Title: Step Forward
Author: Nebula
Chapter: 6 of ?
Pairings: S/B, X/A, W/T, D/J (more to come later...)
Time Period: After the summer following 'Back Track'
Rating: PG-13 to an occasional R or NC-17
Summary: The sequel to 'Back Track'. The previous year has been
changed, and the Scoobies are ready for the next year. How much has
their 'fixing' messed up the year they're about to enter? They'll
be pleasantly (and unpleasantly) surprised... (A season 7 redo,
following a redo of season 6.)
Disclaimer: My wishlist still consists of those three boys. I own
neither them nor any of Buffy. Joss does, however, and he's so nice
to share.
NN: I apologize to everyone for the amount of time between the
chapters, but real life has come and paid me a visit. (A small
writer's block didn't help matters either...) Also, I know this is
much darker than I'd originally intended for it to be, but I hope
you still enjoy it. As usual, all italics are enclosed in 'these'.
Hope you enjoy!
< --- >
Buffy placed her head in her hands, mentally counting the minutes
until her session ended. They had another counselor coming in to
cover the days when Buffy wasn't there, and it helped relieve the
stress.
Mostly.
Her head pounded, and had been doing so for the past three hours.
She couldn't think straight, and her vision blinked in response the
pounding inside her skull. Just a few more minutes, that was all,
and then she could go home. To Spike. Massage time, and wasn't
that wonderful? She couldn't help the smile that grew as she began
to think about the joys she would receive upon coming home.
"M-Ms. Summers?"
Buffy frowned, slowly raising her head as she tried to place the
mousy voice. Her skull yelled at her to lay back down on the desk,
and Buffy was sorely tempted to.
That is, until she saw Amanda standing over her desk. 'Standing'
wasn't so much a good word as 'fidgeting' was; Buffy was sure the
girl couldn't stand still if she tried. Her long, dark hair hung
around her pale face, making her seem taller and thinner, and
slightly malnourished.
"Can I help you?" Buffy asked, almost saying 'Amanda' out of
habit. But she couldn't, because technically, she'd never met
Amanda before.
Amanda fidgeted even more, and Buffy gestured to the chair in
front of her desk. "Please, take a seat. And don't look so
nervous; I don't kill the kids in here, contrary to rumor. Everyone
walks out of here perfectly fine," she joked, happy to see Amanda
smile despite her nervousness.
"Your s-sister...she, um, told me th-that I could talk to you. Th-
That you were a reliable p-person." She looked down at her hands,
her face flushing with embarrassment. "I don't mean to stutter,"
she mumbled. "Sorry."
"Don't worry about it," Buffy assured her. "I have a friend who
stutters when she gets nervous, and I've been known to do it a few
times myself. What can I help you with...?"
"Amanda," Amanda said, fidgeting once more. "I've...I've b-been
having these dreams lately."
And suddenly Buffy wanted more minutes at work. "Dreams? Can you
describe them to me?"
"They're...um...well, they're very morbid," Amanda admitted in a
quiet tone.
"If they're bothering you, you can tell me. This stuff is as
confidential as it gets; I won't tell anyone unless you want me
to." Though she wore a smile on the outside, she was nervously
waiting for what the young girl would tell her. It couldn't
be...could it? No, impossible. They'd handled this. This wasn't
going to happen again.
Amanda nodded, looking a little more confident. "I-In my dreams,
there's a girl. It's one of three g-girls. But each one is always
running."
Buffy felt her lunch roll in her stomach. 'Please no, don't let
this happen again, they're innocent girls, and please no you can't
let this happen so pleasenopleasenopleaseplease...'
Amanda, ignorant to the panic she was causing the Slayer,
continued on. "Th-They always...there's robed people chasing them,
and I-I never see their faces. But they always c-catch the girls,
and then...there's knives, and blood, and they just leave her there,
and I get this feeling that they're coming after me, too, but I
don't know what to..."
"Shhh, it's okay," Buffy said, coming over to pull the young girl
into a hug. She swallowed past the bile that threatened to rise and
gave her a forced smile. "Bad dreams, I can see that. Do the girls
ever...say anything? Or know that you're there?"
Amanda shook her head. "Besides screaming? No. Th-They don't
say anything. What does it mean?"
"I don't know," Buffy murmured, not sure if she was lying or
not. "But the next time you have a dream, come in and tell me,
okay? That's not something you should have to deal with alone.
Come to me or my sister; she's a lot of help, too."
Amanda nodded, looking relieved. Buffy sat back on her heels,
losing herself in memories. Of girls being slaughtered in back
alleys, for no reason whatsoever, besides the fact that they might
be destined to carry the weight of the world one day. And they were
condemned to die for it. Die for something they would probably
never understand.
"Am...Am I going to die, too?"
Buffy looked up into Amanda's tearful gaze, shaking her head
furiously. "Absolutely not," she said, pulling the girl into her
arms once more. "I swear to you, no one will touch you. I swear
it. All right?"
Amanda nodded. "Thank you," she said, smiling. "I should
probably head on home now. School's out and whatnot. But...thank
you for listening," she added in a softer tone. "It was nice to not
be labeled 'geek' the minute you saw me."
Buffy gave her a wry smile. "You're only a geek if you label
yourself that way. Everyone's different, and some people can't face
that fact. So they lash out at others. You're very cool in your
own way, you know?"
Amanda gave her a slight smile that said she didn't believe a word
of it. "Yeah. Thanks." She hoisted her backpack onto her
shoulders and headed for the door.
"My sister's told me about you, Amanda. She said you were an
awesome person to hang out with, and a great friend. She thinks
you're pretty cool, too."
THAT got her attention. With a huge smile on her face and a blush
on her cheeks Amanda headed home.
Buffy stared at the door, her headache still there but long
forgotten. Quickly she shoved all her things into her handbag and
headed out after Amanda, locking the door behind her. Her heels
made a 'click' sound on the tiled floor that sped up as she began to
run towards the exit. She needed to go somewhere that she could
forget about this, the problems that they might have to face again.
And home wasn't a good choice at the moment.
Spike stared at the door, as if he could will his love to appear.
He'd been trying to do so for the good part of the hour, and she
still hadn't come home. Xander had brought Dawn home, since this
was Buffy's night to work late and catch up on paperwork. In all
fairness, she was expected to be coming home late.
'Late', however, had passed three hours ago. The first hour,
Spike had merely thought she'd been struggling with her work, and
would be slightly later than usual. The second hour had come and
gone, and Spike had begun to let his worry rise. By the third hour,
he'd started to stare at the door, his panic reaching new heights.
He would've been out there, searching for her already, but the damn
sun wouldn't go down. Plus, he couldn't leave the Bit on her own.
Had to wait for the others to cease their searching and come back so
he could go out and find Buffy, then kill her.
The front door opened and his gaze turned hopeful for a good five
seconds, until Tara and Willow stepped in. He looked down at the
floor, his entire frame tense with worry.
"Still no word?" Willow asked softly.
Spike shook his head, abruptly standing. "Sun down?"
Tara bit her lip. "It's 'just' gone down, Spike. You should wait
a few minutes before..."
"To hell with waitin'," he snarled. "Can't. Not anymore. I've
gotta find her. I 'have' to," he said, his tone back to
concerned. "She could...she could be..."
"She could be just fine," Tara said quietly. "Which I'm sure she
is."
Willow nodded eagerly. "I'm sure of it, too. So you go find
Buffy, who is FINE, and give her a good kick in the rear for
worrying all of us, please?"
Her tone was light, but her eyes betrayed her. Leaning forward
and placing a chaste kiss on their foreheads, Spike headed for the
door, duster already on. "I'll be back in a bit; got the cell on
me, call if Xander's found her."
Willow nodded again, biting her bottom lip as Spike all but raced
out of the house.
Spike ran down the streets, worried for his lost girl. If he
found...no, WHEN he found her, he was going to do more than give her
a 'good kick in the rear'. What the hell had possessed her to not
give them a call, saying she would be home even later than normal,
or just a ring to say she was fine? Instead she'd just taken off,
wrapped up in her own world, Spike was sure, and the thought of that
just served to make him madder. He rounded the corner, fully
intending to do something horried to his girlfriend when he found
her, and stopped at the sight in front of him.
Buffy sat on a park bench, hair hanging in front of her face. Her
hands gripped the seat, and her shoulders shook with silent crying.
In the three seconds it had taken to look her over, Spike had felt
his anger disappear. This was 'his' Buffy. Buffy didn't take off
unless she had a good reason to.
