Chapter 10:

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Spike and the gang were sitting at the Magic Box. He couldn’t get his mind off the past few days, and something was bothering him. He needed to tell them.


“I have something you guys won’t want to hear,” Spike began nervously.


“What is it?” Willow asked, as the whole gang furrowed their brows in worry.


Spike couldn’t reply immediately. He knew this wasn’t going to end well…


“I…,” Spike started, as he faced them with hesitation.


They were all getting worried. Spike usually said whatever he wanted with utmost bluntness. Hesitation was a sign of something bad.


“Dear God, just tell us before we all have ulcers,” Xander demanded.


“IthinkI’minlovewithBuffy,” Spike said with closed eyes.


A moment paused.


“We already knew,” Giles replied calmly.


------


Spike jolted up in a frantic gasp. ‘What the fuck!!!’ He turned in all directions panicking, until he realized he was in his bed. Gasping for unnecessary air, his jumbling thoughts cleared, as he realized it was only a dream. And then panic rose up in him again. ‘I don’t love Buffy! Why the fuck did I dream that!?!’


Suddenly, ‘only a dream’ was not good enough for him. He didn’t want to believe he even just dreamt that. Throwing off the covers and getting up, he clutched his head and pulled on his hair in frustration. Pacing around his room, he tried to FORCE the thoughts out of him – the dream, the idea of it, Buffy…


Finally, he stopped pacing. There was only one answer: get completely toasted.


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Buffy had a good night’s sleep. Spending yesterday with Dawn and mom was just what she needed. In her pitiful situation, she clung to whatever tidbits she got, including Spike’s remark of trust in her.


It was completely ridiculous actually, that she cared THAT much about something Spike said. It was just Spike. Mooning over Drusilla, pitifully-chipped Spike. But Buffy knew she was lying to herself. He was definitely none of those things here, and for some reason, she cared about what he said, a lot.


Shuddering at the thought, she busied herself with dressing and pushed it out of her mind.


Then the conversation she had with Tara about her soul popped into her head. ‘Buffy, I want to believe you, I do. But if you had a soul, I would have seen it. And you don’t’ Tara’s words tore at her heart, even though they were said with utmost sympathy. She didn’t know what to do or think about it, but she knew she had to go apologize to Tara for running out on her so harshly.


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Buffy entered the Magic Box, and five heads looked up at the sound of the door jingle. To both her relief and disappointment, Spike wasn’t there.


Tara eyes immediately softened at Buffy’s arrival. She felt bad for upsetting her so much yesterday. She wasn’t sure why Buffy would think she had a soul, but the devastation in Buffy’s voice and expression had torn at her sympathy regardless.


Buffy looked at Tara with slightly ashamed eyes, coated with an expression of pain, and then darted her gaze to the side.


“Hi Buffy,” Willow chirped, as she began to notice the sadness in the air. Her smile turned to a frown. “What’s wrong?”


“Uh nothing…I just…Tara, can I talk to you?” Buffy asked quietly.


The others frowned in puzzlement.


Tara saw Willow open her mouth, about to speak, so she jumped in before they could say anything, “Yea sure, let’s go for a quick walk outside!”


Grabbing Buffy by the arm gently, Tara ushered them both toward the door.


“Wait-,” Willow began, but the two girls already went out the door.


“What the hell was that all about?” Xander said puzzled.


“Do you think they’re having a secret affair?” Anya pondered out loud.


“What!? No,” Willow replied quickly at the absurd question, “Of course they aren’t! Buffy’s not gay…” Willow wavered, as she frowned a bit. She knew the thought was ridiculously ‘ANYA,’ but now she felt a little jealous that she was being left out of their little private conversation, even if she knew Anya was just messing around.


“Anya!” Xander accused.


“Ok ok, I’m just kidding! Don’t worry, Willow. I’m sure you give Tara many good orgasms,” Anya finished with a patronizing voice of reassurance.


Willow just cringed in response, as Giles was furiously cleaning his glasses, muttering under his breath.


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“What’s on your mind, Buffy?” Tara asked, once they were far enough away from the building so that even vampire hearing couldn’t reach them.


“I just wanted to say I’m sorry,” Buffy said sheepishly, “for running out and being so angry. I know it wasn’t your fault…”


“Buffy, it’s ok. I’m sorry I upset you. I-, I had no idea that…you didn’t remember that you have no soul,” Tara stuttered.


Buffy winced at the words, but quickly tried to regain her composure.


“Is there something you wanted to talk about? Or anything I can do to help you?” Tara asked, still confused at Buffy and this whole thing.


Buffy thought about all the things she wanted to say. ‘Tell me I have a soul. Tell me how to get out of here. Help me get this chip out.’ A thought came to her mind.


“Actually, yea…” Buffy began hesitantly, trying to think of how she wanted to phrase it. “Can you help me do some research?”


Tara was a bit surprised at her request, and disappointed that Buffy didn’t seem to want to explain the whole soul thing, but she let it go. “Y-yea, s-sure Buffy. What’s it for?”


“I want you to help me look for anything about like myths or legends of world reversal. How the world can possibly be reversed, or if all good can turn to evil, vice versa. I know it sounds stupid, but I just need to make sure about my vision, you know?” Buffy said, hoping she sounded convincing.


Tara hesitated for a moment, until she saw the eagerness and pleading in Buffy’s eyes. “Ok Buffy, I’ll try my best, b-but I’ve never heard of such a thing.”


Buffy looked hopeful still. “Will you try?”


“Of course,” Tara said, as she squeezed Buffy’s hand quickly.


“And let’s just keep this between us. They already think I’m crazy enough,” Buffy finished.


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Walking back into the Magic Box, Tara tried to think of something to tell them, but came up with nothing.


“What was that about? Is Buffy ok?” Willow asked, more curious than concerned.


“Yea, everything’s fine now. Buffy was just apologizing for ditching me at the Bronze yesterday. She was upset about not remembering certain things,” Tara said, trying not to stutter too much.


“What do you mean?” Willow asked.


“You know, Mike and…other things…” Tara said.


Willow looked suspicious of her lame answer, but quickly remembered this was Tara.


“Yea…I suppose she did look upset yesterday…” Willow trailed off.


“Why would she take just you aside?” Xander asked suspiciously.


Tara looked up at his question, “Well, it’s not exactly like you’ve been the n-nicest person to Buffy, h-have you?”


Everyone turned to look at him.


“What?? It’s just Buffy!” Xander defended against accusing eyes. But they all didn’t even reply, turning their back to their work.


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Buffy went walking around Sunnydale, deep in her thoughts. She was clinging to the last shred of hope she had with Tara – it was an incredibly slim chance, but there was nothing else she could do. She wanted to go home badly. But a tiny, teeny, small part of her didn’t. She realized she didn’t have to patrol much here. She wasn’t the Chosen One here, not with the chip anyway. Her initial anger and feelings of defenselessness were slowly being replaced by relief that she was getting a chance to relax from her ‘duty.’ Still, she had to get home soon.


Walking past a dark alley, Buffy suddenly heard a loud crashing of glass. Jumping out of her thoughts and into alert-mode, Buffy cautiously peered down the alley, surveying the source of the noise. It was coming from what seemed to be the back door of a gaudily-lit bar.


She stepped into the alley slowly until she was about 20 feet from the back door, straining to hear anything else.


A recognizable, but muffled voice from within yelled, “Give me another bottle, you bloody git!! I’m not that drunk!”


Buffy was surprised. She didn’t expect to hear Spike’s voice. Deciding that the scene he was making was probably worth seeing, she opened the backed door hesitantly, hoping drunk vampires didn’t equal hungry-for-Buffy vampires. In both ways.


As she opened the door more, it creaked loudly, making several heads turn up to look in her direction.


Freezing at the spot, Buffy gave the room of observers a meek smile.


“Shlayer!” Spike yelled as he smacked down his bottle on the bar. “What the hell are you doing here??”


Oh Spike was definitely drunk. He looked totally wasted, resulting in a combination of incoherence and random outbursts of anger.


Buffy tried not to laugh, as she walked over to him by the bar. “Spike, you’re completely wasted. Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” Buffy said with an amused smirk.


