***Chapter Five***

**First Damage**

Buffy twitched and swiped her nose, some annoying 'thingy' kept brushing the tip, and all she wanted to do was sleep. . It wouldn't relent in its persistence of irritating the crap out of her, she waited for the right moment, and pounced. Grabbing what she thought was an insect, Buffy squashed Spike's fingers, he yelped in agony, as he felt the bones break.

"Bloody hell Slayer! Why'd you have to go do that?"

"Oops!"

"Oops!!" Spike cradled his hand against his chest, as he tried to assess the damage. "Is that all you can say! You've broken my bloody hand!"

"At least it wasn't the nose Spike!" Buffy tried not to laugh too hard at Spike's dilemma, she knew deep down he wanted a little sympathy, and if she knew him right, something else as well. She could break his back, and he'd still want you to go right ahead and climb on top. His hunger was always intense, never satisfied. He was like a child with candy, they always want more!

"You and my bloody nose! God sometimes you'd think I was walking around with a bullseye on it!"

"Hmmmm...Anyway I'm sorry Spike, are you alright? I thought it was a fly or something. I forgot where we were for a moment, I thought we were back...back"

"Home luv?"

"Yeah. Reality sucks!!"

"It has its advantages sometimes though!" Tilting his head towards the mirror with a slight smirk on his face, "Want another round luv?"

"Is that all you think about?"

"As far as you're concerned, sometimes yes!" Spike leant over to her and lightly kissed her on her mouth, "But most of the time lately, no. Things are different now, things have changed Buffy, and so have I."

"If anyone knows that, it's me! Both of us have changed my love, both of us. I think we're more than we were ever meant to be?"

A slight breeze moved through the cavern, disturbing the gossamer curtain that shielded them from the rest of the cave. It fluttered in the wind, slightly parting, drawing their attention to outside of the bedroom. The light emanating from the white moth like balls intensified, and brightened the rooms within. It looked like their wake up call had been delivered.

"Looks like we have to skip the morn'in exercise routine."

Spike stated the obvious, pulling off the covers of the bed, and dressing in his old clothes. Buffy quickly scooted out the other side and drew on her clothing, joining Spike at the edge of the curtain. Parting it, she moved into the main room of the cavern, with Spike a step behind her. Looking around there was no one there, only shadows cast by the two of them and the furniture in the room. The breeze whirled around them, gently whispering around their clothing and hair. Pulling it back into place, Buffy could feel the hair on the back of her neck raise and stand on end, her arms goose bumped as her Slayer instincts cut in. She could feel the presence of something in the room, and whatever it was, it wasn't corporeal yet. Spike looked at Buffy, his vamp senses firing in all directions, he couldn't locate what was in the room, it was all around them, everywhere but nowhere at the same time.

" Bleedin hell Buffy! What is it?" Spike moved as closely as he could to her, ready to protect them from whatever presence was there. The sensation of the entity was creating havoc with his mind, he felt the impending darkness overshadow him. An intense pain filled his mind, incapacitating the vampire, as he fell to his knees; it was more intense than any pain the chip had given him over the years. Buffy went to his aid, trying to stop him from falling to the ground, laying him down gently as she could on the floor. The wind around her picked up with intensity, it swirled wildly around the two, it did not disturb anything else in the room. Buffy felt the bile rise in her throat, as she saw the rising of the presence taking form before her. She tried to shield her lover from the creature in front of her.

The First Slayer.

"Stop your games! NOW!"

"Games Slayer! You play games!" The First Slayer pointed towards the vampire. "You play games with your enemy!"

"What would you know? Who the fuck do you think you are?"

"I am the First. I am the beginning. I am the end."

"No I am the end! The end of the line! I am one but I am many."

"Now who speaks in riddles Slayer." The First Slayer looked unsure of the woman in front of her.

"Riddles are your game, not mine! Mine is to fight, to win and to live"

"Fight, yes! Death is your gift!"

"No death is your gift. You see I finally worked you people out, death is your gift. Death to the Slayer! Death to everyone you have enslaved over the generations, to fight your fight. It's different now. Now I am the Bringer of Death. Now I control the Slayer Line, I am the First Slayer! Not you! I am the beginning now, and I will be the last! I am one, but now I have many. Many generations of Slayers are one, united and they are mine. I am one but I am many!" Buffy spewed her speech forth, from somewhere deep inside her came the words, from where she didn't know, but out they came with such force that the First Slayer retreated, turning to dust that disappeared on the retreating wind.

"We are the Bringers of Death....." The voice of The First echoed off the walls in a whisper.

Turning her attention back to Spike, she gently touched his face trying to rouse him from unconsciousness, his cheek muscle twitched, bounding out of control. His face twisted in agony, even in this state he was experiencing immeasurable pain, and he wasn't responding to her touches. Pulling his head into her lap, she bent her head down upon his, her tears forming and falling down onto his face. She didn't know what to do. For the first time in an eternity, she felt hopeless.

"Let him go!" Buffy screamed at the top of her lungs. Her voice bounced off the walls of the cavern and echoed in the room, it intensified in pitch, and pierced her ears as her words were thrown back at her.

****************************************************************

Resting on the bed in the cave, Spike slowly opened one eye, the pain in his head had somewhat subsided, but had not dissipated. A sleeping Buffy lay by his side, her eyes shadowed by circles of worry, and her forehead tightened in anguish. He felt like someone had scraped out his brain, and scoop by scoop had put it back, and had forgotten to turn off the jackhammer in his head. He tried to move his head a fraction, but it only intensified the pain ricocheting in the base of his skull, and made him even more nauseated than he already felt.

He lifted his hand to her face with all the energy he could muster, brushing aside a stray clump of hair from her face with his hand. A parched voice squeaked out of him.

"Buffy."

Immediately she opened her eyes and sat up, knocking him in the head with her arms flying in all directions. His scream of agony was enough to make her cringe again deep down inside her being.

"Spike, I'm sorry! Are you okay? What happened?" Buffy quietly asked the man that lay in her arms, silently and so still.

"I don't know luv. But I've got a killer of a headache! Wouldn't have an aspirin on you would you?" Spike tried to smile, but his whole face ached in pain.