Silently he made his way towards her, stopping in front of her
with a shuffle. Buffy glanced up, alerted by the noise, and Spike
felt his heart twist at the sight of her red eyes.
She blinked, as if waking up, and took a good look at her
surroundings. "What time is it?" she asked, her throat scratchy.
"Almost eight," he replied softly, taking a seat next to
her. "Mind tellin' me what's goin' on?"
Buffy ignored the question, instead looking surprised at the
time. "Almost eight? Why didn't you guys call me?"
Spike reached over into her purse and pulled out the cell, which
was turned off. She winced, glancing over at him. "Sorry; I bet
you guys were worried."
"Just slightly," he said, his tone light and sarcastic at the same
time. "But you didn't answer my question."
Buffy stared at the pavement, biting her lower lip. When minutes
began to pass and she hadn't answered, Spike reached over to tuck a
strand of hair behind her ear. As he pulled the curtain of hair
away, fresh tears made their way down her face. Unable to stand the
look of pain on her face, he reached down and took her hand in
his. "Sweetheart, please," he begged softly. "Talk to me. Tell me
what's wrong."
Buffy chuckled sadly. "It's stupid to get this worked up over
something, isn't it? Something that probably won't even happen.
But I...I can't let it go. That something bad's gonna happen. All
because of a mention of something, a something that could destroy
everything we worked so hard for last year."
"Tad confused, luv. Help me out a bit, eh?" Spike tried to keep
his tone light, but the truth was that Buffy was scaring him. He
squeezed her hand a little harder.
She swallowed, turning to look at him. "I was finishing paperwork
today when Amanda came in. You remember Amanda, right? The
Potential from the first time around?"
Spike nodded but didn't say anything.
"She...she came to me about a...a dream. A dream about a girl
being...being killed," she whispered. "She's had dreams like this,
centered around the same three girls. They're all murdered by
cloaked figures, and..." She shut her eyes, shaking her
head. "No. It's not really happening. It can't. Right? Spike,
tell me that it can't happen," she pleaded suddenly, clutching at
him desperately.
Spike's jaw hung open, as the seriousness of the situation finally
hit him: the First had returned. They hadn't been able to stop it
after all.
He shook himself, looking back in her teary gaze. "Maybe it's not
what we think it is," he said, trying to reassure the both of
them. "Maybe she just...well, maybe it...it...maybe..." He swore,
unable to find the words.
"It'll come again, won't it?" she whispered, and for the first
time in a long time, Spike saw fear in her eyes. "It'll come for
those girls, and then us, messing with our minds, trying to pit us
against each other, and..." She stopped, staring at him with a look
of helplessness, and Spike's own fear began to escalate.
"And what, pet? Buffy?"
"It'll come after you," she said, gazing up into his eyes. "It'll
come after you again. What if I can't stop it? What if I can't
reach you in time? What if I..."
"It won't happen," he said, pulling her into the safety of his
arms. She whimpered in relief, letting herself calm down. While
she was calming down, however, Spike was getting worked up. The
thought of what he'd done the year before to all those innocent
people...what if he couldn't stop? What if he hurt one of the
Scoobies, or Buffy?
And suddenly he was the one being comforted, and when had he
started shivering? "You'll be okay," Buffy whispered in his
ear. "I won't let it near you again. I promise, Spike."
Even as she made her vow to keep him safe, they both knew that it
was more than likely pointless. She would try, certainly, but she
would most likely fail. Because they both knew that this could be
the ultimate Evil once again.
And they both feared that they didn't stand a chance.
Chapter 7:
< --- >
Her chest hurt as she ran, but she knew it was going to hurt a lot
more if she stopped. Her heart jumped in her chest at the very
thought of what could happen if she slowed down. She forced herself
to keep going, her hair whipping around her face.
Her feet tripped on the cold stone, and her heart thudded against
her ribcage as she tried to regain her footing. A quick glance over
her shoulder confirmed her fears: they were still on her tail. As
fast as she could she ducked down a nearby alley, hoping to lose
them by weaving through the narrow streets.
A right, left, left and a right brought her to a cobblestone path
that sloped downwards. Up ahead, she could see bright lights beyond
a white fence, and the voices that accompanied them were the best
thing she'd ever heard. Safety. She was almost there. Mindful of
her previous fall, she headed down the path as slowly as she dared.
She headed right once more to reach the people in front of her,
but gasped as she met one of her chasers face to face. She didn't
even have time to scream before the dagger was plunged into her
stomach. She lurched, the light fading from her eyes. She tumbled
to the ground, dead, having almost reached the laughing voices of
safety.
The chaser disappeared into the night, leaving her body in the
alley. Suddenly her eyes snapped open, blank and unseeing. "From
beneath you, it devours," she rasped, blood trickling from her
mouth. The laughing voices that surrounded her turned into a scream
as the girl's corpse began to turn inside out...
Buffy awoke with a start, the scream from her nightmare sounding
in her ears. Lights went on in the hall, footsteps thudded towards
her bedroom, and it was only then that she realized that it was HER
that was screaming. Taking as deep a breath as she could manage,
she nearly choked when she felt someone grab her shoulders to shake
her.
"Buffy, luv, it's me. Calm down; you're all right, you're safe,
I've got you," a very familiar British voice soothed. With a small
whimper she laid back against him, unable to stop the tears from
rolling down her face.
Willow and Tara shot into the room, Dawn not far behind
them. "What happened?" Tara asked, as Willow hurried to Buffy's
side.
"It sounded like someone was being murdered," Dawn said, wrapping
her arms around herself.
"She was," Buffy mumbled.
Willow frowned. "Who was?"
Buffy shook her head, bowing her head and slowly rocking back and
forth. The nightmare had done more than spook her: she'd been in
two places at the same time. One place had been as a spectator to
the gruesome event, watching every single move the girl had made.
The second place had been as the girl herself.
She'd felt her heart thudding against her ribs, her breathing
painful, and her palms sweaty as she'd raced down the streets,
trying in vain to escape the people giving chase.
The cloaked men. The Bringers.
In all her dreams from the first time around, Buffy had never felt
any of the girls' pain. She'd merely had to watch the murders being
carried out, and that in itself had caused her to wake up screaming
in the middle of the night.
But now...she could still feel the cold blade pressing against her
skin before sinking through her, feeling the blood pool out and
knowing that she was helpless to stop it. Feeling the blade reach
deep inside of her, ripping and tearing and taking her very life as
she watched, unable to stop him, unable to save herself, wondering
what she had done to deserve a death like this...
Buffy let out a keening wail, folding into herself, trying to
block out the images and feelings.
Willow turned to Spike, watching the emotions flicker across his
face as he gently pulled her into his arms, ignoring the flinch she
gave as he did so. Tara and Dawn had already crept out of the room,
and Willow rose to do the same.
Buffy's hand shot out, grabbing her wrist and tugging her back
down. "Stay," she whispered. "Y-You need to hear."
Spike and Willow exchanged worried glances, before the witch
resumed her place on the bed. "What happened, sweetie?" she asked
softly, keeping her friend's shaking hand in hers.
Buffy glanced around quickly, as if to assure herself that she was
really in her bedroom. "I've got you, pet," Spike murmured. "Not
goin' anywhere. Promise."
Buffy nodded numbly, pulling his arms around her stomach. Had to
make sure there wasn't a gaping, bloody hole there. Spike hadn't
yanked away from her in horror yet; so far, so good. "There was a
girl," Buffy said, her voice barely above a whisper. "She was
running away from someone, some people, and she probably didn't know
why. Just knew that they wanted her..."
"Dead?" Willow supplied, when Buffy didn't continue.
Buffy didn't nod until Spike began to massage her stomach, before
working around to the back. "Yeah. She didn't make it, though, and
he caught her. Killed her. Plunged his dagger straight through
her." Her voice was void of any life the entire time, and Spike
forced himself not to check and make sure she wasn't comatose.
Willow frowned. "Dagger? Like what kind?"
"Silver, curled and sharp."
"Did you see it?"
Buffy snorted miserably. "I didn't have to, Wills. I felt it."
Spike's fingers stopped moving around her back. "Felt it?" Willow
whispered in horror.
"It was like I was...was inside her. WAS her. I felt everything
she did. Every emotion, touch, taste, sound...I never had that
before. I've usually just watched it, like a movie, or starred in
it as myself. Never had a first-hand experience, before."
"Thus the screaming," Spike said quietly as Buffy laid her head on
his chest.
"Yeah," she said, closing her eyes. "Thus the screaming."
Willow's frown deepened even more with another thought. "Silver
and curled, right? The dagger?"
Buffy nodded, sniffling. "It didn't feel that great in my gut,
trust me."
