Chapter 15: Mission Completed

Spike ran out of the Bronze. He looked around but couldn’t see Buffy anymore. He sighed and began running again towards Buffy’s house.

Buffy was running as fast as she could, not really feeling well.



‘Stupid scotch,’ she thought. ‘Stupid Spike.’ Tears were rolling down her face. She couldn’t stop crying- life was hell.


She kept thinking about Spike- he seemed so nice. She even gave up her virginity for him. She should’ve known better- men couldn’t be trusted. Every man she’d ever known let her down. Well, exept Giles, but maybe he would let her down soon, too. Spike after all was his nephew, and family comes first. That’s what Giles always said- he called her his family- but Spike’s his real family. She didn’t know what to think anymore. How could her life get this screwed up when it was pretty screwed up before this mess?


She didn’t know what hurt more- the fact that he slept with a lot of girls when he was with her, or the fact that Cordelia was sitting on his lap and he didn’t even try to hide it. It’s like he wanted to hurt her. ‘But if he wanted to hurt me, why did he look so sad? No Buffy, don’t go there. He’s no good. Forget him,’ she tried to convince herself, but she knew she would never forget him.

She saw the mansion and ran to her door, opening it and falling down on the couch. “This couch is of the good. People don’t appreciate a good couch anymore,” she babbled with closed eyes. She screamed when she felt a hand clamp down on her shoulder.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!” She turned around, kicking at her offender, and looked at...

“Spike?”

“Bloody hell, woman! What did you do that for?” he asked, rubbing over his leg where he knew was going to be a bruise later.

“You deserved it,” she mumbled.

“Look, Buffy, I’m confused. What’s going on?” he asked, looking at her, who was giving him an evil glare.





Xander, Anya and Cordelia were still sitting at the table.

“Well, that was rude,” Cordelia said. “That girl must have some issues, poor Buffy.”
“What?” she asked when she saw Xander looking at her funny.

“How do you know her name is Buffy?” he asked, knowing that she had something to do with this whole fiasco.

“Well, you know, from around,” she tried.

“You did this, didn’t you? You know why she was mad?” he asked her.

“Xander, what's going on?” Anya asked him, not understanding why they were arguing.

“I think your friend here is trying to break up my friend’s relationship,” he said, still looking at Cordelia.

“Oh, she isn’t my friend,” Anya said with a smile.

Xander turned to her. “What?”

“Yeah, I actually only met her yesterday. She wanted to join our date because she knew your friend and wanted to get to know him better. I thought she was your friend- I really don’t like her," she said, looking at Cordelia.

“See, this is why I like you,” he said, smiling at Anya, loving the idea that some other girl besides Willow hated Cordelia.

Cordelia was still stitting at the table, drinking her diet Pepsi.

Xander looked at her with a disgusted look. “Now, Cordelia, you’re gonna tell me exactly what you did,” he said.

“Why would I do that?” she asked, clearly not impressed by his glare.

“Because otherwise, I’ll tell all of your little friends that you went out with us,” he said.

Cordelia looked at him with wide eyes. “You wouldn’t! That would ruin my whole reputation!” she exclaimed.

“Yep.” He smiled.





“You KNOW what’s going on,” she said, trying not to look at his face.

“No, I don’t,” he replied, lifting her chin so she would look at him. “Tell me. Why are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong? That song you were singing, was that how you feel?”

“'Do something wrong'? Hell yes, you did something wrong! How can you do this? How can you stand here, acting as if you don’t know?” she yelled.

“Because I really don’t know,” he shot back.

“I know what you did,” she said with tears in her eyes. “I know what you did.”

“What? What I did? What did I do?” he asked, not understanding what she was getting at. He took a step towards her, wiping her tears away with his tumb.

“Don’t touch me!” she yelled, taking a couple of steps back. She looked at Spike through the tears, noticing the hurt look on his face.

“What? I don’t understand, luv- talk to me.”

“Love? Am I your love? Do you LOVE me?” she asked with a hint of sarcasm.

“You know I do.”

“I don’t know anything right now. You say that you love me, you say that I’m the only one you want. How can I be the only one you want when you’re fucking other girls, telling them you love them?”

“What? What the hell are you talking about? How can you think that?” he asked, not getting how she could come up with such an idea.

“I know everything, Spike. I know about your little plan with your friends and how you use girls for your own pleasure and then dump them when you’re done with them.”

“Buffy, baby. Who told you this?” he asked her.

“C-Cor-delia,” she said, looking into his eyes.

“Cordelia? That bitch, I’m gonna kill her,” he said, pausing before looking at Buffy. “Baby, look at me.”

Buffy didn’t look up, instead continuing to stare at her feet.

“Please look at me, baby,” he begged her.

Finally, she looked at his face. “Look into my eyes." He smiled when she looked directly at him. “I didn’t do that- I love you more then anything. I would never even think about being with someone else. Please, you have to believe me. Cordelia wanted to date me, but I didn’t want her- I want you. You’re the only one I want,” he said, looking into her eyes.

“Then what about tonight?” she asked. He looked at her with a confused expression. “She was sitting on your lap,” she explained.

“Xander was having a date with this bird named Anya, and Cordelia wanted to come like a double-date or something. I didn’t know anything about it till she showed up. Xander asked me to come with him because he was afraid to be alone. He really likes Anya. This guy took our chair and Cordelia sat on my lap. I wanted to push her off of me, really I did. But Xander looked at me, and I didn’t want to ruin his date, so I didn’t do anything.”

She looked at him, still crying.

“Please believe me, luv. Please.”

“I-I believe you,” she said, really believing him. She could see in his eyes that he was telling her the truth.

Spike sighed in relief and happiness. He stepped towards her and tried to kiss her, but Buffy stepped back again.

Spike looked at her, confused. “I thought...” he started.

“I really do believe you, it’s just... I’m sorry, this isn’t gonna work,” she told him.

“Why not?” he asked, getting tears in his eyes, also.

She looked at him. She loved him so much, but she didn’t want to get hurt. “I just don’t love you,” she lied.

Spike looked at her. She gasped when she saw the tears rolling down his face. He stepped towards her. “I don’t believe you," he replied.

Buffy looked down. “I’m sorry,” she said before running up the stairs into her room, locking the door.

Spike looked at the stairs, crying his heart out. “This isn’t over!” he yelled before turning and walking out of the mansion, crying the whole way home.

Chapter 16: Needing the Answers

“What is going on, William?” Giles asked when Spike got in the house, tears
rolling down his face. He was just reading a very good book, but he was
interrupted with the sound of the front door slamming and the sobs that were
coming from Spike.

“Buffy,” he whispered before looking at his uncle. “That bloody bitch!” he shouted, trying to make his anger go away. He couldn’t believe the nerve that Cordelia had.

‘Destroying peoples lifes- what the hell was she thinking? I’m going to make her pay- I promise I will,’ he thought to himself.

“Now, William, I know that you’re mad, but you can’t call Buffy a bitch. She
is a very nice young wo...” Giles started with an angry look, dissapointed
that Spike could say such a thing about the girl that he thought of as a
daughter.

“I’m not talking about Buffy, you git. I’m talking about that bitch
Cordelia,” he said with an expression of ‘duh’ on his face.

”Oh well, yeah, she is a bitch,” Giles mumbled to himself. He met Cordelia a
couple of years ago when she first entered Sunnydale High and immediately
didn’t like her. She didn’t appreciate a good book and was very rude to
other people.

“Did you and Buffy get into a fight?” Giles asked.

Spike looked at him. “No, Giles, I’m crying my heart out for nothing!” he
yelled.

“Sorry. Do you want to talk about it?” Giles asked him while Spike grabbed
something to drink.

“No, I just want to go to my bedroom and find a way to get my girl back,” he
said with confidence.

“Very good. Just remember, William, you can’t always get what you want,”
Giles warned him.

Spike looked at him. “I know that, but I will get my girl back.”




Spike had just entered the room when his phone rang. He smiled, hoping it
was Buffy.

“Hello?” Spike answered.

“Hey, man, it’s me,” Spike heard through the phone. He sighed- he should’ve
known that Buffy wouldn’t have called him.

“Hi, what’s up, Whelp?” Spike asked, not in the mood to talk with his friend.
He really liked Xander, but the timing of the boy just sucked.

“I just wanted to say that Cordelia said something to Buffy about a bet. She
told us all about it. Something that you use women and then lo..” he
started.

“Yeah, I know- Buffy told me.”

“Oh thank god. You guys are okay, then? I was afraid that you would get into
trouble with Buffy,” Xander replied.

Spike sighed, forcing the tears to stop. “It did,” he mumbled.

“What?” Xander asked, not hearing what his friend just said.

“I said that I did get into trouble with Buffy. We broke up.”

“What? Why? I mean, Buffy knows the truth, right?” Xander panicked, not
believing that his two friends weren’t together anymore.

“Yeah, she knows the truth, and she says she believes me. I think she’s just
scared.”

“Scared of what?” Xander asked.

