Title: Back Track
                   
Author: Nebula
                   
Chapter: 21 of ?
                  
Pairings: B/S, X/A, W/T
                  
Rating: PG-13, possibly R later
                  
Time Period: Post 'Get it Done' to ...?
                  
Summary: In the midst of war, Buffy finds she's not the only one
that wishes the last year would just make itself all better.  It
can't be done, unfortunately.  Or can it?
                 
Disclaimer: Who wants to guess what I'm about to say?  ~_^  Joss
said I could write, so I'm gonna write, dammit!  LOL  Of course,
none of the characters are mine.  They all belong to Joss.

NN: Okay, this is a second post, because it didn't go through for
me, and it's been a few days.  Sorry for the delay, and hope you
enjoy!
 
< --- >

  They managed to finish dinner and still arrive a few minutes

early.  "Can you turn those lights on?" Anya asked, already walking
towards the cash register.
  Xander nodded, flipping one set of switches and heading for the
next.  He cringed, rubbing his forehead.  Okay, generals, at ease. 
Stop lodging cannon balls in my head! 
  On one side, he had General Past, telling him that Halfrek was a
demon, and Anya had been just like her!  What was he thinking
marrying her?
  General Future disagreed.  Anya is the woman you love more then
your own life.  You want to spend forever with her.  You came back
in time to do just that.  Don't screw it up!
  "Earth to Xander?"
  Xander shook himself, turning to Anya.  "Sorry, honey.  You were
saying?"
  "I was just browsing through stuff, and I found the wedding table
arrangement.  As long as we have time, we might as well work on it
until they get here."
  "Good idea," Xander replied, wishing the war generals would give
it a rest.  He took a seat at the table as she brought the map

over.  She took a seat, already talking.
  "Now, we can put my friends here," Anya said, pointing to the left
side.  "And then, your family can be here."
  Xander winced.  "Wouldn't be easier to elope?"  General P.
cheered, and General F. launched another volley of assaults on his
brain.  Damn.
  Anya gave him a scowl.  "No!  We decided to do this.  Oh crud, I
forgot the markers.  They're just right up there on the counter."
  Xander went over to retrieve the desired item.  "Are your parents
going to be all right with my friends?" she asked him.
  "They'll be fine, trust me," he assured her.
  "There's no liquor until after the ceremony, so your dad will have
to hold on that."
  Xander almost cringed again.  His dad.  He forgot how much fun the
first attempt at the wedding had gone.  "Hey, if we don't introduce
him to anyone, then they won't know he's related," he tried to joke
weakly, picking up the markers.  One skidded on the counter, just on
the other side of the register. 

  He could almost see Anya roll her eyes as he bent around to grab
the slippery marker.  "I doubt that.  I mean, you two are so alike,
it would be easy to put two and two together."
  But Xander had stopped listening after 'alike'.  His father was
rude, harsh, and yelled all the time.  He'd been a horrible husband
and parent.  Was Xander like that?
  Maybe not now, but he could be.  He could be the husband that
drank to no end, screamed at everyone, and hated his kids.
  He barely registered the markers slipping from his fingers.  The
generals had declared World War 3 in his head, and the pain was
getting too intense.  He shut his eyes, clutching his head.  Didn't
they ever give up?
  He could hear Anya calling him, as the floor began to wobble.  He
grabbed the counter before he fell.  Just try and get down to the
floor.  Just take it slow...
  His hand slipped as noises flooded his head.  He was falling
towards the ground, but he'd barely fallen a few inches when the

world went black.

  Xander jumped, shivering violently.  He was going to be swallowed,
and he'd never see Anya or the gang again.  He had to pull away, but
it was trying to pull him under.
  Something gripped around him, and he whimpered, trying to get
away.  It was calling his name, getting louder and louder...
  "Alexander Harris, stay with me!!"
  His eyes opened to find the gang hovering around him, panicked
looks on their face.  The thing that had been taking him 'down' and
calling him had been Spike.
  "You'll be all right," the vampire said, trying to reassure
him.  "Just hold on, Xander."
  "Is he awake?  Xander, are you okay?!"  Anya's high-pitched voice
reached him as Spike helped him sit up. 
  He tried to tell Anya that he was going to be okay, and Spike, you
can let go, I'll be fine, when he groaned, falling forward.  Spike
and Buffy caught him before he'd fallen further.  "Get the powder,"
Buffy ordered Willow, who took off like a bullet.

  "M'fine," Xander croaked out.  He coughed, still shaking.
  "You don't look 'fine'," Spike said, raising his eyebrow at him. 
They'd just been coming in the door when they saw Xander begin to
fall.  Before anyone could react, he'd fallen to the floor, hitting
his head on the counter.  By the time they'd reached him, he'd been
out like a light, trembling horribly.
  Anya knelt down, creeping between Tara and Buffy.  She took
Xander's hand in hers, stroking it in a calming gesture.  "You'll be
okay, honey."
  Willow came back with the powder, Dawn grabbing the water.  "You
want the aspirin?" Buffy asked him, trying to not freak out. 
  Xander nodded slowly, tightening his grip on Anya's hand.  As
Buffy headed off with Tara to locate the aspirin, Spike pulled
Xander against him, allowing him to rest against the vampire's
shoulder.  Xander closed his eyes gratefully, still shaking.
  He managed to pull his arm out, and reached up for his head.  A

firm grip pushed it back down.  Xander turned to Spike,
confused.  "You don't want to do that, trust me," Spike said
gently. 
  Xander glanced back at the glass counter, his stomach turning at
the sight of it being covered in ruby red blood.  His blood.  "Oh
jeez," he said weakly, turning away.
  The next few minutes passed in a blur.  Between Spike and Anya
trying to assure him that he'd be fine, he had Buffy and Tara
helping him swallow pills, and Willow blowing powder in his face.
  By the time Jonathan and Andrew arrived, Xander had been patched
up as well, and the counter was being cleaned.
  "Uh...what happened here?" Andrew asked.
  "Xander hit the counter, and knocked himself out," Dawn supplied,
blushing slightly at the sight of Jonathan.
  Jonathan frowned slightly at Xander's still pale face.  "Are you
okay?"
  Xander nodded slowly.  "I'll be fine," he managed, smiling
weakly. 
  The two boys seemed to accept that as an answer, splitting up. 

Andrew went with Willow for 'research lessons', as Jonathan smiled
at Dawn.  "You, uh, wanna go practice sparring?" he asked her.
  "Really?" she said, her face lighting up.  "I mean," she
corrected, trying to look nonchalant, "I guess."
  Tara smiled at Buffy, rising to follow the two.  "I'll chaperon,"
she whispered.
  Buffy nodded her thanks, not wanting to leave Xander's side.  "You
gonna be okay?" she asked once everyone else was gone.
  Xander closed his eyes, still leaning against Spike for
support.  "Do you need more aspirin?" Anya asked him, concerned.
  "I'll be fine," he said, opening his eyes once more.  His
exasperated look faded into a tired one.  "It just...it just hurt
more this time," he said, his voice dropping to a whisper.
  Buffy gave him a sympathetic look.  "I know," she said
quietly.  "It'll get worse, until you can fight your way out, and
then it's over, I promise you."
  Spike nodded.  "Give yourself time, and you'll see.  Be good as
new in a bit."

