Disclaimer: do you really think any of it's mine? i mean, do i look like Joss
Whedon?
**************************************************************
Buffy walked through the Bronze as the new band Maroon 5 performed their newest
song 'She will be loved'. She spotted Willow, who was frantically waving her
over.
"Hey, Wills. What's going on?" Buffy asked as she sat down.
Willow fidgeted in her seat. "Uh...well, Tara and I wanted to know.....why you
and Spike haven't been of the friendlies as of late."
Buffy stiffened at the mention of the bleached blond. "I don't know what you're
talking about."
Willow's resolve face came forward. "Yes. Yes you do. You've been all avoidy of
him. Buffy, he loves you. He proved that the day you..." Willow trailed off, as
to not upset Buffy.
"Died?" Willow nodded uncomfortably. "Wills, it's ok. I forgive you. But...what
do you mean, 'he proved it'?"
"Buffy, the day you died, he was devastated. Actually, I think devastated is an
understatement..."
***
* Flash back*
Spike look up from where he lay, bruised and bloody, on the ground. The sight
that welcomed him, shook him to the core.
Buffy.
Lying there.
Where was her vibrance? Where was the spark that shone in her eyes? Where was
the warmth that he felt radiating off of her when she was around?
Dead.
"No."
Everyone looked over to the vampire, who was sobbing into his hands. "No, no,
no, no, no no no NO!" he yelled.
They watched as he crawled on his hands and knees to the Slayer's broken body.
They watched as the equally broken vampire picked up her head and put it in his
lap. They heard his whispered words.
"Please....luv...open your eyes....don't do this....I-I'll do anything if you
just open your beautiful eyes....throw myself on a bloody stake I will, if you
just come back....you weren't supposed to do this.......you and I were supposed
to get a chance.....I was supposed to watch you grow old...." He choked back a
sob. "Don't do this....I love you..."
They watched as the former Master Vampire, Slayer of Slayers, William the
Bloody, broke down and cried for the woman he loved, but was sworn against.
The woman who would never know of his love again.
*End flashback*
***
"Oh god," Buffy whispered, tears threatening to spill over her eyes.
"Yeah," Willow agreed somberly. "And that wasn't even the worst part..."
***
*Flashback*
Willow knocked softly on the vampire's door. "Spike?" she called out. "I-I
brought you some blood..." When she didn't recieve an answer, she pushed the
door to the crypt open. "Spike?" She sighed, and made her way downstairs,
preparing herself for the sight of a broken man.
And broken he was.
She had never seen him so pale. So tired looking. So lost. She knocked on the
wall. Spike lifted his head up, delusion shining in his eyes. She had obvisously
disturbed a dream. "Buffy?" he asked in a choked voice.
"No. It's Red," she said, her heart breaking for the man as his face crumbled,
his delusions shattered. "We were getting worried. Even Xander. He suggested we
bring you some blood."
"Don't want blood," grumbled Spike. "Want Buffy. Want her back so bloody
much..."
"Spike, I know you loved her...it's been a month. You need to eat--"
"Can I go greet the sunshine?" Spike interrupted.
Willow closed her eyes and sighed. "Spike, she wouldn't want you to do that. She
needs you to keep your promise. She needs you to protect Dawn. Live.
For her."
*End Flashback*
****************************************************
Chapter 2
A/N--> Just so ya know, present time thingies are in normal font, and the things
that happened after Buffy jumped and landed in a giant swirling vortex of doom
thingy is in italics. ENJOY!!!
***
"Live. For her." Willow said, unknowingly repeating the last words of her
best friend. Spike looked up from his hands, his eyes swollen and red from the
silent crying he'd been doing.
"I know I have to live without her....I just don't know if i can. Willow, she
was my everything. My sunshine. My love. My vibrant golden goddess. My kind
hearted Slayer. She was the most beautiful, wonderful woman I know. And now
she's gone. Do you know how many times I've almost walked out of this crypt at
high noon? Do you know how many times i just wish this would end? Red, I'm not
in love with her to get into her pants. I'm just....in love with her. Who
she i...was. I'm not going to be good enough for her am I? Ever."
"Spike. You think you're the only one this has affected? We all knew her longer
than you. Dawn really only just met her as her sister and then she lost her. She
can't afford to lose her big brother. She needs you," Willow took a deep breath,
going for the low blow. "Buffy would want you to."