“Get away from me! And tell your head to stop moving from side to side! It’s bloody annoying and rude,” Spike finished as he guzzled down more alcohol.


Buffy flinched at his demand for her to get away from him, but quickly remembered he was drunk.


Then, the bartender came over to them. “You want anything, Slayer?”


“Um…a world of no,” Buffy replied, shocked that she was known and not killed on the spot here. It was a vampire bar after all. ‘I guess it’s like the Bronze…’


“You’re bloody stupid. And you have stupid hair. If you don’t want a drink then get out,” Spike said in between his gulps.


Buffy pouted. She was use to Spike being a jackass, but she did NOT have stupid hair.


“And will you shut up with that already!?” Spike asked in a highly annoyed tone.


“What the hell are you talking about? I didn’t say anything yet,” Buffy retorted, her patience for drunk-Spike wearing thin.


“Your heartbeat is giving me a headache. Tell it to be quiet!” Spike yelled.


“Alriiiiiight then... C’mon, let’s go. You’re way too drunk,” said Buffy.


She reached out to grab his arm to lead him off the stool, but Spike violently flung his arm out of her reach and fumbled with his balance.


“Hey! No touching!” Spike yelled in a defensive voice. “I don’t love you!”


Surprised, Buffy stepped back from him for a moment. That was a random outburst. And his words disturbed her in an odd way. Spike was supposed to say the opposite of that.


“Fine. Deal with your own puddle of vomit,” Buffy said angrily, tired of being calm to this jackass-version Spike. She turned to storm out and leave Spike in his own drunken misery. ‘Did I ask him if he loves me? Moron…’ While making her way across the room to the door, a large figure came to stand in front of her, blocking her path.


“Hey Slayer, you’re not leaving already, are you?” said the male voice.


Buffy looked up at the man. He towered over her, as her eyes traveled up his form to his face. He had about the same form as Angel. Expecting a face of an oaf, Buffy was met with one. He had black hair, brown eyes, and just looked plain sleazy. She certainly wanted to hit this guy in the face for the way he was staring at her.


“Yea, I’m leaving. Excuse me,” Buffy replied quickly. She moved to the right to bypass him, but he moved to his left and stood in her way.


“You can’t leave yet. You didn’t even have a drink! Here! Drink this shot!” he boomed, as he picked the shot glass on the table nearby and thrust it towards Buffy.


‘Ah, great. A big, drunken, oaf-fy vampire.’ Buffy thought with a roll of her eyes. Before she could reply, she heard from behind her, “Hey! You git!”


Spike stumbled over to them, with a bottle still in his hand. “Get away from my shlayer! Only I can yell at her!”


Buffy shot him an angry glare, and opened her mouth to yell at him, “I’m not YOURS, you drunken-.”


The oaf cut in, “See, she’s not yours. Spike, why don’t you go find Leanna or something? Buffy and I are having fun!”


Buffy was about to correct the oaf, but saw the pissed off look on Spike’s face, and closed her mouth, deciding to play along. Instead, she stepped closer to the oaf and took the shot from his hand, pretending she had asked him for one all along. Giving Spike a haughty smirk, she said, “We’re having fun. Why don’t you go find Leanna?”


Spike looked pissed in his drunken state. But then a smirk came to his mouth, “Really? You’re having fun? Let me see you down that shot then.”


Buffy’s haughty smirk disappeared, replaced by a frown. She wasn’t planning on drinking it, because she knew how well THAT would turn out. But Spike was obviously challenging her. Staring at the glass in her hands, she frowned. When she looked back up at Spike, he had a pompous smirk on his face. His expression pissed her off, and she lifted the shot to her mouth, dumping it into her mouth with one move. The liquid scorched her throat and she felt like she was going to gag.


“Bleh!” Buffy said instinctively, as her face contorted in disgust. Looking at Spike’s surprised face, she regained her cool and added, “See. I can down a shot!”


The oaf looked pleased and quickly got her another one. But the first drink had already started to make her feel spacey. This was not going to end well.


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Chapter 11:

Three shots later, Buffy was completely plastered.


Buffy, Spike, and oaf (who Buffy found out was named Chuck) sat at a table together – all too drunk to continue the previous fight.


“Spike! You doof!” Buffy said randomly.


“What?” Spike said with an innocent look.


“You got me drunk!!” Buffy accused.


“What? I didn’t do anything! You drunked yourself!” Spike replied a bit incoherently.


“You did so, you stupid vampire! I’m leaving!” Buffy slipped out of her chair and grasped the table to keep her from falling.


Spike rolled his eyes and reached over to help her up. Standing up straight, Buffy pulled away defiantly.
“I can take care of myself! I’m the slayer!” Buffy said with a raised chin.


Spike’s raised brow showed his response. “What are you gonna do? Stake me?”


Buffy’s forehead creased in concentration as she tried to think of an answer. “No, but I’ll…I’ll…I’ll steal your drink!” She grabbed the big bottle of booze, turned and stormed out of the bar.


“Hey!!” Spike cried indignantly. He made no effort to get up though. Instead he just grabbed another bottle and took a big gulp.


Chuck got up out of his chair clumsily and slurred, “Seeee ya laterrrr, Spike.”


“Where you goin’? We didn’t finish all the booze yet,” Spike asked.


Chuck, looking particularly nasty in his drunken state, replied with a leer, “I’m going to walk Buffy home. If you know what I mean,” he licked his lips in illustration.


Spike sobered up for a moment, becoming furious. Lunging at Chuck, he pushed him backwards into the neighboring table. “Shove off you bloody wanker! I’ll rip your entrails out!” Chuck fell into a table and a glass bottle fell on his head and broke, knocking him out momentarily. Spike, satisfied at the sight, turned to storm out of the bar, but not without turning back and grabbing his bottle of booze first.


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He followed the smell of alcohol. It was obvious from the trail that Buffy was spilling all over the place. ‘What a bloody lightweight.’ Spike thought. He closed his eyes in frustration, ‘Why am I going after her? I need to stay away from her.’


When he opened his eyes, he saw Buffy crouched down on the grass near the cemetery. He could hear and see her from the distance. She appeared to be touching something on the grass.


“oOoOo pretty flower,” Spike heard Buffy say to herself.


‘She’s completely bonkers,’ Spike thought to himself as he approached her.


Buffy looked up at the sight of black boots walking towards her. “Spike! Look what I found!” Buffy said chirpily, forgetting her previous annoyance at him.


“Yea, that’s great, luv. Let’s go! We’re gonna get you home so I can go back for more booze!” Spike slurred.


He began to usher her forward, but she dragged back, unwilling to leave. With a pout, she said, “I didn’t get my flower yet!” Using big wide eyes, she pouted at him in a puppy dog face.


“Bloody hell,” Spike muttered under his breath. He reached down and snatched the flower out of the grass, handing it to Buffy. “Now let’s go!”


Buffy’s eyes glittered in childlike happiness at the flower as she willing let Spike push her forward into the cemetery. “Wait!” Buffy yelled.


“What? What happened?” Spike asked rapidly while he jumped in all directions surveying for trouble.


“I lost my booze,” Buffy said, realizing she only held a flower in her hands.


Spike turned back and looked around. Near the edge of the grass on the cement, lay her shattered bottle. “You broke it, pet.”


“But…but…I want more. Can I have some of yours?”


“Yes.”


Buffy reached forward to grab it, but Spike held it up out of reach. “When you get to your crypt.”


Buffy shoulders sagged in disappointment as a slight pout came back. She turned to keep walking, but muttered to herself, “It’s your stupid crypt, you bleach head.”


They walked in silence for a few minutes, until Spike began to hum a tune.


Buffy looked at him curiously. “What are you humming?”


“You don’t know this song? You’re daft,” Spike replied, before he went back to humming, this time even louder.


Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go I wanna be sedated
Nothin' to do and no where to go-o-oh I wanna be sedated


Buffy made a face. “Will you sedate me so I don’t have to listen to your horrible singing?”


Spike glared at Buffy, insulted. “I’m a bloody great singer!”


“Yea, that’s what everyone who auditions for American Idol says,” Buffy retorted with an amused smile.


“Oi! I’m not that bad! If you don’t want to listen to my singing, stop hanging around me!” Spike yelled.


