A/N thank you for all the reviews of the first part of Strange Bedfellows, if you are reading this, and it does not make sense, you need to go and read Strange Bedfellows, the beginning of this story. So here it is the originally titled Strange Bed Fellows 2!

DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to people a lot richer and important than me! I.e. Joss Whedon, ME etc.

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Strange Bedfellows 2

Chapter 1

False Alarms & New Horizons

It had been nearly two months ago since the shocking scene, of Buffy, plundering Spike's blood bags. Luckily for her, it had been a passing phase. She was now nearly four months pregnant and enjoyed the more traditional cravings. She sat on the armchair in their home, munching on a large peanut butter and pickle sandwich. She switched on the TV, and placed her free hand on the swell of her slightly rounded stomach.

When Buffy had experienced those early blood cravings, she had been terrified that she was becoming a vampire; it was her deepest fear. Not that she had anything against vampires, or at least one in particular, she smiled. Giles had discovered an ancient passage in one of his books that had laid her fears at rest, apparently it had been caused by the influence of the demon genes, but there was no reason for her to not have a perfectly normal, healthy child.

Spike, was at that moment, fast asleep in their lower domain. Exhausted from the night before, it had been busy at "Willies" the previous evening, Spike had recently been promoted to bar manager, something that Buffy was extremely proud of. It meant more money for them, but things were still tight, he refused to let her get a part time job to help out. It must be all those Victorian values of his "William" side coming out in him, she thought.

She knew she should be happy, she had a man who loved her, and a child, they could never had hoped to have, if it hadn't been for her fateful trip to the magic shop. Buffy sighed, it was all the inactivity that was getting to her, and there was still no new slayer in Sunnydale. She had to sit home night after night while her friends would come by to hook up with Spike, when it was his turn to patrol.

She switched off the TV and wandered back downstairs, with nothing else to do, she joined her husband on the bed, and she lay back and stared at the ceiling, letting out a deep sigh. A cold muscular arm wrapped it's self around her.

"What is it? Pet?" asked a sleepy male voice.

Buffy wanted to lie, to make Spike not worry, but the power of the Hakika demon was still too powerful.

"I just feel so useless, what am I supposed to do? Sit here and blow up like a beach ball for the next five months?" she asked.

Spike opened his blue eyes; he leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

" You'll still look sexy to me, what ever you look like, besides Giles has already told you, that you can help with the research Buffy," he said.

"Come on Spike, you know me, not much for the reading, more of an action kinda girl,"

"Don't I know it, keeping a job at "Willies" and keeping you satisfied is a full time gig," he grinned.

"Well, if I had something else to occupy me, I wouldn't be so "hot" all the time, I have to burn all this energy somehow and the slaying is out,"

"Hey! I wasn't complaining, I know what all this is about, you could go back to college with Willow, when she starts back next week," he suggested.

"Really?" she asked enthusiastically.

"Buffy I may be your husband, but I am not your lord and master, you always did what ever the hell you wanted in the past," he told her.

Buffy smiled.

"True, but do you think they will let me enrol, being pregnant and all?" she asked.

"Of course they will, it's not like you would be the first pregnant college girl in the history of the U.S. and if they don't let you, I'll bite them," he growled.

"Well, you'd better make sure you take a months worth of Tylenol with you on that mission," she giggled.

"Thanks for reminding me luv," he grimaced.

"I'm gonna go to mom's later, and ask Willow to come to the college with me, you look tired Spike, I'll leave you to get some rest".

Buffy started to get up off the bed; a hand snaked out and pulled her back down again.

"I'm not that tired pet, and there's a lot of time to kill until my next shift at the bar," he grinned licking his lower lip.

"It's so unfair! You always get me with the tongue thing," she sighed.

"Didn't you know, a man is most potent, first thing in the morning, you wouldn't want to leave me like this, would you?" he pouted.

"I should, it's more than you deserve, but I can be obliging, if you can," she said kissing him hard on the lips.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

It was late afternoon before Buffy finally managed to slip out of their crypt. She soon ate up the short distance to her mom's home. She burst through the front door,

"Mom?" she called out, walking into the lounge.

Buffy gasped as she saw the couple on the sofa.

"Mom! Giles!" she said in shocked awe.

Giles and Joyce sprang apart like a couple of scalded cats; Giles leant forward to search around for his missing specs. Joyce tried to straighten her ruffled hair and quickly buttoned up her blouse.

"Buffy, I er um wasn't expecting a visit today," stammered her mother.

"Yes er hello, every thing okay?" asked Giles.

"You ask me if everything is okay, I feel the morning sickness returning, you two haven't been indulging in chocolatey goodness again, have you?" Buffy asked.

"Love isn't just for the young Buffy, I am a woman too," her mother said.

"Don't sell yourself short Joyce, just because Buffy thinks anyone over 30 is dead from the neck up," said Giles looking pointedly at Buffy.

"How long has this been going on, and when were you going to tell me?" asked Buffy.

"Giles and I have been dating almost since you moved out," said Joyce defensively.

"Hey, don't get all self-protective mom, I think it's cool, always thought you two would make a great couple, just didn't want a visual of it, that's all," Grinned Buffy, going over to her mom, hugging her.

"Thanks Buffy," said Joyce.

Buffy turned and hugged her ex-watcher,

She whispered into his ear, " Break her heart and I'll bust your ass," she smiled at him, to take the sting out of her words.

"Not that my only child needs an excuse to visit, but is everything okay?" asked Joyce.

"Fine, couldn't be better, I was looking for Willow, is she here?" Buffy enquired.

"She was in her room, last time I checked," said Joyce.

Buffy turned to go upstairs; she looked back at her mom, shuddering as she saw Giles and Joyce share a kiss.

"Ewwww!" She muttered quietly under her breath, taking the stairs at a run.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Buffy knocked on Willow's door, the strains of Enya emanating from the room.

"Willow, it's me, Buffy, can I come in?" she asked.

Buffy heard Willow switch off the music and open the door.

"Hey Buff, how's it going?"

"Fine still kinda in shock, did you catch the love birds downstairs?" asked Buffy.

"Oh, you mean Giles and Joyce, that's been going on for awhile now," Shrugged willow.

"Why am I always the last know what's going on around here?" she asked resentfully.

"It's no big, they just thought you weren't ready to deal, that's all," Willow told her.

"Any way off topic, I came to see if you will go to UC Sunnydale with me tomorrow, I am thinking of enrolling part -time," Buffy asked.

"That's great, we can be study buddies," said Willow, enthusiastically.

"I have to see if they will be okay with this first," said Buffy, touching her tummy.

"Is that a little bump, I see there?" asked Willow.

