced his finger on her clit with his thumb, as he swirled it around her flesh, in time with the pulling motion of his fingers, he moved them all over her inner flesh, not leaving a centimetre untouched.

The look on her face, and soft cries of 'please' drew him deeper into what they were experiencing. She returned the soft strokes he was giving her, with her own. She found the ties that held his scrubs to his lean hips; she pulled onto one of them until it gave way, and released the tension holding them up. She pulled the fabric down that covered his straining flesh, allowing it to burst forth, and stand against his scrub shirt. With a gentle hand, she felt the length of the ridged flesh against her hand, as she moved up the shaft to the head. Swirling her fingertips against the tip, she applied enough pressure to make him gasp as she grazed a single fingernail across the tip, backwards and forwards, trying to concentrate enough as to cause pleasure, not pain. She encased the width of him in her palm, and enclosed her fingers around him as she began to run her hand up and down his shaft, in time with his own movements of his fingers within her flesh.

As Spike increased the pressure that he applied to her inner walls, Buffy slid her foot against his calf, and inner thigh. She opened herself up to his fingers, allowing the angle of penetration to be deeper, which he took full advantage of, and immersed her deeper into the abyss they had created around themselves. Nothing existed except for the two of them, caught in the mental storm of their pleasure, as they abandoned themselves to it.

Spike could feel the increased pressure of her inner muscles, as she stood over the edge, ready to let herself go. Encouraged by her, he increased his pace and the force of his touch, he could feel the moisture flood her as her body prepared itself for release.

"Come for me Luv." Spike spoke quietly, "Come for me."

Triggered by his words, she let herself go, her muscles contracted within the frenzy he'd created, the spiralling waves of pleasure fired along her neurons, and exploded within her mind. Her abdominal muscles rippled and clenched in response to her orgasm, as her muscles clamped over his fingers. She lost herself within those seconds of pure bliss, she felt it embrace her over the horror she had been holding onto within the E.R.

With a swift withdrawal of his hand, he braced her buttocks with his hands, raised her and slammed her down over his cock. Her muscles constricted even tighter around his length, as they continued to pulse within her orgasm. A look of shock filled her face, she was so caught in the moment, that she hadn't expected to find herself impaled along his length. Reality made itself known to her, as the realization dawned that she'd just abandoned everything that she was in this alley. This was something that she never would have done.

Fucking a virtual stranger in an alley.

A panicked look filled Spike's eyes as he watched all of this play out on her face, as their flesh joined them so intimately. He blinked quickly, and took some pressure away from her buttocks, as if ready to let her down. Despite her look of shock, Buffy didn't want to let go of this oasis yet. She tightened her hold around his neck, as she began to lever herself along his flesh, making slow and shallow gyrations of her hips, as she moved over him.

Spike could only watch her face, as she moved above him. A look of wonderment filled his face, as he saw her look of pleasure and contentment return. She moved her hips in such a fashion that he could feel every inch of her, every contraction of her internal muscles, as she clutched and squeezed them together, giving him a sense of heightened pleasure. He began to thrust the best he could, considering the position they were in, he couldn't get enough of her. With controlled movements of his hips, he slammed into her with hard deep thrusts, hitting all the right spots within her walls, stimulating each nerve ending that he could find, spiralling her deeper into her bliss.

"So..nguh..fucking..good…nugh…so fucking…tight," Spike slowed his thrusts down with each word he said, dragging out the time between each delicious drive into her, as he slid between her moist flesh.

"Please." Buffy stumbled to find the words.

"Please what baby?" Spike looked into her eyes filled with yearning. "Please fuck me harder?" Spike returned to his hard quick lunges of flesh into hers. "Please fuck me slower?" He slowed down the propelling of his hips, as he slightly rotated them to spiral his cock along her inner walls. "Please make me come?" Spike changed tactics, and pushed her back as deeply as he could against the wall, leaving the front of her lower body exposed to him. He quickly moved his right hand into the exposed fleshed, separating the folds, and targeted her clit with his thumb, rubbing the sensitive flesh with the pad of his finger. He watched as she jerked with each pass of his thumb over the sensitive flesh, and the spasmodic clamping of her muscles around his cock.

Still wanting answer from her, he withdrew his hand from giving her any more pleasure, thrusting himself deep inside of her and just stood still. The look of desperation on her face reflected how close she was to letting herself come, and the loss of her intimate pleasure. She tried to grind herself over his shaft to give herself some relief from the frustration that enveloped her, but he would have none of that. He gripped her hips with his hand, and held her still as he pushed himself even deeper within her, trapping her within the confines of his body. "Tell me," Spike asked again, "Please what?"

"Bastard!"

"Bastard I may be, but I'm the one you're fucking sweetheart! That's so tightly buried within you, that I can feel every bit of your sweet flesh around me, begging for release!" Showing what he meant by shallowly thrusting inside her, teasing her with a bit of paradise, and she knew it.

Buffy replied to his motions with sharp short intakes of breath, but it wasn't enough, she wanted release and she wanted it now. She craved it, to feel the total liberation of herself, even if just for a few minutes, she could taste it, she craved it. So she gave him what he wanted.

"Make me come."

"Little girl needs to say the magic word!"

Arching her away from him again, he returned his thumb back where it once lay and slowly stroked her clit again and in time with his words, "Ask me nicely and say the magic word." With each stroke, he brought her closer to the edge, as he continued with the slow motion of his hips that slid him in and out of her body. Her muscles began their frantic clamouring around him, shooting waves of pleasure up his spine, drawing him even closer to the edge.