“I don’t know, but that’s what I gotta find out.”

After saying goodbye, Spike hung up the phone and went back down. He saw his
uncle reading a book on the couch and walked over to him.

“Uhm, Giles?” Giles looked at his nephew and saw tears in his eyes.

“What is it, William?” Giles asked, looking at Spike with concern in his eyes.


“I...I need some help.”


“With what?” Giles asked, not sure what Spike was asking him. He knew it
had something to do with Buffy and he wasn’t sure if he could help his nephew.

“I need to know more about Buffy, things that have happened in her past. She
was too scared to tell me about it, but I need to know. Please,” Spike
begged his uncle. “I need to fix this.”

“William, I would really like to help you, but the things Buffy told me are private. She trusted me to share her secrets, and I can’t betray her trust. You must understand that, William.”

“I do, Giles, I do. But I love her so damn much, and I know she loves me
back. She’s just scared of something, and I need to know what it is that
she’s scared of,” Spike told him, looking at his uncle with pleading eyes.

“You’re just as bad as your father was,” Giles told him. “I’m not supposed to
tell you this... but okay. When I first started to connect with Buffy, I made
these tapes with our voices on them. They’re upstairs in the attic in a
big box that says ‘Buffy’- you can’t miss it,” Giles said. He expected a big
‘thank you’, but all he got was a Spike running towards the attic. “You’re
welcome,” he mumbled to himself.

“Now, maybe I can make a little visit to a certain someone...”



Buffy was still lying in her bed when she heard a knock on her bedroom door.
She put her head under the blankets, not wanting to deal with Spike right
now. She knew if she’d look into his eyes, she would kiss him and beg him to
take her back. But she couldn’t do that. She couldn’t stand being hurt
again.

She was so deep in thought that she didn’t notice that the person that
knocked on her door had already come in.

Buffy heard a cough. “What is it, Giles?” she asked from under the blankets.

“How did you know it was me?” he asked.

Buffy pulled her head out from under the blankets and saw Giles looking at her
with a confused frown. “You’re the only one I know that has a cough that’s
annoying,” she said with a smile, which Giles returned.

“I guess you heard the news, huh?” Buffy asked.

Giles nodded. “He still loves you, you know.”

“I know- I still love him, too, but that doesn’t change anything.”

“Can I ask what went wrong?” Giles asked her.

“Sure, ask all you want,” she said, not really in the mood to talk about it.
Giles looked at her with a glare, and she sighed. “I wasn’t...” she started.

“Yes?”

“I wasn’t scared,” she said, looking at him with tears in her eyes. When she
saw his confused look, she started to explain. “He made me feel at home. I
was comfortable with people that I didn’t even know and I wasn’t scared
anymore.”

“And that’s what made you afraid?” he asked, and Buffy nodded. Giles wrapped his arms around her. “Don’t you get it, you silly girl? This is good- it means that you’re starting to heal.”

“Good? This isn’t good. The last time that I felt at home, something bad
happened! Every time something feels good, it gets taken away from me. I
don’t want to be in that kind of pain again. I love William, I love him more
than anything. But I’m afraid...”

“Afraid that he will be taken away from you,” Giles said with understanding.

“I’m afraid that he’ll leave me. Like everyone else that I cared about. I
can’t give him anything. What do I have to offer him?”

“You,” Giles answered.

“And what if that isn’t enough for him?” she asked him with a look that
could only be described as terrified.

“Then he really is a fool.”




--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 17: Digging up the past

Spike was sitting on his bed, looking at the box that held all the answers next to him. He knew that it would explain a lot about Buffy, but he didn’t know if he wanted to know all about her past.

‘But if I do, maybe I can help her. She’s not alone in this- I just need her to see that,’ he thought to himself. And with that said, he grabbed the box and opened it.

Inside the box was a smaller box, so he opened it and saw a couple of tapes. ‘This is it, mate.’

He grabbed a tape and walked towards his CD player. He put the tape into the recorder and sat back down on his bed before grabbing the remote and pushing the play-button.

He turned up the sound until he heard his uncle talking.

”So, Buffy. Tell me what you did today,” he heard his uncle say.

“Nothing really, Giles. I just did some homework, cleaned a little bit, and wrote some stuff in my diary like you said,” Buffy told Giles on the tape.

“What did you write?”

Buffy gave him the diary, hoping that she wouldn’t have to tell the story. She knew she could trust Giles, and she also knew that talking about it made her feel better. But she hated to dig up the past. She wanted to move on, not look back.

Giles shook his head. “No, Buffy, I want you to tell me. Please tell me?” Giles asked her. Buffy looked at him with her big, sad eyes. “You can also read it to me if that would be better.”

Spike heard Buffy sigh.

“Alright. Uhm... Dear diary,
I know it’s been a while, but Giles told me that it was better for me to write about what happened. I think I should start from the beginning then.

It all happened when I first went to my new school in L.A. I made a lot of news friends there. My best friends were Carrie, Eliza, and Jack. We did everything together; shopping, homework, talk about boys. Well, me and the girls talked about boys. I remember my first real boyfriend. His name was Ford, and I really loved him, and he loved me, too. I thought that we were going to live happily ever after. But that only happens in fairy tales. The thing is, he did what every other man has done to me- he left, in one way or another. I remember, it was on a Thursday, somewhere in the afternoon. We were walking home, and he told me that he had to pick up some stuff from a friend. I asked him if I should go with him, but he kissed me and told me that I would see him that night. We planned a little movie night, just the two of us. At his house, of course- my father would’ve never let him in the house. He didn’t like Ford at all- he said that he was a piece of shit and that we were perfect for each other.

Back to Ford. After he kissed me and told me to go home, I walked towards my house, away from him. I heard him yelling something, so I turned around. I was standing across the street, looking at him. He yelled at me that he loved me, and I smiled, yelling back that I loved him, too. I thought he was standing too far away, and something told me that I should bring him with me and keep him safe, but I dismissed the thought, thinking that I was just missing him. But that turned out wrong...

A car came by and the windows were open. Before I knew it, my boyfriend was lying on the ground, blood all around him. I can’t even remember the gunshots. Everything happened so fast.
I ran to him and kneeled next to him. I remember looking at him, crying so hard that I almost couldn’t see him anymore.”

Spike could hear Buffy crying, and it broke his heart. A part of him was jealous of the guy, but his heart was breaking for his girl.

“I looked at him and told him that he shouldn’t be scared, that everything was going to be alright. And he smiled, saying that he wasn’t scared, that he was with me, and that was all he wanted. He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it, saying he loved me before he closed his eyes. I wanted him to be safe, so I laid down next to him, his arms around me. The ambulance and cops found us this way. Some neighbor must have called them- I didn’t know. They had to use 4 men to get me away from Ford- I didn’t want him to be without me. I didn’t want him to be scared.

The police brought me home, and my mom and I sat on my bed and cried all night long.

Four weeks later, my mom and dad divorced. It all went so fast for me- I wasn’t even paying attention to anyone anymore. I could only think of Ford, his face when he said that he wasn’t scared.

My friends and I brought flowers to Ford’s grave every Friday, and we would talk to him, crying together.

Then three weeks later, we moved to Sunnydale. And when we lived there for three months, I heard that Ford’s death was a mistake. They thought he was someone else, some gangmember.
The murderers were killed a couple of weeks later, I think by some other gang, and I cried for that. I was crying tears of joy because the murderers of my boyfriend got what they deserved... Does that make me bad? Being happy that someone is dead? Sometimes I think so, but then sometimes, I think I was being happy that justice was served.”

Spike heard the click of the tape, indicating that that was it. His eyes were red from crying. He didn’t understand everything now, but he understood more. And that was enough, for now...




--------------------------------------------------------
 

Chapter 18: Losing Him

Buffy sat on her bed hours later after Giles had left, thinking about all the things that he had said. They had talked a lot, and Giles had told her a lot of stuff about Spike’s past. About his father, who died in a car accident. Giles said that Spike and his father were very close. She thought of her mother- they were like best friends. They shared everything together. Something that she always loved about her. Her mother got pregnant when she was nineteen, which was pretty young, but her mother never blamed her for an early pregnancy. She always said that she loved her more than anything and that she wouldn’t change what happened for the whole world.

She stood up and walked towards her clothes. She put on some new clothes and went downstairs before grabbing her coat and disappearing through the door.

After a short walk, she was finally there. She kneeled down.

“Hi, mom,” she said to her mother’s gravestone, looking at it. ‘Joyce Summers,’ it said. ‘Loving mom and devoted friend. May she rest in peace.’

She really was a loving mom. She had so much love, and she made sure that Buffy got a lot of it. Buffy sometimes wondered if the love that her mother had was so much because her father didn’t have any. When Buffy and her mother had moved to Sunnydale, Buffy had asked her mother why she ever married her dad. She remembered her mother’s face when she told her about her father.

