"I can't believe you're saying this."

Buffy stared at him incredulously, eyes filling with tears. Spike was standing before her, leaning casually against her doorframe.

"Sorry, love. Don't know what else to tell you."

"I think you've said enough, thanks."

He smirked at her, stuffing his hands into his pockets. Buffy's heart broke a little more with every word he said.

"I was... that bad?" she choked out, almost not wanting to hear his reply.

"Bad is what you'd call an understatement," he said, the arrogant grin never leaving his handsome face.

Buffy couldn't stop the tears now. They spilled from her eyes all at once, and her head was spinning. Nausea threatened to take her over.

"But... I-I thought..."

"Listen, Summers. I've got stuff to do, places to be. And I'm meeting Cecily in an hour. Anything else you want to know?" he sighed.

"How could you do this to me?" she demanded, fists balling up at her sides.

He shrugged. "You don't mean anything to me--never did. I just wanted to see how far you'd let me go."

She shook her head, furious with her poor judgment. She thought Spike was different--she thought he cared. "I'm so stupid," she mumbled.

"Yeah, well, I gotta go. I'll see you around."

"Please don't leave me," she called out, watching in devastation as he turned his back to her.

"Later, Summers."

"No! Spike, please! Wait!"

He didn't answer her. He didn't stop. He just kept walking. Out of her life. For good...

"Buffy!"

Her eyes shot open, the dream still fresh in her mind.

"Wha... Spike?" she asked groggily.

"Rise and shine, love. You were havin' a nightmare."

She was vaguely aware of the fact that she was in Spike's bed naked, and he was looming over her with worry in his piercing blue eyes. But the point was that he was there--he hadn't left her.

That was one scary dream.

"Sorry," she said, staring up at him. "What time is it?"

"Almost ten," he replied. "You better go. My dad's going to be home soon, and he'll flip if he finds you in bed with me."

Buffy gulped. I'm lying in bed with Spike. Naked. Because we had sex. Wonderful, amazing, beautiful sex. But now he wants me gone...

"Do you, um..." Her voice trailed off, trying to reign in her emotions. She didn't want to sound like some love-struck teenager. "I had a really good time last night," she continued. "You... don't think what we did was a mistake, do you?"

Please don't say yes, she mentally pleaded. You'll break my heart if you say yes.

"'Course not, pet. You were incredible."

She beamed. "You too," she smiled, relieved. Then, needing to feel him, she raised her head to capture his lips.

But he pulled back. Only slightly, but it was enough.

Oh god, he hates me!

"Spike?" she frowned, her insecurities all shining out through that single word.

She noticed him lower his gaze to a random spot on the bed, looking almost shameful. Buffy's heart twisted.

"You... you said it wasn't a mistake. Were you lying?"

"No," he amended. "I just... I don't know if it should happen again is all."

That was the ultimate blow. She would have rather he said it was a mistake. Gathering what was left of her dignity, she quickly climbed out of his bed, sheets pulled tightly to her.

"Buffy?"

"I need to go. I-I can't be here anymore."

Bloody hell.

"Summers, don't do this. At least hear me out, will you?"

The dream came spiraling back at full force. He thought she was bad.

Bad is what you'd call an understatement.

Trying to hold back her tears of regret, she slipped her nightgown over her head in one fluid motion. But Spike snatched her wrist before she could make another move.

"Let go of me," she bit out.

"Just wait a bloody second, love."

"I'm not your love! I'm not your anything! You've made that pretty clear."

"Buffy, when I said it shouldn't happen again, I didn't mean you were..." He sighed. "You're the best lover I've ever had."

A little bit of renewed hope entered her, but she wouldn't let her guard down so easily.

"Then what did you mean?" she asked, finally able to look at him.

"Well... don't you think we moved a little too fast?" he wondered.

"Do you?"

He thought about it for a moment. "Yes." Off her hurt expression, he continued. "Buffy, I told you we couldn't be together before any of this happened. It was your choice to sleep with me."

She was using all her willpower to stop the tears from spilling. "I-I don't understand, Spike. Why can't we be together? Are you... ashamed of me?"

"God, no. No, Buffy." I'm ashamed of myself.

"Then why? We like each other. Can't we at least attempt a relationship?"

"We're too different. We don't... fit."

"That's not what you said last night," she spat. "I seem to recall a certain amount of fitting."

Spike looked down again. "Buffy..."

"You're such an asshole." She was crying now. "You know what I was dreaming about when you woke me up? This. It's pretty sad when my subconscious is smarter than I am."

"I'm just trying to protect you," he tried to explain.

"From what? Being happy?"

"From getting hurt."

She shook her head. "Whatever. I gotta go."

"Summers, wait."

"Fuck you," was all she said, before storming out of his room and slamming the door behind her.

