The Surrogate


Chapter 20
By
Mercy

The Colour of Envy is Jealousy


Looking concerned, Buffy stared at the small patio table that she had just set for the friends that were expected for lunch. She had wanted to make today just perfect for everyone who had accepted her invitation to a late Saturday lunch. After much consideration, Buffy moved and shuffled cutlery around until there was a place setting for everyone. Spike watched her with a smirk on his face as she potted about the table, shaking his head at her efforts to make sure that everything was just right. He wanted today to go just as well as she did and maybe just that little bit more. Buffy wanted her friends to accept them and the baby so much, and Spike would do anything in his power to make her every wish and desire come true.

It had hurt Buffy deeply when her parents had believed Lily’s lies about her and Spike which led to their total rejection of their youngest daughter. Spike suspected that Buffy might not be able to cope with another rejection from the people she cared so much about. He would do anything in his power to make sure that they wouldn’t even think about hurting her. Even to the extent that Spike was willing to cop all the opposition from her friends that they threw his way. Yet something told him that her friends wouldn’t do that to her, but he would be ready anyway. Spike seriously doubted that no one would have accepted the invitation to lunch if they didn’t care about Buffy.

Buffy pulled one of the chairs away from the table and sat down just for a minute to rest her feet. She had experienced a restless night’s sleep after asking Spike to have her friends over for lunch. Thoughts had gone through her mind about first—whether people would come, and second—what their reaction would be when they saw Spike and her together. Buffy had learned not so long ago that Spike and the baby were her family, and that they were what matter most in the world. However, Buffy could not deny that she needed her friends as well. The biggest hurdle would be Xander. Buffy remembered his reaction to the news when she’d announced her pregnancy to her friends. She knew that Xander would probably resent Spike immensely for getting so involved with her. Xander had always hoped deep down that he and Buffy would become more than just friends despite all the years that Buffy had never shown any interest in him besides friendship.

“Hey Goldilocks.” Spike had quietly walked behind where she was sitting and placed his palms down on her shoulders. Gently he massaged Buffy’s tense muscles under his hands. “Don’t fret love, everything’s ready.”

“I know,” Buffy titled her head back, looking up at Spike,” I’m just worried about….I’m just being silly.”

“Worried about what, Buffy?”

“How they’ll take us as a family,” Buffy sighed as she pulled her head back. “It’s all happened so quickly, even I haven’t had time to catch my breath. So I doubt that they’ve had time get their heads around what’s happened. I’m worried that they’ll say something to you about us or me about the baby….”

“Buffy, they are your friends.” Spike ran a hand under her jaw from behind. “Do you really think that they would do that to you?”

“No, however I just can’t help but think that there might be some resentment.”

“From?” Spike looked intrigued at Buffy’s statement.

“Does it matter?” Buffy tried to smile as she looked up at him again. “It could just be one or all of them that decides that we weren’t meant to be together.”

“If he says one thing Buffy, then I’ll do anything that I can to protect you and the baby,” Spike tightened his hold on her shoulder and caressed her jaw. “He’s not an issue.”

“But Spike, Xander’s always hoped that I would want to be with him….” Buffy suddenly went quiet as the words slipped out of her mouth as she gave Spike the information that he wanted. “Spike, he took the news of the baby pretty badly.”

“Does he know that we’re together?” Spike icily asked. One thing he didn’t want today was to have any male trying to crowd him on his own turf. “That you’re my girl?”

“Unless Tara or Willow has told him, then no,” Buffy swallowed hard. “I’d only assumed that since I hadn’t heard from him that Xander knows everything about us.”

“If he doesn’t then Xander will by the end of the day.” Spike walked around the chair to hunch down onto his knees in front of Buffy.

“Maybe this was a bad idea?” The look of concern agonised over her face, making her wince as she tried to smile.

“I promise to let the boy down slowly and gently, Buffy.” Spike smiled reassuringly at her. “But I’m not having another man trying to claim what’s mine.”

Buffy slightly smirked at Spike’s possessiveness of her, it made her feel all loved, cherished and protected by the most important person in her life. Yet she didn’t want people who she desperately cared about at each others throats, nor did she want to ruin the day for her other friends. It had been so long since Buffy had seen Willow and Tara, which she knew had been reluctance on her part to get them caught up in the chaos that surrounded her. Buffy knew that once they were aware of all the facts, Willow and Tara would be devastated to know that she hadn’t turned to them for help. Something that she now regretted not doing—maybe this whole mess could have been easier to handle if she’d turned to her friends for help.

“Promise me that you’ll behave, Spike.” Buffy gathered both of his hands into hers and gently placed a kiss on each one. “Xander might not even feel anything like that for me anymore.”

“Do you remember that last Christmas we had at your folks and everyone was invited?” Spike looked lost in contemplation as his thoughts went back to that day. Buffy looked at him with a questioning look as she tried to recall the time he was talking about, and as she did nodded her head. “I remember the way he looked at you with a kind of lost look in his eye.”

“I never saw it…never.” Buffy took a slow breath in as she tried to remember that day, tried to think whether she could remember anything. “I can’t even remember him doing anything.”

“I do…because you were looking at me.” Spike’s eyes lit up and became hooded under his lashes as a sudden sharp shudder of desire flooded through him. “I didn’t even see it myself until I realised that you loved me from afar…”

“Then tread lightly Spike,” Buffy grip tightened on his hands as her voice became quiet and enveloped with emotion. “Because I know what it’s like to have unrequited love and it hurts so much. More than you’ll ever know.”

“I know love…I know,” Spike smiled at her. “I’ll try, but I have to make it clear that you’re mine now, and no one is taking that away from me.”

“No need to lay it on so thick Spike,” Buffy smiled. “I think that Xander will get the picture the minute he walks through the door.”

As if on cue, the doorbell chimed before either could continue with their conversation. Looking at Spike for just a moment, Buffy shrugged her shoulders and made her way into the house and to the front door with Spike not far behind. Opening the door to find Willow and Tara standing on the porch with a cooler in each of their hands, Buffy had the biggest grin that they’d ever seen on her face.