"Yeah," she replied.

"Awww!" Cooed Willow.

Buffy sighed and sat down on the bed.

"What is it Buffy?" asked her friend in concern.

"Nothin' really it's just me, the Spike and I is good, he tries so hard to ensure my every happiness, it's just me, I feel useless, Spike won't let me get a job, things are tight money wise and I just want to do my share," said Buffy sadly.

"Well, that's what you get when you marry a guy from the 1880's Buffy, women's lib was just a by word in those days, we covered it in Maggie Walsh's class last year, remember?" asked Willow.

"I kinda missed it, too busy mooning over that loser, Parker Abrams, I guess," said Buffy.

"You could get a job and not tell him," suggested Willow.

"But wouldn't that be lying, you put paid to my days of fabricating remember?" asked Buffy trying to keep the resentment out of her voice.

"Well you'd be okay as long as he never asks you if you have got a job, and that's not very likely is it?" asked Willow.

"I guess not, but with this new found talent for honesty, I don't like lying to Spike, but I suppose it would be a case of don't ask, don't tell," Buffy smiled at her friend uncertainly.

"What the eye don't see the heart don't grieve over," giggled Willow.

"I hope you're right," said Buffy.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Spike had been at work for the past two hours, he was still feeling a little disappointed, that Buffy hadn't returned before he'd had to leave, but he couldn't afford to screw this job up, Buffy was getting wider around the middle, and that called for new clothes, to fit the growing mother. Not that he begrudged a penny spent on her. He often wished he could do more, it was hard going legit, and it certainly didn't pay as well as being a bad ass. Back in the old days, if he just wanted something then he took it. But he was determined not to do that any more, above all he wanted Buffy to be proud of him. Spike wiped down the bar, staring at it's shiny surface, lost in his thoughts.

"Any chance of some service around here?" asked a familiar voice.

Spike looked up.

"What you doing here Harris, Anya let you out all by yourself?" Spike asked raising an eyebrow.

"Hey, Anya doesn't rule me," protested Xander.

"Is that right? What time do you have to be home by, Mr free agent?" Asked Spike sarcastically.

Xander looked down at the floor.

"Nine," said Xander quietly.

"You like to live dangerously, but then again I wouldn't have thought this to be your kinda joint," mocked Spike.

"How about that beer?" snapped Xander

Spike uncapped a bottle and thrust it at Xander.

"Service with a smile, my favourite," said Xander.

"Well, if you don't like it here, why don't you piss off to the Bronze?" asked Spike.

Xander held up a hand.

"Sorry, just got a lot on my mind right now," he said apologetically.

"Well there's a first," mumbled Spike.

"What was that?" Xander asked.

"Nuthin, I get it, you wanna talk, and dead men don't tell tales, well in theory anyway," said Spike.

Xander stared at his beer.

"It's Anya, she thinks she might be pregnant too," blurted out Xander.

Spike frowned.

"And the father to be, is not so happy at the idea?" said Spike intuitively .

"Look at me, I'm 19 years old, my career in construction is only just starting to take off and I have the emotional maturity of a five year old," admitted Xander.

"Won't argue with that," said Spike.

"Not helping here," said Xander

"Look mate, you're stressing over nothing, has she even done a test yet?" Spike asked.

"No,"

Xander never got to reply, as Buffy walked in the bar, Spike stared at her open mouthed.

"Buffy, what are you doing?" asked Spike

"I didn't get to say goodbye before you left for work, and you won't be home until late, I missed you, it gets lonely in that big old crypt by myself," she pouted.

"Yeah, but it can get dangerous in here, and the smoke is not good for you and the baby," said Spike.

Buffy looked around the near empty room.

"Doesn't look too dangerous to me," she replied.

"Look I am due on a break, wanna come out back with me?" asked Spike.

"Only as long as it involves a kiss to make up for earlier," she smiled.

"I think I can do better that that," leered Spike.

Spike lifted up the counter and Buffy came behind the bar. Buffy turned belatedly remembering Xander was there..

"Hi and Bye, Xander," she quickly said before disappearing out the back.

Xander turned as Anya entered the bar, he looked at his watch, and it was only eight- thirty.

"What is it hun?" asked Xander

"No baby, look see," she said holding out a pregnancy test.

Xander held his sigh of relief in.

"We don't want to advertise, our sex life to the demon world, honey," said Xander snatching the indicator out of her hand.

Xander winced as he could hear groans coming from the storage room.

"Oh, you mean like the people in there? It sounds like, Spike that better be Buffy he's having the loud sex with," said Anya.

"And that's our cue to adios out of here," said Xander, grabbing Anya.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Thanks for coming with me Willow," said Buffy.

"That's ok Buff, it's all part of the, one day you will forgive me for the spell service," smiled Willow.

"What's to forgive, I got my man, and a baby as a bonus, I love Spike so much, who would have thought an evil blood sucking fiend, could be so transformed, he truly is the best man I know," said Buffy.

They neared the front entrance of UC Sunnydale, Buffy hung back a little.

"What is it Buffy?" asked Willow.

"I'm just a little scared, never been any good with principles, deans or whatever," Buffy admitted.

Willow put an arm around her friend.

"Don't worry Buffy, you'll walk it," Willow assured her.

The interview went better than Buffy had hoped for, the dean was a middle aged motherly type, who seemed more inclined to talk about Buffy's coming baby, than the academic programme.

"There, that wasn't so bad, was it?" asked Willow.

"I guess not, I have to go register for my chosen courses," said Buffy.

"Love to come with, but I have to go find out about my on campus accommodation, you'll be okay?" asked Willow.

"Well let's hope your roomie is better than my room mate from hell, quite literally," smiled Buffy.

"Yes, I will have to watch out for growing toe nail clippings and Celine Dion posters," gasped Willow in mock horror.

"Meet you back here in an hour?" asked Buffy.

"K, see ya," said Willow, turning away.

Buffy walked off, she smiled secretly to herself, if Spike had known some of the goings on campus, demon wise, he would have whipped out of there quicker than you could say "home study" She had decided to take Psychology again, with the warm and fuzzy professor Walsh, and Modern and classic poetry, she'd always been a bit of a sucker for poetry, she just hoped it didn't involve her having to write it. She walked idly down the corridors; she turned the corner, gasping as she saw her nemesis, Parker Abrams, strolling casually towards her.

"Buffy, hey how's it going?" he asked.

"You're an ass hole Parker," she replied.

"Nice to see you too Buffy, but by the looks of you, you've managed to leg shackle some poor loser," he said pointedly looking at her stomach.

"Parker," said Buffy.