"Like the kind that...well, I-I guess what I'm trying to say is,
well, um, you know them, the uh..."
"The Bringers?" Buffy said without opening her eyes. "Yeah. I
know."
Willow swallowed, wishing she'd been wrong. "But it can't..."
"It is, pet," Spike said softly. "We're facin' the First again."
"This doesn't sound like old news to you guys," Willow said, her
frown returning.
Buffy sighed, feeling Spike shift his arms around her. Cool
fingers lightly caressed her face, wiping her silent tears of fear
away. "Whole reason she came home late last night was 'cause of
it. Know we didn't exactly tell you lot why, but we...we couldn't,
Red," Spike answered for Buffy. "We knew what might be
happenin' 'cause of Amanda. Lil' girl from Dawn's school? The
wanna-be Slayer? Started havin' nightmares 'bout different
girls, 'cept they all end the same way. Dagger from a cloaked
figure, blood and death, the end. We kinda figured out the rest
from that."
"Amanda," Buffy breathed suddenly, sitting upright in his
arms. "What if she...she felt those girls? Like I did?" Her eyes
went wide at the thought. "That poor girl," she whispered, before
bursting into tears. "She doesn't even understand why...that poor
girl...Amanda, Chloe, Annabelle, I'm sorry..."
Willow wrapped her arms around her sobbing friend, holding her
close as her own tears began to fall. Spike merely extended the
embrace, holding them all as they silently cried for what the future
now held.
Xander had been informed about the First's appearance the next day
when he visited, and when Spike went looking for his friend later,
he'd found the young man quietly sobbing on the back porch. The
vampire had comforted Xander as best he could, before they'd headed
back inside to face the others.
A comment from Tara saying that she was glad they'd come home
early reminded the time travelers of Willow's first return from
England, and what had happened there. They'd found Gnarl almost
ready to peel the skin from the first victim they remembered, and
had made sure that he'd been the last victim the demon had ever
eaten.
Amanda came in a few more times to confide her dreams to Buffy,
leaving with more calm than she'd entered with. Buffy warned the
others of any changes to the dreams, such as new girls dying, and
they finally decided to call Giles.
The Watcher was horrified at the news of the First Evil at large,
and he'd almost passed out when his charge had told him of the plans
the First was putting into effect. "I'll call the Council
immediately," he'd assured her. "We'd feared that this would one
day happen. Call if anything significantly terrible arises
concerning this new problem, and...well...we'll try our best," he'd
finished lamely. He'd made the suggestion for Willow to call the
coven and warn them as well of the war looming on the horizon. The
coven had promised to ready themselves, but before Willow had hung
up, Buffy had asked a favor.
"Start looking for the Potentials now," she'd requested. "We need
to find them well before the First does. We're already losing
girls; I'm not going to lose any more then I have to."
The coven had agreed, assuring the Slayer that they would call
with updates on Potentials.
It was Thursday again before Buffy knew it, and suddenly the
Slayer was wondering where exactly her week had gone to. She
sighed, waiting for the next student to arrive. It had been a
trying week, what with stopping demons, calling father-figures and
covens, and attempting to counsel, teach, learn, and patrol in a
day.
Trying week didn't even begin to cover it.
If she hadn't had the gang with her, she would've fallen apart
days, weeks, years ago. If it wasn't for Spike, she wouldn't be
alive at all. She smiled at the thought of him, before frowning
slightly. Something was different between them, but for the life of
her, she couldn't figure it out.
"You will, eventually."
Buffy blinked and looked up at the blonde in front of her. She
was about to say that she hadn't known that she'd voiced her
thoughts, but the blonde shook her off.
"You didn't say anything out loud. I just knew. It's kinda
creepy, when you know things like that, but you get used to it
eventually."
The blonde took a seat across from Buffy and smiled. "So, what
was time travel like? Anything like Einstein suggested it would
feel like?"
Buffy's jaw dropped onto the desk. "Cassie?"
"So...you're saying you know about what happened the first time
around, like we did?"
Cassie shook her head. "No. I just knew that you'd gone back in
time to fix things, and apparently were successful. I don't
remember anything from the 'first time around', as you call it; I
just know that you went back and started forward again. That's all."
Buffy stared at her, before breaking into a huge grin. "Wow.
It's been weird, seeing everyone I know without them knowing me, but
I know you and I can talk to you about it now, and that makes..."
She noticed the look on Cassie's face and grinned sheepishly. "That
makes me a really big babbler," she finished. "But what else do you
know? Do you know about...?"
"The apocalypse to come?" Cassie nodded. "Yes. A very large
yes. I don't know who's going to win. I wish I could tell you,"
she said apologetically.
Buffy waved her off, but couldn't help feeling slightly
disappointed. "Don't worry about it. We'll figure something out.
We always do."
Cassie smiled with a knowing nod. "Too bad I won't be there to
see it."
Buffy frowned. "What? Oh, right, you'll probably have left town
before it hits, right?"
But Cassie was already shaking her head. "No. I'll be dead. You
know that."
Silence reigned in the small cubicle. Buffy felt the room spin at
the simply said words. She 'did' remember what happened to Cassie;
she'd just forgotten all about it.
"Don't feel bad," Cassie said, as if reading the Slayer's
mind. "There's nothing you could or can do. It's just going to
happen."
"No, it doesn't have to," Buffy began. "I know what's gonna
cause..."
"Buffy, please," Cassie said quietly. "Don't make this harder."
"You don't have to die!"
Cassie sighed. "I knew it was going to be difficult to explain to
you, but I thought you'd understand. I'm sorry, but that's just the
future. I can't stop it."
"You're not even going to fight it?" Buffy said, shocked. Cassie
was just giving up without even trying to change things.
"You can't change the future," Cassie started, sounding angry, but
Buffy beat her to it.
"Actually, you can. Trust me, first hand experience there.
Besides, I kinda have the power you have: I can see what's going to
happen. I remember what happened from before. It was a heart
irregularity."
Cassie bit her lip. "It's been going through my family for ages.
It's genetic. I know you want to help, but you can't. This is
helpless." She stood, taking her bag with her. She began to head
for the door.
"Cassie, wait. Please."
Slowly the teen turned, tears burning in her eyes. "I wish this
could be changed," she said softly. "I wish it with all my heart.
But it just...'can't'. There's nothing I can do. Tomorrow night,
I'm going to die."
"Come over to my house tonight," Buffy pleaded. Cassie opened her
mouth to argue. "Please, Cassie. I have to know that I tried."
A pause, before Cassie nodded reluctantly. "I'll ask your sister
for directions," she said, before disappearing out the door.
Buffy stared at where Cassie had been moments before, then turned
to her phone. She quickly dialed her home number, and only had to
wait two rings before a familiar voice picked up. "Summers'
residence."
"Willow, I need a favor."
Chapter 8:
< --- >
The sisters reached home a good two hours before Cassie arrived.
Buffy had taken care of the demon worshiping boys before leaving
school, telling them that if they made any sacrifice to a demon on
school grounds, she would ensure that they not only got expelled,
but they would find themselves cursed by a very powerful witch.
They'd handed over their demon summoning tools immediately, before
practically fleeing the area. Power, Buffy had decided smugly, was
highly underrated and capable of accomplishing anything.
But was it enough to save Cassie? Buffy's thoughts withered as
she sat waiting for the teen. Was power, no, 'anything' strong
enough to save her? Maybe she'd been right; maybe the situation WAS
helpless. Cassie certainly hadn't been wrong the year before.
Still, Buffy couldn't stop hoping that something could be
changed. No one would suffer if she could help it. Besides, Cassie
had a gift that could help them save even more lives, and, just
maybe, the war as well.
"You can't change the future just because you changed the past."
Buffy sighed, glaring up at Cassie in mock-annoyance. "Could you
at least pretend to not know what I'm thinking?"
Cassie grinned. "I don't know what you're thinking, truth be
told. But I know the reason you asked me over, based on our talk
earlier. The look on your face was kinda a giveaway, too."
"Do you know what we're going to say right now, or what we're
going to do?" Xander asked, coming in with two cokes, offering the
teen one.
Cassie declined with a smile. "I don't get visions like that of
the future all the time. I don't know everything that's going to
happen. I get glimpses of certain things. Things I know I'm
powerless to stop, no matter what I do. And no, I don't know about
this conversation or afternoon in general. I just know I'm going to
die tomorrow. That's all."
Cassie missed the small shudder Xander gave at her calmly spoken
words, but Buffy didn't. "Powerless to stop?" she asked, as Dawn,
Spike, and Anya came in.