Buffy watched as he clenched his teeth, as he struggled for control himself, his deep cheekbones twitched and she could feel him tighten his hold on her with his hands. He himself was close but not close enough, she could only guess how long he could drag this out, and prolong her pleasure. The idea that he could was so erotic that it pulled her even closer to the edge of the abyss that awaited her, but was denied to her by this man.

It was too much. She gave in to it.

"Please make me come."

Her words triggered off something inside of him that released itself within him, he shoved her against the wall, and began slamming into her in quick deep thrusts, as he returned his nimble hands back to her clit to make her journey to release quicker and more pleasurable for her. Releasing his hold on her, Buffy allowed herself to match him thrust for thrust, angling herself to take advantage of a more pleasurable angle, and apply pressure against the friction he was creating with his finger upon her clit. Sending shock wave after shockwave through her body, as it demanded to have release and reach its own nirvana.

Spike watched as her need for release peaked as he watched her approach the oncoming onslaught of her orgasm. He could feel her inner muscles contract and clamp over his flesh, and her moisture seep between them they began to collide against each other. He could feel himself lose the battle to hold himself back, to make sure that she attended her pleasure first, he increased the pressure he was applying to her body, both in his thrusts, and friction of his hand.

"Please baby…come for me..let go…"Spike whispered at her, as he watched her face distort in ecstasy, "Let yourself feel it."

His words were enough to trigger her orgasm, spiralling her into the abyss she'd been seeking, the need to feel something, her desire swelled even deeper as she surrendered herself to the beckoning of her need. As the pleasure flooded every cell, triggered every neuron, she was granted peace for just a few moments, as the only thing that filled her mind was the blinding release she was experiencing blocking out everything else, even the man that gave her that pleasure.

He didn't miss a beat of it, as he allowed himself the release he'd granted her, he watched as she allowed the moment of passion to take over her, and deny him the pleasure of knowing that she was focused on him as he came. That he was just the instrument that had brought her the solace she wanted, just a thing, his body gained its pleasure as he released himself within her flesh. Yet that was all he was granted, he gained nothing but corporeal release. It was what is was, a fuck, pure and simple, but he found it lacking, and in someway insulting that she couldn't even share her final pleasure with him.

She'd locked him out.

Letting her legs down he moved away from her, not looking at her, not even once as he pulled his clothes back together, tying his scrub pants, he could hear her deep slow breaths, but still he wouldn't look at her. Taking out his cigarettes, he lit one and took a deep breath, letting the smoke fill his lungs, and flood the air around him as he exhaled. With some deep regret, he looked at her, as he turned around, then began walking out of the alley.
Buffy watched as he returned to the shadows from which he'd come from, she closed her eyes as the first wave of regret hit her, and continued down to her very soul.

"I'm sorry." He never heard her silent whisper, it was drowned out by the sirens that still screamed around her.

Three weeks later...

Buffy sat with the other interns, as they sat in a group waiting to find out where their next term would take them. She really wasn't listening to the Senior Registrar, as she told them what a 'great group they were and how exciting their next term would be'. All she could think about was the day in the alley with the platinum blonde; it was unavoidable. As the Senior Registrar had ranted on for half an hour, about the great job they'd done with the victims. The only thing she really remembered about it was the guilt, shame, and the undeniable pleasure she'd gotten from him. Yet, the guilt and shame overruled everything else from that day, she felt horrified that she'd done something so out of character. She couldn't deny the moments of ecstasy that the virtual stranger had given her. It filled her dreams at night and started an undeniable hunger and taste for more.

It was a yearning for more of the forbidden and the danger of being with someone she didn't really know, and the ability to release something inside of her she never really knew existed in her. The combination to find escape, mixed with that danger had been so hedonistic, and so foreign to her. It had fuelled the fire that had burned between them, and she would be lying to herself if she denied the fact she wanted to taste it again.

With him.

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He'd seen her a few times within the grounds of the hospital, or he'd catch a glimpse of her around a corridor, she would always just be out of reach, too far away for her to see him. So many times he wanted to talk to her, make sure she was ok since that day, make her look at him, see him, and most of all acknowledge him. He'd felt used that day like a thing, she may have well asked 'where do the batteries go', as far as he was concerned, but he still couldn't deny the fact that he wanted to see her again. Make her look into his eyes as he gave her pleasure, make her scream his name, watch him as he came, and know who was fucking her. The feelings and thoughts he was feeling were so primitive and he'd never felt such a need for anyone. It made him want to seek her out, and make her acknowledge the passion that had burned between them, until she'd blocked him out.

There was more to it than a quick fuck, he wanted acknowledgment from her, and the more he thought about it the more he craved it. The internal conflict raged within him, the primitive inside of him just wanted to take her and receive all the pleasure he could from her body. The other side of him wanted to experience the pleasure of her knowing it was he who gave her that bliss, and wanted more from him than just a quick fuck in an alley.

The primitive was a man that lived along time ago, and the more rational man came from what he'd become here and now. He had a past that would make most people cringe away from him; he'd lived the hard life on the wrong side of the tracks when he was growing up, in the poorest side of town with an abusive father, and a frail, brutalised mother. From a young boy, he learnt to use his fists to protect himself as best he could from his over bearing father, and cocoon himself away from others so they would never have guessed that he was anything except the person he portrayed himself to be. He emanated from the man he'd learnt to be now, upstanding in his line of work, and a respectable member of the community that he served.

Something attracted him back to her, despite the way she'd treated him, her cry for release from the chaos around her had sparked something deep within him, and so he'd given into her need that day. The spark of need had turned into something deeper within him and it demanded to be quenched of its thirst for more.

More of her.

