***

Chapter 5 - Surfing Lessons

When they reached the activities desk Buffy was excited to find out that there were Surfing Lessons every other hour. Since they were only going to be there for a week, Buffy convinced Spike to take their first lessons today, before the dinner. That way they would have the rest of the week to either take more lessons, if necessary, or just enjoy being able to surf.

At the moment they were both listening and watching the instructor show them how to balance on a board, and explain that they may not all be able to stand up this first go around. Buffy nodded but determined that she would be one of the ones who could. Spike saw the look on her face and braced himself. Past experience told him that, that look never boded well.

"Don't try anything you're not ready for, okay, luv?"

"Don't worry, Will." She gave him a reassuring smile before they both grabbed their boards and followed the instructor out into the water.

They paddled out cautiously, Spike shooting sharp glances at Buffy every few minutes to make sure she was okay. She seemed to be doing fine, and he relaxed a bit. The muscles in his arms were really getting a workout and he could already see that surfing wasn't as easy as it had always looked in the movies.

At least the lessons were done in the less violent waters, where the swells didn't reach tsunami proportions. Or so they had been told jokingly by the instructor. Spike believed him so far, not having seen any life threatening waves.

He watched with amusement, and a small hint of male pride (everyone here thought Buffy was his after all), as Buffy caught the first wave. She stayed on her stomach as instructed and rode the wave back into shore. Then she turned around and paddled back out to the rest of the class.

"Great job, luv." Spike smiled encouragingly. Then it was Spike's turn and he felt the rush as the swell propelled him back to shore. Even on his stomach he could feel the adrenaline pump through his body at the sheer excitement of the sport.

As he paddled back to the class he watched as other students came barreling toward shore. When he looked back up toward Buffy, his heart did a somersault into his stomach. The wave she was trying to catch wasn't all that large, but larger than the first attempt she'd made. And seeing the look on her face, even from this distance, Spike knew Buffy was going to try for more than she might be ready for.

When he saw her shakily get onto her knees, and remain that way he relaxed just slightly. But then as if in slow motion, he saw as she tried to maneuver her way onto her feet. Spike saw the moment she lost her balance and was already pumping his arms as fast as they would go in her direction. "Buffy!" He cried out as he watched her wipe out into the surf. Before he could reach her she resurfaced, laughing and spluttering.

When he finally did reach her, he had to restrain himself from hauling her on to his board and shaking her senseless. "Are you okay, luv?" He asked anxiously.

"I almost had it!" Buffy cried, frustrated that she hadn't been able to stand completely before she'd lost her balance.

"What?" Spike asked in disbelief. "You almost gave me a heart attack and that's all you're worried about?"

"What are you talking about Will? I'm fine. What's the big deal?"

"The big deal is that the instructor said that we might not all be able to stand right away. And what's the first bloody thing you try?" He asked giving her a hard look.

She paddled closer to him and reached out to touch his arm. "I'm fine, Spike." She rubbed his arm soothingly. Spike was just beginning to relax again when she pulled away and said, "Besides I know what I'm doing. I almost had it. I'll do it right the next time."

Spike's frustration ratcheted up a notch. His girl was so bloody stubborn! He knew there was nothing he could say to talk her out of trying again. He watched as she paddled a bit further out, waiting for another likely swell. She was athletic, had always been. When they'd met she had been a cheerleader, but before that she'd studied gymnastics for practically her whole life. Had even considered trying for the Olympics when she was younger. And she was tough. She could hold her own on a basketball court with blokes twice her size. He knew. He'd watched her do it. So why was he worried about her now?

The answer, because he *always* worried about her. Even when she was just on the court with a bloke her same size he worried about her. He just usually did a better job at hiding his concern. Buffy would just get upset and probably chide him for being a 'cave man'. But he couldn't help it. He loved her, whether she ever found out about that fact or not.

He shook his head. He was actually really lucky that he'd finally broken things off with Dru. He'd known almost the moment he'd proposed that it might have been a bad idea. Not only was her fidelity questionable, but he had a niggling feeling that he'd made the wrong choice. Sure, Buffy would never view him the way he'd always wanted her to, but did that mean he should settle for something less? The marriage he'd planned might have turned in to something bitter and resentful by the end, when the realization that he had chosen second best came to light.

He had had strong feelings for her though. Dru hadn't just been a passing fancy. He had honestly believed that they could have a life together before he'd actually gone down on one knee and put the ring on her finger. And it had hurt deeply when she'd betrayed him, not just once but twice. And without any real regret in her eyes.

However the excuse of his devastation over the break up to get Buffy to accompany him on this trip was just that, an excuse. But he was glad of it, because he could already see some of the old Buffy coming back to the surface. She was laughing and smiling and genuinely having a good time. And he couldn't help but smile in return.

He watched as she took another wave, this one just a medium sized swell. God, she was magnificent. Her body glistened wetly in the sun, her hair was tied back in a ponytail, her bangs plastered to her forehead. He studied her the way a scientist studies a newly discovered creature. Wanting to observe every possible action or reaction the creature might have.

Silently he cheered when he saw her stand and maintain her balance. He didn't want her to know he was proud of her, of her skill, and her stubborn determination. It might just encourage her to try other more foolhardy ventures. But he *was* proud of her, and proud that everyone around them thought that they belonged together. That they were a deserved match.

Then suddenly his chest tightened and he held his breath as he watched Buffy go down a second time. This time she fell head first, as the surfboard bucked beneath her. He waited a beat, but she didn't come up for air and then he began to panic.

He raced toward her, the instructor reaching her location before he could. When he got there, she was being hauled out of the water onto the instructor's board, unconscious. He cried out involuntarily when he saw her still form. There was blood too. A gash on her forehead where she had apparently hit the board before she'd fallen into the water.

"Buffy!" By the time he was close enough to touch her, the instructor was already performing CPR, difficult on a floating board, but something all the lifeguards and instructors were taught.

The relief he felt when he saw her sitting up and coughing water was immense. All the breath came whooshing back into his body and he could feel his heart pounding a drum beat against his chest.

"Is she okay?" Spike demanded.

"Will?" She called between coughs.

"Right here, luv." Spike assured her, placing a hand on her arm in comfort. Before he could say anything else she fell onto her back her eyes closed.

"What's wrong? Is she okay?" He stared, eyes wide with concern and a little pleading, at the instructor.

"She hit her head pretty bad. We have to get her to the emergency room. She probably has a concussion. But I'm sure she'll be fine."

Spike followed anxiously as they paddled back to shore, the emergency crew already at the beach alerted by a watchful lifeguard. The doctors at the emergency room didn't seem concerned. The gash only required 8 stitches, and the concussion was mild. She woke several hours later, groggy and asking for him.

"Will?"

"Here, Buffy. Right here." He reached out a hand to grasp hers.

"Where are we?" She asked.

"At the hospital, luv. Don't you remember?"

"No, what happened?" She looked around confused, her fingers clutching tightly to his.