"No, but I'll try and make it better." Buffy tenderly brushed his temples with light kisses, and soothing brushes of her hands. She lay back down beside him, cradling him in her arms. Trying to relieve some of his pain with just her presence. Spike closed his eyes, he just wished for the pain to go, he felt like he'd done ten rounds with a thousand legions of the First.

"What happened while I was having a little beauty sleep?"

"The First Slayer decided to make her presence known."

"The First? I though we annihilated them?"

"No Spike, The First Slayer....you know girl, with bad hair and teeth, happens to be the first slayer." Buffy tried to explain to Spike the difference, obviously his hearing was being affected, or maybe it was just his usual fuzzy logic brain.

"The First Slayer, here?"

"Wow you really went down for the count!"

"Yeah, feels like someone turned out all the lights with a baseball bat."

"Maybe you should try and sleep. Try to rest, and get your vamp strength back....I mean we haven't had much sleep."

"No pet, you sucked all the energy out of me" Spike tried to make light of the situation, "Buffy could you please get me something to eat, I'm famished."

Buffy complied with his request, leaving the bed, pushing the curtain aside she went to the table which they'd seen earlier, she retrieved a glass with a knife. Making her way to the darkened alcove, she took the glass and half filled it with the dark fluid. Taking the knife to her hand, she skilfully slit a cut to her wrist, she let the blood flow, filling the glass. Returning to him, she offered it to him, he could do nothing but stare at her with a deep gratitude in his eyes as he took the glass, drinking deeply from it until no fluid remained. His words, a silent whisper echoed through the room.

"Thank you."

"Sleep Spike." Her words resonated though the room, she returned to him on the bed, and closed her eyes. Her mind was not so silent, as it tried to understand her meeting with the First Slayer. None of it made sense, if anything the overwhelming feeling of dread further penetrated her being, petrifying her soul. Her little speech also caused her great concern, she didn't know where that little melody came from, or what it meant yet. The fact that they were here at all still baffled her, they should have died on the Hell Mouth. None of it made sense, none of it at all.

The fact that this was the birthplace of the Slayer Line was enough to have her worried, but then there was the second fact that The First Slayer was here, despite her last visit of wiping out what she called the 'Three Wise Men' . What caused her the most concern was that Spike was here. Full stop Did he yet have a role to play in this? The bigger question as far as he was concerned was what was it? What vital role did he have to play in the scheme of things to come? Watching him as he lay in his quiet slumber, Buffy remembered parts of him from her life before, that had lead them to here and now.

The day he trashed the high school with his minions, and tried to annihilate her in the hallway with his bare hands. The time he came back and took Willow and Xander hostage, so he could get Dru back. Buffy smirked at that memory, running her hand down his hair, feeling it curl under her fingers, it had taken a spell for her to welcome his kiss and embrace, despite them their mutual hate. A sad smile filled Buffy's mouth, as she remembered the last two years, coming back from paradise, only to be reborn into a lost self, lonely and fragmented. Self-inflicting pain upon herself, using him as the instrument to exact punishment, causing so much damage in her wake, to herself and him.

She tried to remember that he'd caused some of the damage, both to her, and to himself. He'd just been doing it for so much longer to himself. His continual feeble attempts to impress her had always backfired in his face. He'd begged her even for a crumb of affection, or what he'd thought was affections, and she'd given it to him last year. That night in the abandoned house had changed everything between them forever, she'd opened the door and let him in. Allowing an obsession to grow into insanity, that had resulted in that incident in the bathroom, as it consumed him, and created the most damage between them.

Even through all their mistakes, and self-inflicted punishments, they had risen above them to this point. Looking at him now, who would have believed that she would have finally accepted him? In a way she was bound to him. The amulet had let her see that, their 'joining' she supposed she could call it, had revealed more of him to her than any other time, she knew all of him, every molecule. He had become more than just the vampire she knew, but could she become whatever she was meant to be now she wasn't the only Slayer?

This weighted heavily in her mind as she closed her eyes, and allowed the relief of slumber to overtake her.

***Chapter Six***

**Damage Lost**

Dawn, Willow and Xander stood upon the scorched earth where Sunnydale once stood. All that remained was a large sand pit. The Hell Mouth had sealed over, causing the collapse of the town, destroying everything that had once stood there, Sunnydale had turned into Sunnybowl. Willow had tried every spell she could think of, and every one she could find to try and locate the remains of their friend. She'd even tried to find Spike, with no success, there were just no remains to be found. To Xander's somewhat relief they had found Anya, but why they couldn't find the other two, Willow just had no answers.

"She's gotta be here Willow, she just has to be!" Dawn was inconsolable. "Try again, please!"

"I've tried everything I can think of Dawnie, she's not here, and I done every spell three times. They aren't here." Willow's voice cracked with emotion, she felt totally defeated.

"Could she be like last time, you know, in heaven or something?" Xander asked the Wicca.

"I don't know? Maybe. I need to go do some more research, maybe I missed something...maybe...I could look elsewhere for more powerful stuff?" Willow offered the younger girl.

"No!!" the words from Dawn's mouth came resoundingly through, "I'm not risking you going all 'Evil Willow" on us again!"

"Dawn!" Xander tried to calm down the girl, "You know she wouldn't do that!"

"Thanks Xander for your vote of confidence, but the issues still remain. What happened to them?" Willow softly spoke her friends.

"Willow I don't understand, how come you found Anya, but not Buffy? I mean 'Captain Peroxide' I can understand..like hello he was ummmm...'dead' for want of a better word. But why not her? She was human....wasn't she?" Xander questioned Willow.

"Of course she was human! You are such a...a....." Dawn was just getting more infuriated with Xander.

"Hey Dawnie, only asking! I'm sorry, but it's a question that we need to be sure on, okay?" Xander just kept opening his mouth and shoving his foot further in.

"Xander just shut it!" Willow finally told him to keep quiet.

"Okay, so we can find Anya but not Buffy, there has to be a reason, and we need to find out why. And at this stage I can only think of one person" Willow crossed her arms in a defensive mode. It was clear to all, who it was and none of them relished that person.

Angel.