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Buffy was embarrassed to admit it, but she never heard where her next assignment was going to be. She had to sit and wait until the meeting was over, and the assignments would be posted on the Intern's Noticeboard which she watched the senior registrar do. Trying not to look too silly, she walked over and glanced along the list until she found her name. No one heard the soft swear word that came from her mouth as she realised her new assignment, Dr Karen Childs. Dr Childs was a highly regarded physician, and it would be an excellent term from a learning point of view. Except the fact that half of her patients are on the eight floor; the medical wing to be exact. Karma was giving her a swift kick in the butt.

Buffy felt sick to the stomach, she could feel the anticipation rise through her flesh of seeing him again, and the dread that flooded through her at having to face him. She couldn't really see a way out of it, the chance of finding someone to swap with would be impossible. The chances were so slim, that she knew not to even bother; she'd just have to face him, and hope for the best. Moving away from where she stood, she made her way to the phone on the opposite wall and paged Dr Childs' registrar, waiting for her to call back and arrange the usual 'meet and greet' thing.

As soon as she put the phone down, it rang back within seconds, the registrar was on the line, and within a few minutes, she'd set up the meeting in a half an hour. Taking a deep breath, she took off in hunt for a woman's bathroom to freshen up and give her time to clear her head. Making herself presentable, she went to the assigned meeting place, the nurses' lounge on the eight floor. Sticking her head inside, it was thankfully deserted, she entered and sat herself down on one of the sofas in the room, looking at her watch she had about 10 minutes until the appointed time.

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Luckily, her meeting with Dr Childs, and her team had gone well, they all seemed happy to have her on board and had encouraged her to be an active member of the team. So active that Dr Childs encouraged her to go and meet all the patients, examine and report to her in the morning. Buffy had taken a large sigh of relief at the request; usually they would have you doing all the horrible work that needed catching up on the first day. She did exactly what they requested of her, Buffy began her way around the hospital visiting all of Dr Childs' patients, all those not on the eight floor, everyone else but them.

Not being able to put it off for much longer at 1900hrs (7 pm), she took the elevator up to the eighth floor, and walked along the corridors until she stood out front of the ward. Looking through the glass doors that separated the ward from the main corridor, she couldn't see anyone on the floor, it looked deserted, even though she could hear the conversations of people through the glass, and the 'pings' of machinery. She was very exhausted and she felt like she'd bitten off more than she could chew. She pulled the glass door open, letting herself into the ward, and made her way to the nurses' station and the patient notes.

She kept her eye open for him, but never saw him, relieved that he must be off duty, she never saw him sitting with a patient in one of the private rooms, giving one on one care to a critical patient waiting for a bed in ICU. Even though she didn't see him, he definitely heard her voice as she spoke to the nursing staff about Dr Childs' patients on the ward. A smirk filled his face, as he learnt that her new assignment would be with one of the wards consultants, and that she would be spending plenty of time on the ward in the future.

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Buffy had finally spoken with the last patient at 2130 hrs (9.30pm), glancing at her watch she noticed the time, as she slipped the notes back into the metal rack that held them. She lifted her head in time, to catch the platinum blonde standing on the corridor side of the nurses' station just watching her, looking her over as she unconsciously brushed her hair away from her face. Finally, his gaze came to meet hers, she watched from behind the nurses' desk as he said his goodbyes and walked out the ward.

Trying not to look to suspect, she quickly made her pleasantries to the nursing staff and started after him, it was time that she finished this silly obsession she had with him. She watched as he walked to the staircase and took the flight of stairs up, not down, that was the last thing she expected because it wasn't the way out. If she remembered correctly the ninth and tenth floor of the building were closed, not used for anything besides storage. The small hospital didn't generate enough funds for it to be viable to be open, so it was closed, and no one ever went up there. Well anyone but him it would appear, she hung back for as long as she could so that she wouldn't catch his attention.

Tracking behind him, she watched him leave the staircase on the tenth floor, and shut the exit door behind him. Trying to be as quiet as she could, she opened the door and spied him walking down the corridor and turning left. Checking that no one else was around she quickly scampered down the corridor to the corner which he turned down, she watched him walk down another corridor and turn into a smaller hallway. She followed his every step, down to the small hallway where she lost him, or thought she had. With a swift glance around the hall, Buffy spotted one of the doors swinging slightly on its hinges.

It had a long narrow piece of glass in it to peer through to the room beyond. She looked the best she could through it, and saw only an empty physical therapy room, full of equipment and mirrors encasing every wall and a wooden rail running along it . Yet there was no sign of him, just the empty room. Not convinced that it was empty Buffy opened the door, and peered in. Still not happy, she slipped in through the door, and looked around, she used the mirrors to scan the room, but still she couldn't see him.

She turned to walk out, only to literally throw herself into him. As she slammed into his torso, he grabbed her to help steady herself. She gasped at the shock of him grabbing her, she didn't resist the tight grip that he had on her, his hands were bruising as they held onto her. His gaze was vacant and piercing, he gave nothing of what he was thinking or feeling away. Buffy felt a slight shudder down her spine as he finally softened his hold on her, the grip he held her with definitely made one thing clear for her. He wasn't ready to let her go. Not yet anyway.

"So we meet again luv." Spike muscles in his face clenched, "or are you just stalkin' me?"

"No," she said it so quietly, as she tried to untangle herself gently from his hands, but he would have none of it. "Please!"

"Now I've heard that one before." Spike pulled her further into the room despite her placid resistance. "Little girl got her manners finally?"