"You wiped out on your surfboard, stubborn bint, and hit your head." He admonished her affectionately, kissing the thin line of stitches.

Buffy's free hand came up to feel at the threads. "We were surfing?"

"Yes. You don't remember anything? We're here, on Kauai." Still no recognition in her eyes. "For my business trip." He finished lamely.

Concerned now, he stood quickly. "I'll get the doctor."

The doctor didn't seem too concerned when he told them that Buffy didn't seem to remember much.

"That's sometimes the case with head trauma. It should just be a temporary condition." Spike's worry wasn't assuaged by those statements, but he gamely followed the physician back into Buffy's room.

Buffy was sitting up looking adorably confused. "Will?" She held out her hand to him, and he took it immediately.

"Hello Buffy, I'm Dr. Travers." The doctor smiled at her. "Will tells me you've forgotten a few things."

"Yes." Buffy swallowed. "What's wrong with me?" Her face was a mask of concern. Spike squeezed her hand in reassurance and she gave him a wobbly smile.

"It's perfectly normal. You hit your head and sometimes that can play tricks on your memory. But everything should start coming back to you as you heal up." He reassured them both.

"What's the last thing you remember?" Dr. Travers asked.

Buffy thought hard, her brow furrowed slightly. Then the pensive look was replaced with one of happiness as she turned to smile at Spike. She took their entwined hands and brought them up to her lips for a kiss. Then she turned that hand over and stared down at the ruby ring she wore.

"I remember shopping for my ring." She locked gazes with Spike as she spoke. "I remember kissing at the airport." She blushed. "It's all a little fuzzy, just images here and there. But I guess what I really remember," Buffy leaned forward and gave the stunned Spike a quick peck on the lips, "Is loving Will."

***

Chapter 6 - Word Association

Buffy thought she was in love with him, what was he going to do? Spike paced in the hallway outside of their rooms trying to mull over his next step. The doctor had specified that Buffy needed rest and asked that Spike try not to excite or expose her to any undue stress. Would the truth about their relationship cause either of those things? He wasn't sure and with Buffy's health he would never take the chance. So for now he had to just play along until she regained her memory.

He stepped into the room they shared, glancing briefly at the bed where Buffy was napping. God, she was beautiful. He watched her for a few moments, until she began to stir quietly. Walking quickly over he took a seat on the mattress beside her. He ran his hands through her silky hair in an effort to soothe her jerky movements.

"Will?" Buffy asked as she swam back up to consciousness.

"Yes, luv?" Spike asked, still petting her hair softly. His heart skipped a beat at the smile she graced him with once her eyes had focused on his face.

"I'm sorry you had to miss the dinner last night." Buffy's bottom lip protruded in a self-deprecating pout.

"No worries, luv." He kissed her lightly on the cheek. "I've explained the situation. The director gave me a handout of the events this week, so I didn't miss much, just the long-winded speeches. So I really owe you a thanks." Spike smiled down at her.

Buffy felt herself longing to be encircled by Will's strong arms. He was the most understanding, gentlest, sweetest man she knew. Shuffling forward she propelled herself onto his lap, wrapping her own arms around his waist and nuzzling her face into his chest. Spike's arms went around her automatically, holding her close.

"Mmmm." Buffy sighed in contentment. "I love you." She lifted her head slightly and placed a swift kiss on the underside of his jaw.

Spike felt a curious sting at the words. Words he'd wanted to hear for years. How ironically bittersweet were they now? She believed she loved him only because of the few vague memories she still had of their hastily arranged 'engagement'. Those vague memories coupled with the feelings she really did have for him as a friend had her confused and Spike miserable.

"I love you too, Buffy." Spike managed to choke out. "Are you feeling any better, luv?"

Buffy snuggled herself deeper onto Spike's lap. "Much better now." She supplied.

Unfortunately for Spike, Buffy's wriggling on his lap was affecting him in several different ways. He loved the fact that she wanted to cuddle with him, and that doing so made her feel 'much better'. Her quiet words and affectionate actions boosted his male ego to new heights. But the wriggling and rubbing were causing him to reach other more physical heights as well.

He could already feel his arousal lengthening and hoped that Buffy didn't feel it as well. When she moved to cuddle closer and pressed her bottom down against his lap he let out an involuntary groan.

Buffy smiled to herself. She could feel Will's hard length beneath her, which caused a pulse of desire to shoot through her entire body. She pressed her bottom down to rub against his arousal, at the same time that she leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips. When he groaned again, she took the opportunity presented and thrust her tongue into his open mouth.

Buffy shifted positions, straddling Will's body with her own. She ground her hips down, pressing her womanhood against the growing bulge in Will's trousers.

Spike's mind was lost to desire. His hands had reached for her breasts of their own volition. He kneaded them now, gently, swiping the hard tips with his thumbs. When Buffy moaned and arched further into his touch, Spike felt a deep satisfaction. He pulled away from their kiss to drop his mouth down and suck a firm nipple through the thin fabric of her nightshirt.

"Yes, Will." Buffy moaned. "Oooh."

What was he doing? Just because Buffy thought they were engaged, didn't mean they actually were. If he made love to her now, no matter how much she seemed to want it, he'd be taking advantage of her condition. And Buffy would never forgive him. With effort, Spike pulled away from her lusciously aroused body.

"Luv?" He waited until Buffy focused on his face once more. "We can't."

"What? Why?" Buffy was confused, and feeling decidedly put out. Did he not want her?

Spike bit his bottom lip, trying to think of a rational explanation. He could say the doctor had ordered it, but since she had been awake and conscious during the doctor's big spiel on needing rest, etc. he didn't think she'd buy it. "Because, you don't remember, but you wanted to wait until we we're married." He finally decided was the only acceptable excuse.

"Oh." Buffy thought about that for a moment. "I did?"

Spike only nodded.

"So, it's not because you don't want me?" Buffy asked quietly, glancing down in embarrassment.

Spike was stunned. How could she think that? "How could you think that, luv?" He echoed his thoughts aloud. He rolled his hips. "Can't you feel how much I want you?"

"Yesss." Buffy hissed out her own arousal having yet to abate. "I just..."

When Buffy didn't elaborate, Spike turned them so that she was once again sitting on his lap. Her face turned away, her back leaning up against his hard chest. "You just what, luv?" He kissed the crown of her head in reassurance.

"I just...have all these memories of us. How cute you looked when we met. How smart you are. The times we've been out together, our friends, buying the ring." She shrugged. "But...I don't have any memories of...you know...*us*."

"Oh." Spike took in her answer. So she remembered almost everything. Everything except for the fact that their engagement wasn't real. "Well, that's because you wanted to wait." He reminded her.

"But..." Buffy chewed on her bottom lip. Her hand came down to cover the one Will had draped over her stomach. "I don't even have any memories of us really kissing, except recently at the airport. And definitely no serious make out sessions." Buffy blushed from her head down to her toes.