Spike fell backwards on his bed, wondering why he always had to make a mess of things.

~~~

Buffy picked up her phone with shaking hands, and dialed in the familiar numbers. A tired voice picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey. It's me."

There was the sound of shuffling on the other end, before the voice answered.

"Buffy? Yeesh, I slept in, didn't I?"

"Long night?"

"Very long."

Silence.

"Listen, Will. Can you come over? I-It's important."

"Um, sure. Gimme a few minutes to change and stuff. Is everything okay?"

Buffy sighed. "No, not really."

"Oh no, it's Spike, isn't it?"

More silence.

"I'll be right there."

The two hung friends hung up the phone.

Fifteen minutes later, there was frantic knocking at Buffy's front door. Willow stood there, looking a little more than worried.

"I came as soon as I could! What happened?" she inquired.

Buffy let the red head in and plopped down on the nearest sofa. Her mom had gone to church that morning, so there was no need to be secretive.

"Willow, I think I made a mistake," she started, watching as Willow took a hesitant seat next to her.

"Oh, gosh. What did you do?"

Buffy's eyes glistened with unshed tears, as she proceeded. "I, umm... well, I..." Just say it! Get it over with! With a deep breath, she finished: "I had sex with Spike last night."

Willow's eyes widened to mass proportions. Buffy thought for a moment that they might pop out of her head. She said nothing, as she just stared in shock at the solemn blonde. Finally, Willow spoke.

"Holy frijoles! You didn't!"

"I did."

"Oh, goddess. I-I can't believe it! What was it like? What happened?"

"It was wonderful," Buffy admitted. "It was the best night of my life."

Willow couldn't help but smile. "But from the cry-face persona, I'm thinking you're leaving something out."

She nodded. "As always."

"Spike wasn't all pricky about it, was he?"

"Little bit," she swallowed.

Suddenly, the phone rang. Buffy rose to get it, but Willow got there first.

"Who is this?" she demanded. Her eyes then narrowed in anger. "Buffy's not home!" She slammed the phone down.

"I really hope that was Spike," Buffy said, nervously.

"That asshole! The nerve calling here after what he did to you!"

"What did he say?"

"He said, 'Is Buffy there?' Asshole!"

"Definitely an asshole-ish thing to say," she smiled.

"Totally. But where were we? Oh, right! Spike being an asshole! What happened?"

"He basically just said that it shouldn't happen again. You know, the sex. And that we couldn't be in a relationship because we "don't fit"," Buffy sighed in regret. "I was so naive."

"Oh, Buffy. You couldn't have known!"

"I should have. I should have known he didn't feel the same way about me."

"But he likes you! I know he does. And you like him. So how is that not mutual feelings?" Willow wondered.

"Because I don't like him."

She frowned. "Huh?"

Buffy looked down at the sofa. Tears suddenly spilled from her eyes all at once, coating the blush on her cheeks. Then, as her voice choked on a silent sob, she said what had been lingering in the back of her mind for days:

"Willow, I think I'm in love with him."

"Buffy, just--"

Click.

She sat on her bed, chocolate ice cream in one hand and a box of Kleenex in the other. Spike had called her repeatedly that day, but she wouldn't listen. Willow had held her as she cried, trying to soothe the dull ache that pierced her heart. But it hadn't worked. Buffy was still as miserable as ever.

She wished Willow didn't have to go to that family picnic--she was so lonely right now.

A knock at the front door startled Buffy out of her thoughts. She climbed out of bed and descended the stairs, hoping it wasn't who she thought it might be. Opening the door, she was surprised to find a stranger standing there, holding a bouquet of roses.

"C-Can I help you?" she asked, curiously.

"Uh, yes. I have a delivery for Buffy Summers."

"That's me."

"Great. Just sign here and we're all set."

She signed her name and took the flowers, thanking the man as he disappeared into his truck. Buffy then looked down at the little attached card, reading its contents to herself.

To: Buffy

Your friend, Spike

She growled in frustration. Your friend. Asshole! Eager to throw the roses out the window, she stormed up her staircase and whipped open her bedroom door. Only she froze in her tracks, when she noticed Spike sitting there on her bed.

"Do you like them?" he asked, taking a bite of her half-eaten ice cream.

Determined not to let him get under her skin, she looked away and roughly set the flowers down on her desk.

"Get out," she ordered.

"Just got here."

"I said get out, Spike. I'm not ready to see you yet."

"So I take it you're not going to forgive me then?" he wondered, sitting up and dangling his legs over the side of the bed.

"Come back when you get a personality transplant. Then we'll see," she responded, coolly.

"You burn me, love."

"I'm serious."

Spike sighed. "I just want to explain the way I acted this morning."

"I was there. I got the gist," she told him.

"No, I was rude. I hurt you."

"Something you're real good at. Ever thought of making a career out of it? Only few have such talent."

"Summers, knock it off! I came here to tell you something and I'm bloody well going to say it," he said, standing up.

Buffy crossed her arms over her chest. "Make it quick."

He nodded, and immediately began pacing the room. Now that he finally had her attention, he was suddenly at a loss for words. She was staring at him, her bright green eyes both expectant and curious.

"Buffy, I..."

She waited. He didn't look as if he was going to continue. "You what?" she prompted.

In a moment of panic, he blurted out the farthest thing from his mind: "Buffy, I just want to be friends."

She looked as if she was going to cry again. Bloody hell! Why did he have to be such a stupid git? Why couldn't he just tell her the truth? Because he was a coward, that's why. And now she was crying, the tears falling down her cheeks against her will.

Buffy looked down at the carpet beneath her feet. It felt as if the room was spinning around her, as her heart broke in her chest. After all they've been through... after all they've said...

"I can't be your friend right now, Spike," she confessed, wiping the tears on her pajama sleeve. "I'm sorry."

He swallowed back the growing lump in the back of his throat. The look of utter despair in her eyes gave him a sudden bout of courage. He knew that if he left her like this, there was no going back. Everything they had worked up to would be lost.

"Buffy--"

"Get out of my house, Spike," she cut him off. "Now."

"Please, I need to--"

"Fine. I'll go."

Spike watched as she turned to leave the room. In a moment of desperation, he called out to her. "Buffy, please!"

She stopped. There was something in his voice. She wasn't sure what it was, but it made her stop. She turned around to face him.

His eyes were wide and glossy and Buffy realized he was on the verge of tears. She took a cautious step towards him.

"Spike?"

"I-I'm so sorry, Buffy. God, I'm so sorry..."

His voice began to crack. It felt as if his feet could no longer hold his weight, so he fell down onto the bed. All the emotions and guilt and pain he had carried with him for so long, were finally being surfaced. And it was too much. She was looking at him now with concern.

"Spike, are you okay?" she wondered, taking another step forward.

"Buffy, I can't. You have to understand. It's not you, love. It's me. God, Buffy, I'm so bloody sorry..."

Tears started making their way down his chiseled face. Buffy had never seen him cry like this before. Feeling the intense need to comfort him, she ran the rest of the way across the room and took him in her arms.

"Don't cry," she whispered.

"Fuck. Baby, I'm so sorry. The things I did to you... the things I said. How can you even look at me? You deserve so much better. You deserve so much more," he sobbed, burying his face against her shoulder.

"No, Spike. I don't care about the past. You know that," she explained. "I want you. I want to be with you. Nothing else matters."

Fresh tears of her own ran down her cheeks, as she held him. For the very first time, she understood. This wasn't about her--it was about him. It was about him needing to work out his own issues. Because until he did that, he was right. They couldn't be together.

"I'm so sorry, love. I'm so sorry," he repeated, showering tender kisses across her face. His tears mingled with her own as they held each other.

Buffy didn't know what to say at first. She wanted to keep telling him that it didn't matter--that she didn't care about the past. But then she realized that's not what he needed to hear. With a deep breath, she said the only three words that could make this right.

"I forgive you."

It was completely silent for a moment. The words hung in the air, as Spike registered what she was telling him. He looked up at her then, the emotion in his eyes almost overwhelming. She smiled softly down at him, running a gentle hand along his jawline.

"I forgive you," she said again, this time making sure he saw her face when she said it. He had to know she meant it.

Buffy watched intently for his reaction. At first it was just a blank stare, but then his face began to crumble. Fresh tears pooled out from his eyes, and he buried his face between her breasts. The sobs shook his body to the core, and Buffy wrapped her arms around him tightly, trying to calm him.

"Shh," she soothed. "I forgive you, Spike."

He continued to cry, his warm tears seeping through Buffy's t-shirt. But she didn't care. It only made her feel closer to him. She wished there was something else she could do, but she knew that there wasn't. She had done her part--now it was up to Spike to do the rest.

~~~

Buffy sat at the dinner table that evening, watching as her mom brought over the large pot of spaghetti.

Spike was sound asleep in her bed. They had both drifted off together in each other's arms, but the sound of her mother's blaring voice had woken her up. Spike didn't seem to notice and Buffy didn't have the heart wake him. A cry-fest like that would exhaust anybody. So instead she slipped out of his embrace and quietly exited the room. Now here she sat, spooning the slimy strands of pasta onto her plate.

Joyce sat across from her, as she opened up the jar of tomato sauce. She took in her daughter's disheveled appearance and immediately became concerned.

"Sweetheart, is everything alright?"

Buffy looked up, her eyes still a little red and dry from crying earlier. "Yeah, Mom. I'm fine."

"Have you been crying?" her mother persisted.

She sighed. "Yeah, a little. But it's no big. All better."

"Oh, honey, I wish you wouldn't keep things from me."

"It's nothing, really. Just... guy-related issues."