“Come in,” Buffy waved them inside the door and into the foyer. “We’re out back today.”

“Ladies, long time no see,” Spike nodded to the women as they walked through the door. “Let me take those for you.” He took each of the coolers and waited for them to pass him so that they could follow Buffy outside.

Both Willow and Tara just openly stared at the man who had claimed their friend for himself. They had met him before today, but that had been when he was with Lily. They looked at each other for a second with concern for their friend and found themselves feeling a little awkward around Spike. What do you say to someone that was once your friend’s brother-in-law and now the father of her child? What topics do you talk about? Do you ask what you’re really dying to ask…are you lovers yet? Are you going to stick around? What if….what if Lily comes back? What then? Too many questions and not enough answers would make anyone feel awkward, but Willow and Tara knew better than to mind their own business. Buffy would tell them when she was ready.

As they walked through the house, both noticed the subtle changes—new furniture that looked expensive and completed renovations that Buffy had always talked about but never got around to doing. Tara stopped to a dead halt in the kitchen, causing Willow bump into her back as Tara took in a deep breath and pointed to the large refrigerator door.

“Is that the baby?” Tara asked as she walked up to the refrigerator and ran her finger over the black and white ultrasound picture and the multicoloured 3-D image of the baby that were attached to the surface. “Isn’t she lov…lovely?”

“Or he,” Spike interjected, “we don’t know if it’s a girl or boy.”

“They couldn’t tell you?” Willow followed Tara to the pictures and smiled, amazed at the technological wonder that allowed her to look at her friend’s baby. Willow could feel her heart melt against any unresolved issues she had about Buffy and the baby. With all the warm fuzzy feelings Willow felt surrounding Buffy, she could tell that her friend and unborn baby were being well looked after and loved by Spike. Instincts screamed at her that all was well between the two of them; Willow couldn’t help but turn to Spike and beam with a smile towards him. “You’re a very lucky man, Spike.”

“I know.”

“Promise me that you’ll call us when she goes into labour,” Willow pointed her finger at Spike. “We’ll come and haunt the corridors with you while you wait.”

“No way,” Buffy huffed, “Spike’s got hand holding duty in the delivery room with me. No leaving me in there by myself.”

“I have no intention of doing so, love,” Spike walked past the women admiring the pictures of his unborn child and made his way to the back door, kicking it softly with his foot to swing it open.

“Spike, don’t kick the door.” Buffy yelled at him shaking her head and thinking ‘give me strength’ to herself. “He knows that annoys me.”

“He is a man. What else do you expect?” Willow laughed at her friends comments. “Sounds like you need to house train him some more. Maybe Lily didn’t do a good enough job?”

“Willow!” Shock covered Tara’s face at what she thought was an insensitive comment from her girlfriend. “Sensi..tivity…not.”

“It’s alright Tara,” Buffy smiled and closed her eyes with her lips pursed. “Lily’s done a lot worse than that to him.”

“Still, Lily’s probably a topic that you don’t want to talk about.” Willow looked down at the floor, regretful that she’d even made the wise crack about Buffy’s sister. “I’m sorry.”

“No biggie,” Buffy opened her eyes and feebly smiled. “I’m not really ready to talk to anyone about Lily. Please understand that there are still things happening between Lily, Spike and myself. I just want to survive Spike’s divorce and the birth.”

“We’re here for you. You know that don’t you?” Willow embraced her friend with a gentle hug. “You’re not in this alone. Buffy you can call us at anytime. Don’t carry this alone. It’s not good for you or the baby.”

“You can ring us, yell for us or at us,” Tara lay a hand over Buffy’s shoulder. “Anytime, any place.”

“I know,” Buffy felt at the guilt she had for not letting her friends in on what was going on in her life inundate her body. She became tense and disheartened at herself as she continued. “I know that I could have called you, but I needed to deal with things myself. Make my decisions without anyone interfering with them. Even if people thought that they were being helpful.”

“Buffy…” Willow felt bad that Buffy thought that they might have interfered with her life so much that she didn’t call them when she really needed someone. “I…”

“I’m not explaining myself properly,” Buffy sighed. Maybe lunch wasn’t such a good idea. “I meant that some people would have attempted to involve themselves more than others. Tara would have let me make up my own mind after listening to me all day. You, Willow, would have listened then advised me but still let me make my own mind up. But Xander….”

“Would have stuck his nose into everything,” Willow nodded her head as she considered what Buffy was saying. “Never would have left you, or Spike, alone to figure it out.”

“I trust you guys with what I tell you, but I know both of you to well,” Buffy smiled. “We can’t keep much from each other for long. Xander would have found out eventually, so I supposed it was easier just to deal with it by myself. The way I wanted to deal with it anyway.”

“And now?” Willow asked.

“I’m sorry about not being the friend that I should have been,” Buffy looked between Willow and Tara. “This is just so complicated, but I don’t want to be without you two anymore.”

“Now that’s what we want to hear,” Willow smiled. “That you can’t live without us.”

“Hey, what about me? Can’t live without me too I hope, pet.” Spike asked behind the screen door. “Can I get you two ladies a drink? Wine, beer or soda?”

“Wine for me,” Willow replied, “please.”

“Soda’s fine,” Tara turned towards the back door. “Do you want a hand?”

“I’m just firing up the barbeque,” Spike opened the back door for Tara as she pushed against the handle to open the door. “Maybe you could get some of the veggies ready for me?”

“Love to.”

Tara disappeared into the backyard with Spike, leaving the two other women alone in the kitchen. Willow moved away from her friend, walked around the island bench, and sat on one of the stools that rested in front of it. Buffy followed, lumbering up into the seat with as much grace that her advancing pregnancy would allow. A look of concern filled Willow’s face as she looked at Buffy’s swollen abdomen, and with a gentle hand she touched her friend’s arm.

“Can I feel the baby?” Willow asked.

“Of course,” Buffy lifted her shirt slightly and took Willow’s hand, laying it against her skin. “I don’t know if the baby’s going to kick.”