There was nothing for him to do but lie. "Well, Buffy, there definitely have been several heavy petting sessions. I don't know why you don't remember." He sighed. He hated to lie to her. He'd hate it even more when she regained her memory and found out. Would she resent him for having kept the truth a secret?

Buffy took his sigh to mean something else entirely. "Oh, Will! I'm so sorry I don't remember. I'm sure it has nothing to do with you. The doctor said it was normal."

"No worries, Buffy." Spike hastened to cut off her apology. "Maybe we can do something to help you regain your memory."

"Like what?" Buffy asked, intrigued.

"Well, what about word association?"

"Word association?" Buffy looked doubtful.

"Sure, I'll say a word and you say the first thing that comes to your mind. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Home." Spike began.

"Sunnydale."

"Good!" Spike praised her. "Friend."

"Willow."

"Work." "Studio."

"Family." "Mom."

"Lorne." "Tara."

"Cordelia." "Queen." Spike raised his eyebrow at that one, but kept his chuckle in.

"Trip." "Island."

"Ring." "Ruby."

"Engagement." "Love."

"Love." "You." And then she kissed him.

"Will?"

"Mmm?"

"Instead of trying to regain my old memories..." She ducked her head shyly. "Can we just make new ones?"

He groaned. Now what was he supposed to do?

***

Thankfully Spike had been able to remember that there was an event that he had to attend. He left Buffy laying on the beach with instructions to head inside the second she felt light-headed or in anyway other than normal. She nodded, told him he worried too much then gave him a kiss goodbye.

Spike was currently sitting in an auditorium listening to an author speak about the different techniques she used to create her own paper. She was one of those wacky authors who did everything themselves. She actually made her own paper! Although he had to admit her books had a definite esoteric appeal, they just weren't for the masses. The amount of money it took to produce them was way too high for the average book buyer.

It was interesting though, if he could keep his mind on it. Instead he had images of an aroused Buffy dancing through his head. He had known when the fact that they would essentially be engaged for a week had sunk in, that he would have certain intimate moments with Buffy. He just hadn't counted on this! His groin tightened at the remembered feel of her on his lap.

How was he supposed to put her off until her memory returned? What if it took all week? Or worse even longer? What would their friends say when they returned to Sunnydale? Maybe that was the answer. Maybe he needed some advice from friends. Spike slipped out the back of the room and headed back up toward their suite.

Dialing, he waited impatiently for Wesley to pick up. Of the three close friends he had, Wesley would be the most levelheaded; the one who would probably give the most sage advice.

"Hello?"

"Wes." Spike greeted. "I need your help."

Once Spike had finished telling Wesley the details of his problem, he heard the other Brit whistle in sympathy. "That definitely is a problem."

"I know. What do you think? Should I just tell her the truth." Spike asked anxiously.

"Well, I think you might be right in that it could cause some over excitement. You might be wise to wait it out."

"But how can I?" Spike practically wailed. "Do you understand how hard this is on me?"

"Oh, I'm sure it's *hard*." Wes chuckled. Spike scowled, though the other man couldn't see it. "But you'll just have to live through it, my good man. She'll regain her memory eventually."

"But will she hate me when she does?" Spike asked.

Wes sighed. His friend could be completely blind sometimes. "No, I don't think she will. You and Buffy have had a very strong relationship for many years. I don't think she'd throw that away over something like this. When you clearly only have her own best interests at heart."

"But it was all my fault she agreed to come on this stupid trip in the first place." Spike answered.

"Yes, but those things can be forgiven. And I'm sure they will. She loves you Will." Wesley tried to inform him. Even without having Willow tell him of the fact, he could see for himself whenever the wayward couple were together that they were besotted with each other.

"Yes, I know, as a friend. As I love her." Spike answered by rote.

"Well, good luck then." Wes offered. "I've got to go, I'm already late picking up Willow."

"Okay. Thanks Wes." Spike hung up the phone dejectedly. Wes hadn't been much help. All he'd done was reinforce Spike's original decision to play along with Buffy's incomplete memories. He hadn't told Spike *how* he was supposed to do that, though.

***

Chapter 7 - Strategies and Networking

Buffy lay on the beach for most of the day. She grabbed a quick sandwich at the bar, and brought it back to her lounge chair for lunch. The sun was warm and felt wonderful on her skin, making her feel both languid and lethargic. It was a nice feeling, something she thought she hadn't felt for a long time. From what she remembered of her job it was incredibly fast paced and stressful. This trip was just what she needed to re- energize her flagging strength.

As she lay with her eyes closed her mind turned to the events that had occurred only hours ago in their suite. Buffy remembered vividly every hard plane and rigid muscle of Will's body. Her own began to tingle at the very memory. Her whole body had been buzzing during their kiss and she'd known nothing at the time except the yearning for more. How could she have decided to not take their relationship that one step further?

It wasn't as if she were afraid that they didn't know each other well enough. She doubted there was anyone else who knew her half as well as Will did, and vice versa. They'd known each other for what seemed like forever and she knew, whether she remembered the last few weeks in detail or not, that there was no one she trusted more. So why not take it to the next level? Maybe it was time to re-evaluate that earlier decision.

She thought of Will's reactions to her earlier, and even during the remembered kiss they'd shared at the airport. Thinking back she couldn't help but feel that both kisses had begun reluctantly, almost as if he had tensed at the first feel of her lips. Why would that be the case? Maybe she was imagining things? But the more she thought about it, the more it seemed to be true. And the way he'd acted this morning, after her initial overture, had seemed odd as well, almost as if he were hiding something from her.

Buffy knit her brow in thought. What could be the problem? Suddenly she gasped as an idea struck her. Could Will have found another woman? Could that be why he didn't want to kiss her, or make love to her? No, Will would never cheat on her, she was sure of that. Maybe he'd just realized that he didn't really love her, and was going to break it off before her accident. Will wasn't the type of guy to kick her while she was down. Maybe he was just biding his time until she got better, before breaking things off with her. Buffy's lip began to tremble and her eyes misted over. Did Will not love her anymore?

She tried to think back over their relationship. It was strange but she couldn't pinpoint the moment they'd gone from just friends to something more. She had plenty of memories surrounding them together, and several of him saying those three sweet little words, 'I love you'. But she was sure that Will had never had a problem telling her he loved her, even when they had just been friends. So, what clear memory did she have of them as a couple? None. Unless you counted the day they shopped for the engagement ring. And that memory was far from clear. More like disjointed images of a jewelry store, Will slipping the ring on her finger and her own attempts to arrest the tears that gathered in her eyes.

It seemed a recent memory though. If he had stopped loving her, why would he have gotten her a ring? Why hadn't he called things off before going that far?

Buffy wracked her memory for anything that might help. The only things prominent were Will, and her job. She did seem to spend an awful lot of time at the studio. She remembered several all nighters as well. Could that be the problem? Could Will resent the fact that she worked too much? That she didn't give enough to their relationship? Buffy couldn't imagine her life without Will. Her job did mean a lot to her; she wanted to be successful in her career, but not at the expense of her relationship with the man she loved.