“Your father wasn’t always like that, honey. We were in love once, and your father was the best boyfriend that anyone could wish for. We were very poor but so in love. I thought that money didn’t matter. But your father didn’t share my feelings about money. He thought that he was supposed to be rich, that he couldn’t be a man without the wealth. So he decided to work harder so he could make a lot of money, and he did. But there was a price- his soul. He worked overtime every night, saying that he did it to make sure we were taken care of. But he didn’t do it for that- he did it for the name it gave him, to be popular, wealthy, and perfect. And I wasn’t perfect, so your father found a new woman to spend time with,” her mother had told her with a sad expression on her face.

“His secretary?” Buffy had asked her.

“Yes.”

“But why didn’t you leave him when you found out about that? And after what he did to you, to me?” Buffy had asked her with tears forming in her eyes.

Her mother had put her arms around her. “Because I still loved him after I found out that he had another woman. And I was hoping that he would change, even after he started hitting me. But when I saw him laying a hand on you, I knew that I had to take you out of there. And I did. And I’m happy now, being here with my little girl,” her mother had smiled.

Her father had beaten her a lot longer than her mother had seen, but she never told her, afraid of what her father would do to her or her mother.

So here she was, sitting in front of her mother’s grave. She started talking again.

“So, my life is pretty bad right now,” Buffy said to the grave. “You’ve seen Spike, right? He’s pretty hot, huh, Mom?” She giggled a little. “And he’s so nice, gentle, and caring. He’s perfect. I’m just so scared that he’ll turn out to be like any other man. Afraid that he’ll hurt me. I don’t think he would ever hit me or hurt me intentionally, but it would hurt a lot if he left me. I don’t think I could deal with that. I hurt so much when Ford died- I loved him so much. But the love that I felt for Ford is nothing compared to the love that I feel for Spike. So if he would leave me... I would die.
I love him so much, Mommy, and I don’t want to lose him.” Buffy said, crying with her head buried in her hands.

She tensed when she felt arms around her. She looked up and saw Spike holding her, tears in his eyes. She hugged him as both cried. After a couple of minutes, which seemed like hours, Buffy finally stopped and pulled back, looking at him.

“You heard?” she asked him with a tiny voice.

“Yeah, I heard it all,” He answered, hoping that she wouldn’t be mad at him for eavesdropping. He didn’t follow her or anything- he was just walking towards her house when he heard her talking. Then he saw her sitting in front of a grave, talking to it, talking to her mother, and his heart ached for her.

He gave her a little kiss on the nose. “You are NEVER going to lose me, do you hear me? Never!” he said, looking straight into her eyes, wanting her to believe him.

“I’m just scared,” she said.

“I know, but I am, too.”

Buffy looked at him with a confused look on her face. “Do you think that I’m not scared? Buffy, I’m terrified of losing you, but I need you. I need you with me.”

Buffy grabbed him and kissed him hard, but passionately. They both moaned at the contact, needing each other now more than anything. When they pulled back, they were both breathing heavily.

“Let’s get back to my place,” Buffy said. Spike looked her in the eyes, looking for some sort of sign that she wasn’t sure. When all he saw was love and lust, he lifted her up and carried her towards her house. Buffy giggled and put her arms around his neck. “I want you,” she whispered, which only caused Spike to walk even faster towards her house.

When they were finally in her home, they made their way up to her bedroom. Spike practically threw her on the bed, taking his clothes off before laying on top of her. He smiled at her and kissed her on the lips, moving towards her neck. He nibbled on her neck, which caused Buffy to moan. He pulled back.

“God, you’re perfect,” he said before he put his hand on a breast and giving it a light squeeze, causing Buffy to moan again. “Yes, baby, moan for me,” Spike whispered into her ear, licking it.

Buffy pushed his hand away from her breast and pulled her shirt off, along with her bra. Then she pulled off her pants and panties. Spike looked at her with a smile, and she shrugged. “I just needed to feel your skin against mine,” she said with a smile.

“Oh baby, you’re gonna feel a lot more skin,” he said with one of his typical Spike smirks that made her weak in the knees. He put his lips around a nipple and sucked it hard into his mouth.

“Ugh... Spike!”

Spike went down her body, moving towards her cunt, which Spike once called ‘The most perfect little pussy that God has ever created’. Spike was almost there when he felt a tug on his hair, so he looked at Buffy, who shook her head.

“No foreplay- we can do foreplay later. I just need you inside of me, please. Can’t wait- I need you,” she whimpered.

Spike smiled. “Alright, kitten.”

He gave her a quick kiss on the lips before thrusting inside of her, which made Buffy scream. Spike stopped. “Does it still hurt?” he asked with a look full of concern.

Buffy smiled. “No, you’re just so big. You have the most perfect cock that God has ever created,” she said with a smirk of her own.

“God, baby, I love you,” Spike said before he started thrusting into her heat again.

‘I’m home,’ he thought. ’I’m finally home.’

Buffy kissed him hard on the lips. “I love you,” she said, moaning softly. “Oh God, don’t stop, baby. Never stop.”

“I won’t stop- I could never stop. I could do this all night... making love to you... pounding into your sweet pussy. Do you feel me, baby? Do you feel me inside of you?”

“I feel you, Spike. God, I feel you,” Buffy moaned, running her fingernails across his back, leaving her mark.

They were moving together, building up the speed. Buffy hooked her legs under his ass. “Faster, baby, I need you too much.”

Spike wasn’t one to refuse a lady’s wish, especially not his lady, so he speed up his thrusts, practically ramming into her now.

“God, Buffy, you’re so fucking tight... take it, baby, take all of me... hot, bloody hell... I love you... Love your sweet pussy, love all of you,” he said, wrapping his lips around one sweet nipple before sucking it into his mouth.

“Ugh, Spike,” Buffy moaned. “I need to...baby, I need...”

“I know what you need,” Spike whispered in her ear, moving his hands down. “Spike will give you what you need.” He pinched her clit, causing her to scream, moving her body even harder against him, clamping her muscles around his cock.

“Fuck, Buffy!” Spike yelled out, thrusting once more before spilling himself in her heat.

They laid there for a little while, Spike on top of Buffy, before Spike rolled over, taking Buffy with him so that she was on top.

“That was perfect,” Buffy said with a smile, looking at him with a satisfied look.

“You made it perfect, luv,” he said before kissing her on her forehead. Buffy yawned, trying to hide it from Spike- she didn’t want this night to be over yet. “Go to sleep, Buffy. I’ll be here in the morning,” he assured her.

“What about Giles?”

“He knows I’m here,” he told her.

Buffy laid her head back on his chest. “Goodnight, my love.”

“Goodnight, Spike. I love you,” Buffy said before closing her eyes and slowly falling asleep.

Spike was looking at her, waiting for her to fall asleep. “I love you, too,” he said before joining her, falling into a deep sleep.

They were completely content, not knowing that there was a secret meeting happening about them.

“Cordy, I just don’t think we should do this anymore,” the guy pleaded against his friend.

“Are you backing out? Oh my god, I can’t believe you! You fucking asshole. We had a deal- you get her, and I get him!” Cordelia Chase screamed at him.

“You don’t understand. When I went to see her tonight, I saw her and Spike sitting together, and I realized that they really love each other,” he said.

“That’s not the reason- I know you, Angel O’Connor!” Cordelia shouted at him.

Angel sighed. “Darla is pregnant. I’m going to be a father,” Angel said with a smile on his face. “I wasn’t happy about it at first, but Darla and I are going to try and make this work. I don’t want my son or daughter to grow up knowing that its father was the reason why two people in love broke up. And I don’t want them to have a father that took a girl with force.” Angel looked down. He couldn’t believe what he was thinking. He never raped a girl before- they always went willingly, they all seemed to want him. But he saw the love between Buffy and Spike, the same kind of love that existed between him and Darla. And he really wanted to be a good man, and for once in his pathetic life, he wanted to do the right thing, especially for his baby.

Cordelia looked at him with big eyes, staring holes into him. “I can’t believe it! Angel O’ fucking Connor becoming a father! You actually fucked that whore- I can’t believe you!” Cordelia yelled at him.

“Hey! You shut your mouth. That’s the mother of my baby, and I… I love her,” he whispered. “I really love her.” He looked at Cordelia. “It’s over, Cordy. I’m sorry, but I can’t do it,” he said before walking away.

Cordelia watched leave and sighed. “Damn. I guess I have to do it all alone, then,” she said.



Wrap yourself around me baby
I need a lot of warmth these days
Hold me just tighter baby
I need strength these days

And all the damage I do
Wasn’t meant for you
No I just wanna love you
Will you love me too

Can we forget what I said
I was out of my head
Something that I never meant
But baby, hoping you might understand
I was out of my head, I was out of my head

Try to pull me back down baby
The tights that bind could break
'cause I’m feeling restless lately
I need you these days

And all the damage I do
Wasn’t meant for you
No I just wanna love you
Will you love me too

Can we forget what I said
I was out of my head
Something that I never meant
But baby, hoping you might understand
I was out of my head, I was out of my head

Words can’t mean nothing
I still try to tell
What we have is something
And I know damn well
I’m better with you
And I’m hopeless without
So just get here ‘cause I need you now

But baby hoping you might understand
I was out of my head



---------------------------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 19: Branding Our Love

Buffy woke up with Spike’s arms around her. She smiled and rolled over so she was facing him. She smiled as she saw him lying on his side with an innocent look on his face.