“Hello in there,” Willow rubbed her hand slightly against Buffy, “come say hello to your Aunty Willow.”

“I don’t…” Buffy stopped as she heard the doorbell ring. Looking awkwardly at Willow, she tried to smile as Willow removed her hand from her stomach. “Maybe we can try later to get bub to say hello. I better get the door.”

“Do you want me to get the door?” Willow looked towards the front of the house and back at Buffy. “I could have a talk with Xander to see what the lay of the land is.”

“No,” Buffy replied, “better that I just get this over and done with.”

“Buffy, maybe there’s nothing to worry about.” Willow took her friend’s hand. “Maybe you’re just too worried about nothing?”

“I don’t know. Xander wasn’t too happy the last time I saw him, when I told you all that I was pregnant. He went ballistic that I was carrying Spike’s child.”

The doorbell chimed again, this time in repeated repetition as if demanding to be answered and announcing the person at the door’s increasing displeasure at being kept waiting. With some reluctance, Buffy walked towards the front door with Willow not too far behind, ready to offer support if Xander was unfriendly.

“About time,” Xander spoke as the door opened. “I was thinking that I either had the wrong day or the wrong house.”

“Hey Xander,” Buffy pulled the door wide open so that he could walk through with the bag that he carried. “Come in.”

‘Thanks,” Xander walked past Buffy, his eyes fixated on her swollen abdomen. “Gee umm, you’ve gotten bigger.”

“Hello pregnant?” Buffy ran a hand over the baby. “Or haven’t you seen a woman carrying a baby before?”

“Buffy,” Xander shrugged his shoulders, “just stating the obvious.”

“Xander!” Willow nudged her friend in the arm. “I’m here too you know.”

“I know, I know,” Xander shrugged his shoulders again. “I saw you.”

“Okay, Xander we’re out in the backyard,” Buffy pointed towards the back of the house. “Spike’s getting the barbeque ready with Tara. They might want a hand.”

“So, you girls are doing what?” Xander pointed his finger between the two girls. “Maybe I could help you two?” It would seem that he was trying to avoid leaving his two friends.

“Nothing Xander,” Buffy rubbed her temple, “we were just having a quick catch up before we…”

“I was waiting for the baby to kick so that I could feel the baby move,” Willow interjected. “It won’t be long before the baby’s here, but I wanted to say a kind of hello to it. Maybe if you’re behaved, Buffy might let you say hello to the baby.”

“Hmm,” Xander looked quickly away from his friend not sure what to say.

“Buffy?” The conversation between the three was interrupted as Spike’s voice called out from the backyard. “Buffy?”

“I’d better go and see what mess he’s made,” Buffy looked awkwardly at Xander. “Are you coming out?”

“Of course he is,” Willow pulled at a reluctant Xander to get moving towards the back of the house. “Aren’t you Xander?”