Buffy could feel the hairs on her back of her neck rise, not in fear but anticipation, as he voice became gravely and low pitched. His gaze held something that she'd seen once before but only for a fleeting second. That second was just before she locked him out as they fucked each other in the alleyway. She swallowed hard, she couldn't decide whether to stay or run as fast as she could. A hot burning sensation flood her body as she remembered every touch, kiss and thrust, searing her to the spot as she could feel her arousal grip her like a vice. Yet the fear of what exactly he had planned for her, caused her to slightly shudder, as she remembered the look on his face so full of regret, after they'd finished, well she may have been finished then, but he hadn't. She'd left him not satisfied, she'd known that.

He pulled her further into the room, until he stopped her in the far corner of the room, where two mirrored walls met and they reflected onto each other. He walked her back until her spine rested on the rail, taking her two hands he out stretched them and placed them onto the wood of the bar. He pulled a few strands of hair away from her face, as he caressed her jaw and pulled them behind her ear. "I'm not going make you do anything you don't want to." Spike pulled her coat down her arms. "Just tell me you don't want it. Tell me to stop." He lifted one hand then the other as he took her coat off, he ran his hands slowly up her arm, dragging the tips of his fingers over her skin, and she could feel the slight grazing of his short nails, as they passed over her nerve endings, her flesh tingling as he made his way up her arm. "Tell me you don't love this!"

He slid the palms of his hand down her waist until they reached her waistband of the trousers that she wore; he slipped his thumb into the back of the waistband and ran it along the length of it. Stopping at the snap he pulled at it until the fabric gave way, and separated, he watched her every reaction as she gasped for breathe, standing before him bewildered at what he was doing to her. She didn't fight him or tell him to 'stop', she brought one of her hands off the bar, and raised it to his shoulder. In response, his hand quickly shot out, capturing her forearm, and returned her hand to the bar. "Don't touch!"

She squinted in confusion at his order and removed her hand from his person. So it was hands off for her and to make sure he didn't stop she did as he asked, she tightened her hands on the rail. She turned her head slightly to the mirrored wall opposite her; she watched his reflection, as his hand undid her zip down and pulled the fabric of her trousers over her hips, letting them fall to the ground. He ran a hand down from her waist to her hips, through to her inner thigh to her knee and back up to her thigh, slipping a thumb into the side of her knickers. He locked his eyes with hers to watch her reaction as his hand pulled onto the other side of her knickers, except this time he slid down onto his knees taking her underwear with him. With out any hesitation, he lifted one foot at a time, and removed the two garments and her shoes from her body. "Open yourself to me."

With a slight nudge of his hand on her knees, she moved her legs apart, opening herself to him. He watched as he slid his hands up from her ankles to her knees, as she gasped for breath, and from knees to upper thighs as she bite down on her lower lip, distending the soft skin as she beared her teeth. Spike felt the slight sway of her hips as he slipped his fingers between her moist folds, tracing her flesh's natural curve as she moved in response to his caress. He watched her bend her neck backwards, breaking the visual connection they'd had as he stimulated the tender flesh under his fingers, watching her as she closed her eyes and crunched her face in need. "Open your eyes."

She snapped her neck back, and looked down at him, he stopped the flowing motion of his hand and lightly grinded his thumb into her now throbbing clit. With the pads of his fingers he drew small tight circles around nub, tantalising the bundled nerve ending, sending tingling sensations along each one, making goose bumps appear over her body, as she reacted to the sensations he was creating. He would break her heights of dizziness by scrapping the flesh with his nail, causing a distraction as a flash of heat shuddered through her. Spike watched as he touched her inner flesh with his free hand, watched as her breathing increased, her face become flushed and her muscles clenching around the two fingers he used to caress her with. He massaged the walls within as she in response increased her sway and depth of the gyration of her hips. Unable to help herself she tore away her hands away from the bar and grabbed his shoulders as she grinded herself over his hand, her need for this fuelled her desire for more.

Breaking his gaze with her, he grabbed her hips to stop her movements as he pushed her folds part and applied his mouth to her intimate flesh. He gently teased her clit with his tongue with small licks and light suction, making the nerve ending fire faster and more intensely. In time with the motion of his mouth, he moved his fingers in and out of her canal; he could feel her slickness increase with every second that passed. Buffy opened herself to the pleasure that he was giving her, she groaned with each change of speed that he applied to her body.

Her body tightened as her pleasure increased, and her need to find release came within the reach of the nirvana he offered her. Yet something held her back, the guilt that she felt about the alleyway, refused to allow her to reach orgasm, she was caught up in the prison it was encasing her in. Making a silent promise to herself, she refused to be shackled to any guilt and let herself go, screaming as she came. She ran a hand through his hair as she came, gently pulling on his hair as she felt the muscles in herself contract and spasm, on and around this man on his knees before her.

As she came down from her high, she let her tight grip on him go and took hold of the bar once again behind her to steady herself. Buffy watched as he got off his haunches from the floor and looked at her still partly dressed body, as he took in all of the things he never saw when they'd been in the alley. Remembering her promise, she took the initiative removing her shirt and bra, as he watched taking in every inch he could as he licked his lips and tasted her. She returned the favour looking at him, and his obvious arousal that bulged through his scrub pants, she moved herself a little closer to him. Buffy pulled at the ties of the scrubs, pulling out the waistband so that they would drop when she let the fabric go. She pulled the scrub shirt off as his pants fell to the floor of the room; Buffy threw the shirt across the room, not really caring where it landed.

She leaned in to kiss him, but he pulled his head back avoiding her, not sure of what to do or how to react, she ran a hand down his wash board abs, and down to his straining cock. Taking her hands, she encircled it as she ran her fingers up and down its length, applying the tiniest amount of friction. She heard the grunt that escaped his lips as she tightened her grip on his cock, and increased the speed of her jerking hands. Buffy watched him look down from where she touched him, to lock gazes with her, and turn his head to watch what she was doing to him in the mirror that was surrounding them.

