Chapter 10: Two ends to every rainbow

"Okay, you can take a break now Spike."

"Thank God." Spike rose from the floor panting from finishing his push-up's.

"Where are you going?" Hank asked seeing him leave in a hurry.

"Umm- I'm just going to that place you know-"

"Going to see Buffy?" Hank cut through his rambling.

"Yeah." Spike turned to leave, but Hank stood in his way.

"Is something wrong?"

"N-no…w-why would you think that?"

"You just weren’t concentrating today. Where did Buffy go?"

"Home," Spike answered without thinking.

"I see." Hank moved out of his way.

Spike moved quickly not wanting to give him anther chance to question him.

"Spike," he heard Hank calling behind him as he was about to walk trough the gym's door.

Hank gazed at him.

"I'm counting on you," he said calmly and added "don't let me down."

"Yeah." Spike glanced at him and left.

With Hank's words in his mind Spike realized, somewhere along the way that things had changed. It wasn't about the fight anymore, it wasn't about the title or the trophy.

For both of them, it all became about Buffy.

Bugger! Spike stood on the street outside of Hank's apartment. "Where could she be?" he thought. He looked down the deserted street. She wasn't home, and he had no clue where else to look. His mind started racing, thinking of possible scenarios given her state of mind. Where she could be and who she could be with…no,no,no…no way…

Starting to walk aimlessly, he raised his head as a couple of kids ran past him to the park. And then he spotted her, sitting on the bench, gazing blankly at the kids playing in the sand box. He watched her and approached slowly, knowing she had seen him the minute he made his move.

Playing it tough pet?

He stood by the bench gazing at her, watching her cold expression.

"How come I always have to chase you?"

"It seems like the natural order of things I guess," she replied, still looking into space.

"So, you always ditch a guy after shagging his brains out in the storeroom?"

He watched her face closely as he sat beside her.

"No actually…usually it's the other way around…" she muttered acridly.

"My, my Miss Summers, how many storeroom after-hours snogs have you had?"

Spike raised a brow playfully, but added quickly, "you better say just the one."

Buffy gazed at him and couldn't help smiling at his statement.

They stared at each other for a moment.

"Spike-" Buffy broke the silence.

"Don't-" Spike knelt before her watching her face soften.

"Don't bail on me now Summers, there are still many pages that need to be written about this steamy affair…we’re just at beginning luv," he smirked.

"Are we?" she scoffed playfully.

"Sure…and I'm not just saying it… there are rules to those fluffy romantic novels."

"What kind of rules?" she asked intrigued by his playfulness.

"Well at first, as you must know there's the introduction . " He took her hand and put his fingers between hers. "Two strangers live their separate lives, each of them miserable and alone, knowing nothing about the other…that’s of course until fate intervenes…"

Spike looked at their joined hands and continued. "Then begins the conflict, both hero and heroine trying to accept each other’s presence in their lives while fighting to achieve their individual goals..."

Buffy wanted to say something, but didn't stop him talking.

"But the conflict untangles as both of them realize they’re fighting for the same cause…losing themselves in a moment of climax which in our case I hope will be followed by many others-"

Buffy snorted in response.

"You're deranged."

"That's no news luv," he grinned.

Buffy's face turned serious. "Who's writing this story?"

"We are Buffy, we create our own destiny."

"And that destiny includes you dying fighting Combs?"

"No…because I'm going to win…and you are going be right there with me."

"I'm not going to watch you kill yourself," she murmured gazing away.

"What are you saying Buffy?" Spike look up at her, bemused.

"Spike-" she watched his face growing hard.

"Are you saying you’re not coming to the fight?" he asked already knowing the answer.

"I can't-"

Spike rose quickly, glancing away he brushed his hair back with his hand,

paused for a moment and then turned to her with a puzzled expression.

She couldn't figure.

"Alright, that's fine Summers, do what you want," he said calmly and added "hey…maybe you could spend a quiet night with the doctor watching the telly."

"You're mad" she stated.

"No I'm not mad, what makes you think that?"

"You doing that clenching teeth thing and you bounce when you talk."

"I do not bounce." Spike frowned.

"Like a school girl."

"Whatever." He turned to leave.

"Hey!" She stood before him, watching his face "I'm sorry"

Spike gazed at her for a moment and moved closer.

"Don't worry about it." He cupped her cheek, gazing at her melting into his touch, but couldn't help feeling completely at her mercy. Such a fool… he thought.

"I need to go back, Hank's waiting…see you later?" He dropped his hand, taking a step back.

"O-okay" Buffy mumbled.

But before she could say a word Spike walked past her, leaving her standing alone washed by a feeling of uncertainty.

What was she doing? Why was she lying in her bed in the middle of the day, reflecting on the last 24 hours? Was it really so important to her? Was it so important to Spike? Did the two of them need to spend this time apart, all because of a stupid argument? Not even an argument. Had she found Spike’s soft spot or was it all about the fight?