  "Can you have orgasms?" Anya asked.
  Xander could hear Buffy sigh, but he'd closed his eyes.  He was so
tired; he could barely lift his arms.  Blood loss could do that to
you, he supposed.  He'd never felt this weak in his entire life! 
Well, there'd been that one time that his dad had come home early. 
He'd staggered in, drunk as lords, and had sent Xander flying.  And
again.  And again.  By the time he'd been thrown down the stairs,
Xander had passed out.  His father had been cursing, drinking,
leaving him there, and Xander wouldn't be like that, he could be
better, just please, give me a chance...
  He whimpered, clutching his head.  "Take it easy," Buffy said, her
eyes widening as he began to tip forward.  She jumped forward,
grabbing him the same time Spike did.
  Her eyes locked with his, and he nodded.  How was it that he knew
what she was going to say?
  As gently as he could, Spike pulled Xander up and carried him

towards the training room.  Dawn, Jonathan, and Tara took one glance
at Xander and crept out to the store.  Anya grimaced, torn between
taking care of the store and watching over Xander.
  "We've got him," Buffy assured her.  Anya nodded, placing one more
kiss on his forehead, and heading after the others.
  Spike set him on the cot, shushing him as Xander started, trying
to sit up.  "You're all right.  Just rest."
  Xander barely nodded before he fell back, already half asleep.
  "You might wanna be careful; someone seeing that might think you
were gay," Buffy teased, covering Xander with a blanket.
  Spike glared at her.  "Ha bloody ha; you're a riot Slayer.  Anyone
ever tell you that?"
  "You usually do, and on a regular basis at that."  She stared at
him, a thoughtful look on her face.
  Spike shifted uncomfortably in his seat.  "Now what?"
  "Why?" she finally asked.
  He blinked.  "Why am I bein' this way with him?"
  She nodded, prompting him to sigh.  "I guess...I dunno.  I

just..."  He growled at himself, attempting it once more.  "I just
feel responsible for you Scoobs.  That's all.  Shoved into this much
too young, each and every one of you.  You most of all.  I mean, how
old were you when you got called?  Fifteen?"
  Buffy looked down.  "Sixteen?" Spike guessed again.
  She mumbled something under her breath, causing him to frown and
lean forward.  "Try that again, pet."
  "Thirteen," she said, slightly louder.  "I was thirteen."
  Spike's eyes widened, his mouth dropping open.  When he'd been
thirteen, he'd moved to England.  His father had still been alive,
and his mother hadn't had consumption.  He'd been turned when he was
in his twenties, never hearing the word 'vampire' until then. 
Bleedin' 'ell.
  She glanced at Xander, running her fingers through his
hair.  "They were fifteen when they got caught up with me.  I still
hate meeting them."  At Spike's surprised look, she
replied, "Everything that's happened to them, I blame myself for. 

They should NEVER have been brought into this," she added,
emphasizing the word 'never'.
  "Neither should you," Spike's soft voice said, bringing her head
back up.  His gaze was sad as he said, "You should never have had to
bear the worries you have."
  "It was worth it," she said, smiling.  "If I hadn't, I wouldn't be
sitting in a magic shop with an unconscious friend and the undead
love of my life."
  Spike laughed out loud.  "That you wouldn't.  You might be doin'
somethin' girly, like a pillow fight with a few friends."  His gaze
turned wistful.  "Wouldn't mind seein' that..."
  She smacked his arm playfully, a leering grin playing on his
face.  "I'm sure you wouldn't," she said sarcastically, before
turning back to Xander.  Her smile faded at the sight of his
bandage.  How much more pain would they go through because they
stood by her side?
  "He'll be fine," Spike assured her, placing a kiss on her
forehead.  "Promise.  Quit worryin'."

  "It's my job," she replied, trying to smile.
  Spike took her in his arms, rubbing her back.  "We're all gonna
make this, Buffy.  You'll see."
  Buffy nodded, loving the feel of his arms around her.  She felt
safe here.  Nothing could go wrong while she stayed here in his
embrace.
  A clatter from the shop brought them back to the world.  She
sighed.  "Guess we have to go back out there, huh?"
  He chuckled.  "Don't leap up at once, Slayer."
  With one last look down at Xander, Buffy stood and headed back to
the shop, Spike right behind her.
 

 

 

Chapter 22:

< --- >

  "I don't understand how WE got picked for this," Willow grumbled.
  "Oh, quit your whinin', Red.  Sooner we get dinner, the sooner we
can get back."  A pause.  "That was a not so subtle hint to pick up
the pace."
  Willow sighed dramatically, but sped up her walking nonetheless. 
Spike could be pushy when he wanted to be.
  He'd emerged from the back with Buffy, assuring everyone that
Xander would be all right.  Anya had suggested that he would
probably feel better with food in his stomach, which prompted Dawn
to remind everyone that they'd ALL work better with dinner.  Willow
being the only one not really doing anything, the group voted her as
the dinner retriever.  When she had pointed out that walking alone
in Sunnydale was never a bright idea, Buffy had volunteered Spike to
join the witch.  Spike had scowled at his lover, who had merely
beamed at him.
  Willow made an 'oomph!' sound as she bumped into Spike.  She
glared at the vampire.  "For someone who told me to hurry up, they
should be moving fast themselves, and not stopping for..."
  "Shhh!" Spike hissed.  "I think I heard somethin'."
  Willow glanced around, shivering slightly.  They were on a semi-
lit street that ran through the middle of town, not too far off from
their destination, the all night deli.
  "It's comin' from there," he said quietly, nodding towards a
building.  Willow glanced over and swallowed.  An empty fast food
joint.  Wait a minute.  That was a DoubleMeat Palace.
  "I remember this!" she exclaimed, causing Spike to turn around and
shush her.  Lowering her voice, she tried again.  "From last year. 
We did this, Buffy and I.  There was a demon or something eating the
employees.  Remember?"
  Recognition flared in Spike's eyes.  "Yeah.  Nasty paralyzin'
thing, if I recall correctly."
  She nodded.  "Right.  We should deal with this."  She stopped,
frowning slightly.  "Should we get Buffy?"
  He shook his head.  "No reason to.  We can deal with this
ourselves.  C'mon."
  Cautiously they made their way towards the building.  Scraping
noises could be heard from within, and the back door was
ajar.  "Move in," Willow whispered.  Spike nodded, sliding in before
her.
  Willow growled at his overprotective nature, and glanced around
his shoulder.  The sight made her very glad he was in front of her.
  The withered old lady stood in front of them, the demon sprouting
from her head, hissing at them.  "Hello dears," she said, smiling at
them.  "I've just eaten, but I wouldn't mind dessert."
  Willow glanced over to the right and gasped.  A mutilated person
lay on the ground, his face against the floor.  Had his hand just
moved, or was that her imagination playing tricks on her?  She had
to make sure.
  She darted towards them, Spike yelling with surprise at her sudden
movement.  She slid to her knees, flipping the man over.  Dead.  She
closed her eyes, fighting back the bile at the sight of his face.
  "Look out!!"
  Willow glanced up, startled from her thoughts.  Suddenly she was
being thrown to the right, a cry coming from behind her.  She
turned, surveying the scene before her.
  Spike lay on the floor, crawling away on his arms from the
demon .  Wait.  What was wrong with his legs?  Her eyes widened. 
He'd shoved her out of the way so she wouldn't be hit with the
paralyzing spray.
  "I bet you're tasty, too," the lady hissed.  "Just like he was. 
Just like she'll be."
  "Red, go!!" Spike yelled at her, still crawling from the lady. 
Willow couldn't move.  Her mind was racing, trying to figure out how
to stop Spike's impending doom.
  'Use magic!' The past murmured.  'You know you want to...'
  Willow shook her head.  There HAD to be another way.  Her eyes
caught sight of something thin, and a longer glance confirmed it to
be a metal tray.  Would it do anything?  She glanced back at the
cornered vampire.  It was worth a shot.
  She grabbed the metal tray and with a yell swung the sharp edge
towards the neck of the demon.  It hissed, green ooze pouring from
its wound.  So much for cutting its head off.  Time for plan B.
  She swung around, catching the demon in the face.  The blow sent
it flying towards a basin.  Willow's eyes widened as she realized
what it was.  The meat grinder.
  Dropping the tray, she dashed forward, reaching for the on
switch.  The demon screamed and shot spray her way.  Willow turned,
the spray paralyzing her left arm.  The grinder was on, at least.
  She shoved the demon towards the grinder, keeping the head tilted
away from her.  Willow could feel her arm going numb, and knew it
was only a matter of time before the paralyzing acid took full
effect.  She had to work fast, and the demon fighting to break loose
wasn't helping matters.
  'USE MAGIC!!' her past self screamed, causing her to wince.  'Save
yourself the trouble.  With a flick of your wrist, you can push it
in, and...'
  "No magic!!" Willow yelled her left arm useless.  With a cry she
shoved down with her remaining hand.  The demon shrieked as the
grinder caught it and ripped it to shreds.
  Spike was already crawling towards her as she collapsed to her
knees, her right hand grabbing at her head.  Her left hand lay in
her lap, temporarily paralyzed.
  She shuddered, closing her eyes.  She'd done it without magic. 
They could stop hammering holes in her skull anytime.
  Spike's hands grasped her face, bringing her attention back to
him.  "Stay with me," he ordered.  "Don't have any of that powder on
me."
  "It hurts," she whispered, her eyes glistening with tears.  'Hurt'
was an understatement.  She felt sick to her stomach, and her head
felt like it was going to explode.
  Spike seemed to read her mind.  He smiled sympathetically as he
said, "I know, Red.  I know."
  The two sat there for a few moments, just staying with each
other.  "Spike?" Willow ventured.
  "Yeah Red?"  When there was a pause, Spike frowned.  "Red?"
  "Thank you."
  He smiled briefly, hugging her.  "Welcome.  'Sides, it was my life
you saved, pet.  Should've taken off runnin'."
  "And left you here?" she said, her eyes wide.  "No way."
  "At any rate, thanks."
  She grinned.  "Welcome."  A sharp odor suddenly assailed her nose,
and she scrunched it, turning to see what was causing the smell.
  Yellow flesh was being ground out of the grinder, piling on the
floor.  Willow and Spike exchanged disgusted glances, before helping
each other up and out of the fast food joint.

  Between the two of them, they managed to get dinner and head back
to the Magic Box, only to find that Buffy was almost ready to call a
search party together.  She turned to the two, her eyes
flaming.  "Where the hell have you two been?!  You've been gone for
over an hour, and we..."  Her eyes roamed over the two, Willow
supporting Spike, and Spike carrying the dinner, and let her ranting
die out.  "What happened?" she asked, stepping forward.
  "He can't walk," Willow explained, as Tara hurried over to her.
  Buffy's face paled.  "Wh-what do you...what...I..."  She
swallowed, trying not to let her worry show and failing
miserably.  "Why not?" she finally managed to ask.
  Spike gave her a crooked smile.  "Paralyzin' demon down in
DoubleMeat Palace.  Got rid of it, but I doubt they'll be usin'
their grinder anytime soon."
  With Buffy's help, he managed to sit down, glancing around the
shop.  "Where's Harris?"
  "Still out," Dawn supplied, as Buffy checked him over for damages.
  Spike sighed, grabbing Buffy's roaming hands.  "I'm FINE," he
said, sounding exasperated.  "It'll wear off in a bit.  No worries."
  He could tell how much of an effect his words were having on
here.  Not.  "This should never have happened," she mumbled, her
hands fidgeting in his.
  He frowned.  "What do you mean?" he asked quietly, making sure no
one else could hear him.
  "The demon.  Last year, Willow and I had to take it out.  It was
eating the employees at DoubleMeat Palace.  I should've remembered,"
she whispered, looking close enough to bashing herself on the
head.  "If I had, you wouldn't be hurt, Willow wouldn't be hurt..."
  "Hush," he soothed, pulling her down to kiss her.  "No worries. 
We're safe.  It's dead.  The Palace needs a new grinder after
tonight."  He was rewarded with a small giggle.  "See?  Everythin's
okay."
  Her smile faded.  "You both could've been..."  She closed her
eyes, trying to NOT think about two people, dead, because she hadn't
remembered the demon.
  "I know," he said softly.  "But we didn't.  And hey, even managed
food.  Quit worryin'.  Okay?"
  Buffy looked up at his concerned face, and offered a small
smile.  "Okay.  You're safe.  It's dead," she said, repeating his
earlier words.
  He grinned.  "'Atta girl."
  A small shuffling had everyone turning to see Xander stumbling out
of the training room, rubbing his forehead.  "Okay, headaches are
NOT fun, really nasty, and...is that food?"