What could she do to change his mind? Maybe she just needed to let him know that *he* was her priority. She had all week to convince him of that fact. And when they got back from this trip she would re-evaluate her job and whether it truly did make her happy. Maybe she could cut back on hours there, or find another studio that would be more reasonable. Being a PA wasn't exactly glamorous, though she loved working in the industry. Maybe it was time to see about changing careers. Either way Buffy couldn't lose him. She was determined to spend this week making sure Will knew how much she loved him.

***

Okay, all he had to do was keep them out of the room for as long as possible. Being in public was the only solution. Spike knew that being alone with Buffy was something he couldn't afford to do. Being in public with Buffy was already weakening his resolve to keep things platonic between them; private time would just eradicate it completely. Especially because she was determined to maintain physical contact at all costs, or so it seemed.

After his phone call with Wesley, Spike had gone out for a long walk. By the time he'd returned to the room, Buffy was already dressing for dinner in the bathroom. He quickly donned his suit and used the vanity in the bedroom to insure his unruly curls were tamed. When Buffy had stepped out of the bathroom, Spike nearly reneged on his promise to keep a safe distance from the girl.

The dress she wore was a shimmering gold that fell just inches below the shapely curve of her hips. Nothing indecent, but something definitely a bit risqué. The neckline was modest, swinging to just above the soft mounds of her breasts. The fabric was so thin he could see the outline of her hard nipples, and wondered if that meant she wasn't wearing a bra.

She had just a splash of make-up on, and Spike was glad. He never thought she needed any, preferring to see her fresh-faced. The subtle odor of her perfume wafted across the room and aroused his senses. He had no idea what type of flower it smelled like, only that it tickled his nose and made his body tingle.

Spike cleared his throat clumsily, nearly choking instead. "You look beautiful, Buffy." He managed the words. "Ready, luv?" He held his arm out for her, both aching for and dreading her touch.

They walked out together, heading downstairs to the dinner. The outline the director had given him had stated that a formal dinner would be held each night in one of the ballrooms of the hotel. It was a chance for conference guests to mingle, exchange business cards, and make new contacts. In short, it was everything Spike hated, yet everything he was here to do.

When they entered the room, Spike barely held back a cringe. There were several hundred people in the room. He searched the small sign-in table for their name tags, finding them he helped Buffy pin hers on before pinning on his own. He scowled slightly at the tag, realizing that all the men in the room now had a reason to focus on Buffy's chest.

"Relax, Will." Buffy ordered him, feeling the tension in his taut arms.

"Relax? In this bloody mob?" Spike swept the room with his gaze and groaned. "Great! Look who's coming this way."

Buffy glanced up to see a dark haired man and a blond walking in their direction. "Who's that?" She whispered.

"You don't remember?" Spike asked.

"Duh! Head trauma?" She reminded him.

"It's that Angel git, and his dozy better half, Harmony. We met them at the airport." He offered.

By the time the other couple had reached them, Buffy head a welcoming smile plastered to her face. "Hello, again." She nodded in their direction.

"Hello, Buffy." Angel gave her a smile, reached for her hand and placed a kiss on the back of it. He completely ignored Spike, who began to emit a deep growl at the other man's temerity.

Buffy immediately pulled her hand away from Angel and placed it around Will's waist, leaning her body into his. The growling ceased, but Spike continued to stare daggers at the man talking to his girl.

"So, how have you been, Buffy? I heard you had a little accident the other day. I have to say you definitely don't look any worse for wear." Angel winked at her.

Buffy felt distinctly uncomfortable. She could feel the tension tightening every muscle of Will's body. And the feelings she got from Angel were of the creepazoid variety. Why didn't the woman he was with say something to him instead of just smiling inanely?

"Yes, we had a small mishap surfing. But I'm fine now. Will took good care of me." She turned and placed a quick kiss on Will's cheek. "Thanks, honey."

Spike continued to remain silent. Finally, Harmony spoke up. "So, when do you two plan to get married? Have you set a date yet?"

Buffy's smile widened into a genuine one. She turned to Will and asked, "We haven't set a date yet, have we honey?" Then turning back to Harmony she continued, "But I'd love to do it as soon as possible. Maybe in October, I'd love a fall wedding. The whether will be cool, but not cold." She didn't notice Spike's gaze shift to her. Didn't notice his close scrutiny, or the wistful look in his own eyes.

"It's a good thing our circle of friend's are all couples. That way we don't have to worry about pairing anyone up for the wedding party. We haven't actually started official planning yet, but I know my mom has probably planned everything down to the minute since the day I was born." Buffy chuckled. "And she loves Will. She's been telling me for years that we should get together."

"She has?" Spike broke in, surprised.

"Oh yeah. You didn't know that?" Buffy answered smiling at him.

"No, luv. You never said."

"I thought it might just make you uncomfortable. You never seemed to want anything besides friendship with me."

"But you wanted more?" He was intrigued.

"Well, we're engaged aren't we?" She emitted a low sexy laugh.

Spike barely kept the scowl off his face. That wasn't the answer he was looking for. The only reason they were engaged was because of his own stupidity. He thought back over their recent conversation. Did that mean that Buffy had feelings for him? That she had wanted to become more than friends, and had never told him? Or was that just wishful thinking on his part?

"Come on, Angel. Let's leave the two lovebirds alone and find our table. I'm starving." Harmony began to pull Angel away from them, waving a quick goodbye.

"See you later, Buffy." Angel's goodbye sounded more like a threat to both their ears. It made Buffy shiver and Spike's arm tightened around her.

"Let's go, luv. You must be hungry too. You only had a sandwich for lunch, yeah?" He asked, leading her toward a table.

"Yeah. I'm a little hungry, but I'm okay. Don't worry Will."

"Can't help it, luv." Spike answered.

"I know. That's one of the reasons I love you so much." She kissed him on the lips this time. The kiss was quicker and definitely more chaste than Spike would have liked, but he conceded it was probably for the best.

When the rest of the table sat down, Spike tried to make conversation with their table-mates but it was not one of his more honed skills. Fortunately for him, Buffy was an expert at socializing. She soon had the whole table chuckling and in a light hearted mood. Spike watched her, his heart swelling. Every now and then she would brush a hand against his, or lean her body into his, as if the brief contact gave her enough energy to keep going throughout the night.

Afterwards, when the women separated to make a trip to the ladies room several of the men commented on his luck. Spike could only smile and nod, knowing that if his engagement were real that statement would be nothing but the truth. He was also able to get several business cards, and pass out several of his own before the night ended.

Finally the night waned and Spike informed their new acquaintances that he should be taking Buffy up to get some rest. He guided her out of the ballroom and back up to their suite, dreading a sleepless night beside the woman of his every fantasy. He knew he wouldn't be able to get a wink of sleep with Buffy laying beside him.