***
"And then what?" Buffy asked as she sipped her soda.
"It got slightly better. We thought he'd been making progress. We managed to get
him to come over, and he of all people lecture Dawn on how she needed to get out
of the house, and how you would want her to live life as normally as possible.
Kinda funny, really. But then one night, Xander saw something he'll never
forget..."
***
"Hey luv," Spike said as he sat next to the gravestone. "How you doing?" As
though he'd heard an answer, he went, "Good? That's great. Hey, guess what? I
took nibblet to see a movie earlier. Fell asleep during the opening credits, but
it was a bloody chick flick, can you blame me?" he chuckled. "Oh, about five
minutes ago, I took on this whole hord of vamps. Pathetic wankers. They didn't
know who i was. Blow to me ego." Spike grew serious, and he traced her name with
his fingers. "You wouldn't have had to jump. This is all my fault. If I had done
a better job of protecting the Bit, you'd be here....l-laughing, and smiling,
and threatening me....but you aren't. And it's all my fault. Should've
been....faster, more quicker you know? I save you. Every night, i save you." He
kissed the cold granite, and stood up, walking towards his crypt. He never took
notice of Xander Harris who had heard the whole thing from his spot in the
trees.
***
"He said all that?" Willow asked, disbelievingly as Xander told her what he'd
just heard. "B-but I thought he was doing better! That's it, Xander. It's been
almost 5 months now. We've got to do something before he kills himself."
Willow's eyes seemed to light up as she thought of something. "Xander....we can
bring her back!"
***
"So you see, that's the reason we didn't tell Spike. If we failed, we knew he'd
be devastated, and he'd go say hello to Mr. Sunshine. We didn't want him to get
hurt. Spike's been a good guy all summer. He's been there for Dawn more than we
have. Don't get me wrrong, we were there, but he was *there*. He just....was
broken. He needed fixing."
Buffy let all the information sink in as she finished her drink. Time to pay
someone a visit.
******************************************************************************************
Chapter 3:
*************************************************************************************
Buffy POV
Have you ever taken something for granted? Like, your grandma bought you this
hideous sweater, like the kind Bill Cosby wore on 'The Cosby Show', and you
never called to say 'thanks' even though you didn't mean it? And then she dies a
couple days later, and you realize that she died not knowing that even though
the sweater is disgusting and in some sense of the word 'evil', you still loved
it because it was something she gave to you?
That's what Spike is to me.
Not a dead grandma, cuz that would be kinda....creepy. No, Spike's that sweater
that I thought I would hate forever, but then something happens, and it makes me
realize....how much I should cherish......care for....and maybe, someday, love
him. He was my ugly sweater. An ugly sweater with an amazing body, stormy blue
eyes....washboard abs....delicately carved cheekbones....
Getting ahead of myself. Point is, I shouldn't ever have taken him for granted.
So now, I'm wallking to his crypt. Because I learned what an emotional wreck he
was after I died.
Me.
His sworn enemy.
Well, until he fell in love with me. Gotta tell ya, it kinda freaked me out at
first...but I think I'm accepting it.
Damn. At his door. Breathe. Deep breath. I'm going in.
Any second now.
Any minute.
I'm going.....in the door.
I just.....have to.....push it open.
Which I'm doing....right....now.
Aaaaaaaaaaany second now.....
***
Spike POV
Have you ever been taken for granted? Like you were some rag of a thing, tossed
aside cos someone doesn't think you're good enough? And then something
happens...like....I don't bloody know. Maybe you accidentely burn all of your
other rags. Send them away. And then the person who did the sending....realizes
that they need you after all.
That's what I'm hoping against hope is going to happen with Buffy and me.
She'll realize what a mistake she made, and she'll come crawling back.
She better.
Or I'll be doing the crawling.
Damn.
*****************************************************************************************
****************************************************************************
Chapter 4
Buffy POV
Ok, I know that I just used this whole 'sweater' analogy thing as a way of
saying I take Spike for granted. But I thought of something.
Sweater. You use 'em, then lose 'em.
Don't want that to happen with me and Spike.
So now, he is the hideous stuffed animal that grammy gave me and then she died
and now I love him more than anything and---
Holy shit.
I.
Love.
Spike.
I love Spike. I love Spike. I love Spike!!!
Changed my mind.
He's the most adorable, sweet, caring teddy bear there ever was.