The words that made up the promise that she made to herself, and in away too him, came flooding back to her. Most of it consisted of making sure that she allowed him the pleasure of being a part of all it, even if it was just another fuck…or whatever this was, To give as much pleasure as she could to him, making up for the way she treated him before. With this in mind she was the one this time to get down on her knees in front of him to pay tribute back to him. With him still clasped in her hands, she brought his rigid length to her lips, where she licked the head with just the tip of her tongue, teasing him as he had her, in small bursts over and over again. There was no rhythm to it, she would increase or decrease the time and exposure of flesh on flesh every time; it was a different experience with each stroke.

"Please." Spike spoke the words with a quiet gravely voice, she could hear the gasp of breath that came out with each syllable he said. "Please luv…more…please." Buffy remembered the words that he'd made her said the first time they did this. He made her swallow her pride and say the words that he wanted her to say, before he would give her release.

"Please more what?" Buffy said as she continued to place small licks along his cock. "Please do it harder?" Buffy took him back into her mouth, and as she slid him within, she increased the suction she applied to his flesh. As she grazed it softly with her teeth and repeated this until he grasped his hands in her hair to slow her movements, to savour in what she was doing to him. Taking advantage of this, Buffy replaced her teeth with her tongue as she travel along the length of the stiff flesh, tracing the ridges and veins that protruded through his erection. "Please do it slower?"

Spikes' answer was a guttural grunt, and a loud "fuck", as he bent over and motioned for her to stand up again, which she complied with immediately. Taking hold of her waist, he turned her around so that she stood facing the mirrored wall, and he returned her hands to where this all started, on the handrail that surrounded the room. Still holding onto her waist, he took a small step backwards, making her back arch out, and stood behind her. Buffy felt a slight shudder pass through her whether it came from desire or apprehension she didn't know.

Grasping her hips within his hands, he pushed his cock long her using her wetness to help him glide over her flesh, until he came to her clit, rubbing himself over her nub for added simulation, and to show her what was to come. She watched the reflection of him, pulling her closer to his hips, as he took his erection within his hand and placed it at her entrance, just slipping the head in he stopped. He put his hand back onto her hips, and slowly rotated his hips, so that the head teased only a few inches of her inner walls, denying the rest of her the sensation. "Look at me," Spike spoke to her, to which Buffy immediately caught his gaze in the mirror. "Don't look away! Not even for a second! Watch us!"

Buffy watched as he pushed himself finally all the way into her body, filling every centimetre of her being, and the pressure of feeling him inside of her was exquisite. Slow thrusts only increased the pressure that she felt and was drawn out by the grinding motion of his hips that changed the angle of penetration, stroke after stroke. Spike pulled at her hips, as she pushed against him, seeking more of him with every thrust of hers against his. Pulling himself up behind her back, he changed the thrusts too hard deep thrusts that hit against her cervix, and deep within her core. He did this without breaking eye contact with her once; he saw every flame of desire reflected in her eyes, cast back at him through the mirror she stood in front of.

"Say my name," Spike painfully grabbed her hips increasing the pressure he applied, "say it!"

"Oh god!" was all she could reply with.

"Say it!" Spike spoke between each grunt that came from his lips as he slammed into her, "I want to know that you know who you're fucking! Not a thing! Not a walking talking vibrator! Say my name, Buffy!"

Buffy was absolutely taken back by his words, even though each word sprung true, and what made it worse was that he had her so worked up, that she found it hard to remember his name. She tried in vain to remember, she owed him that at least, and she didn't want it appearing that every word he said was true…that she didn't know who she'd fucked in an alley and whose cock was penetrated deep within her. She looked at him, as he stared at her with his blue within blue eyes; his gaze began to burn with anger, as he waited for her answer.

"You don't know, do you!?!" Spike slammed into her harder, his fingers biting into her cheeks of her bottom. "You don't know whose fucking you, do you little girl?"

"Yes." Buffy tried to answer him between the hard thrusts that left her speechless, "Yes, I know who you are! You're the man that gave me a refugee when I needed one! The man that helped me forget!"

"No! I'm the man you used to fuck you in that alleyway!"

"No! I know who you are!" Buffy screamed at him. He stopped his punishing thrusts as she said her words, "I know who you are!"

"Then say it!"

With a gentle rocking motion, she moved herself upon him, trying to ease some of the tension from him. She placed a hand on his hip, holding him to her as she looked him straight in the eye. "I'm with you! I'm with you, Spike." With her reply, he exploded into a harsh and fast motion as he once again began to slam into her. He let his hand move down to her clit, as he pulled it between his fingers, encouraging her to move one-step closer to coming.

"Come with me baby, come." Spike whispered in her ear, it was the total opposite approach to her that he had a few minutes earlier. She could only guess, that he was satisfied that she knew whom she was with, and who was doing those things delicious things to her. It was what she needed to hear, as she relaxed enough to allow herself to go into the abyss, as she embraced her orgasm. Her muscles clenched and contracted around his cock, sending pulsating rhythms along it, triggering his own orgasm as he felt himself tighten and exploded within her. Spike looked away from her finally after holding her gaze for so long.

"At least you know who fucked you that day." Spike pulled out of her, and stood back looking at her vulnerable stanch, he picked up his scrub shirt and put it back on, and found his pants and put them on. "And fucked you today!"

"Spike?" The look on her face expressed her concern at the point he was trying to get across. "I know it was you."

"Well if you didn't then…you certainly do now!" Spike tied his pants and slipped his shoes back on, he turned and walked out the door he didn't look back as he said the words that truly devastated her.