Chapter 23:

< --- >

  Spike stumbled down the stairs the next morning, trying to wake
up.  After last night, he was happy to not have to breathe: Buffy
hadn't let go of him once.
  He blinked, finding Buffy at the table, writing.  She paid no
attention to his arrival.
  "What's that all about?" he asked softly, taking a seat across
from her.
  She glanced up then, smiling at him.  "Your hair's all mussed up,"
she commented, her smile broadening.
  He rolled his eyes.  "Yeah, yeah, you like it that way.  Didn't
answer my question."
  Buffy glanced back at the sheet, then back up at Spike.  Shoving
the paper over to him, she sat back, chewing thoughtfully on the
pen's cap.
  Spike frowned, taking the paper.  It looked like a list.  "Goin'
shoppin'?"
  "For memories," was her reply.  At his bewildered look, she
sighed.  "After last night, I realized that so much happened the
first time around, and I'd forgotten most of it.  If I wrote down a
list, then I can keep track."
  "You think you'll 'member everythin'?" he asked, raising his
eyebrow.
  Buffy growled.  "Probably not.  Care to help?"
  He exaggerated his sigh.  "If I must..."
  Her response was to throw her pen at him.  He smirked at her,
grabbing the pen in flight.  "All right, what've you got so far?" 
He chuckled at the first thing written on the list, which was
capitalized and underlined.  "Warren?"
  She nodded emphatically.  "First thing to go."
  "That goes without sayin'," Spike muttered, thinking back to his
kidnapping.  He was more a pain in Spike's ass then the whelp was
these days.
  As if she read his mind, she reached over and took his hand in
hers.  "He'll pay," she promised, her eyes glittering.  "If it's the
last thing I do..."
  "Eh, eh, eh," he admonished, glaring at her dangerous look.
  She sighed.  "Okay.  No killing Warren.  I'll wait."
  "Good."  Spike glanced down at the list, noticing some things were
already crossed off.  "Dawn's finished...Harris' wedding
isn't...Red's workin' on the magics..."  His gaze softened at the
next one.  "'Make things right with Spike'," he read, glancing up at
her.  She smiled, looking tentatively hopeful.
  "You didn't cross it off, luv," he whispered, leaning forward.
  "I wasn't sure."
  He smiled as she reciprocated his actions, putting them almost
nose to nose.  "Then let me assure you," he said, his lips locking
with hers.
  Buffy moaned as she opened her mouth, allowing his tongue to
enter.  She reached up and ran her fingers through his already
mussed hair, the kiss becoming more intense by the minute. 
  "It's not even seven yet, guys," Dawn's voice said accusingly. 
Her sudden appearance startled them into pulling back, glancing over
at the disapproving teen.
  "And?" Spike asked, giving her his innocent puppy look. 
  Dawn huffed and headed off to the kitchen, muttering about morals
and poor teens who don't HAVE lickable boyfriends, and...
  Spike turned to Buffy, trying not to laugh.  "Lickable, eh?"
  She leaned forward, and whispered in his ear, "Very lickable. 
Alllll over, too."
  He swallowed, shifting uncomfortably.  "Tease," he muttered.
  "Proud of it," she grinned, pulling away. 
  "You're gonna pay for that," he growled, leaning forward.
  She gave him a look.  "That holds no threat, considering we can't
do...that.  Believe me when I say I'm all for paying up for being a
tease," she added, winking at him. 
  He couldn't agree more.  "We should probably get back to the
list," Spike stammered, his voice sounding strained even to his ears.
  Buffy grinned.  And damn if she didn't know what she was doing to
him.  "Good idea," she agreed, licking her lips.  Spike could only
watch helplessly as she slowly dragged her tongue over her slightly
bruised lips.
  He whimpered, his pants getting tighter.  "Are you tryin' to kill
me?  'Cause hey, hell of a way to go, but..."
  She laughed, shaking her head.  "No, I'm just trying to get you to
change your mind."
  "Doin' a pretty damn good job of it, too," he said, swallowing
again.  "List?  Please?"  His voice was high, and it sounded like he
was begging to get back to something that didn't involve teasing
until it hurt.
  She rolled her eyes.  "Fine.  Take all my fun.  Oh, add the demon
last night down.  And watch out: the ink may be a little...wet," she
breathed.
  He closed his eyes, breathing heavily, though he technically
didn't need to.  Well, he usually didn't have to.  Her soft, desire-
filled voice was almost enough to send him over the edge.
  On the other side of the table, Buffy watched him, her words and
his actions having quite an effect on her as well.  She almost
laughed: Dawn was right.  It wasn't even sunny out, and they were
revved and ready to go.
  Spike opened his eyes and chuckled at the look of want on her
face.  "See?  If you hadn't been such a tease, you wouldn't be
gettin' yourself excited," he scolded.
  She pouted, crossing her arms.  "Don't remind me," she muttered,
looking away.  She really had no one to blame but herself for this. 
Her pout slipped into sadness.  If she hadn't royally screwed things
over with Spike, literally, the first time around, they wouldn't
have to be so tentative.  They wouldn't have had their distanced
moments earlier the second time around.  If she hadn't been such a
selfish bitch, she wouldn't have put him through any of that pain,
and none of this would've happened.
  So wrapped up in her own world, she didn't hear Spike come around
the table to take a seat next to her.  When her pout had faded into
a look of grief and self-loathing, he'd had a pretty good idea of
what was tumbling through her head.  He pulled her to him, ignoring
her gasp of surprise. 
  "I didn't hear you," she said, trying to turn and look at him.  He
merely continued to hold her, her back against his chest. 
  "Why the sad face?" he whispered, though he pretty much knew why.
  She sighed, leaning into him.  "Because after everything I've done
to you, I don't deserve this, let alone more.  I've been a complete
bitch, and..."
  She got no further.  With a small squeak from Buffy, Spike
tightened his grip around her.  "You are NOT," he said calmly,
though she could hear the anger building in his voice.  "You're not
the only person responsible for the first time 'round.  I lent a
hand too."  He kept his eyes fixed on her golden tresses, knowing
that if he closed them, he would see that scene rolling around and
around in his head.  The bathroom, full of desperate cries and
pleading.
  He flinched, his head starting to throb.  No more wars, please. 
His skull was starting to ring, and he closed his eyes for a
fleeting instant, trying to will the pain away.
  The image sprang up in his mind, black darting forward to try and
make the light one see how much he needed her, and how much she
needed him.  The light one struggled to get away from the black
one's tight grasp.  He was oblivious to pain he was causing her as
he fell with her to the floor.  The light one was crying, telling
him to stop, please, no more, stop, Spike, stop...
  Spike shuddered, his eyes popping open.  Dawn, Willow, and Buffy
were looking down at him, and it was only then that he realized he
was on the floor.  The shuddering quickly turned to shivering, and
he fought to keep his eyes open.  They couldn't take him!  Please,
not again...
  "Buffy," he whimpered, her hand already interlocked with his. 
  "You're gonna be okay," she said, trying to smile through her
tears.  "And Spike, if you EVER do that to me again..."
  His weak laughter was cut short as the front door slammed
open.  "Tara met us outside," Xander panted, the bandage still on
his forehead.  "What happened?"
  Spike was about to make a sarcastic comment when he felt himself
sinking.  But he was still in Buffy's arms, so how could...oh.  Oh
no.  He couldn't do this again.
  "I'm falling," he whispered weakly, clutching at her. 
  Buffy turned to glance down at him, shaking her head
furiously.  "No.  Not gonna happen, nuh uh.  Stay with me Spike,
stay with...Spike?  Spike?!  Dammit, don't you give up on me!!" she
shouted, trying to wake him.
  Spike's eyes closed, and the shivering increased.  "Xander," Buffy
called helplessly, tears leaking from her eyes.
  Xander hurried over, pulling the vampire into his arms.  Willow
told the tearful teenager to wait outside with the others, then led
Buffy up the stairs after Xander.
 
