by Once Bitten Spike: watchone@ecarthage.com

The blonde Vampire, his blue eyes dark with something she'd never seen in them before, stepped up to stand inches away from Buffy.

He looked at her lips, and suddenly made his move.

"Spike, what the hell do you think you are doing?"

She said the words, but made no move to stop him, as he put one arm around her and brought her close to his body. Something she'd have to ask herself about later. Later, when his nearness to her wasn't such a confusing distraction.

"Kissing you." He ran his tongue around the edges of her lips, as if he were outlining his target, and then, before she could repeat her question, his tongue, like a slippery torpedo, dived into her mouth.

She forgot all about the why, and concentrated on why not. After all, she'd always wanted to really kiss Spike, without a witch’s intervention, and here he was, offering it up to her on a juicy platter.

Whoa....wait just a minute. Since when had she ever wanted to kiss Spike? She loathed him. Then she thought of him, standing at one end of the pool table, that damned cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth, looking OH so fine. Well, maybe loathed was too strong a word, but the idea that she wanted this was just.......it was really......

So different. So unlike Angel's kiss. Still cool, but there was a passion behind it, a drive, a fervor, and a longing that was not curbed by the fear of frightening her.

As he kissed her more deeply he encircled her in his arms and pressed his body to hers and she felt........oh good grief, he had a raging hard on!

"Spike, wait, please…" She managed with both of their tongues in the middle of a duet, which made Spike wonder what else she could do with her tongue with the proper urging.

" I don't think I'm on the same page as you are."

But she couldn't be more than a paragraph away........

Spike wasn't just on a page, he'd reached the last chapter of the story, where the guy gets the girl and copious shagging ensues.

She'd 'said' wait, but Spike noticed that she was still kissing him back and hadn't even tried to pull away. He felt her hands roam down and clutch at his ass and winced, as it hurt a little.

*What a sodding joke. You can't just pinch the fruit and then leave it in the bin, all bruised and picked over.*

Which is exactly what his backside was at the moment. Not bruised as yet but if she didn't cease her Slayer enhanced grip on it, it soon would be.

He shuddered to think what she might do to his 'actual fruit' if she really got revved up, and he pulled his lips away for a moment.

He observed that she was a bit glassy eyed, and he smiled, and tapped her on the toe with his Doc'.

"Oi! Buffy luv, wake up and regroup. I'm gonna need first aid if you don't tone it down a bit." He teased.

He waved his hand in front of her until she blinked, and the familiar 'annoyed as hell' expression returned to her face.

She removed her hands from his posterior, only just noticing that they'd been there.

"AHA." He said, smirking. "There she is. And I thought I might have to pick up her mail for her, she'd been gone so long."

Buffy slapped his arm hard, and pushed him away from her, but he only snickered.

"G'wan, y'know ya want me." He was teasing, but both of them knew it was true.

A wide, infuriating grin nearly split his face as Buffy came at him like a small hurricane, raining blows at him which mostly did not land, due to his expert, dancing evasion.

She wondered how the hell he could leap about like some sprite with that heavy leather coat flapping about him like that, and then, after faking him out by reaching toward his face, she grabbed the edge of the coat as it passed, stuck out her foot, and tripped him.

This was aided by the cue stick which picked that exact moment to roll underneath his foot.

He went down like a ton of bricks, landing flat on his back.

He glared at her, coming up on his elbows. "Oh, now that's what I should have expected, innit'? You had to bloody cheat, didn't you?"

"All's fair in lo.....in WAR. I did what I had to, to bring you down where you belong."

"Where I ........" Spike's eyes flashed gold, and he came up on his feet in one fluid motion.

Buffy saw the look in his eye and got into a defensive stance. The chip wouldn't allow him to do her any real harm, but if she made him mad enough he might risk trying.

And from the look on his face, he was totally pissed. She hadn't meant to say it that way, because she really didn't think it. At least, not of late. Her thoughts were still in turmoil over the kiss, and it had just come out, before she could stop it, to cover up what she had very nearly told him.

Old habits are hard to break.

It was on the tip of her tongue, to apologize, just as he leaped at her, catching her off guard. He literally swept her off her feet and the next thing she knew, he was carrying her over his shoulder, like a sack of meal.