************************************************

Spike woke with the pain in his head now just resembling a soft thud, it pounded deep within his skull. Running his hand over the bed, he found an empty space, lifting his head, he spotted Buffy gathering water from the pool into a large jug. Turning his head to the other side of the room, he could see that she had been preparing some kind of meal for herself, with more than enough to spare.

"Planning on feeding me luv?" Spike asked Buffy's back.

"No, its first in first served here, mister! No room service!" Buffy comically returned to his earlier joke about wishing for room service, "It's self serve only." Buffy walked over to the table, resting the jug on it, and returned to Spike, lying on the bed next to him. "But for you we have a special offer, one night only."

"Only one night! You disappoint sweet. I would have thought at least all eternity, as my willing slave!" Spike volleyed back to her, pulling her back into a tight embrace.

"Hang on, I thought that was your line?" Buffy gave him a quick kiss on the lips, and broke away from him. Spike's bottom lip dropped as far as it would go, with a 'hurt puppy' look. Getting up she made her way back to the table, pulling out a glass, and holding it up, "You hungry?"

"I thought we had no room service?"

"Spike!" Buffy moved closer to the curtain that separated the room. "Yes or no?"

"Yeah, please! O neg, be nice sweetheart!"

Spike could hear Buffy mumble under her breath, something about 'I'll give you O!' but kept himself quiet. She once again went to the pool around the crevasse, and filled the glass again with the fluid that flowed in it, turning her nose up at the smell, it wasn't bad, but she'd smelt enough of it to last a decade. Wrinkling her nose she returned to him, holding her hand out to give it to him. As he downed the drink, she went about having her own meal, eating at the table provided, as Spike slowly got out of the bed wrapping a sheet around him. He joined her, sitting in the other chair, next to her own.

"Think we should talk?" Spike looked around him, as if looking for electronic bugs, picking at Buffy's food as he went about it.

"Here? I suppose. It would seem that they could come and go as they please, so I reckon that outside would be no different."

"What happened Buffy, while I was out?"

"In five words or less?" Buffy asked with a smile on her face.

"Hummft!?!" Spike coughed at the memory.

"The. First. Slayer. Was. Here." Buffy replied.

"You forgot 'Bitch', but then again that would make six."

"Hmmmmm, what about six words or less then?" Buffy laughed, "The. First. Slayer. Was. Here. Bitch."

"What she want?"

"Something about her being 'the first and the last'?" Buffy recited the First slayers words, "Then I blurted something like I was the Last of the Slayer Line, and I was the beginning' and 'I am one, but now I have many'".

"Okay, sounds good, but what in the hell do you mean?"

"I have absolutely no idea, but I'm sure that's what we're here for." Buffy finished her plate of food, licking her fingers, drying them off on the tablecloth.

"Buffy! Manners! You're mum would be horrified!" Spike laughed at her.

"Yep she would, but she isn't here is she!"

"If she only knew what her little girl was up to these days!" Spike's eyes sparkled in the low light of the room.

"Yeah she would, but could she blame me, with such a specimen of manhood before me!"

"Specimen of manhood!" Spike's laughter echoed in the chamber.

"Well vampire hood then! Whatever!" Buffy poked him in the ribs, much to his slight twinge of pain, "Does it still hurt?"

"No, just a little"

"Good, cause it's time for some physical therapy!" Buffy moved from her chair to sit in front of his, looking at him with desire filling her eyes.

"You're insatiable you know!'

"Always where you're concerned! And you need the exercise!" Buffy said as she ran her hand down his leg. "Okay so now it's exercise?"

***********************************

"Bloody hell Buffy. You're gonna kill me one of these days!" Spike told her, as they came down from their high.

"Hey!" Buffy playfully slapped his chest, "Just making up for lost time!"

"Lost....." Spike was cut off, with the appearance of a light breeze in the cavern.

"Here we go again!" Buffy climbed off Spike, grabbing her chemise and putting it on as quickly as she could, looking worriedly at Spike. Waiting for him to fall to the floor in agony again, she waited and waited.

But nothing happened.

Spike grabbed the sheet that lay around his hips, and pulled it around him the best he could. Watching and waiting like Buffy was, but no blinding pain penetrated his brain, no blackness over shadowed his brain, he stood up from the chair. Looking around the room, he waited for this 'First slayer' to appear, but to no avail, nothing appeared, nothing.

"What do you think luv?"

"I don't know Spike."

The balls began to lighten up, a few even more than the rest, most lay on the outside border of the room, illuminating the walls. The breeze picked up to a wind that whirled in the middle of the cavern, knocking things over in its wake. A bright light emanated from the middle of the room, over shadowing anything that gave out light, it was so bright it was blinding.

What ever it was it wasn't the First Slayer that was for sure.

End of Chapter Six.........more to come......please review....makes me write faster!!!

A/N*** Please note that this chapter has been edited in respect of the rules of ff.net

***Chapter Seven***

**Light of Damage**

The room filled with such an immense light, that it was blinding for both of them, the warmth and energy that the entity was pouring out, diffusing itself through every cell of their bodies, dead or otherwise. It sizzled along every nerve ending, sending intense tingling sensations down every ganglion, making each cell fire onto the next, stronger with each pulse, until causing an immense feeling of heat along their bodies. It wasn't painful, but it certainly portrayed the capability of the entity, that now inhabited the cavern. It was over in a matter of seconds, but it took longer for the Slayer and vampire to recover, the light had effect their eyesight, temporarily blinding them, with its intensity.

Buffy's sight had become hazy, as if looking through opaque glass. She could see shadows, some depth perception, but nothing too clearly. It was if her iris had been fully opened, and she couldn't focus on what was in front of her. Despite this incapacity, she could make out that the light entity was shifting, changing, and dimming in intensity. For want of a better description, taking on corporeal shape, even if for her, it was a long elongated blob of something, it was shifting its shape and becoming something. 'It' moved out of her sight and deeper into the cavern, moving around to one of the crevasses, hiding out of sight.

Her vision slowly returned to normal, as she was made aware that the light balls had dimmed, to the extent that they let out only a small amount of light. She could barely make out Spike, who stood next to her, still only clad in the sheet, he now had on his game face. He was looking directly in front of them, his gold eyes focused and glaring, his head cocked to the side, as if trying to make sense of what he saw. Buffy could only assume, that due to the low visibility of the room, his vamp sight allowed him to see more than her.