When they got upstairs he let Buffy use the bathroom first. He stripped down to his boxers and got under the covers to wait for her. Normally he slept in the nude, but he knew that was out of the question. When Buffy exited the bathroom, Spike nearly fainted, all the blood rushed to his groin leaving him lightheaded and groggy.

While Buffy had been getting ready for dinner this afternoon, she'd come across something hidden at the bottom of her suitcase. It was one of her Victoria Secret's sexy nightgowns. She'd figured this was the perfect way to hint to Will that she wanted to nix her original plan to wait until they were married. So she'd take it to the bathroom and left it there, slipping it on when they'd returned from dinner.

She looked beautiful. Better than any fantasy he'd conjured of her over the years. Her curves were covered with a very thin silky material. Lace edging crept to just above her hard nipples, and the top itself ended at just about her waist. He could see she wore matching thong underwear, and a see through robe thing that ended at hip level. He groaned, his erection pulsing between his legs.

"Buffy?" Her name was a croak between dry lips.

Without a word she came to stand beside him on the bed. Leaning down she took his mouth with her own, slipping her tongue between surprised lips and exploring his warm mouth. His arms came around to wrap around her waist and haul her on top of him. She could feel his arousal through the sheets, and ground her hips down, making him moan and thrust up toward her.

"Buffy, we can't." He nearly cried, trying to pull away from her.

"Yes, we can." She silenced him with another kiss. "I know I don't remember everything, but I know I want you. There's no reason to wait."

Spike was helpless. How was he supposed to refuse her? He was only human, and what little intelligence he normally sported seemed to have drained down to the lower portion of his body. And god, he wanted her too.

Carefully he repositioned them, scooting Buffy over so that he could throw off the covers. He laid her down beside him, rising up on his elbows to get a better look at her. With her hair fanned around her face, and her cheeks flushed she was the sexiest woman Spike had ever seen. He wanted her more than he ever thought possible, but still he fought against his instincts knowing that the 'real' Buffy would never forgive him if he went too far.

"You're so sexy, Buffy." He murmured, bending down to drape his lips over hers. "Close your eyes, luv." He commanded as he drew back from her. He then began to trail kisses all over her face, and then down her neck. He stopped to suck lightly on her pulse point for a few minutes, loving the breathy moans that he could feel vibrate against his lips.

As his kisses traveled further down her body, Spike's hands came up to slowly begin to divest Buffy of her lingerie. Finally she was wearing nothing more than the lacy thong. Her eyes were closed, and her chest rose and fell with every deep breath she took. Spike's gaze focused on her hard nipples, and his mouth watered at the thought of suckling there. Before allowing himself the pleasure, he divested himself of his own clothing, leaving him nude beside her.

At last he dipped his head down and took one rosy nipple into his mouth. Buffy mewled, and arched her back, loving the feel of his rough tongue on her sensitive flesh. As he licked and sucked one breast, his hand covered the other, kneading the soft mound gently. When he let his lips wander to her right breast, Spike's hand began a slow journey downward. He caressed Buffy's flat belly, tickling the smooth skin there.

Spike lifted his mouth, and raised himself higher so that he could once more kiss her passion swollen lips. Leaning forward he whispered, "There are other ways to give each other pleasure, luv." And then he dipped his fingers beneath the small scrap of lace Buffy still wore. Spike knew he was probably only fooling himself, but he hoped that if he at least kept them from performing the final act Buffy would find it in her heart to forgive him.

Spike swallowed her surprised cry with his own mouth, his tongue and fingers dipping into her body at the same time. His own arousal flared at the first feel of her moist center. Already slick his fingers entered her easily, and he setup an even rhythm. Her hips began to thrust in counterpoint to his movements, and he could tell that she was getting close to the edge.

Unexpectedly Buffy's eyes shot open and she caught his gaze with her own. "I love you." She whispered softly, and then reached down to grasp his rock hard member. Spike gasped and threw his head back, but kept his own fingers moving steadily. Without conscious thought they matched each other's rhythm, Buffy's hand moving in pace with Spike's.

Their breathing sped up, as did their fingers. When Buffy's orgasm hit, she squeezed her hand unintentionally sending Spike over the brink as well.

As their lids grew heavy and their breathing evened out, Spike couldn't remember ever feeling more sated. They hadn't even made love, yet this felt like the most intimate moment he'd ever shared with another human being. He moved in closer, wrapping his arm around Buffy and nuzzling her neck. God, what would happen when she got her memory back? He clung to the hope that she would see that he'd only tried to do what was best. But even if she did, would *he* ever be able to forget these days with Buffy? Would he be able to go back to being 'just friends' with the girl that he'd secretly loved for years now that he'd had a taste of what it was like to be more?

Buffy felt completely boneless. She had wanted to seduce Will into making love to her. Although her plan had failed, she didn't think that this was too far off her original mark. He was obviously still attracted to her. And although he hadn't responded to her love declaration, he had been a little busy at the time. Buffy had to admit that most men lost coherency when all the blood rushed from one head to the other. She still thought the evening had turned out pretty well. And it only made her resolve to stick to her original plan to make sure that Will knew how important he was to her. With that last thought she snuggled further into Will's embrace and finally drifted off to sleep.

***

Chapter 8 - Confessions, Promises, and Nicknames

Buffy woke in the morning alone. The stab of disappointment she felt sharpened when she realized Will's pillow was cold and he was no longer in the suite. He must have left hours ago. She frowned, was he regretting there intimacy last night?

Deciding to think on the bright side, Buffy got up and started the tub for a bath. The bathtub was large and had whirlpool jets, something that Buffy planned to take advantage of. Indulging in a long bubble bath was one of her favorite pastimes. It was always able to relax her. And with the stitches in her head, a bath was preferable to a shower in order to keep the wound dry.

She sank into the tub, turning the small radio in the bathroom on low. Closing her eyes she let her mind linger on last night, remembering the feel of Spike's hands on her and shuddering. Daydreaming, she never heard the door open and so was startled when a deep voice greeted her.

"Morning, luv." Spike had watched her for several minutes before announcing his presence. Though the bubbles covered most of her beautiful body, her peaked nipples rose just above the surface. He suppressed a groan, and hoped that Buffy didn't acknowledge the growing bulge in his pants. He really couldn't allow a repeat of last night, or heaven forbid, any *more* intimate moments.

Buffy let out a small eek, before here eyes popped open to find Spike staring down at her. Even though they'd obviously shared an intimate relationship, and had nearly made love last night, she still felt the blush creeping over her face. She supposed it was natural to feel shy being the only naked person in the room.

Despite her embarrassment she gave him a warm smile, glad to see he'd returned to the room before she had to go looking for him. Maybe he didn't regret their night together after all?

"Good morning." She greeted him. "Would you like to join me?"

Spike's posture immediately stiffened. "I'm afraid I've got a busy morning, Buffy. I just came back to say good morning and let you know that I'd be in workshops most of the day."

"Oh." She couldn't hide her disappointment.

The look on Buffy's face almost made him take it back. There was only one workshop he really had to attend; the rest were optional. But in order to maintain his sanity, Spike thought he should attend any and all events available.

