Chapter 19:

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The house was empty and the T.V. was on, but neither of them was watching. Instead, Spike was lying on top of Buffy on the couch doing what they’ve been doing for the past few days – making out.


Spike slipped his hands underneath her shirt and drove it up, moving up her stomach to her breasts. As he kissed her lustfully, tongues teasing, he ground down into her. Buffy eagerly arched up for more contact, tightening her hold around his neck and bringing Spike’s body even closer. At the feel of his cool hands massaging her breasts, she thrust up and moaned into his mouth, causing Spike’s arousal to jerk in response.


Buffy brought her hand down in between them and pushed Spike’s chest away, breaking their kiss as she gasped for air. Spike, with eyes clouded over in lust, looked at her in confusion.


“What?” he croaked.


“Breathe,” Buffy panted, signaling that she needed to, and stopping was not a voluntary thing.


“Yea, ok,” Buffy said quickly as she pulled Spike’s head back down to her lips. And they resumed their fast and urgent pace, sexual frustration totally kicking their ass for the last couple of days.


And then they could hear keys jingle. Buffy heard the knob turning and quickly stopped her ministrations, pushing Spike off of her and causing him to roll off the couch and fall flat on his back. Dawn and Joyce had opened the door just in time to witness the sudden Spike hurdle.


“Ow, bloody hell woman,” Spike complained as he rubbed his head. He flashed her a quick pout at the loss of contact and she gave him an apologetic smile before turning to look up at Dawn and Joyce.


“Hi!” she said in a chipper voice, “we’re just watching some T.V. – wanna join us?” She tried to act casual on the couch though her hair was in disarray and her shirt was now on sideways. Not to mention the vampire flung onto the ground.


Both Dawn and Joyce gave them an unbelieving, upraised brow.


“Can you two not get all horn dog on each other in the house so much? Hello? I still live here and yes, I still have vampire hearing. You’re scarring me for life,” Dawn said dramatically.


“Dawn’s right. Not that I don’t know what you two probably do together,” Joyce coughed the end before continuing, “but seriously honey, the smacking noises are highly disturbing for a mother.”


Buffy blushed and looked embarrassed, and actually, Spike looked sheepish too as he scratched the back of his head. He mumbled, “Sorry, mum.”


He got up from the ground and sat up on the couch. Buffy tried to alleviate her embarrassment by saying, “I promise we’ll just watch T.V. now. Smack-free peacefulness.”


Spike pulled Buffy to sit closer to him and put his arm around her, turning to kiss her on the temple before settling against the couch. She rested her head against his chest as they began to try and stare at the screen.


Joyce smiled at the couple before joining Dawn in the kitchen. They looked so natural with each other.


Buffy had her left hand intertwined with Spike’s hand which was sitting on her shoulder, while her right hand rested on his upper thigh – something that did not go unnoticed by Spike. When she gave him a squeeze on the inner thigh, he tensed and shifted in his seat, trying to keep it clean for Dawn and Joyce’s sake. Spike shot her a knowing look, but she just smiled coyly at him and continued watching the screen.


“Vixen,” he whispered deeply into her ear, sending shudders through her body. He got a playful glint in his eyes and moved his head down to kiss Buffy’s neck tenderly, causing her to inhale sharply at the tingly feeling. He began to nibble and lick, kissing her at the curve of her neck. She let out a raspy breath as she tried to not let his ministrations affect her, but of course it wasn’t working.


He began biting a little bit harder with his blunt teeth and caressing the spot with his tongue to distract her. Suddenly, she realized what he was doing. She pulled back and slapped his chest playfully. “Hey!” she exclaimed, trying to give him a lecturing look.


He stuck his tongue between his teeth and continued to leer at her neck, moving in again. Buffy backed herself away on the couch and from there, it turned into a full on struggle. Buffy squirmed to get away from his grasp as Spike playfully kept trying to pin down her wrists so he could get back to work on her neck.


“You…stupid…doof!” Buffy managed to get out in between her struggles.


Spike captured both of her wrists and brought them up above her head, effectively pinning her underneath him. “Sexy doof, you mean,” Spike corrected as he went in for the attack. She was about to give in and let him mar her neck again, until they heard Dawn yell in an annoyed voice, “We’re still here!!”


Spike looked frustrated and glanced down at Buffy. They seemed to be reading each other’s thoughts. They hurriedly got up from the couch and started for the door. “We’re going patrolling!” Spike yelled over to the kitchen and with that, they were out the door.


“Yea, sure, patrolling,” Dawn said. “They’ve been patrolling for days now,” she said with air quotes.


Joyce just smiled and continued making food. “As long as they’re not patrolling in my house.”


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They walked hand in hand towards the cemetery, just enjoying the comfortable feel of being together.


Buffy turned her head sideways to look at Spike and asked, “So have you spoken to the gang?”


He raised an eyebrow, “You mean since they told us about that mysterious spell?”


“Yea…or also known as the day you almost kicked Xander’s ass for comparing me to Leanna,” she started out accusatory, but then realized what she said, “Ok, now that I think of it, he sooo deserves an ass-kicking.”


He scoffed. “No, I haven’t really talked to them. Though Red and Glinda have called a couple of times.”


“Yea? Anything new?” Buffy asked in a hesitant tone. Somewhere along the line, asking about the whole reversal thing had stopped being her top priority. It was wrong to ignore the very thing she should have been searching for, but she kept forcing that thought out of her head, and living in the moment – here with Spike.


They stopped in the middle of the cemetery, where everything seemed to be quiet. Buffy withdrew her hand from Spike’s and hopped up backwards to sit on a big tombstone. Spike came to stand in between her legs.


“C’mere,” Spike said as he drew her head closer so he could give her a kiss. She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, complying. They drew back, and touched their foreheads together, savoring the feel of each other. He ran the back of his hand across her cheeks softly as she played with the ends of his hair.


They did not yet have “the talk” – the one where they assessed what their relationship meant and how it was progressing, but they both knew that there was a deep emotion there – one that neither of them could yet say.


“Does it still hurt?” Spike asked, looking down at her stomach.


It took Buffy a moment to realize he was talking about her wound, and she replied, “Oh. No, it’s practically all better.” She gave his concerned look a reassuringly bright smile.


“Mmm, does that mean I get to ravage you now?” Spike said with a leer.


She couldn’t help the jolts that ran through her body at the anticipation of his words. His hands moved up her thighs slowly. “Yes…,” she breathed out, and as he moved forward with an elated expression, she quickly amended, “No!”


He frowned, but she added, “I mean, yes, but just not here, in the middle of a cemetery,” Buffy finished as she crinkled her nose.

“I dunno, it could be fun,” Spike whispered suggestively.


“Yea sure, until people pop out of nowhere and interrupt us during an important moment,” Buffy said.
“Then we’d have to stop and fight them and I’d be extremely frustrated,” she finished with a pout.


He chuckled and moved his hands up and down her arms, still standing in between her legs as she sat on the tombstone.


She tilted her head up in thought and frowned. “Unless they’re vampires and then you’d have to take care of it…”


He caught the disappointment in her voice and looked a little hurt. “Don’t you like it when I take care of you?”


She looked at him and didn’t answer for a moment, just gazing into his eyes. Finally, she reached out to touch the scar on his eyebrow and said softly, “Yea, a little too much.” It wasn’t just a compliment – it was an indication of something deeper.


He realized that the mood had gotten from playful to thoughtful in 2 seconds flat. But he wanted to know. He felt a surge of hurt at all the hidden implication that she was keeping her thoughts from him. “Tell me,” he said evenly, keeping the negativity out of his voice.


She sighed and backed up a little. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry.”


“It’s something. You can tell me, luv,” Spike said as he starred at her, intense with affectionate emotion.


She furrowed her brows to try to find a way to explain it. “Ok…,” Buffy began with a sigh.


“Before, I just felt like I always had to keep fighting.”


Spike assumed she meant before the chip, but Buffy was referring to home.


“It was….what’s the word…monotonous? mechanic?” Buffy sighed. “I was tired – tired of always having to defend myself. I had so many responsibilities. I’m the Slayer – the Chosen One, blah blah. Also known as: Buffy never gets a break.”


“Now I know I have a chip, which I still hate, because I can’t wipe that stupid look off Leanna’s face,” Buffy said bitterly.


Spike raised an eyebrow but let her continue.


“But something about not having to fight all the time…I never thought I could come to like being defenseless. But I’m not really defenseless,” Buffy looked up, “because I have you.” She ended with a lighthearted tone, but they both knew it was just a cover-up for a serious admission.


At this moment, in her unrestricted speech, she looked like the most beautiful thing that he could ever lay eyes on. He felt himself falling deeper and deeper.


“Spike?” Buffy asked, a worried look at his silence.


“You’ll always have me,” Spike said in a low voice, emotion dripping all over his tone.


‘How I wish that was true,’ Buffy thought as she closed her eyes. She opened her eyes again to find Spike starring at her deeply, and she leaned forward to kiss him passionately, erasing away her negative thought.


“Mm, wait a minute, pet,” he said as he pulled away. “Finish first. You said that was before. And now?” Spike held her hand in his.