Now if you excuse me, I've got some cuddlin' to do.
***
A/N--> I think that's the last ever POV i'm gonna do. i don't like them very
much (at least, when I write them)
back to the story....
***
*knock knock*
*Well this is a suprise* Spike thought to himself. *No one ever knocks. Normally
comes barging right in.*
He opened the door, only to be greeted with the sight of a shivering Slayer.
"H-Hi," she said. "C-Can I come in?"
He snapped out of his daze. "Oh, uh...yeah. Come on in."
She smiled in gratitude. "Thanks."
"No problem, luv. What are you doing here?"
She shifted around on her feet. "Uh...actually, I....I wanted to apoligize...for
how I acted that morning....and--"
He cut her off. "No, it's perfectly understandable. I'm too horrid to be in your
glorious presence, aren't I? I'm just a vamp you can use, and then lose." He
watched as the twinge of hurt he had seen in her eyes grew and grew. He hated
himself for making her hurt, but he needed to hurt her like she had hurt him.
"You know what? You can't just come crawling back to me. Get out."
"Spike...."
"I don't want to hear it, Slayer. Just...just go."
Tears flooded her eyesight and she ran.
She didn't stop running for a while.
And when she did stop....
she was in the middle of the road.
There was the front bumper of a car, tires squealing, her screaming.....
then everything went black.
************************************************************************************************************
*******************************************
Chapter 5
Spike POV
I heard her leave.
I heard her crying.
I heard the car.
I heard her scream.
I felt myself run.
Taken for granted. That's how she left. Thinking....that I didn't love her. God,
if I hadn't opened my bloody fucking mouth.....if I hadn't said those hurtful
things to her...........she wouldn't have had to run...
And I wouldn't be in the middle of the street.
By the time I had gotten to her, she was bleeding profusely. From her head. And
he wrist. I managed to suck the blood off, and use the healing properties in my
saliva to seal up the wound on her wrist. But she wouldn't wake up.
"Please, luv," I begged. "Please! J-Just wake up! You can't do this to me again!
I love you Buffy....don't you dare die on me........I don't want to go the rest
of my time without you......"
It was right then that it clicked in my brain that I should get her to a
hospital.
Hospital.
Blood loss.
Right. I knew that.
I ran. I ran so fast and bloody hard i didn't think I'd be able to stop. I also
didn't think that I would make it in time. Her pulse was slowing.......quickly.
I pushed the doors open with one swift kick. "Oi!" I shouted. "My girlfriend's
been hit by a bloody car!! i need some help here!" A bunch of hospital personnal
came rushing towards me. One asked, "What happened?'' I guess i gave her a harsh
look or something, because she cringed and said, "A-Accident. Right."
God, sometimes I don't even know that I look ready to kill someone.
But this time....the person I wanted to kill the most.........
......was me.
****
Willow POV
I was sitting in the kitchen with Tara. We were talking about how I was trying
to keep away from the magic, and whether or not we had another chance when we
got the phone call.
I don't think I've ever heard Spike so scared before.
"RED!" he yelled at me.
"Spike? Spike, what's wrong?"
"Buffy.........car.........crypt......hit...............hospital.......all my
bloody goddamn fault!"
That was all I could get out of him at first. I think he was too hysterical to
talk.
"Spike," I said urgently. "Why is Buffy in the hospital?" I saw Tara look over
in surprise and concern. "What happened?"
"I-I said something to her.....and she.......she ran out into the middle of the
road and......and......" He made this weird choking noise, like the kind when
you drink something and then try to talk at the same time, only you start to
cough really hard? Yeah, that's what it sounded like to me.
"Spike. Stay there with her. Tara, me and the rest of the Scoobies will be there
soon.....hang on."
******
Xander POV
Anya and I were busy arguing over seating arrangements--she wanted to sit her
cousin, a Gorloch Demon, with my drunk father at table 4, which was so not a
good idea---when we go the call.
"Hello?"
"..."
"Spike. To what do I owe this displeas--"
"....."
"Whoa. Calm down. What happened?"
"......."
"Spike, seriously. Just say it already."
I felt my face go pale when I heard him say those six words:
There's been an accident.
With Buffy.
****
Spike paced the halls. Up. Down. Up. Down.
What the hell was taking them so long?
The scoobies had gotten there 30 minutes ago. Dawn had cried, but she had
comforted Spike. She knew how much he loved her sister. How far he would go to
keep her safe.