"We'll be able to meet up for dinner, though." Spike offered.

"When will you be through?" How was she supposed to ingratiate him with her love if they didn't spend any time together?

"The last workshop lets out at 4, so we can meet back here at 4:30, okay, luv?"

Buffy sighed, she supposed she really had no choice. "Okay." She gave him a halfhearted smile.

Giving in to temptation, Spike leant down to give Buffy a goodbye kiss. As soon as their lips touched, Spike knew it had been a mistake. Lust burned through him, causing his groin to tighten and his throat to constrict. He felt wetness seep into the collar of his shirt as Buffy's hand lifted and wrapped around his neck, bringing him closer and deeper into the kiss.

Spike wanted to rip his clothes off and join her in the tub. He wanted to trace her curves with his soapy hands and blow the bubbles off her body as he kissed every inch of her. He wanted to feel her exploring him, touching, kissing, and licking every bit of his skin. He groaned.

Buffy felt the rumble of sound echo from his mouth to hers. The residual tingle rippled through her body and caused her nipples to peak and her toes to curl. She let out a small cry of disappointment when he finally pulled away from her.

"I'd better go, luv." Spike panted. Buffy felt a small pulse of triumph when she saw the telltale bulge in his trousers. But the tiny victory was soon overshadowed with frustration when he stood to leave.

"Okay, Will. I'll see you this afternoon." He did come here to work after all. She couldn't expect him to spend all day with her, could she?

After Will left Buffy stayed in the tub until the water turned cold. Drying off she put on her bikini and got ready to go to the beach. Unfortunately her injury had pretty much curtailed most island activities for her. There were still a few things she could do. Really she just had to avoid soaking her stitches.

She could try parasailing, or even kayaking as long as the waters weren't too rough. She couldn't really afford getting dunked, although it probably wouldn't hurt that much. But she wouldn't be getting the stitches out until at least the end of the week. Sighing she laid her bag and towel down on the lounge chair and then sat beside them to take her sandals off.

Yeah, she supposed there were still a few activities she could participate in. But she didn't want to do them alone! She wanted Will with her. Maybe he would have more free time tomorrow. She spread her towel out and grabbed a paperback from her bag before getting comfortable on the chair.

Before long Buffy was so engrossed in her book that she didn't see the new occupant of the chair to her right. "Ahem," the woman next to her tried to get her attention but to no avail. Finally the woman just leaned over and poked Buffy in the shoulder, making her let out a startled yelp.

"Hey!" Buffy turned to scowl at the new comer. She was surprised to find Harmony, a friendly smile plastered on her face.

"Hi Buffy!" Harmony greeted her.

"Hello." Buffy answered warily.

"I brought you some magazines. I thought it might be fun, if you hadn't already picked everything out." Harmony showed her the variety of wedding magazines she'd brought. "Since the boys are busy I thought we could hang out together."

Buffy wasn't exactly thrilled about the idea, but she didn't want to appear rude. And she was sort of interested in starting the plans for their wedding. She didn't remember them making any decisions yet. "Sure. That sounds great. Thanks, Harmony."

To her surprise Buffy was actually having a pretty good time. Harmony had some great advice on bridesmaid dresses and floral arrangements, which Buffy took to heart. Around noon they both decided to break for lunch and head up to the lobby restaurant together.

"So, are you and Angel thinking of getting married soon?" Buffy asked, wondering how Harmony knew so much about wedding arrangements. The frown that marred Harmony's face had her wishing she could take back the question.

"No."

"Did you want to talk about it?" Buffy asked.

"I...He'll never want to marry me." Harmony finished sadly.

"Why? Don't you think he cares about you?" Buffy put her hand out to cover Harmony's on the table.

"No." Harmony sighed heavily. "He just likes to sleep with me."

"That can't be true!" Buffy was indignant. "Why would he bring you on this trip, if that's all he wanted?"

"Because everybody else was bringing someone, so he had to as well." Harmony shrugged.

"Oh, Harmony." Buffy patted her hand in comfort. "Do you love him?"

It was a long time before Harmony answered. "I thought I did." She whispered, head down. "But he's changed so much. He used to be so sweet. He was the first guy in a long time to treat me as something more than just a ditzy blond." Harmony sighed. "But he's never happy anymore. Now, it's like he's just angry all the time."

"Harmony," Buffy leaned forward urgently. "Does he ever hurt you?"

"Hurt me?" Harmony looked startled for a moment. "No. Not physically anyway. It's just that his company means so much to him. And they're having so many problems. The past year has been really rough. I think he might resent Will."

"Will?" Buffy's heart started to race. "My Will?"

"Yes. Will's been so successful this past year. He's outbid Angel on almost every book he's really wanted. And to top it all off he's the press' darling. Angel fumed when he saw that article on Sunnydale's most eligible bachelors a few months back. It might not have been so bad if Will hadn't made the cover."

Buffy remembered the magazine. They'd interviewed her as one of Will's closest friends. Hmmm, that had been about 3 months ago. So their relationship must be extremely recent. Though Buffy supposed it shouldn't surprise her that he proposed right away, they have known each other for almost a decade already. They didn't really need the getting to know you, hand holding, first date stage of coupledom. Buffy frowned, something didn't quite add up.

"Buffy? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. Angel won't do anything." Harmony reassured. "You know how competitive boys can get. I'm sure that's all it is."

"I'm sure you're right." Though Buffy still resolved to tell Will what she'd learned. "Let just finish lunch, okay?" But before she picked up her fork again, Buffy addressed Harmony once more, "But...if something does happen, if Angel does or says anything that makes you uncomfortable, let me know. Promise me you won't stick around if Angel starts to blame you for all his troubles, okay?"

"I promise." Harmony smiled at her. It felt good to have someone care about her, even if it was a woman she'd only met days before. "Thank you, Buffy."

"Just make sure you keep that promise."

***

Buffy was getting ready for dinner when Spike arrived back in their room. Spike inhaled the lingering scent of Buffy's perfume as he entered. He could hear her tinkering around in the bathroom, probably putting the finishing touches on her makeup.

Quickly he changed into the cotton shirt and slacks he was wearing for tonight's dinner. Before he could put his loafers on, Buffy was emerging from the bathroom. Her hair was up in a french twist, held together by one very large hair comb. Her outfit was casual, as the outline had noted was tonight's theme. Her skirt was a floral print sarong in differing shades of purple. Her top was a white knit halter. And to top the ensemble off she wore a matching orchid in her hair.

"Beautiful, luv." The compliment flew from Spike's lips.

Buffy blushed prettily. "Thank you, Will."

Spike stepped forward and gathered Buffy into his arms. "Can I ask you something, Buffy?"

"Sure, Will, anything." She snuggled into his embrace.

"Ever since your accident you've only ever called me Will. Do you not remember my nickname, luv?" Spike asked, worried that this was just another piece of Buffy's memory lost.