A tiny part of her couldn't help the feeling that maybe, just maybe, she’d made a mistake. She was sick of all the hurt and pain that always seem to be around her, following her. She now realized that her misery wasn't rooted in Sunnydale, or any other place else for that matter. It was her, she was doomed, doomed to bring bad luck to every one around her, that's why she didn't want to go to the fight. If she wasn’t there, it would be better. She held that thought and got out of bed, opened her closet and looked at the bag she’d come with from Sunnydale. No. She closed the door and just as she was about to open it again she heard a knock .

"Angel" she said beyond surprised.

"Hello Buffy," he said calmly. "Can I come in?"

"No," she replied harshly. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to apologise."

"Oh yeah, about what?" she raised a brow.

"Can I come in Buffy, just for a second?"

"Fine," she sighed and opened the door to him.

"I was misled Buffy," I shouldn't have believed my sources about Spike’s condition."

"That's a little convenient now." She crossed her arms.

"I know, I'm sorry."

"Is that all? 'cause I really don't feel like talking right now."

"What's wrong?" Angel got closer to her.

"Nothing that concerns you." She gave him a cold stare.

"Come on Buffy, you use to tell me everything."

"Past tense that is- "use to."

"Alright." Angel took a step back. "Anyway I just thought you should know I'm sorry

it was stupid really…" he added casually, "I guess that's what happens when you rely on boxers crazy ex-girlfriends."

"What are you talking about?"

"Drusilla, Spike's ex, she's the one who told me he has a heart problem. I guess she just wanted revenge or something, but since they’ve sorted things out…"

"I see." Buffy bit her lip and gazed down.

"Yep." Angel turned to the door. "Anyway Buff, I hope you'll forgive me." He put his hand on the knob. "And you know I’m always here for you."

Buffy continued nodding unable to believe her ears as Angel walked through the door.

"Help me out Spikey."

"I bought you the damn thing, you can fix it yourself." Spike looked at his friend who was trying to plug in the cd-player.

"What's with the attitude?" Gunn gazed at him. "First you hang up on me to talk with Dru, then Hank tells me you’re out for the smooches with Buffy, and now you bring me a gift. And you’re mad at me?"

"I have PMS."

"Where’s Buffy?"

"That's the question of the day," Spike muttered bitterly.

"Had a quarrel already, you guys are fast."

"Had something…don't know what it was." Looking up Spike sighed. "God, Gunn she’s driving me crazy."

"More than Dru?"

"No, no she’s nothing like Dru….She…she makes me..." Spike paused, gazing blankly into space.

"Makes you what?" Gunn approached him.

Spike looked at his friend, not sure what he was going to say.

"Forget it." Spike shook his head.

"Ho… come on, big bad." Gunn grinned. "Starting to be all sensitive are you?"

"Not bloody likely" Spike groused.

"Please…that girl’s had you wrapped around her little finger since the day you met."

Spike walked past him and took the cd-player directions in his hand.

"If you ask me, I think you guys are made for each other; have the same temper, same morbid quality.

"Well, no one asked you Charlie." Spike still looked hard at the directions. "And since when are you the man with the big words?"

"Got me a personality modification."

"Yeah great, stop it…what the bloody hell is this!" Suddenly Spike snapped.

"What? The directions" Gunn got closer to look over his shoulder.

"It's…what is that?" Spike moved it closer to his face.

"Chinese." Gunn pointed out.

"Well sorry mate, I don't know any bloody Chinese."

"That's why there's an English version on the back."

"Oh."

"Let's hope if you ever plan any kids with Buffy, they get her brains."

Spike frowned, glaring at his friend.

"Yeah you’re right, it doesn’t matter either way." Gunn smirked and walked away.

Perfect match

Hank sat in his office. He couldn't believe this was happening. Get a grip he told himself, the fight is in two days, can't do anything to mess that up, but Spike? As much as their relationship was solid , he know he couldn't control him, not when he set his mind to something, and who knew where his mind was these days? Who knew how he was going to react to this news.

"Someone died?" Spike stood by the door and watched Hank’s hard expression.

"Please tell me it isn't Combs." He entered the office. "I still need to put the wanker to sleep day after tomorrow."

"Spike." Hank sighed glancing at the phone he’d not so long ago hung up.

"What is it?" More bloody news , anther heart problem, Combs is gay, one of the Olsen twins got pregnant?…

"Buffy left."

"Huh?"

"Buffy, she went back to Sunnydale-"

Spike turned for the door before Hank could finish his sentence.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Hank got up from his chair and stopped him.

"I'm going to drag your crazy daughter back home, and make her deal with reality, Where is she? The bus station? When did she leave?"

"Spike relax, it's just for a few days she'll be at her friend Willow’s."

Spike put his fingers on his temples as if he was in agony.

"She told me she needed a break, I guessed it had something to do with the fight… I know she's a little difficult sometimes."

"Sometimes!" Spike snapped "she's been a pain in my arse since the day she arrived!"

Hank watched the vein on the young man temple grow bigger but still couldn't help but smile.

"You really like her."

"Could I be more bloody obvious?" He said in a more mellow tone, gazing down.

"She'll be back soon Spike." Hank tried to hold his gaze. "Meantime I don't want you to do anything stupid alright? Fight less then 48 hours, I need you prepared."

"Alright," Spike replied pliantly and opened the door. "I won't let you down Hank." He glanced in Hank's direction but didn't wait for his response, he just closed the door behind him, and walked out of the gym feeling the need to get as far as possible.