"Yes?" he asked

Buffy made a fist and punched him hard, he yelped in pain, clutching his bleeding nose.

"What the hell was that for?" he asked.

"Isn't pay back a bitch," she smiled.

Buffy continued down the corridor with not so much as a backward glance, arriving at the admissions office, knocking on the door, she entered the room and was handed the appropriate forms, scanning the list of names that would be attending her classes, she breathed a sigh of relief as she saw Parker's was not in either of them, her finger came to rest at the last name added, Daniel Osbourne. So Oz was back, wonder why Willow didn't mention it, she thought.

TBC

Chapter 2

A Case Of The Ex

"Spike! I'm home," called Buffy, she shut the crypt door, and flopped down in the nearest armchair. Spike's head popped up from the hole in the floor.

"So how did it go?" he asked, climbing up and walking over to Buffy to plant a kiss on her lips.

"Fine," she answered distractedly.

"You don't sound too sure luv,"

Buffy shook her head.

"It went fine for me, it's Willow I'm worried about, Oz is back, I found out today in the admissions office, told her about it, thinking she must already know," sighed Buffy.

"And she had no idea? Wolf boy is back in the mix then?" asked Spike.

"Looks like it, Willow didn't take the news too well, she rushed off to find Devon as soon as I told her," said Buffy.

"One of his friends?" asked Spike.

"A band member," answered Buffy vaguely.

Buffy could see that Spike had already lost interest as he had walked over to the fridge, his head already buried in it's interior. He held up a blood bag.

"Fancy one?" he asked mischievously.

"Thanks for reminding me, I haven't craved the taste of blood in weeks now," she said huffily.

Spike's features morphed into his game face, as he quickly drained the bag he held, he burped loudly.

"You're a pig Spike," she grinned.

"And don't you love it? I make you squeal,"

Buffy flushed, Spike chuckled.

"It's so easy to get a rise out of you slayer,"

"Look who's talking, one smouldering glance from me, and you're ready for anything," she replied.

"Haven't heard you complain so far, I love you so bloody much, can't help it, if I love showing you just how much," he said.

Buffy was instantly repentant, she sprang up from her seat, putting her arms around her husband; he ruffled her hair and kissed the top of her head.

"I'm sorry Spike, it's just the hormones talking," she said.

" Yeah read about them, nasty little buggers. So what have you signed up for at college love?" he asked, eager to change the subject.

"Psychology, and Modern and classical poetry," she answered.

"Poetry?" he asked interestedly.

"Yeah, I love it," said Buffy.

"I know a bit about the subject myself, even written a bit, in my time," he admitted.

Buffy giggled.

"What?" asked Spike.

"Sorry Spike, just never had you down as the poetic type, I guess,"

"There's a lot you don't know about me," said Spike.

"Well I intend to live a very long life and spend my time discovering it, except for the icky parts," she smiled.

"Speaking of time, got anything planned for the next couple of hours?" asked Spike.

Buffy raised an eyebrow.

"Well if you need me to spell it out for you, do you think you're smart enough for college?" he asked.

Buffy pulled his head down,

"I am so damn good, I'll be top of the class," she said crushing her lips to his.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A week later, Buffy rode the bus on the five mile journey to UC Sunnydale, she hadn't had much chance to talk to Willow since the "Oz incident" Willow had moved onto campus soon after. It was her first day back; and her stomach was a mass of butterflies. She smiled secretly to herself, remembering Spike, how he had got up early, even after his late night at work, and had made her lunch, which happened to be tuna and banana sandwiches, her latest fad. Buffy knew some of her peers at college might judge her for marrying and starting a family so young, but she had been living by the motto, live fast and die young, for so long that old habits died hard.

The bus arrived on campus, Willow was waiting for her, and she was looking pale and tired. Buffy frowned in concern. She hadn't been a very good friend lately, mentally kicking herself for not checking on Willow before now. She knew all too well what had happened last time they had all ignored the grievy Willow. Buffy got off the bus and hugged her friend.

"Hey Willow," she greeted her.

Willow replied with a weak smile.

"Heard anything?" asked Buffy.

"No, I went to see Devon, after I left you, also I checked the house he used to rent off campus, nothing, nada," sighed Willow.

"I'm sure Oz has his reasons Will, it's not like him to be deliberately cruel, there must be a simple explanation for it all, he should be in Walsh's Psych class, not the perfect place for a reunion, granted, but better than nothing," said Buffy.

"Yeah that's if he even shows," replied Willow gloomily.

"Come on Willow, stop seeing bad, where there is none, come with me, I want to check out the notice board in the hall for possible employment opportunities," said Buffy.

"Anything to take my mind off Oz," she shrugged nonchalantly.

They walked to the student hall, the notice board was a mass of multi- coloured scraps of paper. Willow plucked one off, and read it out.

"Local night club, requires female exotic dancers, you up for that Buffy?" grinned Willow.

"Well, my boobs are certainly getting big enough, since I got in the family way, Spike says they will get bigger yet, he's counting the days quite literally," said Buffy innocently.

Willow flushed wishing she'd never got on the subject, truth not always a good thing, she made a mental note to herself. She quickly located another job slip.

"This is perfect for you Buffy, there's a job going right here on campus, in the crèche, you'll be surrounded by babies all day, just think of all practice you'll be able to get in, and get paid for it at the same time," said Willow enthusiastically.

Buffy looked less than convinced.

"At least go and enquire about it," said Willow.

"What if I find out, babies and I are unmixy things, like my driving abilities?" asked Buffy.

"Well if that's the case, Spike better start brushing up on his skills," replied Willow.

Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Don't even go there Will, he's read every baby book in the English language, it's very disturbing to have a man know more about what's happening to my body, than I do, I'll go ask about this job thingy at lunch recess," said Buffy.

Buffy looked at her watch.

"Time to go to class, wish me luck," said Buffy.

"Luck, see ya later Buffy, you'll be okay, me, I'm not so sure about," said Willow.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Buffy entered her classroom; it consisted mainly of young girls, who obviously had a "thing" for poetry too. She looked at the other occupants of the room, several of the girls looked at her and whispered behind their hands. Buffy felt her face flush; she sat down alone in an unobtrusive corner. She sighed inwardly, wishing that Willow were poetically inclined, so she would at least have a friend with her.

Buffy delved into her bag and pulled out her text books, she opened the front page and was greeted by the site of a neon pink "post it note" with a smiley fangy face drawn on it with a little message scrawled at the bottom in an elegant hand. It said, "If you felt the happiness I experienced when you walk into a room, you'd never have a reason to feel sad again" love Spike. Buffy felt the tears well up in her eyes, DAMN THESE PREGNANCY HORMONES! She thought. Buffy turned and faced the class, a big grin on her face.