‘Definitely not innocent,’ she thought to herself, thinking about all the things that he did to her the previous night. They woke up in the middle of the night and made love three more times. Buffy loved the sex, and she loved the things that Spike whispered when he made love to her.

She remembered last night, how he whispered to her that she was beautiful and that he had never met someone like her. That she was the one for him and that they would be together forever. He also said that she was his little vixen in bed, that he came so hard because she could make it hurt in all the wrong places. And she came, just hearing him say that with that sexy voice of his.

She smiled at him. He really was perfect. She kissed him softly on the lips before moving down his body. She kissed her way down, licking at his nipples, which made Spike gasp in his sleep. She smiled before continuing her way down.

She looked at his cock- he wasn’t hard yet, but he also wasn’t completely soft, either. She smiled and gave a little lick on the head. She never did that before- she saw it in some movies, but other then that... never. She was pretty scared, but she wanted to do it for him. She gave him another lick down the length of him. When she heard him moan, she knew she was doing the right thing. She thought about the movie before opening her mouth and taking the head inside.

“Buffy!” she heard Spike gasp. She looked up and saw that he was still asleep.

‘This is fun!’ she thought to herself.

She opened her mouth wider, taking him in further. She couldn’t get all of him into her mouth- he was way too big for that!

‘God, he tastes good,’ Buffy thought.

She moved her head up and down and heard him moan harder.

“Harder, baby, please, Buffy!” she heard Spike yell. She opened her eyes to look at him. His eyes were half-open, his eyes full of lust.

Buffy sucked him harder, getting more and more of him into her mouth. She thought about the porn movie again, that one she saw when Spike had caught her pleasuring herself, and remembered something that a girl did in that movie. She moved her hand to Spike’s face. He understood the message and took her finger into his mouth and sucked on it. After a couple of seconds, she took it back. Spike looked at her, not knowing what she was planning on doing.

He screamed when he found out- she had put her finger into his ass. “Buffy! Fuck!” he yelled before thrusting into her mouth once and spilling himself inside it. Trusting the movie that she saw, she swallowed his cum.

She wiped her mouth with her hand. “Tasty,” she said, looking at Spike with a smile. She crawled back up and put her arms around him, laying next to him.

“That was a nice wake-up call,” he said with a smile. “Very nice.” Buffy smiled back. “You didn’t have to do that, you know,” Spike said, hoping that she didn’t do that because she thought that she was supposed to do that.

“I know,” she said with a smile, reassuring him. “I wanted to.”

Spike smiled at that and gave her a passionate kiss. They broke apart when they heard Buffy’s stomach, which made her giggle. “I guess I’m hungry,” she said.

“I guess so, too. Well then, I’m going to make you breakfast. You stay right here, rest a bit. I’ll be back in a second,” he said before giving her a little kiss and moving out of bed. He turned around, showing Buffy his other arm.

He was putting his pants back on when he heard Buffy gasp. He turned around. “What’s wrong?” he asked. He looked at Buffy, who was looking at him with wide eyes.

“What did you do?” she asked him.

“What?” he asked.

“Your arm!” Buffy practically yelled at him.

Spike looked down. “Oh.”

“‘Oh’? That’s all you have to say? ‘Oh’?! You have my name tattoed on your arm!” she yelled at him.

“Well, actually, luv, it’s a little heart and key with your name in the heart, not just your name,” he said with an innocent smile, hoping to lighten the mood.

“Not funny, Spike!” she yelled before taking a deep breath. “Why did you do it?” she asked, more calmly now.

He mumbled something that she couldn’t hear. “What?”

“I said because I love you and I want the world to know that I’m yours and that you’re mine,” He said, still looking down, not wanting to see her mad. He was prepared for everything- the yelling, even maybe a slap against his cheek- but he didn’t expect her to push him against the wall.

‘God, I messed up,’ he thought before she kissed him hard. She was practically tearing his lips open, grabbing him by the head to deepen the kiss, grinding herself against him.

“You... are .... mine,” she said between kisses. She gave him another long passionate kiss before pulling back. “And I’m most definitely yours,” she added with a smile.

Spike smiled at her, giving her a big hug. “I thought that you’d be mad,” he said.

“Well, I admit it is pretty stupid. A thing like that is pretty permanent, you know, but that only shows how much you love me,” She said with a smile. “And the world should definitely know that you belong to me.”

Spike gave her a tender kiss, and Buffy whimpered. “I love you,” she said.

“I love you, too.”

Buffy smiled at him. “Good, now go and get me some breakfast,” She said with a big smile. Spike chuckled and gave her a little kiss.

“Yes, ma’am,” he said before walking towards the stairs, giving a little yelp when Buffy pinched him on the butt.




-------------------------------------------------------------

 

--------------------------------------------------------------



Chapter 20: Trusting an enemy

Buffy wanted to get some icecream, so she begged Spike, but he still didn’t want to get out of bed. She wanted to go to a little place where her mother always took her.
They didn’t only sell ice cream- they sold a lot of other stuff, like candy, small gifts, balloons, posters, coffee, cake, and other things like that. There were tables where you could just sit and enjoy the food that you bought, along with a little corner for teenagers to just hang out.

The owner of the shop was a really good friend of the family.
He had always turned the shop into a big partyhouse when it was Buffy’s birthday. His name was Ben, but she called him ‘Uncle Benny’.

Uncle Benny died of old age a couple of years ago- another man that she loved that had left her life. But Buffy wanted to see that shop again so that she could see the thing that made her happy when she was younger, along with introducing it to the one that made her happy now. Spike, however, wasn’t in the mood for ice cream- not that he didn’t like it, but he liked something else a lot more.

“But, Spike, you already got a taste of that like five times!” she yelled, giving him a pout that she knew he couldn’t refuse.

After Spike had made her breakfast, he brought it to her bed, but she didn’t eat a lot of it because a certain someone kept sucking and nibbling on her nipples, which made Buffy crazy with lust. She was sore all over from their extreme lovemaking, but she didn´t care about any of that when he had crawled down her body to ´kiss and make it better´.

“Please, can we go?” Buffy asked him, still giving him one of her adorable pouts.

Spike looked at her. ‘God, she knows I can’t resist that pout,’ he thought to himself. ‘Fucking evil, that is.’

“But, kitten, it’s 10 o’clock- no shop in Sunnydale is open this late.”

He gave her a confused look when he saw her grin. “I know, but I have the key,” she said.

Spike looked at her, staring into her eyes. “Is there something that you’re not telling me, luv?” he asked her, finding it weird that she had the key.

Buffy gave a sigh. “The shop was owned by this guy that I knew, named Uncle Benny. He gave my mom and I a key in case we had weird cravings at night. Which we had like all the time,” she said with a smile, thinking about the good memories she had with Uncle Benny. “I don’t know if the key fits anymore- Uncle Benny died a couple of years ago- but we can try.”
Spike kissed her on the cheek and got out of bed.

“Let’s go,” he said before grabbing his pants and putting them on. He looked at Buffy, who was smiling at him. She got out of bed and walked towards him, wrapping her arms around him and giving him a passionate kiss. They were both breathing hard when she pulled back.

“What was that for, luv?” Spike asked her.

She smiled. “For being the best boyfriend ever.”



They were walking hand in hand towards the ice cream shop, just talking and laughing together, not worrying about a thing at all. They were feeling completely safe.

They didn’t notice that someone was watching them, someone who was holding a knife in her hand. A someone called Cordelia Chase.

“You won’t be laughing after I’m through with you, Buffy Summers,” Cordelia said to herself.

She had a plan to make Spike fall into her arms. It was pretty simple, really- she was going to kill Buffy Summers, torturing her first, ofcourse. And when Spike was crying for her, she would come to him and be the sensitive girl and help him with his pain, be his little saviour. And then she would kill him after using him as her little sex-slave. ‘Nobody rejects Cordelia Chase!’ She only needed Buffy to be alone for just a couple of seconds. ‘Then I finally get what I want.’

She was just about to come closer so she could follow them better when she heard a cell phone go off.

She saw Buffy searching for it in the pockets of her coat before finally finding it.

”Who is it?” Spike asked when Buffy was looking at her cell phone with a weird look.

Buffy shrugged. “I don’t know.” She pushed a button and brought the cell phone to her ear.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Buffy, it’s Angel. We met at the mansion with Spike,” she heard through the phone.

She looked confused for a moment before she remembered who he was. “Oh right, are you looking for Spike?” She didn’t know why he would call her on her cell phone. She didn’t even know how he got her number.

”I’m actually looking for the both of you. There’s something that I have to tell you guys, and you need to trust me on this, alright? Please, it’s really hard for me to tell you,” he said with a serious voice.