Spike saw the docter coming down the hall and ran towards him.
"Buffy! Is she ok? Where is she? Can I see her?"
The docter looked Spike over, concluding that this must be the young lady's
boyfriend. "Relax sir. Your girlfriend is just fine. Except........there was a
minot complication when he performed the surgery. Your girlfriend constantly was
slipping in and out of consciousness. I'm afraid she's slipped even furher than
we thought she would. I'm sorry, but she's in a coma. We think that it is only a
short term coma. But that is only our assumption. But we don't think that she'll
be out for very long. But there's no need to worry. When she wakes up, she and
the baby will be just fine."
Spike almost breathed a sigh of relief, when it hit all the scoobies at the same
time.
"BABY?!"
**************************************************************************
************************************************************************
chapter 6
I don't know if I've ever been this scared. I mean, I was scared shitless before
when I thought it was just Buffy....but now.....it's Buffy and my child.
My child.
I know it's mine. Buffy isn't the type of person who would go for another one
night stand like she did with that bloody ponce of a bastard Parker. She
wouldn't rebound quite like that.
But I want to know how.
I mean, I'm supposed to have dead seed. Dead. Opposite of life.
But then, I'm not your average vamp. I fell in love with the Slayer after she
and I got engaged....and then she dated Captain Cardboard. I helped her find out
about her boyfriend's dirty secret so that she wouldn't get hurt by it, and then
I chained her up next to my ex and threatened to kill her if she didn't admit
that there was something between us. And then she died....and so did I. But she
came back...and then three months later, I slept with her. And now she's with my
child. And they are both fighting for life. And it's all my fault.
Damn it.
I'm not going to lose her.
She's my whole bloody world.
And if she dies......then bring on the apocalypse.
Because then there's no reason for living.
***
Dawn POV
I'm at a hospital.
Where my sister and her unborn baby are in a coma.
Fighting for their life.
I don't give a damn what the doctor says. He doesn't know anything. Buffy may
not come back out.
That's what's going through my mind. And I'm pretty sure it's going through
Spike's mind too.
He loves her more than anything.
And he can't lose her.
Neither can I....but this is the father of her child. The father of my neice of
nephew.....and I don't know if Buffy even knows it.
*************
1 day later
The docter walked out of the double doors and approached the family and friends
of the poor comatose pregnant girl. She was getting better bit by bit, but it
would be a little while longer until she woke up.
"Doc?" asked Spike, getting to his feet. "H-How is she?"
"She's recovering bit by little bit. It may be another week or two until she
wakes, but we're keeping our fingers crossed. Would any of you like to see her?"
Everyone looked at Spike, giving him silent permission to see the woman who they
knew, no matter how grudgingly, *cough* XANDER *cough*, was carrying Spike's
child.
***
Spike had faced many dangers in his existence. He had caused millions if not
thousands of deaths, and had shed more blood than you could even fathom.
But all these greusome sights....
...couldn't prepare him for what he saw when he walked through those doors and
into her room.
*******************************************************
Chapter 7:
********************************************************
Think about the worst thing you've ever seen.
September 11th, 2001.
Someone being hit by a car.
A bear ripping out a deers throat.
Blood.
Think about how Spike must have felt when he walked through those double doors.
Horrified.
She lay there, so still that if it weren't for the steady beeping of the machine
or the slight rise and fall of her chest, Spike might not have known she was
alive. She was amazingly pale, and she seemed so tiny against the mattress. He
gulped, and walked over to her.
Sitting down in the chair next to hers, he took her hand.
Cold.
This wasn't right . . . Buffy was supposed to be full of life. Warm,
vibrant...his golden goddess. But the feel of her cold hands against his sent
shivers up his spine. But not from the temperature of the hands. Oh no...but
from what it normally means when bodies are this cold.
"Hey, luv," he said, in a strangled voice. " 'S Spike...I'm so sorry.." He
allowed a single tear to mark itself along his face. "If I hadn't of gone off at
you like that......you wouldn't be here.....you'd be talking with Red, Bit,
Glinda, Demon Girl, and The Whelp...not lying in a hospital fighting for your
life.....and our baby's." Silent tears fell down his face, but he took no notice
as he placed his hand on her stomach, where he could hear the faintest *whoosh,
whoosh, whoosh* of the baby's heartbeat. "Were you going to tell me?" He grew
silent for a moment before he whispered, "Did you even know?"
