Title: The Trouble with Nightmares
Author: Nightmelody
nightmelody@hotmail.com
Summary: Following events of ‘Afterlife,’early season six. Buffy feels unsafe,
and can’t sleep unless Spike is with her. Shortfic.
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: Mutant Enemy owns the characters and BTVS. Just playing with words.
The Trouble with Nightmares
Buffy went up to bed shortly after all the Scoobies arrived. Dawn helped her
find pajamas and towels, and stayed with her while she settled into bed, looking
lost and fragile.
“I’m so tired,” Buffy said. “But I don’t think I can sleep. It’s too...scary,
and jumpy.”
“I could sleep in here with you, if you want. I wouldn’t mind.” Dawn said.
“Where did Spike go?”
“Probably back to his crypt. Do you want him?”
Buffy nodded. “I know I could sleep if he was here. He’s really strong.”
“He is. And he cares for you. For me, too”
“Yes.”
“I’ll send Xander to get him.”
Xander protested at first, but Willow made him go.
“She’s been in a hell dimension, I’m sure it is hard for her to relax. Spike is
strong. And if that will help her, well, she deserves it.”
Spike came willingly enough, and Dawn ushered him upstairs to reassure Buffy
while the others went about their business of getting to bed themselves.
“I’ll just sleep on the couch then, all right?” Spike asked.
But Buffy shook her head, her eyes huge. “Stay here? With me?” She patted the
bed, and then rolled onto her side, her back to him, on the edge of the bed.
“Sure.” Spike sat on the bed, thrilled to be near her, while she drifted off to
sleep.
So the pattern was established. Every night after patrol, Spike would slip into
Buffy’s room and lie next to her on the small bed, while she slept. Shortly
before dawn he would creep back to his crypt and fall exhausted into his own
bed.
He couldn’t sleep next to her, of course. He spent every night in a sexual daze,
concentrating on not touching her, not touching that soft golden skin, not
touching those delicious curves . . . Once or twice a night he would slip into
the closet and relieve the huge aching erection he had from being with her,
alone in her bed.
Once in a while, after he’d returned from the closet, he could trust himself to
touch her, just a little. He’d bury his face in her soft hair, drown in her
scent. Or gently draw his fingers over an arm or face. That would send him into
a fever of arousal again. On nights like that he would creep from her room just
before dawn, shaking, exhausted, and disgusted with himself.
Buffy became aware of his visits to the closet couple months after her return.
Finally one night–they’d only been in bed a little more than an hour–she
pretended to sleep, keeping her breathing steady. Spike slipped into her closet.
She knew he wasn’t smoking, and why would he need to hide to drink? When he came
back to bed, she leaped on him, imprisoning his wrists.
“What are you doing in my closet?”
“Huh?” Spike gave her his dumb and innocent face. “What, you’re afraid I’m
touching your precious togs?”
She glared at him.
“Just wanted to be alone a minute.”
“It was longer than a minute. And you do it all the time.”
“Sorry, slayer, I’ll try not to wake you.”
“But what do you do in there?”
Spike growled and broke free, rolling so his back was to her.
“Nothing important. Now, lets go to sleep.”
“I want to know!”
Spike sighed. “No, you really don’t.”
She rolled him back over and straddled him, once again grabbing his wrists. She
expected him to fight her off, but he didn’t move. Instead he squeezed his eyes
shut and drew in a sharp breath, a shiver running through his whole body. Then
he frowned, trying to mask the desire that was probably shining in his eyes with
the scowl.
“You have a headache, Spikey?” She spoke in her bitchiest tone.
His eyes snapped open , ablaze with anger. “Yeah, but it’s not the head you’re
looking at that aches.”
It took her a moment to figure out what he meant.
“Eeww, gross, Spike.” She flipped off of him.
His head jerked in reaction. “Not gross.” He shot back. “Just. . . the way it
is. Natural, with us being in bed together night after night. You. . . get to
me.”
She thought for a moment. “You mean, you--? In the closet?
“What do you think?” .
“Three times a night?” She squealed.
Spike was scowling, now. “Sorry. Can’t help it. Vampire stamina and all. Felt
like that about you for a long time. You knew that.”
“Well, I forgot.”
“Well, I can’t forget.” He leaped up and dragged on his coat. “I’ll leave.”
“Wait!” She grabbed his arm. “Did you touch me? When I was sleeping?