"No matter what I do," Cassie repeated. "And believe me, I've
tried. When I was younger, I saw that I was going to fall off my
bike and need stitches on my arm. So, I decided to not ride my bike
that day. Then, my friend came over and while we were chatting, I
decided to sit down on the seat of my bike. The stand wasn't all
the way down on my bike and I tumbled off onto one of my dad's
tools. So I didn't hinder anything at all; it just came around in a
different way then what I'd thought it originally would.
"I've learned now that I can at least be prepared. Like I saw
that on the way to school one day I was going to trip, so I brought
a band-aid along with me. For a test, I knew I would break the lead
on my pencil. I brought a spare. Little things like that. And
no," she said, as Buffy opened her mouth to speak, "I can't do
anything about this. Not death. I can't avoid it. I saw a
calender that said 'Friday' and then I died."
"How did you die, Cassie? How?" Buffy pushed.
Cassie sighed. "I felt a twinge of pain in my chest, and
then...everything went black. I felt my heart stop. I knew I was
gone."
Willow and Tara came down in the silence that followed her eerie
explanation. "Hi Cassie," Willow said, waving as best she could
while holding onto the multiple jars in her hands. Cassie smiled
and nodded at the two.
Tara gently set her load down, before turning to the teen. "We'd
like to try a spell involving you, if you don't mind."
Cassie shot Buffy a look. "Just let me try," the older Summers
pleaded quietly. The teen sighed, before turning back to the
witches.
"Go ahead," she said.
Willow and Tara arranged a circle of powders and plants, before
telling Cassie to step in. The witches themselves knelt on the
floor, one in front of Cassie, and one behind her. Willow pulled
out a spell book and whispered a small incantation in Latin, before
turning to Tara. Together the two murmured a chant.
'Eyes white as snow, show me,
Eyes black as night, show me,
Eyes gold and good, show me,
Eyes silver and bright, show me,
Show me what I delve to see,
Far beneath the skin,
Show me what I seek to see,
Far and deep within.'
A mixture of colored powders, white, black, gold and silver rose
to encircle Cassie, before all fading to a light blue. The powder
fell to the ground, leaving each witch staring at the other in
confusion.
"What's wrong?" Spike asked, sniffing the powders and grimacing.
"There's nothing wrong, that's what's wrong!" Willow burst
out. "It's not even finding anything wrong with her health!
But...but it can't...it means there's..."
"There's nothing wrong at all," Tara said absently, frowning
slightly at the powder.
Cassie stood, turning to Buffy. The Slayer slowly moved her
stricken look to the teen's sorrowful face. "Thank you for trying,"
Cassie said softly. "But I told you there's nothing you can do."
She turned, heading to recover her small purse.
Buffy began shaking her head rapidly. This was wrong. She was
just going to lose Cassie? "No. W-We can do something, find
something," she started, but one last look from Cassie silenced her.
"You carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, and yet you
seek to add more weight to your already straining back?" Cassie
asked, stepping over to the door. Staring out into the darkening
sky, she turned back once more to the silent Scoobies. Her face
softened as Buffy's eyes began to fill. "It's not your fault," she
said quietly. "This is how it's meant to be. I hate this as much
as you do, believe me. I want to travel the world, get a boyfriend,
go to the stupid winter formal. But I can't. There's nothing you
or I can do. You're not expected to save everyone, Buffy," and with
those last words she headed out.
Buffy stared at where Cassie had stood moments before, then
abruptly hurried up the stairs and to her room. Cassie had been
wrong; there was apparently one thing she could do about the
situation.
She could cry.
"Buffy? Luv?"
When he didn't get an answer, Spike opened the door softly,
finding Buffy seated on the bed. Slowly he made his way towards
her, sitting across from her in her window seat. "You wanna talk?"
he asked quietly.
Buffy chuckled bitterly. "What's to talk about? There's nothing
that can be done. You heard Cassie. She dies tomorrow night."
"Maybe not," a voice said from the doorway. Both blondes whipped
around to see Tara standing before them. The usually reserved witch
had her lips tightened and eyes glowing with excitement. Her voice
was firm as she said, "Let's head on downstairs. I'd like to show
everyone something."
As she turned to go Buffy and Spike exchanged surprised looks.
What had happened to the meek mousy Tara they'd first met all those
years ago? Not daring to question her they hurried down after the
witch, finding everyone else in the living room. The remains of the
spell still lay on the floor.
"Sweetie, what's going on?" Willow asked with a concerned frown.
Tara stopped directly in front of the powder and pointed at
it. "That. Care to tell me what's wrong with it?"
Buffy sighed. "Tara, there's nothing wrong with it. We went
through this, remember?"
"Nothing at all?"
Something in her tone made everyone inspect the powder again.
Brilliant blue shown back at them innocently.
Willow and Anya got it at the same time. "It's impossible," they
chorused unanimously.
"Why is it impossible?" Tara asked. "What exactly would that
suggest?"
"That she's perfect," Willow breathed, launching forward at her
lover. "Tara, you're a genius!"
The mousy Tara they all knew returned as she blushed
furiously. "I noticed it earlier, and I knew something was off. It
just took me awhile to figure it out."
"What color were you guys hoping for?" Xander asked, staring at
the blue again.
Willow shrugged. "We weren't sure exactly. Blue tinged with gray
is normal. The gray symbolizes injures, illnesses, anything wrong
with the human body. Green suggests that something isn't right
mentally, and purple suggests something wrong spiritually. Not so
much religiously as...emotionally, I suppose."
"What does red mean?" Dawn asked suddenly.
Willow frowned, exchanging glances with Tara. "Something bad;
something seriously wrong. Why do you ask?"
"Because that's the color of the powder right now," Dawn replied,
and instantly several heads lowered their gaze to the floor again.
The once blue powder was slowly transforming into a blood red hue,
with small black spots here and there. "What's black?" Xander
asked, sounding nervous.
"Magic," Anya answered softly. "Very powerful and dark magic.
Thus the darkness in the color. What I want to know is what we're
dealing with then."
"I think I can make a good guess," Buffy said through clenched
teeth.
Spike looked confused, before his eyes widened. "The First," he
breathed. "Oh hell."
"But why would it care about Cassie?" Dawn asked. "She's just a
teenage girl."
Buffy almost stopped breathing at her sister's words. No way...it
wasn't possible, was it? But maybe...just maybe...
"We're not done yet," Buffy said, assuming commander role. "Anya,
Tara, you two are on spell duty. I need a heavy duty protection
spell, and I need it by tomorrow night. Xander, Spike, you guys are
on weapons duty. Call the boys in for backup: we may get hit hard
and fast. We'll meet at the Magic Box after school hours."
"What about us?" Dawn asked for herself and Willow.
Buffy turned to the two girls. "You two are kinda working
together. Dawn will watch and protect, and Willow can double check."
"Double check what?" Willow asked, sounding thoroughly confused.
Buffy began to smile. They might have a chance, after
all. "Double check my guess. To do so, you'll need to call the
coven."
Chapter 9:
< --- >
Buffy tapped her foot impatiently against the tiled floor. Where
was her sister? They had little time as it was; being late would
just cut things even shorter. That was, if her guess was even
right. She could be completely wrong about this, and they would
wind up with a dead body on their hands. She shuddered slightly,
remembering the first time around, tears flowing down her face as
she held a limp Cassie in her arms.
But the powder incident from the day before had given her hope.
She had a feeling that if they won this battle, they had a better
chance of taking the war as well.
Footsteps hurried down the hallway, causing Buffy to look up into
three flushed faces. "We scooted as fast as we could," Dawn said
regretfully. "I know we're running low on time."
"Running low on time for what?"
Buffy sighed and turned to Cassie and Amanda. "For my theory,"
she said, watching their faces wrinkle in even more
bewilderment. "I'm sorry I can't explain this further right now,
but I need you guys to trust me. We need to get out of here, and
fast."
Amanda nodded, puzzled but willing. Cassie merely stared,
frowning slightly. "I have no idea what's going to happen," she
finally said, not looking very pleased with her own diagnosis.
Dawn swallowed, exchanging glances with her sister. "We don't,
either. But we've got a vague idea. C'mon; we've got half an hour
to get to our house and finish this."
The four hurried out to Buffy's car, and the minute they turned
onto the main road Buffy tossed the cell in Dawn's direction. "Call
Willow; tell her to start," she said. Dawn nodded and began
punching numbers.
As she relayed her sister's message to the witch, Buffy glanced
back to see Amanda and Cassie fidgeting nervously. Amanda looked
even paler than normal, and for the first time that Buffy could
remember Cassie looked worried. "Did she explain anything?" Buffy
asked, turning her gaze back to the road.