Quietly as Willow could, she whispered to Xander to “behave himself or he’d have to answer to her and Tara.” Something that wasn’t missed by Buffy, who still stood by the front door as Willow led Xander down the hallway. Shaking her head, Buffy shut the door and quickly made her way back to where everyone was, ensuring that she wasn’t too far behind Willow and Xander.


~~~***~~~***~~~

Spike heard the backdoor swing open as he sparked the gas underneath the hotplate to a flame. He turned to watch as Buffy, Willow and Xander walked out the door. Turning down the flame, Spike walked over to the other male and offered his hand. With some reluctance, Xander weakly shook Spike’s hand who in retort grasped it tightly as they greeted each other.

“Good to see you could make it,” Spike weakly smiled towards the newest of guests. “How have you been? I think the last time I saw you was at Christmas?”

“Yeah, you were with your wife,” Xander smirked. “How is she? Your wife that is? Doesn’t seem that long since Christmas and how things have changed. You and Lily or should I say you and Buffy?”

“I wouldn’t know how my ex-wife is,” Spike turned back to the barbeque but didn’t miss the hushed bickering that started as soon as he turned his back to the others. He could hear the shocked ‘X-X-Xander!’ from Tara and the ‘Shut up!’ from Willow as she tried to get Xander to be silent. “Buffy is my business and for your information I haven’t talked to Lily except with lawyers present. I doubt that any conversation between Lily and myself would get to the pleasant chitchat level. Especially when Lily’s trying to strip-mine me of nearly everything I have.”

“I wouldn’t bl…” Xander was winded as Willow elbowed him in the side of his chest to keep him from talking. He began to cough as he tried to catch his breath. “Willow?”

“What Xander?” Willow smiled innocently as Spike turned around to look at him with small smirk on his face. “I was wondering how things were going with your latest girlfriend. I’m sure that Spike doesn’t want to talk about Lily.”

“I’m just making friendly conversation about Spike’s happy little family. This just happens to include our dearest friend and her brother-in-law being involved with each other.”

“Sounds more like the beginnings of an in…interrogation of Spike about Lily,” Tara spoke her mind. “Stop it Xander. Right now, before Buffy comes out or Willow and I will str-r-r-ing you up.”

“Can I do anything to help, Spike?” Willow tried to divert the conversation away from the current topic of discussion.

“It’s all under control,” Spike pointed the tongs he now had in his hand and snapped them together towards Xander. “Thank you ladies for coming to my defence, but I’m sure that he’ll behave himself. Won’t you?”

“I…” Xander was speechless, “I’m sure that steak will be fine.”

The door’s hinges creaked as Buffy pushed the screen door open and walked out with a bottle of soda in one hand. Everyone was silent as she made her way towards them, her shoulders hunched as she sensed the chill in the air between the two men. Lines furrowed her forehead as Buffy became frustrated that her fears about Xander making an issue of things seemed to have perpetuated themselves in her absence, as short as that had been. Buffy closed her eyes, extended her jaw slightly, tightening the skin along her cheeks and shook her head as disappointment and anger accumulated inside her.

“Hey Buffster,” Xander tried to appear cool and collected as he spoke with his friend. “How ya doing?”

“Love?” Spike took a step forward towards Buffy as his concern for her increased. With a sharp and sudden movement, Spike turned towards what he perceived to be the cause of her change in disposition.

“Alexander Harris,” Buffy sighed to herself as she still kept her eyes shut, refusing to open them to acknowledge him at all. “You haven’t been here five minutes and already I can feel the tension.”

“Tension? What tension, Buffy?” Xander leaned over his cooler and pulled back the cover to remove a beer. Pulling off the cap, he then took a large swig of the alcoholic beverage. “The only tension here is coming from Captain Peroxide. He’s been dodging every question or comment I’ve said to him.”

“You’ve been interrogating Spike since the very second you arrived!” Willow was losing her temper quickly with Xander. She’d never seen him like this before, ever. “We’re all here to have a nice lunch, not to be nosey and be rude to our friends, Xander.”

“Who said that he was ‘our’ friend?” Xander nodded towards Spike and this time Buffy did open her eyes as she watched one of her oldest and dearest friends reject the man she loved. “We hardly know the man, and what? Suddenly Spike’s our new bestest friend? I don’t think so.”

“Speak for yourself, Xander,” Willow turned on him. “He is Buffy’s choice and we’re her friends. Besides being her friends, Tara and I support her choice.”

“Even if it’s wrong?” Xander pleaded with the others to understand where he was coming from. “He’s her sister’s husband. He’s only with her because of the baby.”

At that outrageous statement, Buffy turned towards Xander and with an outstretched palm, connected her hand with his cheek. Buffy was visibly shaking as she pulled herself back slightly and Xander flinched and the beer he held onto was flung onto the grass below. Spike tore past the women as he made a beeline for the other male that had caused such an outrage to come from his girl. Buffy pulled on Spike’s shoulder just in time as he prepared to strike out blindly at the younger man.

“No Spike!” Buffy pleaded with him. “He’s not worth it. He’s just not worth it.”

Xander stood in front of everyone cradling his now reddened cheek with both his hands, and his eyes filled with confusion. His best friend was standing there, holding back the man that Xander had come to dislike and in some way kind of despise. Jealousy gripped him like a vice around his heart; he’d acted in the heat of the moment as anger coursed through his veins. Confusion penetrated his being as he’d expected Willow and Tara to voice their concerns along with his as they’d openly discussed the day before.

“Just don’t stand there Willow,” Xander’s eyes pleaded with his other best friend to back him up. “Tell her.”

“Tell her what?” Willow was just too stunned even think about what he was going on about. “What are you talking about?”

“Yesterday,” Xander’s voice trembled as he continued, “you, Tara and me. You know, at lunch, we decided that he wasn’t the best choice that Buffy had ever made.”

“Get out!” Buffy screamed at Xander. “Get out of my house.”

“No Xander,” Tara spoke quietly for herself and Willow. “You decided that Spike wasn’t the best decision Buffy had made.” Tara turned towards an outraged Buffy and just hoped that her friend could hear her plea inside the anger that shrouded her. “Willow and I were concerned that all of this had happened too fast, but you—you had already decided before you got here.”

“Spike,” Willow pleaded with him, “you have to understand that we were concerned for Buffy. You had only split up with Lily a few months ago and now Buffy’s pregnant with your child and you’re living together. We were just so concerned for Buffy and you may not believe us, but for you too.”

“Willow,” Xander looked at her with a deep look of betrayal in his eyes. “Why are you doing this? He has come in like he’s the King of Solomon and taken over her life.”