"What's going on?" Buffy sought out Spike, grabbing hold of his arm, trying to find an anchor in this madness. "What do you see?"

"A woman I think?" Spike shook his head, "I'm not exactly sure? I think it was a woman?"

"Did she have the bad hair, teeth, and look 'Slayerish' at all?"

"Nope. No 'Slayer' warning bells going off here." Spike continued to scan the cavern, trying to get another glimpse of the woman/entity, "Come out. Come out, wherever you are!"

"Spike!!" Buffy slapped him on the arm, "Don't play games!"

"Hey! Innocent party here!"

"Then be a good vamp and behave!"

Around them a slight breeze whirled, from the depth of the cavern a single shadow appeared, humanoid in shape, moving directly into their path. They didn't have long to wait for the visitor to make herself known. Before them came what indeed looked like a human female, approximately 5' 9", slim in build, flowing brown straight hair, with eyes of brown encased with a blazing rings of gold. Dressed in a red robe that flowed out in the breeze, it was almost medieval in appearance, gathered at the waist and belling out in the skirt, a corset type top, with long triangular draping sleeves.

"Your lady speaks fine words Vampire!" The words of the woman before them echoed off the cavern walls, blasting a wind through the two that stood before her. They carried the weight of her power within them. "You must learn some patience it would seem."

"Hey look here, whatever you are...." Spike took a step forward, but was stopped by Buffy's arm reaching out and halting his progress. He turned looking at her, seeing the caution written all over her face, he stopped and stood back.

"Okay pleasantries over. Who are you and what do you want?" Buffy asked the woman before them, she was not in the mood for games, she'd had enough of them already with the First Slayer.

"So Slayer, it would appear that patience is something you humans still have yet to learn? Have your kind changed at all?"

"Our kind?" Buffy was slightly confused at the females' line of questioning.

"Human." Spike whispered to her.

"Well I didn't think she was talking about fashion Spike!" Buffy took a few steps forward, looking over the form before her, trying to sum up what stood before her. "Well, do I have to put it in some other words for you? Who are you? What do you want?"

"What do I want?.....................All in good time Slayer. All in good time." the female moved closer, "I am what was, and will be what is."

"Do you come with a thesaurus? Because you're not making much sense, but then again do any of you like making sense?" Buffy asked.

"No luv, they just love keeping us in the dark." Spike moved behind Buffy, guarding her with a wary eye.

"Why with all the riddles? Can't you just spell it out? Plain and simple?" Buffy was getting rather irate.

"Patience!!" the female spoke towards the girl.

"I don't have any!! I just want some answers!" Buffy was on the brink of exploding, and consequences be damned.

"Granted this is a delicate time, I will forgive your behaviour." The woman moved towards the tables and chairs, "Sit and I will tell you what I can. For now at least."

Buffy stood where she was, refusing to budge an inch, she was sick of the games, sick of them playing with her mind. Spike felt her hesitancy, he gingerly gestured with a hand behind her back, to move to the table, "Go on luv" was whispered in such silence that she barely heard it. With some reluctance she moved to one of the chairs and sat, as Spike moved to the bedroom to retrieve some clothes.

The female moved to the opposite side of the table and sat, looking around at the environment that surrounded her. With a hand she picked up and arranged some of the glasses that had fallen over with her arrival, putting them into a neat line. The rings of her eyes blazed in intensity, as they finally rested on Buffy and Spike as he sat down, her gaze was that of a hunter seeking its quarry. It was something similar to what she'd seen inn many a vampire's eye as they sought out their 'Happy Meals on legs', as Spike had once so eloquently put it.

"Who are you?" Buffy finally asked of the woman at the table.

"I am what was, and what will be."

"Not good enough!" Buffy shifted in her chair, "Lets start again. Do you have a name at least?"

"Yes I have a name, but to your kind it is not known, it is unspoken, and silent."

"Not making much sense lady!!" Spike entered the conversation.

"Very well!" The being knocked over a glass with her finger, her irritation obvious to all, "I have been amongst your kind before, I was named 'Gemma', by a child I sought once."

"So we have a name. What about the rest of it?" Buffy asked her.

"The rest?"

"The little line about 'I am what was, and what will be'? Nice little number, but what's that supposed to mean?" Buffy continued.

"I am the beginning now, and I will be the last! I am one, but now I have many." Buffy's voice resinated out of the woman's mouth, each syllable and sound wave identical to her own voice, copied in exact pitch and form, "They mean the same, they are intertwined, they are what we are and what we will be." Gemma's voice speech returned.

"Bloody hell woman! No more fucking riddles!" Spike was lost in the middle of it all.

"I don't get it." Buffy couldn't believe what was happening, it was like being used as a pawn in a game she didn't understand.

"You will Slayer, you will. Our paths are connected and crossed, we are one but we are many. It will be come clearer as time passes, and you find your destiny."

"What path? What bloody destiny? She fulfilled her destiny, she killed the First and stopped all the apocalypses you could put in front of her. What more do you bloody want from her?" Spike piped up, he'd seen Buffy fight her war for seven long hard years, and it wasn't over. Would it ever be over, he wanted more than anything for her, for them, to have some life, if you could call it that.

"To take her rightful place" Gemma looked directly at Buffy.

"As the First Slayer."

***Chapter Eight ***

** Damaged Race**

"NO" Buffy screamed, "NEVER!!"

"You don't seem to comprehend what I am saying." Gemma's eyes fired pure gold in anger.

"You don't seem to understand the word no!"

"It isn't what you seem to think it is." Gemma warned the woman before her.

"Do you think that I will let you make me into that thing you call the First Slayer! Let you make me into a 'thing'?" Buffy stood in a classic defence mode.

"I'd like to see her try Buffy!" Spike's voice came from behind her, backing her in any course of action she choose.

"You are The Chosen One! You have exceeded what you were meant to be! You are the First Slayer whether you like it or not!"

"I am not the First Slayer!'