“Alright, hold on,” She said before moving the phone away from her ear. She looked at Spike with a frown. “It’s Angel,” she said.

“Angel? What does he want?”

“I don’t know, but he says that he needs to talk to us. He sounds pretty serious, Spike.”

“Alright, let me hear him, too,” he said. Buffy turned the phone so Spike could hear Angel, as well.

“Okay, I’m back. Spike’s here, too,” she said through the phone.

“Good. Now, this might sound a bit strange, but I’m serious and telling the truth. Please don’t interrupt me, okay? It’s a long story.”

“Okay, Angel, tell us. What’s going on?” Buffy asked him.

“Alright, well you guys may know that Cordelia always had some sort of crush on me. That went away when you came to our school, Spike. Cordelia wants you, and you really pissed her off when you rejected her because of Buffy. She never gets rejected, and she wants to make you pay for that, but she wants you, too. Trust me, she’ll do everything in her power to get you...” Angel said through the phone but was interrupted when Buffy started cursing.

“Stupid bitch, who does she thinks she is?” she mumbled to herself. Spike softly squeezed her hand.

“Please no interruptions- I’m not finished yet. Anyway... Buffy, when I first saw you, I must admit that I thought you were pretty hot. I wanted you, just like Cordelia wants Spike. So...” Angel stopped for a moment, and they heard him sigh. “Cordelia and I made a deal- we were going to break you guys up so that I could have you and Cordelia could have Spike...” Again he was interrupted, but now by Spike.

“You bloody wanker!” he yelled through the phone.

“Please, I’m still not done yet,” Angel pleaded. He knew they were going to be pissed off, but he needed to warn them.
“A week ago, I found out that I’m going to be a father, so I told Cordelia that the deal was off, that I didn’t want to be a part of it anymore. I’m going to be a dad, and I want my kid to be proud of me. So I backed out, and that made Cordelia even madder. I figured that she would stop because she was all alone on this, but just a minute ago, I found out that I was wrong. She called me and told me that she’s going to kill Buffy and that she was going to kill you later, Spike, after you knew the hurt of losing someone you love. I´m really sorry for making that deal with Cordelia, but I just want to warn you. Please don´t let her win...” That was all they heard before he hung up on them.

Buffy looked at Spike with tears in her eyes. “What are we going to do, Spike?” she asked him.

Spike didn’t know what to do, either. He thought about it for a minute. “We are going to the ice cream shop, and we’re going to lock the doors and get some ice cream. She knows where you live, and she knows where I live, but she doesn’t know that we’re going to the shop. We’re safe there,” he said, hoping that he was right.

Buffy gave him a small smile.

“Don’t worry, baby,” Spike told her. “I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

Spike grabbed her hand, and they walked towards the shop again. When they arrived there two minutes later, Buffy opened the door and walked in. After they were both inside, they locked the door again.

“Where are they? And who was that on the phone?” Cordelia asked herself.



Buffy and Spike were sitting on a couch inside the shop. Buffy was resting her head against his shoulder, sitting comfortably against him.

“Thank god that the key fit,” Buffy said.

Spike nodded. They were both eating their ice cream cones now- Buffy had a chocolate flavor, which was her favourite, while Spike had a vanilla one.

They didn’t know what to say, both thinking about what Angel had told them. They felt like they were living in a dream- stuff like this didn’t happen in real life. There was a long silence before Buffy broke it.

“Why does she want to kill us, Spike? I mean, I know why, but how can someone kill another person because of a reason like that?” she asked him, desperately needing the answers.

“I don’t know, luv. I don’t understand it, either. Some people are just ill in their heads and don’t know any better,” he replied.

Buffy gave him a sad smile. “What’s wrong?” he asked her when he saw the look on her face.

“That’s what my mom said to me once, when I asked her about my dad,” she answered. “I couldn’t understand why he would hurt me, and she said that he was ill in his head and didn’t know any better. I didn’t believe that, though- I thought that it was because he just couldn’t love me. That I wasn’t a person that someone could love.”

“That’s not true, luv. I love everything about you, as does Giles, and so did your mother. It’s true what your mother said, though. I had an aunt once who was ill mentally- she was hearing voices telling her that she was born to kill people. She didn’t hurt anyone, though, because she knew in her heart that it wasn’t right, that it wasn’t her. So she went to an institution for people with the urge to hurt other people or themself. All on her own free will,” he said, thinking back to the memories.

“I’m sorry,” Bufy said, giving him a hug. They were sitting like that for a while, comfortable with just holding each other, when they suddenly heard a scream.

“HELP ME! PLEASE, NO! HELP!!!!!”






I won't tell you what I'm thinking
'Cause it's not the same thing you're thinking too
You could say I got a best friend
And she's always telling me what to do

She's out of sight but easy to find
She's in the front of my mind

The little voice in my head won't let me forget
The little voice in my head is never misled
All of this noise is what keeps me from making a mess
The little voice in my head just won't let me get with you

La lala la la......

When I see you I admit
I start to lose my grip and all of my cool
You smell so sweet just like my perfume
What have you been doing since I left you

You're always there in my thoughts
But that doesn't mean that it's on

The little voice in my head won't let me forget
The little voice in my head is never misled
All of this noise is what keeps me from making a mess
The little voice in my head just won't let me get with you

I know I sound insane, like I'm playing games
'Cause all I really want is you
But there are some things a girl won't do

The little voice in my head won't let me forget
The little voice in my head is never misled
All of this noise is what keeps me from making a mess
The little voice in my head just won't let me get with you

Lalalala lalala lalala lalala la la lalala lalala

The little voice

Lalala lalala lalala la la

The little voice


--------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 21: Saving an Enemy

“I’m sorry,” Buffy said, giving him a hug. They were sitting like that for a while, comfortable with just holding each other, when they suddenly heard a scream.

“HELP ME! PLEASE, NO! HELP!!!!!”

Buffy and Spike sat up and listened to the screams.

“That’s Cordelia,” Spike said.

Buffy looked at Spke. “We have to help her,” she told him.

”What if it’s a trap?” Spike asked her, scared about losing the one he loved.

Buffy looked at him with big eyes. He looked into them, not only seeing that she was scared, but also that she was determined about something. “What if it’s not?” Buffy asked him.

Spike sighed. “Alright.”

They stood up and ran to the door, Buffy quickly opening it, and they started running again, towards the screams still coming from Cordelia. They saw her being held by three guys, probably their ages, who were pulling on Cordelia’s clothes. Her shirt was already ripped off, revealing her black bra, and her pants were unbuttoned but still on her.

“Hey!” Buffy yelled at the guys when she saw them.

The three guys looked at her and Spike. “Shit,” they heard the smallest guy mutter.

“Well, hello, sweetheart,” the biggest one said to Buffy.

Spike moved in front of her, and the guys laughed. “What do you say, boys?” the biggest guy, who was probably the leader, asked his friends. “The brunette or the blonde?”

“Blond,” they both replied.

Spike looked at the guys with hate and anger in his eyes. Spike was even smaller than the smallest guy, who was holding Cordelia, but he was determined to fight them to death if that’s what it would take to ensure Buffy’s safety.

“How about neither?” he asked.
The leader moved towards Spike, letting go of Cordelia.

“Well, boy, maybe you’d like to take it up the ass, but we don’t go there,” he said, laughing at Spike.

Spike couldn’t hold his temper anymore and hit the guy in the jaw. “Fuck!” the leader yelled, falling on the ground. He looked back at Spike, blood coming from his mouth.

“You’re going to pay for that, boy!” he shouted before getting back up. “Mike, get the blond girl!” he yelled to his friend before walking towards Spike again. “You get to watch us fucking your sweet girl.” He grinned at Spike, which made Spike even madder. The man hit Spike with an angry hook and slammed him against the wall beside them. The man moved his mouth to his ear. ”Watch your girl.”

Spike looked at Buffy. He saw the other guy, now known as Mike, walking to her.

“Come on, Mike, you know what to do. Gives us something to look at, preferably her sweet titties,” the leader said.

“Oh I will, Rick. I will,” Mike answered with an evil smile. He was standing in front of Buffy now and moved to rip her shirt off.

“Get away from her, you asshole!” Spike yelled at him, trying harder to get away from Rick, but he hit him in the face.

“Shut up and enjoy the show!” Rick spat at him.

“Yeah,” Mike said. “Enjoy us fucking your girl.” He moved to Buffy again, who was looking at him with anger in her eyes. He put his hand in his pocket and revealed a knife.

“Come on, sweetheart, come to daddy,” he said, grabbing her shirt with one hand and moving the knife towards the buttons of her shirt with his other one.

“I don’t think so!” Buffy yelled before kicking him between his legs.

“AHHHH!” Mike yelled. Buffy kicked him again, this time in the stomach, and Mike fell to the ground. Buffy saw the knife that had fallen and picked it up, looking at Rick with a smile on her face. Spike and Rick were both looking at her, Rick with an afraid expression and Spike with an amazed one.