"Put me down! You freaking put me down right now, or I'll......."

She struggled in his grip, to no avail, and when she tried to pinch his ass, to distract him, he slapped hers. Hard.

Still livid from her ill phrased remark, Spike took swift, long strides until he reached his destination. A large trash dumpster that sat at one end of the alley.

With no ceremony, he tossed her over his head into the dumpster, and then turned and walked away, without a backward glance.

Her head poked out of the unfortunately, very smelly trash, as she got a grip on the side of the bin. She looked over the edge and watched as his retreating form faded into the distance.

Wondering if the trash bin concealed a body other than hers, it smelled that bad, Buffy was surprised to suddenly feel something other than rage at what Spike had done to her.

Respect, maybe? No, it couldn't be that.

She put both hands on the rim and flipped over the side, landing on her feet, unfortunately not leaving the smell behind with the trash.

Time for a shower, and definitely some deep thinking, about why the hell she had allowed Spike to kiss her in the first place, why she had kissed him back, and why the memory was leaving her so warm and fuzzy.

She put a finger to her lips, slightly swollen from the passion of his kiss, and frowned.

Then she rubbed her stinging bottom, and began the walk home.

******************************************

Harmony jumped, startled, as the door to the crypt burst open.

Poised for flight, she relaxed as she saw it was only Spike. Then, as she sensed his mood, she wondered if her first impulse might have been the correct one, after all.

"Spikey, I've been waiting for you. I even saved you some chow."

She held out a wine glass filled with now cooling, crimson fluid.

She barely jumped back in time as he knocked it from her hand and blew past her, clearly in a rage. The glass shattered on the floor, a surface she'd cleaned, half an hour before.

"Spikey! What the hell is wrong with you?!"

He'd always hated the 'Spikey' thing......

With blinding speed he was in her face, and had her by the throat.

"Shut your bloody mouth. Just have the sense God gave a goose, and nip it, or so help me...."

"You'll what......stake me? Been there, done that, remember?" She was terrified, but unwilling to show it.

He let her go, shoving her away from him in disgust. "Pack your bags, Harm. I want to be alone." He stalked to the far side of the crypt as far away from her as he could get.

Picking herself up from the floor where she'd landed, she hid her hurt feelings with a haughty glance, as she got to her feet.

"So. What's the Slayer gone and done to you now?"

"Sod off. Pack. Your. Bags."

Understanding dawned. "Oh my God. You let it slip, didn't you?"

"Harmony. You have about one more minute before the lights go out."

She smiled, cruelly. "I told you long ago, she'll never love you back. You don't have to make me leave you, to be alone. You'll always be alone as long as you love that stupid little bitch. If you'd just let me kill her......"

In a flash, he was inches away again. His voice was hard, and cold.

"You couldn't manage it before, because you're a lousy example of our kind. And if you ever try it again, you are bloody DUST."

She choked in the face of his icy, blue glare. "But, you and I..."

"Are 'nothing' to each other. You were a distraction. An unwarm place to relieve my tension, and now you are 'gone'. And don't try to play on my sympathies with any claim that you love me. You came here because you were afraid to be anywhere else. You'd leave me quick enough if something else came along."

Like just about any vampire who would offer her protection and also had the ability to bite something besides demons, for example.

He realized that the thought hurt just a little, and not only to his ego.

He'd been lonely, and Harm was better than no company at all, but he'd always wanted her to care, just a little, and he was fairly sure that she did not.

She was a common, unable to love, emotionally bereft, fair weather friend vampire. And he was sick of her.

He waved his hand wearily toward the door. "Forget about packing. Just get the hell out, before I DO stake you."

The brassy blonde turned, with a flip of her long hair, and marched to the door. She turned to Spike, her hand on the latch.

"Alright, I'll go. I have friends. Unlike you. All you have left are a bunch of humans who don't even like you, and your dreams of shagging the Slayer! After all of the demons you've killed for them, have any of them returned your friendship?"
"Forget it! You're so pathetic, you're so..."

Spike, murder in his eye, leaned forward, and stomped one foot so hard that a statue beside the door fell over with a crash.