"Is it regarding that sweet boy who took you to Prom?" Joyce wondered, excitedly. She always loved a good girl talk.

"No, no... not Jonathan. I actually think Willow might be interested in him," Buffy mused, disappointed that she had forgotten to get all the juicy details from her friend.

"Who is it then? Someone new?"

"Mom, can we talk about this later? I've sorta had a long day," she tried, hoping her mother would back off.

But she didn't.

"Buffy, you've been so secretive lately. I'm worried about you."

Buffy sighed again, setting down her fork in defeat. "I know. I'm sorry. It's just that this is a really crucial part of my life--you know, graduating and all that. Then throw in some boy trauma and you've got a super stressed Buffy on your hands."

"Well, I'm always here for you, sweetie. You know that, right? I hate it when you're not open with me," Joyce smiled, giving her daughter's hand a loving pat.

Buffy briefly toyed with the thought of filling her mom in on the whole Spike scenario. But she knew that if she spilled one thing, other things would inevitably be revealed. Other, more personal and embarrassing things...

"I'm sorry, Mom. I promise I'll tell you everything. But first I just need to figure this all out myself," she explained.

Joyce finally nodded in acceptance. "Alright. I'll be here when you do," she said.

"Thanks for understanding," Buffy smiled, relieved.

The rest of the supper went by in silence. When they finished their meals, Buffy quickly cleared her plate and hurried up the stairs.

"Great dinner, Mom! I'm gonna go study!" she called out. She didn't wait for a reply, as she quickly entered her room and shut the door.

Only when she glanced over at her bed, Spike wasn't there. Sighing sadly, she stepped over to where he previously lay and looked down. A small note rested amongst the covers and dirty Kleenex's. Picking it up, she read it to herself:

Dear Buffy,

Love, Spike

Buffy smiled, bringing the piece of paper close to her chest. "You're welcome."

Then she began to clear off her bed, cringing as the chocolate ice cream melted into her sheets.

Still, the smile never left her face.

Love, Spike.

"So, how does it feel to be the king of Sunnydale High, Spikey?" Harmony asked, purposely leaning over to expose her ample chest.

His "friends" surrounded him, all eager to hear what he had to say.

"Uh, it's nice," he replied, his thoughts elsewhere.

"I can't believe Cecily got queen. That bitch!" Cordelia pouted. She then noticed Cecily walk into the cafeteria and immediately put on a cheery smile. "Cec! Good to see you, hun. You totally make the best Prom Queen!"

The men at the table rolled their eyes. Spike was still staring across the cafeteria, eyes focused on the vivacious blonde. She was sitting at her table, laughing merrily with her pals. She had yet to look his way.

"So," Cordy continued to yammer. "Graduation party at my house on Saturday. Everyone's invited except for the losers at that table." She pointed to where Buffy, Willow, Xander, and Tara sat.

"So that's pretty much everyone," Angel shrugged.

Spike shook his head in disgust. "Why can't they go?" he demanded, fed up with these people he chose to associate with.

"Duh, Spike. I think you're missing the whole loser concept," she said. "Besides, they probably wouldn't go even if they were invited. Too busy staying at home not getting laid."

Everyone laughed. Except for Spike.

"Cordelia, do you realize what a heartless bitch you are?" he suddenly blurted, successfully getting the entire table's attention.

"Excuse me?" she asked, mortified that she was being insulted by her own kind.

"You heard me."

She glared at him, spitefully. "Oh, please. If you think they're so great, why aren't you over there sitting with them?"

"One step ahead of you, love," he said, picking up his lunch tray and standing up.

Everyone gasped.

"You can't sit with them, Spikey!" Harmony whined.

"Watch me."

"Oh, let him go," Cordelia crossed her arms. "Mousy little Buffy Summers is obviously more important than his actual friends."

"She is," Spike nodded. "Because unlike you, she has class."

Cordelia's eyes widened, stung by his comment, while everyone else tried to hide their chuckles.

Spike strode over to Buffy's table, feeling as if a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Though he was still a bit nervous, considering the last time he talked to Willow, she slammed the phone down on him. What if he wasn't welcome?

Buffy was in shock. Jonathan had kissed Willow! The red head sat across from her, her cheeks flushed a deep scarlet.

"I can't believe it, Wills! You smooched it up with my date!" she grinned, happy that her friend had finally found someone.

"I didn't mean it! It all happened so fast. One minute he was walking me to my door, and the next he was leaning up to kiss me!"

"Leaning up," Buffy giggled.

Suddenly, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned to look at Tara. "Yeah?" she wondered.

"Umm..." All Tara could do was point.

Buffy looked in the direction of the blonde girl's finger and her eyes went wide. Spike was standing there, holding his lunch tray in his hands.

"Is there room for another?" he asked, almost sheepishly.

She smiled, her heart filling with pride. Spike had actually deserted his friends to come sit by her.

"Always," she told him, her face practically glowing.

Spike smiled back and took a seat next to Buffy.

"Hey, man," Xander greeted. "Weird seeing you here. Especially considering you sat between Cordelia and Harmony. I sure as hell wouldn't be going anywhere."

Willow smacked him on the arm. Spike just chuckled.

"Yeah, well, there's only so much talk of manicures and pom-pom moves a bloke can take," he said. "Besides, it's not where I wanted to be."

Buffy looked up at him, surprised. The others didn't seem to catch on.

"Sorry I hung up on you, Spike," Willow apologized. Buffy had told her everything that happened. From the flowers, to Spike's breakdown. "I hope you're... okay now?" She tried to keep it subtle, as to not embarrass the poor guy.

"Uh, yeah. Right as rain," he replied, clearing his throat.

He then reached over and rested a hand on Buffy's knee.

She let out a breathy, little gasp at the contact. He slowly moved it up and down her leg, sensitizing her vulnerable flesh. Buffy looked up at him again, but he acted as if nothing was going on. He munched on a few chips, while sharing a laugh or two with her friends at the table. Her friends who were completely oblivious to the fact that she was trying her hardest not to throw Spike on said table and have her wicked way with him.

A tiny "eep" escaped from her lips, when she felt his hand reach under her skirt and lightly run along her inner thigh. Still, no one seemed to notice. Even Spike looked as if nothing was happening. She squirmed a little bit in her seat, as a stream of liquid pooled out of her and wetted her panties.

"You alright, love? You look a little... flustered," Spike suddenly said, trying to hide his mischievous grin.

Buffy's head shot up. "Uh. Y-Yeah. I'm... just great," she gulped.

"Good." His thumb brushed along the dampness of her underwear.

"Ah!" she squeaked.

Her friends all glanced at her. "You sure you're okay, Buffy?" Willow wondered. "Spike's right. You do look kinda... well, feverish. Do you feel sick?"

All Buffy could do was shake her head fiercely, as Spike's fingers pushed her panties aside. She tensed, anticipating the feel of him touching her.

"I just... umm... oh... cramps!" she blurted. "Bad, bad cramps."

The others frowned. Spike smirked, as he dug into his macaroni and cheese. This was just too fun...

"Uh!" Buffy groaned. "I-I mean, ow!"