Spike used Rick’s shock to kick him, which caused him to let go of Spike. He hit him again, this time in his stomach. Then he did a roundkick at his face, and Rick fell on the ground, next to his friend. Mike was still lying on his back, his hands covering his family jewels.

Buffy and Spike moved to the other guy, who was still holding Cordelia. Cordelia was still struggling, but the man holding her was much stronger than her. The man looked at the strong couple, who were both giving him a smirk that could only be described as terrifying. He looked at his friends and then back at the couple again. He let go of Cordelia and ran away as fast as he could, not looking back.

Buffy and Spike looked at each other, laughing at the coward. Spike grabbed her head and gave her a hard kiss, and Buffy pulled back with a look full of lust.

“You really turned me on, kicking that guy’s ass,” he said with a smirk. “How did you do that?” he asked her.

Buffy smiled. “Self-defense classes. I took them after my mom and I moved to Sunnydale, just in case my dad came back,” she answered. She looked at Spike’s hard-on, which she could clearly see through his jeans. She moved her hand down and squeezed it, making Spike moan, and Buffy smirked at him. “Later, honey. We have to deal with Cordelia.” She looked at the girl who had already put on her shirt.

They walked to Cordelia, stopping in front of her. Cordelia was looking down, but she looked up when she saw them four feet in front of her.

“Thank you,” she said with a smile.

“We know about your plan,” Buffy said with a glare. “We know all about it.”

Cordelia looked at them in shock. “H...how?” she asked.

“We have our sources,” Spike answered, looking at her with disgust.

‘Angel,’ Cordelia thought to herself. She looked at the couple, who were holding hands. ‘Why would they save me if they knew what my plan was?’ she asked herself.

As if Buffy could read her mind, she said, “We’re not like you- we don’t hurt people or let them get hurt.”

Cordelia looked back down again. “I’m... I’m sorry, I just... I was just so mad about being rejected. I wasn’t thinking...” she started.

“No, you weren’t,” Spike spat at her.

“I’m sorry, I won’t hurt you anymore. Not after this...” she sighed. “I’m really sorry,” she said again before walking away.



Three weeks later, Buffy and Spike were sitting on the couch in Spike’s living room, watching tv, when they heard the door open. Giles walked in, carrying groceries in one hand and some mail in the other.

“Hi, Giles,” Buffy and Spike said.

Giles smiled at them. “Hi, kids. Oh, there’s a letter for you, for both of you.”

Buffy and Spike looked at each other. Giles gave Spike the letter, they both looked at it.

“It’s addressed to the both of us,” Spike said, confused.

“Let’s just open it.”

Dear Buffy and Spike,

You must be wondering why you got this letter. The thing is, I’m leaving Sunnydale. When you get this, I’ll probably be gone already. I told my parents about what happened, about everything that happened. About the plan that I had about you and about the attempted rape. My parents wanted to prosecute them, but I asked them not to. I don’t want to deal with it- it’s in the past... I’m moving on.

After I told my parents about everything, we all agreed that it was best that I went to an institution for people with the same problems as I have. I’ll probably be there for a while, but after that, I’ll be in San Francisco.

I just wanted to say that I’m sorry about lying to you and almost killing you. I really wish that I didn’t do it, or wasn’t planning on doing it, anyway. I hope that being in the institution will make me a better person.

You really are a great couple, and I wish you both a great life together. Again, I’m sorry for everything.

Cordelia Chase

“Wow,” Buffy said.

Spike could only nod.

“Atleast we know that we’re safe now,” she said with a small smile.

“Yeah, we’re safe,” Spike said, wrapping his arms around her.

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Chapter 22: Unexpected

Things were going really well- Buffy was officially a Sunnydale High student and had really great friends. When she was introduced to the Scooby gang, they immediately let her in. She couldn’t wish for better friends.

Willow Rosenberg was her best friend- they shared all their secrets. Willow knew about her father and Ford. Buffy was scared that she would think differently of her, but all she did was hug her and listen to her while she told her story.

She had met Xander Harris before, but they were really good friends now. She always laughed at his jokes, and he came to her when he was having trouble with his father. Things were better between him and his father now, but it still wasn’t perfect.

Then there was Anya Jenkins, Xander’s girlfriend. She liked Anya because of her bluntness- she always said what she was thinking.

And last, there was Willow’s boyfriend Daniel Osbourne, but everyone called him Oz. She didn’t really know him because he doesn’t really talk a lot, but she liked him nonetheless. He’s a good boyfriend to Willow, so he must be nice.

Angel became their friend after a while, but he transferred to a different school to be closer to his girlfriend, who was 6 months pregnant.

Things were hard at first- she was still a little scared about being around a lot of people. Other students didn’t know what to think of her, but after a while, things went better, and they accepted Buffy as any other student at Sunnydale High.

Spike had told her about the tapes that he listened to, and Buffy was okay with it, partly thankful that she didn’t have to tell that story again.

It was Wednesday, and the gang was sitting at a table during their break, just talking and laughing like friends do.

“So, a movie night on Friday, Buff?” Xander asked her, looking at her with his puppy eyes.

Buffy laughed. “Of course, Xand,” Buffy answered him. They always did a movie-night once a month at Buffy’s place, primarily there because there were no parents and it was simply the biggest house. Buffy didn’t mind at all- she loved having her friends around. They usually spent the night, too. It was a lot of fun- she wouldn’t trade it for the world. Buffy felt like a teenager again.

“Aren’t you going to eat, luv?” Spike looked at her with a face full of concern before noticing the spaghetti that was lying untouched on her plate.

Buffy shook her head. “I’m not...” she started but was interrupted when she suddenly felt sick. She stood up and ran to the bathroom.

The gang looked confused, and Spike stood up to go after her to make sure she was okay, but Willow stopped him.

“I’ll go after her- it’s probably a girl thing. Besides, you’re not allowed to go into the girls room.” She gave him a soft smile, assuring him that she would take care of her.

Willow walked towards the girls’ bathroom. She opened the door and walked inside, looking around. “Buffy? It’s me, Willow.”

She heard a small laugh. “I know it’s you, Will,” Buffy said softly.

Willow moved towards the voice. “Can I come in?” she asked her, wanting to make sure that her friend was okay. She heard Buffy open the door and walked through it before locking it again. She saw her friend sitting on the toilet, fully clothed, with her head in her hands.

“Are you okay?” Willow asked her, scared to see her friend like this. She saw Buffy shaking her head before she looked up at her, and Willow could see that she’d been crying and that her hair was messy. Willow looked closely into her eyes- it looked like she hadn’t slept in days. “Sweetie, what’s wrong?”

Buffy sighed. “I’ve been throwing up for a while now. I didn’t know why- I thought that I was just getting a cold or something. But then I realised that... that I could be...” She stopped with another sigh.

“That you could be pregnant,” Willow finished for her, knowing what her friend was trying to tell her.

Buffy nodded. “About 2 months ago, Spike and I had... ehm… you know.” She looked at Willow, who was blushing, proving that she knew what she was trying to say. “And we didn’t use protection.”

“Oh, Buffy.” Willow gave her a big hug. “Did you do a pregnancy test?”

Buffy nodded. “I got one from Giles when he was still my teacher. I did that test, and it said that I was pregnant... but Giles said that those tests weren’t always right, so I wanted to go to the doctor, but I’m scared,” she said in a whisper.

“Did you tell Spike?”

She shook her head. “I didn’t know how. Besides, I don’t want to tell him before I’m completely sure,” she explained.

“We’ll go to the doctor after school, alright?”

Buffy smiled and hugged her friend. “Thanks, Will.”


So, here they were, sitting in the waiting room. It was really hard getting there. When she had exited the girls’ bathroom, she had to convince Spike that everything was okay, and boy, that sure was hell. She had to tell him over and over that she was okay, that she was just a little tired. Then he wanted to take her home and get her into bed so that she could relax, but she wanted to go to the doctor with Willow, so she had to make an excuse for that, too. She knew she had hurt his feelings when she didn’t accept his offer to take her home, but she really needed to know if she was pregnant or not. So she kissed him and told him that she loved him before running to Willow.

She was shaken from her thought when she heard the doctor calling her name. “Buffy Summers,” the doctor called again.

She stood up, and Willow squeezed her hand to wish her good luck. She smiled back at her and followed the doctor into the room. Willow had asked her if she wanted her to come into the room, but Buffy told her no. She knew that Willow wasn’t fond of doctors- Buffy wasn’t, either.


The door opened again after about 20 minutes. She saw Buffy walk out before giving the doctor a handshake. Buffy walked to her and gave her a hug.

“How did it go?” Willow was just as nervous as her friend.

“It went fine- he said that he would call me as soon as he got the results. So I just have to wait.” She gave her friend a soft smile to assure her that she was fine.

“Let’s go home,” Willow said.