  Cold.  That's all Spike could think of being.  Even colder than he
usually was.  And afraid.  Deathly afraid.
  When Willow had come to him, asking if he'd had any headaches,
he'd merely told her a few times.  Hadn't told her of him falling to
his knees in the crypt, scared to death and screaming, as the pain
in his skull surpassed anything the chip had ever done.  They'd
steadily gotten worse, one by one. 
  His hope had risen when Buffy had defeated the blackness for
good.  Hope that he, too, could do it. 
  But today, comforting Buffy, he'd felt just a small jolt of pain. 
Not much, so he'd dismissed it.  He should've known better.  All it
had taken was his eyes closing, and he'd sunk farther into the abyss
then ever before.
  "Why?!" he yelled into the darkness.  "Why do you keep doin' this
to us?!  'Cause we wanted a second chance so damn bad?!  It's not
bloody FAIR!!!"
  His screaming echoed around the darkness, as if no one had heard
him.  A familiar tug at his ankles told him it wasn't going to be
long now, and then he'd be forced to fight for his life. 
  'Don't give up.'
  Spike blinked, the voice startling him.  What the bleedin'...?
  'Spike...stay...'
  The voice was one he'd heard over and over again.  "Buffy?" he
called, trying to see her.
  'Stay with me...'
  "Bloody tryin' to, luv.  Where are you?  Buffy?"
  'Sweetie, don't give up...'
  He frowned.  "Red?  What happened to the Slayer?"
  'Hang in there...just a little longer, Spike...'
  Now Spike was even more confused.  "Harris?"  Hope flared in his
chest.  "Are you guys gonna get me outta here?"
  No answer.  Hope flickered, then died.  "Red?" he called, his
voice getting frantic.  "Harris?"  Still nothing.
  "BUFFY!!" he yelled, glancing around at the blackness.  "Get me
outta here!!"  He fell to his knees, tears trickling down his
face.  "Please..." he added miserably.  "Guys, please..."
  Suddenly he felt himself being jerked backwards.  Away from the
gang.  Away from her.  "NO!!" he screamed, fighting desperately to
pull himself away from the blackness.
  Spike didn't even know why he was trying.  Why fight it, after
all?  Did he have to go back because Buffy or the gang needed him so
badly, they couldn't make it without him?
  "No," he hissed through gritted teeth.  "I need THEM."  He gasped
as he began to fall...
  And gasped again as he jerked awake, finding himself in Buffy's
bed.  The three Scoobies surrounding him yelped and jumped
backwards, startled at his sudden awaking.
  Buffy was the first to recover, running to the vampire and
flinging her arms around his neck, before breaking down against his
shoulder.
  "S-Stupid vamp-pire..." she managed between sobs.  "Making m-me
worry..."
  Spike pulled her closer, smiling weakly.  "Stupid vampire is very
sorry he made you worry."  He glanced up at them as Buffy pulled
away, wiping tears from her eyes.  "And said stupid vampire is also
very grateful.  You helped him find the way home," he added softly,
as they smiled at him.
  "Only fair," Willow said, beaming at him.
  Xander shrugged at Spike's confused look.  "You helped us, and
Scoobies always help other Scoobies."
  "What he's saying," Buffy said, as realization dawned on
Spike, "is that you brought us home, and we thought we'd return the
favor."
  "I'm a Scooby?" he asked in happy bewilderment.
  Willow giggled, Xander rolled his eyes, and Buffy kissed his
forehead.  "Have been for awhile," she assured him.
  "We just haven't gotten you the official club ring yet," Xander
quipped.
  "I'm the leader, and I've never gotten this ring," Buffy said,
mock glaring at her best friend.
  Xander shrugged again, grinning at her.  "They've been back
ordered for awhile, what can I say?"
  "For several years?" Willow asked, her eyebrows raised.
  The three downstairs were relieved to hear laughter from
upstairs.  Things, it seemed, would be okay.

 

Chapter 24:

  
< --- >

Willow and Xander had headed down a little while later for two
reasons.  While Xander had told everyone that Spike was fine, Willow
slipped off and retrieved the list.  The two had headed up, saying
Buffy needed them for one last thing.
  Willow handed the list to the Slayer, who was sitting on the bed
with Spike.  "You can cross Sweet off, too," Willow offered, taking
a seat next to Xander on the floor.
  Buffy nodded.  "Yeah, but I'm forgetting a lot, guys.  Help me
fill in the spaces, or somebody out there's gonna suffer for it."
  "More than likely at Warren's hands," Xander muttered.  Spike
snorted.
  "The only person that suffered the worst from Warren's escapade
was that girl," Willow commented.
  Buffy frowned.  "What girl?"
  "The one you thought you'd killed?  The time demons making
everything wonky?"
  At Willow's words, both Buffy and Spike turned to each other,
thoroughly alarmed.  "Katrina," she breathed.
  "Bloody 'ell."
  "When did she die?  Willow, what was the date on the paper?"
  It was Xander who came to the rescue.  "February 6th or 7th, I
think.  A day or two after she actually died."
  "What's today?" Buffy asked hurriedly. 
  "February 3rd," Willow said, her eyes wide.
  Spike swallowed, trying to talk.  "Could've been tonight, then."
  Buffy nodded, rubbing her forehead.  "Yeah.  Xan, you ready for a
little search and rescue?"
  "Just tell me where and when."
  Spike frowned.  "Oi!  You're not leavin' me here!"
  Buffy turned to him, a no nonsense look on her face.  "Uh, yeah we
are."
  "No you're not!"
  "Give me one good reason why you should come with us."
  "I can protect you," Spike protested desperately. 
  Buffy sighed, leaning in to kiss him.  "Spike, listen to me," she
said softly.  "I would be way too worried about you to be able to
fight properly.  And you're injured, which, hey, isn't the greatest
way to fight."
  "But..."
  "No buts," Buffy said firmly.  "You're staying here with the
others."
  Spike tried not to let his worry show.  "Just the two of
you 'gainst Warren?  Buffy..."
  "We'll be fine," she assured him.  "Don't worry about us." 
Turning, she glanced up at Xander.  "Ready?"