“Because your jealousy is going to destroy our friendship,” Willow looked at her friend. “Go home before you do anymore damage.”

“No more damage than he’s already done,” Xander pointed his finger at Spike. “He is poison Buffy, he’s rotten and evil.”

“The only evil thing I see around here is you Xander,” Buffy turned away from her friend and entwined herself around Spike’s body. “Please go.”

“Fine,” Xander picked up his cooler and walked around to the side gate that would lead him to the street. “Buffy, please…”

“Just go,” Buffy spoke just enough to let Xander hear her words, “you’re not welcome here any more, Xander.”

“Buffy, I…” Xander sputtered as he reeled against Buffy’s open rejection of him and shock that she would do this to him. “Willow…Tara? Come on people, we’ve been friends long before he came along.”

“He,” Buffy swallowed hard as she did what she had to do, “he is my partner, Xander. If you can’t accept him then you don’t accept me or the baby.”

“Buffy, he just left his wife, your sister!” Xander’s voice began to rise. “How can he go from your brother-in-law to partner so quickly?”

“I’m not going to explain that to you, Xander.” Buffy lifted her hand and pointed to the door. “I can’t help who I fall in love with or who I take as my lover. That’s my choice, not yours.”

“You’re lovers?” Xander’s mouth hung open in disbelief. “How could you?”

“Get out,” Spike quietly warned the other male. “The lady politely asked you to leave. Now I’m telling you to leave or I’ll tear you limb from limb.”

“Xander,” Tara spoke quietly to her friend,” please go. We’ll talk later.”

“Please, Xander.” Willow pleaded with him before the situation got any further out of hand. “This isn’t the time or place.”

“Are you going to stay after he’s spoken to me like that?” Xander demanded from Tara and Willow. “Well?”

“Yes I am,” Willow spoke softly after a small pause. “Buffy and Spike are my friends too, Xander. If you can’t behave like a friend, then I don’t know if I want to be—.”

“Will,” Tara spoke as she touched her partner’s arm. “Like you said, this isn’t the time or the place.” Turning to Xander she continued, “Go and we’ll talk later. We care about you too but you’re not thinking straight.”

“I…” Xander looked at his friends once more before he walked away from them. The group stood staring awkwardly into space as they silently listened to Xander slam the gate shut on his way out. The heavy thud of his feet echoed on the concrete path and finally the slamming of his car door shattered the heavy silence. Willow looked up as she heard the car take off. She held her gaze with Spike’s as she tried to awkwardly smile.

“Maybe we should go,” Tara spoke softly to her partner.

“Do you agree with him?” Buffy spat out at Tara and Willow. “Do you think that I made a bad decision?”

“Buffy,” Spike pulled her closer to him, “does it really matter what he thinks? Or what anyone thinks?”

“No Buffy, it shouldn’t matter what other people think,” Willow quietly spoke. “We—Tara and I—were concerned because we hadn’t heard from you since you announced your pregnancy. But honestly, since the minute we arrived we knew that Spike loves you and the baby very much.”

“We know that you made the right choice,” Tara added. “We both love you and the baby. Xander will get over it.”

“Xander’s jealous,” Willow tried to make excuses for him. “Jealous that you got Buffy, Spike. He’s been hoping for years that she’d finally be interested in him and then you sweep her off her feet in a few weeks. Something that Xander hasn’t been able to do ever, ergo his jealousy.”

“I know he is but it doesn’t excuse his behaviour,” Buffy sighed.

“No it doesn’t but,” Tara grabbed Willow’s arm, “we’re here and we’re with you one hundred percent.”

“I don’t want to come between you three,” Buffy took a deep breath. “Or have to make you choose me or Xander, because Spike’s part of the package now. Xander either grows up or he’ll get left behind.”

“Buffy, that’s a bit harsh don’t you think?” Willow asked her.

“After what I’ve been through lately, this is a picnic.” Buffy looked at Spike and then back at her two friends. “Xander’s been my friend for far too long to throw our friendship away like that. I only hope….”

“He’ll be back, Buffy, with his tail between his legs,” Tara whispered. “You know Xander, he always reacts before he thinks.”

“Yeah, opens mouth and inserts foot,” Willow laughed.

“I hope so Willow,” Buffy smiled at her, “I really hope so.”







 

Chapter 21:

Listen to Me

Buffy lifted the last plate from the kitchen counter and placed it into the dishwasher as she tried to keep herself balanced with her expanding waistline. Spike had his back to her as he cleaned the vegetable scraps from the island counter with a sly smile on his face. He turned around catching her by the waist, pulling her back towards him. Running his hands along her abdomen as Buffy pulled herself upright, she sighed as Spike encircled their child beneath his hands.

“Won’t be long now, love.” Spike nuzzled her neck with light nips of his teeth.

“Mmm,” Buffy softly acknowledged as she placed both hands over his, “I can’t wait.”

“Neither can I, love. Neither can I.” Spike pulled her closer against him for a few sounds in a loving hug. “Big day tomorrow. You should go to bed and get some rest.”

“Why?” Buffy pouted in disagreement.

”Because.” Spike gently nipped her shoulder.

“Why?” Buffy asked again as she shrugged him away from her body and turned around to face him.

“Because I said so.” Spike leaned over and took her hand within his own. “And because we’re going to have along day at the hospital tomorrow.”

“Spike,” Buffy’s voiced raised an octave higher as she uttered her discord, “I’m registering for the birth, not giving birth.”

“Still, a little more sleep might make…” Spikes attention broke as a sharp, quick knock on the front door stopped him mid sentence. Looking at the kitchen clock, he frowned at the late hour. “Who in their right mind knocks on someone’s door this time of bloody night?”

“Ignore it,” Buffy replied as Spike let her go and marched off in a huff towards the front of the house. “Spike, they’ll go away if we don’t answer.”

Buffy leaned back against the counter as she listened to Spike’s heavy footsteps against the hardwood of the floor. She sighed again as she could only imagine what reception the people that knocked where going to receive from a very annoyed Englishman. In some retrospect, Buffy hoped that it was not Xander, who had not been back since last weekend when he’d made am absolute idiot of himself. Buffy strained to hear who might have been at the front door as she heard it open on its metal hinges. She just heard Spike’s soft “bloody hell” as he found out exactly who was at the front door. Worriedly Buffy walked through the house towards the front door, her mouth fell open as she confronted the couple that stood on the threshold of the house.

Her mother and father.

“Mom,” Buffy whispered in shock at seeing them on her doorstep, “Dad.”

Her parents’ look of shock mirrored that of their daughter, they both stared at her swollen abdomen showing her advancing pregnancy. Her mother’s mouth hung open and her eyes widened at seeing for the first time the obvious state of her daughter’s condition. Her father’s posture stiffened as his glaring gaze moved back and forth from his daughter’s to his son in laws in somewhat anger. Spike looked like he wanted nothing more than to knock the look from his father in law’s face as he felt Buffy shudder against the intent look that her father was giving them.