“I’m not hanging around you! YOU followed ME. And you won’t let me have a sip of your drink, you big meanie!” Buffy retorted ineffectively.


“Fine! What was I thinking actually being nice and walking back with you? It’s not like you ever appreciate anything at all or ever stop being a bitch!” Spike screamed, as his drunken state was elevating his outbursts.


“I’m the bitch!? You’re a bitch! I came to help your drunk-ass out of the bar and you were all mean and jackass-y. First you’re mean to me, Then, you’re nice. Now you’re mean again. AND you got me drunk, but NOW you won’t give me another drink! Make up your mind, you doofus!” Buffy yelled as she waved her flower accusingly at Spike.


“You know what? I was daft to walk you home. You go that way, I’ll go this way. You’re wasting precious time that I should be spending at the bar! Get attacked by Chuck, see if I care,” Spike finished as he turned and dramatically walked away with bottle in tow.


Buffy frowned as she watched him walk away. ‘Get attacked by Chuck? Was that oaf going to attack me?’ She started to worry. Suddenly she was very sober of the fact that she was by herself and a vampire attack meant total helplessness. But she was still drunk enough not to make smart decisions. Therefore, she continued on her way, opposite Spike, with the flower still clutched in her hand.


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Buffy continued walking. After a few minutes, she realized she was humming the song Spike was singing earlier. ‘Damn it! He got it stuck in my head!’ Buffy thought.


Suddenly, she heard footsteps behind her, and whipped around in alarm.


“Ahhhhhh!” Buffy screamed at the top of her lungs when she was met by a tall, dark figure inches away from her.


“Whoa, Buffy, calm down. It’s just me!” came a slurred voice.


Buffy opened her eyes and looked up. It was Chuck. Giving him a nervous laugh, she backed up a step. “H-hey Chuck. What’s up?” Darting her eyes around, she wondered how fast she could run while drunk.


“Nothing, sweetcakes. Just looking for you,” Chuck leered as he stepped forward, but Buffy matched him by stepping back.


“Oh? Why?” Buffy asked, as her mind searched for some sort of strategy. She pretty much sucked at all things non-violent in strategy.


“I figured I’d walk you home to your crypt. You know it’s not safe out here right?” Chuck said in a suddenly sober, serious, but creepy tone.


“Oh really?” Buffy said meekly. “Hey! Why don’t we go back to the bar and have some more drinks?”


Buffy turned quickly to start walking, but her heart stopped for a moment when Chuck grabbed her fiercely by the arm. “No, why don’t we just go back to your crypt?” Chuck asked as he came inches away from her face, his foul breath breathing onto her face.


She tried to pull her arm away without activating the chip, but Chuck’s hold didn’t loosen.


“Let go of me!” Buffy cried. She struggled against his grasp as he tried to stay in control. Coming to a decision, she braced herself for the pain, and aimed for the best shot she had at getting away. Kneeing him hard in the groin, she screamed out in agony as the pain of the chip shot through her head and she fell to the ground.


Chuck screamed in pain and vamped out while he was on the floor.


Both of them on the ground, Buffy tried to ignore the tears in order to get up. As she was about to stand up, a wrist came around her ankle and she was pulled off her feet, knocking roughly against the ground.


-----


Spike was walking back to the bar singing, when he heard a high-pitched scream. He paused in his steps, recognizing that it was probably Buffy. Cursing himself for ever meeting her and cursing himself for leaving her alone, he turned and ran back in the direction of the scream.


He vamped out on the run, trying to get a better sense of where she was. Suddenly, as the trees cleared, she saw two figures on the ground, and one was Buffy. Letting out a guttural growl, he lunged forward for Chuck, just after Buffy was flung off her feet.


Grabbing Chuck by the shoulders, Spike tossed him back against a tombstone. He threw two hard punches to his face. Chuck, surprisingly, quickly recovered and hit Spike in the stomach.


“What the hell is your problem, Spike?” Chuck yelled before he let out another punch. “She’s just a stupid human! We’re just having a little fun! But o wait, I forgot. You fall in love with crazy human chicks, huh? What was that chick’s name?”


Spike let out a yell as he kicked Chuck in the gut. Grabbing a large rock broken off a tombstone, he brought it down fiercely on the back of Chuck’s head, hearing something crack. Still furious, he grabbed a wide stick lying on the ground and aimed for his heart, but missed.


“Lucky for your heart I’m still drunk, you bloody wanker!” Spike finished as he backed away from Chuck’s unconscious form.


Turning to look for Buffy, he saw her getting up off the ground. Walking over to her, he felt a wave of concern and guilt. He had practically wished an attack on her.


“You alright?” Spike asked, trying to keep emotion out of his voice.


“Y-yea…” Buffy’s voice wavered in hesitation. She wrapped her arms around herself as her eyes remained downcast. “Thanks.”


Spike sighed loudly, as he came closer to her. “I’m sorry I left. I was being a jerk.” He noticed that Buffy’s heartbeat was still beating rapidly, and he saw her quickly wipe tears (from the pain of the chip) out of her eyes. Suddenly feeling even more remorseful, he moved forward and wrapped his arms around her in a comforting gesture. “It’s ok now.”


Buffy’s hands, which were wrapped around herself, came to rest on Spike’s chest in front of her.


‘You shouldn’t be hugging her! Get away from her you git!’ Spike thought to himself. ‘This is what I get for being drunk…’ Still, he didn’t move away, as Buffy seemed to lean into him.


Sighing into his chest, Buffy tried to calm her breathing, but it seemed her heart was beating even faster. No, not from the attack and utter helplessness she felt just a few moments ago, but from the close proximity of their embrace, and the feel of Spike’s arms around her.


Not thinking, Buffy moved her hands down Spike’s chest before wrapping her arms around him too, causing Spike to suddenly tense. Growing hard at her caress, he now realized the danger of this embrace.


Buffy looked up at his reaction with a puzzled look. “What’s wrong?”


Starring her in the eyes, he didn’t respond. His gaze wandered to her lips. ‘Back away now!’ his reasonable side screamed to him. But his urges (and the alcohol) won over that voice, and he moved forward, attacking her lips in a heated moment.


Buffy was surprised at the kiss, but only took a brief moment before returning Spike’s kiss eagerly. She frantically caressed his lips with hers, bringing her arms around his neck and pressing her body against his.


Moaning at the heat searing between their bodies, Spike began to delve his tongue into her mouth teasingly, as one hand played with the smooth skin below her blouse while the other ran through Buffy’s soft hair, stopping at the nape of her neck.


As she pulled away to gasp for breath, her chest heaving, Spike took the moment to start kissing on her neck hungrily. Buffy let out a raspy gasp at the feel of his cool tongue caressing her blazing skin. He ground his erection into her, letting her know how much she was affecting him.


As their lips met in another series of kisses, Buffy brought her legs up to wrap around his waist, as he hoisted her up against his body. Quickly looking around, Spike carried Buffy in the direction of her crypt.


Still locked in a desperate kiss, the two blondes blindly worked their way over to the crypt. Finally seeing the wall, Spike made a noise of relief and slammed Buffy against the outside of the crypt, eliciting a gasp.


“Spike…inside the crypt…now,” Buffy managed to get in between their long kiss.


He wasted no time, knocking the door open and taking them inside. Walking over to the sarcophagus, he placed Buffy down and shed his duster, flinging it aside. Buffy was about to do the same with her shirt, but Spike pushed her hands away and lifted the shirt over her head in one smooth motion. In turn, he stripped his shirt off, causing both of them to pause for a brief moment at each other’s state of undress.


The look they shared was one seeking assurance – whether or not they should keep going.


Spike’s answer was to lunge at her lips once again, while he worked on the button of her pants and she worked on his belt buckle. He slid her pants down her legs, tossing them aside. Both of them impatiently shed the rest of their clothes - Spike let out a growl at the sight of her naked body, while Buffy’s breathing became labored.


Buffy clutched at his arm to pull him closer again. Not being able to stand it any longer, Spike crawled on top of her on the sarcophagus and thrust into her with one smooth motion, sealing a deep kiss at the same time.