"Thanks Luv! Its' been a fun fuck! We must do it again sometime." This time he did turn around, "And don't be a stranger luv!"

"You bastard!" followed him out the door.

The only credit I can give so far is to Kirsty, Karen (Karbear57)and Karen's muse Edward...his been messing with my muse....Karen I'm waiting to see if the two blue lines show up yet...poor muse....(LOL) Hopefully Darcy will get back too me soon...

PULSE3

24/24 (means 24hr nursing care in medical jargon, ie one on one care)

By Mercy

Three days later…

Behind the nurses' desk, Buffy worked on the medicine charts, recharting medications for Dr. Childs' patients, it was a tedious job but one she wanted to get done quickly before lunch. It was already 1300hrs (1.00 pm) and she was starving, her stomach had already growled at her today in protest. It was bad enough that she wasn't getting enough sleep, and now she wasn't getting enough to eat. The sleep could be explained as he haunted her mind in the darkness. He would bring her so close each night to nirvana but either the dream would end abruptly as she awoke, him fading away or worse would be he would refuse to let her come dragging out her pleasure until she awoke from the frustration.

Food was being withheld as she tried to do everything she could for Dr. Childs' patients on the eighth floor so that she could either not have to come back all day, or just return for the short periods when the nurses needed her. Buffy knew he was on afternoon shift, as he had his two days off and hadn't been on this morning, and she still couldn't face him or come to terms with what had happened between them and the things that she had allowed him to do to her. Every delicious thing that he had done to her was still marred with darkness and it recked with bleakness. It also had done something to Buffy, that she had yet to fully accept or understand, but she had deep desire to embrace it over and over again as stupid as that sounded.

Her thoughts had shielded her from the commotion that was going on around the nurses' station, many of the people who sat behind the desk had become quiet and looked shocked. Buffy's ears tried to listen in on the conversation that was going on between the two women that sat directly opposite her. She could make out words like, 'overtime', 'accident', 'hurt bad', 'bike', and 'time off', but what made her drop the chart that she held was 'William'. Buffy could feel the bile rise to her throat as she pieced the words together and bent down to pick up the chart She made eye contact with one of the nurses that sat opposite her. The nurse looked at her with an odd expression, and got out of her chair making her way out from the nurses' station. She looked at Buffy over her shoulder and motioned her with her hand to follow her as she disappeared into a private room.

Buffy looked around her to make sure that no one was watching as she put the chart back into the metal stand and left the nurses station. She tried to look as nonchalant as she could as she made her way into the room to where the woman waited for her. The nurse stood over an elderly lady that slept, and pulled the bed covers over her that seemed to have slipped off, she turned after completing the task. Her nametag caught her eye, the letters formed the name 'Kirsty' on it, as the woman came over to where Buffy stood and passed her as she shut the door.

"This really isn't the place to have this conversation, but Mrs. Bateman won't mind she's as deaf as a post and sleeps like the dead." Kirsty shook her head, "Oops I shouldn't say that either, but she's a sweetie."

"Does she need anything?" Buffy made her way over to the sleeping woman. "I don't remember her being on rounds today? Is she a new patient of Dr. Childs?"

"No, she's Dr. McGuigan's." Kirsty looked at Buffy with a slight scowl. "She's not the reason that I got you in here."

"Then what is?"

"William."

Buffy went quiet for a minute, she didn't really now what to say to the nurse. "What about him?"

"I saw you."

Buffy's mouth opened in shock, this woman had seen her and Spike having sex in the physical therapy room, just the thought that someone was watching them made the blood drain from her face. She could only wonder if she heard the exchange of words that had flown bitterly between them afterwards. "What do you mean saw us? What did you see?"

Kirsty scrunched her face up as she digested what Dr. Summers had just said to her, and it dawned on her rather quickly what she meant or what she thought that Buffy was implying what she might have seen. The nurse smirked and smiled at the petite woman in front of her. At least it would make the next part of their conversation easy and she wouldn't have to interrogate the young doctor about her relationship with William.

"What I saw, Dr. Summers was you following quickly behind William the other night up towards the staircase to the upper floors that no one uses." Kirsty let out a little laugh as she continued. "So I think it safe to assume that you didn't go up there to see any patients," she watched as Buffy went a shade of red that filled her face. "What you do is your own business and no one else's, but this is important and I can see that no one has told you, or you won't be here."

"Umm, sorry Kirsty, but you've lost me?"

"It's Will, his been in an accident today, he came off his bike coming to work. I don't know how badly his been hurt but he's down in the E.R., so I think that you better get down there."

"But…but you don't..."

"But nothing Dr. Summers, I'll tell Karen when she gets here that you're downstairs with your man."

"He's..."

"Enough Buffy! Just get your ass down there! Karen will understand."

Buffy turned, opened the door and left the room leaving behind a very mistaken nurse with her patient, but she could still feel a strong pull to go downstairs and make sure that he was all right. As crazy as it seemed to seek out the man that had caused such animosity within herself, it drove her to the edge of insanity but she couldn't stop herself. Taking the elevator down to the E.R., she continued to chide herself about her decision to go and see him, but she couldn't stop each foot-step or swing of her body, as she made her way to her destination.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"I want to go home!" Spike argued with the After Hours nursing manager that was trying to tell him that he was being admitted for observation.

"William you need to be here and you know it! You have no one to care for you at home, and make sure you're okay. Therefore, you stay!"

"I'll be all right! No broken bones or concussion. I was wearing my helmet, so no brain injury and you know it!" Spike continued to argue with her. "I'll be fine, got a good neighbour next door. She'll come over and make sure that I'm all right."