Harmony fled, slamming the door. From behind it, he heard her yell. "I'll come back and get my stuff when you aren't here!"

Fine. That would give him time to dig a pit in front of his door, filled with sharp wooden sticks. Maybe 'he' would fall in it....

He went and slumped into his chair and prepared to spend the remainder of the evening stewing in his own juices.

So, Buffy had pretty much indicated that he was 'beneath' her.

Wasn't the end of the bloody world. After all, he'd heard it before, hadn't he?

Who was he kidding?

He got to his feet. His anger was still too hot, he knew, but he just couldn't leave it like this. He knew that she didn't feel that way. He felt it with a conviction deep within his very being. She cared. She had to.

He stormed out of the crypt and set a fast pace through the cemetery. He didn't know exactly what he'd say when he got there, but he was sure it would be colorful. He only hoped it wouldn't be too stupid.

Maybe he should just smack her around a little. It wasn’t like she’d never done it to him, after all. But the chip had given him a sharp reprimand for the slap on her bottom, so he didn't think he'd get away with much more. Besides. He knew full well, that he could never treat her that way.

She wasn’t Drusilla.

And he was barely a ‘part time’ Big Bad, these days.

He was 'so' in love. He was so totally screwed.

The more his thoughts crowded in, the faster he walked until he was nearly running in his haste to get there.

******************************************

Buffy rubbed the rich soapy lather all over her body, as she leaned into the hot stinging water of the shower.

It was a mistake. All of it. There was no possible way that she could harbor romantic feelings for Spike. He was a killer.

Her traitorous brain whispered to her that he hadn't killed anything but demons for a long time now, but she ignored it, soaping herself all the harder. The voice also whispered that Spike was a well built, gorgeous example of manhood, vampire or not.

She froze and peered suspiciously around the steaming shower, and even stuck her head out to be sure that no one was in the room. The voice was way to pro' Spike, and she wouldn't have been surprised to find him out there, grinning at her.

She washed her hair quickly, rinsed it, and then lathered up her hand to clean the part of her she'd been avoiding like the plague since beginning her shower.

She wasn't surprised to find it already slippery down there, and sighed in annoyance. Her body was as much a traitor as her little voice.

She washed quickly, and got out of the shower before she could give in to the idea of releasing some of her pent up tension. After all, it wasn't 'that' kind of tension. Couldn't be. She had Riley for that.

She was even unhappier to realize, that the thought of Riley didn't bring any calm to her raging emotions. But thinking about the guy did seem to curb her raging libido. Thank God he was good for something tonight, at least.

She realized that it should bother her, that the thought of Riley Finn was beginning to be a turn off, and sighed. More for her to puzzle out.

She dried off, wrapped up in the towel, and did a quick session with the hairdryer, before leaving the bathroom and dressing.

Finished, she started down the hall, and passing her mother's room, saw that Joyce seemed to be packing an overnight bag.

She entered the bedroom, nervously, afraid to ask the question, because she already knew the answer.

******************************************

Spike burst through the hedge just beyond Buffy's back porch and stopped short.

The object of his misguided affections was sitting there, on the top step, her hands clasped on her bowed head, her shoulders shaking.

He could hear the sobs from where he stood.

His anger left him like it had never been there, and he swiftly strode across the yard and to the bottom step. He paused there, uncertain what to do next, and his concern doubled as he realized that she had no idea that anyone was there or if she did, was uncaring.

This actually frightened him, at the thought of what could happen to a Slayer so out of tune with the world, and he cleared his throat, to get her attention.

When Buffy raised her head and looked at him, he saw the tears and the swollen eyes, and forgot all about anything but getting to her.

He was up the steps and sitting beside her before either of them could bat an eye, and never noticed that she didn’t even flinch as he put his arms around her, and kissed the top of her blonde head.

She snuggled into his chest as if she’d been doing it every day of her life, and it felt like coming home. She tried to tell herself that she’d have hugged a post just then, she was that devastated, but deep inside her, she knew it was a lie.

"What do you want now?" She tried to make her voice sound hard, but it only came out small, and sad.