Sobs made their way up his throat. "Buffy...you've got to wake up,
luv......there's no reason for you not to.....I love you......please, god,
please!! Wake up! Fight this thing and wake up!"
* * *
Somewhere deep inside Buffy's mind
Darkness.
No matter where she runs, it's always there.
I'm standing on the bridge
I'm waiting in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening, but there's no sound
Why isn't anyone there for her? Where's her light? Her reason for going back?
Isn't anyone trying to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying figure out this life
Won't you, take me by the hand, take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are but I, I'm with you
I'm with you
Buffy ran and ran, trying to find a way to get out. She saw a flash of something
to her left and turned. There were two children there. One boy and one girl.
"Hello mother," they said in unison.
I'm looking for a place
I'm searching for a face
Is anybody here I know
Cos nothing's going right and
Everythings a mess
And no-one like's to be alone
Buffy's features softened. "I'm sorry, what?"
"Mother," replied the girl. "We are your children yet to come. My name is Audrey
Anne..."
"...and mine is William Matthew," said the boy. The two pairs of peircing blue
eyes were pinned on her.
"Our father needs you."
Isn't anyone trying to find me?
Won't somebody take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you, take me by the hand, take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are but I, I'm with you
I'm with you
Oh, why is everything so confusing
Maybe i'm just out of my mind
Yeah Yeah Yeah
Yeah Yeah
Yeah Yeah
Yeah Yeah
Yeah
"Spike?" she whispered. The twins nodded.
"William waits. He cries. He begs. You need to go to him. Keep running, mother.
Run towards the blue light. And you'll be home."
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you, take me by the hand, take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are but I, I'm with you
I'm with you
Take me by the hand, take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are but I, I'm with you
I'm with you
Take me by the hand, take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are but I, I'm with you
I'm with you
I'm with you.
"Thank you," she whispered, and her children disappeared. Off to her right, she
saw a flash of blue. Knowing this was her way to get back to the man she loves,
Buffy ran.
Ran harder than she ever had before, until she was engulfed by the blue.
As soon as she was inside, she was struck with a sense of perfect clarity about
things. It was like she was....
* * *
At the hospital
...opening her eyes. She shut them quickly before her eyes were burned from the
lights. The docters swarmed around her, whispering to each other about the
miracle that she was awake.
"Miss?" one said. "Miss, can you say anything?"
Buffy's mouth opened, and she said hoarsley, "William..."
*******************************************
Chapter 8:
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
"William..."
The doctor looked up at the nurse, and said, "Go into the waiting room. Find out
from the family and friends who William is while we run some tests."
The nurse nodded, and walked out the double doors.
***
Spike looked up as the nurse approached them. She looked at the Scoobies, and
said, "Which one of you is William?"
Spike raised his hand, and the nurse pointed to him. "You come with me."
"Why?"
"She's awake."
***
Spike made it to the room in 5 seconds flat. When he saw her smiling at him, her
hand on her abdomen, he rushed towards her side. Covering her face in small,
desperate kisses, he whispered, "Thought I'd lost you," and buried his face in
the crook of her neck.
***
I hate you, I love you
I just can't remember to forget you
Who are you, who needs you?
You make me feel alive, I die, so high
I'm crawling on the ground
I have found I can fly
***
Soothing him as she felt tears moisten her neck, she cooed, "Shh....it's ok,
baby.....it's all right..."
***
One of these days it all comes together
One of those days that goes on forever
Think I sound crazy? Maybe, whatever
What's it all about?
***
Lifting his head, he said, "No, it's not. I shouldn't have said those things to
you..."
"Spike," she said firmly. "Don't beat yourself up. I've been....horrible to you
these past couple weeks. It was only nautral for you to assume that I was there
to beat you up. I'm sorry."
Kissing her forehead, he said, "It's ok, luv." He glanced at the hand on her
abdomen. "I'm guessing you know?"
She nodded. "They came to me in a dream."
"Wait, 'they'?"
***
It's about life, it's about fun
It's over before it has begun
It's about you, it's about me
It's about everything between and I say
I'm saying goodbye to you, I say hi to you with no clue
It's about time that I
Make up my mind
***
"Yes. They. We're having twins. A boy and a girl. How'd you find out?"
"Oh. Uh....when we brought you in, they said you and the um.....uh, baby were
going to be fine and I'm sorry, I'm still stuck on the 'they' part."