"Dawn? N-No; she just told us at lunch to stay after school and
stick with s-someone until she came to get us. Said it was
important."
Cassie looked up at Buffy, comprehension dawning on her. "You're
going to try again," she breathed.
Buffy nodded shortly, taking a sharp left.
"You're really not willing to lose the fight, are you?"
Buffy smiled, sparing a glance to the young blonde in the
back. "Not so much losing the fight as losing you." The Slayer
turned back to the road, but not before watching Cassie's face light
up with surprised joy and, for once, hope.
Dawn hung up, placing the cell in Buffy's purse. "She's getting
it ready; said we can start the moment we walk through the front
door."
Buffy nodded, before mouthing 'Amanda' to her sister. Dawn turned
to see her friend fidgeting with her hands, looking truly
frightened. The young Summers smiled slightly, reaching back for
one of Amanda's hands. "It's gonna be okay, I promise," Dawn said,
giving the girl silent support through a small hand squeeze.
Amanda looked up, trying to smile. "Does this have...is this
about the...the dreams?"
After a confirmation from her sister, Dawn nodded. "Yeah, it
does. We've got a lot of explaining to do, and we will. We
promise. But first, we have to get you guys to a safer place."
With a slight screeching of tires Buffy brought the car to a halt
outside their house. "This would be the safer place," she said,
cursing as she glanced at the clock. They were almost out of
time. "Everyone inside, now!"
The girls didn't need to be told twice. As fast as they could
they ran for the front door, hurrying in, only to stop dead in their
tracks at the sight of Willow and Tara on the floor, glowing.
"Whoa," Amanda muttered, her head whipping around as Buffy slammed
the door shut.
"Everyone here?" Willow asked, earning a frantic nod from her
friend. "Okay then, all in the living room."
Dawn hurried over to Jonathan, letting out a relieved sigh as he
pulled her into his arms. Xander and Anya stood by the doorway,
holding each other with one hand and weapons with the other. Buffy
ushered the girls towards the center of the witches' circle, before
flopping down onto the sofa next to Spike. Her eyes focused so
entirely on the two teenagers, she didn't even notice Spike flinch
when her hand reached out to grasp his.
Willow took hold of Tara's hands, forming a small circle around
the two girls. The witches began to chant softly, the glow
surrounding them spreading to cover the girls, before reaching out
across the entire room. With a small 'pop' the glowing stopped on
the borders of the room. Tara frowned, closing her eyes and
concentrating.
"Oh no," Dawn whispered, watching as a dark mist appeared and
began to push back against the golden glow. "Buffy, it's..."
"I know," Buffy replied, shivering at the sudden temperature drop
in the room. From the way everyone was shaking, she wasn't the only
one feeling chilled.
Willow and Tara were shaking for an entirely different reason,
however. The glow began to slowly recede back towards the witches,
and the two began to push even harder at the dark mist that
threatened to ensnare them.
Cassie and Amanda watched in amazed horror as the witches began to
tire, but still continued to fight against their enemy. These two
women, whom they hardly knew, were fighting with their own strength
to protect them, to stop the darkness from touching them. All
around them the others were suffering for them as well, freezing,
but not once submitting.
Amanda turned towards the dark mist, her tiny fists trembling with
rage. "Leave them alone!" she yelled, watching as the dark mist
continued to press towards her. But she was far too angry now to
feel afraid for her own safety. If anything, the dark mist not
paying any attention to her or her words pissed her off even more
so. "I order you to stop now!!"
'That' stopped the mist in its tracks, giving the witches time to
regroup for one last fight.
Amanda wasn't the only one standing in fury. Cassie eyed the dark
mist with smoldering hatred. "You're the one that wants me, aren't
you?" she hissed. "You're the one that's here to take my life, to
kill me. I've got news for you, you black worm; I've been given
back something I thought I would never have again: hope. A chance
to live. And I'm not going to let you take that from me!! I...am
going...to live!!!"
The dark mist had come to a complete halt, as if shocked by the
rage pouring from these two tiny girls.
The witches saw their chance, and slammed all their power into the
mist.
Everyone covered their ears as an unearthly shriek was heard, the
dark mist being overrun by the golden glow. Then, silence.
The glow began to wind through the house, before slowly beginning
to disappear. "Protection spell is in place," Willow panted,
seconds before falling onto the ground next to Tara.
It was only when Buffy pulled her hand away from Spike's that the
vampire realized he'd been grasping at her just as desperately as
she'd been grasping at him. He turned away, a quick glimpse of self-
loathing written across his face. Then, it was gone, and he was
turning back to the group with a small smile.
"Wow," Amanda breathed, the first to speak after Willow's
statement. Turning to her counselor, Amanda placed her hands on her
hips, looking like a teen confident and slightly ticked
off. "Where's my explanation?"
"Wow," Amanda said, gratefully taking the coke Xander offered
her. "So...I've got potential to be a Slayer?"
"You ARE a Potential," Dawn corrected. "Trust me. We called a
coven in England and had them do a search in Sunnydale for
Potentials."
"But that doesn't explain your theory you mentioned earlier,"
Cassie said with a frown.
Buffy nodded emphatically. "Oh yes it very much does. My theory
was that there was more than one Potential on the Hellmouth. I was
right," she said, looking down at the teen.
Cassie's eyes were wide with realization. "Me?!"
Anya nodded. "You."
"That's why that thing was after me," Cassie said, sitting back on
the sofa. She seemed calm once more, nothing like the furious teen
they'd witnessed earlier. She looked up at Buffy, who was standing
in front of her and Amanda. "Maybe that was why it happened like it
did before. Because you..." Buffy quickly nodded her head to
signify she understood Cassie's remark. 'Because we didn't know
about the Potentials earlier last time. Because we didn't get to
Cassie on time,' she finished for the teen in her head bitterly.
"Because she what?" Amanda asked, sounding and looking confused.
"We did a spell earlier, and w-we found out that she was supposed
to die, l-like Cassie had said she would," Willow stammered. The
group had decided to tell Amanda about Cassie's visions, but had
made a silent agreement not to tell about the time travel. At
least, not yet.
Amanda nodded, accepting that. Xander turned to Cassie, who was
smiling slightly, staring off into space. "For someone that told us
it was pointless to try and change things, you seemed pretty eager
to fight that dark...thing."
Cassie shrugged. "What can I say? I really want to go to the
winter formal."
As the gang laughed, Buffy caught sight of Spike heading
upstairs. She frowned at the haunted look on his face, and quietly
pulled herself out of the group to follow him.
She caught up with him at the top of the stairs. "What's wrong,
sweetie?" she asked softly.
Spike shook his head, muttering something under his breath. Her
frown deepening, Buffy tried again. "Spike, baby, talk to me," she
crooned, reaching out to caress his shoulder.
She stared, shocked, as he jerked away from her touch. "Spike?"
she asked, worried. What was going on?
"Stay away from me," he mumbled.
"Not gonna happen," she said, glaring at him as her temper
rose. "You've been like this for a few days now, and for the life
of me I can't figure out what's wrong. What's going on, Spike? I
can't fix this if you won't let me in," Buffy said, her voice
dropping to a quiet plea.
Spike glanced up, watching her spread her arms in a comforting
gesture, ready to welcome him. She was always ready to help him,
and he remembered a time when her touch was all he craved, all he
wished for.
But he couldn't do that now. He knew what would happen if he did.
Hardening his face and heart, he turned and walked away from her,
leaving Buffy staring after him in stunned silence. She closed her
eyes, hurt, feeling like someone had slapped her. Wished he had
done that instead of just shutting her down like that. Quietly she
headed back downstairs, trying not to let the tears fall.
"Hey you."
Buffy looked up at her two best friends, both of them wearing
identical sympathy looks. She said nothing, merely lowering her
head back into her hands, rubbing at her raw eyes.
She could hear the bumps as the kitchen chairs were pulled out,
then pulled back towards the table. Silence. "You wanna talk about
it?" Willow asked quietly.
Buffy shook her head.
A bigger hand gently wrapped its fingers around her palm, rubbing
soothing circles on her knuckles. "We're here when you need us,
Buff," Xander said, and those softly spoken words were all that was
needed to break the dam. Buffy began to cry, shoulders shaking as
she fought to stay in control.
Xander said nothing, merely reaching over to pull her to him.
Willow quietly slid out of her chair to join the embrace.
After Buffy's tears had quieted some, she pulled away to look her
friends in the eyes. "Let me guess: you want to know what
happened," she said bitterly.