"You are the beginning now, and the last! You are one, but now you have many." Gemma recited her words back to her again, "You Humans rely too much on words and their literal meanings. I would have thought that the last few days would have helped you move beyond that hindrance." Gemma gestured with her hands towards the vampire.

"Meaning??" Buffy asked the being.

"You have seen beyond the internal demon, and found the spirit that lies inside. You have seen beyond the darkness that lies within, and learned that despite everything it can love and feel. You are moving beyond any damage that it may have inflicted on you, and you on it."

"Hey, 'it' has a name you know!" Spike spoke quietly.

"Yes I know that, but it is not that simple. Buffy you must move further than you have, a hard task lies before you, and you will require help. Help of a true Champion, one who will fight with, and for you, but one that you must totally accept."

"Meaning what? Spike is my Champion, he's proven it over and over again. Wasn't letting himself be sacrificed on your alter to kill the Legions of The First enough?" Buffy commented.

"I am talking about truly accepting him." Gemma replied.

"I don't understand?"

"You have accepted the man he has become, but have you truly accepted the demon?"

"I......I.." Buffy flagged in her reply, she just didn't understand, with everything that had happened lately it was just too much. The fact that the entity before expected her to go into battle with The Powers, was enough to make her head spin and she just didn't need any more complications.

"I cannot explain this to you, only you can work this out for yourself. It is through working it out for yourself, that you will truly accept your Champion." Gemma moved around the table, closer to the couple. "You must understand that we are the sum of all our damage, and it takes great courage to move beyond that concept. To see that we are the total of all our experiences, whether it is inflicted by us or on us. That is why you must move forward even more, take control of the Slayer line, before they do, or it will be lost forever and they will control it."

"Huhhhhhh?" Buffy asked bewildered and confused.

"Sod it! You sought it out! We want nothin to do with it!" Spike took Buffy's hand, and attempted to walk her away from the table.

"The Powers That Be want it back. They want to control the Slayer Line again, you destroyed their power base when you last came here and killed the Elders of the Slayer Line. If you don't take control, then The Powers will, and use it to take back what they think is rightfully theirs!"

"What?"

"The Human Race."

"But?"

"They have already activated the others, in hope to find another leader to take your place. One they can persuade, and control to their will. Why do you think there was so much unrest before your battle with The Legions of the First Evil ?"

Buffy stood down from her stance, and looked at the being before her, some of what she said made sense, but inside she knew some of it to sound true, but why? It took only a moment of reflection to answer her own question.

"To weed out the weak one's, ones that would follow, and ones that would lead."

"Exactly." Gemma smiled at her, she finally understood, "It is your right and place to take control of the Line. You are more than you were meant to be!"

"You said that our paths are crossed. What do you mean?" Buffy asked of her.

"Some of the older members of the Council will not leave and we cannot remove them..." Gemma started, but was interrupted by Spike.

"Members of what Council?"

"The Power is actually a body of different entities, that before even the formation of a single microbe on this planet, fought the 'darkness', fought for their freedom and liberty from others domination. A Council was formed to keep the balance of Power." Gemma looked onto the floor and refused to look up, "Until the scales were tipped, upon your return to this earth."

"Bloody hell! Consequences." Spike still spoke quietly. "I....they knew that there'd be consequences! But not this ....never this."

"It wasn't the only thing, time has caused memories to be forgotten, they now do as they please! They have become greedy, they now wish to dominate everything, rule everything and they would do anything to get it!"

"And your role in this?" Buffy asked of her.

"Not all of us are like that! The Powers have tried to gain power through other means. They failed. A civil war has erupted, fighting within the ranks is rife, and some of us, like myself will do anything to stop them. Even come here to you. Help you take the reigns of the Line before it's too late.............before it's too late for us all."

*****************************************************

Willow called Angel as soon as the trio of herself, Dawn and Xander, had returned to the hotel they had been staying at since the destruction of The First. She had done everything that she could, tried every spell she could think of, and had looked at every book that she could get her hands on. They had nowhere else to turn, in truth Willow hoped that maybe Wesley had something she didn't, or that Angel may have a contact that could help them out. The conversation between herself and Angel, had been quick and straight to the point. Buffy's remains couldn't be found. This had prompted Angel to make a decision to come out himself, and help in the search. None of them aware of his change in position in the scheme of things, mainly his becoming the head of Wolfram and Hart, and the whole new resources he had at his finger tips.

"When's he coming?" Dawn asked Willow, as she put the phone down, as she listened to the conversation between the two.

"Tonight it would seem." A look of surprise covered Willow's face, laced with concern and dread.

"What Willow?" Xander could read his friend of many years, he just knew something was wrong.

"It's odd, but I called Angel Investigations only to be answered by someone at 'Wolfram and Hart'. I'm not sure, but I think I remember Wesley once mentioning them as 'the agents of evil', as I think he put it." Willow shook her head, unsure about this turn of events.

"Agents of Evil?" Dawn questioned her, "What's that supposed to mean? But with Angel who knows?"

Willow just shrugged her shoulders, "At this point I don't really care. If they can help thats all that matters. Are we agreed?"

"Yeah, just what we need 'dead boy's' help!", Xander looked at Willow with doubt in his eyes.

"Can you think of anything better?" Willow questioned him.

"No. So it's the 'undead' to the rescue!" Xander replied.

"I don't care who or what does the job, as long as it's done !", Dawn's voice was so quiet, that it was barely heard by them, the blank look in her face, showed the isolating wall that she was beginning to build, to shield herself from the world around her.

"We'll find her Dawnie. Don't worry about it." Willow went to comfort the teen, only to have her jump up and run past the two, trying to avoid either person. Opening the door, she ran out with streaks of tears running down her face, slamming the door behind in her wake. Her despair not missed by either two, it was so bluntly obvious.

"Well at least we didn't ring 'Captain Cardboard'!" Xander looked at Willow, "What?" His sense of humour always had such perfect timing, "What did I say now?"

"'Captain Cardboard', that's what Spike called Riley."

"And......" Xander losing the plot of this converstation.

"If, and just if we find Buffy's remains. Will Spike's be there as well?"

"Does it matter? His dust in the wind." Xander's dislike for the vamp rang in his words, he'd still never had forgiven Spike for what he had done to Buffy, and most importantly for sleeping with Anya.