The morning passed pretty quickly, she hurried to meet Willow in the lunch hall; she was already seated, picking idly at her food. Buffy sat down and unpacked her lunch; she took a big bite of her sandwich. Willow looked up.

"Ewwww! What you got in those, it reeks, I think my appetite just left the building," said Willow

"Banana and tuna fish, want some? It's delicious," said Buffy.

Willow shook her head and pushed her tray away, giving up all pretence of eating, she sat and watched Buffy devour her bizarre meal.

"Come on Buffy, you can eat while we walk," said Willow.

"Where we going?" Asked Buffy in between mouthfuls.

Willow pulled her friend out of the chair.

"Uh uh, you don't get off that easily," said Willow.

"Actually I do, Spike says."

"Buffy if you want us to stay friends, you won't finish that sentence, I blame myself, talk about one bad thing leading to another!" said Willow quickly interrupting her.

Buffy shrugged. "It's just that."

"No!" said Willow.

"Okay let's go to the crèche then, I won't get any peace until I do," said Buffy.

"Thanks Buffy, I need to chill, have to be doing something to take my mind off; if I harass another short red headed guy today, security will throw me off campus for sure," said Willow.

Buffy looked at her open mouthed, about to speak.

"Don't ask," said Willow.

They walked over to the crèche building, Willow knocked on the door. A harassed looking young woman opened it.

"Please tell me you've come about the job," the woman asked hopefully.

"No, but she has," said Willow shoving Buffy forward and making a hasty exit.

Buffy stood in speechless horror at the site of half a dozen drooling infants, she had the feeling that facing the armies of darkness was going to be a piece of cake compared to this.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Thanks for bailing on me back there," said Buffy as she sat down for class.

"My pleasure, what are friends for? How'd it go any way? " Asked Willow.

"Quite good actually, will be having a go at the actual child caring tomorrow, and she lent me this," said Buffy, removing videotape from her bag.

Willow read the label.

"Childbirth made easy, Buffy do you think you're ready for that?" asked Willow.

"Well it doesn't hurt to be prepared," said Buffy defensively.

Willow opened her mouth to speak, but the words died on her tongue. Oz entered the room with Professor Walsh on his heels. Buffy looked at her friend, noticing her sudden pallor.

"What is it Willow?" she asked, turning her head in the direction Willow was transfixed to.

"Oz," said Willow.

Willow locked gazes with Oz, she rose slowly up out of her seat, and she ran to him, putting her arms around him, tears running down her face. He said nothing, but hugged her back so hard; she thought she would break in two.

Professor Walsh coughed loudly behind them.

"This is a classroom for learning, either control your hormones or you can leave my class," she said coldly.

Willow and Oz continued to gaze at each other.

"Out!" yelled the professor, losing her usual icy detachment.

Willow and Oz smiled at each other and linked hands, they walked out of the room without a backward glance.

"Anyone else?" asked the professor.

Buffy tried hard to keep her hands by her side, but the honesty thing threatened to take over once more and she involuntarily raised her hand.

"Yes?" Asked Professor Walsh.

"I want to leave too, you are the coldest excuse for a human being, I have ever had the misfortune to meet, Willow and Oz haven't seen each other for weeks, show some compassion," said Buffy angrily.

"Compassion is a luxury for the weak," Maggie replied.

"Is that based on fact or is it just one of your dumb ass observations?" asked Buffy.

The class burst into a fit of giggles, the professor turned an unbecoming shade of red.

"Get out, and don't even try to come back until you have learnt some respect," she roared.

"Maybe you should try earning it first," said Buffy

Buffy shrugged and flounced out of the class, her head held high. She walked out into the corridor, expecting to see Willow and Oz, but the passage was deserted. Buffy let out a disappointed sigh,

"Nothin' left to do, but go home I guess," she said to herself.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Buffy arrived back at the crypt an hour later, feeling more than a little tired and fed up, Spike was watching "passions" on the TV and taping it at the same time, something she never understood as he never seemed to watch them again.

"Home early love," said Spike in surprise.

"Was a bad girl, got sent out of class," she replied.

"There I was thinking you were an angel, I'm shocked! So what happened?" he asked.

"Told the professor what I thought of her, she didn't like it much," she said.

"Never mind there's always tomorrow," he said comfortingly.

"Yeah, if I don't get kicked out," she replied

"Passions has finished, want to do something?" he asked

"Yeah I got this birthing video from college, we could watch that," she said.

"Not exactly what I had in mind, but ok I guess," Spike said.

He took the tape from Buffy and inserted it into the VCR.

"This should be interesting, I have read all about it," he said enthusiastically.

The video started up, as it progressed, Buffy's face turned whiter and whiter, she gripped Spike's hand hard but he didn't seem to notice, she looked at him and was surprised to see he had gone all bumpy in the forehead.

"What's with the lumpies Spike?" she asked.

"This video, it's bloody brilliant, do you think we could keep it?" he asked.

"Ewwww! And no it's a loaner, and why?" she asked not sure if she wanted an answer.

"Never knew there would be so much blood and carnage, worse than anything I've ever done for sure,"

Buffy scoffed.

"I doubt that, it's okay for you to get off on it, but I actually have to go through that!" she said.

Spike saw his wife's frightened expression for the first time.

"Sorry love wasn't thinking, kinda got caught in the moment, you'll be okay, you have slayer powers remember, that has to count for something," he said pulling her into a tight embrace.

"I guess," she said, feeling a little better.

Spike looked at the high windows in their home.

"Sun's going down, have to go and earn our crust of bread," he sighed.

Buffy kissed him.

"Did I ever tell you how much I love you?" she asked

"Yes, but a guy can never get tired of hearing it," he grinned disappearing below to get ready.

Spike re-emerged a few moments later.

"You gonna be okay love?" he asked

"Sure, you'd better get going, don't want to be late, you know Willie can get cranky," she smiled

"That guy would as soon crap himself, if I so much as looked at him funny," said Spike.

Buffy and Spike kissed, reluctant to part, Spike turned and exited the crypt. Buffy sat down feeling slightly deflated, as the lonely evening stretched ahead of her, she settled down, the TV being the only entertainment in the absence of Spike. She heard the outer door of the crypt open; she smiled and turned her head.

"Did you forget your work keys again?" she asked.

The colour in her face, leeched out, she gasped in shock.

"Angel?" she said.

TBC

Chapter 3

Must you be going so soon?

Angel stood in the doorway, looking at Buffy.

"You gonna invite me in then?" he asked.

"Didn't think it applied to crypts," she answered,

"It doesn't, was just being polite," Angel replied.

