Title: Caught Between Two Lovers
Author:  Pattyanne
            snapkik@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: None of the BtVS
characters belong to me.
Feedback:  Love some, thanks!
Rating: Up to NC-17
Summary: A retelling of Spike and
Buffy's first meeting. Starts in early
season 2. For the purpose of the
story, Angel does not exist and Spike
is a little....different.



Part Forty-four...



As Long As You Love Me



~~~~~~~~~~
"Although loneliness has always
been a friend of mine,
I'm leaving my life in your hands

People say I'm crazy and that I am blind
Risking it all in a glance..."
~~~~~~~~~~



William watched as Joyce carried the teacups
back to the kitchen, then leaned over and
spoke quietly in Buffy's ear. "Don't give up now,
luv. We're almost through the first phase."

Buffy had sagged back into the sofa cushions as
her mother left the room.  She would have liked
a little time to savor her initial success, but knew
she wasn't likely to get it.  Unfortunately, the nerve
and bravado she carried so effortlessly about on
her nocturnal jaunts was fast deserting her.

"Do we have to do it all in one night?" she whis-
pered, keeping her fingers crossed and trying to
look as appealingly earnest as she could manage.
"Why don't we save something for tomorrow night,
or...or maybe next weekend?"

But he just shook his head. "Baby, listen to me...your
mother deserves to know it all. It'll be a lot easier on
you if you just get it over with now."

"I don't think so," she fretted. "Besides...I haven't
even thought of the right way to tell her. I mean....this
isn't the sort of thing you just casually mention."

He caught her chin in his hand and made her
look at him. "You can do this, slayer," he said
firmly. "You  can do anything you put your mind
and heart to. Remember who you are....remember
WHAT you are."

"I'm trying."  She brought her hand up and placed it
over his. "But I'm afraid. She's...."

"No, you're not." He shook his head and spoke over
her. "You don't have a cowardly bone in your body!"

**Oh, if only THAT were true then life would be a lot
easier..**   You just keep telling me that," she said,
steeling her spine as well as she could.

"I will."

That tiny infusion of confidence instilled by his
brief words was exactly what she needed. It
gave her the courage to turn and face her mother
as Joyce walked back into the room.

"Mom...there's more," she blurted, jumping to her feet
and trying for a brisk, matter-of-fact attitude by placing
her hands on her hips and assuming a determined
stance.

"More what?" Joyce asked, glancing from Buffy to
William, then back to Buffy.

"More....more to tell you." Buffy swallowed hard. "And
you'd better sit down....'cause it's big. Majorly big. Oh,
boy....is it big."

Joyce lowered herself into her armchair, visibly trying
to prepare herself for what sounded like it was going to
be a nasty surprise. "All right....fire away."

Buffy's hands were freezing cold, but she could still
feel sweat beginning to trickle down her back, making
her itch. "Okay, well...it's like this....You see, I....do you
maybe want a drink or something?"

Her mother stared at her, eyes widening with alarm. "Is
is THAT bad?" Joyce asked softly, hoping like hell she
was going to be able to take whatever it was her child
was finding so hard to say.

A thousand horrible imaginings raced through her mind
at once, ranging from previously undetected illness to
expulsion from school  to the possibility of law enforce-
ment showing up at the door.

Lacing her fingers together, she shook her head,
declining Buffy's offer to bring her something alcoholic
to cushion whatever blow was coming her way.

"Just tell me what you need to tell me, honey," she
said, attempting to look enencouragingly maternal,
with fortitude enough to take anything. "I don't
need a drink."



~~~~~~~~~~
"And how you got me blind is still a mystery
I can't get you out of my head
I don't care what's written in your history
As long as you're here with me..."
~~~~~~~~~~



"A little more?" William asked, holding the
scotch bottle over Joyce's quickly emptied glass.

The ice tinkled against the crystal clutched in her
shaking fingers. "Maybe....just a drop."

He poured another finger of scotch into the glass,
then sat down with the bottle still in his hand, ready
to refill should she require it.

Buffy was back on the sofa, her small fingers
digging into the throw pillow her grandmother had
hand embroidered and her teeth sunk painfully
into her lower lip....waiting.