"Xander it does matter! He did what he did, but he would have died for her! Done anything for her!" Willow chided her friend, and reminded him, "He also would have done the same for Dawn, and I don't know why, but for any of us I think."

"Willow, come on please!"

"No Xander! When will you finally accept the fact that, he changed. Spike changed for Buffy! He turned his back on everything he was, and tried to become more of a man. He would have died for any of us, even you"

"When did you come all 'Forgivey Willow' ?"

"Let's say that when I was all post 'Veiny Willow', I had a new perspective on the world, and trying to be all 'Redemption Willow', has opened my eyes a bit", Willow looked seriously at her friend, "We only have each other Xander, and we have to make it all count! Even Spike!"

Xander moved to sit down at the table in the hotel room, Willow had never really ever brought up the fact that she'd tried to bring on the next apocalypse, and knew that she was serious, and in a way made some sense. He had his own battles to fight within himself, he'd forgiven Anya for her little escapade with the vampire, but he just didn't know if he could forgive Spike, for all the damage that he'd brought onto Buffy. Yet it was clear to all in the last few months of their life that Buffy had learned to move on, and focus on the here and now. Maybe, just maybe, he needed to take a leaf out of her book, and move forward with his own life. As much as Spike needed to be staked before his 'I've got a soul now' show, Xander conceded that he'd changed a little for the better, and if a walking corpse can, than so could he.

*********************************************

Angel pulled up to the cheap motel, just before dusk, letting himself out of the limousine, he dismissed the demon driving the car. "I'll call when I'm ready." He stood and looked at the budget accommodation that the Watcher had marched his little soldier's into, shaking his head, he thought '~these girls deserve more~', even though some had fought with their last breath, and the rest ended here in a cheap nasty motel, in a cheap nasty town.

In a way it had seemed quiet unfitting, they had sacrificed their leader, rather than stay until the bitter end. Even though reflected in those thoughts, he could feel his consequence scream at him, '~who was the bitter one here? ~', it was obvious even to him. He'd lost so much in the last few months, one of his dearest friends, his first love, and his compassion somewhere along the way.

***Chapter Nine***

**Damaged Defeat**

Gemma departed in the way she arrived, a dust storm. She had disappeared as quickly as she had appeared. Her arrival put a new angle on everything, it explained some things, but as usual in a Slayers life there were always more questions than answers. However, they had to deal with the here and now, the last few hours still didn't make clear why they were there, and why they had been spared from a fiery death. Most of what Gemma had said made sense, but how far they could trust her was another question. More questions were the last thing that either wanted, or needed.

"Rather an enlightening conversation I'd say." Spike was the first to comment on the events.

"Most enlightening, but what the hell did it mean?"

"Which part?" Spike asked her.

"Take your pick of the bunch."

"Well what about the most obvious luv. The bit about you becoming the First Slayer, or whatever the bint meant."

"If it involves becoming like the original, I'm definitely not interested in the job vacancy." Buffy spoke with hard undertones in her voice. "If it means taking control of the Line from the Council, then that's a job I'd take great pleasure in doing!"

"And may I ask how in bloody hell are you expected to do that?" Spike replied.

"I don't know, but if I have to I will, by any means."

"Now that's how I like my girl to talk." Spike moved behind her, putting his arms around her.

"A Hero and her Champion. You're in this as well, you know! No backing out now!" Buffy put her arms around his encircling arms, she realised just what an anchor of support and love he'd become to her over the last few months. If this was part of his redemption, then she would do everything she could to help him regain as much of his humanity as she could. "What do you think she meant when she said I'd hadn't truly accepted my Champion?"

"I'm not sure sweetheart." Spike quietly replied to her question, but Buffy could feel the tension immediately strain his body, as she had said the words. She knew that maybe he did know, but just wasn't ready to share it. Funnily, if this had happened a year ago she just would have beaten it out of him, and then probably fucked his brains out to make it up to him. However, that was then and this was now, which meant part of that 'now' was trusting him, that he would tell her when he was ready.

"What about the part of being patient, I suppose I'll just have to take a number and wait." Buffy tightened her hold on him.

"They say patience is a virtue you know." Spike muffled through her hair, as he placed a kiss on her head.

"Virtuous! You! Ha, tell me another one!" Buffy broke out into deep howling laughter.

"Never had any complaints from you love, on my virtue or lack of it!" Spike took the opportunity to change the mood and direction of the conversation. If they hadn't already had a bad day, he wanted to distract her, if only for a little while, and deepen their new relationship. So taking matters into his own hands, he went about seducing his girl.

Picking her up, he carried her through the room and proceeded to dump her onto the bed. Spike moved so quickly it was just a blur to Buffy, he straddled her at the waist, leaning over her he bent down and began his gentle art of foreplay. He persuaded her to open her mouth to his own and began to kiss her lips, lightly pressing his own to hers, darting his tongue out at times, and teasing her own as their kiss deepened. Spike took his weight onto his forearms as he melded his own hands to hers, locking them together. Buffy could feel the cool touch of his flesh penetrate her growing warmth, her own skin giving rise to his, the contrasting body temperatures moulding as they burned together.

Slowly, as they lingered over each other, the tempo of their joining rose to a higher pitch of need and want. It moved into a greater fevered encounter of longing to consume each other. He took the front of her gown and gripping the edge's he slowly tore the fabric down the middle in two. Buffy shuddered as her lover moved his hands back to her bared breasts, he massaged the two mounds within his hands, his eye's connecting with hers demonstrating the love and lust that they contained within them. Gently he enfolded them with his hands, sending tingles of delight along Buffy's nerves, causing her nipples to peak in response to his touch. Arching his back forward, he took one of the peaks into his mouth, he suckled the flesh, drawing it up into his mouth as he made claim to it, gently biting on her. Not content with this, Buffy lay her hands on his head, applying pressure she guided his head to her other breast, she wanted to feel him all over her body, one place wasn't enough for her, she felt a hunger for him that was intense, and she wanted more.