She looked him in the eyes and replied, “Now, I feel like just a girl. I feel like Buffy, with no ‘the Vampire Slayer’ following.”


Spike smirked. “Is that a good thing?” He asked, but he already knew the answer.


She smiled genuinely. “Yea, it is.” They shared another kiss, before Spike pulled back one last time.


“One last thing. You’re not just a girl, you’re my girl,” Spike said matter-of-factly.


She smiled at the endearment. “And you’re my widdle vampire,” Buffy said in a babying voice.


Spike growled and grabbed her off the tombstone, her legs wrapping around his waist.


“Take that back,” he demanded.


“What’s the matter, Spikey? Did I hurt your ego?” Buffy put on a coy smile. He opened his mouth to let out a snarky comeback, but she interjected him with a whisper to his ear, “I can fix it for you.”


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Xander was walking through the cemetery, yelling to himself about his rash decision to walk alone. But he had been angry when Anya told him at the Bronze to “shut up or go home.” It’s not like he was complaining that much about Spike and Buffy’s relationship.


And now, with three humans approaching him, he realized what a dumb move that was. The first guy lunged forward, and Xander vamped out and easily stepped aside to trip the guy.


“Ha! That’s all you got?” Xander mocked. He spoke too soon because the other two guys came up from behind and grabbed both of his arms.


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Behind the brush, Spike and Buffy were, yet again, snogging like horny teenagers. They heard someone speaking, and paused to see who was out there.


Out of breath, Buffy asked, “Who is it?” She squinted through the brush and tried to make out the figures, but couldn’t.


Spike looked curiously through the trees, before a smirk took over his face. “Why, it’s the whelp and three humans.” He turned back to Buffy and started kissing her again.


She laughed into his kiss and pushed him back to say, “We should help him…I guess.”


“He has it under control,” Spike said hastily, as they both heard Xander let out a shriek.


Buffy was torn between continuing their hot and heavy kissage, and stopping to help Xander. But as Spike nibbled at her ear, all she could focus on was his cool tongue against her flushed skin. Forgetting about Xander, she crushed her lips to his, urgently seeking more contact. He groaned and pulled her closer by the waist.


“Well, well, well,” a male voice said in the distance. Spike reluctantly pulled away to look through the brush and realized that several more humans had joined in after Xander managed to take care of the first three. Looking frustrated, he saw Buffy had an equal expression as she tried to catch her breathe.


“Fine,” Spike sulked. They untangled themselves from each other, and straightened their clothes before stepping out to go help Xander.


Walking over with Spike, Buffy muttered to him, “I told you they would interrupt us.”


“So let’s kick their asses quickly then.”


Buffy and Spike both quickly lunged for a human, flinging them back from Xander. Xander looked up with bewildered eyes and relief washed over them. “Guys! I’m so glad to see you!” he said weakly as he rubbed his head.


Spike glared at him, showing his disagreement. The human who had spoken earlier was about to open his mouth to say something, but Spike stepped forward and threw a solid punch to his nose, effectively cracking it.


Buffy was taking out her own frustration on another guy. “Stupid…people…interrupting…us,” she managed to get out in between brutal punches. A guy grabbed both of her arms from behind while one of them came charging at her, but she lifted herself off the ground and kicked him in the head. She brought her upper body back down to the ground fiercely, effectively flipping the guy in back of her over her head. She looked for Spike and saw he was handling three guys at once, so she ran over to him.


She saw the man on Spike’s right side had a knife in his hands, and Spike was busy hitting the other two, so Buffy ran forward and tackled the offender to the ground before he could attack Spike. She grabbed the arm with the knife in it and struggled with the man for a few seconds before managing to seize it. She flung it several feet away before throwing a solid punch to the guy’s face – so intense that he blacked out at the contact. ‘Huh. What a wuss,’ Buffy thought as she got up.


As soon as she got up, another lunged forward and tackled her, eliciting a loud ‘oof’ as she hit the ground. The guy straddled her and hit her in the face, making her flinch because the punch actually hurt. She blinked her eyes open to see a very disgusting looking man who was now leering at her. Her face twisted in disgust as she said, “Ugh, you seriously need to invest in a shower!”


Spike looked up to see some guy straddling Buffy, and he growled in anger before quickly finishing off the current guy and running over to them. He grabbed the offending man off of Buffy and gave a quick twist of his neck, snapping it. “Nobody straddles her but me, you bloody git,” he ground out to the dead body.


Buffy looked around from her point on the ground and realized they had finished the last of them. Spike helped her up and she dusted off her clothes. And then they remembered Xander, who was walking toward them now.


He had an embarrassed look as he said, “Uh, thanks guys.”


The couple looked at him with impatient eyes, telling him that he was either not forgiven for being an ass, or that he had interrupted something important. Or both.


Spike grabbed Buffy’s hand and began to walk away. “Where are you going?” Xander asked, confused.


“None of your bloody business,” Spike said evenly.


“Does no one else matter in your life anymore? You know those people – you use to call them your friends?” Xander said sarcastically.


Spike stopped in his tracks and turned to glare at Xander. “Until you wankers come to deal with us as a couple, don’t be expecting me to come around.” And with that, Spike turned back around and walked off with Buffy.


Buffy reveled in how easy Spike made it seem. He just never stopped surprising her. She felt a surge of emotion go through her at how perfect these past couple of days seemed. Somewhere, in the deep recesses of her mind, she hoped it would never end, and she knew what that meant.


She leaned up to his ear and whispered to him, “Let’s go back to my place.” Spike gave her a look and started walking in strides, dragging her along.


{A/N: Ok, WARNING: Real NC-17 here. I think I wrote a heavy sex scene, lol. I say I think because when I’m writing it, I can’t tell if it’s hot or not. Guess you’ll have to review if you approve. Please don’t read it if you don’t like details or are not of age. This isn’t implied sex like the last time.}


They made their way into her crypt in a similar fashion as last time: crashing into walls while kissing urgently. Once downstairs, their anticipation peaked.


“Buffy,” Spike breathed out lustily. He captured her glistening lips and his hands went to grab the edges of her top. He lifted her top over her head in one sweep, and her golden hair cascaded back down against her bare shoulders. Her heart pounded wildly and she ached for his touch. Grabbing him by the belt, her fingers went to work on the buckle as she pressed her lips to his in a searing kiss.


Spike groaned at the feel of her hands tugging his jeans, causing his erection to grow even harder. He reached behind her back and smoothly unhooked her bra, tossing the offending material aside. He gazed down at her breasts with naked desire and he moved down to capture her nipple with his mouth, causing her to buck into him and throw her head back in pleasure.


“Spike,” she gasped. Spike continued to suck on her breasts while he worked the buttons of her pants slowly.


She pushed him back suddenly and quickly stripped off her pants.


“Impatient, are we?” Spike smirked as he removed his own pants.


His shaft sprang up when he removed the confining piece of clothing and she stared at it with open desire, breath starting to hitch already.


She said with a saucy smile of her own, “I’m not the only one, it seems.”


He stepped toward her as he stripped off his shirt, revealing his muscled arms and chiseled chest. Spike stood naked, while Buffy was clad only in her panties.


Spike grabbed Buffy by the waist roughly and pulled her against him, kissing her thoroughly. She hoisted herself up and wrapped her legs around his waist, consequently pressing her sex against his hard erection. She rasped at the contact and looked at him with desire-filled eyes.


Spike carried her over to the bed and threw her down, giving her a sexy look as he slowly climbed up her body. She shuddered at his predatory movements. He brought his fingers to hook the sides of her panties, slowly bringing it down her legs, revealing her sex to him.


He moved up her body to give her a deep kiss, delving his tongue in to battle with hers. At the same time, his fingers reached up in between her legs, causing her to moan into his mouth and arch up into his hand. He pumped two fingers into her wetness and his own arousal was becoming achingly painful. Buffy was closing her eyes in pleasure, but when she opened her eyes, she caught the clenched look on Spike’s face.


“I want you,” Buffy rasped, “now.”


He groaned at her words and quickly complied, positioning himself at her entrance. Spike gave her a questioning look, and Buffy nodded. He thrust into her all the way, and they both gasped as their holds tightened on each other. Her nails dug into his back as she bit back a scream of pleasure. Spike closed his eyes as he tried to regain his composure.


After a moment, he began pumping into her, causing her to moan. She started moving with him, coming up when he ground down. He was quickly losing control at her movements, and he buried his face in her neck, savoring the feel of her around him.


“Harder,” she breathed out.


He smirked at her. Her sexuality was amazing to him. And of course, he complied. Moving more urgently, he pumped into her with abandon, but kissed her passionately at the same time. She moaned out each time he hit the bundle of nerves deep inside her and she whispered his name in lust.


“Buffy,” Spike whispered back, conveying his matching sentiments. After a while, he heard the gasps in her breath and the oncoming shudders of her body. He drove into her and kissed her deeply as she went over the edge, body convulsing in pleasure and crying out. She clenched around him as she came, causing him to lose control and come inside of her. His body jerked into hers spastically.