Did you want it to be like in those romantic novels?... where I sweep you off your feet and we sneak out because daddy doesn't approve 'cause I'm the wrong side of the track kidna guy who's gonna do all sort of nasty things to you?...Make you join me on the dark side where I think you belong, away from the sad bleak world you know? You'll leave your noble morals behind you and let me please you for eternity…

"Or you could just leave town." Spike lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply.

TBC

Chapter 11: Home

"There was a boy at the orphanage named Henri, bloody wanker he was , large bloke too, always use to beat me up after lunch, him and his pals, Always ganged up on me in some dark corner."

"Why?" she ran her finger along his naked chest.

"Dunno, maybe because I was short for my age, maybe because I wrote awful poetry, they really got their kicks from that one."

"Poor William." She smoothed the hair above his ear and nuzzled at his neck.

"Don't feel sorry for William luv, he got over that pretty fast," he whispered.

"When he discovered Spike?"

"Yeah"

"And Drusilla?" she asked dazedly.

"She's in the past pet, all there is now is Spike, Spike who's going to hold you in his arms forever." He tightened his arms around her body and kissed her temple.

"B-Buffy?"

"Huh?"

"Made you some tea." Willow put the glass on the table and sat beside her friend on the couch.

"Thanks Willow." Buffy gazed at her.

"What were you thinking about?"

"How are things between you and Oz?" she asked evasively.

"Somehow I don't think that was it." Willow smiled and paused wondering about her friend’s gloomy mood.

"What is it Buffy? I'm worried about you. I thought things were going well for you in L.A."

"They were…I mean they are." She sighed and looked around her friend's house. "So, who bought the house?"

"This one…it's on rent, you know I can't afford-"

"No…I-I meant the house on Revello," Buffy stuttered.

"Oh…I really don't know, but hey, we can check if you like-"

"No!, t-that's okay, better not to know anyway."

"It was your home Buffy, you have every right to-"

"Can we not talk about it?" Buffy got up from the couch and started to pace.

"Sure, whatever you want." Willow crossed her arms and gazed down.

"I'm sorry Will." Buffy walked across the room and sat beside her.

"I've being such a terrible friend, and yet you invite me to your home."

"And made you tea." Willow pouted gazing at her.

"And made me tea." Buffy smiled.

"It's about a guy isn't it?" Willow stated holding her gaze.

"What?" Buffy said, taken aback.

"I know you Buffy, you always said you wanted to get away from Sunnydale, and when you did I was sure you'd be happy. The only reason you’re here, is because it's familiar territory isn’t it? Something didn't go your way, right?"

"Make me sound bitchy much?"

"What was it?" Willow said with an inquiring stare.

"A guy." Buffy mumbled, embarrassed at how her friend could read her so well.

"Is he cute?" Willow wiggled an eyebrow.

"He's spiteful, stubborn, arrogant and obscene; he can act like a hyper 11 year old with the innocence that comes with it one moment and wrangle like a thug the other-"

Buffy gazed at her friend and continued ardently. "He’s devoted his whole life to being invincible, but instead of treating his body like a temple, he uses it as an ash-tray!"

Willow stared at her friend for a moment.

"Yeah…um, is he cute?"

"Wake up!" Gunn yelled in his friend's ear.

"Bloody hell!" Spike raised his head and blinked.

"You sure look like it."

"Thanks…now bugger off." He buried his face in the pillow.

"What are you doing sleeping in the middle of the day?"

"Don't have anything better to do." Spike mumbled.

"Yes you do, get up and get dressed, we’re going out."

"What are you, my bloody girlfriend?" Spike groused.

"Fine, you know what, I don't know why bother" Gunn turned to leave.

"Alright…" Spike got up and started picking up his clothes from the floor while cursing under his breath.

"Good" Gunn said glaring at the mess in his room, I’ll wait for you outside.

Willy's place was almost empty except for a few people that were sitting at the bar, and they all seemed occupied with watching the t.v in front of them.

"There's a game on," Gunn explained to his angry friend.

"We could have watched the bloody game at my house." Spike glared at him as they approached the bar.

"Please….and enjoy Spike-stench?, your place really needs a woman's touch."

"Like yours is any better-"

They both stopped as they heard two men sitting before them, talking.

"Imbecile…like all boxers are…I was doing him a favor and what did he do? He beat me up."

"It sounds like Combs wants to finished that Spike guy pretty bad, is he a threat? " the bartender said, joining in.

"Please…he wouldn't last in the ring for two seconds…I could finish him off myself."

"You would have liked that?" the bartender chuckled. "Huh Angel?"

"Angel?" Spike mumbled and saw the man turn to meet his gaze.

"Yes," Angel responded, but before he could figure who was standing before him, he felt a sharp pain as something hit his nose.

"Spike!" Gunn yelped and pushed his friend back to stop him from hitting Angel again.

"Fuck!" Angel got up from the floor. "You almost broke my nose, you idiot."

"I should have done much worse, you pillock" Spike narrowed his eyes at him.

Angel glared at him at the him for a minute, then came back to his senses.

"Spike is it? He said looking him up and down with a smirk.