“Sometimes. Sometimes I touched your hair, or the skin on your arm, or face..”
His fingers trailed along the edge of her hair and then lightly stoked her
cheek.
“You ever do anything. . . nasty?”
He didn’t speak until she stamped her foot in rage.
“All right! One time you snuggled against me. You know, your ass against my . .
.” He swallowed hard. “ I kind of lost it for a minute. Thrust against you. Just
for a little while.”
“Then you just , just-- stopped?” She asked, skeptical.
He shrugged.
Her eyes grew huge.“You CAME?”
“Well, duh. After that I stayed at my crypt for a few nights, but you had
another nightmare.”
“That’s all the touching?”
He shrugged. “I peeked, didn’t touch, though.”
“Peeked?”
“Sometimes your top gapped, so I could see. And a couple of times I lifted your
waist band to see your--”
She punched him.
“It was worth it!” He fired back “A bloke could go crazy, wanting but never even
seeing. . . at least I saw what I was missing.” He got up in one fluid motion
and stalked up to her.
“You think I’m so evil?” He growled, right in her face. “ You think the whelp
would have handled it any better? Night after night?” He snorted. “Even your
precious watcher would be getting a woody if he had to stay in bed with you
every night.”
“Jeez, Spike. You’re pathetic. You need a girl friend.” She hated it when he
made sense.
“Yeah, you know what? I do. I haven’t got laid in ages, babysitting your ass all
the time. So that’s what I’m going to do, right now. Clubs will be open for
hours. Thanks for the great suggestion.”
He slammed out of her room and left on his motorbike.
Buffy tried to sleep, but her mind kept whirling around with thoughts about
Spike.
She’d known he was in love with her. Somehow, she had just forgotten the sexual
connection. He’d been so sweet to her since she came back, not flirty or sexy.
But she should have remembered about the Buffybot. He’d had all kinds of
perverted sex with it.
Even farther back, when Willow had done that stupid spell when they thought they
were engaged, he’d been crazy for her. He’d kissed her like a starving man, she
remembered. And he had whispered the things he wanted to do with her, how she
made him feel. “The watcher will go to sleep tonight, and we can be alone,” He
groaned in her ear, his hands everywhere.
“Sure. We can make out when he goes to sleep.”
He gave a whispery groan and bit her ear, and she felt his whole body quiver.
And he’d been sleeping with her in this narrow bed for months. So he probably
had shown a lot of restraint, going into the closet to relieve himself. She had
noticed a lot of tissues in the small waste basket the last time she’d
straightened up the room, but hadn’t made any connection.
She shouldn’t have hit him. He’d really been pretty. . . decent. For a vampire.
A vampire in love
She owed him an apology.
She called the Bronze, figuring that was the likeliest place to find a girl, and
asked for him.
It took a while, but he came on the line. “What?” He barked.
“It’s Buffy. I... I just wanted to apologize. For hitting you, and stuff. You. .
. you didn’t really do anything wrong.”
“Yeah.” He gave a loud sigh. “Well, I am going to stay in the crypt for awhile.
Maybe we can get a pager or a cell phone, so you could get ahold of me when you
have a bad dream. Only take me five minutes to get there on my bike. Less,
maybe.”
“Have. . . have you met somebody? A girl?”
“Met lots of girls. Meeting girls isn’t my problem, y’know?” He hung up on her.
Buffy stared at the phone in astonishment. He hung up on her. And he was going
to have sex with some girl.
And the girl would probably totally fall in love with him, because he did look
like an angel. Not to mention the to-die-for body. And he could kiss! She
remembered that from their ‘engagement’. Probably did the other stuff well, too.
Over a hundred years of experience.
And he’d been devoted tp Druscilla. Attentive, caring. How many girls would be
blown away by just a little of that??
What if he got involved with another vampire?
A vampire girl friend might persuade him to go all evil again.
The thought of losing Spike as her patrolling companion, as her bodyguard, made
Buffy feel depressed. And if he went evil, she would have to stake him. That
sucked.
Why did he have to have these stupid feelings for her? They were ruining
everything.
But you would never have had his help all these months if he didn’t care for
you. He could have found some other way to get around the chip. Left you. Stayed
evil.
A few days later she found a note on her pillow. Spike’s new schedule, if she
wanted him to patrol with her. He was now busy six nights a week from eleven
until three a.m. He would be willing to patrol with her before or after.
Must be the new girlfriend, keeping him busy.