"Might help, yeah," Xander said, releasing her so she could sit
down again.
Buffy sighed but launched into a short retelling of Spike's
behavior earlier that day. "Something was really bothering him, and
he wouldn't talk to me about it," Buffy finished quietly, sounding
hurt.
"Is that when he left?" Willow asked gently.
Buffy nodded, remembering miserably as Spike had headed out in
broad daylight, blanket tucked around his smoldering form as he'd
run out of the house. "Yeah. No goodbye, no explanation, nothing.
Just left."
"Men have to work things out differently than women sometimes,"
Xander offered, wincing at how lame his own statement
sounded. "Maybe he just wants...alone time. Time to think things
over. That's all."
"But that wouldn't explain why he pushed me away, told me to stay
away," Buffy argued. "It just...just...doesn't make sense. That's
all."
Xander and Willow exchanged helpless glances. There was really
nothing they could do. The only thing they could do was try and
cheer Buffy up. They made hot cocoa, and pulled out the cards,
making jokes to keep her smiling. They played Poker and Rummy until
well past midnight. When Spike still hadn't come home by one in the
morning, Buffy merely tossed her hand in and went to bed.
"Should we go look for him?" Anya whispered as the Slayer trudged
upstairs.
Her husband shook his head. "Spike hates to admit being weak to
anyone. So if he's feeling lost and helpless, he's going to lash
out. That's just how he is."
Dawn frowned. "But he got a soul! Isn't that supposed to make
him...I don't know, good-er than before?"
"Good-er," Willow snorted, rolling her eyes. "And you're in what
grade now?"
Dawn glared at her. "You know what I mean. But seriously, isn't
it supposed to...?"
Xander shook his head again. "We all have souls, and we all screw
up. It just makes him more...human, I suppose. Gives him back the
thing that the demon stole from him over a hundred years ago.
Another piece of William, I guess."
Everyone stared at him. "What?" Xander said, shifting
uncomfortably. "I've read the vampire lore books. I know what I'm
talking about."
"Scary," Willow teased, giggling as he reached over to flick her.
"But he'll be okay, right?" Dawn asked anxiously, biting her
bottom lip.
Tara sighed, the group serious once more. "I'm sure he'll be
fine. He'll come back, trust me. He loves your sister, and he
loves you too. He's not just going to abandon you two. I think
Xander's right: he just needs to work things out."
Dawn accepted that, albeit reluctantly, and the group called it a
night. As she headed for her room, she couldn't help but sneak a
peek into her sister's room. Maybe he'd come home through a window
and was curled up with Buffy: he'd done it millions of times before.
Her heart sank as she only saw one blonde in bed, and it sank a
little more at the red, tear-stained face her sister was now
sporting.
"Please Spike, be okay," she whispered. "Come home. I need you.
She needs you." She closed her sister's door before heading off to
open her own, wondering what was going on with her best friend.
Chapter 10:
--- >
Spike didn't come home during the night, nor during the next day
or evening. Buffy and the others combed the city, but found no
trace of him. With heavy hearts they trudged back to their
respective homes around midnight, their worry for the missing
vampire and friend escalating.
The Scoobies watched as over the course of one day the Slayer fell
apart. Xander badgered her because she skipped breakfast, and by
the time he convinced her to eat lunch, it was almost four in the
afternoon. The Slayer retired early, disappearing into her room the
minute they returned from patrol.
The sounds of the back door opening woke Dawn up in the middle of
the night. As quickly as she could she slid into her slippers,
happily heading down to welcome the vampire home, before giving him
a well-intentioned lecture.
She was disappointed to find no one downstairs. Creeping around
with no lights on, she soon found the source of the door-opening:
Buffy, sitting on the back porch. Her knees were drawn up to her
chest, and her arms were folded over her knees, making an excellent
pillow for her head.
Quietly her sister slipped out to join the distraught Slayer.
Dawn bit her lip, wondering what the best way to comfort her sister
was. "I'm sure he'll be back soon," she finally offered.
Silence from the Slayer.
Dawn sighed and took a seat next to her sister. "I'm sure he's
okay," she added softly.
"He wouldn't touch me," Buffy whispered suddenly. "I'd known
something was wrong between us, and I couldn't figure it out. I
know what it was now: he wouldn't touch me. It started out with
just no kissing, and then it was touches only for comfort, and
then...nothing. No touching. Nothing."
"Maybe he thought he had a rare skin disease," Dawn tried to
joke. She turned serious again while looking her sister over. "You
look tired."
A snort from Buffy. "Understatement much?"
"Then go back to bed; he'll come in when he comes home."
"It's not...I couldn't...couldn't sleep," the blonde said softly.
Dawn's eyes widened with sympathy and understanding. "Nightmare,
huh?"
Buffy nodded. "Did you...feel her again?" Dawn asked.
Buffy squeezed her eyes shut, but nodded again. Dawn swallowed.
"The nightmare was horrid as ever, but...that's not what hurt the
most. It was...there was no one to when I woke up, ready to
scream. There was no one to hold me," Buffy whispered, tears
managing to leak out through her clenched eyelids.
Dawn reached over, giving her sister a much needed hug. Buffy
merely leaned into her sister's embrace, wishing Spike was there to
comfort her. Wishing she knew where he even was. "Where is he?"
she whimpered.
Dawn sighed, swallowing past the lump in her throat. "I...I don't
know. I wish I did. Maybe he really left because he thought he'd
hurt you if he touched you," she quipped, trying to lighten the mood.
Buffy let herself smile slightly at her sister's attempts to cheer
her up, then let the smile drop as she put the words in a different
context. "Hurt me if he touched me?" she said out loud, half asking
herself.
"Buffy, I was joking," Dawn started, but Buffy shook her off,
sitting up.
"Maybe you were, but I think you hit on something," the Slayer
said, wiping her tears away. "The first time around, the First came
to Spike, got into his head and made him do terrible things. He
killed a lot of girls, even with the chip. We never figured out how
to stop it; we went back in time before the year ended.
"He spent a lot of time over the Hellmouth, when he first returned
from Africa. Half crazy from the soul, the other half crazy from
the First whispering in his ear. We think that's when it happened;
when the First took hold of Spike, that is. It had ample
opportunity to multiple times. He was over the Hellmouth for a long
time."
"Over the Hellmouth?" Dawn asked with a frown.
Their eyes met at the same time in realization. "The school,"
they breathed.
"We didn't look there," Dawn admitted.
"We're gonna now," Buffy said, jumping up. "Hurry up and get
dressed; we've got a vamp to find."
"I thought you wanted me to do a locating spell tomorrow?"
"Don't bother, Wills. I'm pretty sure I know where he is."
They stopped in front of the school, and Willow almost rolled her
eyes. "Is this the part where we should say "we should've known"?"
A green SUV pulled up, and Xander hurried over to the passenger
side, helping Anya out. "Quite the gentleman you have there, Anya,"
Tara teased.
Anya shrugged. "Took awhile to train him. Now, I believe we're
here to find someone else's gentleman?"
Xander took one look at the school and groaned. "I should've
known," he muttered, earning a grin from Willow.
"Told you," she whispered to Buffy.
Buffy shook her head. "Doesn't matter; we're heading into the
very place the Hellmouth lies under. I'm not taking any chances
here; we'll go in groups of three. Xander, stay with Anya and
Tara. Dawn, you're with me and Willow. Everyone got their cells?"
The group nodded. That had been one of the first things they'd
done before the summer had ended: they'd each gotten a cell phone
from the same company, with the added bonus of being able to make
free calls to other members with the same plan.
"Which groups are we in?" a voice said behind them. Dawn's smile
grew as Jonathan and Andrew headed over to join them.
"We didn't need everyone," Buffy said, glaring at her
sister. "We're just getting Spike, and getting out."
Dawn crossed her arms, glaring right back at her. "One, Spike
might not even be in there. And two, hello, Hellmouth? No taking
chances?"
Buffy sighed and threw her hands up in defeat. "Fine. Whatever.
Jonathan, with Xander." Dawn's gaze turned murderous. "You two are
really good sword-fighters; I need at least one of you per group.
It makes it fair," Buffy explained to her.
Dawn rolled her eyes but said nothing. Jonathan leaned forward to
place a chaste kiss on her cheek, and suddenly Dawn was all smiles
again.
"Let's go," Buffy said, trying to ignore her sister's earlier
words. 'Spike might not even be in there.' Well, maybe he
wasn't. "He has to be," she murmured. "He isn't anywhere else."
Armed with assorted weapons and flashlights, the Scoobies headed
into the school and down into the basement.