"This is how you thank the man who tried to save you life?"

"More like tried to ruin my career." Spike tried to move towards him, but Gunn stopped him again, standing before him.

"Yeah… I guess you would see it like that." Angel’s smile grew bigger and he leaned back on the counter.

"Let's go Spike… he isn't worth it." Gunn tried to calm down his friend.

"Yeah Spike…. save your strength, you’re going to need it tomorrow." Angel said scornfully.

"You're next on the list."

"Maybe in the after life, but I get the feeling you'll be waiting a while. By the way , how's Buffy?"

"Don't you dare say her name."

"God….aren't we touchy….you know I really shouldn't have broken up with her, she became a hell of a woman. Saw her yesterday, did she tell you?"

"Come near her and I…"

"What? Ask your friend to come and restrain you?"

"I'll make you regret you don't have a heart problem."

The two exchanged stares, while the few guys by the bar watched them attentively.

"Come on Spike." Gunn pulled him by the arm and dragged him out of the pub.

"What the hell was that? The last thing you need is a bar fight."

"You don't know what I need." Spike paced and gazed back through the pub door.

"Look I understand that you’re pissed."

Spike snorted "I wish."

"I meant upset," Gunn corrected and sighed, wondering how to get through to Spike.

"You always find yourself in situations like this; you never stop to think what you're getting yourself into."

"I don't think you know what you getting yourself into…

Give in to me luv…and I will never let you go."

"Spike… Are you even listening to me?"

"Huh?"

"What's wrong with you? Where are your priorities?"

"I know, you’re right…I think I'll go home," Spike muttered not looking at his friend and turning to leave.

"So you just left, without talking to him about it?" Willow gave Buffy a long quizzical stare. As they both sat at the bench in her back yard.

"I needed some space." Buffy shrugged.

"You ran away."

Buffy stopped to think about her friend words.

"Buffy?" Willow held her gaze. "Did you believe what Angel said?"

"Of course not," she said quietly and shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

"So why did you leave?"

"I told you…I don't want to watch him fight. I-I think it's dangerous," she stuttered.

God that's sounds so lame Buffy thought to herself.

"Well you could just be there and stay home." Willow rolled her eyes, but then carefully watched her friend’s sulky face.

"Buffy…He’s a boxer, you knew that. Now, what this is really about?"

"He's going to die." Buffy stated firmly.

"What?" Willow glanced at her, puzzled.

"Everyone around me either dies, is miserable or turned evil."

"Do you have any idea how insane that sounds?"

"Well it's how It feels."

"Okay then, in which category do I fit in?"

Buffy gazed at her friend warily.

"Buffy…I know you’ve been through a lot. After last year you have every right to feel a little shaken, that's why what I'm going to say to you might sound a little harsh, but I'm going to say it anyway. Snap out of it!

"Excuse me?"

"You’re feeling sorry for yourself."

"I am not."

"Yes you are…and because you're not the only one who’s in control anymore…what do you do? You taking it back by leaving?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"This Spike guy you've been slandering for the last half hour, he must have some nice qualities too, right?"

"Sure."

"What are they?"

"Well I don't know. I mean, he's Spike, he's special, he cares about me a lot even though I haven't given him much reason to…if anything he should have hated my guts by now."

"Why?-what did you do?" Willow asked calmly.

"I told him to stay out of my business, kicked him in the crotch, almost broke his nose…then we actually got along… that is, until I told everybody he had a heart problem and almost ruined his career"

"Trying to keep busy?" Willow asked with a glint in her eye.

"L.A is pretty boring" Buffy stated.

"Dull…dull as the grass on Hyde park, with his hair sticking up and his namby pamby face. Bloody wanker….how-how could she been with a git like that?"

Spike emptied his glass, put it on the bar and gazed at the old man in front of him. "She's crazy you know, not as crazy as my last girlfriend, I’ll tell you that…but still a nutcase with a tragic taste in men…I mean one minute she’s with a ponce who treats her like trash and the next she find anther poofter who's supposedly saves lives…." Spike paused for a minute and said slowly "Makes me wonder, you know… why she’d ever fancy a bloke like me?"

"Who are you?" The old man asked.

"Exactly… Who am I...I don't know who I am anymore!"

The old man shook his head and turned away.

"There you are!" Gunn stood beside him , panting slightly.

"Charlie!" Spike yelled " Hey look everyone it's Charlie" Spike got up from his chair quickly only to fall in the man’s arms, giggling.

"Thanks Charlie boy." Spike stood leaning on his arm. "Where have you been? it's been almost two hours."

"Well I never would have left your side if I’d known you need a sitter. Didn't you say you were heading home?"

"I-I've changed my mind."

"I can see that, let's sober you up. Hank has been looking for you." Gunn put his hand on his friend’s shoulder and helped him get outside.

"Hank's mad?" Spike asked.

"Let just say you’ll be lucky if you live to see Combs tomorrow."

"Yeah lucky," Spike mumbled.

"You’re lucky you haven't had your eye poked out by now." She ran her finger along the scar of his eyebrow, as if she was reading Braille, her hands caressing his cheeks.

"What are you doing luv?"

"I just love looking at you," Buffy said watching his face.