Slowly, they came down from their climaxes, and he slumped against her, sweaty bodies embracing. He exhaled into her neck. Buffy tried to regain her breath and slow the beating of her heart. “That was soooo worth the wait,” she said, fully satisfied.


“Yea…you’re so amazing,” he said softly, touching her skin and then running his hands across her face affectionately. She saw the look in his eyes and smiled at him lovingly.


“We’re amazing together,” she corrected.


Spike swelled at her words and dove down to kiss her, massaging her lips with his. He pulled back and rested his cheek against hers, closing his eyes.


“Let’s be amazing again,” Buffy said with a glint in her eyes.


Spike lifted his head up and smirked at her. “Whatever you say, luv.”






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A/N: I mentally prepped myself for 3 months in being more comfortable with the idea of writing a real sex scene. I know I could have been even more specific, but what is there is what I’m comfortable with describing. First real sex scene challenge: check! Feedback is essential or else I’ll run away forever.

Chapter 20:

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“They’re getting closer,” Kerala said in a bitter voice.


“Well now that the page has been burned, your identity is safe,” he offered.


“True. They don’t seem to have a clue as to who I am,” her lips lifted into an evil smile at the brightening notion.


Her smile immediately turned into a cold expression as a thought came to her. “But if they use that spell, they will find out what the Slayer’s been keeping from them. You know what that means.”


“That they will know the gem is already in use and that the Slayer isn’t from their realm,” he finished.


“We will make sure they don’t find out how the gem works, or how to reverse the process before we kill her,” Kerala reinforced with deadly determination. She walked over to the gem that was placed in a perfectly carved shape in the stone wall and watched its glow intensify.

“We’ll move in soon,” she said as the gem reflected in her eyes.


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“No, you musn’t,” Giles said sternly.


Willow frowned stubbornly. “Giles, it could be the answer to our problems!”


“Or the end of our lives!” he shot back. “You can’t just go around casting spells when you don’t have an utter clue what it may do.”


Willow slumped in defeat and plunked her head down on the Giles’ dining table. She knew he was right, but the spell, just sitting there, was making her itch for some magic. Not knowing drove her crazy.


Giles sighed. He wanted to know just as much as she did, but he knew the chances of it being catastrophic were a great deal higher than it being beneficial. He paused before looking up at Willow and offered, “Perhaps we should try to find out what it is and if we do so, we can then use the spell.”


Willow picked up her head from the table and had a pout on her face before reluctantly replying, “Fine. I guess you’re right.”



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She was dreaming of Spike. His cool lips against hers – his hands running soothingly through her hair.


“Buffy,” he whispered in between kisses.


She felt light in his arms, and helpless to his touch. Smiling, she looked at him with pure joy in her eyes. He began to unbutton her shirt as she lay under him on the bed. She closed her eyes to revel in his tender movements.


But when she opened her eyes, they were standing outside, in the cemetery. Confused, she looked at Spike in question.


“Spike?” Buffy asked with wide eyes. “What happened?”


Spike smiled at her lovingly. “You’ll be ok, luv. I promise I’ll come back soon.” He pulled her to him for a deep kiss that made her heart beat faster, forgetting her confusion.


When he pulled back, she pouted at the loss. “When?” she asked with sad eyes. “You’ll come back soon?” her voice was hopeful.


“Of course, luv. I’ll never leave you,” Spike finished in his same comforting voice.


She smiled, believing him. “Where are you going?” she asked curiously.


“You’re the one going, pet,” he replied.


“What?” she scrunched her forehead.


He saw her confusion again and ran his hand down her cheek in a comforting manner. “Don’t worry. Just go through the door.” He looked in the direction behind her.


Turning her head while she was still in his arms, she saw a white door in the middle of the cemetery. It shone a bright white color, glowing in the darkness. She felt drawn to it, but didn’t want to leave Spike’s arms.


He leaned forward and whispered into her ear, “Go on, luv. I’ll wait here for you.”


Looking back at him for reassurance, she nodded in understanding and moved away from his embrace. Turning to face the door, she slowly took a step toward it and looked back at Spike. He smiled back at her. She moved forward more, coming to stand right in front of it. Slowly moving her hand to reach for the knob, her fingertips barely touched it before everything flashed.


And Buffy was in a white room. Quickly turning around in all directions, she braced herself for attack.


“Don’t worry, Buffy,” a soothing female voice said.


She turned around, and a kind-looking old woman stood before her, garbed in white. She exuded ‘goodness’ and her aging wrinkles added to her soft features. Her eyes shone with purity and her long white hair flowed to her waist.


“Who are you?” Buffy asked, feeling safe in this woman’s presence.


“Someone who wants to help you,” she answered with a kind smile.


“Are you the Powers That Be?”


“Something like that. But I don’t have much time, Buffy. You have to listen to me carefully,” she said in a concerned tone.


Buffy stepped closer to the woman, ready to listen. “What is it?”


“You need to make things right again. Something big is happening and you aren’t trying,” the woman said.


Buffy frowned. “Tell me what I need to do.”


“Stop the process. You need to figure out how to get home.”


Buffy bit her lips. An overwhelming sense of guilt flooded through her. With ashamed eyes, she looked at the old woman. “How?”


“Realize what’s in your heart,” she said. “You are here for a reason, and only when it’s accomplished can you be restored.”


“But how?” Buffy asked again desperately.


“Realize the truth. And quickly, before she becomes successful in her mission.”


“I don’t understand! Tell me how!” Buffy cried out. Her stomach tightened in desperation and as begged the woman with her eyes.


“Tell them to use the spell,” the woman said calmly. “Here.”


She put her hand out for Buffy to see, and an object appeared in the palm of her hand. Buffy tentatively reached out to take it from her. It was a little metal trinket, shaped into a heart the size of a half dollar. She took it in her hands, and felt the cool smoothness of it.


“What is this for?”


“The spell,” she replied. “Go, before he leaves you.”


Buffy looked up in alarm. ‘Spike.’ She had forgotten he was waiting outside. She was about to thank the woman and run off, but the woman was already gone. Buffy was alone in the white room, but she hastened her movements to reach the white door. Opening it, she stepped outside of the white room, and back into the cemetery.


The door disappeared when it closed behind her, and she scanned the area for Spike. “Spike?” Buffy called.


“Slayer,” Spike replied in a cold voice. He stepped out from the darkness, leather duster swaying behind him.


She took in the change in his demeanor. She was about to walk over to him and fling herself into his arms, but he interjected her.


“What the hell are you doing here? Come to fight to the death?” he said with malice in his voice.


“What? Spike? What are you talking about?” Buffy walked to him and reached out to touch his arm, but he vamped suddenly, causing her to jump back at his hostility.


He started stalking in a circle around her, while she stood there alarmed and panicked at his change. Her hand dropped down to her side in realization, letting the trinket slide from her palm onto the ground. This was the Spike that wanted to kill her, not her Spike.


“Come on, Slayer. Let’s get this over with,” he growled.


He lunged toward her and she closed her eyes tightly, not moving or making an effort to fight. As his fist flung toward her face and connected harshly with her left cheek, she flung her head back in pain and cried out.

~

“Buffy!” Spike yelled, shaking her. She thrashed in his arms violently, not opening her eyes. “Buffy! Wake up!”


“Wake up!!” He shook her shoulders until her eyelids fluttered open in a confused daze.


She was panting heavily, beads of sweat across her chest. She darted her eyes around, realizing she was in the crypt, Spike holding her in his arms, looking at her with concerned eyes.


‘It was a dream!’ she realized, a huge wave of relief flooded through her. Buffy flung her arms around Spike and hugged him fiercely, burying her face in the side of his neck. Her body trembled as she let out short pants.


“Shhh, it’s ok, luv,” Spike whispered as he ran his hands through her hair. “Just a nightmare…”


Her heart beat slowly stopped its rapid pace as she breathed into Spike’s neck, focusing on the soothing feeling of his skin on hers and his hands through her hair.


All of a sudden, Spike felt her tense. He brought his head back to look at her in question. She starred at him wide eyed and slowly took her right arm away from his neck. Spike looked down at her arm, confused, until he saw that her hand was fisted, as if holding something.


Her heart began to beat rapidly as she opened her hand, revealing a little heart trinket in her palm. She dropped it as if she was scorched, and flung her naked body back to the end of the bed.


“What’s that?” Spike asked, picking up the trinket.


“I-,” Buffy started breathing deeply again. “It can’t-,”


“What is it, Buffy?” Spike urged.


Her eyes wide with disbelief, she continued, “I dreamt that someone gave that to me.”


His face showed his confusion until he realized what she meant. “This isn’t yours?”


“No,” Buffy shook her head, feeling like the room was spinning. An eerie feeling settled inside of her – it wasn’t just a dream after all.


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They were all in Giles’ apartment and had just finished listening to Buffy’s edited version of her dream. She knew it was wrong, but she omitted the part about the woman telling her she needed to ‘go home.’


Buffy was sitting on the couch next to Spike, her head turned to the side and face buried into the side of his arm. He had been comforting her ever since she woke up, listening to her shaky explanation of her dream. Spike reassured her continuously that it was just a dream, and that he wasn’t going to all of a sudden ‘turn evil.’ She couldn’t tell him that in actuality, he had been evil already and tried to kill her before.