"'Course I know your nickname, Will. You only asked me to start calling you that almost four years ago." Buffy chuckled. "But you know why I call you Will instead of Spike."

"No, luv. You never said."

"I didn't? Not even when we first started dating? I'm sure I would have told you." Buffy murmured. "Are you sure?"

Spike cursed himself. "Well, maybe you did, and I've forgotten?"

"Well...it's just..." Buffy began, "It's just that it's something of mine."

"Yours, luv?"

"Yes. You make everyone outside of work call you Spike." Buffy explained. "Don't you remember that even before we started seeing each other I used to call you Will occasionally?" Spike nodded. "That's because it felt special. It felt special because I was the only one you allowed the privilege. And it sort of made me feel connected to the boy I met in college."

"Why would you want to feel connected to that wanker?" Spike asked, surprised.

Buffy slugged him in the shoulder. "What do you mean? You were the smartest, sweetest guy I'd ever met."

"In other words, I was a pouf." Spike scowled.

"Will! No, of course not. Even then I'd felt an attraction to you, but you never seemed to want anything but friendship from me."

"You were attracted to me back then?" Spike was amazed. He found it hard to believe that Buffy was attracted to him even now.

"How can you think you're so unattractive?" Buffy wondered aloud. "You were Sunnydale's number one most eligible bachelor just a few months ago." Which reminded her that she really should tell him about her conversation with Harmony earlier.

"But back then?" Spike asked again.

"Yes, back then!" She slugged him in the shoulder for the umpteenth time.

"But...but...my hair was all poufy, and my clothes were so...boring."

"Those things didn't matter to me." Buffy answered him softly, her lips grazing his cheek ever so slightly.

Spike was flabbergasted. Buffy had been attracted to him? Could this be another symptom of the accident and the memory loss? He couldn't understand how Buffy could feel that way about him without him knowing it. He'd made a study of her for the past ten years, you'd think he'd notice any affection she might have harbored for him.

Before he could question her further she kissed him stoutly on the lips, leaving him dazed and confused. Then she grabbed his hand and tugged him toward the front door. "Come on or we're going to be late for dinner." And then they were out the door.

***

Chapter 9 - Getting to Know You

The next day, Buffy resolved to get Will to spend some time with her. She'd checked the outline and knew that there was only one workshop that he was required to attend. So she followed him into the bathroom, sitting on the edge of the tub to watch him shave.

She'd intended to corner him there and get him to agree to lounging with her for a few hours, but ended up silent as she watched his quiet morning ritual. Just a few minutes ago Buffy had felt the affects of a long night's sleep on Will's stubbled cheek. The rough feel of his skin against hers as they kissed good-morning had her tingling and drew her in for a second kiss before she let him get out of bed.

Now she watched as he smoothed shaving cream over his face and rinsed out the razor. He didn't use one of those barber blade thingies, but he didn't use an electric razor either. It was one of those older razors that you could switch the blades out of. For some reason, Buffy liked it more. The silence made the whole thing seem kind of surreal. Buffy watched in rapt attention as each swipe of the blade through the thick white cream left Will's face baby soft. She longed to reach out and touch a finger to the newly smoothed surface just to compare the difference from their earlier contact.

Spike was painfully aware of Buffy's scrutiny. The way she was looking at him, it took all his concentration to avoid fatally wounding himself. God did she what she did to him? Methodically he continued to run the blade up and down his face, making sure to get every inch of stubble, making sure not to make eye contact with Buffy through the mirror. It had already taken enough out of him just to roll out of bed after the good morning kiss she'd planted on him. It wouldn't take much to get him tumbling back into it, with her.

When he was finally through, Spike rinsed any residual cream off his face before splashing on some aftershave. The liquid stung as he slapped it on, letting the sharp pain break him out of his lustful thoughts. Damn! Buffy was his best friend, had been since almost as far back as he could remember. Or at least as far back as he wanted to remember. Why couldn't he stop thinking about her as anything more than that?

Yes, he had always known she was beautiful. That her body was petite yet muscled, her face full of pixie innocence, and her eyes startlingly wide and almost always filled with quiet amusement. He loved that about her. The fact that she could find humor, a small sense of the ridiculous, in just about any situation. He also adored the fact that she was intelligent, kind-hearted, and one of the sweetest bints he'd ever met.

So why couldn't he concentrate on those things lately? Why was the only thing his mind able to focus and zero in on was the fact that she was also one of the sexiest bints he'd ever met? Sighing he rinsed out the razor and put it back in his traveling kit.

"What do you have planned for today, kitten?" Spike asked, trying to force his thoughts on to other more concrete paths.

Buffy jumped to her feet, giving him a heart-melting smile as she shuffled closer to him. "Well, I can't really do too much until the stitches come out. I thought maybe we could lay on the beach for awhile. And - oh! I've always wanted to try parasailing. We should be able to do that, right? I mean, I don't have to be in the water for that do I?"

Spike hadn't missed the fact that she'd said 'we' rather than 'I'. She wanted to spend the whole day with him. On a normal day he could handle it, no problem. Buffy in a bikini was a sight, that was for damn sure, but he'd always been able to control his wandering libido before. But now...While she thought they were lovers about to marry, how was he supposed to resist? Even now he could see the hint of desire in her eyes as she walked toward him. He tensed as he felt her arms surround his waist and her head bend down to kiss his shoulder lightly.

"I checked the schedule. You only have one meeting today. Can we meet for lunch afterward and spend some time together?" Buffy met his eyes in the mirror and gave him her best pleading look.

Spike crumbled. How was he supposed to say no to those eyes? "Sure, luv. Anything you want." And then he turned and kissed her.

Buffy held onto him, crushing him closer as their lips met. She was so elated. This was the first time that Will had made the first move toward her. Maybe she'd been wrong about the problems they'd been having. When she was in his arms like this, it certainly seemed like she had been.

What was he thinking? Or maybe that was the problem, he hadn't been thinking at all. The look she gave him, her warm arms around his waist, her firm breasts pressed gently against his back. It had all been too much. Spike had spent a long incredibly restlessly night lying alongside Buffy. Not daring to move for fear that one brush of her skin against his would cause a chain reaction worse than any nuclear explosion.

So instead he gritted his teeth and forced himself to remain awake. He didn't trust his control in sleep, so he lay awake all night while Buffy snuggled into his embrace. How could he turn her away? What would she think of he didn't want to hold her as they slept? So he did.

But now he did more than just passively stand in her embrace. Now he let his hands wander her back while his tongue invaded her mouth. She moaned and he hardened. Spike deepened the kiss, his hands moving down her back to cup her buttocks. He pressed his groin towards hers, fitting them together nicely.

Only when Buffy freed her mouth long enough to whisper, "Will, please, let's go back to bed." Did Spike finally break away. He was trembling and aching, but he put enough distance between them to clear his head. What the bloody hell had he been thinking?

Buffy watched as Will visibly composed himself. His features hardened, not into a cold mask, but still lacking the warmth from his earlier desire. His hand made a rough path through his hair as he blew out a ragged breath.