Part 2

He kept her close, as his mind raced, wildly. She was allowing this. She was either completely off her bird, or finally giving in to her feelings.

Knowing that he might not want to be told, he asked, anyway.

"Pet, what is it? What’s wrong?"

She swallowed and he could feel her efforts to speak without crying again. She failed miserably, and he only caught every other word or so, but enough to understand.

And it hit him like a bolt of lightning, and his shoulders sagged under the weight of it.

No. Not Joyce. Just about his only friend in the whole bleedin’ town. But it was only a scan, right? It was probably nothing…except that he recalled an afternoon recently when he had stopped in to chat, and she’d dropped a cup of cocoa as she was handing it to him.

Oh she’d blown it off as clumsiness, but he’d seen the pain in her eyes, and he had smelled her fear.

Buffy had come in about then, and Joyce had shook her head at him, telling him silently not to make anything of it, so he hadn’t, and Buffy had given him the usual ‘bums rush’ exit from the house.

He hadn’t thought about it again, until now.

Well, whatever it was, someone would fix it. Or he would make some doctor somewhere extremely uncomfortable for the rest of his life. If the guy lived that long.

Buffy was still adjusting to being comforted by her mortal enemy, and decided that she liked it. If the shadow of her mother’s cat scan was out of the picture, she wondered where this moment might have led them.

As it was, she sighed, and pulled out of his embrace, sitting up a little straighter. But she didn’t make a move to scoot over, and she noticed that he didn’t, either.

"Spike…"

"Pet?"

"Why did you kiss me in the alley?"

Spike thought about it for a minute. Oh well. In for a penny, in for a pound.

"Do you remember what I said, just before I kissed you?"

Something about dancing? "Sort of."

Great. She’d missed the whole bloody point of his lecture in the alley. Just as well. Because his point had changed a little.

He took one of her hands in his, and she let him. It was now or never. He’d only kissed her in the alley, but he wanted more from her, than that. Much more than a sexual relationship.
And to get it, he would have to be totally honest, for the first time in his shady unlife.

"Right, then. Here we go. Another lesson. Only I think this is one that I’m going to have to bloody learn along with you."

Buffy smiled softly. "Those who can’t do, teach."

He looked her straight in the eye, and felt his stomach flutter like a teenage boy.

"What I said, about the dancing, it’s true, I think, to an extent. You dance with death. You court it, in a fashion. But I think that maybe I, as well, have been courting it, without planning it that way."

Buffy frowned. "Huh?"

Spike wasn’t sure, either, what the hell he meant.

"Well for fuck’s sake, Slayer. You could have pulled out a stake and rammed me into eternity about a million times, these past years. I had to know that. I’m an egomaniac, but I’m not bloody stupid!"

"Your point is in there, somewhere." Buffy smiled at him, surprised to hear him admit he had an ego the size of a sanitation truck.

He squeezed her hand, gulped, and said it, praying that she wouldn’t laugh.

"I knew you wanted to ‘dance‘, because ’I’ bloody well want to, so bad that it’s making me act like a total ponce. I want to shag you silly. I want to bring you stupid little gifts for no reason, and I want to wake up next to you in the morning. Oh hell, I want to go to bed with you and stay there until we’re both so exhausted that you can’t move, and I can’t get it up anymore."

To his surprise, given her somber mood, she giggled.

"What?"

"Can you really get that tired?"

He returned her grin.

"It’s never happened before, but I’d sure like to try."

They sat there on the porch for another half an hour, just looking at each other, and giggling now and then, like naughty children who had been reading a dirty book.

Every few moments, one would lean over and give the other a quick peck on the lips, but neither tried to go any further, so enjoyable was their new found camaraderie.

They didn’t hear, when Joyce came to the back door, to tell Buffy she was ready to go to the hospital. She stood there and listened to them for a moment, and felt a little guilty for eavesdropping, but it did her troubled heart good to know that they were finally opening the door to a relationship. If the worst were to happen to her, she knew that Spike would take care of Buffy.

Better than the other one. The dark one.

He was much too deeply concerned with his own affairs, and his excuse for leaving her was thin, at best. No, Buffy needed Spike. And Spike certainly needed Buffy. Joyce had grown fond of the blonde vampire, and no longer thought of him as an enemy. She hadn’t for some time.