“Buffy, aren’t you going to invite your mother and myself in?” Buffy’s father asked his daughter.

Buffy flinched at the commanding tone of his voice. “Come in.”

“Mr. and Mrs. Summers,” Spike spoke with his own warning laced intertwined in his tone as he opened the door further so that they could walk into the foyer of the house. “What a pleasant surprise,” he added sarcastically.

“William,” his father in law glared at him with hooded eyes that glazed with distrust and annoyance. “I would be lying if I said that it was pleasant to see you here in my daughter’s house.”

“Our house Dad,” Buffy spoke with a tone fortified with warning. “This house is his and mine.”

“That’s not what the deed says Buffy,” her father retaliated.

“Enough.” Buffy’s mother warned her husband, “Does it really matter Giles?”

“I…”

“I said ‘enough’” Buffy’s mothers pitch became incensed and intensified. “We agreed that we were coming to quietly discuss the situation. Not make their house a war zone.”

“But Joyce…”

“Giles haven’t we put our daughter through enough already,” Joyce spoke quietly and looked away from the younger couple her eyes glazed with tears and guilt. “Please don’t make things impossible even before we’ve walked through the door.”

“Mom,” Buffy took a step forward and taking her mother’s hand drew her across the threshold and into the house. “Come in,” she looked at her father with a hint of distrust and left him standing at the door. Too frightened to say something that she might later regret.

Spike watched as the two women walked past him and into the living room out of his peripheral vision. He looked at the older man with somewhat distain at way the father treated his own child. Never would he ever treat his own child in the same way no matter what the cause. If looks could kill, the man would not need a paramedic to revive him because there’d be nothing left to try and resuscitate.

“You get one warning, Mr. Summers. One warning only,” Spike spoke quietly as not to alert the women and to shelter Buffy from any further harm. “You do anything, and I mean anything to hurt her anymore than you have and I’ll rip your balls out and shove ‘em down your throat.”

“William, I am not here to do such a thing,” he replied to the threat from his son in law.

“Make sure that you don’t. You and your wife have made her suffer enough from not only your own hands but my ex as well.”

“You make us sounds like monsters, William.” Giles Summers almost looked like he was choking on his own words. “I doubt that we weren’t the only ones to cause my daughter… no both my daughters’ grief.”

“Right,” Spike’s mouth tightened as he gashed his teeth together pulling the skin on his face tight. “I admit that Buffy and I haven’t had an easy time at first. I never gave Lily any grief. You’d better get one thing straight it was Lily that was fucking around on me, not the other way round.”

“That’s what you say,” Giles pulled himself upright straightening his back as he unsuccessfully attempted to intimidate Spike.

“That’s what I say,” Spike spoke stiffly towards the other man.

“We will just have to see about that young man.”

“Spike?” Buffy’s voice interrupted the attempts of the men to out manoeuvre each other. “What are you talking about?”

“Nothin’ love,” Spike turned around with a soft smile of reassurance on his face. “Just making chitchat with your old man.”

“Yes my dear, just man talk,” Giles tried to make excuses.

“Just making sure that we understand each other,” Spike moved away from the door leaving the older man on the doorstep. “You’d better come in before I change my mind.”

“Thank you,” Giles spoke softly.

Spike turned around with a warning look covering his facial features, “Don’t thank me yet.”

Spike turned and made his way towards the two women that now sat on the sofa as they went back to their own quiet conversation. Buffy stop speaking as she noticed Spike taking a seat in the sofa that stood elongated to the right of the one she sat on with her mother. Her father sat down reluctantly next to his son in law, his body language stiff and unremitting as the tension in the room began to gather tempo. Joyce looked from her daughter to her husband, wanting to throttle him for the anger that seemed to pour out of him towards the young man seated next to him.

“I think that the first thing that I should say to both of you,” Joyce’s voice was quiet and shaking “Is that I’m sorry for all the heartache that I and your father have put you through. I know that it isn’t enough to just hear the words but I mean it.” She took her daughter’s hand in her own, “I’m sorry that I didn’t speak to you that day on the phone. I was still in shock from what Lily had said that you’d done.”

“Supposedly done,” Buffy voice was filled with sad remembrance. “You never even tried to listen to what I had to say.”

“I know,” Joyce’s eyes began to glisten with tears, “and for that I am truly sorry and ashamed of myself.”

“Your mother was just too upset to speak,” Giles interjected. “As far as we were concerned you’d stolen your sister’s husband and were pregnant to boot. It’s reasonable to assume that your mother was too upset to speak to you, Buffy.”

“What about how Buffy felt?” Spike spat towards his father in law as the situation surrounding all of them began to escalate quickly into treacherous waters. This wasn’t how he wanted things to go and not so devastating quickly as the Summers had only just walked in the door. “What about the pain it caused her? The misery that you inflicted onto your daughter?”

“Spike, I cannot imagine what pain my daughter went through,” Joyce’s tears finally fell upon her face. “Because of what we did. We should have listened to her side of the story.”

“Would you have believed me?” Buffy quietly asked her parents. “At least tell me the truth. I deserve that if anything.”

“I don’t know,” Joyce whispered, “Lily was very convincing about her story.”

“Lying scheming bitch,” Spike spoke under his breath yet not quite enough that his father in law didn’t hear it.

“And you are such the innocent man?” Giles got to his feet. “You marry one of my daughters and then you ‘shack up’ with my other daughter.”

“Dad!” Buffy jumped out of her seat as Spike stood up looking like he was about to take the head off her father. “Spike, stop it!”

“Yes I did marry your daughter.” Spike spoke his truth. “And, I married the wrong daughter.”

“Giles,” Joyce, shaking got to her feet and walked to her husband talking his hand in her own walked Giles back to where he’d gotten up. “Sit down.”

“We don’t know what happened between then and how much is true we won’t know unless we calmly talk about it.” Joyce spoke with a hushed tone.

“You should have been told all of the truth by Lily,” Spike sat back down next to a very quiet Buffy. “She promised to tell you everything. Not that her promise means anything.”

“Lily only told us the basics,” Joyce whispered. “That she’d lied about you, Buffy and the baby.”

“She should have told you all of it,” Spike frustrated ran his hand along his head and sighed. “All of the bloody truth.”

“Why would she?” Buffy quietly commented.

“Because I paid her enough to tell your folks the truth,” Spike spat out.

“Paid her?” Giles tried to understand what Spike actually meant and he implied about Lily. “What are you talking about?”