  Buffy glanced around the club, Xander right behind her.  With
Willow's help, they had found Katrina's address.  After not finding
her at home, a helpful neighbor told them they could find her at a
club downtown, where she usually hung after work.  The two thanked
her and left.
  "There," Buffy said suddenly, pointing to a girl sitting at a
table nursing a drink.  "Any sight of Warren?"
  Xander shook his head.  "None.  Let's warn her, and get out of
here."
  Buffy was already heading towards Katrina.  The girl looked up,
slightly confused.  "Do I know you?" she asked.
  "I'm Buffy, from the whole Warren robot adventure?"
  Katrina lost her confused look and rolled her eyes.  "THAT.  I
remember you.  Thanks, by the way, for saving my life."
  Buffy grinned.  "You could say it's my job.  Listen, I'm about to
save your life again."
  Katrina's frown was back.  "What do you mean?"
  "We overheard that Warren's on his way here, and he's got it in
for you after the previous year," Xander said.  "We figured you'd
enjoy a heads up."
  Katrina's eyes widened.  "Me?  Why does he want me?"
  "We have no idea," Buffy said truthfully.  Who knew what made
Warren's mind tick?  "All I'm saying is that he'll be here tonight,
or another night.  Stay low for awhile, and once we've taken care of
him, I'll let you know."
  Katrina nodded quickly, already gathering her things.  "Thank
you," she said, offering them a brief smile.
  "Not a problem," Xander told her, nodding to Buffy.  "I'm gonna
make sure she gets out okay."
  Buffy glanced around the bar one more time.  There was no sign of
him.  "I think I'll join you," she added distractedly. 
  The two had barely gotten out when a familiar person was seen
coming over the hill towards the bar.  He hadn't spotted them yet,
apparently.  "Get her out of here," Buffy hissed, sending Xander
into motion.  He moved Katrina out of sight, telling her to head
home and lock the doors.  She nodded and took off running.
  Warren had just spotted them just as Xander came back to join
Buffy.  "Well, well, well," Warren sneered.  "How's the wussy vamp?"
  "Wussy?  You're lucky he didn't hear that, or chip or no chip, you
would've been on the wrong end of his wrath.  I'd be willing to see
THAT show," Xander mused thoughtfully.
  "Is this where you tell me to get out or die?" Warren asked, mock
pouting at Buffy.
  Buffy chuckled bitterly.  "Oh no, Warren.  You're well past that
point.  The only option you have left is the cops or me.  Both'll
get you death."
  Warren snarled, pulling out a knife.  "Try it, bitch."  With that,
he leapt at her.
  Buffy could feel her rage coursing through her, but played it cool
this time.  He would pay for what he'd done to Dawn, Spike, and her
friends, but whether it was by her hands or not, she wasn't sure.
  She swiftly dodged the attack and dealt him a kick to the ribs. 
He jumped back, bristling. 
  "You have no idea who you're messing with," he growled.
  Xander couldn't believe his ears.  "You're messing with a Slayer,
witches, a vampire, and people that fight ten times better than
you do!  If anyone's in over their heads..."
  Xander ducked, avoiding the knife.  "I will be the Master of
Sunnydale!" Warren roared, leaping at both of them.
  "Not bloody likely," Buffy said, not even aware that she was
quoting her boyfriend.  She grabbed his arm that held the knife and
twisted it.  Hard.
  He yelped and fell down, the knife now in her hands.  He pushed
himself up, his eyes bright with madness.  Buffy pulled back, and
the knife pushed towards him in an attempt of self defense.
  "You'll pay for that, Slayer!" Warren yelled, pulling what looked
like a seed from his pocket.  He threw it at the ground, causing
smoke to rise.
  Buffy and Xander both covered their mouths, coughing until the
smoke disappeared.  Warren had taken his chance and disappeared as
well. 
  "Dammit!" Buffy swore, his knife still in her hand.  "How does he
manage to keep slipping away?!
  "You managed to nick him, though," Xander said, trying to placate
her.  "His left cheek was cut cleanly from near his eye to his
chin.  That'll scar."
  "Really?" she said hopefully.
  He grinned.  "Really.  C'mon, we've done our job here."

  The two geeks arrived the next day, Andrew heading off to his
dutiful position with the research books.  Jonathan merely blushed
and looked down at the sight of Dawn.  The teenage girl didn't fare
much better.
  Spike was back up to full strength, extremely miffed that he'd
missed out on the fight, and that Warren had gotten away.  Again.
  "Bugger shouldn't be this slippery," he muttered, taking a seat
next to Buffy.
  Everyone knew, though, that no one was more unhappy about the
Warren issue then Buffy.  Since they'd arrived back the following
night, Xander and the gang hadn't seen Buffy smile once.
  "What's the date today?" Anya asked, shuffling through her
papers.  "I'm not sure how much longer I have until the catering
service comes by with samples."
  "I wanted to elope, but nooo, couldn't do that, that would be too
easy," Xander grumbled under his breath, making Willow giggle.
  "It's the 4th of February," Dawn supplied.  Her eyes went wide
with realization, before she glanced at her sister.  Her sister paid
no attention, merely continuing to scowl at nothing.
  "Um, Buffy?" Dawn asked, smiling at her sister.  When her sister
turned her scowling on her, Dawn gulped.  "Uh...I think if you, you
know, punched a bag, or something, you might, uh, feel better...?"
  Buffy stood without a word, heading off into the training room. 
When she slammed the door behind her, the gang all winced.  "And
that was for what reason exactly?" Xander asked the younger Summers.
  Dawn beamed.  "Two reasons.  One, maybe she'll destroy something
and feel better and quit scowling at me, because hey, that's creepy
when she does that.  Two, do you guys know what happens in a few
days?"
  Spike frowned.  "Enlighten us, Bit."
  With a smile Dawn began to sing softly, "Happy Birthday to you..."
  "Buffy's birthday!" Willow answered.  She cringed at the
remembrance of the first time around.  That had NOT been a fun
birthday.
  "So?  What should we do?" Dawn asked, grinning.
  Andrew looked up from his book.  "What does she like doing? 
Besides killing things..."
  "She used to love ice skating," Dawn replied, smiling wistfully at
the memories.  "She hasn't done it in ages.  Something about killing
a demon with her blades, and that was the last time."
  "That sounds like enough to wilt your dreams," Xander joked.
  Spike was deep in thought.  "Nibblet, I need the exact day of her
birthday.  Andrew, get your bloody head out of the book and try
findin' the number for the ice rink.  Red, set 'bout makin' a cake
of some sorts.  Harris, you need to think up somethin' to distract
her with so she doesn't suspect anythin'.  This is gonna be one
birthday of hers where there are NO demons."  He paused, then
corrected himself with a smirk, "'Cept me, of course."
 