Scanning around the main area, the gang didn't see or hear a
thing. With dismay Buffy noted that she couldn't sense any vampires
around. She steeled herself, trying to keep an optimistic view:
there was a lot of basement to be covered. He could still be down
there.
"Split up, and be careful," Buffy said in a hushed tone. The rest
of the gang nodded, each heading their designated ways.
Andrew yawned, smiling sheepishly at the glares the others sent
them. "Sorry," he said, "Can't help it. I'm tired."
"Then why did you come in the first place?" Willow asked, waving
her flashlight over a dark corner. Nothing.
"Because I want to find Spike as much as everyone else does,"
Andrew said. He pouted slightly. "He's really cool, and he likes
those onion things down at the Bronze like I do. He understands my
British pop culture remarks. And he's a really good fighter.
So...yeah. I think he's great."
"That makes two of us," Buffy mumbled under her breath. She
groaned louder when they came to a fork in the pipe path.
"Now where?" Dawn asked gloomily.
Buffy was about to reply when the hairs on the back of her neck
stood on end. Her eyes widened as she looked to the right path.
She took a few steps towards the path, and the tingling sensation
blossomed into a familiar feeling. She began to smile, until her
face was threatening to crack.
"I'm gonna guess you found him," Willow said dryly, though she too
was grinning.
"I'm so gonna kick his ass for this," Dawn growled. Her eyes,
however, betrayed her, showing her relief and happiness.
Andrew pulled out his cell. "Should I call?" he asked, shaking
the tiny phone in his hand.
Buffy nodded absently, following the tugging feeling that would
lead her to her lover. Around and around the pipes, under a large
beam, through a doorway with no door, and...Buffy's heart jerked to
a halt as she stared at the prone figure on the floor.
His hair was unruly, his face haunted as he sat, curled up in a
corner, trying to make himself as tiny as possible. One look at him
told her that he hadn't fed since lunch the day he had left. His
eyes were blank and unseeing as he stared ahead at the wooden crates
in the opposite corner.
Buffy started towards him cautiously, waving Dawn back when the
teen tried to follow. As Willow took the teen in her arms, Buffy
slowly made her way towards Spike. Finally reaching him, she knelt
next to him and stretched her hand forward to touch him.
He jerked away from her violently, head cracking against the wall
in his desperate attempt to avoid her hands. His eyes widened as he
stared at her, widening even further at the sight of Willow and Dawn
in the doorway. He began to shake his head slowly, then sped up the
pace until Buffy was sure it was going to fly off his
shoulders. "No, no, nononono, weren't s'posed to find me down
here. S'posed to be safe, me down here."
Buffy winced, causing him to stare at her in slight
confusion. "Spike, I promise, I'm not going to hurt you," she said
softly. "None of us would dream of hurting..."
She was cut off by his hysterical laughter. "Not you, never you,"
he said, his bottom lip wobbling. "Me. M'the one you
should...should run from," he said in a hoarse
whisper. "M'dangerous, pet. Gonna kill, kill, kill, 'cause that's
all I do, a bad, bad, man," he whispered, and Buffy knew she was
losing him.
"No, Spike, sweetie..."
He shook his head, placing his shaking hands over his ears. "Not
listenin', can't, won't, shouldn't," he said, beginning to rock back
and forth.
Barely two nights over the Hellmouth had brought him to this.
Goddess, she should've known. Should've known to come looking down
here earlier. Should've thought of it sooner. But she hadn't.
Staring at him, she frowned suddenly at his rocking and mumbled
gibberish. It all seemed so...neat. The shaking seemed forced, and
there was a lucidity in his words that hadn't been there the first
time around. And he'd called her pet, she realized with a start.
That was something he hadn't done before, either.
When he realized she wasn't leaving, he turned to stare at her,
growling slightly. "Blood," he snarled. "Want the blood. Want to
taste it, let it run down my throat..." He morphed into game face,
leaning forward with a maniacal look on his face.
Maybe she was wrong about her theory. But there was only one way
to find out. Ignoring the sudden gasps from her friends, (who
appeared to all be there now), she tilted her head and bared her
throat to him, allowing him to drink if he pleased. An insane Spike
would drink her dry, then remember it later with grief and anguish.
A sane Spike wouldn't hurt her, even if his life depended on it.
He'd been only a few inches away from her face when she'd turned
her head away from him. With a cry Spike jumped away, immediately
switching back to his human face. "What are you..." he started,
staring at her in horror.
"I'm not stupid, Spike," she said triumphantly. "You're as sane
as you ever were."
"Hell of a way to find out," Xander muttered when he finally
allowed himself to breathe.
Buffy stood, slowly walking over to him. Spike began to crawl
away from her, into the corner he'd been staring at when she'd first
entered. "Stay away from me luv, please," he begged, tears filling
his eyes.
"Why?" she asked softly. Another step. Another crawl.
"I'm dangerous," he whimpered. "Buffy, I'm so sorry, but you're
not safe 'round me. None of you lot are."
"Because of the First?" she asked. "Maybe it won't have its hold
on you this time."
Spike swallowed as he was stopped by the wall, unable to crawl
further away from her. Buffy continued forward, slowly but steadily.
"You'll be safe with me," she said, trying to soothe him. "I
promised you, Spike. I won't let it touch you."
Spike shook his head. "Luv, please..."
"I'm not giving you up!" she yelled, making everyone jump. "Do
you hear me? I refuse to give you up to that thing, to anything!
You're mine, Spike," she added in a softer tone. "You're mine and
I'm not letting go."
His bottom lip wobbled as she knelt next to him again. "No," he
protested.
"Spike, please," she whispered, reaching out for him. Spike
whimpered, trying to retreat away from her touch.
"Buffy, no."
"Spike..."
"I'll hurt you again," he said, his voice wavering as he
desperately tried to shake her off.
"Spike..."
"I can't..."
"William, I love you," she whispered, finally managing to pull him
into her arms. That was all it took: with a whimper he leaned into
her chest, sobbing. She began to rub his back like he did so many
times when she was scared, when everything seemed so hopeless. Just
the one touch that proved to her that someone was still there for
her. Someone still cared for her.
"Shhh," she said softly. "You're all right. I promise. I'm not
letting go."
Chapter 11:
< --- >
It was nearly sunrise by the time they made it back to the house.
It seemed that for all the times Buffy hadn't been touched, Spike
was more than happy to make up for it now. Ever since the basement
he hadn't let go of her, clinging to her like a lost puppy.
Tara came over with a blanket, laying it on top of Spike, who was
curled up next to Buffy on the sofa. He offered her a wobbly smile,
which managed to straighten out just a little as she leaned down to
place a soft kiss on his forehead.
Buffy smiled and mouthed a 'thank you' to Tara. Tara merely
smiled and took her seat in the love seat she usually shared with
Willow.
With Anya right behind her, Willow came in bearing hot chocolate
for all and an extra cup of blood for Spike. "Thanks, Red," he
said, his voice raspy from crying.
She grinned. "Welcome. I also gave you the extra marshmallows,"
she added in a hush-hush tone. As a reward Spike managed to give
her a ghost of his trademark smirk.
"Double thanks, then."
Buffy turned to her lover, gently brushing stray curls away from
his face. Spike sighed happily and leaned into the touch. Buffy's
smile broadened, before she sighed herself, though not quite as
happily. "Wanna talk about the who, what, when, where, and why?"
Spike groaned, shutting his eyes tightly. "Do I have to?" he
said, sitting up a little more.
Buffy opened her mouth to reply, but Spike cut her off with a
small chuckle. "Rhetorical question, luv."
"Want us to leave?" Xander asked gently.
Spike glanced up at his friend, before shaking his head. "No;
probably should hear this, along with the apology you're all due.
But I appreciate the thought," he added with a small smile. He
frowned slightly, his fingers clenching against his palm. With a
smile of encouragement Buffy reached down and unfolded his fingers,
pulling his hand into hers.
Spike couldn't begin to count the ways he didn't deserve this
goddess. Deserve her affection, endurance, strength, and love. And
after everything he'd put her through, she was still standing by his
side, giving him all the strength he needed.
Giving her one last smile, he turned back to the group and
began. "The night after Buffy had that nightmare, 'I' had a
nightmare. I couldn't feel anythin' except for my own actions. You
were all there, and then..." He swallowed, transferring his gaze to
the floor. "Then it came," he continued in a quieter tone.
"The First?" Willow asked when the pause began to stretch on for
too long.
He nodded, cringing at the memory. "It...it grabbed me, and then
I felt...different, somehow. Went to ask Red and Glinda what I
should do, but when I got to them, I..." He closed his eyes, head
bowed in shame.