The rest of the gang stood there confused with Giles holding the trinket and looking it over.


“She said this was for the spell?” he wanted to reconfirm.


“Yea,” she muttered tiredly into Spike’s arm.


Willow was looking over the spell, looking at the ingredients over and over. Nothing said: a little heart trinket. Tara was looking over Willow’s shoulders.


“Wait,” she said, pointing to an ingredient at the bottom of the list. “A Dash of Silver.”


Willow frowned and looked at her girlfriend in question. “Huh? What about it?”


“Giles, c-can I see the heart?” Tara asked.


He handed it over to her and she looked it over carefully. Realization dawned on everyone at the same time. The heart trinket wasn’t metal, it was silver.


“Well, I don’t get it. It says a dash of silver. Couldn’t we just have thrown in like a silver letter opener or something?” Xander questioned.


Willow’s mind was at work. “No…because then...,” understanding dawned on her, “we would have done it wrong!”


“It probably only works if you use this…,” Tara whispered in reflection.


“Extraordinary,” Giles said. A thought came to him. “Could it be a trick though?” he asked cautiously. “You did say that in your dream, Spike turned evil. Maybe she’s some sort of evil mirage disguised to get us to do the spell.”


She flinched and tensed. How could she explain that the Spike part used to be true? She managed to get out, “I just know she was good. I felt it. I don’t know how to prove it, but you’ll have to trust me.”


She sighed as Spike tried to comfort her. And Xander looked like he was about to say something, which was what he looked like the entire time that Spike and Buffy were there, but the girls kept shooting him warning glares, so he shut his mouth each time. Giles kept looking over at them, but knew this was not the time.


Buffy and Spike didn’t even notice since they were only focused on each other. Without looking at them, she quipped in a tired voice, “Besides, even evil wouldn’t disguise themselves in the shape of a heart. How lame would that be?”


Spike chuckled as he continued to stroke the back of her hand with his thumb.


“Giles, we should do the spell. If the woman in her dream is from the Powers That Be, we may actually be running out of time,” Willow tried to convince him.


He took off his glasses and used the bottom of his shirt to rub the lenses. He sighed in defeat. “Let’s assemble the ingredients just in case. In the meantime, we should do a thorough search for anything about a mysterious spell.”


Willow’s mind did a happy flip. She knew she would get to do the spell eventually, and her excitement peaked. Her face lit up, but she quickly tried to put on a serious face and suppress her glee.


--------------------------------------------------------------


After some convincing, Buffy agreed to go to the Bronze and try to forget about the dream. The gang was also going, and Xander even agreed to keep his mouth shut. He knew it wasn’t a good day to be picking fights with Buffy or Spike.


They walked in and found themselves a table, surveying the crowd.


“Wow, it’s packed tonight. Everyone and their mom are here,” Xander commented. His traveling gaze did a double take, and he darted his attention from one side of the room to another.


“What?” Anya asked. “Why are you all bug-eyed?”


“Uhh, well because,” Xander pointed, “There’s Leanna,” and he pointed to the other side, “and there’s Buffy’s little admirer, Mike, headed our way.”


Buffy and Spike groaned as the rest of the gang gave them ‘yikes’ looks. As Mike approached, they all scattered away pretending to look for drinks.


“Hey Buffy,” Mike greeted with a smile.


Buffy gave him an obligatory smile, “Hi Mike.” Spike glared at him and not-so-subtly took Buffy’s hand in his.


Mike looked down at their joined hands and a flash on confusion went across his face before he concluded, “You two?”


Spike smirked at him with a macho look of victory that did not go unnoticed by Buffy. She glared at him and he flashed her innocent eyes.


“Yea,” Buffy replied apologetically. She felt sort of bad for him, and he was a nice guy to boot.


He nodded in understanding. “I knew you were waiting for someone all this time.”


She frowned and opened her mouth to disagree, but Spike interjected, “Yep, me. Now bugger off.”


“Spike!” Buffy exclaimed at his rudeness. He just smirked at her and leaned in for a kiss. She put her hand up to his mouth and turned back to Mike as Spike continued his path. “Sorry, Mike. I’m sure you’ll find someone that’s better for you.”


Mike gave her a small smile and turned to walk away.


Spike leaned in for another kiss as he whispered, “Not bloody likely.” Buffy couldn’t help smiling and kissing the jerk back. ‘He’s cute when he’s possessive.’


But when she glanced up for a moment, she stilled Spike’s movements.


“What?” Spike pouted into her ear.


“It’s your turn,” Buffy muttered. Spike looked up in the same direction and slumped in his chair. “Oh bloody buggering hell. Mine’s worse!”


It was Leanna, sauntering over to them with a truly pissed-off look on her face. Buffy tensed as she did her own share of staring down.


“Hi Spike. Hi tramp,” Leanna said as she turned to both of them. Buffy lunged up out of her seat, but Spike quickly grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to him. “Let me handle this,” he whispered into her ear.


“Leanna,” Spike replied curtly. “What do you want?”


At the ‘sickening’ display of Buffy on her Spike’s lap, Leanna’s eyes flashed with a deeper grey. “How can you be with a dirty human? Of all people, the slayer?”


“It’s none of your business. Sod off. We’re long over, Leanna,” Spike replied evenly as he gave her a bored look.


“I bet you’re just using each other for the sex. You know they call that whoring, right?”


“Can you please kick her ass now!?” Buffy exasperated.


“Yea, because you can’t do it yourself,” Leanna smirked.


“That’s enough. Leave,” Spike said with intensity as he stood up to look at her in the eyes.


She looked indignant and before she turned to storm off, she added, “When her little thrall over you ends and she stabs you in the back, I’ll be the one to say I told you so.”


“Argh!” Buffy yelled. “I want to kill her!”


Spike’s jaw was clenched because he was pretty pissed off too. He played it cool, but he seriously almost punched Leanna in the face for talking about Buffy that way. He pushed his emotions aside and pulled Buffy forward into a hug. Spike ran his fingers through her hair, trying to calm her down. “Don’t let it get to you. You’re better than her by miles,” he said.


“Is that even in question? Of course I am! She’s a freakin’ raving lunatic!” Buffy exclaimed.


Spike chuckled and just took her by the hand. “C’mon, Goldilocks.”


“Where are we going?” Buffy asked, confused at the change of subject.


“I wanna dance with you,” Spike said.


“Oh,” she replied as she blushed, fighting a smile and the fluttering feelings that she used to get when she was 16. She didn’t know how he still managed to do that to her everytime.


-------------------------------------------------------------


The next night, Buffy woke up in Spike’s arms, her back to his chest in a spooning position. They had fallen asleep in his room after a long day. Waking up with his arms around her, she suddenly felt refreshed and in brighter spirits.


“Mmm,” he mumbled into her hair, still half asleep.


A jolt of tingles ran through her as she felt him hardening against her ass.


Getting a mischievous streak, she pushed back, grinding her ass against him.


“Be the death of me,” he muttered, waking up at her teasing.


She did it again and threw her head back, moaning. At that, he was fully awake and he suddenly flipped her on her back and hovered over her. “How come you don’t get my attention like that everytime?” he smirked.


His hair tousled and chest shirtless, Buffy’s eyes darkened with lust. She was wearing a tank top and some panties, looking ready to pounce. She lifted her head off the bed to capture his lips, and pulled his body down fiercely against hers.


Spike eagerly pushed into the kiss, prodding his tongue deeper into her mouth and savoring the feel of her warm heat. He looped his finger under the strap of her panties, tugging at it playfully while his other hand held the back of her head.


“Mmmm. Need help with that?” she joked.


He growled at her and ripped the offending material from her body, provoking a raspy gasp from her.


“Wait,” she managed to breathe out.


“Wait??” Spike questioned incredulously. “What? Why?”


“Joyce and Dawn,” she replied.


“Oh, them. They’re gone, luv. It’s just you and me,” he waggled his brows.


“In that case, please continue,” she quipped.


He chuckled before he lunged in, nipping the spot right below her ears. As he moved his kisses down her neck and to her breast, she felt the wetness begin to pool between her legs. He took in her nipple and she arched up into his mouth, wanting to get even closer to him. Buffy reached her hand down, and took his shaft into her hands, beginning to pump it slowly. He groaned against her breasts, sending vibrations and chills through her body.


She pulled him to her entrance, and he looked up with a smirk, “Impatient as always.”


She gave him a coy smile before flipping them around so that Spike was on his back and she was hovering over him. She positioned herself over him, and slowly sunk down on his shaft. The sensation of his cool shaft penetrating and filling her warm heat made her groan and throw her head back in pleasure. Spike gripped the side of the bed and clenched his jaw, trying to control himself from jerking upwards harshly.


She began to ride him as she placed her hands on his chest, both with their eyes closed in ecstasy.


“Look at me,” Spike rasped.


Buffy opened her eyes and stared down into his, drowning in the emotions running between them. She continued to rock against him, squeezing him as she pushed forward. A thin layer of sweat formed on her chest and she was close to panting for air.


He moved up with her, driving his cock in deeper when she thrust forward.