Spike ran his hand along her inner folds, trying his best to ignore the raging hard on in his pants. Bringing Buffy off in the middle of their school cafeteria was just too much.

Her breathing became more labored, and she could tell that her face must be beat red. She couldn't believe she was letting Spike touch her like this in the middle of school. What if someone saw? Strangely, that possibilty seemed to turn her on even more.

She suddenly felt one of Spike's digits press against her clit.

Holy mother of god. Her heart started pounding furiously, as her eyes went wide. With one more flick of his finger, Buffy went over the edge. Panicking, she grabbed the roll Willow was about to take a bite of, and stuffed it in her mouth, smothering her cry.

Her body spasmed, and Buffy had to hold onto the table for support. The roll was still in her mouth, held in between clenched teeth. She felt Spike remove his hand from between her legs, and she breathed in deeply through her nose.

When she glanced back at her friends, they were all staring at her. Almost forgetting about the roll, she quickly took a bite and pulled it out of her mouth.

"Mmm. Good roll," she said, weakly.

"Good Willow roll!" the red head, pouted. Then she sighed. "I'll get another. No big. I know I get weird cravings during that time of the month too--of course it's not usually other people's rolls, but everyone has their own thing."

They didn't know. Buffy let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding and quickly reached down to adjust her underwear. She then looked over at Spike, swallowing hard.

He licked his fingers and gave her a wink, before taking another bite of his macaroni.

Perv.

~~~

Spike was standing by Buffy's locker, as she strolled over to fetch her back pack. She blushed when she spotted him.

"Hey, Summers," he grinned, waggling his eyebrows at her. She reddened even more.

"Uh, hey. Why weren't you in computer class?" she asked, quickly steering the topic to non-sexy matters.

"Principal Wood wanted to talk to me," he shrugged.

Buffy frowned. "For the whole period?"

"Yeah, nothin' important. But listen, do you want a ride home? I've been meaning to talk to you." He leaned in closer to her. "And my dad works late tonight."

She gulped at his suggestive tone. It was true that they needed to talk. Emotions were running high last night and it was time that they sat down and had a civilized conversation about their relationship.

"Um, sure. Why not," she replied. "Lemme get my stuff."

It wasn't long before they made their way out to the parking lot and piled into Spike's car. And it definitely wasn't long before Buffy was in his lap, furiously making out with him.

"This isn't... talking," Buffy gasped, in between heated kisses. That didn't seem to stop her though, and she leaned in for more.

His tongue explored the hot cavern of her mouth, as he elicited a deep moan from the back of her throat.

"Sorry, love. I can't help myself around you," he breathed out, nipping on her bottom lip with his teeth. "And watchin' you come at lunch today..." He sucked the pink flesh into his mouth. "... it got me so hot."

"Ooh," she groaned, pressing her heated center against the large bulge in his jeans.

Suddenly, there was a loud tapping at the window. Buffy jumped so high, her head hit the roof of the car. Rubbing the sore spot, she quickly scrambled off of Spike, accidentally grinding her knee into his groin in the process.

"Bloody hell!" he roared, trying to roll down the window.

Mr. Giles stood there, looking more than a little flustered.

"Um, hello."

Spike stared at him, still a little breathless. Buffy hid her face in her hands, ashamed her favorite teacher caught her making out in the school parking lot. She feared he would have heart failure if he knew what happened during lunch...

Mr. Giles cleared his throat, before continuing. "I apologize for the, uh... interruption. But as an authority figure of this school, it is my duty to make sure the children don't participate in any, er, hanky panky on school grounds. So if you don't mind taking this little rendezvous elsewhere... ?"

Spike sighed. "You got it, Giles."

He nodded, relieved. Then he poked his head into the car, giving Buffy a little wave. "Hello, Miss Summers!"

Buffy sunk down into her seat. "Um, hi," she gulped, still embarrassed out of her mind.

Mr. Giles straightened and took a step back. "Well, good day you two. Drive carefully!"

Spike smiled at his teacher and rolled the window back up. He quickly shifted the gear into drive and took off through the parking lot.

Buffy sighed. "I can't believe Mr. Giles caught us in the middle of a grope-fest. How humiliating is that?"

"He'll get over it. 'Sides, the old man probably enjoyed the free show," he shrugged.

She stared at him blankly. "Um, ew?"

Spike took out a cigarette and lit up. "Way of the world, pet."

She sighed again. It was silent for a while, before Buffy spoke up. "Spike?"

"Yeah?"

"This talk we're gonna have... is it actually going to involve words this time?" she wondered.

Spike chuckled. "Yeah, love. I promise to keep my hands to myself. There's some stuff I need to tell you, anyway."

She nodded, both relieved and disappointed. She wanted nothing more than to ravage him, but knew that they really should talk first.

"Okay," she said, and then side-glanced him a wicked grin. "As long as you promise not to keep your hands to yourself after."

His eyes sparkled. "You have my word."

Buffy wiped her sweaty palms on the back of her denim skirt. She was so nervous, she could hardly breathe. What if Spike just wanted to be friends? Their little lunch/parking lot confrontations had her thinking otherwise, but it was always plausible. And Buffy didn't think she could survive another rejection.

She was too in love with him to be friends right now.

Oh god! Stupid "L" word! Her mental admission made her even more nervous. Sure, she had confessed her feelings for Spike to Willow, but now she was faced with the possibility of confessing them to Spike himself. Should she tell him how she really felt? Or would that just scare him away? She highly doubted the feelings were mutual.

"You alright, love?"

Spike had emerged from the bathroom, and was now standing in his doorway, his thumbs hooked into the belt loops of his black jeans. He was wearing a white tank that showed off the lean muscles of his arms, and his blonde hair was a mess of adorable curls.

Buffy stared at him for a moment too long, practically drooling all over herself. She inwardly cursed herself. No kink until you talk!

"I-I'm a little nervous," she admitted, sitting down on his bed.

"Yeah? Well, we don't have to talk now. We've got all night," he smiled, walking towards her.

"I guess. I'm just..." She stretched out her sore arms. "Kinda tense. So much stress lately."

Spike nodded. "Scootch over," he told her.

She giggled. Spike said "scootch". Nevertheless, she obeyed.

"Now, c'mere." He sat on the edge of the bed, and motioned for her to sit between his legs.

Buffy arched a brow.

"Trust me," he assured her, off her look.

She shrugged and situated herself against him, briefly letting the feel of him take over her senses. He was so warm and hard and...

"Ooh, that feels nice," she cooed, as his strong hands began massaging her shoulders. She leaned into his touch, closing her eyes in contentment.

"You really are tense, love," he noted, digging his palms into her shoulder blades. She arched up against him with a sigh. Spike felt his nether regions begin to stir. Bloody hell.

"God, where did you learn to do this?" Her eyes were still closed, but her lips were slightly parted with an awed expression.

"Uh, guess it comes naturally," he shrugged, trying to ignore the growing bulge in his pants. He promised her no foreplay until they talked. Forcing his mind to think of non-Naked!Buffy thoughts, he continued to work her body, pressing his fingers into the tender muscles of her back and shoulders.

Buffy was in heaven. She had never felt this sated in her entire life, and Spike had only been touching her for no more than five minutes. She couldn't even imagine what a full body massage would feel like...

With a little gasp, she leaned into him more when he began to massage along her spinal cord.

"Too much for you?" he wondered, bringing his lips close to her left ear.

She shook her head. "Never."

"That's my girl."

Buffy opened her eyes at that. She didn't say anything for a few moments, but then her curiosity got the better of her. "Your girl?" she asked, softly.

A pause.

"Do you want to be?"

Spike stopped his ministrations, when he felt her turn around in his lap. Her eyes were wide and a smile was forming at the corner of her mouth.

"Spike, are you... ?" She could barely finish the sentence. "Are you saying you want to be with me?"

He swallowed his pride and nodded slowly. "Buffy, I know I've been a complete ass about everything. These past few months have been so confusin' for me, and I've put you through more than your fair share. But if you meant what you said--about forgiving me--then I'd want nothing more than for you to be my girl." Then he added with a smile, "If you'll have me, that is."

Buffy wasted no time in throwing her arms around his neck, and kissing him senseless. "Yes! Of course I'll have you, Spike," she told him, as they fell back onto the bed together. She showered his face in desperate kisses, tears of joy shining out through her eyes.

He wrapped his arms tightly around her back, sighing into her hair. It was taking all his willpower to hold back his own tears. "God, Buffy. I don't know why I waited so long to tell you that. You're everythin' to me... you're my whole bloody world..."

"Oh, Spike," she whispered, nuzzling her tear-stained face against his neck. "I know what you mean. I-I've never felt this way before," she admitted, kissing the sensitive skin of his throat. "You make me so happy."

"Except for when I'm makin' you miserable," he grinned, turning his head and stealing a tender kiss from her lips.

She smiled back. "Except for then."

They both sighed, as Buffy rested her head against his shoulder. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him, but she feared it would only ruin the moment. And this was a moment she wanted to last for as long as possible. Besides, what if he didn't feel the same way about her? What if this was just some typical high school romance that would end once school was over? This struck up a new fear inside of her. Spike had never seemed like the college type--and she could get into any school she wanted. What if they never saw each other again after summer ended?

"What are you thinkin' about, love?" Spike suddenly asked, breaking into her train of thought. She lifted her head and looked over at him.

"Spike, do you see us as a permanent thing?" she voiced, her fingers playing with his soft curls.

"To be completely honest, I wasn't thinkin' that far ahead," he told her.

"No, I know. I-I don't mean marriage and kids and that whole deal... I was referring to after high school. What if I go off to college and never see you again? I mean, we just found each other. I don't want to let you go."

The fear was evident in her voice. "Then don't," he simply said. "Stay in Sunnydale."

She lifted a brow. "You mean go to college here?"

"Why not?"

Buffy thought about this for a moment. She was thinking more along the lines of Harvard, or Yale, or UCLA. Not UC Sunnydale. "I don't know..." she replied, truthfully.

His face fell a little, but he quickly covered it up with a smile. "Do what makes you happy, Summers."

She nodded. She didn't want to think about this now, anyway. There were still a couple of weeks left before she needed to decide, and right now all she wanted was for her boyfriend to hold her.

Spike swallowed, placing her head back down on his shoulder. He hadn't even taken into consideration the future. Their future. How could he even suggest her staying here? She was too good for Sunnydale.

Too good for him.

He shook his head. Now wasn't the time to be having regrets. He made his decision, and until the time came, he was sticking to it. He cared for Buffy--more than life itself. And if they were meant to be long-term, then they would be. All they had right now was the moment and he didn't plan on losing it.