“So, you got a new girlfriend?” She asked casually the next night on patrol.
“Not really. Lots of girls out there. Why settle down with the first one I
meet?”
So, he was playing the field. For some reason it made her feel relieved, that he
hadn’t found a girlfriend yet.
“How ‘bout you? You started dating?”
“Oh, no. No time, with the job, and the slaying and all. And Dawn needs me.”
“Yeah.” They dusted a couple fledglings.
“So, what are you doing between eleven and three, then?”
“Oh, I picked up a little job.”
“A job."
“Yeah. Bouncing in a demon strip club out on the highway.”
“I didn’t know there was a demon strip club.”
“Well, it is pretty exclusive. And not being in town, you probably wouldn’t have
run across it. Pays really well.”
He told her the amount he got, in cash, every night. Buffy nearly lost her
teeth. He made almost as much in one shift as she made in a week.
“Can you get me a job there?”
He laughed. “They don’t let humans in the door. But they might make an exception
for you, since you’re so pretty. And the slayer. They’d want you to strip, of
course.”
“Eeww!”
Spike laughed again, his eyes bright. “I’m sure you’d be a huge moneymaker,
almost as much as the daywalker chick they feature. Lord knows, I’d be tucking
the twenties in your g string. Be broke all the time.”
“Spike!” She had a sudden vision of his cool fingers brushing her bare skin as
he tucked money into her g string.
“Sorry. Fantasy moment.”
He still wants me. For some reason, that thought pleased her.
He walked her to her front door.
“You want to come over on your night off? Dawn would like to see you. We could
watch videos.”
“Sure. How about I take you two out to dinner first? Maybe that Chinese buffet
Dawn likes so much.”
Two nights later he saved her from getting pecked to death by a pair of large,
birdlike demons. She got a nasty gash high on the shoulder.
Back in her room he bandaged her up, trying to keep his hands from shaking, from
her proximity, and her blood and from the knowledge that if the peck had been a
few inches higher, it would have nicked her jugular. She could well have bled to
death.
“They were going for my neck,” she whispered. “And they were so fast, with those
fluttery hops. If you hadn’t been there. . . ”
“Even with me being there, they did you a right nasty wound.” Their eyes met in
the knowledge that she could have died tonight.
Spike grabbed her tight. “Promise you won’t go patrolling alone,” he begged.
“Don’t go if I’m not there to watch your back. Promise.” He gave her a little
shake. Then he clutched her tight and rained kisses on her hair and face. Soft
closed lip kisses, except when he neared her lips and neck. Then she felt the
cool wetness of his tongue.
“Spike!” She said, as a jolt of desire ran straight to her center.
“Sorry, sorry,” he whispered into her hair. She felt a gentle, swift, blunt
toothed bite on her neck and then he pulled away in a whoosh of leather.
She felt bereft. “Spike, Spike, you’ll come back won’t you? When your shift is
over?”
He smiled from the hall, “Yeah.”
Dawn came stumbling out of her room, then Tara, followed by Willow.
“What’s going on?”Willow asked, eyes round.
“Buffy, you’ve been hurt.” Dawn said, eyeing the dressing on her collar bone and
rushing to her.
“Ran into a pair of bird type demons tonight. Killed one, the other got away,
but Buffy got jabbed. Lost some blood.”
“I’ll be okay. We just need to find that other bird.”
“I gotta go,” Spike said. “I’ll be back around three thirty.”
“Where did he go? Is he looking for that demon alone?” Willow asked.
“No, he has a job from eleven to three. Bouncer in some demon strip club on the
highway. You would not believe how much money he makes.” Buffy flopped back onto
her pillow, looking as pale as the cotton sheet.
“I’m fixing you some herb tea. And an omelette,” Tara said. “It’ll help with the
healing.”
Later, the house quiet, the food eaten, Buffy hugged her pillow and thought
about living, and dying, and Spike.
When she first had been brought back, she would have been glad to die, to return
to heaven. But now she felt differently. She didn’t want to leave Dawn again–she
could see the type of damage losing Mom and her had done to Dawn, making her
angry and sad. She didn’t want to leave her friends. She wanted to live, she
wanted a life that had good friends and pleasant times, as much as she could.
She didn’t hate slaying, not with Spike along. It was fun, most of the time,
like playing a game. With him fighting along side her, they were close to
unbeatable, though stuff like tonight could still happen. Of course, they could
have backed off the birds and tried a little research. That might have been
smart.