Buffy hesitated, she finally relented.

"Come in Angel," she said flatly.

"Took awhile to find you, went to the house first, no one was in, so I had to use my keen sense of smell," he smiled.

Buffy didn't return the smile, she stood there with her arms folded, Angel walked towards her, he held out his arms to embrace her, he drew back, as something occurred to him.

"What are you doing in a crypt, are you patrolling?" he asked.

"No I live here," she replied.

"Had a falling out with your mom again?" he asked

"I live here by choice, with my husband," she finished awkwardly.

Angel gawped at her.

"Is it that guy I saw you taking to outside the Espresso Pump, last time I was here?" he asked.

"You mean when you decided to drop in with out so much as a hello, were you spying on me?" she asked indignantly.

"No, I was watching out for you," he replied.

"Well I don't need anyone to watch my back thanks, and I don't think you should be here," she replied.

"Who is your husband Buffy?" Angel persisted.

Buffy's hands balled up at her sides in resentment, she really didn't need this right now.

"Spike," she answered.

Angel threw his head back and laughed.

"Very amusing, who is it really?"

Buffy looked him in the eyes,

"It's Spike, choose not to believe me I don't care, we've been together for ten months, four of those months we have been married," she said angrily.

There was something in her expression and her tone of voice, which convinced Angel that she was being deadly serious.

"And there's more," she continued.

"You've just told me that you are married to Spike, I am still trying to take that in," he said

Buffy sighed.

"I'll always care for you Angel, but it's Spike I love, he is the other half of me, with him I have discovered the meaning of real love, I couldn't bear a life that didn't have him in it, I am sorry if that hurts you, it wasn't my intention," Buffy said.

Angel nodded slowly in acceptance of Buffy's words.

"Why did you really come here Angel?" she asked

"Almost forgot, with all the happy news and soul bearing, ok, a friend of mine saw a vision, it was sketchy to say the least, but I came to warn you Buffy, you are in danger," he replied.

"Did this friend say whom I am in danger from?" she asked frowning.

"Sorry can't be more help, are you sure it's not Spike?" he asked.

"No, he couldn't hurt me if he wanted to, he has a government chip in his head, if he even tries to hurt someone, he gets blinding pain in his head, but I trust him, if the chip was to come out tomorrow, I truly believe he wouldn't hurt me," she said.

"You really have it bad Buffy, don't you?" asked Angel.

"You'd better go, I don't think it would be good for Spike to see you, he still has issues, I will be telling him I bumped into you though, I owe him that much," Buffy said.

"Hope this works out for you Buffy, I truly do, I only ever wanted for you to be happy, must admit would of thought you would have settled down with someone else besides "William the Bloody" Guess I'd better be off then, working on a big case back home, they'll fall apart without me there," he sighed.

"Take care Angel, hope you find the same happiness I have," she said giving him a quick platonic hug, Buffy and Angel still in each other's arms turned as the crypt door opened, Spike stood there staring at the couple,

"Forgot my keys, what's your excuse Buffy?" he asked accusingly.

"Hey this is not how it looks," said Angel

"Get your hands off my wife," said Spike with quiet menace in his voice.

Angel's hands immediately dropped to his sides and he moved away from Buffy.

"Nice to see you too Spike, last time we met you had me at a disadvantage, if I remember rightly," snarled Angel.

"That was then," said Spike.

Angel turned to Buffy,

"As we seem to be getting things off our chest, last time Spike and I met, he nearly had me tortured to death, all over that gem of Amara, and you tell me you think he's not dangerous," said Angel.

Spike vamped out and went for Angel, taking him off guard; he punched him hard in the face, knocking him to the ground. Angel kicked Spike's feet out from under him, they both rolled around on the floor trying to get in punches.

"Stop it! Stop it!" screamed Buffy.

Neither of the vampires seemed to hear her, she went over to the weapons chest and took out a pair of stakes; the duelling pair had managed to get to their feet. Buffy stepped in between them both, her stakes raised at both their chests. They stopped perfectly still.

"Unless you want my rug to get very dusty, you two will pack it in now," she yelled.

Spike was instantly contrite.

"Sorry Buffy, didn't mean to upset you, didn't think, it's not good for the baby either," he said softly.

Angel looked from Buffy to Spike.

"Baby? Who's having a baby?" asked Angel.

"Its Buffy, who'd you bloody think it was? Me? You great poof" Asked Spike sarcastically.

"Buffy?" said Angel.

"It's true, Spike's the father, it's a long story," Admitted Buffy.

"I love long stories," said Angel.

"Well what a pity you won't get to hear this one," said Spike.

"I should just leave you two alone to get on with it, if I didn't want a home to come back to," she glared at them both.

Spike folded his arms and looked at Angel,

"Don't have a problem with that, if Buffy wants to step out for awhile," said Spike.

Buffy threw her stakes on the floor.

"I am going to bed, you know where to find me Spike, bye Angel thanks for the warning," she said.

Buffy walked over to the ladder and descended to the lower level.

"I don't want to fight you Spike," said Angel.

"Why? Afraid I'll ruin your fetching hair style?" asked Spike.

"I don't have time for this, I have to get back to L.A. tonight," Angel replied.

"Don't let me stop you," said Spike.

Angel looked at Spike.

"If you hurt her," said Angel.

"She's not your concern mate, what's all this talk about Buffy being in danger?" asked Spike.

"Go ask her yourself," said Angel disobligingly.

"Well you'll be on your merry way then, must need to hurry before that smashing hair goes flat," said Spike.

"How'd you do it Spike?" asked Angel.

"If you mean how did I knock up Buffy, well lots of unbridled sex of course and a nifty little wedding gift from my bride on our wedding night," said Spike smugly, he lifted the pendant from beneath his black shirt and showed it to Angel.

"A spell?" asked Angel.

"Not so much a spell as a fertility goddess, maybe I could lend it to you, with you firing blanks and all," said Spike.

"Bye Spike, have a nice unlife," said Angel

"Don't worry I will thanks granddad," said Spike, shutting the crypt door in Angel's face.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Buffy lay on the bed, not feeling at all sleepy, she heard the crypt door close above, then total silence, Spike climbed down the ladder, he walked over to Buffy laying next to her on the bed.

"Sorry pet, you ok?" asked Spike.

"Fine, just got a lot on my mind right now, Angel told me I am in danger, can't think where, the rest of the gang aren't researching any big bads right now," said Buffy anxiously.

"I am sure peaches is brooding over nothing as usual, but it wouldn't hurt to be cautious Buffy, if anything ever happened to you and the baby, I'd take up sunbathing," said Spike.