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Chapter 23: Results

The gang was watching a movie- it was a movie night, after all. They were watching ‘War of the Worlds’, a movie that Xander had picked out. Buffy and Spike were sitting on the ground, Spike with his back against the couch and Buffy with her back against him. They were sitting comfortably with Spike’s arms around her. The rest of the gang was sitting on the couch, each couple with their arms around each other.

The doctor hadn’t called Buffy yet, and Buffy got more nervous every day- the wait was killing her. Willow asked her to do the movie night another night, but Buffy said that the distraction would be good for her.

And what a distraction it was, especially when Spike was kissing her neck. Buffy moaned.

“Spike, maybe we shouldn’t,” she whispered, looking at her friends, who were watching the movie, pretending that they didn’t see what they were doing.

“They won’t notice,” Spike said with a smile before moving to kiss her neck again. He was interrupted by a blunt Anya.

“Yeah, Buffy, we won’t notice. Go back to the kissing.” She smiled at the couple, and everyone laughed. Spike just sighed, and Buffy smiled back at him before giving him a little kiss.

“Later.” She felt guilty for not telling him about her visit to the doctor, but she wasn’t sure how he would react.

Spike smiled and went back to watching the movie. Buffy was having trouble concentrating on it, though- she kept thinking about the baby, and the fact that she was very horny now wasn’t really helping. Besides that, she really needed to pee.

She grabbed the remote and paushed the movie. “It’s potty-break time for Buffy.” She smiled before walking towards the bathroom.

Just when Buffy closed the door, her home phone went off. Spike looked at his friends, not knowing if he should answer it or not. Xander shrugged.

“It’s probably just Giles,” he said. “Buffy doesn’t know a lot of people besides us.”

Spike nodded. ‘Of course it’s Giles,’ he thought to himself.

He picked up the phone, which was next to the couch, before Willow could stop him. She forgot that Buffy’s doctor would call her for the results. ‘This won’t end well.’

“Hold on, Giles,” Spike said when he picked up the phone. “I’ll put you on speaker.” He pushed the buton and sat back on the couch.

“Ehm... Buffy? Buffy Summers?” they heard a man say. “This is Dr. James Hendricks. Are you there?”

Everyone except for Willow looked confused. She sat on the couch, not saying anything- she was too nervous to speak.

“This is Sp...ehm.. William. I’m Buffy’s boyfriend. She isn’t here right now.”

“Oh, William, right. Buffy told me about you. Well, I’ve got the results back, and I’m sure I can tell you since it involves you, too,” the doctor said.

“Results?” Spike asked.

‘Oh my god, please tell me that she isn’t sick or anything,’ he thought.

“Maybe we shouldn’t...” Willow started but was interrupted when Xander shushed her.

“Yes, the ehm... pregnancy results. I have to make this quick- there’s an emergency- but the test was positive. Congratulations, William, you’re going to be a father. Please send my congratulations to Buffy,” he said before hanging up.

Everyone was quiet- they didn’t know what to say. Spike couldn’t believe the doctor’s news. ‘You’re going to be a father.’ That was all he kept hearing.

Buffy came out of the bathroom with a smile before looking at the faces of her friends.

“What’s wrong?” They looked like they had seen a ghost.

Spike stood up and walked towards her with an angry look on his face. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Buffy looked at him. “What? Tell you what?”

“Don’t act stupid, Buffy! Why?!” he yelled at her.

Buffy looked at Willow with a ‘is-he-talking-about-what-i-think-he’s-talking-about’ look, and Willow nodded. “The doctor just called- Spike put him on speaker… we thought it was Giles.”

“Oh god,” Buffy mumbled.

“Why didn’t you tell me, Buffy?!” Spike yelled at her again.

“Stop it!” Buffy yelled back. “Stop yelling at me. I don’t even… what did he say?” she asked, more calmly now.

“Positive.”

“Oh god, I’m pregnant,” Buffy mumbled to herself, walking to sit on the couch before she fell. Her friends weren’t in the room anymore- they decided to go home, knowing that the couple needed to talk.

Buffy started to cry, not knowing if they were tears of sadness or tears of happiness. Spike kneeled in front of her and took her hands in his, and she looked at him with tears rolling down her cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I didn’t want to tell you when I didn’t know for sure. I didn’t know what to do.” She looked down at their combined hands. “What are you going to do, Spike?”

He gave her a kiss on her nose. “We’re going to be parents- that’s what we are going to do.”

Buffy smiled at him. “You want this baby?” She needed to be sure.

He looked at her in surprise. “Of course I want this baby, luv! It’s a little you and me, something that we made together. You thought I wouldn’t want it?”

Buffy looked at him, seeing that he definitely looked hurt. “I didn’t know what to think. This is kind of new to me, too, you know. I’ve read these stories where the guy goes away when he finds out that his girlfriend is pregnant.”

He grabbed her face to make her look at him. “Buffy, I am never going to leave you or this baby. Alright?” He needed to make her understand that. He put his hand on her stomach.

‘Our baby is in there.’

Buffy nodded before moving her head down and kissing him. Spike moaned and picked her up, and Buffy kept kissing him, grinding against his body.

She pulled back long enough to whisper her need to him. “Please, Spike- bedroom.”

They kissed again, Buffy softly nibbling on his lip. Spike walked up the stairs to her bedroom. They parted and pulled their clothes off, needing each other more then anything. After they were both undressed, Spike picked her up and laid her down on the bed. He kissed her again, trailing soft kisses down her neck to her breasts. He suckled hard on her nipples, making her cry out in pleasure.

“Ughh...God, you’re so good at this,” Buffy panted.

Before Spike could get any lower, Buff flipped them over so she was on top. Spike looked at her with a surprised look, and
she smiled at him. “The rules have changed now, lover,” she said before moving down his body. Licking his nipples, making him gasp in need, she smiled and bit his nipples roughly.

“Fuck!” he shouted, moving his body to grind his erection against her wet center. “Please, luv, I need to be inside of you,” he whispered. “This won’t hurt the baby, right?”

She smiled. “No, it won’t hurt the baby. Besides, it’s still so small.” She kissed him passionately. “I need you inside of me, baby,” she said before sinking down on his cock, taking him all the way in. “Ugh! So good, always so fucking good,” she moaned.

“Fuck, baby! You’re so fucking tight!”

Buffy moved on top of him, resting her hands on his chest. She moved up and down, taking him deeper and deeper inside of her.

“Harder, luv. Ride me harder, baby,” Spike pleaded, needing a release.

Buffy complied and moved harder up and down, fucking herself on his cock.

“Fuck, so deep!” she yelled. Her pussy ached from the aggressive pounding, but she loved it. Spike grabbed her hips and pushed her even harder against him.

Buffy came hard when Spike flicked her clit, screaming her release. Her muscles clenched around him, and he kept thrusting inside her before spilling his seed into her. Buffy had fallen against him with her head on his chest.

“We’re going to be great parents,” Spike said to her, kissing her on the top of her head.

“Yeah,” Buffy agreed. They soon fell asleep, Buffy lying on top of him and with him still buried deep inside of her.


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~ Chapter 24: Where Are You Now (Epilogue)

The gang, including Giles, was sitting round the table in the library. They had told Giles, and surprisingly, he wasn’t mad about it. He wasn’t completely thrilled, either, of course, but he had congratulated the couple and promised to help them if they needed him. He still wasn’t sure how they were going to manage because they were still so young, but he had faith in them. He was actually excited when he finally realized that he was going to be a grandfather.

Nobody in Sunnydale High knew that Buffy was pregnant yet, only the gang and Giles. She wasn’t really showing, and school would end in less than two months. Buffy and Spike wanted everyone to know but not when they were still in high school- they wanted to graduate first.

Buffy was sitting on Spike’s lap with his arms wrapped around her. His hands were resting on her stomach, which had a slight bump. They were just talking and having fun- it was after school, so they didn’t have to be quiet. They didn’t notice the door opening or the man walking in. Giles was the first to notice the man looking at them with a strange expression on his face.

“Can we help you, sir?” Giles asked him.

“I’m here for Elizabeth.” He hadn’t taken his eyes off of Buffy.

The whole table went quiet. Everyone looked at the man standing in front of them before looking at Buffy, who was looking at the strange man with a scared look on her face. Buffy moved her arms tighter around Spike, who in return pushed her more against him, trying to keep her and the baby safe from the man who she was obviously afraid of.

“Kitten, who is that?” Spike whispered softly into her ear.

She didn’t look at him- she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the man standing in front of her.

“What do you want?” She finally found her voice when she realized that she was safe with her friends and boyfriend.

“I want to talk to you.”

“Like hell.” She really didn’t want to talk to him. Her friends were intently watching the exchange- they didn’t know what to do. Willow was standing behind her boyfriend, feeling that something big was about to happen. Anya didn’t know why everyone was suddenly so quiet and wanted to say something but was stopped when Xander put a hand over her mouth.

“Elizabeth, I…” the man started but was interrupted when an angry Buffy stood up and started yelling at him.