Joyce tossed back the scotch, then placed her glass
carefully on the coffee table. Folding her hands to-
gether, she finally turned to face her daughter.

"All right," she said calmly. "Let's take it from the
top. You're a...?"

Buffy's voice was a bit wobbly, but audible. "A
vampire slayer."

"You mean vampires really...exist?  With teeth
and blood and...so on?"

"Uh-huh."

"And you....."

Buffy waited a moment, then filled in the blank
again. "Slay them."

"With a.....?"

"Stake. Usually."

"Usually?"

"Yeah....sometimes I....I cut off their.." She drew her
forefinger across the front of her neck. "That works,
too."

Joyce was silent for a moment, then asked, "And how
did you get this job?"

"Well, I didn't apply for it," Buffy mumbled. "It just
sort of....found me.  It's not exactly a job," she added.
"It's more of a...kind of a...."

"Calling," William supplied.

"Yeah. That."  Her gaze met his for a moment,
then rested once again on her mother. "I was
sort of...chosen for it."

"Chosen...by whom?" Joyce asked, wondering
briefly if she was in the middle of some preposterous
dream and whether there was a possibility of waking
up from it anytime soon.

That hope died hard after digging her nails rather
painfully into the palms of her hands and coming
to the conclusion that she was definitely awake.

Unfortunately, this was all too real.

Buffy opened her mouth to reply, then looked a
bit perplexed. "I'm not...totally sure. I should
probably ask Giles. He would know."

Joyce frowned, recognizing the name. "Mr. Giles
from your school? The school librarian? THAT Mr.
Giles?"

"Um, yeah....that's him."

"What does HE have to do with all this?"

"He's my Watcher?"

"Your watcher?  You mean he watches you when
you...when you go and.....?"

"Slay vampires," Buffy said. "But that's not ALL
he does," she went on quickly, feeling a sudden
need to beef up Giles' participation in the fun and
games that made up her life.

"I see. Well, what else does he do?" Joyce asked,
massaging her temples to keep her head from
exploding.

"Oh....lots of stuff. Research and.....um...."

Her mother gave her a speculative look, waiting.

"Well, research is important," Buffy stressed. "It's
a very key element in the whole slayer...thing.
Really very....VERY key."

William, who'd been silent to this point,
added, "He trains her, teaches her how to fight,
how to use her weapons. You might call it hand-
to-hand combat."

"Yes! Yes, he does all that, too."  Buffy eagerly
jumped on to his explanation, smiling a little too
brightly. "Thank you."

Joyce wasn't quite ready to move on yet. "But if
he can train you...teach you all these...well, Buffy,
he's a grown man. You're just a sixteen year old
girl. If he can do it, why isn't HE the...you know?"

"Because they didn't choose him," Buffy said. "They
chose ME. Slayers are girls, they always have been."

"How many of you are there?" Joyce asked.

"You mean at the moment?" Buffy looked
down, picking at a loose embroidery thread. "Just
one," she said softly, silently praying that her mother
wouldn't force  her to reveal the reason there was
always a new slayer waiting for the present one to
exit stage left.

The threads were unraveling in Buffy's fingers as
she shot  William a pleading glance.

He smiled so slightly that the expression wouldn't
have even registered with anyone but her.

Small as the gesture was, it helped her to remember
exactly why she was finally fessing up to her mother
about her nightly activity.



~~~~~~~~~~
"I don't care who you are
Where you're from, what you did
As long as you love me..."
~~~~~~~~~~




Joyce turned to William. "Did you know about
this?"

"I did, yes," he admitted.

"And you approve?"

"It's not my place to approve or disapprove.
This is what she is," he said simply.

As he sat there, he was beginning to wonder if
it might not be better to hold back HIS particular
surprise for another day, to give her time to adjust
and get to know him.

If he could show her by words and deeds that he
wasn't precisely the same vampire he'd been
before meeting her daughter, it could quite
possibly win her to their side when it was time
to break the news to Buffy's watcher and her
friends.

He cared less than nothing for their opinions,
but he knew  that Buffy was going to need all
the help she could get, and support from her
mother would no doubt go a long way.

"Joyce....Buffy isn't like other girls her age," he
said. "She has....abilities. It's part of what makes
her a slayer, and it's what makes her so good at
it."