Pulling back from the kiss, they starred at each other as their breaths hitched. Feeling overwhelming sensations, they both knew there was no turning back now.


Buffy dug her fingernails into Spike’s bare back, as he began to move against her, seeking friction. As they moved together in earnest, the world seemed to melt away.


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Chapter 12:

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He felt warm. An enveloping comfort spread all over his body as his dreams faded his reality…


This was different from before. The first couple of times had been urgent and lustful – the goal to fulfill needs that were bottled up inside. This time, they kissed slowly– softly. Lips grazing over each other tenderly, the pace was agonizing.

As they moved together, he lightly pushed back her hair from her damp skin and leaned down to catch her lip with his. Their previously expressive moans were replaced with hushed cries and light pants of breath. Before, it was overwhelming want. Now, their lust mingled with something else – something they couldn’t define. Starring into each other’s eyes as they moved against one another, they knew this wasn’t just sex, but neither of them dared to think beyond it.


A warm, soft body shifted in his arms and he instinctively moved closer, nuzzling the skin of her neck. When he felt hair tickle his nose, he was jerked out of his slumber, into reality. Unfortunately, as soon as he woke, the overwhelming pain in his head took over all the good feelings he had a few moments ago. Groaning, he opened an eyelid and saw golden hair cascading in front of his face. Her smooth back faced him and his arms were wrapped around her waist, as if it were the most natural thing.


“O Bloody Hell,” Spike said out loud, retracting his arms and putting his face in his hands.


Buffy stirred at the loss of contact, whimpering slightly in her sleep as she turned toward Spike seeking comfort. Spike tensed as Buffy rolled toward him, nestling against his chest. She made a slight noise of satisfaction as he stayed frozen in place. He made no effort to move, but panic was etched all over his face.


‘What the hell have we done?? Bloody hell, I’m such a drunken wanker!’ His head was screaming at him to jump up and leave before she woke up. But with her against him, it was as if his own body refused to get up.


Suddenly, Buffy groaned in discomfort. He froze again, knowing she had just woken up.


Her head was pounding. “Ugh…,” Buffy managed to get out. She was moving to her hand to clutch her head in pain, when she felt it brushing across something smooth, like skin. Freezing her movements, her eyes shot open and met with Spike’s chest.


“Oh god,” Buffy said as she backed away on the bed. Looking at Spike’s face, she was met with his equally troubled expression. Flashes came to her at full speed. The alcohol, the kiss, and the sex. And then more sex. ‘Oh my god, the sex.’ Her look was panicked as she now remembered all the different images in her head. ‘How did I let this happen??’


“What did we do?” Buffy asked despairingly as she put her hands over her face. Her hangover was not helping whatsoever.


“Apparently, many things,” Spike replied with a guilty look. His head was still reeling with confusion, but the images of their heated night bored into his mind.


Buffy suddenly realized both their states of undress. She quickly pulled at the sheet and covered her chest defensively. This act seemed to snap Spike out of it.


“Right,” Spike said as he shot up, cursing himself for the whole thing. This was just awkward. Looking around for his pants, he cringed at the sight of her bedroom. Apparently, the ‘many things’ they did included destroying everything around them. It looked like a chaotic mess.


At the same time, Buffy, wrapped in the sheet, was muttering under her breath while she searched for clothes to wear. Both of them avoided each other as they rushed to clothe themselves.


Abruptly, Buffy stopped as a thought came to her mind. She was supposed to be the one that would run away, not him! Disbelief of what they had done was now replaced with anger. Whirling around to face him, Buffy burst out suddenly, “I KNEW all you wanted to do was get into my pants!”


Spike stopped at her words and looked back at her. Finishing zipping up his jeans, he turned around to face her fully. “What the hell are you talking about?” he said in an annoyed voice.


“You!” Buffy shook her finger at him accusingly, “This is your fault! You just get me drunk when you KNOW that me plus alcohol equals un-mixy, and then you kiss me, and then you sleep with me! Now you’re practically fleeing from the scene!”


Spike looked outraged by her accusation. “Are you daft!? You’re trying to blame this ALL on me?? You act like I shoved a bottle down your throat! I seem to remember you downing several shots all on your own, you crazy bint. As for the rest, you seemed pretty eager yourself,” Spike said with a tight but smug smile. But he knew it was no laughing matter.


“I was drunk,” Buffy said indignantly as she held her chin high. She was trying to remain angry – it was the easy way out. Underneath, she was confused. She didn’t want them to stand here yelling at each other, topping today as one of her infamous ‘worst morning-afters’ ever. Her mind was screaming at her for committing such a mistake, but her heart was tearing at the old feeling of rejection.


He looked at her raised chin and saw her mask of bitchiness. But looking closely, he could see her eyes were slightly glistening and her chin trembled. He understood now. She was insecure. His angry expression slowly melted away.


“Buffy…,” Spike let out an exasperated sigh as his hand came to smooth his tousled hair.


Buffy was looking away, waiting for him to continue, but he didn’t. He just stood there, struggling to find words.


Holding the sheet securely around her, her eyes shot up to his. She asked demandingly, “What is this?” Her tone wavered and there was a hint of desperation as she said, “Why did we let this happen?”


Letting out a frustrated sigh, Spike stepped toward her until he had closed the distance between them. Her eyes lowered and her arms wrapped around her body tighter, holding the sheet.


“I don’t know…” Spike replied honestly. ‘Leave now you git! Get away from her!’ Instead, he found himself reaching towards her face. He brushed his thumb against her cheek caressingly, causing her to look up at him. Both of them were confused at what it meant. Last night was filled with a lot of emotions, emotions that they didn’t think were possible anymore.


And at his touch, her resolve broke down. Her body relaxed as he ran his hands down both of her arms lightly. Pulling her gently against him, he wrapped his arms around her, engulfing her in his embrace.


Her resistance melted, as he calmed her fears of rejection, but not completely. She sighed as she placed her forehead against his chest. He was soothingly running his hands down her back, but his face showed conflicting emotions.


“I left Dawn and mum alone and they’re probably wondering where am I…,” Spike pulled his head back to look at her. Tucking her hair behind her ear, he said, “I have to go…”


Masking her disappointment and the return of her fear, she gave him an understanding nod of the head. Spike didn’t know why the sight of her like that made his stomach tighten. He couldn’t stay to keep up this continuous battle of emotions. So, after placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, he was gone.


His touch lingered on her skin. She exhaled as she closed her eyes, trying to regain her composure. Opening her eyes, she looked around ‘her’ bedroom at the mess, and her anger and fear rose once again. She realized, how in the short time she had been here, Spike was able to break down all of her resolve and work his way into her emotions. It was something she didn’t think she could handle anymore.


-----


Walking through the cemetery, Spike’s mind raced with thoughts. His jumbled memories kept switching back to the images of him and Buffy having sex in the crypt. He searched his mind for how this all happened in the first place, and when exactly did they cross that boundary. ‘How did I get so drunk?’ Spike asked himself in frustration.


And then he stopped in his tracks. The dream. He remembered the dream from two nights ago. “Oh bleeding hell, someone kill me,” Spike said to himself pathetically.

------


“That can be arranged,” said the frustrated female, as she watched the scene in front of her. “Ahhhhh! Those twits are going to ruin everything!”


“What did you expect? You’ve seen the history between those two,” the male countered.


She glared at him momentarily. “I’ll deal with it.” She paused in thought. “Send her back in.”


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Tara was looking for something but she didn’t even know what. She was worried about Buffy, so she told Willow she would be researching some more magic spells over at the Magic Box. But now, sitting down looking over a bunch of books, she realized it was pretty much hopeless. All the information she had gotten from Buffy and the others was that Buffy had had a dream where the world was reversed – where humans were the majority and vampires were evil. If Tara didn’t know any better, she would think it was all some sort of Buffy fantasy…but she had a weird feeling about it. Something told her that Buffy was serious and she was hiding something else important.


With Anya and Giles gone, she was left to baby sit the store for the evening. It was a slow day anyway. Seeing nothing remotely related in the book she was reading, she sighed and closed it. Perhaps she would continue this tomorrow….