***
It's simple, confusing, the truth is I'm winning but I'm losing
And pulling and pushing, won't do me any good
It could, it should
I'm honest to myself that the truth is I lied
***
She giggled, and said, "Well, you better be! Now I have to go through nine
months of sore feet. All because a vampire knocked me up." A grin broke out on
her face, and she whispered, "And I'm so happy about it."
***
One of these days it all comes together
One of those days that goes on forever
Think I sound crazy? Maybe, whatever
What's it all about?
***
She squealed as she nuzzled into her neck, "Spike! That tickles!" He began to
press feathery light kisses on her face, his hands tickling her sides. "Spike,"
she laughed. "Stop...."
***
It's about life, it's about fun
It's over before it has begun
It's about you, it's about me
It's about everything between and I say
I'm saying goodbye to you, I say hi to you with no clue
It's about time that I
Make up my mind
***
His lips met hers, and they kissed for a few desperate, heated minutes before
they were startled by a throat being cleared. Xander stood in the doorway,
eyebrow raised at the two. "Sorry to interrupt....actually, I'm not, but that's
besides the point. There are other people who want to see Buffy, y'know."
Both blondes rolled their eyes, and the rest of the Scoobies filed in.
They sat there for a few hours, talking and laughing until the nurse came along
and kicked everone but Dawn and Spike out.
Looking at him a few hours later as he slumbered on her chest, she decided,
'Tomorrow. Tomorrow, I'll tell him that I love him.'
***
It's about life, it's about fun
It's over before it has begun
It's about you, it's about me
It's about everything between and I say
I'm saying goodbye to you, I say hi to you with no clue
It's about time that I
Make up my mind
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Chapter 9:
__________________________________________________________________
“Sweetie…”
“Yes, baby?”
“This is SERIOUSLY enough pillows.”
“No it’s not.”
“Yeah…yeah, it kind of IS.”
“NO! There’s only 10!”
“…”
“What?!”
“I thank you for proving my point. Thank you.”
“Ha bleeding ha. Now, let me just put one more on, and-”
“No.”
“Just ONE more, luv, right there-”
“No!”
“But-”
“Enough with the pillows!”
“But…but it’s a Mogu!”
“A Mog…a WHAT-gu?”
“Mogu!”
“And this means…what?”
“Just…just bloody feel it.”
“OOOH! Me likey Mogu! It’s much with the cushy, mushy softness.”
“I know. But…you said no more pillows, so…”
“Touch the Mogu and you die.”
“Right. Backing away.”
*~::~*
Spike watched as Buffy slept, a smile on her face and her hand on her belly. It
had been a month since she’d come home from the hospital and he STILL treated
her like she was porcelain.
He was utterly, completely, and undoubtedly whipped.
And he loved it.
Loved her.
He sat on the bed and smoothed back her hair, lowering his hand to cup her
cheek. She nuzzled into his hand and sighed. “Spike…”
“Right here, lovely.”
“Mmm…”
“What, kitten?”
“Love you…so much…”
He smiled. He remembered the first time she’d said those words to him.
He had been pampering more than usual, as it had been her first night back from
the hospital and she had been slightly hopped up on medications (that WERE safe
for her during her pregnancy). She had smiled as he fussed and had begun
babbling about how a loaf of bread was made up of lots and lots of crumbs. He
had merely smiled at her, trying hard not to laugh.
And right before she’d fallen asleep, she’s murmured, “Here’s…bread…Love you,
Spike…”
He had almost fallen over when he’d heard her say that. His own demented way of
telling her of his feelings came rushing back…
“Just give me something…a crumb…the barest smidgen…”
And she’d given him the whole damn loaf.
Now, he kissed her forehead and whispered, “I know. Love you, too, sweetheart.”
She rolled around in her bed and snuggled into the covers. He smiled and headed
downstairs to make some blood for himself.
As the door behind him shut, Buffy opened one eye and smiled. Sighing
contentedly, she burrowed deeper into the bed, waiting for her lover to come
upstairs and waste another night on watching her sleep.
She was always awake when he started. He sat in the chair and sipped his mug of
O Negative (98.6 thankyouverymuch), watching her chest rise and fall steadily.
Making sure she was loud enough, she would always murmur our her love for him
and smile when he acknowledged it.