“Unh,” she breathed, as each thrust sent her closer and closer to her goal.


At the sound of her heart beating rapidly, Spike couldn’t stand it any longer. He flipped them suddenly and pumped into her at a quickened speed, making her gasp louder and louder.


He leaned down to kiss her, keeping up the pace as his tongue battled with hers. Pulling back, he gazed into her eyes and the look he saw there told him everything.


“Spike,” she gasped. She tilted her neck invitingly to the side, and his eyes deepened in renewed lust at her subtle action.


“Buffy,” he whispered back. Slamming into her, he sent her over the edge and she began to milk him tightly. Spike felt like his body was on fire, and as he came, he vamped out and plunged his fangs into her soft neck.


The feel of his teeth slicing into her neck brought on a tinge of pain, but the pleasure that flooded over it was intense, escalating her orgasm until she was gasping heavily for air and convulsing up against him. She felt him begin to draw blood, and a new wave of fluids rushed out in between her legs, covering his cock. She felt the room spin as he prolonged her intense orgasm. With Spike coming into her frantically, she never wanted the moment to end.


The blood hit his mouth and he jerked into her at the sensation. Feeling nothing but love, he wondered why it had taken so long for him to realize it. Buffy’s heart began to skip a beat, so he pulled back with a final roar as he came into her one last time. He collapsed on top of her, head in between her breasts, and knew that was the best thing he had ever felt in his life.


Her heavy breathing and clouded vision began to clear, as the slight pain in her neck became stronger. She looked down at Spike’s head lovingly and made a noise of satisfaction.


Buffy closed her eyes and an image flashed in her head. It was Spike from the end of her dream. Eyes shooting open, everything seemed to snap into perfect clarity. With a frown, she reached to the left side of her neck and touched the wound. Bringing her hand back slowly in front of her face, all she saw was blood.


Spike looked up at her in question and saw the blood. “I’m sorry, luv,” he apologized. He smirked, “Let me get that for you.”


He moved up her body to clean it up, but she jerked back from him. With a confused look, he asked, “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” His eyes shone with concern as he scanned her expression.


She was wide-eyed, starring at him like he was a stranger. Everything felt harsher all of a sudden – the light, the sheets, the stickiness in between them. And like a blind woman given eyes, she realized what she had just done. ‘I let Spike bite me. I slept with him, multiple times!’ she repeated to herself. ‘What have I been doing?’


The course of regret ran through her as she admonished herself for the little fantasy world she had entered willingly. She had been playing boyfriend-girlfriend with Spike. Instead of finding a way home to her family and friends and her life, she was here pretending this was ok. And worst of all, she just let him bite her, and she liked it. A lot.


She managed to choke out, “I have to go.” She began to pull away, wiping at her neck furiously to catch the blood.


Spike’s look was of total confusion and panic. “What? Why? Did I hurt you, baby?” He moved forward to catch her in his arms, but she pulled away with a sob.


“No, you didn’t,” she replied as she looked for her pants. She wouldn’t look at him. She couldn’t look at the hurt in his eyes or she might break and give in. She had to be strong.


“Buffy! What’s wrong?” he asked desperately.


“I can’t do this,” she choked out a sob. “I have to go, now.”


His panic was at a peak as he grabbed Buffy by the arms and forced her to look at him. He saw the tears gleaming in her eyes and he shook her by the shoulders. “Tell me what’s wrong! Is it because I bit you? I didn’t think it would hurt you, I swear.”


She shook her head and looked away.


He used anger as a cover-up for the unbearable hurt he was feeling. He gritted out, “What the bloody hell is it then?”


She inhaled a deep breath to gather the strength to say, “I don’t think this is going to work out. This,” she pointed between them, “isn’t right.” She flashed him a look of sincere apology, “I’m sorry, Spike.”


His hands dropped to his side in shock as he moved his head back to look at her as if he didn’t hear her correctly. She took this opportunity to dive past him, and ran down the stairs, out of his house.


As Spike came out of his daze, his hurt and anger boiled to the surface, and he picked up the lamp on his nightstand and flung it violently against the mirror, yelling in frustration. The mirror shattered at the center and the lamp broke into pieces, as he fell to his knees and gasped for unnecessary breaths.


-------------------------------------------------------------

 

Chapter 21:

Three long, excruciating days.


For three days, Spike tried to go to Buffy and figure out what was wrong. Each night, he went to her crypt at least twice in a desperate need to see her, but to no avail.


---Three days ago---


He tried to open the crypt door, but it seemed to be barricaded. It only fueled his anger and desperation because he could sense she was there.


“Buffy!” he roared as he slammed his shoulder into her door. It moved ever so slightly, but what ever was blocking it was really heavy. “Let me in, damn it! I know you’re in there!”


As he slammed his shoulder painfully into the door over and over, he sensed her moving away. “Buffy, luv, please let me see you,” he pleaded desperately. He sounded like a lovesick puppy, but at that moment, he couldn’t care less.


When Spike had started pounding on the door, Buffy shrank back against the wall. Her eyes were puffy and she had dark circles under them. She didn’t want to see him, because she knew she would cave. Shutting her eyes, she tried to remain strong. But when she heard her stone barricade begin to move, she panicked.


Looking around, she saw the only way was to go downstairs. ‘The tunnels!’ she remembered suddenly. Looking back one last time at the door with a pained expression, she turned and escaped.


With a last heave, Spike pushed his way into the crypt. “Buffy!” he yelled, more hurt than angry now. His eyes scanned the room until it settled on the ladder. Moving with big strides, he moved his way downstairs, ready to drag her out of there. Eyes confused, he realized she was gone.


--------------------------------------


Now, standing in the cemetery in front of her door, he looked genuinely pissed. Buffy had done the same thing for 3 days, and he ached for her. He hadn’t gotten much sleep – all he thought about was why she would suddenly pull away from him. He smirked as an idea came to him.


Buffy knew she was being avoidant, to say the least, but she didn’t know what to tell him when he knew nothing the truth about her and where she came from. She had been secretly visiting Tara and checking up on the spell, but they told her that the ingredients were taking longer than expected. So in the meantime, she made a significant effort to avoid Spike at all costs.


Buffy sensed him outside of her door, and her heart began to race. He didn’t make an effort to knock or yell for the longest time, and she stepped closer curiously. Then, her senses began to fade, as he seemed to move away. Confused, she frowned. What she was doing was wrong – she needed to be looking for a way home instead of losing herself in Spike – but why did it feel so right?


With a pout, she made her way downstairs to her bedroom. And as soon as she put her foot down on the floor, she was seized by the shoulders and slammed against the wall. She gasped in surprise as Spike’s intensely angry eyes glared at her. Buffy looked around frantically, wondering how he got in.


“Surprised to see me, luv? Didn’t think you could pull the tunnel trick on me forever did you?” his words were laced with bitter hurt.


“Let me go,” she said with closed eyes.


“No.”


“Spike,” her voice wavered.


“Why are you doing this, Buffy?” his voice softened into desperation. His hands ran down her arms, savoring the touch he had been missing for three days. He leaned into her hair and brushed his face up against her cheek with his eyes closed.


She could do nothing but remain there pinned between his body and the wall, heart pounding rapidly at his touch. He brushed her hair away from her neck and looked at his bite marks.
Lightly, Spike ran his fingers over the two closed punctures. She whimpered involuntarily.


“Stop,” she whispered in an unconvincing tone.


“Why?” he asked again, pulling his head back to look at her.


She tried to concentrate on anything else but his fingers brushing against her tender marks. She opened her eyes to look straight in his eyes, and she almost forgot her response at his look of hurt and affection. “We shouldn’t be together.”


“Bollocks,” Spike replied, pissed.


She shook her head vehemently. “I’m the Slayer, Spike, chipped or not. This isn’t right – this isn’t normal,” she convinced herself.


“So what? You suddenly sprang a saintly uptight conscience?” Spike asked incredulously. “I thought we were over this!” He let her go and stepped back, throwing his hands in frustration.


She looked down, avoiding his incriminating gaze.


“Did you plan this?” he gritted out, fists clenched.


“What?” her eyes shot up to his at that. “Plan what??”


He took a stride toward her, stopping inches from her face. “To make me fall in love with you so you could watch me sputter around like a nancy-boy.”


The stubborn part of her felt outraged that he would even suggest something like that. “What? How could you think that?” she ground out in a low, but trembling voice. “Of course I didn’t!”


“Was it revenge?” his voice was laced with anger.


“Revenge?” she asked, confused.


“For when I told you I was using you. Was this your plan to get back at me? Because it bloody well worked. You deserve a sodding oscar for that performance, pet.”


Outraged at his implications, Buffy shot him an angry and hurt look, “You know I wasn’t acting that, Spike.”


“I thought I knew you. I really don’t know anymore,” he replied in defeat. Running his hands through his hair, he turned his back on her and exhaled.


She felt like a knife was shoved through her heart, wishing that she could make it ok.


He spoke as he turned his head slightly, but not turning around, “What do you want, Buffy?”


A long pause passed between them. ‘You,’ Buffy thought to herself as she closed her eyes. Instead she said to him, “I just want to be alone.” She hated herself at that moment. Buffy didn’t realize Spike had left until she opened her eyes to an empty room.