"I'm scared Spike, it's not just me I have to worry about, it's our child too, which reminds me, doctors appointment tomorrow, we can find out if the baby is a boy or girl, do you want to know?" asked Buffy.

"Already know it's going to be a boy, can take him to football games," he grinned.

"Better hope there's a lot of night games then," giggled Buffy.

"Seriously, I don't care either way, just as long as it's healthy, if the baby takes after it's mother, then it will be beautiful," he smiled at her tenderly.

"Have you looked in the mirror lately Spike? Oops, sorry guess not, but my point is, you're pretty hot yourself," she replied.

"Only pretty hot?" he asked pretending to sound offended.

"One day we'll have to take time to consider some names," said Buffy.

"Well I can tell you now, Liam and Angel are out," he said.

Buffy sighed.

"It wasn't me who brought it up, grow up Spike," she said

"Bit hard pet, I'm kind of frozen in time in the maturity stakes," he reminded her.

"Spike stay with me tonight, I don't want to be alone," she begged.

"Of course I will love, Willie can go get shagged, might be his first time, any way the little weasel has a spare set of keys, if he don't like it, I'll just vamp out, that usually scares the crap out of him," said Spike.

Buffy put his hand on her swelling tummy.

"Hold us, when I am in your arms the rest of the world goes away," she sighed sleepily.

Spike held his precious family in his arms, stroking her soft hair, he could feel the life they had created together stir beneath his hand. He smiled contentedly and closed his eyes.

TBC

Chapter 4

Be careful what you wish for

Buffy rolled over in bed, she flung out her arm, but the space where her husband should have been was empty. She yawned and stretched, rising out of the bed. She wasn't looking forward to today, all those drooling babies in the crèche centre, nothing like being thrown in at the deep end, she mused, but would she sink or swim?

Buffy could hear sounds from above, it sounded like Spike was busy making her something to eat, she wasn't sure her stomach was up to it, but she didn't want to hurt his feelings. It was their doctor's appointment today, her usual doctor was on vacation, something Buffy was grateful for after the last time, when she had almost done it with Spike on the examination couch and the doctor had been witness to it.

Buffy listened, she thought she could hear Spike, singing upstairs, her ears must be deceiving her, she giggled at the idea. Buffy quickly dressed and crept slowly up the ladder; she popped her head up through the hole. Spike had his back to her; busy making coffee, oblivious to her presence.

She had heard right, Spike was singing softly to himself, she was surprised by the quality of his voice; she savoured the sound of it for a few stolen moments. Spike turned around, seeing Buffy there he almost spilled his coffee.

"Bleedin' Hell slayer, give a guy a heart attack," he said.

"Need a beating heart for one of those," she reminded him.

"You know what I mean," Spike replied.

"You have a good voice, why's you never tell me?" asked Buffy.

"Doesn't go with the image of being the big bad, would you be scared of an all singing and dancing vampire?" Spike asked.

"You dance too?"

"No forget I said that, if you wanna watch a dance recital, I am sure peaches would oblige, he ballets real good," said Spike sarcastically.

"That's not ballet, it's a martial art," she replied.

"Yeah right, if that's what they are calling it these days, remember I spent a long time with the wanker, before he went all soul having," he said.

"I wondered when the Angel bashing would commence, I keep thinking that because you are older than me, that you'd have a bit of maturity, boy was I mistaken," she said

Buffy snatched the coffee cup out of Spike's hand, she took a quick swallow and slammed it down on a nearby coffin and closed the door with such force that it shook on it's hinges.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Buffy arrived at college, half an hour later, feeling extremely out of sorts. She hated arguing with Spike, she knew she was being intolerant; after all she'd dated enough vampires by now to know snarky behaviour was all part of the package. Buffy only had one class today and that was psyche with Walsh, her day was going from bad to worse. Then there was the crèche thingy to look forward to after lunch, why had she even bothered getting out of bed, she thought to her self.

She looked across the campus, Willow and Oz were walking slowly towards her, they were holding hands and smiling, maybe things were looking up after all.

"Hey Willow, Hey Oz, how's it going?" asked Buffy

"Good, you?" asked Oz

"Great, how was China?"

"Good," he said.

"Ever the conversationalist Oz," said Buffy wryly.

"Not really a lot to tell, Buff, Oz said it was a silent order, well most of the time anyway," shrugged Willow.

"Sorry I didn't let you all know I was back in Sunnydale, it was the first night of the full moon the other night, just wanted to make I sure my little problem was fixed," Explained oz.

"I can understand that," sympathised Buffy.

"Yeah, I guess you do at that, Willow told me, you have your own little fangy monster to cuddle up to now," said Oz, raising an eye brow at her.

"It was great last night Buffy, there was a full moon and everything and Oz didn't change," said Willow.

"How'd you know Willow? You must have spent the whole night with him," said Buffy unable to resist teasing her friend.

Willow blushed and remained silent.

"In answer to your earlier question Oz, yes I do have a fangy creature of the night to cuddle up to, Spike," she finished.

"Spike? I just assumed it was Angel, and you'd found a way to get past that pesky curse thing," said Oz looking shocked.

"No, it's the Spike that you all know, and only I love," said Buffy.

"Yeah, and they're having a baby, but that's nothing to do with me," said Willow.

"Well of course not, you only cast a spell on your friend, so she and her mortal enemy ran off and got married," said Oz.

"Ooh, look at the time, we'd better move it if we don't want to be late for class," said Willow.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Buffy sat alone in the lunch hall, Willow and Oz had failed to show, and Buffy guessed they were making up for lost time again. She kinda felt like a third wheel at the moment. She quickly finished her food and made it over to the crèche facility, she could hear the babies screaming about a hundred meters before she even got there. Buffy knocked loudly on the door, just to make sure she would be heard above the din. A strange woman opened the door, Buffy frowned.

"Hi, maybe I should come back later," said Buffy.

"Hi, come in, you are the new nursery assistant, yes? Vickie told me about you, she called in sick today, I'm her replacement, Halfrek, but you can call me Hallie," smiled the young woman.

"Hi Hallie, I'm Buffy Lovejoy," replied Buffy.

"Nice to meet you Buffy, I'm sure you'll fit right in," said Hallie.

"Not so sure about that," sighed Buffy.

"Here this one's diaper needs changing, an excellent place to start," said Hallie handing a chubby boy baby to Buffy.

Buffy caught a whiff, of just what needed changing, she felt the bile rise up in her throat.

"Bathroom! Quick!" said Buffy.

"Through there," said Hallie quickly.

Buffy became reacquainted with her lunch, she rested her head against the toilet bowl, taking a minute to recover, slowly rising, she washed her face with cold water and went back into the main room, just in time to see Hallie finish changing the little boy, Buffy had run away from.