"But isn't it dangerous?"

"For the vampires?" He permitted himself a small
grin. "Very."


~~~~~~~~~~
"Every little thing
That you have said and done
Feels like it's deep within me
Doesn't really matter if you're on the run
It seems like we're meant to be..."
~~~~~~~~~~



Joyce felt like she was foundering in a sea of con-
fusion and disbelief.

Vampires!  Vampires actually existed somewhere
other than in books and on movie screens.  It was
a difficult concept to wrap ones head around, and
all she had to fall back on was the scanty knowledge
she'd picked up from those books and movies.

And who knew if that could really be depended on?

Vampires bit people's necks and drained them of
their blood, she knew that much.  They seemed to
be uncommonly strong and in possession of the
ability to mesmerize their victims into compliance.
Sometimes, instead of just killing their prey, they
instead made them into vampires as well, although
she seemed to remember that it took more than a
mere bite to accomplish it.

There was more, she knew. Something to do with
crosses and holy water, and hadn't she heard some-
thing about garlic, too?  Coffins. Mirrors. Transmog-
rification into wolves and bats and chill mists.

So bizarre. So unimaginable. So inconceivable,
that such things truly existed.

But as strangely impossible as all that surely was,
it was outweighed by the stomach churning notion
that Buffy....her five foot nothing, 98 pounds soaking
wet daughter...was some sort of supernatural
exterminator.

If it WAS all true,  the world was in a pretty
sorry place. But if it WASN'T true, then Buffy's
choo-choo had definitely jumped the track.

At the moment, she couldn't decide which of
those two choices was preferable.

"What are these abilities you have?" she
asked.

The fully opened rose stitched into the pillow
was becoming a bud beneath Buffy's destructive
touch. "Well," she said, "For one thing...I'm really
strong."

"How strong?"

"Oh...I'm pretty strong," Buffy replied, going to
work on the rose's stem. "I could lift this couch
over my head if I wanted to....."

Joyce's jaw sagged.

"....and toss it....oh, maybe twenty feet or
so."  Buffy peeked up through her bangs. "I can
run really fast, too, and I can jump a ten foot
retaining wall from a dead stop. Oh, and I can
hit a bullseye with a knife from about a hundred
feet away."

"You throw knives?"

"Um...yeah.  Sometimes."

"Are they made of wood?"

The unexpected question threw Buffy for a
moment. "No."

"Then how do you slay vampires with them? I
thought they had to be.." Joyce swallowed
hard. "...staked through the heart with wood."

"Well, that's true," Buffy said. "But I slay other
things, too. Other kinds of demons."

Joyce closed her eyes for a moment, shaking
her head. "How many 'other kinds' of demons
ARE there?"

"Oh, gee....too many to count."

Upon hearing that, Joyce picked up her glass and
held it out to William. "I'll say 'when'. "


~~~~~~~~~~
"I don't care who you are
Where you're from, what you did
As long as you love me
Who you are, where you're from
Don't care what you did
As long as you love me..."
~~~~~~~~~~


"So, aside from the things you've already
mentioned, do you have any other special
abilities?"  Joyce asked.

Buffy thought for a moment. "I know seven
different martial arts." She counted on her
fingers. "I can use a sword, a crossbow, a
quarter staff, axes, staves, daggers, spears,
and a bullwhip."

William turned to look at her. "A bullwhip?"
he asked softly.  "Really?"

She nodded earnestly. "Mm-hmm."


"I don't suppose I can just forbid you to be
'the slayer', can I?"

"Well, you COULD," Buffy said, "but I'd still
have to do it."

Joyce pondered the reply. "I can lock you
in your room and nail the window shut."

Knowing exactly what Buffy was about to say,
a small smile tugged at the corner of William's
mouth.

"Yes, but I can break the lock and pull the nails
out," Buffy said seriously, completely missing the
resigned and slightly amused tone in her
mother's voice.

Weaving only a little, more from a lingering
shock to her nerves than the alcohol she'd
consumed, Joyce rose to her feet.  "Maybe
sometime...you can show me. This is obviously
a big part of your life, and I should see just
exactly what you do."