Spike complied with her silent request, he could taste the hunger of his lover as she moaned and shuddered with each stroke of his tongue. Slowly he made his way down her body, he tasted her skin with his lips as his tongue slid along the flesh, until he reached the apex of her mound, which he outlined with the tip of one of his fingers. Not being able to stand the intensity of her feelings she turned the tables on him, she swiftly bucked him off her body, slamming him onto his back. She grabbed the top of his pants that hung on his lean hips, and let her fingers invade the waistband. She hung her thumbs out on the outside of the rough fabrics, and slid her hands around the fabric until they joined in the middle, just above his zipper. Moving above him this time she straddled him, rising above him she took the button that held the top of his pants together, she felt the cool metal under her thumb as she encircled it with her finger. Buffy looked at Spike, as he struggled for breath, caught up in the anticipation of her releasing him from the tight confines of his pants.

"Buffy, undo them."

Spike spoke in a hushed voice, as he verbalised what he wanted from her, his blue eye's shone with pleading. He needed to feel her make the connection with him, he craved it, he needed her to release him. Bit by bit she pulled the material away from the button, pulling apart the fabric, continuing her excruciatingly slow movements. Slowly she pulled the zip down. She ran her hand, inside the fabric, smoothing her fingers over his pelvic bone, she hooked her thumbs in the side of his pants, as she pulled them down.

"Lift." The single word was uttered, and he immediately complied with her request. She pushed them down until they reached his knees, and lay herself over him, sliding over him until they lay hip to hip, shoulder to shoulder. She could feel his raging erection pressed flat against her mound. Teasing him, she pulled her knees up while still laying over him, her toes entwined in his pants she pulled them the rest of the way down, until they slid off his feet. As she removed them his flesh sprang between her open legs, settling in between her moistened flesh, causing it to slide in between her folds. An unmistakable moan could be heard escaping his lips, as his flesh was encased by the warmth and moisture that seeped from her body. She could sense his delight in her provocation, and continued to rock her body backwards and forwards. Enabling the rise in her own pleasure he slid over her clit, causing tight sensations of pleasure to build in her body, bringing her closer to nirvana.

She felt his abdominal muscles contract and tighten, in sequence with her movements. She slowed down her rocking motion and slid her body downwards, never taking her eyes off him, she stopped just above his groin. Taking his hardened shaft between her hands, she slowly began to rub the wet flesh between her fingers, fluctuating the pressure that she placed upon it. She bent her head slowly enfolding him in her mouth, tasting the tip of him and running her tongue along the ridge, in tight little circles, that were making him unable to think or concentrate beyond the here and now. Slowly she built up the pressure her mouth was placing on his flesh, and traced the vessels that jagged his skin, as she felt him shudder under her mouth.

Spike watched on as she gave him one of his favourite types of kisses, he looked on as her head bobbed below him, fascinated and captivated with her movements. Unable to stand it for much longer, he entwined his hands in her hair, placing them around her skull he motioned for her to stop. She pulled her head away from him and looked at him, Spike bent down and kissed her passionately on the mouth, before he pulled her back to lay flush with him once again. He rolled her over, this time it was his turn to taste her intimate flesh. Before she could say a word, or take a breath, he lay on top of her. He moved between her legs, pulling at her knees as he slid down her flesh, pulling them to a bent position. He opened her moist flesh with the tips of his fingers, and allowed his tongue to find it ways amongst the folds. He teased the bud that he found and suckled it as he did her breasts, torturing the tip with his tongue and tasting the flood of her body. Gently he probed her with his fingers, brushing her inner walls and feeling them contract in need for more of his touch. He gave her what she craved as he moved his mouth in tune with his fingers, causing the coil within her to tighten with each sweep of his flesh against hers.

Unable to contain her need for release anymore, she screamed out her pleasure as she came. Spike continued to dispense a devastating orgasm to her, he dragged it out for as long as he could. Feeling her muscles begin to relax, he glided himself back up to her torso, and rolled them over. Taking the dominant position, Buffy straddled herself over his shaft, guiding it into her she allowed her body to slowly engulf him. She shallowly rocked herself up and down, rotating her hips to expose as much of him as she could to her inner walls. Slowly she deepened her thrusts, swallowing up all of him to his base, breathing in and out with every rise and fall of her body. Spike grabbed her hips, encouraging her with his hands to quicken her pace. He pushed his own hips up to drive himself even deeper into her body as they moved together, colliding flesh upon flesh as they devoured each other within the heat of their fervour.

Closer and closer they drove each other to the edge. Spike placed his thumb over her clit, and strummed her into another obliterating orgasm which consumed her. Spike followed her into the deep abyss that now surrounded them. He felt her muscles contract and flutter around her, as he allowed himself the release hr sought. Buffy felt the moment Spike let himself go, she felt her warmth flooded with a cool sensation that was totally him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Angel walked into the foyer of the motel where the group of Slayers now called home, he looked around to see the filth of the room in which he stood. Memories flooded his mind of places he once called home, many worse than this, and many better depending on his financial situation at the time. Being homeless, or 'lost' as he would have rather called it, made this place seem like a palace to him. He shook the memory from his mind, reminiscing was not why he was here, and he new better than to try and remember what his life once was. It was all different now, for better or worse.

Stepping up to the front desk he laid his arms on the desk, the woman that sat behind the desk continued to watch the soap opera playing on the T.V. She clearly wasn't interested in the potential customer that stood in front of her. Angel sharply hit the bell that sat before her. She turned her head to observe the male standing in front of her, Passing her glance up and down, sizing him up. Not perturbed Angel stared at the woman with blank look not wanting to give anything away.

"You wanna room?"

"In this fine establishment, no." Angel leaned into the desk, "I'm looking for some acquaintances of mine, man late 40's glasses, brown hair, about so high", Angel lifted his hand to indicate Giles height, "Younger people, red haired woman..."

"Look's like he's got his head stuck in a book?"

"The older one?" The clerk nodded her head. "What about the woman?"

"What, run out on you did she?" the clerk asked Angel.

"Who?"

"Redhead? Silly girl! Look like you could show a girl a good time?" The smirk on the woman's face was so loud, that Angel just wanted to wipe it from her face.

"Where is she?" The tone in Angel's voice broke any aspirations that the hotel clerk may have held out for the man in front of her.