"Sorry about that, I have a bit of a weak stomach right now," said Buffy apologetically.

"Oh yes, your pregnant right?" asked Hallie.

"Either that or I've been over doing it on the snacking," said Buffy, rubbing her tummy.

" A sense of humour too? Any way, it must help to have a husband to share it all with," said Hallie.

"You'd think, don't mean to sound ungrateful, he's a wonderful vamp er guy, but he's a little too protective, if he knew I was here right now, he'd be very annoyed," sighed Buffy.

"Oh I see, money's short and he doesn't like the idea of you working?" asked Hallie.

"Something like that, but before the baby I had a much more physical means of employment, even if the pay was lousy," said Buffy.

"Let me guess, he's not being very understanding of how you feel right now?"

"I love being pregnant, don't get me wrong, we really want this baby, but I am finding the restrictions hard, I just wish Spike could be pregnant for a week, so he could understand how I feel," sighed Buffy.

Hallie turned away from her, her face morphed into her demon visage.

"Wish granted," she said, before quickly changing back to her human form.

"What was that?" asked Buffy.

"Nothing, shall we get on with the children's lunches?" asked Hallie brightly.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Spike, I'm home," said Buffy.

Spike jumped out of the shadows, putting his arms around Buffy's thickening waist.

"Sorry about this morning pet," he breathed in her ear.

Buffy's arm came around the back of his neck.

"I am sorry too, didn't mean to be a grouch," she said.

Spike's left hand worked its way up Buffy's body, resting on her breast. She gasped at the sensation, he turned her around.

"Feel like kissing and making up, I know I do," he purred.

"I noticed, time's getting on though," she smiled

"We have plenty of time before the doc's appointment," he pouted.

"Yeah guess you're right, and I am feeling very neglected right now, 24 hours is a long time," she answered.

Spike crushed his lips to hers; he lifted her off the floor and slowly let her body fall down his.

"If we carry on like this, we're not gonna make it to the bedroom," he said

"I don't have a problem with that, that rug looks comfy," she said licking her lips.

"I've married a hussy, thank God," he growled before lowering her gently to the floor.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Buffy was the first to awaken after their lovemaking. She propped herself on one elbow, tracing patterns on her husbands naked skin. She watched in fascination as the flesh puckered beneath her touch. Spike shifted about in his sleep, a contented smile on his face. Buffy's hand went lower, tracing the smooth planes of his torso, Buffy feeling extremely saucy, looked lower. Her eyes widened, all the blood left her face, as she opened her mouth and screamed. Spike sat up with a start, looking at Buffy.

"Bloody hell, Buffy what is it?" he asked

"Look!" she said, pointing at his stomach.

"What?" said Spike, still confused from his slumber.

"You, you're pregnant," said Buffy

"Don't be so bloody stupid, oh bollocks," He said looking lower.

Buffy touched her own stomach, it was back in it's usual flat pre-pregnant state.

"And I'm not pregnant, where's my baby gone?" she wailed.

"I'll give you one guess, Oh my God, I think I am gonna be sick," said Spike putting a hand to his mouth.

"Don't tell me this is some weird vampire thing, where we take turns being pregnant?" Asked Buffy desperately.

"How the bleedin' hell should I know, I need a drink," he snapped.

"Don't you dare, not in your condition," said Buffy firmly.

"What the, I don't understand how this could have happened," said Spike.

"We need to find Giles, and call a Scooby meeting said Buffy.

"No we don't, there's no way I'm going public with this, If I get stretch marks, I'm gonna kill you Mrs Lovejoy," he groaned.

"Oh that's right, immediately assume it's my fault, of course we need our friends help," said Buffy angrily.

"Well how am I even going to be able to leave the crypt? My black jeans will never do up in a million years," said Spike.

"that's the least of your worries, I will go and see Giles, I'm sure he will have something in your new size," said Buffy.

"Very bloody funny, just be quick ok," he said.

Buffy slipped on her coat, doing it up, so as not to alert the casual onlooker that her pregnant status had altered. She was freaking out inside , but she needed to be strong for Spike, she looked at him.

"You look like you have a paunch," she said.

"Not helping, let's just get this bleeding sorted," he said frowning.

"Amen to that," said Buffy as she hurried off to find Giles.

TBC

Chapter 5

The Man Who Would be Mom

Buffy hurried over to Giles's apartment, she hammered desperately on the door.

"Okay, okay," muttered Giles grumpily, opening the door.

"Giles, we need your help, it's an emergency," said Buffy.

"It had better be, now's not a good time," he replied.

Buffy looked at her former watcher,

"It's late afternoon and you're in your dressing gown," said Buffy, puzzled.

"Um yes, well I was feeling very sleepy," said Giles

"Was that my mom's car parked outside? Ewwww, could my day get any worse, anyway we need to call an emergency meeting, something terrible has happened," said Buffy.

"What is it? Some new demon threat?" asked Giles

"Well it definitely involves a demon, it's Spike, he's er pregnant," finished Buffy in a rush.

"Yes very droll, you think of that all by yourselves?" asked Giles.

Buffy undid her jacket, exposing her flat stomach.

"It's true, look the baby has somehow been transferred from my body to his," she said

Giles started laughing.

"Hey it's not funny, I came to you for help,"

Giles wiped away a tear.

"Sorry will get right on it, I'll start phoning the others and we'll meet at your mom's home, in shall we say an hour's time?" he asked.

"Fine, oh and before I forget, could Spike borrow some of your sweat pants? He's a bit wider around the middle right now," said Buffy.

"Oh thank you very much!" said Giles in indignation.

"What?" asked Buffy innocently.

"You, saying I'm fat, well implying my clothes would be big enough for an expectant, for the want of a better word father," said Giles.

"Please?" she pleaded.

Giles disappeared up the stairs, and quickly returned with some pants.

"Have to go, see you back at the house, bye Mom!" she called loudly up the stairs.

Joyce poked her head out from under the bedcovers, but her daughter was already gone.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Thank God you're back, it's getting worse," said Spike.

"Is it the baby?" asked Buffy in concern.

"Baby is fine, felt it moving about in here," he said touching his stomach.

"Well what is it then?" she asked

"I just had to do something, I haven't done in nearly 120 years," he said

Buffy frowned.

"I just took a leak," he said in abject horror.

"That I would have liked to have seen, no take that back, that kinda came out wrong," said Buffy.

"And my nipples feel all sensitive, I don't like it," he said.

Buffy stifled a giggle.

"Just be glad you're not the whole nine months, otherwise you'd be the one having the baby," she said.