With Spike at her side, Buffy might well be the first Slayer in history to live a full, productive life. And the vampire would continue on his road to becoming something other than a bloodsucker. Joyce had always sensed another destiny in him. She hoped this was the beginning of his finding it.

She backed quietly into the shadows of the house, and went to sit in the living room, to wait for Buffy there, unwilling to watch what she was certain was about to be a very private moment between her daughter and the vampire. She smiled, in spite of her own troubles.

Spike paused, just as he was about to nuzzle Buffy’s ear. He had been fully aware of her mother’s presence at the door, but had given no sign. He knew that Joyce wouldn’t be too surprised that he was there, and might even be in his corner.

Buffy , one arm around the blonde vampire, her head on his shoulder, felt him tense up a little.

"What is it?"

After a moment, he heard Joyce move away, and he relaxed, and stuck his tongue into Buffy’s ear.

"Spike!" She pretended to be disgusted, but by now they both knew it was just a formality.

Buffy stuck her index finger into her ear, twirled it around a bit, and then wiped it on the end of Spike’s nose.

Spike grinned at her. "Watch out, girl, I might ‘wax poetic’ on you."

Buffy’s mouth dropped open in horror. "Spike! That’s the most awful thing that you’ve ever said to me!"

Then she grinned, evily, and continued. "You’re right. If all your poetry is like that, you really ‘are’ a bloody awful poet!"

Spike snickered, and then became very still. His eyes wide, and deeply blue, he looked at her so intensely that she feared she’d said something amiss.

"Spike, I didn’t really mean that, I just…"

"S’ok. That’s not it. My poetry sucks ass. It’s what you said before."

She couldn’t remember, and frowned up at him.

"You said it was the worst thing I’d ever said to you. It wasn‘t, not by a long shot."

She clasped both his hands in hers, knowing where he was going with this, but let him speak.

He was nearly overwhelmed, for a moment, and his eyes began to fill with tears. Before he could completely poof out and disgrace himself, he continued.

"Buffy…I want to apologise…for every awful, shitty thing that I’ve said to you, or about you for that matter, for all the bloody years we’ve known each other."

"Spike, we have never ‘really’ known each other. That’s what this is all about. The past is past. I wanna move on, and see what’s ahead for us. I’m ready to admit that I was wrong about you, if you’ll stop talking me to death and kiss me again."

"But I’m sorry, for so many things, so bloody sorry, and that time I said you weren’t worth a second go of it…I just wanted to hurt you. I should have known back then that I wanted you myself. Maybe I ‘did’ know."

He paused. She was staring at him in that impatient Slayer sort of way.

"Spike. I’m not getting any younger, here."

His eyes twinkled. "And I’m not getting any older. So what?"

"Well," she countered. "I’M not getting any……PERIOD."

His lips dived onto hers like they were starving and she was the main dish.

*About time*, she thought, and then remembered something.

"Hey! " She broke the kiss, panting a little. Spike panted too, just to be cute.

"What is it, luv?"

"Back while you were so sorry…you mentioned ‘things you said ABOUT me’…"

"I did?"

"What exactly have you said about me in the past?"

"Um…I remember saying what a cute little ass you had as you PAST by me, once or twice."

"Spike…"

"No fair! You said the past is past! Bloody ‘Indian Giver’…you bleedin’ colonists are all the same. Look what your kind did to the Native Americans."

"SPIKE!"

"WHAT?"

"Ever call me a bitch?"

He stared at her, wondering if it was some kind of trick question.

"You know bloody well I have. Right to your face. And recently. OH. I’m sorry about that, too," he added hastily.

"Did you ever call me that when I couldn’t hear you?"

"N…" He looked at her twinkling hazel eyes. "Bloody hundreds of times, Pet."

"There, you see. You told the truth. You ‘can’ be taught."

She leaned forward and gave him a deep kiss that would have taken his breath away, if he’d had any he hadn’t stolen from her.

Then she stood, looking down at him. "I don’t mind, that you called me a bitch. I’ve been a bitch to you for so long, and I deserve it."