Tara got up and headed over to the bookshelf to put the book back in its place. The tight row of books was unrelenting as she tried to stick it back in between the others. Giving it a final big shove, she forced the book into its place, shaking the entire bookcase. ‘Thump!’


Tara jumped slightly as a book dropped down, missing her by a few inches. With startled eyes, she peered at the large book that had fallen onto the ground. Picking it up, she examined the dusty and intricately carved wooden cover. ‘How interesting. I’ve never seen this one before…’


She peered up to see where it had fallen from, but couldn’t find a vacant spot in sight. ‘Weird…’


She brought the heavy book over to the table and set it down. She opened the cover and was about to start reading the first page, but suddenly, the pages started turning rapidly, settling on a page in the middle of the book. Alarmed, Tara moved back for a moment – she had barely touched the pages and there wasn’t a draft in the Magic Box either. A chill went through her.


Hesitantly, she came closer to the book and peered at the page it had settled on.


It took her a while to decipher it. ‘The Myth of the Rajendra Gem?? What is that?’


The description was short. It seemed vague and incomplete: …It extends back before the time of humans or demons. Cast down by the Gods, it remains an unfound myth. It is said that its powers can be extracted to blend the forces of reality, for either good or evil.


That was all it said. Tara’s puzzled expression remained on her face as she flipped through the other pages, finding nothing else. Was this what she was looking for? There had to be more…


At that moment, the bell above the door rang. Giles, Willow, Anya, and Xander came walking in.


“Hey Tara!” everyone chimed. Willow smiled lovingly as she approached her, “Did you find any interesting spells?”


“Oh….uhhh…n-no, not yet,” Tara quickly smiled to mask her stutter.


“Whatcha got there?” Willow asked as she peered at the weird looking book on the table.


“Where did you find that, Tara?” Giles asked inquisitively, as he peered at the strange carvings.


She knew she was supposed to keep researching a secret for Buffy, but they caught her with the book, so she figured there was no way around it. “Um…it fell off the bookcase…you’ve never seen this before?” Tara asked, confused.


“No, I don’t believe I have…let me see,” Giles grabbed the book to examine it, running his hands along the unique cover. “It’s quite heavy, isn’t it? Are you sure it’s from my bookcase?”


“Yea, it dropped down when I was putting a different book back,” Tara replied.


“That thing looks like a tree,” Xander commented in the background.


“It looks valuable. I hope it’s worth lots of money,” Anya added.


“Well did you find anything interesting in it?” Giles asked as he turned to Tara and set down the book.


She had to show them – it was too cryptic. “Yea, actually…the book kind of just flew open to this page,” Tara said hesitantly, as she opened it back up and searched for the page she was looking at. There were no ‘flying’ pages this time. “Look at this part here,” she pointed.


“ The myth of the Rajendra Gem…It extends back before the time of humans or demons. Cast down by the Gods, it remains an unfound myth. It is said that its powers can be extracted to blend the forces of reality, for either good or evil. ” Giles had a uncertain look on his face. “Is that it?”


“Yea…weird, huh?” Tara said, drifting off into thought.


“What are you trying to research?” Giles asked her.


“Well…I…um,” Tara sighed. “I was researching more on Buffy’s dream. You know, the one she had a couple nights ago?”


Xander rolled his eyes. “What is the big deal? She had a DREAM. We already wasted some time looking into it and there’s nothing.”


“Why did you decide to research again, Tara?” Willow had a puzzled look.


“I dunno…I guess I just felt it bothering me, and decided to take a look around the books…but now I can’t figure out this passage…what do you think it means?” Tara asked the group.


Willow read it again under her breath. It was silent as all of them had a pondering look.


Willow’s eyes widened. “Oh Oh! Blend of reality, reality blending! Do you think it has to do with Buffy’s dream?”


“I’m not quite sure…that’s sort of vague to conclude a world reversal, don’t you agree?” Giles asked with a tilt of his head. “It could mean a certain number of things. Blending of reality could mean like…insanity or an illusion.”


“Maybe it’s telling us that Buffy is insane and we shouldn’t be researching her dream,” Xander emphasized.


“Honey, be quiet now,” Anya said with a roll of her eyes.


The bell on the door rang. A blonde stepped in.


“Hey guys. Did you miss me?” Leanna said with a haughty smirk.



-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 13:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


“Hey guys. Did you miss me?” Leanna said with a haughty smirk.


Everyone froze. It took a deafening second before Willow seemed to snap out of it and replied meekly, “Hi Leanna…”

No one knew how to react – they all knew Spike had already broken up with her and she was not known for her good temper. Any moment now, they were expecting the bitch fest to explode.


“Oh c’mon guys! I don’t bite,” Leanna raised her brow as an amused smile lit her skanky face.


“H-how are you, Leanna?” Tara managed to stutter out. She wasn’t sure what to say or why Leanna was here. Usually, she came as a Spike accessory.


“I’m great and how are you, Tara?” Leanna answered back with false sincerity. It was kind of creepy.


“Huh?” Xander interjected, confused at her out-of-character reply. “Who are you and what have you done to Leanna?”


“What he means to say is, why are you here and why are you being nice when Spike dumped you the other day?” Anya demanded to know.


Leanna’s eyes briefly flashed with anger, but she quickly turned her expression into a mischievous smile a.k.a. a sluttish-looking smile. “Spike didn’t dump me. He said he wanted to take a break. By the end of the week, he’ll be running back to me. And it will probably lead to one of our many sessions of make-up sex.”


“Oh sweet mother of all that is good and pure! Please don’t say things like that!” Xander exclaimed as he shuddered at the thought. Everyone else cringed – except Anya of course.


“Whatever,” Leanna rolled her eyes. “Where’s Spike?”


“Actually,” Giles began with a pondering look, “that’s a good question.” He turned to the others.


“We don’t know either, do we?” Willow said as she turned to look at Tara, Xander and Anya.


They all shook their heads.


Leanna looked pissed off. Her grey eyes shone with anger. “I guess the better question is: where’s little miss Buffy??”


“Anddddd she’s back!” Xander commented sarcastically.


“W-we haven’t seen them today,” Tara dared to reply.


“Well, I guess I’ll just have to stay here and wait,” Leanna said as she began to pull out a chair at the table and sat down – to everyone’s dismay.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


She desperately needed to shower, like NOW. Ever since Spike left, she had been pacing around the crypt arguing with herself, with her emotions. She was confused, mad, weirded out, and again, confused.


But then, she heard a noise from above. Halting in her steps, she heard the door of the crypt open. A part of her prayed it was Spike, while the other hoped she didn’t have to see him and confront it all. Her thoughts were shattered by someone else’s voice calling out, “Buffy? You here?”


Knowing that wasn’t Spike’s voice, she panicked with her state of undress, and her crypt’s current state of chaos. Heart racing, she flew around the room grabbing her clothes, quickly flung a sweater over her head and practically jumped into a pair of pants. Bracing herself for a possible assailant, she grabbed the lamp on her dresser and posed herself with a spread-out stance.


“Buffy? You down here?”


Buffy was about to step forward and bash the lamp across the top of the descending figure on her ladder, when he suddenly turned around.


“AHHHHHH! It’s me! It’s me!! Don’t hit me!!” the guy screamed.


She stopped the lamp inches before it hit the stranger in the head. “Who are you!?!” Buffy demanded, skepticism in her eyes. One thing made her relax – he was human.


The guy clutched his chest as he breathed heavily from the near-attack. “Are you trying to kill me? What’s gotten into you??”


Buffy looked skeptic. She peered at the intruder, who she didn’t think she had ever seen before. Yet he was acting like he knew her, and he had a slight feeling of familiarity to him. He was a young looking guy, somewhere in his twenties she guessed.


“Do I know you?” Buffy asked with a puzzled look.


“Earth to Buffy! It’s Clem! What’s wrong with you?” he said as he peered at her curiously. “Uh, can you lose the lamp?”


‘Clem!?!? He doesn’t look like Clem!’ Buffy was confused. She should have guessed Clem was human, considering Harmony was too, but this guy??


(This is what he looks like, James Charles Leary, the actor who plays Clem http://www.imdb.com/gallery/hh/0495262/HH/0495262/headshot.JPG?path=pgallery&path_key=Leary,%20James%20Charles )


“But you have tight skin and…and you’re…normal looking!” Buffy both exclaimed and questioned.