~~~

"Ooh! Spike, look!" Buffy exclaimed, flipping through the television channels. It was almost eight, and she was still at Spike's, sitting Indian style on his floor.

Spike looked up from his magazine on the bed. "What's that?"

"The Discovery Channel is having a marathon! On antelope mating rituals!"

He spared her a worried glance.

"What?" she inquired, off his look. "I happen to find it fascinating. Life being created amongst the wild--it's a beautiful thing!"

"It's disgusting."

"Pfft. Nature is not disgusting," she corrected.

He chuckled. "Whatever you say." A few moments passed, as Spike watched her stare transfixed at the television. "But, uh, speaking of mating rituals..."

Buffy grinned, and flipped off the TV. "I seem to recall you only fulfilling one of your two promises," she said coyly, standing up and sashaying towards the bedside.

He watched her move, hardening at the thought of things to come. "Little minx," he smirked, sitting up.

She approached him slowly, climbing up onto the bed and hovering over him. He wasted no time in lifting his head and capturing her parted lips in a sensual kiss.

"Mmm," she moaned, running her hands up under his white tank.

"Tell me what you want, love," he said, nipping his way over to her ear lobe. He sucked it gently into his mouth, feeling her body tremble above him.

"I, umm... mmm... I-I..."

"Want to consummate our newfound relationship?" he grinned, licking down the side of her neck.

She sighed, sadly. "I'm still a little sore."

"You mean you want another massage?" he wondered.

"Oh! No, I mean... down there." Blushing slightly, she gestured "down there".

Spike followed her gaze. Oh.

"I'm sorry," Buffy apologized, looking ashamed. "I probably should've told you before I got you all worked up."

He took her head in his hands. "Don't you dare apologize," he told her firmly. "I'm sorry I hurt you, baby."

"It wasn't your fault," she smiled. "I guess I'm just extra fragile."

"You're perfect." He kissed her forehead. "'Sides, there's other things we can do besides sex."

"Ooh, like study for our history final?"

"Talk about spoiling the mood," he grumbled.

"Teasing. What did you have in mind?"

Spike gave her one of his deliciously evil smirks and rolled her off of him. "Be right back," he told her, and hurried out the door.

Buffy shivered in delight, those smirks never ceasing to make her tingle in all the right places. It wasn't long before Spike emerged, that sexy smile still plastered on his face. He held a glass in one of his hands, filled to the brim with...

"Ice cubes?" Buffy wondered with a curious frown.

"Strip," he ordered.

"What?!"

"Hurry, love. Before they melt."

"Spike, what are you..." Her voice trailed off. There was no mistaking that devious glint in his eye. With a hesitant sigh, Buffy found herself pulling her shirt over her head, as he approached her.

"Now," he said. "Lay back."

She did as she was told, her body heating up in anticipation. Spike quickly mounted her, unzipping her skirt and pulling it down her legs. Buffy gulped.

"You trust me, don't you?" he asked, not wanting to try anything she didn't like.

"More than anything," was her unwavering reply.

"Good then." He plucked an ice cube out of the glass, and laid it atop her abdomen. She squeaked in surprise, still clad in her bra and undies.

"Cold!" she protested, arching her body off the bed.

Spike grinned, rubbing the cube along her belly. He then leaned down and licked off the watery trail with his tongue. The cold to hot contrast made Buffy tremble in pleasure.

"You like that?" he asked, reaching behind her and unclasping her bra. All she could do was nod. When the offending piece of material was discarded, Spike wasted no time in taking the ice cube and sliding it over her breasts.

"Oh!" she gasped, feeling her nipples harden against the cold chill. Spike once again dipped his head down, taking a rosy bud in his mouth. She writhed against him, fingers grasping at the nape of his neck. "Oh, god."