"Killed them?" Buffy supplied gently.
Spike only nodded.
"It was only a dream, sweetie," Willow offered. "We're both still
here."
"Weren't the last ones," he said suddenly, looking up at the
group. He glanced over at Xander and Anya. "You two went next.
Then you," he said, turning to look at Andrew. Andrew gulped.
Spike turned to Dawn and Jonathan, who were curled up on the
floor. "Killed him first," he said, "and made you watch. Then I
took you back to the house, killed you in front of Buffy."
"And then Buffy died," Xander said, before adding, "Again."
Buffy mock-glared at him, and Spike managed a small smile at the
look on her face. The smile faded as quickly as it had come, and he
turned back to the group, fiercely fighting the tears that now
glimmered in his eyes. "I felt everythin'," he said. "Everythin'
that I did, I could feel it like I was actually drainin' one of you,
or cuttin' another into bits."
Xander raised his hand. "Uh, the cutting into bits person; that
wasn't me, right?"
"Xander!!"
Spike laughed, brushing away his tears. "No, wasn't you," he
said, earning a sigh of relief from Xander. Spike's grin turned
wicked as he added, "Your fate was much worse, mate."
Xander's smile dropped at a record speed, before he turned to
glare at Spike. "Gee, thanks for the lovely dreams."
Anya smiled at her husband, rubbing his arms soothingly. "Don't
worry honey," she said in a calming tone. "When we get home, I'll
make you forget all about it in the most pleasurable of ways."
Buffy snickered as Xander's face turned a crimson red. Anya
turned to the group and gave them a wink Xander couldn't see,
eliciting more laughter from the gang, including Spike.
When the laughter died down, Spike sighed again. "Sorry I took
off on you. Made you all worry."
"I think we can understand why," Dawn assured him.
Buffy placed a soft kiss on his forehead, causing him to look up
at her. "Come to me next time, though, okay?" she said, trying to
smile through her worried expression.
Spike's response was to pull her into a bone-crushing
hug. "Promise?" she asked.
"Promise," he agreed, before asking for one last confirmation, "No
lettin' go?"
He could feel her smile against his neck as she whispered, "No
letting go."
During the next two weeks the gang dealt with several demons, one
wizard, and a familiar teenage boy set out to seduce the women
around him with his favorite jacket. Buffy managed to snag it
before Dawn or herself saw RJ in it, and quickly burned it. Another
wrong righted.
Giles called in during the two week period, stating that the
Council had only found volumes concerning the First's deeds. No
facts that Buffy and her Scoobies needed so desperately. Giles told
her to stay hopeful, however: the Council had only covered half of
their library. He promised to keep them updated and send the
reports on the First their way as soon as possible, hoping that they
might find a pattern of some sort.
Amanda and Cassie began to spend more time with the Scoobies,
until Xander finally suggested that they be handed the
official 'club rings'. Amanda had looked happy with that idea,
until Cassie had told her that they didn't have rings, and they
never would be getting them. "Damn that back order!" Xander had
said with a grin.
Though a lot of good and happiness was found in those two weeks,
the Scoobies also faced hardships. Buffy and Spike's sleep was
constantly disturbed with nightmares of slaughtered girls and
friends. They would sleep for a few hours each night, before the
dreams became too much. They'd wake and cling to each other,
feeling scared and helpless.
Buffy jumped as the front door slammed, then berated herself as
Amanda came in. This was stupid; there was nothing to be afraid
of. It was those damnable dreams that were keeping her on edge.
Spike's head had whipped towards the front door at the same time
Buffy jumped, and he'd turned away, looking shame-faced. "Bloody
coward," he muttered.
Buffy smiled and reached over, taking his hand in hers. When he
glanced up at her, she said, "That makes two of us then. We'll get
over this, I promise."
Spike returned her smile, giving her hand a gentle caress.
Amanda flopped onto the sofa with a heavy sigh. "Long day?"
Willow asked, noticing the tired look on her face.
Amanda nodded as enthusiastically as she could. "We had fire
drill in the middle of lunch."
Buffy groaned, leaning forward to press her forehead against
Spike's chest. "Don't remind me."
"That bad, huh?" Xander asked.
"Oh yeah, really bad," Dawn said, joining the group after waving a
hello to her friend. "We had noodles and mystery food flying
everywhere. The principal didn't look too thrilled."
"I think he was trying not to laugh when some of you came out
covered in your lunches," Buffy said. Spike snorted.
Dawn gave them both a mock glare. "Whatever. Anyways, fire drill
equals badness."
Amanda nodded again. "Then the pop quiz in science wasn't very
nice either. But coming over here to train makes things a little
better," she added with a tired smile.
"Good to hear, because we've got others training today too," Dawn
said, all smiles again.
"That would be a record of one point nine seconds for the mood
swing," Spike muttered under his breath, loud enough for only Buffy
to hear him. The others gave her raised eyebrows when she broke out
into giggles.
"New record," Spike explained to the others. Only Xander and
Willow got it, grins breaking out on their faces.
Dawn narrowed her eyes suspiciously at them all but said
nothing. "So, who's coming over? Other Potentials?" Amanda asked.
Dawn shook her head. "My boyfriend and his friend. Cassie might
come by later, but she had something she had to do beforehand."
"Are we the only Potentials?" Amanda asked with a small frown.
Buffy raised her head to shake it vigorously. "Trust me, a world
of no. You saw the other girls in your dreams; there's tons more
out there, all waiting to become Slayers."
Amanda continued to frown. "Are they safe?" she asked in a quiet
tone. "I-I mean, those guys looked pretty d-dangerous."
"Don't worry about it, sweetie," Tara soothed, before the teen
could really begin to work herself up. "We've got it covered."
Amanda nodded, not looking entirely convinced. Knocking at the
front door broke the sudden tension in the room. Dawn was up before
anyone could move, practically flying towards the front door.
Before she opened it, however, she smoothed her hair back and
brushed out the imaginary wrinkles in her shirt. Once she was
satisfied, she opened the door with a mature calmness. The
Scoobies, meanwhile, were trying not to laugh at her antics.
"Hi Jonathan," she said, letting her smile broaden. Jonathan's
own smile grew at the sight of his girlfriend in front of him.
Stepping forward, he placed a chaste kiss on her lips, earning a
full face blush from Dawn.
"Hey guys," he said, turning to the gang. While the others were
returning the greeting, Andrew slipped in.
Amanda offered a nervous smile to the two boys. "Jonathan, my
friend Amanda. Amanda, my boyfriend Jonathan," Dawn said, earning a
smile from Buffy. It appeared that Joyce's attempts to raise her
daughters as civilized ladies hadn't all been for nothing.
Jonathan nodded his greeting to her, and Amanda waved shyly,
before turning to the other boy. "That would be..." Anya started,
but Amanda's eyes suddenly widened.
"Andrew?!"
"Someone you apparently know," Anya finished.
Andrew jumped, his eyes finally landing on Amanda. He visibly
gulped. "Amanda, hey, good to see you," he said, laughing nervously.
Amanda quickly stood and stomped over to him. Andrew
cringed. "Don't hurt me badly," he whimpered.
Amanda glared at him, before poking him in the chest. "You didn't
return my D&D books!" she yelled, accentuating each word with a poke.
"I'm sorry?" Andrew said meekly.
The gang watched in amusement as the tiny, meek Amanda they were
so used to became a pissed-off professional in her element. "Those
D&D books aren't cheap! I even had to special order a few of those
books because the bookstore didn't stock them! And hello, I even
lent you my twelve sided die!!"
Andrew cowered, flinching as her voice began to rise. "I'll bring
them to you as quickly as I can, I promise," he offered, sighing in
relief as Amanda stepped down.
"You'd better, or I'm warning you, Andrew...!"
"Excuse my interruption, but how exactly do you know Andrew?"
Xander asked.
Amanda turned to him, rolling her eyes. "I've known him since we
were in seventh grade. We both joined a D&D club, and we've been
playing with each other ever since. There aren't many people around
here who'll actually play at slaying demons and conjuring spells.
Though," she added with a giggle, "I think I know why now. Might
have something to do with the fact that some people are really doing
these things, not just play-acting so."
"You lot ready to train, or are you thinkin' you'd like to kill
him first?" Spike asked her, a twinkle in his eye. Andrew gulped
again.
Amanda shook her head. "If I kill him, he won't be able to return
my things." Andrew relaxed with a small smile. "Wait; these are
the people I'm training with?"
Buffy nodded.
Amanda's smile turned downright wicked. "Then I'd like Andrew as
my sparring partner."