"I'm sure that she will!" the manager smiled a little. "But not good enough, you need someone with you 24 hours and no arguing!"

"Look it was just a simple accident! The idiot didn't see me and just knocked me over when I was stationary, only real damage was to the bike." A soft laughter came from behind the curtain that surrounded the patient and nurse manager. "Laugh it up!" Spike grunted in disgust at someone laughing at his predicament.

With a swift motion of her hand, Buffy swung the curtain that hid her to reveal her presence to the two. Spike looked slightly shocked to see her standing there, which quickly flickered over his face and then disappeared just as fast. It was replaced by a hardened face, which stretched so much that you could see the muscles twitch in his cheeks, and his jugular vein pop up with his rise in blood pressure. Buffy looked from Spike to the nursing manger, she slightly shrugged her shoulders, rolled her eyes and frowned a little, with a 'what's his problem' look in her eyes. "Constantly Spike! You always provide such entertainment!"

"What do you want?" Spike virtually spat at her.

"Well that's a loaded question if I ever heard one!" Buffy smiled at the nursing managers blushing face. "What did you do? Dent another car?"

"Who the fu..." Spike stopped himself before he swore in front of his manager.

"Spike!" Buffy tried to cover his little outburst, realising that maybe this wasn't such a good idea. "Please!"

"Well, looks like you too have some things to talk about. I'll just leave now." The managers' discomfort was clear for both of them to see. "William let me know what happens okay, and don't forget to get those insurance papers filled out so that you'll get paid."

"Sure. Thanks." Simple and straight to the point, he didn't even look at the retreating woman, he only held Buffy in his stare, if it was possible she'd be pinned to the wall with daggers. When she was out of hearing range he started on her. "What do you want? Wait don't answer that! I know, but sorry sweetheart, looks like I'm out of commission so you'll have to get your jollies elsewhere. They say that Ben's worth a try, but hang on he's a doctor, and you doctors only like to bag the nurses don't you?"

"Spike!"

"At least you remember the name." Spike looked away, she finally was free of his intense gaze and able to have a real look at him. He looked even paler against the white linen of the sheets that lay above and below him, he'd never tan with that classic English skin, but still he looked dreadful. The white gown wasn't doing much for his fashion sense as well, Buffy let out a little laugh. "Will you stop with the laughing?"

"Did the big bad man hurt himself?" Buffy couldn't help herself.

"Look shows over just go back to whatever you doing and stop annoying me!"

"Sorry! I just wanted to make sure you were okay! The story was you got hurt really bad, and I'm sorry for having a millisecond of human concern for you!" Buffy was really pissed off and turned away as she started to walk away from him. She was quickly stopped by one of the on duty E.R. registrars that had been attending Spike that shift, Buffy tried to side step him, but the doctor put up one of his hands and stopped her.

"Buffy what are you doing here? Aren't you meant to be looking after Childs' patients?" The registrar asked as he looked over the young woman with a look that Spike didn't like, it was one of those 'here for my pleasure only' looks, one that he'd never like to see in a man.

"Yes Dr. Hepburn, but Spike's…"

"Nothing, Dr. Summers, you have no reason to be down here. Mr. Devine or is that Sister Devine is not under Dr. Childs care?" The doctor's sarcasm was thick and laced with indignation towards the man that lay on the gurney as he openly leered at her. "So can I suggest you go about your business and leave the real doctoring to us down here, and maybe if your good, when you come down for your rotation I'll take real good care of you."

"She doesn't need 'real good care' mate!" Spike started to get out of the gurney despite the pain he felt, "I can guarantee that she gets satisfied every time. So fuck off you git!"

"Spike!" Buffy spoke in a quiet voice her concern and fear. "He's not worth it!"

"Who do you think you are Devine!"

"Please Spike! He's not worth it!" Buffy warned again.

"I'll make you sorry Devine!" Hepburn threatened him.

"You and whose army?" Spike swung his legs over the gurney, despite Buffy attempts to stop him.

"I'm sure…" Hepburn was interrupted by the nurse manager that had been watching the whole scene. Everyone knew that Hepburn was a problem and she could see the situation was getting out of control. The last thing she wanted was a punch up in the E.R., especially between two staff members.

"Well Dr. Summers, I've spoken with Human Resource and considering the situation that you and your young man finds yourselves in, I've managed to get your shifts covered for the rest of the week." It was a lie but worth it, she'd have to pull in some big favours and owe some people big time, but it was worth the small price to see that weasel Hepburn go down, even once. "So come on you two love birds go home, get him to bed with lots of spoilage, lots of fluids and no whoopee!"

Spike watched as Buffy went a bright red, but she didn't dare contradict the nurse manager or she could only imagine the crap she'd get from Hepburn in the future. Even though she had an inkling that this wasn't the last time that she'd be having trouble from him. Buffy knew by instinct that she'd rather deal with an irate Spike, than a man like Hepburn. Strangely enough, she genuinely trusted the platinum blonde he'd never forced himself on her or did anything to her that she hadn't let him do in the depths of the darkest moments they'd shared. What could he do to her?

Buffy watched a very defeated Hepburn get the message and leave the two standing by the gurney ready to restrain the man that sat on it. Spike looked like he wanted to tear Hepburn into small bits and as painfully as possible. They were all glad to see the back of the doctor as he retreated further into the depths of the E.R.

"Okay kiddies you two get to 'Go and collect $200', so don't waste it. Dr. Summers take your patient home please and make sure he goes straight to bed. I'm sure that I don't have to tell you what you have to do?"

"No, and thanks for the rescue." Buffy spoke quietly to the nurse as she too retreated into the administration area of the E.R.

"Don't I get one, Luv?"

"One what?"