The ice cube quickly melted against her burning flesh, so Spike extended his arm over to his nightstand and pulled out another one. He then reached down, and drew her panties off of her legs. Buffy immediately spread her thighs for him, aching to feel more of what he had to offer.

Spike took a moment to gaze at her, lying fully naked on his bed. It had been dark that first night, and he didn't get the chance to just look at her. But here she was, sprawled out before him, more beautiful than ever.

"God, Buffy. You're bloody amazing, you know that?"

She flushed under his scrutiny, feeling the need to close her legs together. Spike noticed and quickly put his hands on her knees to stop her. "Don't," he simply said. She swallowed, but obeyed.

He then took the ice cube and placed it once again over her belly button. He traced it agonizingly slow down her stomach, until it brushed up against her honey blonde curls. She lay completely still, waiting for his next move. Spike didn't make her wait too long, before lowering the ice cube a little more, until it touched her clit.

"Oh god!" she hissed, arching her hips even further off the bed.

He grinned, despite himself, and trailed the quickly melting piece of ice up and down her wet slit. She mewled beneath him, gripping and clawing at the bed sheets. Spike then lowered his head, and licked his way up her dripping center, stopping only to suck her aching clit between his teeth.

That did it. Buffy quickly felt her body begin to shudder against him, and she cried out her release.

"Ooooohhh! Oh god! Spike!" she moaned, throwing her head back in ecstasy.

Just as she started to come back down, they both heard the front door close downstairs. Mr. McAlister was home.

Spike lifted his head, as Buffy's eyes went huge.

"Spike? Are you home?" he called out.

"Eep!" Buffy squealed, rolling off the bed and furiously trying to throw on her clothes. Spike sighed, inwardly cursing his father for his less than perfect timing.

As Buffy scrambled around to find her bra, Mr. McAlister's voice could be heard from below.

"Where are all the ice cubes?!"

Buffy stood nervously at her locker, clutching her books in her sweaty palms. She glanced up at the clock and realized the morning bell was going to ring at any minute. Being so wrapped up in her thoughts, she failed to notice her red headed best friend standing a few feet in front of her.

"Buffy?"

She jerked her head up. "What? Oh! Hi, Wills."

"You okay?" Willow wondered.

"Peachy. Um, have you seen Spike around?"

"Oh, not yet. He's usually late."

"Right. He's probably late," Buffy reasoned.

The two just stood there, as Willow watched her friend fidget with her shirt sleeve. "A-Are you coming? You don't wanna miss history again."

"Yeah. In a minute. You go on without me."

"Are you sure? Because--"

"Positive. See you in a few," she smiled, dismissing Willow with the nod of her head.

Willow shrugged, before walking off. "Okay, then."

Buffy sighed, running a shaky hand through her blonde mane. Just before she was about to give up, the two double doors whipped open and Spike jogged through. He quickly perused the almost vacant hallway, finally spotting Buffy waiting patiently by her locker. Giving her a dazzling smile, he approached her.

"Sorry, love. Woke up late," he apologized, noticing how nervous she looked.

"I-I thought you weren't coming," she admitted, her heart rate starting to slow down. "But you're here. Yay."

"Just like I promised." He leaned down to give her a kiss.

"Spike?" she interrupted, right before their lips met.

"Hmm?"

"Don't kiss me."

He frowned. "Why not?"

"Because if you do, I won't be able to stop."

Spike grinned. "I'm sure there's an empty classroom around here somewhere. Maybe we could--"

Buffy gasped. "Spike!" she scolded, playfully hitting him on the chest. "You're sucha horndog."

"Wouldn't throw stones, pet. You're one to talk."

She blushed. "I can't help that you bring out the nympho in me."

"I like your inner nympho. Maybe she can make an appearance after school today?" he suggested, his eyes dancing mischievously.

A vision of ice cubes flashed through her mind. "Maybe," she grinned.

Suddenly the bell rang, breaking the moment.

"Great. I'm late again," Buffy pouted. "Mr. Giles probably hates me."

"Rot. You're his favorite student. But anyway, I gotta run to my locker before I hit up chemistry. I'll see you at lunch, alright?"

She nodded. "Okay."

Spike smiled, before giving her a quick peck on the lips. "See you, Summers."

Buffy sighed. "See you."

~~~

"So? Details?!" Willow demanded, pulling Buffy aside after history class.

"What? What details?"

"I saw you two! You and Spike! When I came out of the bathroom, you guys were all googly eyes with each other."

Buffy looked down, unable to hide her smile. "We're together, Will. Officially."

"Oh, my god!" her friend squealed. "I'm so happy for you! I knew it would happen. I just knew it!"

Buffy's smile grew wider. "It's so new and exciting," she confessed. "It's like I can't stop thinking about him."

"Love can do that to a gal."

"Oh, god. Love."

"You do, right? Love him?" Willow inquired.

"Yeah, I do. I just... I dunno if he feels the same way, you know?" she sighed.

"I bet he does! I bet he loves you!"

"Oh, god..."

Buffy suddenly jumped when two strong arms encircled her waist. How long had he been standing there? Why didn't Willow say anything?!

"How was history, pet?" Spike asked, kissing the top of her head.

"Oh, umm... kinda nerve-racking. Finals coming up and all."

"You'll ace 'em. You've got nothin' to fret about."

"Yeah, Buffy," Willow agreed, taking in the scene before her. "Nothing to fret about."

Her eyes widened. "Right! Well, anyway, I better get going. Um, bye, guys!"

She quickly disentangled herself from Spike's grasp and hurried down the hall.

"What was that all about?" Spike frowned, turning to Willow.

"Nothing! Nothing at all. It was about nothing!" she said, not looking too convincing. "Bye!"

Spike raised a brow and watched as Willow skipped off to catch up with her friend. "Women," he mumbled under his breath, and headed off to his next class.

~~~

Spike, Xander, and Jonathan sat at the lunch table, waiting for the female half to arrive. They ate together in an awkward silence, occasionally shooting an uncomfortable glance in one another's direction. They all sighed in relief when Buffy, Willow, and Tara entered the cafeteria, giggling about God knows what. Setting their books down, they took a seat across from their guy-shaped counterparts. Buffy was a little disappointed she couldn't sit next to her new boyfriend, but at least they could still play footsie under the table. Just as long as all other under-the-table action was reserved for later in the day...

"So," Buffy said, taking a bite of her apple. "Are you two a thing now?" She gestured towards Willow and Jonathan. They both blushed in unison.

"Um, yes. I-I think so," Jonathan stammered. "Willow's a wonderful girl. We hung out at the library yesterday."

Willow beamed. "Yeah, it was a riveting experience! With the copious amount books, a-and old ladies telling us to shush. All dates should consist of such danger and intrigue!" she exclaimed with a wink.

Buffy laughed. "Indeed. We had fun yesterday, too. Right, Spike?"

He nodded enthusiastically. "Very much fun."

"Yeah? What did you guys do?" Tara asked. "Because I'm not sure if anything can really top Willow's library adventure."

"Oh, uhh..." Spike glanced at Buffy, as color rose to her cheeks. "We, uh, studied. For finals and all that," he opted with.