------------------------------------------------------------------


“Finally! We now have all the ingredients,” Willow announced happily. She placed the last jar on the table along with the other ingredients and the spell.


“Are we sure about this?” Tara asked hesitantly.


“Tara, there’s nothing to worry about. Trust me,” Willow comforted.


Tara gave her girlfriend a small smile. In the pit of her stomach, she didn’t like the feeling she got about this spell. It felt like something bad was going to happen.


“So should we go find Spike and Buffy?” Xander asked, walking up to the table.


The door opened and Spike came sauntering in looking like shit.


“Speak of the devil,” Xander joked, but his light expression quickly melted when Spike shot him a glare.


“Any l-luck?” Tara asked with a sympathetic look.


“No,” he grumbled out. “Bloody bitch won’t tell me what’s wrong.”


“Well I still don’t understand what happened,” Anya said. They all gave him questioning looks. All Spike had told them was that Buffy just suddenly didn’t want to see him.


Spike flashed them a look before looking down and lying, “Nothing. We were together and the next minute she freaked out.” He knew what they would say when they find out that he bit her, and he wasn’t willing to admit that, not now when Buffy obviously didn’t want it.


They gave him a suspicious look, but he looked up defensively, “What? Sod off!”


Changing the subject, Giles said, “Well, we’re ready to do the spell now. Shouldn’t one of us go get Buffy?”


Spike scoffed and said, “Good luck trying to get her to open the bloody door.”


“She’ll come around,” Tara offered in a comforting voice, referring to their relationship.


Spike’s jaw was tightly clenched as he looked away, not wanting them to see the emotions in his eyes. Even Xander felt kind of bad for the guy. Spike looked like he just had his heart ripped out, and of course, he was being a big grump for the last three days.


“I’ll be outside,” Spike muttered as he turned to leave.


The door closed behind him and Xander said, “Poor guy, he looks like he’s had his favorite toy taken away.”


The rest of them looked at him incredulously.


“What? It’s an analogy! I’m not calling Buffy a toy!” Xander said defensively.


~


Spike walked outside the Magic Box, and stopped in his tracks as he came face to face with Buffy. Seeing the shocked look on her face and her body tense, he bit out, “Well, goldilocks finally emerges from her cottage. I thought you wanted to be alone?”


“Spike…I-,” she began. Buffy exhaled and tried to relax her body before looking up at him. She felt a stab inside at the look that Spike had given her earlier and was giving her now. It was the same one of anger and hurt, and she knew that she not only caused it, but she couldn’t even give him a real explanation.


With a genuinely remorseful look, she said, “I know I don’t make sense to you right now, but I am sorry. I shouldn’t have let all this happen in the first place.”


He scoffed, “Bollocks. And you know it.” Anger began to build up inside him at her words, and he started pacing back and forth in front of her, “You’re telling me, all of that was just a mistake to you??”


She looked down, averting his incredulous expression.


“You’re bloody unbelievable!” he exclaimed. He yelled out in frustration and pulled on his hair. Exhaling, his angry expression melted into one of defeat. Spike took a big stride forward, bringing himself right up against Buffy.


She was about to move back to put space between them, but Spike grabbed her by both the shoulders and held her still. She tensed, and struggled slightly, but his bruising grip still her.


Spike slowly loosened his tight grip on her shoulders. With one hand still holding her down, he ran his right hand up through her hair and brushed it back, causing her to turn away from his touch.


“Look at me,” he demanded. Slowly, she turned back to look at him in the eyes, afraid that he would see past her silly resolve and discover that she wasn’t too far away from being putty in his hands.


But Spike could see it. He saw the conflicting emotions in her eyes, and knew she didn’t really think it was a mistake. It couldn’t possibly be just the whole vampire-slayer factor. But getting her to admit it is a different thing.


He ran the back of his hand along her cheek, and she closed her eyes at his touch. Spike leaned in and pleaded, “Tell me what’s wrong, luv. Whatever it is, we’ll make it work.”


She had to control herself from letting out a choked sound. Then she began to panic as Spike gazed at her lips and started to lean in towards her. Buffy moved back, but Spike pulled her to him and captured her lips in a needy kiss.


At first, she made a muffled protest into his mouth, but his persistent caresses made her melt against him and soon she began to return the kiss without resistance, completely forgetting this is exactly what she was supposed to stop doing.


Her hands came up behind his neck and pulled him closer, allowing him to deepen the kiss and feel her body flush against his. The sexual frustration that they had been containing for the past few days was suddenly let out as their tongues intermingled and their hands roamed over each other’s bodies.


“Mm,” Buffy moaned into him, causing his arousal to harden even more.


Inside, Spike felt a wave of relief that he had finally gotten her back in his arms, and he craved the feel of skin against his. He grabbed her ass and hoisted her up, bringing her legs to wrap around his waist.


Their little romp was suddenly interrupted as the Magic Box door opened to reveal Xander, Anya, and Willow looking out to see what was going on.


Willow blushed and Xander looked disgusted as he shielded his eyes. “Oh holy mother of-“


Anya just beamed and said, “I knew there would be more orgasms in their future!”


Spike and Buffy pulled apart, panting slightly. Still carrying Buffy, Spike gave them the most annoyed look at the intrusion. Buffy looked sheepish as she slid her body down to the ground.


“What?” Spike barked.


“Um, well, we were just going to tell you that the spell is ready,” Willow answered.


“So are you guys back together?” Xander asked.


Spike looked at Buffy with a questioning and hopeful look. Buffy looked between all of their expectant faces before turning back to Spike. She asked, “Can we just talk about this after the spell?”


He looked disappointed at first, but quickly masked his expression and gave her a reassuring smile. “Sure, luv. Let’s go.” At least she wasn’t saying no.


-------


Tara and Giles heard what was going on outside, and Tara was relieved to see Spike and Buffy walk in together. Her expression flickered with curiosity as she caught a glimpse of two marks on Buffy’s neck as her hair moved slightly away from her neck. She kept it to herself, for now.


“So we’re good to go?” Buffy asked as she walked over to the circle they had set up on the floor and looked down at the ingredients.


“Yea, all set,” Tara replied, pretending she didn’t see anything. Willow and Tara sat down on the ground as the others backed up to give them room.


“Is that a cauldron??” Buffy asked, surprised.


“I know, what kind of medieval spell is this?” Willow joked.


“You just need some big green warts and you’re all set,” Xander added.


Tara and Willow began putting the ingredients in one at a time.


“Isn’t it supposed to go ‘poof’ or something?” Buffy questioned.


Willow and Tara shrugged. They put in the last ingredient, the silver trinket, and nothing happened.


“Do we stir?” Willow asked with a frown.


“I don’t know...,” Tara replied, hesitant.


“Oh! I know,” Willow straightened herself up and put her hand over the cauldron. “Certamen, agon!” [Combine!]


The cauldron began to glow, and the rest of them stepped away. Willow and Tara jumped back in their sitting position when the paper with the spell began to rise off the ground. It floated in the air and turned itself so Willow could view it in front of her. Gold glowing lines flew across the page in cursive as everyone starred at it with wide-eyes.


“What does it say?” Giles inquired, truly intrigued at this sight.


“This spell…will reveal the person…who does not belong… in your dimension,” Willow squinted as she tried to decipher. “…If someone is revealed to you, then the use of….the Rajendra Gem has already…begun.” The gold writing continued on and wrote out the spell.


Buffy’s mind seemed to click at the words. Her eyes widened. The person who does not belong in your dimension. She went into panic-mode and began to step back.


Spike looked at her expression quizzically and reached out to touch her, but she pulled back suddenly. Hurt and worry crept into him, but Buffy just drew back more.


“Ahh, it has to do with the gem,” Giles said as understanding dawned on him.


“Should I continue?” Willow asked excitedly.


“No!” Buffy blurted out. They all turned to look at her.


“Why not?” Giles asked.


Her mouth opened to give a response, but she was having trouble. “Well…what, what if it’s dangerous?”


“It’s not dangerous if it’s only going to tell us if the gem is in use,” Willow pointed out.


Buffy had nothing else she could say, and she began to breathe heavily as the room started to whirl around her in panic. Spike sensed her turmoil and walked over to her, putting his arms around her with a worried expression. “What’s wrong, luv?”


She didn’t answer, but her heart continued to beat rapidly as Willow started reciting,


“Nos precor vox of gemma ,
ostendo sum unus quisnam steps ex alius regnum,”
[We invoke the powers of the gem,
reveal the one who steps from another realm.]


The intensity of the light coming from the cauldron grew as Willow continued,


“Nos dico super thee ,
ostendo nos solus unus quisnam can reperio refero!”
[We call upon thee,
show us the only one who can find the answer!]


As a flash went off through the room, Buffy pushed back violently against Spike, falling to the ground. The others stood up, eyes wide in shock as Buffy looked up at them from the ground, dressed in completely different clothes. She looked disheveled and dirty. Her hair was in disarray and her skin was tainted with dirt. Most of all, there seemed to be a force field around her, flickers going off at the edges.