Despite what he thought, she had been completely in her right state of mind when
she’d first admitted her feelings to him. She’d pretended to still be slightly
loopy to get him to think that her random burst of love was part of her insane
ramblings. When he’d gone downstairs after that, she’d frowned, realizing that
maybe he thought that she had merely said the words because of her lovely
medication.
So, every night since then, she’d told him she loved him, and he slowly began to
accept it. She had recently started telling him during the day, in random little
bursts. For example…
*~::~*
2 days ago…
Spike walked into the bedroom, holding a tray. “Okay, the specials for today are
soup…water…um…crackers…oh, Doritos, sorry…” He placed the tray on her dresser,
trying to think of anything he might have forgotten.
She watched him with her head tilted. He was so adorable; all fumbly. His hair
was mussed, and he was wearing a pair of baggy black pants and a black hooded
sweatshirt with the word GAP on it. She tried not to smile. Really she did!!
It’s just…Spike in a GAP sweatshirt? C’mon.
In a sudden burst of affection, she said, “I love you!”
He looked up from the tray, eyes wide. “Well…that’s uh….well. What brought that
on?”
“Um…the chicken soup and the chips and the, um, sweatshirt.”
“Oh,” he said, looking down at the sweatshirt, and smiled. Raising his head he
said, “So it’s just the chicken soup?”
“Well…no. It’s you…”
“What part of me?”
“Aside from the obvious?”
“Yeah…”
“I love the part of you that writes poetry and stashes it behind the bed…yeah,
you thought I didn’t know about that, didn’t you? I love the part of you
that…that reads stories to our unborn children. I love the part of you that is
awesomely protective of me and Dawn…I love the part of you that bonds with
Xander…Don’t you shake your head at me, I’ve seen it! I love…you. Everything.”
There was a pause, and then Spike wiped at his eyes and said, “I bloody well do
NOT bond with Xander.”
“Spoil the moment why don’t you.”
*~::~*
That had resulted in the buying of her engagement ring. Spike had brought it
home last night, and had asked her, in a very familiar way, to marry him.
*~::~*
Last night…
“Spike, why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like what?”
“Well aside from the whole ‘rocking on your feet like you need to pee’ thing,
you’re looking remarkably like a little boy at Christmas.”
“Uh…thanks…”
“So what did you want to talk about?”
“Right…” He sighed and kneeled beside her on the bed. “Buffy…for years you were
my mortal enemy…my greatest foe. Every time I told you I was going to kill you,
I couldn’t. I just…couldn’t think of a world without you in it. Before now, I
used to think that I would take you out…kill you, y’know? But I know now that…I
love you so much more than anything in this world. God, ever since I saw you at
The Bronze, dancing with the Whelp, I knew that I wanted you. Wanted you like
nothing else in the world. Buffy…I more than want you now. I love you. I want to
love you for eternity. That is…if you’ll have me.” He pulled out two black
velvet boxes. “This one’s more traditional…” He opened the first one, only to
reveal a simple gold band with a sapphire in the center, a diamond on either
side of it. “But I thought this one would be more…symbolic, y’know?” He opened
the second box to reveal the skull ring that they had used during their false
engagement. “Same speech…same ring…” He turned hopeful blue eyes in her
direction. “Buffy…will you marry me?”
She finally found her voice, tears forming in her eyes. “Spike…this is so
sudden! I-I don’t know what to say…”
“Just say yes,” he whispered. “And make me the happiest man on earth.”
“Oh…oh, Spike! Of course it’s yes!”
*~::~*
She was admiring her ring, glittering in the moonlight, when she heard her
fiancé’s footsteps coming up the stairs. She quickly ducked under the covers
again, trying to hide the fact that she was awake.
The door opened, and Spike stood in the doorway for a few moments, and she
practically heard the smirk as he said, “Can’t fool me, luv. I KNOW you’re
awake.”
She popped her head out from the covers, and rolled her eyes, muttering,
“Dammit.”
“Your heart rate changed from when I was coming up the stairs. Therefore,
awake.”
“You’re such a poop.”
“Why, thank you. I feel SO loved now.”
She smiled as he crossed the room and plopped down into his chair, lifting the
mug to his lips.
And as she drifted off to sleep, one thought walked through her mind.
God, I love this man…
______________________________________________
[a/n]---I got sick of prolonging it. I’m trying to finish my stories. Also,
possible epilogue to follow...