Xander scowled. "That's not fun. That's torture. And wait, you two are together? Since when?"

"Last night," Buffy told him.

"Right. Because there's nothing like women's rights and dead presidents to bring two people together."

"You'd be surprised," Spike said, brushing his leg up against his girlfriend's. She smiled.

"This is so sad!" Willow suddenly commented. "Do you guys realize this is one of the last times we'll be doing this?"

"Doing what?" Buffy frowned.

"This! Sitting here, eating lunch... talking about our love lives. School's over in three days! And Friday's a half day," she pouted.

The others took in this information, despondent expressions on their faces.

"It is kinda disorienting," Buffy decided. "I-I mean, we've been doing this for four years. And to think that in a few days we never will again..." Her voice trailed off, her emotions getting the better of her.

"Hey, love, don't think that way," Spike tried to comfort her. "These are your mates. It's not like you'll never see them again."

"Yeah," Xander agreed. "I'm pretty much stuck here until... well, forever."

"And I'm going to UC Sunnydale," Tara added.

"Me too," said Jonathan.

Buffy sniffled, but let a smile surface. "What about you, Will? Have you decided on a college yet?"

"Not so much," she sighed. "But I still got about a week. You?"

She glanced at Spike. He looked at her expectantly. "Um, no," she finally admitted. "I have about a week too."

Spike sighed. "Well, I'm stayin' in Sunny D. Harris and I will probably be delivering pizza to you chits."

"Hey!" Xander objected. "I resent that."

"What? You think you can do better?"

"Hells yes!" he nodded. "I was thinking more along the lines of the town's most respected ice cream man..."

They all laughed, as Buffy reached across the table and took Spike's hand in hers.

"You won't be a pizza guy," she told him seriously. "You've got the smarts. You just need to apply yourself."

He shrugged her off. "Don't need your pity, Summers. I've pretty much accepted my fate."

"Well, I haven't."

It was silent for a little while, the mood shifting.

"So!" Willow blurted, trying to ease the sudden tension. "These are yummy hotdogs. I think the lunch lady is trying to win us over on our last week."

Xander nodded. "Have you tried the jello? It's amazing!"

Buffy and Spike sighed, both looking down at their respective plates, not really hungry anymore. Buffy didn't know what to do. She wanted so badly to stay with Spike, but her education had always been a priority to her. And what would her mother think if she said she was staying in Sunnydale? Pretty much that she was crazy. Because she would be. Sunnydale had nothing to offer her. There was a whole world out there, just begging to be explored. How could she not jump at the chance to crawl out of her shell and experience it?

Spike was having similar thoughts. How could he think for a minute that Buffy would choose him over an actual future? Because a future was something he definitely didn't have. He was barely going to graduate from high school. Hell, Principal Wood told him that if he didn't pass his history exam, he wouldn't graduate from high school. Of course he didn't tell Buffy this though, because he was sure she already thought of him as a failure. There was no point in reinstating that fact. Besides, Buffy was not only exceptionally smart, but she was beautiful and talented as well. Sunnydale had nothing to offer her. He had nothing to offer her. And he'd be a fool to think otherwise.

"I'm gonna go have a smoke," Spike grumbled, gathering his books and standing up. His previous happiness over finally having Buffy was gone. Because he realized that he didn't really have her at all.

"Wait," Buffy said.

He looked down at her, his expression unreadable. "Save it, pet."

And with that, he stormed off.

"Ouch," Xander remarked. "I'm feeling the burn."

Buffy sighed sadly, regretting even bringing the future conversation up in the first place. She should have known he'd be all sensitive about it.

"I'm sorry, Buffy," Willow sympathized. "I'm sure he'll cool down."

"I dunno, Will. This whole post-high school thing really sucks."

"It pretty much comes down to bad timing," Tara said. "I mean, you two finally work stuff out, but now you're gonna have to go your separate ways. If you decide to leave Sunnydale, that is."

"Considering Spike just made a dramatic exit, duster billowing sexily behind him, doesn't really scream "we worked stuff out"," Buffy commented, dryly.

"At least it billowed sexily!" Willow offered. "It wasn't a "I wanna break up" type billow."

Buffy smiled. "I guess. I should probably go talk to him though."

"I dunno if now is a good time," her friend reasoned. "He looked pretty upset."

"Which is why I should go un-upset him," she said, picking up her books. "I'll see you guys later."

"Bye, Buffy."

The four friends watched as she scurried off to go make amends. Willow frowned.

"I wonder why they're so complicated. It's like whenever they finally find happiness, it all goes kaplooey."

"You always hurt the one you love," Tara sighed.

"Yeah," Xander nodded, taking a big bite of his hotdog. Then realization hit him and he practically choked. "Wait... love?!"

"Spike?"

Buffy tapped on his window, her other hand clutching onto the wobbly ladder for support. She hadn't seen him the rest of the day and assumed he had gone home early. Trying the window and realizing it was locked, she sighed and peered in through the dirty glass. She noted that his book bag was lying on his bed, so he had to be home. She tapped louder. "Spike!"

She almost gave up, when Spike finally entered his bedroom, a towel around his waist. His hair was dripping wet, the small beads of water traveling down his neck and chest, only to deposit onto the carpet beneath his feet.

"Oh, yum..." she mumbled, mouth going dry. With a gulp, she continued to bang on the thin pane of glass. "Spike, open up!"

Spike glanced up at the sound of her ministrations. He sighed to himself and finally approached the window. With a quick unlatch and a tug, the window opened.

"Thanks for locking me out," she commented, stepping into his room.

"I figured since we were dating now, you'd learn how to use the door." He turned his back to her and began rummaging around his drawers for some clothes.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Fine. Door. Check."

He didn't look at her. She huffed and sat down on the bed.

"Will you stop being so grouchy?"

"Not grouchy. Indifferent," he corrected, pulling out a pair of his typical black jeans.

"Right. Because indifference is the key to a healthy relationship."

"This isn't about us."

"Could've fooled me," she said.

He sighed in frustration and turned around. "It's not. It's about me."

Buffy frowned. "It's about the pizza guy thing, isn't it? Spike, you're not going to deliver pizzas your whole life, okay? You're better than that. I know it, and you know it."

"You're wrong, Summers."

"I'm not!" She stood up and walked over to him. "Listen to me. I know what you are and I know what you're capable of. You're the strongest person I've ever met, and if you put your mind to it, you can do anything. Just because you're not going to chess club meetings every night, doesn't mean you're not smart." A grin washed over her features. "You're with me, aren't you?"

He chuckled. "When you put it that way..."

Buffy smiled and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head against his bare shoulder.

"I'm not as strong as you think I am, Buffy," he told her, rubbing a hand up and down her back.

"I think you are. You were practically stabbed to death and you're still standing."

"Yeah, but that's physical. I'm talking about--"

"You lost your mother and you're still standing."

Spike swallowed, tightening his grip on her. "Yeah."

"So if you can get through that, you can get through anything," she told him, nuzzling her face against the crook of his neck. "You're going to go far, Spike. And I'm going to watch you."

It was taking a lot of effort to hold back tears. Why did she make him so bloody vulnerable? Closing his eyes, he pulled her closer to him, her heat warming his dampened skin. "Do you realize how amazing you are, love?" he asked, kissing her hair.