Buffy stood up, wiping her clammy palms on
the seat of her jeans. "Oh, good idea," she said
cheerily, while inside she was screaming 'no'
so loudly that the blood was pounding in her
ears.


~~~~~~~~~~
"I've tried to hide it so that no one knows
But I guess it shows
When you look into my eyes
What you did and where you're coming from
I don't care, as long as you love me, baby..."
~~~~~~~~~~


Behind Joyce's turned back, William also stood
up and met Buffy's gaze. He smiled at her, lifting
the scotch bottle in his hand to acknowledge
her courage, telling her with his eyes that he was
proud of her.

The battles still to come could be fought another
day.  His beautiful and brave little slayer was all
worn out.

Maybe it was time for her to have a little fun.


~~~~~~~~~~
"I don't care who you are
Where you're from, what you did
As long as you love me...."
~~~~~~~~~~




TBC.....








 
Part Forty-five:
 
(sorry it's been so long)
 
 
 
Eternal Flame
 
 
 
~~~~~~~~~~
"Close your eyes
Give me your hand, darling
Do you feel my heart beating?
Do you understand?
~~~~~~~~~~
 
 
 
"....so she didn't think anyone could hear her...but
I was standing...by the bookcase in....the very back...of
the....library...."
 
 
"And what did you hear, kitten?"
 
 
Leaning back against a tombstone, Spike couldn't help smiling
as he watched the slayer work while keeping up a running
commentary on the mundane aspects of her day at school.
 
 
There was something completely charming about seeing her
holding her own so effortlessly against two vampires, and carrying
on the kind of conversation that would more naturally be babbled
in his ear while sitting in a movie theater and waiting for the show
to begin.
 
 
"....saying that it looked like she'd had her hair cut by a gardener
with a rusty pair of hedge trimmers!  I mean, what kind of....."
 
 
"Mind your left, Slayer!"   He frowned and began to straighten
up then relaxed again as Buffy swung one fist up and back, not
even bothering to turn around, punching the vamp  who'd
been  attempting to attack her from behind and sending him to
the ground in a heap.
 
 
"...thing is THAT to say?"  Reaching into the waistband of her
jeans, she pulled out a stake, dropped to one knee, planted
it in the vampire's chest, then jumped to her feet again. "And
THEN she asked if Willow bought ALL her clothes at the Goodwill
Thrift Shop."   She ducked and lunged forward, burying her
shoulder in the abdomen of the second vamp, who'd made the
colossal mistake of charging at her head on, threw him up and
over onto his back, then reached down and snapped his neck
as easily as fireplace kindling.  "Oh!  I forgot to tell you...I got a
B+ on my French midterm...thanks to you."  She smiled and
blew him a kiss.
 
 
Spike's grin widened as he recalled the study sessions that had
resulted in her highest French grade ever....
 
 
Three days after they had broken the news to Joyce about
who and what Buffy really was, 'William' had scheduled an
appointment with a Realtor.  After listening to his requirements,
it had taken the agent less than ten minutes to find what he
wanted.  Before the end of the day, an offer had been made
and accepted.
 
 
Located on Waterside Drive, the Tudor style home sat directly
on the lake front.  It had four bedrooms in total and the two
master suites had bathrooms equipped with jacuzzi tubs.  The
main room was warm and inviting, despite it's 2 story vaulted
ceiling; it had a large brick fireplace and picture windows
overlooking the lake.  There was an open gourmet kitchen with
acres of counter space, brand new built-ins, and a breakfast
nook.  The dining room was spacious as well, and one wall
was nothing but french doors opening onto a tiled patio.
 
 
The third level had an open loft, perfect for turning into
a study or office. Immediately adjacent was a game room
with another fireplace and a wet bar.
 
 
Sitting on a heavily treed lot in a quiet neighborhood, the
four thousand square foot home offered ultimate privacy; not
one of the neighbors gave so much as a second thought as
to why the house's new owner had heavy locking shutters
installed on every window.
 
 
~~~~~~~~~~
"Do you feel the same
Am I only dreaming?
Or is this burning
an eternal flame....?"
~~~~~~~~~~
 
 
 
As Buffy rambled on about this and that, he continued to be
highly amused by the entire situation. The fact that he was sitting
in a cemetery, listening to a teenage girl....a SLAYER!...chatter
about nonsensical subjects that he'd once had less than zero
interest in, only pointed out more clearly how totally besotted
he was with her.
 