“Uh…yeaaaa. Can you put the lamp down first?” Clem asked with a worried look.


“Oh! Yea, sorry…” Buffy put the lamp down, as she continued to be baffled.


“You feeling alright, Buffy?” Clem asked with a suspicious look. He took that moment to pause and look at her current state of disheveled hair and clothing, and the crypt for that matter. “WHOA! What happened here??”


Buffy, who had been starring at Clem with a ‘HUH?’ look, snapped out of it and saw what he was asking about.


Buffy’s eyes widened and she opened her mouth to explain. But Clem’s eyes reached the bed, and he darted his eyes from Buffy to the mess on the ground to the bed and back again. Before she could say anything, she saw Clem’s eyes widen in understanding. ‘Shit’ she thought.


“You and Spike had sex here!!” Clem exclaimed with an amused, but accusing tone.


---


Spike was mentally hitting himself in the head while he was walking home. He couldn’t believe he allowed himself to get THAT drunk and let all that happen. ‘Yea, just keep telling yourself that, you wanker.’


“Oh bugger,” Spike said out loud as he stopped in his steps, reaching the front of his house. He had forgotten about how he was going to explain to Dawn and mum. He couldn’t go in there looking and smelling like he did – like Buffy. Standing there thinking for a few minutes, he knew he was going to have to make a run for it up to the shower.


He exhaled an unnecessary breath, and started a full out run, whipping open the door, and dashing for the stairs. ‘Almost there!’ he thought to himself urgently.


“Spike!” Dawn exclaimed, as she popped out into view at the top of the stairs, effectively blocking his path and almost causing him to stumble backward down the steps.


“Where have you been? Mom and I have been wor-,” Dawn cut herself off. She made a puzzled face, and sniffed.


‘Oh shit’ Spike thought with his eyes closed.


Looking at her brother, Dawn saw his disheveled hair and her eyes widened at the unmistakable smell that reached her nose.


“OMG,” Dawn began.


“Nibblet…”


“EWWWWW,” Dawn said with a disgusted face. “You had sex! With Buffy! I can smell her all over you!!” She paused in her initial disgust, and a small smile lit her face, “And yay.”

---

Buffy went on the defensive, “What? No, No - No sex!”


“Buffy, it’s so obvious! Look around you! Look at you! Oh wow, I guess I should have seen it coming, but I never knew you guys would get over yourselves!” Clem said with an amazed voice.


“No, it’s not what you think!” She shook her head adamantly.


Clem rolled his eyes, “It’s not like you didn’t want to, what with you in love with him and everything.”


“No love! I don’t love Spike!” Buffy yelled with a slight whine at the end.


“Oh you’re back to pretending you hate him again…” Clem said as he sighed.


“I’m not pretending, I swear! It was all an accident!” Buffy defended with denial face.


“Uh-huh sureeeeee. Then why did you sleep with him? Let’s hear it, just for the heck of it.” He crossed his arms and looked at her with a challenging look.


---


“Dawn, it’s not what you think!”


Dawn gave Spike a disbelieving look. “Uh….huh…What I think is that you two finally had sex because you could no longer contain your pent up sexual frustrations for each other.” She crossed her arms and raised her eyebrow at him.


“…”


Well, he really couldn’t contest with that.


“Exactly,” Dawn said with a satisfied smirk.


Spike sighed, “No, it was-…We were drunk!”


With an indifferent look, she asked, “And that is different from other nights….how?”


“Very cheeky, nibblet.”


“Well?”


“Well, I got caught up in the moment. This guy just pissed me off, and I saved her from him. Post-saving madness, I’m telling you!” Spike replied in a very uncharacteristic rant.


“Once again, and that is different how? Spike, you save Buffy from something or another like every week and have been doing so for the past few years. When are you going to realize what that means?”


---


“Well?” Clem asked, “What’s the story?”


“It was an accident - Last night we got drunk and…and I wasn’t thinking clearly and he gave me a flower and he saved me from that ugly guy and then next thing I know we were kissing! It’s not my fault – I swear! He’s a stupid vampire for saving me!” Buffy finished with childish emphasis.


“Stupid, yes,” Clem said with a roll of his eyes. “But you know he saves you all the time – has been for the past few years now – how is that your excuse for sleeping with him accidentally?” Clem said the last word with finger air quotes.


Buffy stood there stunned. She hadn’t expected to hear that Spike had been saving her ass for the past few years. She had somehow assumed that before she landed in this crazy place, Spike was a total bastard to her -judging from his initial slamming-of-door-in-face the first night she got here.


‘Even here, he keeps looking out for me’ Buffy thought, as she felt a tightening of her stomach at the mushy thought.


“Why don’t you two just be official already?” Clem asked.


Buffy’s eyes shot up to his at his question. “What makes you think I want a relationship with him?” Buffy answered defensively. And a flicker of sadness crossed her face, as she remembered what world she was in, “…Or that he would want one with me?”


“Because of the way you two look at each other. And now the apparently long night of sex you guys had…,” Clem replied as he looked around the room.


---


“It means that it’s not right to let her die when she can’t hurt anyone,” Spike replied evenly.


“If I have to hear that one more time, I’m going to bleach your hair blue while you’re sleeping,” Dawn said curtly.


She threw her hands up in frustration at Spike’s denial. “Ugh! You make me want to kick you! Just go out with her already!”


Spike shook his head, “It’s wrong...” As he uttered these words, his mind drifted to a memory. But the memory that flashed through his mind wasn’t of Buffy – it was the image of Drusilla killing a child, and how he hid the truth about it. Subconsciously, he had linked Drusilla to Buffy because they were both humans, which somehow made being with Buffy another mistake he couldn’t afford to make.


“But I don’t know anymore...,” he trailed off, thinking about the way he had felt right before he woke up with Buffy in his arms. “Promise me you won’t tell anyone,” Spike said with a serious look.


“Whatever,” Dawn rolled her eyes.


“Dawn,” Spike pushed.


“Ok fine. I promise,” Dawn said with a sour expression. “You better shower now because mom will be home any minute. And in the shower you should come up with your story for why you didn’t come home…”


He relaxed, and moved to go up the stairs to the shower, messing up Dawn’s hair in a sign of playful thanks.


“Hey! I just straightened it!”


---


“I don’t know,” Buffy said, sitting on the edge of the bed and putting her hands in her face. “I don’t know what’s going on with anything around here. I’m like 40 kinds of confused…”


Clem looked at her sympathetically, but didn’t say anything.


Buffy realized something that snapped her out of her pity party. “Hey Clem,” Buffy started, “Why are you my friend if you’re human?? Aren’t I like some kind of backstabber to you people? Fighting with vampires and all that? Or did you not know that and now you are going to try to kill me? Oh wait, you know Spike is a vampire though…That’s weird…OK sorry, rant over,” Buffy finished as she waited for an answer.


“You know, there were some rumors going around about you having amnesia, but I didn’t really think much about it until now,” Clem looked at her curiously before continuing. “I’m not the violent type …I got a wife and a new-born baby at home. You can do whatever you want, Buffy. We’ve been good friends for a while and you’ve always protected my family, so I don’t question it. I just came over to check up on you since I haven’t seen you come around in a while. But I can see you’ve been busy,” Clem said with a smile.


Buffy looked sheepish. “Uh yea...thanks for checking up on me, but I kind of REALLY need a shower, so do you mind if we…” Buffy didn’t have to finish.


“Sure thing. I’ll talk to you soon.” Clem smiled and then left her alone.


‘Now to that shower. A cold, cold one,’ Buffy thought with her eyes closed.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Back at the Magic Box, the others exchanged nervous glances. It was deafly quiet – especially since none of them had a heartbeat. It was an awkward moment, but Leanna just looked around with wide eyes, pretending not to notice their puzzled glances.


“Oh what’s this thing?” Leanna asked as she grabbed the tree-book on the table to examine it. She flipped through the pages quickly like some girly magazine and had a bored expression on her face. “Yawn.”


“It’s a book that Tara found today,” Giles replied.