“Our divorce settlement,” Spike looked at his father in law, “Lily wanted nearly everything that I owned so that we can divorce because she knows how much I want the damn thing.”

“She’s entitled to something, Spike.” Joyce looked pleadingly at her son in law. “Despite everything.”

“Lily didn’t deserve everything that I and my family have worked for because she decided that I wasn’t worth it and buggered off with another man,” Spike spat out with distaste.


The sharp intake of horror by Buffy’s mother was overshadowed by Giles’s fist slamming down onto the sofa arm, both of them at odds with the reluctant truth. What they both perceived to believe as the loathsome truth as they both understood it, Joyce felt like her nerves were being grated over a gravel road jarring them into the reality that seemed to have made itself apparent by Spike’s mishandling of the truth. Giles Summer, head began to hammer with throbbing pain as he tried to process the alligations that William had laid against his eldest daughter. He closed his eyes to avoid the blue eyes that bore into his own with contention and disgust laid against his precious Lily.

“Mom…what did Lily say exactly?” Buffy tried to compose herself as she spoke to her mother. “I want you to repeat it down to every last sentence, word and syllable.”

“She just said that she’d left William because there was nothing left between them anymore,” Joyce looked away to the floor as she rung her hands together. “That William was bored with her and didn’t…you know…want her anymore,” her mothers face became redder as she continued. “He was far more interested in you instead of his own wife…that he’d become obsessed with you and the baby.”

“Obsessed?” Buffy questioned her mother’s story, “With me?”

“Yes, that you seemed to occupy every waking moment that William had and that he wasn’t interested in her anymore,” Joyce quickly looked at her daughter to see what kind of reaction Buffy had with what she’d just said. Not seeing any response Joyce continued with what she understood as the labyrinth of would be truths from Lily. “That you’d secretly agreed to get pregnant by him so that he could have and I’m using her exact words ‘his baby that I just couldn’t give him so that you could steal him away from me’.”

“That’s not true,” Buffy’s eyes welded with tears at the words that had erupted from her lying sister’s mouth that had vilified her to their mother.

“You’re pregnant Buffy,” Giles took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes. “Look like you could deliver any minute.”

“She changes her story to suit herself,” Spike shook his head as he become more confused trying to keep up the depth of the lies and deceit that his wife had plunged herself and them into. The truth had been twisted, unravelled and twisted again to suit Lily’s pervert truth in pursuing his money and causing as much destruction as she could between the fragments of the lives she left behind in her wake.

“You can’t deny that you only broke up a few months ago and Buffy looks more than a few months pregnant?” Joyce spoke quietly. “How else could she have become pregnant William if you weren’t sleeping with Buffy?”

“I was inseminated Mom,” Buffy whispered. “I had a piece of plastic inserted inside my womb delivering his seaman, not his dick.”

“Buffy!” Her father fiercely reacted at her choice of words.

“I don’t understand?” Joyce looked bewildered at her daughter’s words. “It’s to confusing.”

“I…I went to the doctors office and he…umm…he inseminated me,” Buffy floundered on her words. “I wanted to have…give Spike…”

“You wanted a baby so you got your sister’s husband to be the donor?” Giles spat out the distasteful accusation at his daughter. “If you where that desperate for a baby why couldn’t you find yourself a descent man and settle down?”

“It wasn’t like that!” Buffy got up and stood in front of her father with her voice raised in explicit anger and revulsion. “You aren’t listening to a word I have to say! Not a fucking single syllable that has come out of my mouth.”

“Buffy,” Joyce put her arm around her daughter trying to calm her down and offer her some degree of comfort. “Please sweetheart, it’s not good to get yourself all worked up in your state,” looking at her husband she managed to pull her distressed daughter back to the sofa. “Please Giles, don’t be so pigheaded. You’re putting to much strain on Buffy who is carrying our grandchild.”

“Would someone please explain this bloody mess to me then?” Giles looked at Spike with daggers in his gaze. “All I want is the truth.”

“Fine then,” Spike turned and grabbed his father in laws tie, “I’ll explain it to you in simple terms because that all you seem good at bloody understanding.” Pulling on the tie so that the older man’s face was as close as Spike wanted him to his own he continued. “Buffy saw how much I wanted a child with Lily and Lily’s fertility treatment wasn’t working at all…”

“Fertility?” Joyce’s mouth dropped in surprise, “She never said anything to me.”

“Because Lily said that she didn’t want to worry you,” Spike looked sympathetically at his mother in law. He’d always liked Joyce as she always wore her heart on her sleeve and had become the mother to him that he’d always wanted. Joyce had shown him more love and concern than his own mother had or could have, for that alone he would try to soften the truth as much as he could. “About her not being able to naturally conceive the baby we…I thought we both wanted.”

“She never said a word or even hinted…nothing,” Joyce looked devastated at Lily’s inability to confide the truth to her own mother. “I never knew.”

“You never were meant to,” Spike’s tone softened with regret vaguely laced in his words. “Finally after god knows how many attempts to get Lily pregnant, Buffy offered to be our surrogate. To give us the baby Lily couldn’t have despite everything we did and god knows we tried.”

“Oh my god,” Joyce slumped herself against the sofa in shock. “You agreed to be a surrogate?”

“Yes Mom,” Buffy swallowed deeply. “Just to be their surrogate so that they could have their baby and live happily ever after. All I wanted was to help them have a baby.”

“Ironically the day that Buffy found out that she was pregnant with our baby was the day that Lily left me,” Spike let out a sigh as the memory of that day burned through his mind. “All of her things were gone and all she left behind was a letter and her wedding band.”

“You said ‘our baby’” Giles quietly asked, “Who’s the biological mother?”

“I am,” Buffy answered her father with her head held high, “like I said they inseminated me with his sperm so it was my egg that was fertilised.”

“And you were just going to hand the baby over to them once it had been born?” her father asked.

“Yes,” Buffy closed her eyes as she answered, “That was the plan.”

“Why not just give the baby over to William when it was born?” Giles asked his daughter exasperatedly. “Why…why all of this? Why get involved with him?”

“Because he is baby’s father and Spike deserves to be involved with his child,” Buffy answered. “And because…” her silence was deafening to the truth that she hesitated to speak but Spike couldn’t help himself but fill her parents in what they truly felt for each other.

“Because I love her,” Spike spoke for her. “Just like Buffy loves me.”

“You love her,” Giles cynical laughter filled the room. “Do you fall in love as quickly as you fall out of it?”

“That’s low, even for you Dad,” Buffy spoke between gritted teeth.

“Is it?”