 
When he had gotten into the habit of accompanying her on
her rounds he wasn't quite sure.  All he could really remember
on the subject was walking with her in the park one night and
feeling a delicious mixture of pride in her skill and admiration
for the sheer poetic energy she emitted when she fought.
 
 
Her delicate appearance, combined with her 'kicking ass and
taking names' attitude, kept him in a constant state of arousal,
while her humorous observations could drive him to helpless
laughter.
 
 
After that first time, he'd found himself going along every
night.  He couldn't even begin to kid himself into the notion
that he was doing it for her protection, since he'd never met
anyone in less need of being protected, by him or anyone else.
 
 
Life...or 'un' life...had suddenly become so much more than
it had ever been.  Everything had changed, and he was happier
than he could remember being at any time before, quite content
to let this small girl insinuate herself into every nook and cranny
of his existence.
 
 
Although he couldn't possibly have cared less about their reactions
for himself, he'd been pleased for Buffy's sake that her friends and
watcher had accepted him with a minimal amount of of resistance for
They were nice enough kids, if slightly irritating at times, but he was
willing to tolerate them since it meant so much to her.
 
 
Most of them, anyway.  As hard as he tried, he couldn't rid
himself of a lingering dislike for Xander.  And, since it seemed
to be mutual, he didn't try very hard.
 
 
Of course, none of them knew yet that he was a vampire. Things
would change when that information was made public, he had no
doubt.
 
 
~~~~~~~~~~
"I believe
It's meant to be, darling
I watch you when you're sleeping
You belong with me..."
~~~~~~~~~~
 
 
 
After finishing off the third vampire, Buffy gave her
stake a jaunty twirl.  "Am I good, or am I good?"
 
 
Smiling, Spike opened his mouth to reply, only to have
it snap shut when he saw a new threat drop out of the
sky...literally.  Before he had time to react, even to shout
a warning, another vamp dropped out of a tree and landed
on the slayer.
 
 
Buffy hit the ground hard, all her wind knocked out of her
by the heavy force of the fall. Her stake flew out of her hand,
landing three feet from Spike.
 
 
Without even thinking, he leaned over and picked it up. Angrier
than he could ever remember being, he took four long strides
and planted his foot in the vampire's side, kicking him off her
and sending him flying a good ten feet away.
 
 
Rage still fueling him, he followed after the vampire, bent over
and grabbed the front of his coat, lifting him completely off the
ground.  When the vampire was hanging in his grasp, kicking his
feet and trying to wriggle free, Spike tightened his grip around
the stake.  "Time for you to die....permanently."
 
 
The vampire continued his efforts to free himself. "What's your
fucking problem, man?" he squeaked. "She's the goddamn slay-
er.....we're vampires!"
 
 
"Yeah, well..." Spike shrugged. "Sorry about this, mate."  He
glanced at Buffy, and saw her sitting up, rubbing the side of her
head. He could smell the blood trickling from a cut she'd sustained
when she'd hit the ground.  "On second thought...no, I'm not," he
added, bringing the stake up and driving it home.
 
 
 
~~~~~~~~~~
"Do you feel the same
Am I only dreaming?
Or is this burning
an eternal flame?"
~~~~~~~~~~
 
 
 
Once the vampire was dust, he turned and went to
Buffy's side, kneeling next to her. "You all right, love?" he
asked, tossing the stake down and taking her chin in his
hand.  He tilted her head to one side and examined the
cut.  It wasn't deep, and he realized she'd probably scraped
against a sharp rock when she'd hit the ground.
 
 
"I'm okay," she reported, placing her hands in his and
letting him pull her to her feet. "Where the heck did that
one come from?"
 
 
He shook his head. "I don't know. He wasn't here originally.
Must have shown up after the fight started."  He kept her
close to him, running his hands up and down her back. "Are
you sure you're all right?"
 
 
She nodded. "Sure I'm sure. Not a scratch on....oh, great...am
I bleeding?  I am, aren't I?"  One hand came up and touched
cut on her head. "I'm bleeding."
 