“Oh yea, I forgot for a second that you guys are complete nerds.” Leanna stood up and tossed her hair back. “Well if Spike isn’t showing up, I’m leaving because you guys are making me fall asleep.” She began to step forward towards the door when Giles jumped in.


“Actually, Leanna,” he began, “I was wondering if you could do some extra patrolling this week. There’s been some extra human activity at the border of the north cemetery that has been causing trouble.”


“Yea sure, whatever,” Leanna replied with indifference.


“I appreciate it…thanks…,” Giles finished hesitantly. She usually wasn’t this agreeable. Something had to be wrong…


As she turned to leave, the door opened before she reached it, revealing Spike.


His eyes widened in surprise, as his body remained frozen in place – a true deer-caught-in-the-headlights look.


“Leanna!” Spike exclaimed with a surprised tone. “What are you doing here?” He glanced behind her to look at his friends, who had all slowly begun backing away from them. ‘I’m glad I took a shower first!’ Spike thought, relieved.


She looked at him with an uplifted brow and stepped forward, causing him to move to the right in reaction. He didn’t want a replay of the punch-the-Spike episode in the alley.


“Whoa now, Leanna,” Spike said as he put up his arms in protest.


“I’m not trying to hit you, Spike,” Leanna said in a sugar-coated voice, “I’m sorry about punching you before.”


“What?? You’re sorry?” Spike asked, bewildered. He looked at her suspiciously, “Who are you?”


Leanna’s patience broke. “I can be nice, ok!? God, can’t I say sorry and see how people are doing without you guys accusing me of being someone else!?”


‘There she is!’ Spike thought.


“So…what? You’re not mad at me anymore? You’re ok with breaking up?” Spike asked hesitantly.


“Yea sure, whatever. I know it won’t last,” Leanna said as she approached him. Giving him a coy smile, she whispered close to his face, “the making-up is the best part, remember?”


Spike mentally cringed, but showed no emotion on the outside. Why he was ever with her was now a mystery to him. So much had changed so soon. But one thing he knew for sure was that Leanna was out of the picture. And she needed to know it.


“Leanna…when I said taking a break, I meant breaking up,” Spike bluntly replied. More shuffling backwards was heard in the background.


The pissed off look on her face was only intensified by her freakish grey eyes. But instead of an expected explosion, Leanna lifted the corners of her mouth into a tight smirk, and challenged him. “You know I don’t lose, Spike,” Leanna said with a seductive tone, “ever.” ‘Even if it takes getting rid of my competition.’

She trailed one finger down his chest as her face came close to his, almost kissing him. But instead of a kiss, she pushed him back with her finger, shot him a challenging glare and stormed out of the Magic Box.

The gang let out collective sighs of relief, as Spike stood there looking thoroughly annoyed. ‘How did I stand that bint for so long? She’s completely nuts.’

Spike finally looked up at his friends. Xander looked like he was about to say something snarky. “Not a bloody word out of you, whelp.”

Xander closed his mouth and decided to let it go at the look on Spike’s face.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


On the other side of town, a train pulled into Sunnydale station. As a crowd of people began stepping off the train, she emerged slowly and looked around her with a dreamy expression.

"Look Ms. Edith, we're home."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Chapter 14:

Buffy walked toward the Magic Box, hoping Tara had some news. She couldn’t think about Spike right now, because whenever she did, it scared her. How could she let herself get so emotionally involved? ‘It’s Spike!’ she tried to yell at herself incredulously. ‘It’s just sex! Stop thinking about it!’


But her mind couldn’t help wandering to the feeling of waking up with his arms around her – his arms wrapped protectively around her waist, making her feel more safe than she had been in ages.


‘Ah no! Stop thinking Spike thoughts!’ Buffy yelled to herself, as she shook her head to rid the images.


When she finally willed herself to focus on the matter at hand, she opened the Magic Box door and started to walk in.


“Hi-,” Buffy cut herself off at the sight of Spike, leaning against the counter. He looked up and their eyes locked, both tensing at each other’s presence.


A suspicious look flashed across Tara’s face as she observed the exchange of silence. Seconds ticked by…


“Hey Buffy,” Tara interrupted their moment and Buffy jerked her head up, breaking eye contact with him.


“H-hey Tara,” Buffy replied, trying to focus on her and not the blonde to her side. “Hey guys.”


“Hey,” the others replied.


“Buffy, I found something yesterday,” Tara began. “It’s not much, but it’s something…”


“Really??” Buffy couldn’t help but sound extremely hopeful. She darted her eyes around to look at the others, wondering if Tara let them in on what she was looking for.


“Oh y-yea…I told them,” Tara gave her an apologetic look. She quickly added, “But I had to b-because…well…look at this book…” She showed Buffy the wooden book.


Spike walked over to the table and looked at the book curiously. “What the hell is it?” he said with a furrowed brow.


“Where did it come from? I didn’t see that one when we were all researching,” Buffy asked, confused.


“Well, no one knows where it came from. It just dropped down from the bookcase. A-and when I was looking at it, the pages flipped to this one,” Tara pointed to the section.


Buffy and Spike both reached out to grab the book from Tara at the same time. As their hands brushed against each other’s, a warm tingle radiated from the contact and they locked eyes. Jerking their hands away quickly, they dropped the book with a thud, causing the rest of the gang to look up at them.


The others looked confused at the fumbling blondes, who were looking slightly uncomfortable as they avoided each other’s gaze. Buffy and Spike looked up to see them starring.


“Something wrong?” Tara asked, amused at their apparent tension. She had a feeling they were hiding something.


“What? Oh, it was just kind of heavy, that’s all,” Buffy replied nervously. Spike was picking up the book and trying to appear composed. How a little innocent touch like that could bring back a graphic flash of memories was lost to him.


“You guys are acting funny…What gives?” Xander eyed them suspiciously.


“Nothing,” they both replied at the same time. Anya, Tara, and Willow all gave each other a look. Xander looked back and forth between this brief exchange, and his expression turned into a puzzled frown.


Giles caught the exchange as well, and he looked up at Buffy and Spike, realizing how much he hadn’t been paying attention these past few days. ‘Did something happen? They’re acting very peculiar…’ He kept quiet though, cleaning his glasses as he thought to himself.


Buffy and Spike grew nervous at all the looks being exchanged at their expense. Resorting to snarky, Spike said, “What? You guys act like you’ve never seen mutual hate before.” He finished with a roll of his eyes.


The words stung more than Buffy expected. She knew they were playing the avoid-y game and that’s how she liked it, but her stomach clenched at his words. Whether it was an act or the truth, it brought back all of her insecurities about their sex-capades. Anger began to boil inside her at thought of being used. ‘That’s all it was, sex.’ It was both what she had been telling herself, and a disappointing feeling at the same time.


“Yea, you guys should be use to it by now,” Buffy replied coldly. She moved closer to Spike to look at the book, but avoided eye contact, forcing herself not to be affected by their closeness.


He looked down at her by his side, and felt the anger coming off of her. He suddenly felt like a total wanker. He hadn’t thought before he opened his mouth. She was hurt. Pushing away his thoughts, he forced himself to focus on the book.


They read the description to themselves. Buffy scrunched up for forehead in thought, anger suddenly forgotten. “That’s it?” Buffy said with obvious disappointment on her face.


“Well, yea…,” Tara replied sympathetically, “but the book literally flipped to this page on its own. That’s gotta mean it’s i-important, right?...”


“I guess…,” Buffy said with a sad look, stepping away from Spike and the book. Spike frowned at her hasty move to get away from him, and why he cared that much anyway.


“Maybe, we can find out more about this gem somewhere else,” Tara said in a hopeful voice.


The front door opened abruptly, and Leanna came waltzing in, causing a round of silent groans.


Leanna’s fury rose at the sight of Buffy, but she quickly suppressed it and put on a sarcastic smile. “Oh hi Buffy,” Leanna said with scheming eyes and false cheerfulness.


“Huh?” Buffy asked with a dumbfounded expression. She was guessing Leanna didn’t know anything about her and Spike, but nevertheless, the nice greeting was chillingly creepy.


“I’m glad you’re here,” Leanna continued with fake conviction.


“I’m scared,” Xander commented in a nervous voice.