“Bu-,” Spike began hesitantly.


She shot him a glare and spat out, “What the hell did you guys do to me?!”


His eyes flickered with confusion as he looked her over. This wasn’t his Buffy. Her demeanor was different, less calm, less…good.


He eyed her suspiciously. “Who are you and what did you do with Buffy?” he demanded as the entire room vamped out in understanding.


“I AM Buffy, you idiot!” she yelled furiously. “Where did you send me?? Was this some sort of sick way of getting rid of me just because I said I love you??” She was the Buffy from the day Spike had rejected her proclamation of love – the day right before she showed up on his porch all crazy.



Spike’s head reeled with confusion. His mind slowly traced back to that day, when Buffy had shown up on his porch and claimed amnesia. They had all let it fly by with no questions asked, and his mouth opened in realization as he remembered the words of the spell: This spell will reveal the person who does not belong in your dimension.


‘Buffy’ moved forward, but as she hit the force-field, another big flash went off, blinding everyone. The paper with the spell fell to the ground, and the cauldron stopped glowing.


Opening their eyes and readjusting, they saw that the magic had ended and Buffy was in a heap on the ground. In her regular clothes and sans-dirt.


Looking up in a confused dazed, Buffy’s watery eyes searched for understanding of what just happened. Tremors ran through her body. For a minute, she had slipped out of reality and into a dream where she was in a cave. Now, she was back in the Magic Box gazing at their vamped out faces.


“What just happened?” she choked out. She felt lightheaded and the tears were filling her eyes, blinding her vision. She blinked them away to focus on the image of Spike in front of her.


“Who the bloody hell are you?” Spike demanded as everyone remained on guard. His fist was clenched and his body ready to attack if she turned out to be some evil force.


“Spike?” Buffy asked with confused eyes. She looked at his demeanor, as well as everyone else’s, and they were ready to rush her.


“You’re not from this world,” Giles pieced it together. “That’s why you couldn’t remember things about us before…”


Spike growled in warning and they all stepped forward.


Buffy shook her head vehemently, “I can explain!” Her head pounded as she tried to calm herself down.


“That’s why you seemed different…and you thought you had a soul…,” Tara said in her own revelation.


“Everything makes so much sense now,” Xander said with a furrowed brow. “You not knowing about vampires being good, about Angel, about everything!”


“Why are you here?” Giles asked sternly.


Tears began to roll down Buffy’s cheek. “I don’t know!” she choked out. “I just woke up one day and I was here.”


She wiped furiously at the tears in her eyes. She felt like all of her aggravation about being stuck here was finally coming out. Buffy had let herself live a fantasy world in order to compensate for the utter sense of hopelessness. Now, not only did desperation fill her with a need to go home, but she also felt remorse for lying to them all. Lying to Spike.


“So what the hell were you doing this whole time?” Spike yelled. “Messing with my head??”


She looked guilty and started to say, “I didn’t mean to-,”


“Get out.”


She looked up at him in alarm. His eyes were filled with fury and his entire body was tense. Buffy saw the betrayed look, and she closed her eyes as she felt a pang of guilt.


“GET OUT!” Spike roared as he picked up a chair and threw it across the room, smashing it against the wall.


Buffy flinched and got up quickly, shooting him one last look of regret before she turned her back and left. As the tears were sliding down her face, she realized why it hurt so much. She was in love with Spike.


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Chapter 22:

Buffy stood on the porch nervously wringing her fingers. She has wearing a loose sweater and some jeans, with her hair pulled back into a messy ponytail. Her eyes showed that she hadn’t been sleeping well the past few days. Mostly, it was because Spike refused to be anywhere near her, even when she had gone back the day after the spell to try and explain everything properly.


She just stood there trying to collect herself, working up the nerve to confront something she just wanted to avoid. But as much as she wanted to be avoid-y Buffy, she knew she owed Spike an explanation.


Then, Buffy could hear their voices inside.


“Tell her to bugger off!” Spike yelled to Dawn.


“Why don’t you tell her yourself, you jerk?” Dawn retorted defiantly. She crossed her arms across her chest and gave him a knowing look. “She’s obviously here to apologize so why don’t you just stop being childish??”


“Childish!? I have a perfectly good reason to not want to see her!” Spike exclaimed incredulously. “I don’t even know who she really is! She’s not even real!”


Dawn kicked Spike in the leg.


“Ow. What the bloody hell is that for?”


“You deserve it, you big goon. She’s real enough to care about us, to care about you,” Dawn pointed out.


“She could be evil!” Spike defended.


“Yes, the evil Buffy comes from a world where she is actually good and then because she’s so evil, she likes to eat ice cream with me and mom, and walk me home at night, and save your friends’ lives, and make-googly eyes at you all the time, and-,”


“Ok! Bloody hell! If I open the sodding door will you leave me alone??”


“Mission accomplished,” Dawn smiled as she bounced away.


Spike muttered under his breath at his annoying lil’ sis and went over to the door reluctantly. Without opening the door, he yelled, “What do you want?”


Buffy hesitated at first because she had heard everything they were saying. Spike still sounded really pissed, but she just couldn’t wuss out now. “Spike, I need to talk to you.”


“So talk,” Spike replied through the door, leaning against it.


“Can…Can you open the door?” Buffy asked.


Spike clenched his jaw as he braced himself. Closing his eyes, he reached to open the door. And when he opened his eyes, he knew it was a mistake. His resistance wavered at the mere sight of her, dark circles under her eyes, and a sad expression that made him want to reach out and touch her. But he had to remind himself that it had all been a trick – none of it was real. ‘Don’t cave, you git,’ he thought to himself.


Buffy felt like someone had just punched her in the gut. Seeing his disheveled appearance and knowing that she caused it sent another wave of guilt through her. Most of all, the cold stare he was giving her made her bit her lip in remorse.


“Are you here to ‘explain’?” he asked sardonically. “Because the others filled me in. Whole reverse world mumbo jumbo. Got it. Is that it?”


“No,” she shook her head. “I came because I owe you an apology. A real apology.”


He raised his brow in interest and crossed his arms to signal for her to continue.


“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth in the beginning,” she looked down in shame. She didn’t continue right away, struggling with the right words as she felt foolish for standing here in front of him.


He scoffed. “Do you think that will make it better for you to say you’re sorry?”


“Will you just let me finish?” she exasperated. With a frustrated look, she continued, “I mean, I tried to tell the others before and they just laughed in my face! I knew you wouldn’t believe me anyway. You guys thought I was crazy!”


“You ARE crazy!” Spike exclaimed. “You come in from some alternate dimension and then you start playing along??” He gave her an incredulous and questioning look. Shaking his head in disbelief, he calmed himself down. “Why?”


Buffy looked up with a frown. She knew he was talking about them. “Because…,” her voice trailed. “Because it felt real.”


“Yea, sure fooled me too,” Spike bit back. “But it’s not, is it?”


“I wanted it to be,” she said with downcast eyes.


“Tell it to someone who cares.”


Stung by his words, anger and hurt swirled in her mind. She fought back the stinging feeling in her eyes.


“You cared. You said you were in love with me,” Buffy accused.


“It was a mistake,” he replied evenly. He had to struggle to force his face to remain expressionless, but his insides were tearing apart at the sight of her. However, his demeanor remained cold and un-feeling as he shut the door in her face.


Stunned and hurt by the door in her face, she pressed her eyes together. She stood there for a few long moments. Before turning away to leave the porch, she said quietly, “I…I love you.” They were words she thought she would never say again, especially to Spike, but she knew they meant good-bye.


His undead heart ached at her barely-audible words. Slumping his back against the door, Spike slid down to the ground and closed his eyes. He ran his hands through his hair in frustration and hung his head as he tried to fight the urge to go after her.


-----------------------------------------------------------------


“Spike! I’m glad you’re here! Look what I made,” Willow beamed as she thrust a tray in front of Spike’s face.


“Cupcakes?” he questioned as he gave her a look.


“Yea! I thought some of your favorite baked goods might make you feel better?” she asked meekly. Seeing his disinterested look, her shoulders slumped. “Ok, it was a stupid idea. But you gotta admit, they sure are pretty! Are you sure you don’t want one??”


“No, thanks, Red,” he replied as he plopped down in a chair.


“I’ll take one!” Xander said cheerily. He grabbed one from the tray and started to devour it.


“Well, I’ll just put one riiight here in case you want it,” Willow said as she placed a cupcake right in front of him on the table.


“So, I’m guessing you didn’t talk to Buffy?” Tara asked with a sympathetic look.


“We talked,” Spike replied.


Xander gave him a questioning look. “Anddd?”


“And nothing. I listened, she left.”


“She didn’t apologize?” Anya questioned.


“She did. And why should I bloody care?”


“Well, good point. Now that we know she belongs in a whole different dimension, we have to find a way to send her back,” Xander added as he bit his cupcake.


“It’s not that simple,” Giles joined in. “We don’t even know how yet. All we know is something about Buffy needing to find the truth and to eliminate the cause of the gem’s use.”


“Yea, sure, that, and the problem that Spike’s head over heels in love with her,” Anya stated.


“I’m not in love with her,” he ground out in a low voice.