"Thanks for being a gentleman and defending your honour?"

"You wish!"

"Such a polite thing that you are cutie," Spike pulled himself up and leaned into her until he could whisper into her ear, "but then again we know you can say please. It would be a great pleasure of mine to teach you 'thank you'."

Buffy pulled back and looked at him like she wanted to rip of his head, and shove it down his throat; she was seething. The look on her face reflected the response he expected from his sharp tongue, but within the satisfaction of knowing he touched a raw nerve he knew that it was uncalled for, and maybe he was the 'bastard' she loved to call him. The damn woman had the ability to draw out the gentlemen and git from him, which was something that no one had been able to do for a long time, it made it exhilarating and barmy at the same time. Not to mention down right bloody confusing. At least one thing was true in this whole situation: she was satisfied every time.

A short time later, a clerk had brought his discharge papers for him and told the 'couple' that they could go. Stuck with the job it would appear of taking him home, she paged Dr. Childs before she left, and explained the situation as best she could to her boss, leaving out some important things and telling some white lies. Well, white lies that would get her out of here and the rest of the day off if she could swing it. Coming back to him, she pulled the curtains around the gurney and waited for him to dress.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Slowly she walked him from her car and up the front stairs to a two-story house that was on the nice side of town, and not something she would expect him to live in. She really had expected a townhouse or an apartment, not a family home and it just showed her that looks could be deceiving. A shudder flashed through her body as she considered that is was what it really was, a family home. Had she done the most unimaginable thing possible to her and slept with a married man? Had he knowingly as a married man slept with her?

He was leaning on her shoulders as he slowly hobbled up towards the house, took the keys out of what remained of his leather jacket and let them in. The house was neat and clean, she could smell the beeswax from the wooden staircase that was in main hallway of the house. She could just make out the kitchen with the dinning room and living room coming directly off the hallway. Buffy looked for signs of someone else in the house but could find none; she still stood in the hallway as Spike moved into the living room and sat down.

"You can come in, I won't bite." Spike turned his head a little and said more to himself, "If you ask nicely I will."

"God, you sound like an animal!"

"Well, Dr. Summers, such a response from a highly regarded member of the hospital."

"Fine, Spike, whatever! You're home! I'm done! Have a nice life!" Buffy turned to exit the house.

"Hey! Wait a minute!" Spike yelled at her. "Where are you going?"

"What does it look like, Spike? Need me to draw or write it out for you, or is the obvious one foot in front of the other hint enough?" Buffy started to walk out. "Buffy. Door. Open. Leave. Now. Or does the five words or less description do it for you?"

"Hey, you promised to keep an eye on me!" Spike ran a hand down his chest, "Help look after me, and if I remember you agreed to give 24 hour care lovingly to 'your man'."

Remembering the nurse managers words, and that she had by not saying anything to contradict her, agreed to take him home and make sure that he lived the next few days. Buffy paused, she wasn't sure if he was more at risk from dying from a hit on the head from falling of the bike. Or her taking a baseball bat to his head, pleading insanity from listening to his witty comments.

"That's right I promised to make sure that you went straight to bed when you got home," Buffy tried as hard as she could to make it as seductive as she could, two could play at this game. "With lots of spoilage."

Buffy closing the door that she now stood before, she walked into the living room and helped him to his feet. Buffy hid a snicker as he suddenly became like a helpless puppy and wanted her help to walk, once again he wrapped his arm around her as they made their way upstairs under Spikes' directions to the master bedroom. She helped him sit down on the bed but quickly turned around as he pulled his dirty scrub shirt from his body, he could sense her slight withdrawal. "That's right, you and your blushing eyes!"

"Blushing eyes? I don't know what on earth you're going on about!" Buffy stumbled out her sentence.

"You get this really slight reddish tinge to your skin and you cast your eyes down for just a second when you get embarrassed. It's rather cute," Spike spoke to her back. "But there's no need to hide, Luv, you've seen the goods anyway?" Buffy heard the further rustle of fabric as he removed his pants and the bed covers move as he climbed in under them.

She finally turned at this point to see him sitting against the headboard of the bed; she reluctantly came and sat down on the other side of the bed, wondering again how she got herself in this mess. Yet she'd promised that she'd look after him, so that's what she'd do, and she'd do it as annoyingly as possible. "Look Spike, let's just get this over and done with okay, and I'll let you have a nice sleep, okay?"

"But Luv…." Spike started to protest.

"Spike enough!" Buffy leaned over and looked into his eyes making sure that they were of equal size, she really wished she had a torch then she could have shone it for a bit longer than she usually did and give him a little pay back. "Any headache, blurry vision, nausea, auras, pain in the ass or other personality disorders than what you don't already have, Spike?"

"Oui!! The only pain in the ass I have is in front of me!" Spike laughed at her comments, at least she gave as good as she got, something that he didn't think she had the strength too, or maybe he was seeing something in her that he'd never seen. Spike had seen desperation, desire, need and lust in her eyes but never this. This was something very new; she actually had some 'backbone'.

"In that case I'll extract the pain in the ass to downstairs to make the ass a cup of coffee and get something to eat. Hungry?"

"No."

"No? You're not nauseated are you?" Buffy asked with a great concern.

"No, sweetie, just not hungry. Go." Spike titled his head towards the door.

"Alright, but if you need me or want anything just call out?"

"'Need and want. Do you really want the answer to that?"

"Another promise to your boss was no whoopee!" With that, Buffy walked out of the room and headed downstairs to satisfy at least one hunger.

Thanks to Kar for her quick response to the call for an edit..Edward would be proud!! And also to Mel for doing a fab job....and as always Kirsty who snuck it in during her lunch hour!!!

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