  The punching bag didn't do anything for Buffy's mood, except
making her more upset: she kicked it clean off the mechanism and
straight onto a spear.  Her foul mood went downhill from there.  The
others, realizing she was on the warpath, left her alone and figured
she'd cool down after a day of scowling.
  When her birthday rolled around three days later, her mood hadn't
improved.  Even Spike stayed away from her.
  The gang continued to plan the party, nevertheless.  The rink was
rented out for the night, and Willow outdid herself with the cake. 
  Xander managed to think of something to bring Buffy away from the
house while Spike called the rink and Willow baked the cake.  When
he returned a few hours later, Willow let him eat the last bits of
frosting from the bowl as recognition of his bravery.
  "I'm surprised I didn't wither when she fixed me with that glare,"
Xander said, shuddering.
  "She didn't guess what you were doing, right?" Dawn asked
impatiently.
  Xander shook his head.  "She's completely forgotten that it's her
birthday.  She just sat around and almost bit the pencil in two when
she added more to that list."
  "List?" Tara asked, frowning.
  Willow's eyes widened.  Cover, cover!  "Uh, a list of what she's
going to do to Warren when she gets him," she stammered, sure she
wasn't missing the mark too much.  Buffy probably DID have a list of
the painful things to do to the geek.
  "Okay.  I'll get Buffy there around seven, eight tonight.  You
guys follow around awhile later, clear?"
  Xander narrowed his gaze at the vampire.  "And WHY should we be
doing this?"
  Dawn was sure that if Spike could've blushed, he would've turned
three shades of scarlet.  "I'm gonna see if I can pull her outta her
mood so she won't freeze you with her glare," Spike defended weakly,
before sighing.  "That, and I just wanna be with her for a bit. 
Haven't been able to 'cause she's been a Slayer to be reckoned with
these past days, and I...I miss her," he admitted quietly.
  Xander had to admit, the Buffster was starting to scare him. 
She'd barely said a word the past couple of days since Warren had
taken off, and he didn't know what to expect from his friend.
  "Get her there around seven, and we'll see if we can arrive
sometime around eight," Xander said, smiling at the vamp.
  Spike returned the smile with a look of gratitude.  "Almost four
now, right?  Bit, what'll she need?  For the rink?"
  Dawn shrugged, thinking.  "Gloves, hat or earmuffs, and a
turtleneck or sweater should do it.  I can go get everything for
you, if you want."
  "Thanks, Nibblet," Spike called after her as she hurried upstairs.
  "I'll go with Xander and set everything up," Willow said, taking
the cake container in her arms.  Tara grabbed the punch, and Xander
grabbed the silverware and plates, and led the girls out to his car.
  Spike took an unnecessary breath and drummed his fingers on the
table.  As much as he hated to admit it, he was nervous about the
whole thing, and worried about his love.  She still hadn't snapped
out of her almost comatose state of rage.  Xander had told him the
fight with Warren had been nothing to write home about, so what had
sparked her sudden irate moods? 
  He was going to find out, one way or another.  Drumming his
fingers one last time, he went to retrieve his duster.  It was
almost show time.

 

Chapter 25:

< --- >
 
   He stopped a quarter to seven and picked Buffy up at the shop,
not even receiving a question when he told her he was taking her
somewhere. 
  She sat next to him, sullenly glaring out the window at the
offending things they passed by, such as a house or tree.  She
didn't even notice the small plastic bag in the back seat.
  The plastic bag was full of all the essentials Dawn had told Spike
she would need so as not to get cold at the rink.  Spike had
approved of everything, then had frowned at a small CD case in the
bag. 
  When he'd asked her about it, Dawn had smiled.  "It's a copy of a
song Buffy skated to in a competition once.  It was one of her
favorite songs to skate to.  Maybe it'll pull her from her sour
state, because..."  Her face had fallen.  "I miss her, too."
  He'd hugged her briefly, with her giggling and wishing him the
best of luck, then promptly shoving him out the door, bag in hand.
  He stopped in the parking lot, thankful it was too dark to really
make out the building.  More of a surprise, then.  He almost
snorted.  Not as if she actually noticed.
  He opened his door and stepped out, remembering the bag.  He
slammed the door, then sighed.  Three, two, one...
  Her door opened slowly, then slammed shut as she stood by the
door, scowling.
  "This way," Spike said, mentally restraining himself from going
over and knocking her senseless.  He led the way, the scuffling of
shoes behind him the only sign that she was still following him.
  He stopped them at the side door, thanking Harris for unlocking it
earlier.  The two stepped inside into darkness, until Spike turned
the lights on.  It took Buffy a few seconds to adjust her eyes to
the sudden brightness, but when she did, her jaw dropped.  Spike
glanced around at what had captured her attention.
  A huge room with a large rink of cleaned ice lay before them, the
entire place quiet as a tomb.  Off to one side, a huge stereo system
was connected to speakers that hung around the rink.  On the other
side, a cake sat on a table, complete with a bowl of punch and
decorations.
  Spike turned back to the Slayer, happy to see her showing an
emotion other then anger.  "The rink's ours for tonight.  Happy
Birthday, luv," he whispered.
  Buffy burst into tears.  She buried her face in her hand as he
pulled her close.  "That was somethin' else the others and I agreed
had to be fixed: your birthday celebration.  They'll be here in a
bit, and you can show us all up on skates."
  A muffled giggle, then more crying was his response.  "This is
supposed to be a 'happy' birthday, not a 'sad' one, luv.  No more
tears."
  She leaned into his embrace, sniffling.  "I'm sorry I've been so
horrid these last couple of days."
  He glanced down at her, a small frown marring his face.  "What
happened?"
  "While I was fighting Warren, he said he was going to make me pay,
which means he's gonna keep coming back.  He's gonna keep trying to
hurt me through you guys, and I can't do a damn thing about it,
because he's human, and I don't deal with those types of evils!!"'
  Her voice had risen in volume, until it echoed around the room. 
She jumped at the sound, and Spike bent down to place a kiss on her
forehead.  "I know, pet.  I know.  We'll take care of him. 
Promise.  Don't bottle your emotions up, though.  Talk to me,
please?"
  Buffy sighed, nodding into his shirt.  "Promise."  She shook her
head wearily.  "As if there weren't enough real demons in the world
to contend with, humans had to try their shot at it," she murmured.
  She glanced around the rink again, before back up at Spike.  "I'm
really sorry," she said, but Spike shushed her with a kiss. 
  When they pulled apart, Spike smiled at her.  "Don't worry 'bout
it.  Now, you gonna show me how to skate?"
  A smile appeared on her face, which broadened and led to giggles,
then full blown laughter.  "What's so bloody funny?"
  "The Big Bad," she gasped, "on ice skates!"
  He mock glared at her.  "Ha bloody ha, Summers.  Get your ass out
there, Birthday Girl."
  Buffy merely laughed at him and went to get her skates on.
  Spike had his skates on in a few minutes, then headed over to pop
the CD that Dawn had given him into the stereo.
  He turned to see Buffy pulling her gloves on, apparently having
found what was in the bag.  With a grin at him, she stepped out onto
the ice and began to skate.
  And skate she could.  Spike felt his jaw drop as he watched her
find her rhythm, before during a double jump.  "Bit wasn't kiddin'
when she said you were goin' pro," he breathed when she'd returned
to the entrance.
  Buffy blushed.  "It's been awhile.  I used to be able to do a
triple sow cow with no problem.  Now..."
  "It'll come back to you," Spike assured her, stepping out onto the
ice.  Buffy had to steady him for awhile, but Spike caught on
quick.  Buffy's eyes widened as he twirled around.
  "Was human at one time, pet," he grinned, winking at her.  Buffy's
laughter was contagious, and soon their mirth was echoing all around
them.
  Spike grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the side of the rink
that held the stereo.  "Nibblet thought you'd like this.  Not sure
what it is myself, but..."
  Strings filled the air, and Buffy frowned slightly, trying to
place the song.  When the beat turned slow, and a male voice began
to sing, her eyes widened and filled with tears.  She hadn't heard
this song in years!  Not since that one night...
  "I told you, no more tears," Spike said, getting slightly
distressed.  She wasn't supposed to be crying every five minutes. 
  She smiled and blinked a few more tears away, Spike's finger
drifting up to dispose of the rest.  "Happy tears," she assured him,
taking his hand.  "Skate with me?"
  He nodded, letting her pull him onto the ice.  "Don't wanna trip
you," he muttered.
  She grasped his hand tighter.  "You don't," she said
quietly.  "You keep me balanced."
  If he could've, Spike would've blushed.  He took a few extra steps
and was soon skating side by side with her, watching her close her
eyes and smile as she disappeared into memories.