“My name is Buffy! There are only a few people who have the right to call me Elizabeth, and you’re not one of them!” she yelled, looking at him with an angry glare.

“Please, Eli…Buffy. I’ve changed- I’m not like I was before,” he tried to convince her, but it wasn’t working.

Spike had a pretty good idea who the man was, so he stood up, standing beside his girl to protect her if necessary. He didn’t want the man around her or his baby.

“Someone like you can’t change.”

“A lot has happened since you last saw me. I… I lost my job… I lost everything. I have no place to live,” he ended in a whisper, looking at her with a sad look on his face.

“Welcome to my world.” Buffy couldn’t stop the bitterness in her voice when she said that.

“I’m still your father, Buffy. Doesn’t that mean something, doesn’t family mean something to you?” he asked her.

“My family means a lot to me.” She put her hand on her stomach and looked behind her. The table was empty- everyone had moved behind her to protect her when they heard who he was. Buffy smiled. “These people are my family, and I would do anything for them. But you’re not family- you lost that right when you first laid a hand on me,” she told him, not feeling sorry for him at all.

“Don’t you care about me?”

“Like you cared about me? Like you cared about mom?” She fought to keep the tears inside.

‘He isn’t worth it enough to cry,’ she thought to herself.

“What about me?” He looked at her with innocent eyes. “What am I supposed to do?”

“You could die, for all I care. You’re already dead to me,” she answered.

Her father looked at her and then at her friends, who were standing behind her, looking at him like he was dirt. They would obviously do anything to protect her. He wasn’t going to start something with so many people around, so he gave Buffy a brief nod before walking out of the library.

Buffy turned to her friends.

“Thanks, guys,” she said with a small smile. Before she knew what happened, she was involved in a big Scooby-hug. She smiled to herself.

‘This is my family.’



People were clapping until Danny Jameson left the stage.
The bartender, also known as Bert, entered the stage. He walked towards the microphone and smiled at the audience. It was a busy night. It always was on ‘open-stage night’- everyone who wanted to sing could come up the stage. It was the most popular day of the month.

He coughed to get attention. “Well, that certainly was a great song from Danny Jameson. And boy was he hot!” he yelled through the microphone, which made all the girls in the audience yell and shout. “Alright, alright. He was great, but there’s someone else waiting for a chance to come up and sing tonight- my dear friend Buffy Summers, ladies and gentlemen! Give her a round of applause!”

Everyone clapped when Buffy entered the stage. She gave them a shy smile and walked to the microphone. Giles asked her to sing tonight, knowing that it would do her good, and she agreed. Singing made her feel free, and that was exactly what she needed right now.

”Hi, everyone.” She looked at all the people in the audience, and she saw Spike looking at her with a smile on his face before giving her a wink. She smiled- she had dressed for him tonight. She was wearing a strappy red dress that exposed a lot of cleavage. It was classy, but not slutty. “I’m going to sing a song called ‘Where are you now’- I wrote it myself.”

She didn’t notice that her father had slipped into the Bronze and was walking towards her friends.

“Hello,” he said to them, hoping that they would be his way to his daughter.

They all looked at him with murderous glares.

‘I guess not,’ he thought.

“You get the hell away from us, from Buffy!” Spike moved towards him to kick him out, if necessary, but his uncle stopped him.

“What do you want from Buffy?” Giles asked the man standing next to him.

“Money,” he smiled. “Joyce put some money aside for her. She will get it when she’s eighteen, and that’s in a couple of months. If I’m correct, it’s about a million dollars, and I want it.” He gave them an evil smirk.

The gang gasped, not believing that Buffy would get that amount of money from her mother.

“You’ll never get the money, so leave and don’t come back,” Giles threatened him.

“Look, she may have told me that she doesn’t care what happens to me, but she needs me. I’m still her father- she’s lost without me.” He smirked at them.

‘That bitch can’t live without me. I’ll make her give me that money before dumping her on the streets.’

“Really?” Giles looked at him. “Why don’t you listen to your daughter, then?” He pointed at Buffy on the stage, who was just beginning to sing her song.

As I look back on things you have said in the past
I hear you talking, trying to make me understand
That you’re better than me, that you’re stronger and wiser
It made me think that you must have been out of your head
But now I know that you really don’t know who I am

I am better, I’m stronger, I’m wiser and I am flying

I’ve got everything I want, everything I need
After all those times you’ve tried
To push me in the ground
Trying to pull me down
Where are you now?
Where are you now?

She looked at her friends, who were sitting at the table, looking at her. She didn’t notice her father because he was standing in the shadows.

You thought I’d be lost now
Without you to hold onto my hand
But you’re mistaken
I finally know who I am.

I am better, I’m stronger, I know what I want
I’m wiser, I’m smarter, I know how to get there, I’m flying.

I’ve got everything I want, everything I need
After all those times you’ve tried
To push me in the ground
Trying to pull me down
Where are you now?

Everything I want, everything I need
After all those times you’ve tried
To push me in the ground
Try to pull me down
Where are you now?
Where are you now?

You’re mistaken
I finally know who I am

She closed her eyes again, singing with every emotion that she had. She thought of her friends, of Giles, of Spike, and of her unborn baby. They were everything that she would ever need.

I’m everything I want, everything I need
After all those times you’ve tried
To push me in the ground
Trying to pull me down
Where are you now?

I’ve got everything I want, everything I need
After all those times you’ve tried
To push me in the ground
Trying to pull me down
Where are you now?
Where are you now?

Everyone was clapping when she stopped singing. She smiled at the audience before quickly moving off the stage to go to her friends.

Everyone at the table was looking at Buffy’s father.

“I guess she doesn’t need you as much as you think she does.” Giles grinned at him.

Hank looked down.

“It would be best if you left.”

Buffy came to the table and sat down on Spike’s lap.

“Hi, guys,” she said with a big smile, not noticing that her father was standing next to Giles.

“Hi, Buffy” the gang replied.

“You were great up there.” Willow smiled, which was confirmed with nods from Xander and Anya. Oz had heard her sing that song many times- he was the one who had made the background music with his guitar. Buffy smiled back at her friends.

“They’re right, luv. You were amazing. You are amazing.” Spike smiled at her, looking at her with pride on his face.

‘God, I’m so proud of her. She’s changed a lot in the last couple of months.’ She smiled at him, not noticing that her father was looking at them with a disgusted expression on his face.

She looked at Giles with a smile, but that smile disappeared when she saw her father standing next to him.

“Get out.” She glared at him. “You’re not welcome here.”

“Now listen to me, young lady. You’re still not eighteen- I could go to social services and get legal custody of you. And life would be just like it was before you and your mother moved to Sunnydale.” He grinned at her.

Spike was about to comment, but Buffy stopped him. She needed to deal with him on her own.

“Yeah, you can try that. But I don’t think that they’ll give you custody of me, seeing that you don’t have a job and don’t have a place to live,” she said, standing up, determined to not let her father win.

“That may be so,” he said after a while. “But what are you going to do without me? Every child needs its parents.”

“I’m not a child anymore. I was forced to grow up a lot in these past years. And I do have a parent.” She gave Giles a soft smile. “He’s more of a father than you could ever be.”

“You’ll still be leaving with me! Social services won’t allow a child to be without its father.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” She grinned at him. “Every child needs its father.” She moved to sit on Spike’s lap again, wrapping her arms around his neck. “That’s why I can’t leave, even if I wanted to. I won’t let my baby grow up without its father.” She moved her hands to her stomach.

Hank looked at her hands, stunned. “You’re pregn… pregnant?”

Buffy smiled. “Yes, I am.” Spike smiled, too, and kissed her bare shoulder.

Before Hank had a chance to say something, Buffy stopped him by continuing what she wanted to say.

“So trust me, Hank, I don’t need you. I’ve got everyone I need sitting right here at the table.” She looked at her friends, who were looking at her with pride in their eyes. “Now leave.” She looked at her father. “Before I let Bert kick you out,” she said, referring to the man standing next to her father.

Hank looked at the man beside him, then at his daughter. “No, I need that money. You’ll never make it without me, bitch,” he said with a grin, and Bert grabbed him by his arm. “Fine, have a nice life, you slut,” he said to her with a smile.

Bert dragged him to the door of the Bronze and kicked him out. “If you ever come near her again, I will make you regret it. Buffy has a lot of friends here that will do anything to keep her safe.” He grinned at him before walking back in the Bronze.


“Are you okay, Buffy?” Willow looked at her with concern.

“Yeah,” she assured her best friend. “I’m glad that I got the chance to deal with him so I can move on. I don’t need him in my life- I’ve got you guys.” She smiled at them, receiving big smiles. “And I’ve got the man that I love,” she said before turning back to Spike and kissing him with passion. They pulled back after a while with big grins on their faces. “And I’m going to have a baby. That’s everything that I need.”

Spike hugged her. “I’m going to be a better father, Buffy, I promise,” he told her.

“I know.” She smiled at him.

Their friends were looking at them with smiles on their faces, happy that their friend was finally at peace.




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