 
He took her hand, pulling it away. "Stop that. Your hands are
dirty..do you want an infection?"  Reaching into the pocket of
his coat, he pulled out a clean white handkerchief and dabbed
at the trickle of blood just below her ear.  "It's not so bad, sweet-
heart," he informed her.  "Not deep at all. Might need just one
stitch to..."
 
 
She slithered out of his grasp like a greased snake. "I don't
think so," she announced, turning her back to get away.
 
 
"Come back here!"  He stuffed the handkerchief back in his
pocket and strode after her. 
 
 
She heard him coming and sped up. "I'm NOT getting any
stitches. I've had way worse than this before and I don't
need anyone to sew me back together!"
 
 
Putting on a little extra speed, he caught her arm and
pulled her to a stop.   "Maybe, but this is on your face," he
told her.  "It'll leave a scar if it's not closed up properly."
 
 
"Like I care about a little scar," she said, trying to tug
her arm free. "Besides, I can always fix my hair to cover
it up."
 
 
"Buffy..."
 
 
"No. I don't want any stitches and you can't make me!"
 
 
"You're acting like a child."
 
 
"I don't care."    She freed herself and tried once again to
escape entirely.
 
 
He sighed, resigned. "All right, all right...no stitches."  He
grabbed her arm again and turned her. "But we need to close
the cut."
 
 
Buffy remained still. "How?"
 
 
"I can do it myself."
 
 
She glared at him suspiciously. "It better not involve a needle
and thread."
 
 
"It doesn't," he chuckled, then paused a moment. "Do you trust me?"
 
 
"Well, sure.  Why?  What are you gonna do to me?"
 
 
He cupped her face in his hands, turning it just slightly, then
let his demon loose.   "You'll see," he whispered in her ear.
 
 
 
~~~~~~~~~~
"Say my name
Sun shines through the rain
A whole life so lonely
And then you come and ease the pain
I don't want to lose this feeling, oh.."
~~~~~~~~~~

 
 
Bending his head, he carefully applied his tongue
to the cut.
 
 
The taste of her blood was overwhelmingly heady, and
he had to force himself to concentrate on the 'patient care'
aspect of the experience.
 
 
Moving his tongue slowly up and down in short strokes, he
felt her shiver in his hands and smiled against her skin.
 
 
"Um...what....how is that helping?" she asked, her voice
breathy and soft.
 
 
"Mmm...well, there's an enzyme in my saliva when I'm like
this," he replied, showing her his face, then going back to work.
"It helps close up wounds."
 
 
"Oh."   She was silent for a moment. "Then how come I
always see open holes after a vamp bites someone?"
 
 
He laughed softly, nuzzling her ear for a moment. "Because
very few vampires bother to close their victim's wounds, and
those victims are usually dead anyway."
 
 
"Uh-huh.  Why are you stopping?"
 
 
"All done."  He changed faces and tilted her head back to
look down into her eyes. "Feel better?"
 
 
She appeared to be considering it. "It does," she said. "And
it doesn't hurt anymore.  How'd you do THAT?"
 
 
"It's a secret. Someday I'll tell you all about it." 
.
 
 
 
That small infusion of her blood had not only instilled added
power, but had also aroused him sexually, a fact she couldn't
help but be aware of when he pressed himself against her.
 
 
 
~~~~~~~~~~
"Close your eyes
Give me your hand
Do you feel my heart beating?
Do you understand?
Do you feel the same.."
~~~~~~~~~~
 
 
She was aware of it all right!
 
 
Pulling away, she gave him the most disapproving look
she could come up with.  "Oh, no."  She shook her head. "No,
no, no."
 
 
He merely smiled.  "Oh, yes."
 
 
"I am NOT having sex in this cemetery!"
 
 
"Oh, yes, you are."
 
 
"Oh, no, I'm not."   She turned on one heel and began to
walk away.
 
 
"Buffy...."   He came up behind her and lifted her right
off her feet, then headed in the direction of a large marble
crypt.
 
 
"Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me!"
 
 
 
 
~~~~~~~~~~
"Am I only dreaming
Or is this burning
an eternal flame....?"
~~~~~~~~~~
 
 
TBC.....
(I know, I know...I'm working on the next part right now!)