Everyone looked at him with disbelieving expressions.


“I’m NOT!” he yelled at their staring faces.


“T-then why did you c-claim her?” Tara dared to ask.


“Whaaaaat?” Xander asked as he dropped his chocolate-y snack. The room was filled with shocked looks.


“You claimed her?” Giles asked with interest.


“I didn’t claim her!” Spike defended.


“I saw the bite marks, Spike,” Tara dared to say again. He shot her a glare and she gave him a look of apology for tattling.


“Why didn’t you tell me?” Willow pouted to her girlfriend.


“Whoa ho ho! You claimed her?!” Anya asked, amazed.


He shook his head in frustration and said, “It wasn’t a claim. It was something that happened in the moment, alright?!”


“I’m sorry. Let’s backtrack. You bit Buffy while you two were having sex,” Xander made a face, “and now you think it’s not a claim? That’s sort of the definition of a claim.”


“Whatever. Think what you want. She’s not even really the Buffy we know. It was all a bunch of wonky magic,” he finished.


“No, she’s not the Buffy we knew. She’s a force of good in her realm,” Giles commented.


“Also known as, the one you fell in love with,” Anya finished.


“I’m not in love with her.”


“If you weren’t, then you wouldn’t have claimed her. And it’s a claim, alright,” Xander said as he nodded.


“No, it’s not, you whelp,” Spike said in a pissed tone.


“We don’t bite people unless we’re desperately hungry for a snack,” he pointed out. He added, “and you bit her during sex.” Xander saw Spike’s stubborn look and wanted to push the subject. Looking down at the table, he saw the cupcake and grabbed it.


“Hey! That’s mine, you git!” Spike exclaimed.


Xander ignored him and continued, “If I lick this cupcake, would you still want it?”


“What!?” Spike asked at the ridiculous question.


“If I lick it like this,” he ran his tongue across the top frosting, “aren’t I saying it belongs to me and you can’t have it?”


“What kind of sick analogy is that?” Spike demanded to know.


“In a weird disturbing way, that kind of makes sense,” Giles said in a surprised tone.


“Are you off your rocker!?” Spike exasperated.


“Dude, you claimed her. End of story. And as much as I was against this whole thing between you two, I gotta say, she’s yours now.”


“She’s not mine,” he gritted out.


“Uh-huh, yea, ok. So, if she went out right now and hooked up with someone else, it wouldn’t bother you?” Xander questioned.


“She can do what ever the hell she wants,” Spike replied.


“So let’s say…Mike, for example, tried to claim her today? You wouldn’t care at all?” Xander continued with an unbelieving look.


Spike growled involuntarily. But he suppressed his initial reaction and answered tightly, “No.”


The rest of them gave each other pointed looks. Xander looked back to Spike and shrugged. “Fine, man. If you say so.”


As plain as day, Spike’s emotions were playing across his face because he knew Xander was right, for once.


----------------------------------------------------------------


Kerala’s expression was one of pure anger. “Those stupid do-gooders told them to use the spell!! Argh!!”


“They know the truth now, which can only mean they will get closer to finding us out. We must move now,” he pressed.


She nodded, “Let’s finish this.”


--------------------------------------------------------------


Buffy was walking back to her crypt, thinking about how she was going to deal with this – if she would ever get back, and if she did, how she could ever forget what had happened here. Nothing was ever going to be the same, and it scared her. ‘This would be so much easier if this were just a dream,’ she thought sadly. But she knew it wasn’t and a part of her knew it was too real, it felt too real. Sighing, Buffy continued walking and clutched her arms around herself as the chilly wind blew through the cemetery.


She paused in her steps, thinking she felt her vamp sense tingling for a second. Focusing in, Buffy frowned when she lost the feeling. She turned around and scanned the area, looking for any signs of movement. Suspiciously, she turned back and resumed walking.



Buffy was sure she was being followed. Normally back home, she would just stop, lure the guy out, and kick his ass. Here all she could do was keep walking and hope to get back to her crypt. That disturbing feeling of helplessness crept back into her and the panic began to build up. This time, Spike wouldn’t be there to protect her. He was probably on the other side of town, still seething at her.


Buffy quickened her steps, as her heart started to pound faster. She turned to look behind her, but no one was there. When she turned back around, she came face to face with four vamps.


“Slayer,” one of them greeted as they all moved in closer with menacing steps.


“What do you want?” Buffy asked with hesitation in her voice.


“You,” another one leered. He lunged forward to grab her by the waist. Buffy’s fist reflexively shot up to hit him in the face, sending a blinding pain through her head as she cried out and bent over. As she clutched her head, she felt a swift foot kick into her stomach. Buffy groaned while the vampires came to circle around her. One of them lunged forward and she braced herself and spun around, kicking him down. She cried out, gasping for air as the jolts of electricity seared her head. The vamps growled as they approached her, knocking her down with kicks and punches until she was curled up on the ground.


“Enough,” a voice said from behind them. Buffy clutched at her stomach and squinted to try and see the ascending figure. The dark figure was robed and hooded. Before Buffy could speak a word or move, it grabbed her by the collar and smashed its fist into her face intensely, knocking her unconscious.


~


Dawn’s head was reeling with panicked thoughts, as she watched the gang of vampires approach Buffy. She had followed her, hoping to talk to her back at the crypt, but when the four vamps came out, she quickly ran to hide behind a bush in the distance.


‘Oh my god oh my god,’ she cried to herself. Dawn felt torn between leaping out in a reckless attempt to help her, and running to get the others. When she saw the fifth person come out of the darkness and knock Buffy unconscious, her eyes widened and she turned to run for help.


~


“I don’t know, guys,” Willow’s expression was crestfallen. “I can’t seem to find anything else about this whole gem/Buffy/magicky reversal thing…”


Everyone sighed, exhausted after all their failed attempts at figuring out the whole gem thing.


“Well, why don’t we-,” Tara began, but was interrupted by the door suddenly flinging open,

An out-of-breath Dawn came running in, frantically flailing her arms up in the arm and gesturing towards the outside.


“What?” Spike looked concerned as he stood up to walk over to his sister. The others furrowed their brows in worry and moved closer.


Dawn continued to make a series of unrecognizable sounds as she panted. “Trouble…cemetery…,” she uttered in between breaths.


“Dawn, what is it?” Spike said more urgently as he gave her a slight shake of the shoulders.


“Hold on,” she said, regaining her breath.


“Um, Dawn. You don’t breathe,” Xander commented.


Dawn shot Xander a glare before Spike grabbed her again and demanded, “Dawn! What the bloody hell is wrong? Is it mum? Are you hurt?”


“No, no, it’s not that! Buffy’s in trouble!” Dawn exclaimed in a rush.


Spike’s expression flickered with worry, but he quickly put on an even face. “Bloody hell, is that it? What did she do now-,”


“Stop being a jackass! She’s really in trouble! I was following her in the cemetery and then four vamps popped out and then I had to hide and, and they attacked her and some creepy person in a robe knocked her out and they took her! We have to go save her!” She finished her rant with despaired and urgent look.


Despite his earlier façade, Spike felt intense panic and worry build up inside him as Dawn was relaying her story. They could have done anything to her by now. Fury ran through his veins as the thought of one of them touching her came to his mind.


He knew right then that Buffy really was his. The worry was etched on his face, and his stomach was clenched tightly. “Where. Did. They. Take. Her.”


Dawn shook her head violently. “I don’t know. I ran straight here to come get you guys.”


“We’ll do a locating spell,” Tara said as both witches already started gathering the materials.


Without another word, Spike started to march for the door with a determined stride. “Spike!” Xander yelled.


Xander ran to hold Spike back by the arm and Spike growled, shooting him a warning look.


“You don’t even know where she is. If you want to help her, wait for Tara and Willow to finish the spell.”


“Spike, Xander’s right,” Giles blinked at the words he was saying. He seemed to be agreeing a lot with Xander lately, and it was kind of unsettling. He continued, “It would be useless for you to go out and rampage all of Sunnydale looking for her.”


Knowing they were right, he slammed his fist violently into the wall and yelled in frustration. The others jumped up a little from the outburst, but they all had a sympathetic look on their faces. It was obvious just how much Spike cared, even though only a little while ago, he was denying it all.


Spike refused to imagine that she was dead. He paced up and down the Magic Box, impatiently waiting for the witches to be done. For the umpteenth time, he barked, “Are you bloody done yet?” Seeing their faces, his expression softened and he said, “I’m sorry. I’m just…” He clenched his jaw as the emotions showed on his face.


“We know, Spike. It’s ok,” Tara replied sympathetically.


“Done!” Willow exclaimed in victory as the crystal stopped and pointed to a spot on the map.


“Where is she?” Spike asked urgently, rushing forward to look.


Everyone gathered around as Willow’s face showed her confusion.


“What, what?? The suspense is killing me!” Anya cried.


“The crystal is pointing to the caves at the end of the woods,” Willow replied hesitantly.


“Well, what the hell are we waiting for?” Spike asked. Willow pointed and everyone leaned in to look. There was a second glowing spot on the map. It was glowing over where the Magic Box would be, where they were right now.


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