"I love looking at you too," he murmured.

"It's late." Buffy sighed resting her forehead on his. "We’ve been talking all night. Well, most of the night" she corrected and smiled.

"Never done something like this before," she then added quietly.

"Me neither…tired pet?"

"Mm-mmm," she mumbled closing her eyes and melting in his embrace, but then she opened her eyes and gazed at him wearily.

"You think we covered everything?"

"I think we left out a thing or two we still don't know about each other" he chuckled lightly, "but it can wait until tomorrow yeah?"

"K" Buffy rested her sleepy head on his chest.

Spike shook his head, a smile curled on his lips as he dozed off.

Home

Chapter 12: You could make a killing

So strange, how he’d slipped into her heart without letting her know. He was a clever man her Spike, using clever words, but also who knew when to stop, let them sink in and take their course. Making her believe it was all just fun and games, but in the meantime staking his claim to her soul, entering her thoughts, burning himself into her mind. Knowing that when he got what he was after, her heart would never rest, would always want him close.

She was becoming addicted to his presence, and with every minute it became harder to let him go.

Could that be how he felt the about boxing, about fighting? What made him believe he was going to win if fate wasn't on his side?

"I like to look at the facts"

Stupid blond guy…

The hall was crowded and smoky, as to be expected and the noise echoed in his ears like never before. Although every yell, every cheer, became dim compared to the sharp pain in the back of his skull, but that wasn't the only pain he felt. Every inch of his body ached. He use to be indifferent to any sort of physical pain, but now…he just wanted the flaming waves to stop, he just wanted to let his body rest, maybe because somewhere in the back of his mind he believed he had already found peace.

"Yeah luv…I believe in fate"

Stupid words, just words they were. He took a deep breath and gazed at his rival sitting across the ring…like the poems I used to write, he said to himself. Actions spoke louder then words, and in life, every time he needed to be heard his fists never let him down, they talked loud and clear. On the other hand his words always were something to be mocked.

"Spike…Spike you hearing me?" Hank waved in front of him, while splashing drops of water over his face, talking as loudly as possible.

"You’re doing fine, son….keep your pecker up."

Spike seemed to regain focus and gave Hank a puzzled glare.

"What?" Hank frowned. "Heard you say it to Gunn"

"I was referring to something entirely different." Spike smiled lightly and glanced down.

"Yeah….I don't think Combs would appreciate that." Hank put his hand on his shoulder as both of them laughed, breaking the tension.

"One more round, you're doing just fine." Hank’s tone turned serious.

"How bad do I look?" Spike asked while taking a sip from his water.

"Let's just say you’re better off without a mirror."

The bell rang and they both glanced at each other. Spike got up ready for action, taking wary steps to the center of the ring.

"Keep your chin up Spike."

Spike heard Hank's yell through the voices of the crowd, but he didn't glance back, all that was important was the man in front of him, the man he was going to fight, the man he was going to defeat even if it cost him a head injury. Or even his life. Nothing was more important.

"How do you like the taste of blood Spike?" Combs asked as they circled the ring, watching each other movements.

"Suits me just fine," Spike muttered.

"Good." Combs lashed out at him, sending him a few swings, not giving him a chance to escape, he finally made contact with his face.

Spike fell back, but managed to keep his balance. Still on his feet he ducked Combs’ attempt to punch him again.

The hall filled with loud voices, yelling "come on, hit him"…"knock him down"…"what the fuck are you waiting for?, But just one word echoed in his mind - kill, kill, kill. He knew they wanted blood, they wanted more of his blood, Combs had already taken some pretty bad shots at him in the last round, and he was determined not to let it happen again.

He ducked Combs again quickly and started punching him, thanking his luck he was faster and smaller then his heavy rival.

"Yeah Spike." He heard Hank yell while he was sending Combs punch after punch, not blinking, not even breathing, he just gave in to his feral instincts and didn't stop, not until he was pushed back panting and frazzled. Combs didn't wait for him to recover and hit him again and again, until he fell to the floor.

Like a wounded animal, Spike tried to get up on but his weak legs failed him, he glanced towards the cheering crowed and through the haze of his agony tried to find a reason to go on and avoid the noises at the same time. Using his hands he lifted himself up, and steadied his quivering body, but just as he felt strong enough to continue, he fell back again, this time not from his rival’s blows but from sight in front of him that had almost the same effect.

"Buffy."

She was standing beside the ring, staring right at him, her stare so focused and intense, he couldn't have missed it, not even if there were more than a thousand people in the room, not even if they were naked. Buffy. .Her name slipped out of his mouth as a sigh, and that's when he was literally knocked to the ground.

"Oh God, Spike." Hank gazed down at the blond who was lying on the ground. He wasn't moving and Hank got quickly inside the ring and knelt next to him as questioning sounds came from the crowd. A mixture of excitement and confusion filled the air.

"Spike!" Hank gazed up and saw Buffy next to him.

"Spike…wake up!" she ran her hand over Spike's hair and shook him slightly.

"What wrong with him dad?" she gazed at Hank terrified.

"Move away please" A man her grabbed her arm.

"No wait-" she tried to push them away but she was pulled back.

Hank stood beside her and stopped her from approaching.