"God, Buffy. I want to, but...we can't." He made a show of looking at his watch. "I have to be downstairs in twenty minutes."

Buffy didn't bother to hide her disappointment. She had a feeling his refusal had more to do with her previous wish to remain abstinent, but she didn't press him on it. There was a glimmer of hope shining through her aching disappointment. *Will* had kissed her. And she could tell, whether he believed it or not, he was weakening. It wouldn't be long until he finally gave in, and they could be together.

"Okay, sweetie. I'll just meet you in the lobby after your meeting." Buffy kissed him gently on the cheek before exiting the bathroom to find clothes for the day.

Spike checked his watch again. He did have to be at the workshop in twenty, no make that fifteen, minutes but he couldn't go like this. So he opened the clear glass door, and stepped in to the shower. Turning the nozzle completely to the left he shuddered as the cold water hit him full blast in the face. Too bad there wasn't going to be as easy a solution for him *after* his meeting.

***

"Tell me what you thought the first time we met." Buffy smiled across at him from the beach towel she'd spread on the hot sand. They had been lying beside each other baking in the sun for the past two hours, sweating away the last of the quick meal they'd eaten after Spike's meeting. And for the past two hours, Buffy's fingers had been entwined with his. She'd taken his hand almost immediately after stretching out on the towel, and hadn't let go.

When he didn't answer right away, she squeezed his hand to get a response. "The first time we met? How about I tell you about the first time I ever set eyes on you?"

Buffy looked up at that, turning on her towel to face him completely. "Weren't they at the same time?"

"No." Spike answered, staying on his back, looking up at the sky. He could feel her eyes on him, but he refused to make contact. He'd never told her this, and somehow it made him feel almost as if he were stripping himself bare in front of her. "I'd seen you before, on campus. The first time I'd ever seen you, you were walking across the quad with Willow and Cordy." He sighed and moved his free arm to cover his eyes, shading part of his face from the sun.

"I was just coming out of the Liberal Arts building after one of my classes. I can't even remember which, all I remember was seeing you there, laughing and smiling as you walked with your friends." Now he did turn and look her in the eye. "I think I might have fallen in love with you then." Bloody hell! Why had he told her that? "It was one of those perfect California days, the sun was out and the wind was just breezy enough to gently swirl the curls that framed your face. The way you were laughing, it was so...real. It wasn't one of those fake, sorority girl laughs. It was loud and heartfelt. Then you looked toward me, and even though I knew you weren't looking *at* me I think I stopped breathing altogether."

"Oh, Will." She leaned in and placed her cheek on his chest, snuggling into his embrace and hooking her own arm around him. "That's one of the sweetest things anyone's ever said to me. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Yeah, right." He snorted. "Like a beautiful bint like you was going to even look twice at me?"

"But I did look twice. Why did you think I kept asking you to study with me?" Buffy insisted.

"Because you needed help? Because you were a bloody good samaritan and thought that a pathetic loser like me needed more friends?"

"I never thought you were a loser! Or pathetic!" She sat up abruptly her words full of indignation. "You were and still are the smartest man I know. And you're incredibly sweet, and loyal and..."

"I sound more like a dog than a man." Spike interrupted her. "Besides you told me you just wanted to be friends." He remembered that drunken night with clarity.

He wasn't much of a drinker, but Buffy had wanted to try a new club and he'd gone with her. They'd both had a little too much to drink and had ended up back in Buffy's dorm room. Willow had been gone for the weekend visiting Wesley, and so they'd found themselves alone. Somehow they must have fallen asleep on her bed together. He hadn't known how they'd gotten there. He woke up with a start probably only an hour or so after they'd fallen asleep because the clock only read 3:23AM. When he turned to check on Buffy she was awake and watching him and before he knew what was happening their lips were pressed together. She moved closer and wrapped her arms around his neck, one hand moving up to run through his nancy boy curls.

He let himself enjoy the feel of her for about half a second before he steeled himself and pulled away. "Buffy, we can't." God, how it killed him to say that. But he couldn't take advantage of her when she'd been drinking. And she was obviously drunk, because he knew she'd never kiss him sober. And he felt his own little buzz going as well. For a moment he thought he saw a flash of something in her eyes, but then it was gone.

"Oh god, sorry." Buffy whispered, turning away from him and swinging her legs off the bed. "I must be soooo drunk. You're such a good friend. Please tell me I haven't made you too uncomfortable to still hang out with me." She pulled herself off the bed and walked slowly over to the minifridge in the corner.

"No, 'course not, luv." He answered immediately, wishing she were back in bed with him.

"Good, because your friendship is like the most important thing to me. I would *never* want to do anything to ruin that." She stated adamantly as she pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge and took a healthy swig.

"Well, what did you want me to say?" Buffy's heated question pulled Spike out of his reverie.

"Huh?"

"What did you want me to say, after I throw myself at you and you push me away?" Buffy asked, head lowered now.

"You were drunk, luv."

"No, I wasn't. I mean, yeah I'd had a drink or two, but I wasn't anything more than buzzed." She answered. "I had been wanting to kiss you for so long, and I just figured I couldn't pass up the opportunity, you know?"

Buffy was afraid to look up. Will was completely silent, and it was sort of freaking her out. Obviously they were together now, but revealing her intentions from that long lost night had been very daunting. She was feeling very exposed, and the longer his silence droned on the more uncomfortable she got.

Just when she thought she couldn't take anymore she felt Will's hand reach out to cup her chin. He pushed up until she met his eyes, and then she realized just how close they were. "I didn't know, luv. I never thought..." And then he kissed her.

God! She had intended to kiss him. She hadn't been drunk that night. Spike still couldn't believe it. Even now with their lips pressed together and Buffy's sweet tongue exploring his mouth, he couldn't believe that this is what she'd wanted from him ten years ago. Bloody hell! She'd *intended* to kiss him that night.

Spike pulled away trying to control the raging lust coursing through him. They were in public after all. But he couldn't resist swooping down and giving her one last quick kiss before pulling away completely. "Come on, luv." He stood and then held out a hand to help her up as well. "Let's go ask about the parasailing. Once we're sure it's something that won't hurt your stitiches we'll try it, okay? I know how much you were looking forward to trying all the different activities here and I feel pretty bad that you can't. In fact, I feel horrible that you were hurt at all. I'm so sorry, luv." Okay, he was babbling. But his mind was still reeling from the revelations they'd shared, and his body was still spinning from having been so close to Buffy.

"Okay." Buffy followed happily beside him. He'd kissed her again! And the things he'd said, the way he'd felt about her all those years ago. God, she loved him.

***

Neither of them saw the figure shadowing them as they strolled across the beach toward the rental and activity huts. The figure stopped short, a sneer on his face, watching as they walked hand in hand. He'd seen them on the beach kissing. Seen how happy they'd been. It only made his sneer turn into a scowl. God, he hated that man.

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