“Enough,” Spike let his father in law go by the tie and continued with what he was saying. “Buffy and I are in love with each other and with the baby on the way. That’s the simplistic truth that you both have to accept that I’m with you daughter for the long haul and like I told my folks…you either accept us the way things are or not at all.”

“The way things are?” Giles looked at Buffy accusingly, “Are you sleeping with him?”

“That’s none of your business,” Buffy told her father quietly.

“So you are?” Giles now looked angrily at Spike. “Couldn’t keep your mitts off her?”

“Like she said it’s none of your business whether she and I share the same bed or not,” Spike spat back at him.

“Buffy, is that how you want it to be between you and your parents?” Giles questioned his daughter. “We have to accept the fact that you’re pregnant with this man’s child and you’re having a sexual relationship with him no matter what you’re mother and I think?”

“Yes you do, because Spike has done the same for me with his family. It’s all three of us or nothing.”

“Buffy,” Joyce’s voice crackled with emotion. “Please.”

“No Mom,” Buffy looked at her mother with her worry and distress written all over her face. “Spike’s parents are getting the same thing as you. All three of us or nothing and they have accepted the facts as they are.”

“So much has happened Buffy. I don’t know what to think or feel,’ Joyce tried to keep control over her crumbling emotions. “I love both you and your sister and despite what horrible things she you’ve accused her of. I just can’t forget she’s my daughter.”

“I’m not Mom,” Buffy spoke quietly. “I’m not saying to choose between me and Lily. All I ask is that you try and understand what I’m going through.” She looked over to Spike as she continued. “Just to accept my decision about mine and my baby’s life. Be happy for me and your grandchild.”

“It’s just so much information to take in at once,” Joyce looked at her husband with hope in her eyes that he would stand by her next words to their daughter. “I think that your father and I need to go home and take all of this in. Let the dust settle and digest what you’ve said. Try to make sense of this whole mess.”

“Yes,” Giles looked directly into his fidgeting hands, “Joyce and I need to talk about what you’ve said and the ultimatum that you’ve given us.”

“There is no ultimatum, Mr Summers,” Spike spoke. “We just want you to accept the situation for what it is. You don’t have to choose between your daughters. All Buffy’s saying is that you have the choice whether you participate in our family’s life and in doing that your grandchild’s.”

“I see,” Giles swallowed hard. “It still recks of an ultimatum to me.”

“Giles, enough,” Joyce warned her husband. “I think that enough hurtful words have been said. I think that it’s time that we went.”

“Yes my dear,” Giles stood up and went to his wife holding out his hand to help her to her feet. “I think that your mother is right.”

“So do I,” Spike looked grimly at his father in law. “Buffy needs to rest.”

“Please don’t take anything I said the wrong way, Mom,” Buffy got up as her mother stood up and turned to hug her. “I love you and Dad.”

“I know, dear. I know,” Joyce returned to gentle hug with one of her own. “I’ll call you soon.”

“Please do, Mom,” Buffy let her go and embraced her father. “Please don’t be angry, Dad. I love you both, but I also love William and our baby.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Giles brow furrowed together at all the jumbled thoughts and memories came flooding together like the pieces of a puzzle. Truth recked from the distasteful taste of reality in his mouth emanating from the lies and half-truths that his other daughter had spewed out about Buffy. “I know that there are some facts that can’t be dismissed about Lily but it’s just too hard to imagine that one sibling would do that to another. I don’t know…I just don’t know.”

“Then can I suggest that you go home and think about it before we take this any further.” He watched as Giles nodded his head in silent agreement whilst he contemplated his own thoughts and words to his daughter. Spike moved away from her parents and moved towards the front door. “I’ll see you both out.”

Joyce turned back to her daughter and sighed, “Don’t you ever think that I or your father don’t love you. It’s just been to…” Her lose of words played upon her face as she was too frightened to say the wrong thing and if anything to say anything at all. The relationship between child and parent was just too fragile now to risk damaging it any further.

“I know Mom. I know,” Buffy tried to smile but all that showed was a strained thin lip between her cheeks. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Night sweetheart,” Joyce said her farewells as she walked through the front door to the outside.

“Buffy,” Giles looked sombre in the revelation of truths that had taken place between all of them tonight. “I’m sorry…so sorry that we…what I’ve put you through. We didn’t know but you have to see it from our perspective. It’s a shock to learn that not only how the baby was conceived but you’re also sleeping with this…this man.”

“Dad, William’s been here for me from day one no matter what you’re thinking at the moment. He’s been here for me and the baby. I love him so much that it hurts my insides and the idea that not being close to William makes me shudder.” Buffy spoke confidently drawing from her confidence and love for the man that stood before her. “But I also need you and Mom to be here for me too. Please Dad, try to understand.”

“I’ll try, Buffy,” Giles exhaled, “I’ll try.”

“That’s all I ask,” Buffy pleaded with her father.

“I’d better be going before you’re mother starts to worry where I am,” Giles nodded his head in farewell and walked out the door.

“Bloody hell,” Spike closed the door with a soft thud and twisted the lock.

“You can say that again.” Buffy walked back to the sofa and sat back down.

“Went well don’t you think?” Spike walked back to her and sat next to her. “Think they’ll come around, love?”

“I don’t know. I just don’t know.”

“They’ll see the truth, love.” Spike swung his arm around her in an embrace. “If not we’ll make them see it so it’s as plain to them as the time of day.”

“Lily really did a number on them,” Buffy sighed.

“Yeap,” Spike played with a lock of her hair. “Couldn’t even tell them the whole bloody truth. Not to worry, love.”

“I know,” Buffy smiled in vain hope of trying to appear vaguely happy. “At least they finally got to hear what I had to say.”

“The truth, love,” Spike leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. “If they don’t want to believe the truth than that’s their problem, ‘aint it?”

“I suppose,” Buffy struggled to suppress the yawn that came from her now tired body. She was tired and exhausted from all the emotional conflict that had been going on inside of her during her parents visit. “I’m tired.”

“I know, love. Go to bed I’ll be up soon.”

“No,” Buffy pouted at him. “I’m going to my bed and you can have the spare.”

“What! No way!” Spike pulled back from her in shock. “You and I are going to share the same bed, thank you. I’m not going to be kick out of our bed because they disapprove.”

“But…”

“No butts about it.”

“I’m kidding as if I’d let you ever sleep alone with out me,” Buffy pocked him in the ribs. “Had you going there didn’t I?”

“Right,” Spike looked menacingly disparaged at her. “Don’t ever do that again.”

“What?” Buffy looked innocently at him. “What?”