"What's wrong with him? Is he breathing? Is it his heart?" she asked glancing between the paramedic and her dad.

"Honey relax" Hank stroked her arm.

"Don't tell me to relax! .This is all your fault!"

"He's okay," they heard the paramedic say as he curved his neck towards them. "He's coming out of it," the medic stated calmly. "Need to take him back." Another man came and they lifted him up.

"Where do you think you're going?" Hank grabbed Buffy's arm.

"Where do you think?" she said harshly, glaring at him.

"No, no, no young lady…they going to take care of him, there's nothing you can do…just wait patiently Buffy."

"I can't believe you!" Buffy yelled into his face. "You knew he was going to get seriously injured and you still let him do it….is that what you wanted for me? Watching anther person I care about getting hurt?...Is that's why you approved this relationship?"

"Buffy what are you-?"

"I want to know why. Why did you asked me to come here?" she said in a strangled voice.

Hank didn't know what to say, Buffy stared at his face and paused for a few seconds.

"Y-You wanted this to happen…didn't you? Me and Spike?" Realization dawned on her.

"I was hoping, but I didn't think you'd be falling for him so fast really." Hank smiled inwardly. "Kinda reminded me of me and your mom, at the begining anyway."

"Spike is nothing like you," Buffy blurted out, but quickly regretted her words, gazing down ashamed.

"No, he isn't." Hank searched her eyes. "He's stronger." Hank sighed and added.

"And he’s never going to run away."

"I guess that's a Summers thing." Buffy calmed down and smiled at him slightly.

"Come here Buffy." Hank opened his arms to her.

"Christmas is coming soon," he said as he hugged her. Feeling that she wasn’t fighting his closeness, he tightened his grip around her. "We really should buy a tree."

"Yeah." Buffy closed her eyes and let her head fall onto his shoulder.

"I’ll let you and Spike choose," Hank said in her ear and heard her sigh.

Buffy entered the room and saw Spike, his face all swollen and bruised, his body bent, and it looked like the only thing keeping him from falling to the ground were his two trembling hands holding the bed on both sides of his body.

"Can I?" she took the gauze from the man before her without giving him a chance to answer and approached the wounded boxer gravely.

When she was close enough she notice he was gazing at her intently and she blinked at the sight of him. He was torn - it almost brought tears to her eyes, but she couldn't show him his effect on her so she quickly took the gauze and pressed it to his bruised lip.

Hard.

"Bloody hell" Spike yelped.

"Now you’re being a baby?" Buffy frowned.

"It stings." he narrowed his eyes at her.

"Good" she muttered and resumed nursing him.

Pressing the gauze to his face she watched him flinch again.

"Here I thought you'd be comfortable covered with all your sexy wounds" she teased.

"Yeah…I feel very sexy…" Spike shrugged, face falling.

Buffy sighed and dropped her hand gazing at him, he seemed ashamed letting her see him like that, as if he was trying to process words fitting to that moment.

"Thought you wouldn't come to watch me kill myself." He repeated her words and gazed away.

"I've changed my mind."

"Why?"

"Get your ass back to L.A before I fly it there."

Buffy remembered her redheaded friend’s words. She really became an assertive person. Since when did Willow hold so much power? Who knew?

"I realized that by watching, I'm actually helping you not kill yourself."

"By sending a stare that knocked me off my feet?" Spike gazed into her eyes.

"It's my special skill." A slow grin spread across her face.

"Then maybe you should have aimed your pretty eyes at Combs?"

"Sure you would have wanted that?" she asked with a leer.

"Buffy" Spike gasped watching her close the gap between them, parting her lips and staring at him.

Buffy watched his eyes light up as she breathed onto his face.

"I would have stopped you from fighting, you know, .if you haven't beaten me to it."

"Think you have that much power over me, pet?" he whispered.

Buffy gave him a wicked smile.

"You know I do." She kissed him softly, letting her lips linger on his mouth.

"Are we alright then?" Spike broke the kiss.

"I don't know…are we?" she asked indecisively, pulling back.

"You ran away," he scolded her.

"I did."

"Are you planning on doing that a lot?"

"No," she pouted.

"Good" Spike gave her a hard stare, "because I'm not going to let you play me, I've got my pride, you know."

"I'm sorry," Buffy said in a low voice, staring at him with puppy-dog eyes.

"Let's get out of here." Spike got slowly to his feet, knowing that he couldn’t continue this conversation with people watching.

"Where do you two think you're going?" Hank caught them in the hallway.

"Home," Spike said and continued walking wearily with Buffy under his arm holding him.

"Okay, but take this." Hank handed him a bottle of pain killers.

"Thanks dad." Buffy took it from him and gave him a slow smile.

"Yeah, thanks Hank." Spike lowered his gaze, feeling ashamed for not keeping his word.

"I'm proud of you son," Hank muttered and turned away.

"Let's go." Buffy gazed at Spike’s stunned face, and knew she needed to distract him from thinking about the fight. Spike nodded and continued walking down the hall.

A crowed of people were standing near the exit, and not so far from them a man was leaning against the wall, surrounded by smoke from his cigarette.

"Nice show Spiky."

Spike recognized the voice from the day before; he quickly turned to face him.