She felt like she was losing Spike, and he was important. With him around, her
chances of surviving a few more years were much better. But he wasn’t really
satisfied with their relationship.
Okay, he had needs, like everybody.
Would it be so bad to meet those needs?
Deep down she knew that sex between them would be fantastic. She just knew it.
Her friends wouldn’t like it. Xander would go apeshit.
But it was her life!
She took a warm bath, to try to calm her thoughts, and then rested until she
heard Spike’s motorcycle come to a stop in front of the house. Her heart began
to pound madly.
“What are you doing still awake? Did you have a bad dream?” Spike came into the
room, his hands in the pockets of his duster.
“No. Just been thinking.”
“Oh. Are you in pain? Do you need some medicine?”
“No. Well, I could use a back rub. I feel kind of knotted up.”
“Back rub.” He swallowed. “Okay.”
She had changed into a pink knit pajama set that she hadn’t worn since she had
been seeing Riley. It had pink eyelet inserts, very pretty. She rolled onto her
stomach and flipped her sheet down.
He sat down on the edge of the bed, and his cool hands rested on her shoulders
for just a second. “The wound is still bleeding,” he said.
“Yeah, kind of seeping. I’ve had to change the dressing twice.”
“Maybe you should see a doctor, get some stitches.’
“No, that’ll just be another bill we’ll have to pay.” She hesitated, then said,
“Maybe . . .maybe you could lick it. That would close it right? Isn’t that how
vampires do it if they don’t want to kill the person they’re feeding on? And it
wouldn’t be unpleasant for you, right?”
“Buffy, are you trying to kill me?” Spike leaped off the bed like it was on
fire. “I do that and you’re gonna have to knock me out to keep my hands off of
you. Slayer’s blood-- it’s an aphrodisiac, y’know? Bloody fucking hell, are you
channeling Angelus? I can only take so much before I go completely insane.”
He turned to leave.
“Don’t go,” Buffy cried, and he looked at her with huge eyes. “You...you’re
important to me. To my life. I don’t want to lose you. So, okay, let’s try it
your way, try being . . . together.”
Spike stared at her, disbelief all over his face. “You’re saying, we. . . ?”
“Yeah.” She looked straight into his eyes. Then pulled the dressing off her
shoulder, never taking her eyes from his.
Spike slipped off his duster, and Buffy could see that he was already aroused .
He slid onto the bed and held her shoulders. With a groan he began licking the
wound, slowly, angling his tongue against the deepest part. At first it hurt,
but his cool tongue took the pain away, leaving the wound feeling cool and a
little numb.
It lasted for a long time, and then his lips and tongue began to trail up her
neck to he jaw and ear. Buffy shivered, it felt so delicious.
“If you want me to stop, tell me now while I still can.” His voice was low and
husky, sending even more shivers down her spine. “Otherwise you’re gonna have to
beat me off you. I’m pretty near the point of no return,” he whispered into her
hair.
“It’s all right. I want this.”
He looked her deeply in the eyes. “If this is just going to be this one time,
tell me , and maybe I’ll able to do it and walk away.” His eyes held a bleak
look, and she knew he would not be able to just walk away, that any denial from
her would be painful.
Buffy threaded her fingers through his hair making the curls spring free. “Not
thinking of just one time. I was thinking we should be together, because it is
right for you to be here with me. Was thinking we could meet each others needs,
instead of me taking all the time.”
He stared into her eyes for a moment, “Not just the one time, then.”
She nodded. Then it was like a tornado striking. Buffy found herself naked and
flat on her back under a very aroused and naked vampire in just seconds. He
kissed hard with a tongue that pressed against her own, devouring. She could
feel his steely cock pressed against her, and he reached both hands down to yank
her legs apart. She squeaked in surprise. Now she could feel the head pressing
against her opening.
“Not going in yet,” He gasped into her mouth. “Just want to feel you get wet.”
Gasping? He doesn’t even need to breathe. Must be . . . arousal. She liked that
he was so turned on by her.
She shimmied a little against him, pleased to see the way his facial expression
changed, lips parted, eyes shut. “I’m already wet,” she pointed out.
“Ahh, yeah, that’s good sweets. So good. I’m not waiting. Have to do
f-foreplay–“ he began to push into her– “with me inside.”
Buffy blinked in astonishment as his cool hard cock filled her to the point she
thought she might burst. It didn’t hurt, but she was so full. . . a little more
and it would be painful.