"Mmm. Amazingly lucky, maybe," she answered.

He just smiled and continued to hold her. Moments passed, and Buffy suddenly looked up at him, a question on her face.

"Somethin' the matter?" he wondered.

"No, I..." Those eyes! Those lips! Ahh! Without another thought, she leaned up and kissed him, raising her arms to wrap around his neck. Finally, she removed her lips from his and whispered the bold request into his ear: "I want to taste you," she purred, mimicking the words he had used during their first night together.

Spike's eyes widened and his cock jumped to life at her admission. "What?"

"You heard me. Can I?"

"Buffy... I... hummm..." he stammered, unsure of what to say. Although his mind and other parts of his body were screaming yes!

She took a step back, suddenly feeling embarrassed. Her daring offer didn't quite get the reaction she was hoping for. Didn't men like it when women took initiative? "Nevermind," she quickly covered. Maybe he just thought she would be terrible. "I-I don't know what I was thinking."

"No, wait." He held out his hand, as if to stop her. "It's not you. Maybe I'm just not in the mood. Or, uh..."

Buffy looked down at the growing tent in his towel. She raised a brow.

"Okay, I'm very much in the mood. It's just..." His shoulders sagged in defeat. "I feel like I'd be corrupting you or something of the sort."

"You probably just think I'll suck," she grumbled.

This time Spike was the one to raise a brow.

"You know what I mean."

He sighed. "Summers, you know that's not it. I just don't want you to feel pressured."

"I don't. I want to try it. You know, return the favor," she explained, stepping towards him again.

"Return the favor? Also known as, feeling pressured."

"Spike, I don't feel pressured! I want to do this," she assured him.

He looked at her intently. His eyes traveled down to her lush lips, picturing how they would feel wrapped around his...

"Alright then," he nodded. "If you're sure."

Buffy grinned. "I'm sure," she said, stepping into the circle of his arms and leaning up to kiss him once more.

Spike groaned when she pressed her body alongside his, wriggling her hips against his aching erection. He walked her towards the bed, mouth never leaving hers, and quickly sat down. Buffy pushed his legs apart and kneeled between them, hesitantly unraveling the towel from around his waist. His jaw clenched in anticipation, watching her every move.

Buffy almost gasped when she finally saw him. Although they had two intense sexual encounters together, she never actually saw him. Of course she'd seen pictures and diagrams and learned about the male anatomy during Sex Ed. But this.... this was so different, so real...

"... so beautiful," she unconsciously muttered.

Spike sucked in a breath. She was gazing at his hard on as if it were some sort of heavenly being. "Buffy, if you want to back out--"

"No," she simply told him. Her mind flashed to a phone conversation with Willow a while back:

"Oh, well... I hear it's not so undeveloped anymore..."

Buffy grinned sheepishly, inwardly nodding. But then a sense of nervousness washed over her, as her mind reminded her of what she was about to do.

"Spike?"

"Uh-huh?" He was having a hard time controlling the urge to throw her on the bed and fuck her silly.

"Um, I-I've never done this before. So, uh, feedback would be nice."

He laughed lightly, but nodded his head. Taking that as her cue, Buffy instinctively licked her lips and lowered her head to his pulsing cock.

"Oh, god... Buffy..." he moaned, arching his hips of the bed.

She wrapped her lips around the head of his penis, her tongue immediately darting out to taste him. The fact that he was already writhing in need beneath her made her feel a bit more confident. She took one of her hands and wrapped it around the base of his shaft, giving it a gentle squeeze. She heard him gasp and squeezed a bit harder.

"Uhn! B-Buffy... not so hard, pet..." She blushed, but loosened her grip. "Ooh, yeah... just like that..."

Buffy continued stroking him with her right hand, as she bent down to lick her way up his cock. His encouraging words egged her on, and she took her other hand a lightly caressed his balls with her palm. He jerked a bit and Buffy looked up, afraid she hurt him again.

"Feels so good, baby... don't stop..." he pleaded.

She nodded and resumed her ministrations, this time taking his full length in her mouth.

"Bloody hell!" he gasped, reaching out his hand and entangling it in her hair. He resisted the desire to hold her head there, and instead just rested it against her blonde mane.

Buffy hollowed her cheeks out, bobbing her head up and down on his rigid member. She had no idea if she was doing this right, so she just went with her feminine instincts. But by the sounds he was making, she didn't think she was doing that horrible of a job.

She continued to deep-throat him, taking one of her hands and running it along the inside of his thigh. The muscles there twitched in reaction to her touch, and Buffy raked her nails nimbly against the sensitive skin. She then decided to try something new and ran her teeth lightly along his cock, all the way up to the tip.

"Bloody fuckin' hell..." he cursed, defying all natural urges to surge his hips forward. He didn't want to choke the poor girl. "God, love... pet, it feels so bloody good..."

She smiled against him, proud of herself for not accidentally breaking him or something. Buffy then enveloped her lips around him once more, sucking gently on the head of his cock. She felt his body begin to tense and sucked a little harder.

"Buffy... oh, god, I'm gonna come, love... do-do you want to... ?"

She lifted her head, at first unsure of what he meant. He was practically shaking, his body aching for release. "What?" she wondered.

"Do you want me to come in your mouth?" he asked her, briefly regaining back his power of speech.

Buffy's eyes widened a little. She had forgotten about that part. "Oh. Umm... do you want to?"

"Of course I want to. But since it's your first time and some girls don't like it..." His voice trailed off. It was up to her.

She thought about it. "I-I can try it."

"Are you sure? Because... oh, bloody hell!"

Buffy didn't give him time to argue, before dipping her head down and taking him in her mouth once again. His hips instinctively jolted forward, the head of his penis grazing the back of her throat. She tried her hardest not to gag, and slowly brought her lips back up, her tongue delving into his leaking slit.

"Buffy, fuck..." he ground out, feeling his body begin to convulse.

She braced herself, but continued her actions, as his cock jerked repeatedly and hot streams of liquid shot into her welcoming mouth. She swallowed him down, surprised at how delicious he tasted.

His body continued to shudder as a few more intense jets erupted from him, and Buffy eagerly drank down the rest of his seed. When his orgasm finally subsided, he fell back onto the bed with a sated sigh. She lifted her head, his softening penis escaping her lips, and crawled up his spent body.

"So, how'd I do?" she wondered anxiously, kissing him thoroughly on the mouth.

Spike wasted no time in wrapping his arms around his golden goddess. "You were fantastic, Buffy. God, that was the best blowjob I've ever had."

"Liar," she smiled.

He looked her in the eyes. "I am not lying."

She gulped, knowing that he wasn't. Then a sense of womanly pride washed over her and she giggled. "Well, thanks."

"No, thank you!" he corrected her. "And to think that was your first time. Jesus, Buffy. You surprise me more every day."

"What can I say? I'm full of surprises."

"That you are, love."

They lay there for a while, just listening to each other breathe. But it wasn't long before Spike flipped her over and began attacking her mouth with fevered kisses. She squeaked in surprise.

"What are you doing?" she asked, breathlessly.

He grinned, lowering his head to nibble at her neck. "Just returning the favor."