"Angel." Buffy was surprised to see him and more so when she saw Spike approach him angrily.

"No Spike." She held him back.

"Now you've got a woman to carry you, what's next Willy? Send her to fight for you?"

"Spike," Buffy murmured gazing into his face. "Don't listen to him."

Spike gave Angel a sharp glance and turned away, letting Buffy lead.

"That's right, go bleached boy." Angel watched them leaving and added, "hey Buff! if ever want a real man, you know where to find me."

Buffy gazed at him sideways and muttered.

"There's nothing real about you Angel."

Spike's place was trashed and cold. Buffy wanted to help him get inside, but as they walked up the stairs he’d already told her he was fine by himself. He hadn't said a word all the way back and she thought maybe he didn't wanted to talk in the cab, or maybe he was embarrassed because after all, no man takes defeat lightly. .And certainly not Spike. Not after everything she’d learned about him. He was a proud man, mostly because he felt so vulnerable in the world, but if only he knew the power he held inside, the power he held with his words. If only she could let him know.

They stood in the middle of the living room in silence and squinted at each other, not sure what to say, not sure how to begin.

"You should rest." Buffy watched him struggling to stand straight.

"Buffy." Spike paused as if he was about to say something important.

"We can talk later Spike." She reached to hold his shoulder, but he grabbed her hand and gazed at her face.

"I've missed you."

Buffy brought her hand slowly to his face and cupped his cheek.

"I wasn't gone so long." she smiled at him softly.

"I thought-…god I'm such a git." He stopped himself, looking away.

Buffy took his hand. "Come here" She turned her back to the bedroom and pulled his hand not taking her eyes from him. "There's something I want to show you," she said quietly.

"Luv?" Spike asked inaudibly, but still followed.

"Don't worry Spike," Buffy smirked. "I'm not planning on hurting you….much." She repeated his words with an amused tone.

"You remember every single thing I say to you?" Spike watched her as she stood at the edge of his bed.

"Just the dirty stuff," Buffy joked.

"You like the dirty stuff huh?" Spike wiggled his eyebrow" Y- you little min-"

"Shut up Spike and lie down," Buffy groused impatiently.

"Alright…. bossy chit." Spike murmured and lay on the bed.

Feeling the soft mattress beneath him, Spike couldn’t help sighing in relief. He wasn't aware of the pain he'd been repressing. His bones felt heavy as bricks and every breath he took made him feel a sharp stinging in his chest.

Buffy took off his shoes and crawled up his body to look at him. She shuddered at the sight of his bruised face, but the thought of the rest of his wounded body hadn't crossed her mind until that moment. She slowly began taking off his shirt, glancing briefly at his face.

Spike just watched her silently, amazed by the tenderness she was showing him.

Is this what you wanted to show my? My angel…

Alarmed, Buffy peeled away his shirt, revealing his pale skin. She gazed at his chest and ran her hand slowly along his black and blue bruises, causing him to flinch uncomfortably on the bed.

She pulled back and gazed at him, his eyes were closed, but it looked as if he was about to say something. She didn't wait to hear him and leaned to shower his chest with light kisses.

Pulling down, she lingered on his navel while her hands started pushing down his pants.

"Buffy." Spike gasped as if her touch caused him more pain then he was already feeling.

Buffy gazed up to meet his eyes.

"Missed you so bloody much," he said in a low voice and watched her as she smiled and pulled the rest of his shorts off.

Buffy pulled her dress over her head and threw it on the side of the bed.

"My beautiful angel," Spike murmured as she paused to gaze at him right before resuming kissing his chest.

Spike wanted to watch her body move, touch her, worship her, but he couldn't move, he was weak and besides Buffy's kisses and caress felt too damn good.

"Does that hurt?" Buffy leaned across his body and kissed his neck, her arms closing around him.

"No," he lied conflicted by the feeling of pleasure and pain.

Nestling onto his lap, Buffy continue kissing him, brushing her lips over his delicate skin and moving her hand down his stomach.

"Buffy," Spike breathed over her face right before she moved down to his thigh, her hands resting on each side of his body.

"I need-" he panted feeling her thighs brushing against him.

"What do you need?" Buffy whispered and tugged on his boxers.

"Bourbon" Spike replied.

"Bourbon?" Buffy gazed at him bemused.

"T-there's a bottle… at the side of the bed," he said stuttering, gazing away, trying to control the pain that washed over him.

"O-okay" Buffy reached her hand and brought him the bottle.

"Only because you're hurt." she said sitting on his lap.

"It’s for medical reasons only luv," he grinned.

"Whatever," she pouted, feeling a bit disappointed and watching him hold the flask in his hand as he paused to look at her.

"Well?" Buffy grumbled. "Aren't you gonna drink it?"

Spike gazed at the bottle in his hand for a moment and then tossed it aside.

"Come here." he pulled her to rest beside him.

"There's something I want to tell you," he said quietly glaring at her face and pausing.

"What is it?" she asked curiously, watching him closely.

Spike took his time thinking carefully about what he was about to say.

"So," Buffy urged him on.

"Umm…" he mumbled.

"Spike?"

"God woman! Don't rush me."