"Bitch."

Her eyes narrowed, but she grinned back at him.

"Don’t press your luck."

"What’s past is past." He stood up, still grinning.

"I expect that your mother is waiting for us to drive her to hospital."

Buffy felt an overwhelming relief at his words.

She wasn’t going to have to go through this alone.

Spike reached over, and took her hand. "Want to call old ‘Riled Up‘ and leave him a message, or anything?" He studied her like a hawk observing a mouse.

"Riley Who?" She gave him another point for asking.

Spike grinned at her, almost shyly now. He pulled her toward the back door.

"Come on, Bitch. Time to go."

He let go of her hand as she swung at him, and they ran into the house, past a bemused Joyce and a giggling Dawn, who had been listening to most of the conversation.

Buffy skidded to a halt, as Spike ran on, out of breath, with pink cheeks and a wide grin.

"Well…What’s everyone doing just standing around? Load up, and lets go! Dawn, help Mom with her bags. I have to catch Spike, and stake his sorry ass."

She ran out the front door.

Joyce and Dawn observed, from inside, as Spike dropped off the roof of the porch and landed on top of Buffy, and both went rolling across the lawn to end up beneath a tree, the ground under which was littered with cigarette butts.

Her daughter and the blonde vampire began kissing so passionately, that Joyce wondered if she should just call a cab.

Dawn sighed. Spike was SO cool.

Joyce smiled at her youngest. "What are you thinking, ‘pumpkin belly‘?"

"That I wish Spike were human, and he had a younger brother somewhere that was half that Bad."

Joyce frowned. She couldn’t remember if she’d had ‘that talk’ with her baby.

Spike and Buffy continued to roll around on the ground for a minute, going quite still, as he kissed her once more, and then he rose, and pulled her to her feet.

"Time to face the music, Luv."

She leaned forward and kissed him again, and said, softly. "I’m glad you’re gonna be there."

"I have to be there. You are. And I’ve just become your shadow."

"I think,………Spike, I love you."

"Loved you first."

"Did not."

"I most certainly did. You were trying to stake my ass while I was on that particular path of discovery."

Dawn and Joyce got into Joyce’s car at the curb. Dawn rolled the window down and smirked at the two, who were so engrossed with each other, they hardly noticed.

"Hey, way cool. I get to drive Mom to the hospital."

Spike looked sharply at her. "You bloody well will not!! I’ll drive."

Buffy grinned at him. "But Spike…we want to get there in one piece."

He grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her toward the car, slapping her on the rump with the flat of his hand.

"Get in there."

To everyone’s complete surprise, Buffy obeyed. She walked to the car and got in it, moving Dawn to the back seat with her mother, and taking the front, vowing to eventually get a driver‘s license.

Joyce just stared as Spike went round to the driver’s door and slid in, slamming the door so hard that all their teeth rattled in their heads.

"Buckle up, kiddies. Daddy’s putting the hammer down!" He grinned into the rear view mirror at Joyce.

Buffy shivered. "Déjà vu!"

She settled back and let Spike take charge. She knew that Giles, Willow, Tara, Xander, and possibly Riley, if anyone bothered to tell him, would be at the hospital when they got there.

She was confident that Spike could handle whatever was coming, and that she would finally have someone to help her shoulder the burden.

She nearly laid her head in his lap, but at a small cough from her mother and a snort from Dawn in the back, she remembered herself, and settled for holding his hand. She squeezed it, tightly.

He squeezed back, and gave her a look so all at once sexy, and comforting, that it took her breath away.

Then he took a corner turn so sharply that she glared at him again.

"Bitch." He mouthed the word at her, so that the others didn’t hear.

"Later." She said, softly, and smiled.

"COOL!" Dawn said, grinning.

Spike frowned. "You heard all that? You sure you’re not a vampire?"

Then he took the next corner on two wheels and they all held on for dear life as he began to sing a Billy Idol tune, completely on key.

"What set you free, and brought you to me, Babe?" He warbled.

Well, thought Buffy, as she looked up at him in surprise.

At least with him, it will never be boring.

Spike, as if reading her mind, winked at her.

The End