“Um…actually, me too,” Spike replied slowly, as he took a cautious step back.


“YOU are glad I’M here?” Buffy asked with complete confusion.


“Well of course! After our little talk the other day, I thought we were friends now?” Leanna asked innocently.


“What talk?” Buffy and Spike simultaneously questioned. They really had to stop doing that.


Leanna walked up to Buffy, and to the shock of many, took Buffy’s hands in hers like a comforting friend and said, “Listen Buffy. I know you didn’t want me to say anything about what you told me, but I really have to.” She dropped Buffy’s hands and stepped back with a fake ‘sorry’ smile.


Buffy look at her hands like they had been burned and deformed. “What the heck are you talking about?” Buffy asked quickly.


Leanna ignored her and turned to Spike. “Spike, Buffy told me everything.”


“What are you talking about? Told you what?” Spike asked.


“I know about Drusilla,” Leanna said with a calculating look.


Spike’s eyes widened. He cautiously asked, “What do you mean?”


“I’m talking about the part where you failed to tell the rest of us that Drusilla killed a child and you made her leave to cover it up.”


“What!?!?” the others exclaimed. A flurry of questions came at him from all directions. Buffy stood frozen, wondering how Leanna knew and realizing what she was plotting with her false act of friendship.


“Spike, what the hell is she talking about?” Xander exclaimed.


“I thought Drusilla left on her own?” Giles asked.


Panic surfaced in him. The thing he had been hiding for so long was suddenly thrown out into the open. Realizing he only told Buffy, he turned to her and threw her an accusing and murderous glare.


Buffy saw the rage in his eyes, and the hurt behind them. He didn’t believe that she would actually tell Leanna, did he? “Spike, I didn’t tell her anything, I swear! I don’t even know what ‘talk’ she’s talking about! We don’t even get along - you know that!”


“I didn’t tell anyone else, slayer,” Spike said with malice.


“So it’s true??” Willow asked, perplexed.


“Why didn’t you ever tell us?” Anya badgered.


“You are the biggest scheming bitch I have ever met in my whole life,” Buffy said with pure contempt as she stared Leanna down. “I don’t know how you found out, but I sure as hell wouldn’t tell YOU anything, you slut.”


Spike ignored the stare down between Leanna and Buffy. Instead, he was focused on the gang, who were waiting impatiently for answers.


He sighed in frustration. He was trapped and there was no way out of it. “…Drusilla didn’t leave because she wanted to, like I told you guys...” He looked down in shame, “She was going crazy and getting violent. She…she killed a child before I could stop her.”


He clenched his jaw as continued, “I know how wrong it was…but I couldn’t bring myself to kill her, so I let her go…” Pain was evident on his face. The memory was distant and unattached, but the hurt expressions on the faces of his friends were not.


“How could you let her get away with that?” Giles accused.


“And how could you not tell us and tell Buffy!?” Xander exclaimed.


“I don’t know myself,” Spike turned to Buffy with a cold expression.


“I didn’t tell Leanna!” Buffy protested. “Can’t you see she’s trying to make it seem like I did!?”


“Actually, why did you just tell us this, Leanna?” Tara asked.


Leanna gave Tara a ‘glad-you-asked’ expression, before she turned back to Spike. “Because she’s back in town. I just saw her.”


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Dawn was at home making herself a snack before mom came home to make dinner. ‘Peanut butter is oh so yummy. Tastes good with blood.’ She hummed to herself as she put pure peanut butter in a bowl and warmed up some blood in a mug.


The doorbell rang and she looked at her peanut-y fingers with a frown. She quickly licked each finger and wiped her hands on her jeans. “Coming!” Dawn yelled loudly at the door.


Hoping it was Buffy, she reached for the knob and flung the door open. Instead of a blonde human, she was met with a brunette one. Drusilla.


“Drusilla,” Dawn both said and questioned with a surprised look.


“Hello little one,” she began. Drusilla looked amazingly calm and composed, but it gave Dawn a very eerie feeling that something was off. Drusilla had always looked a little frightening, with her jet black hair and dark eyes contrasting her pale skin. Her beauty was chilling, like it should be feared, not appreciated.


“I’ve come back to my prince. He’s been very, very naughty. He will have no cakes today, no he won’t.”


Dawn looked at her like she was insane. Nothing had changed apparently. “Spike’s not here, Drusilla.”


“I will wait for him. Invite me in, please,” Drusilla said with a polite look.


Dawn hesitated. She knew Drusilla was Spike’s ex, but the idea of being in the house alone with her gave her an uneasy feeling.


“Maybe you should come back later,” Dawn began cautiously.


Drusilla began to whimper. She held her doll up for Dawn to see. “Miss Edith is hungry. Can we have something yummy to eat?”


Dawn was apprehensive, but she thought Spike might be mad at her if she turned Drusilla away. Reluctantly, Dawn said, “Ok…I guess you could come in and get something to eat.”


Drusilla’s eyes glistened at the invitation, as she stepped in the barrier-less door.


Dawn let Drusilla follow her into the kitchen. “Why did you come back, Drusilla?”


“I’ve come to make everything right again. I won’t let the evil birdie ruin the tea party,” she said with a hint of anger.


“What?” Dawn scrunched up her face. She always had the hardest time deciphering Dru’s gibberish.


“The slayer. She floats around taunting me, taunting my poor Spike.” Her eyes turned pitch black as her light mood came to an abrupt end.


But Dawn wasn’t looking. She was pulling non-blood things of the fridge for Drusilla, with her head lowered. “Oh you mean Buffy. Well you have been gone a long time, Drusilla.” Dawn stood up with her arms full of random food items and she plopped it down on the counter. When Dawn looked up at Drusilla, she froze at the look on her face.


She looked downright scary. Her eyes looked stormy black. Drusilla said, “Where is my Spike? Tell Miss Edith.”


Dawn backed up a step as Drusilla came closer. “I-I don’t know,” she faltered as she inched away.


“Tsk tsk. Tell me or I shall be very cross with you,” Drusilla said as she stepped towards Dawn slowly.


“Drusilla, maybe you should come back later…,” Dawn said nervously.


In a flash of a moment, Drusilla slashed her sharp nails down against Dawn’s cheek. At the same time, Dawn vamped and cried out in pain, as she felt the blood trickle on her face. She clutched her cheek at the burning pain, but when she opened her eyes in fear, Drusilla wasn’t there. Scared, she held her cheek and looked to both sides. The door was open – Drusilla was already gone.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------


He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. ‘How could she come back?? She was never supposed to come back…’


“If she’s back, then we need to find her. She’s dangerous,” Giles said.


Spike was snapped out of his thoughts. “Right. Let’s split up, we’ll cover more ground.”


“Leanna, where did you see her?” Giles asked.


“She was wandering around near the Bronze about an hour ago,” Leanna replied.


The others grabbed a few basic weapons, just in case, and started to file out. Spike avoided looking at Buffy. She felt an urgent need to defend herself still.


“Spike,” Buffy began.


“Save it,” Spike replied, and he walked out, leaving Leanna and Buffy in the room.


Buffy was about to follow, but she paused and turned around, staring at Leanna with a murderous look. “If I could, I would kick your ass right now until you begged me to stake you.”


Leanna stalked up to her until they were face to face. “But you can’t, can you?” she said with a smug look. Her expression turned deadly, and her grey eyes seemed to darken. “You can’t do anything about it.”


Fury bubbled up inside Buffy. Her natural instinct said to start whooping some ass, but she knew what the chip felt like, and it would only work against her pride if she tried anything. Instead, she forced herself to push the rage aside, turn around, and walk out without responding. She’d have to find some way to kick the bitch’s ass, but right now, she needed to talk to Spike.


Leanna watched her go with a gleeful look on her face. She had expected Spike to start defending the stupid tramp, but it was like he was just looking for a reason to be mad at Buffy. With a content sigh, she turned around and walked over to the table. Now that they were all gone, she finally had her chance.


Looking at the wooden book, she ran her fingers along the cover before opening it and shuffling through it once again. Finding the page she wanted, she quickly ripped it out of the book. Folding it up in a small square, she stuffed it down her shirt, closed the book, and turned to go pretend she was looking for Drusilla.



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