"It's kinda hard looking at your face right now," Buffy replied cannily.

"Fine…Forget it," he groused and turned his back at her.

Buffy sighed, men can be such babies.

She spooned herself behind him, resting her chin on his shoulder.

"What did you want to tell me?" she said huskily, stroking his arm.

"You're an irritating little bitch, Summers," Spike muttered under his breath and closed his eyes.

"That's what you wanted to tell me?" she raised her head angrily, waiting for his response.

She squinted at him and saw he wasn't even trying to look at her.

Is he ignoring me?

Baby…

She waited a minute and then brought her hand in front of his face. When she saw he wasn't even blinking she realized he’d probably fallen asleep. Exhausted, she thought and no wonder considering.

She leaned back onto the mattress and decided she should probably rest her eyes as well. She had, after all, had a long drive and no rest at all the last two days…

She turned onto her side and gazed at his neck.

Gorgeous neck…like the rest of him… Sleepy Gorgeous Spike…

"I love you."

"What?" Sahe was taken back by the low murmur in her ear, her wide eyes still fixed on his neck.

"You bloody well heard me," Spike mumbled wearily into the pillow.

A few seconds passed by and then Spike groused.

"Well… aren't you gonna say something?"

"Willow was right," Buffy muttered coming to her senses.

"Willow?" Spike turn to look at her.

Buffy gazed at Spike's eyes mesmerized by the intensity of his stare, knowing that even at that moment when he was weak and beaten, he could have won her heart all over again with just one glance.

"Right before I left… she said I don't have a home in Sunnydale anymore." Buffy looked down.

"That's a bit harsh." Spike pushed back a lock of hair from her face and watched her attentively.

"It true…'cause now I have a home…with dad…A-and you," she murmured bashfully and gazed up to meet his stare.

"That's how you feel pet?"

"Yeah…and I-" Buffy paused breathing deeply, feeling how the room had suddenly become extremely quiet.

Looking at her puzzled face Spike decided not to wait for her words and leaned over to kiss her gently.

"Not gonna let me finish?" Buffy broke the kiss.

"I’d rather move to the many climaxes part," he smirked.

"You're changing the rules?" Buffy asked playfully.

"Rebel here, normal rules do not apply," Spike said huskily and stroked his hand along her thigh. "If anything, they were made to be broken." He wiggled an eyebrow.

"You’re so full of it."

"I am pet, but just be gentle with it." He gave her a peck on the lips.

"Hopeless," Buffy said short of breath, feeling his hand working his magic on her.

"You know it," Spike whispered and captured her lips again, feeling her moaning into his mouth, knowing her sigh meant - I Love you.

One year later…

It was late at the evening and Buffy tossed and turned on the bed, trying to find a comfortable position she could sleep in. "Guh stop it" she grumbled under her breath and turned onto her back to gaze at the ceiling. "Why are you always doing it when he's away?" she ran her hand over her stomach. "Umm?" she murmured as if she was expecting an answer. "Mommy made daddy go to AA meeting with grandpa because daddy has a bad habit he need to take care of." She then turned onto her side and settled slowly onto the bed. "And if mommy doesn’t get some sleep she's gonna pick up some bad habits of her own," she said wearily and looked at the clock next to the bed.

Buffy took her eyes from the clock as she heard a noise at the door. "Thank God," she sighed in relief, and got up.

"Hi big mama." Spike walked in the living room.

"It's almost eleven."

"I know…sorry luv." Spike approached her with a smile on his face and she noticed his hand behind his back.

"I know that face, what did you do?"

"Nothing" he said innocently. "How's Billy?" he looked at her belly.

"It's Lizzy and she's kicking," she said as he reached his hand to caress her stomach.

"Can't blame me ...must have learn that from her mom" he wink at her.

"You're too happy, did they sink in booze at the AA meeting?"

Spike face fell. "Do I really need to go? That was bloody terrible."

"I wanted you to know what to expect if you keep drinking."

"I think I've learned my lesson."

"Good, now what did you bring me?" Buffy tried to look behind his back.

"Who said it's for you" Spike teased.

"Come on," Buffy pouted trying to look behind his back as he tried to hide the bag from her.

Buffy finally snapped at him when he kept hiding it.

"If you don't show me what's in the bag I'm gonna kick your ass."

Spike smirked at that.

"I just offered a kid some candy didn't I?" Buffy said glaring at his smug face.

"More like asked him to go trick or treating," Spike replied, amused, and opened the bag and brought the box in front of her face.

"Yay my favorites" Buffy said as she unwrapped the box quickly.

Spike watched her face light up and a warm feeling washed over him, like her smile always did.

"Can I have some? Didn't eat dinner," he asked playfully.

"Get your own." Buffy shrugged and put a cookie in her mouth.

"No boxing, no drinking, no smoking and now no cookies?" Spike pouted.

"It's not my fault you preferred knocking me up then knocking people unconscious."

"Very funny…"Spike knelt in front of her and touched her stomach. "You hear that Billy? Don't have your mom’s sense of humor."

"It's Lizzy" Buffy muttered, chewing the cookie.

Spike gaze up to her.

"We'll see," he said smiling, feeling happy then he'd ever been.

THE END.