"Okay, mister!! Just don't want any trouble! You break something you pay for it, you understand!" She quickly retreated further behind the desk. "She's in 26, but she's sharing with a girl, so don't stress alright!"

Angel quickly vacated the office, and moved towards the room that the clerk said that Willow would be in. He had no desire to confront the Watcher yet, he was more likely to rip his heart out and make a meal of him, than sit and rationally listen to the man. Stopping in front of a faded red door with two rusted numbers that resembled 26, Angel knocked. He was confronted by a well-built brunette. Immediately his vamp sense went off alerting him to the presence of a Slayer. He took a step back as he could see that she was having the same reaction to him. Jerking herself to the side of the door she quickly found her weapon of choice, a sword. Lifting up her arms she put herself in an attack stance, Angel couldn't believe his luck, he'd come here to help find a Slayer, only to be confronted by the next generation. That story was getting old and tired!

Fortunately Willow came out of the bathroom to find her girlfriend, with a sword between her hands, looking like she was just about to decapitate her only chance of finding Buffy's remains. "Kennedy! No!" Willow cried out behind her, grabbing the sword from Kennedy, she disarmed the girl, "Angel, go see Giles, he's next door!"

"So you're Angelus?" Kennedy couldn't help but ask the obvious.

"Sometimes." His answer drew a questioning 'Don't tell her' from Willow.

Willow pointed in the direction of the door on the left, and promptly slammed the door. Angel stood alone on the concrete in a crappy motel, in a crappy town, he didn't really want to help these people, they'd never done him any favours. The only thing that made him come was Buffy, no other reason. Taking the hint from Willow he moved along to the next room, knocking on the door he waited for a while, and knocked again, this time the door opened to find a very worn out looking Giles, badly needing a shave, and hair cut.

"Gee Giles's my man, you're looking well! Training the new Slayer's keeping you in shape then?" Angel just couldn't help himself, Giles looked like shit, and he couldn't stop himself at having a dig at the man for old times sake.

"Very funny Angel!" Giles moved back further into the room, opening the door wider so as to let the vampire in, "Oh yes, come in. I suppose."

"Don't need an invite Giles's you should know that! Getting sloppy in your old age then?"

"No Angel, he isn't and neither am I!" Willow made her presence known to the two men.

"So I hear. Quite the strong witch these days, or so I hear. Or should I say remember?" Angel let out a small laugh. "But enough veiled threats. Let's get down to the reason I'm here instead of L.A. doing my paying job."

Giles moved over to his cupboard and removed two glasses. Taking a cheap bottle of whiskey in the other hand, he poured two large shots of the drink. He handed one to Angel, nodding his head, he took the drink, and sat down on one of the old chairs that surrounded the double bed in the room, for what would appear to be a bonding session with the man. Willow took a seat next to Angel, and if anything put herself forward as a barrier between the men should anything happen, and Angel appeared to be in a right mood.

"So you can't find Buffy?" Angel asked the obvious question.

"No, not a trace. I've tried everything!" Willow answered for them both.

"Tried what?" Angel asked.

"Everything I could think of, and tried everything that I could get my hands on." Willow looked down at her shoes, she felt like a failure, despite trying everything.

Angel just sat there, looking from Willow to Giles, both seemed so out of their depth on this one, which was something he'd rarely seen, since he'd known them both. He took the glass and threw the contents down his throat. Not even giving a grimace to its cheap, ghastly taste, even the pigs blood he fed on tasted better.

"What do you expect me to do?" Angel asked them both.

"I thought that was plain enough Angel. Help us find Buffy's remains, so we can give the girl a decent burial." Giles spoke, his voice thick with regret and sorrow for the young woman-pseudo daughter he'd lost.

"I don't know how you except me to help, especially when you tell me Sunnydale is now just a big hole in the ground." Angel put his glass out to Giles for more of the whiskey, "If Buffy got buried or burnt in the fireball, what makes you think that there'd be anything left?"

"That's what we don't know. Can we find something of Buffy to bury? We need to for Dawn." Willow pulled a face as Giles poured both of them another drink, she'd watched Giles begin to drink too much, "Well maybe just not for just Dawn, but the rest of us too."

"And you need me to do it."

"Yes!" The reply from Giles was quick and straight to the point. "Can you? Or should I say will you?"

Angel sat back into the chair that was biting into his back, he felt the bile rising to his throat, in response to what they were asking. It meant that he had to use his resources at Wolfram and Hart, which could bury him deeper into their axis of control, but it needed to be done. Taking out his mobile phone he dialled the office, waiting for the phone to be picked up he,placed the empty glass on the floor, and walked to the window, he looked out and watched as the neon sign with the motels name flickered.

"Eve," Angel pulled back the curtain further to watch the people in the car park move about, "Yes, I know I'll be back soon. Is Wesley there?" Angel paused in his conversation, "Wesley, I need you to do something?" Another pause. "We need to find Buffy?................Yes I know she's dead.......But I need to locate the remains.....Can we is the question?......................Who?............Oh.....No, no....Okay are you sure?....................When?......................Okay do it!"

Willow and Giles watched on as Angel had his back to them, he appeared to be organising his resources to aid in their search. Angel flipped the cover on his phone, effectively cutting off the conversation. It was clear from the look of disapproval on his face he wasn't happy.

"Can you help?" Willow dreaded to ask what need to be asked.

'Yes I can, but it won't be easy, and it may mean doing things my way." Angel looked at Giles, drowning out any hope that he would lead the search for Buffy. "You may also not like the way I'm going to do it, but it must be done, my way or no way."

"I think that we can live with that can't we Giles?" Willow stood up besides Angel, "What do you need for us to do Angel?"

"Not get involved!"

"May I ask why not?" Willow asked Angel, she'd do anything to help, anything to find her friend for her sister.

"Because these people are out of your league Willow, and they are dangerous." Angel spoke softly, just above an audible level

"You mean Dark Magik," Willow swallowed the fear that had lodged in her throat.

"Yes"

Giles didn't even bother to question how, or when, or why Angel had contact with these people. He didn't even protest the use of dark powers to find Buffy, the only thing that mattered to him was finding her, and he would not stand in Angel's way.

He was a defeated man and he knew it.

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