“You okay?” He rumbled against her neck. “ Ahh, god. . . Can’t believe how hot
you are.”
“Yeah.” She swallowed. “Just can’t move.”
“That’ll change,” He whispered. “Trust me.”
He began licking and nipping at her neck while his fingers pulled and twirled
her nipples. The neck action had her slayer senses screaming, while the nipple
play was so delicious, shooting tendrils of pleasure straight to the walls
clutched around his hardness.
Between licks and nips he moaned into her ear. “Never felt anything like you. .
. god, Buffy. . . little titties so pretty . . Gotta taste. . . getting wetter,
mmm.. . .”
Buffy felt out of control, unsure of what he might do next. This wasn’t like her
other times, which had always followed the same basic, predictable order. Spike
was mixing everything up, and it was making her crazy.
“Spike,” she gasped, clutching at his shoulders, involuntarily clutching her
inner muscles around him.
He hissed.
“Buffy, not gonna be able to just rest in there, if you do that. Christ, you
weren’t kidding about those muscles, were you, luv?”
She had no idea what he was talking about. “Talk, talk talk. “ She pouted. “I
want some kisses.”
His lips immediately latched onto hers, and she shivered as his long tongue
stroked hers, rubbing and caressing tenderly. They kissed for a long, long time,
and Buffy wasn’t even aware of the exact time his rigid cock began to move
within her in time with his clever, thrusting tongue.
She just came to the realization, at some point, that she had never felt
anything so delicious in her life, and the fleeting thought ran through her that
Spike was her first lover who really fit her. Both Angel and Riley had been too
enormous to kiss her mouth while inside of her. His weight didn’t feel crushing,
either, it was arousing, creating delicious pressure. . .
One smooth hand slid between them, and gentle fingers glided over her clit,
while the kisses and shallow thrusts continued, on and on, at a mesmerizing
pace.
Buffy lost all sense of time, swamped by sensation, his tongue, his thick hard
cock, his smooth fingers. . . she spiraled into one climax after another,
whimpering and moaning against his mouth. . . and he began to thrust harder,
pounding and ramming into her, and Buffy wrapped her legs and arms around him
fiercely, meeting his thrusts with her own, clutching his cock with her inner
muscles, making him quiver and moan. . . And then he came, groaning her name,
his face shifting into bumpies as he buried his face in her shoulder, tongue
once again bathing her wound, and she came one final time, a huge burst of
pleasure that left her nearly unconscious.
It was a while before either of them moved. A knocking on her door finally
caught their attention.
“Buffy, are you okay?” It was Dawn.
“Ye. . . Yeah,” Buffy called. “Just, um, Spike was fixing my wound.”
“Yuh huh. Right. Well, try to keep it down, okay?”
“Kay,” Buffy buried her blushing cheeks into Spike’s shoulder, and he chuckled.
“Well, guess everybody knows things have changed.” She whispered.
“That bother you?”
“No. . . “ Something else was on her mind. It was beginning to get light. “Did.
. .did that take a really long time? Were we, um, you know, for hours?”
Spike chucked and glanced at the bedside clock. “Yeah, we were. Wanted it too
last, make it memorable. In case it was the only time. . .” He shrugged, and a
sad look crept over his face.
“Are you nuts? You think I’m not gonna want to repeat that? A lot?”
“God, I hope. Otherwise I’m not likely to survive this.” It was his turn to bury
his face in her neck, embarrassed.
“Spike, I know you love me. . . and I think I’m starting to love you. . .You are
the one I trust. . . the one I want to sleep with.”
“Won’t rush you. . . well, except for the sex part. I’ll probably be all over
you, all the time.”
“That sounds good.” She snuggled against him, eyes shut, and yawned.
“Yeah? So, you think we should go shopping?”
“Shopping?” Her eyes flew open.
“For a bigger bed? One that doesn’t squeak so much?”
“Mmm, that would be fun. New sheets and spread, too? You buying?”
“Yeah, I’m buying.”
“Really? Then, maybe a new nightie? And some pretty pillows? Thicker curtains?”
“Yeah, yeah, anything you want. And something for Dawnie, too. We’ll go to the
mall this afternoon.”
Buffy wrapped herself around him and yawned again. “Well, if my friends give me
a hard time about this, I’ll just explain that there’s shopping involved.
That’ll settle it.”
They drifted to sleep, content in each others arms.