  I believe I can fly,
  I believe I can touch the sky.
  I think about it every night and day,
  Spread my wings and fly away...

  I believe I can soar,
  I see me runnin' through that open door...
  I believe I can fly...

  Spike was about to tell her that they were about to crash into the
back wall when she gracefully turned her blades, pulling him with
her and away from the approaching wall of disaster.  He watched her,
agape.  She hadn't opened her eyes once.
  As far as Buffy was concerned, she was nine again.  Her heart was
racing as she stepped out onto the ice, and her song began to play. 
Moving with the rhythm, she skated back and forth, nervous but
willing.  She could do this. 
  Her eyes quickly opened as Spike let go of her hand.  At her
bewildered look, he merely smiled.  "I just want to watch you, luv,"
he said in his perfect gentleman tone.  No harsh sarcasm, or rough
accent.  This was William at the core.  He even bowed as he skated
off to the side, his arm extending towards the ice.  Returning his
smile, she turned and closed her eyes once more.

  See, I was on the verge of breakin' down,
  Sometimes silence can seem, so loud...
  There are miracles in life I must achieve,
  But first, I know, it starts inside of me...

  If I can see it...then I can be it...
  If I just believe it, there's nothin' to it,

  I believe I can fly.....

  Buffy spread her arms, turning to skate backwards.  She didn't
need to be told that there was a wall to her left, and a wall coming
up behind her; she knew the rink inside and out.  They were all the
same.  Just different memories.  Her smile broadened at the
thought.  Different memories, yes, but all of them good.
  At the age of nine, her teacher had given her the chance to pick
the song she would skate to.  She had decided on this one
instantly.  When asked why, she had merely shrugged and said, "When
I skate, I believe I CAN fly."
  And she was, too.  With her outstretched arms, she was soaring
over the ice, in another time and place.
  The song changed keys, and a choir began to sing in the background.

  If I can see it...then I can do it...
  If I just believe it...there's nothin' to it...

  The ice rink door opened, and the Scoobies tip-toed inside to
stand near Spike.  "I thought you were going to skate?" Willow
whispered.
  Spike smiled softly, his eyes never leaving the girl on the
ice.  "I am," he whispered.  "She's just doing it for me."
  Willow exchanged glances with Xander.  What had happened to the
Cockney accent they'd grown so accustomed to?  This was a perfected
voice of a gentleman. 
  Dawn, too, was staring out at the ice, tears stinging her eyes. 
Spike turned and almost rolled his eyes.  "What's with you bloody
Summers' women and cryin' in an ice rink?"
  Xander almost smacked his head against his palm.  So much for the
dignified Victorian gentleman.
  Dawn glared at him through her tears.  "She's just...I don't
know.  She looks happy.  And she's skating!"
  "I take it Happy Buffy is back among us?" Xander whispered at
Spike.
  Spike snorted.  "Yeah, no more grouchy Slayer."  His eyes riveted
back to Buffy, and the world suddenly came to a stand-still.
  Her earmuffs had been tossed to the side, her golden hair now free
to dance with her.  Her eyes were closed as she danced around the
rink, never missing a beat with the song.  Her smile was so bright,
so happy...she was perfect.  A glowing goddess.  She was...she
was...
  "Effulgent," he breathed.  No one heard his praise, as their
attention was also drawn to their friend.

  I believe I can fly,
  Hey, if I just spread my wings...
  I can fly,
  I can fly...

  Buffy pulled her arms to her chest, bowing her head.  Spike
frowned.  What was she doing?
  She was replaying it over and over in her head.  Just a simple
mistake in practice had kept her from performing the jumps in the
recital.  She hadn't had the muscles, her teacher had said.  She was
more than sure she had them now.  Could she remember the take off,
though?
  She spun once, skating backwards.  She had to prove it.  Prove
that she could do it.  Prove that she really could fly.

  ...Hey, if I just spread my wings...
  I can fly......

  The word 'fly' was dragged out into a series of notes rising and
falling, the choir building their volume as they sang, "I can fly!" 
  Buffy's eyes snapped open.  Just before the last phrase by the
choir...she pulled her body into position and leapt into a single
jump.  Just as she landed, she pulled herself once more, recoiling
like a well tight spring.  A double.
  Dawn gasped.  "She could never do it, so they pulled it from the
program.  If you're trying to tell me she's going to...no way in
hell..."
  Biting her lip until it almost bled, Buffy jumped into a triple
leap, landing on her left leg perfectly as the choir sang out the
last, "I can fly!!"
  The Scoobies watched, mesmerized, as she skated towards the
middle, spinning as the song drew to a close.

  ...Fly...eye...eye......

  The music stopped at the same time as she did.  She was panting
slightly and her cheeks were flushed, but her smile was threatening
to crack her face.
  She blinked as the Scoobies broke into applause, whistles coming
from Xander and Spike.  Buffy blushed a deep scarlet and glanced
down at the ice, slightly embarrassed at the display they were
causing.
  "I'm not THAT good," she said, as their clapping died away.
  The Scoobies exchanged glances, before nominating Spike as their
spokesperson.  "We all agree, and have one thing to say to you,
Slayer," Spike said, before breaking out into a huge
grin.  "Bullshit!"
  Buffy was sure that if she laughed any harder, she'd fall onto the
ice, her happy tears adding to the frozen water that lay under her.
  "Cake!" Dawn yelled, hurrying to the other side of the rink.
  Buffy rolled her eyes.  Same old Dawn.
  She skated over to the gang, meeting them over at the
tables.  "Um, I'm..."  She sighed, looking away.  "I'm really sorry
for being Bitchy Buffy as of lately."
  Dawn leapt forward and hugged her sister.  "Nothing we're not
already used to," she joked, earning a swat from her older sister. 
  Buffy glanced up at the others, who were grinning at her.  "If we
were majorly pissed off at you, would we have put together this
surprise party?" Xander asked her, his eyebrows raised.
  She laughed.  "I guess not.  Thank you." 
  "We get to skate too, right?" Anya asked.  "Because I was
personally looking forward to making fun of Xander."
  All eyes turned to her, surprised, before watching her wink and
smirk.  Xander gaped at his lover as the others burst into
laughter.  It seemed Anya was full of surprises.
  She grinned at the shocked look on her soon-to-be husband's face
and picked up a plate full of cake.  "Cake, anyone?" she asked.


 

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