"Oh God, what if I'm stuck like this until the baby's due, where would it get out?" he asked.

"Well that's what we are going to sort out, don't get your panties in a budge, talking of pants, here you go," she said chucking the borrowed sweat pants at her husband.

"Thanks, I didn't know they did sweat pants in tweed, they look big enough for some one at full term," he grumbled.

"Just be grateful, I could have asked Xander," she said.

"Not bloody likely, have you seen the whelp's wardrobe?" asked Spike.

"Stop bitchin' and get ready, we have to get over to mom's home within the hour," she sighed.

"This is going to be the most humiliating day of my life," he groaned.

"Besides all my spectacular kicking's of your ass in the past," she said.

"What was that?" said Spike.

"Nuthin' I said it was way past time we were out of here," said Buffy innocently.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Anya and Xander arrived at Buffy's former home.

"This had better be good, Tuesday night is fantasy night, Xander gets me to dress up as a," said Anya, cut off by Xander before she could finish.

"Yes enough already Anya, I don't think the others want to know," said Xander blushing fiery red.

"You're so rude, you are always cutting me off mid sentence," frowned Anya.

"Hey Oz, so you're back then, How was China?" asked Xander.

"Good," said Oz laconically.

"Not really much to tell," said Willow.

Giles came in from the kitchen.

"Good you're all here," Said Giles.

"What about the guests of honour? Spike & Buffy," asked Willow.

"I thought it best to prepare for why we're here, before they arrive," said Giles, taking off his glasses and cleaning them.

"Oh it's a secret? Are we planning a baby shower?" asked Anya.

"Well it does involve the happy couple and their baby," Giles replied.

The front door opened, as Buffy and Spike came in through it.

"Hi guys, the gangs all here, that's good, have you filled them in yet Giles?" asked Buffy.

"Sorry, not yet was just about to," said Giles.

Xander looked at Spike and started laughing.

"Great pants Spike, that's a new look for you," said Xander.

"Bloody shut it alright!" snapped Spike.

"Yes Xander, we're getting off topic, let's get on," said Giles sternly.

"Spike's pregnant," said Oz.

Willow giggled.

"Don't be so silly Oz," said Willow.

Willow looked at Spike and Buffy, the smile disappearing from her face.

"My God, you're right, how did it happen?" asked Willow.

Xander's head was lowered, his shoulders were shaking visibly.

"Laugh it up Harris," growled Spike.

Xander looked up and wiped away his tears.

"We need to go over everything that has happened in the last few hours, if we are going to get any idea how to sort this," said Giles.

"Can I just use your bathroom first Joyce?" asked Spike.

"Go right ahead, you know where it is," answered Joyce.

Xander started another fresh bout of laughter, Buffy punched him on the arm.

"Hey it's not funny, it's my baby we're talking about here," she snapped.

Spike rejoined them moments later, scowling at the smirk he saw on Xander's face, Spike went over to Buffy and put an arm around her.

"There, there pet, we'll sort all this out," said Spike looking hopefully at Giles.

"I only went to college and came home, I can't think what could have done it," said Buffy.

Spike looked at her, a thought occurring to him.

"Aha I knew it! It was bloody peaches, I mocked him, when he found out about the baby, he's worked some kinda evil mojo on me," said Spike

"Don't be so stupid Spike, of course it wasn't him," snapped Buffy.

"Angel was here and no one told me?" asked Giles.

"It was nothing, just a fleeting visit," said Buffy.

"Yeah with dire warnings of impending doom, maybe this was his game all along," said Spike.

"I don't think so, it doesn't add up, Buffy any suggestions? Asked Giles.

"I only talked to three people today before "it" happened, that was Willow, Oz and Hallie," said Buffy.

"Hallie? That wouldn't be short for Halfrek, would it? Asked Anya.

"Yes, why?" asked Buffy.

"And you talked to her at college?" asked Anya.

"Yes, but," said Buffy.

"Mystery about to be solved I think, Halfrek is a vengeance demon, we used to work together, torturing the male populace, looking at Spike, she's still at the top of her game," said Anya proudly.

Spike removed his arm from Buffy's shoulder.

"What exactly did you say to this demon chickie, Buffy?" he asked

Buffy looked at Spike in despair.

"Well I was still annoyed with you after our argument this morning and she was a good listener," said Buffy sheepishly.

"That's all part of the job, to get the potential client to spill their guts, or their bad boyfriends anyway," said Anya.

"Not enjoying the word picture here," said Xander.

Buffy looked at the floor.

"I might have said, I wish Spike could be pregnant for a week, just so he knows how it feels," said Buffy to the floor.

"Buffy! I would have thought my little stint at wanting my own way would have taught you something," said Willow

"Yes we have to remember this is the hellmouth, you should have been more responsible," said Giles sternly.

Buffy's bottom lip trembled as tears welled up in her eyes. Spike looked at her.

"Hormones are a bitch, I wanna cry too," said Spike.

"I'm so sorry Spike," said Buffy.

"I forgive you," he wailed.

They hugged and cried together.

"I think I'm gonna be sick, it's worse than an episode of "passions" not that I watch it," said Xander hastily.

"Anya, you have connections in the demon world, couldn't you summon her," asked Willow.

"Could be tricky, depends if she is still in Sunnydale, vengeance demons have a habit of curse and run, I'm afraid," said Anya.

"Couldn't you try a locater spell Willow?" asked Giles.

Willow flushed and looked away.

"She's afraid to practise the magiks, after well you all know," said Oz.

"Sodding great, so I'm stuck like this for a week at least?" asked Spike.

"Looks like it," grinned Xander.

"I had a doctor's appointment this evening, guess we can safely say that's off the agenda," said Buffy.

"What was the appointment for?" asked Joyce.

"Just a routine scan," said Buffy

"I think you should still go," said Giles.

Everyone turned to stare at Giles open mouthed.

"And Xander should go as your husband Spike," Giles continued.

"Are you bloody mad?" asked Spike

"Right there with you Spike," said Xander.

"At least listen to what I have to say," said Giles huffily.

"I know I'm all ears," said Buffy.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"This is never gonna work," said Spike.

"I don't know, Joyce's old summer frock looks very fetching on you Spike," said Xander.

"You are one step away from a punch in the face poofta, I'm not doing this," said Spike.

"Please William, I have to know if the baby is okay," said Buffy.

Spike looked at her.

"Ok luv, you know when you call me William, I'd do anything for you," he sighed.

"It's still missing something, he just looks like a guy in a dress," said Anya.

"It's the hair, I think I have just the thing," said Joyce disappearing into the kitchen.

She re-emerged several minutes later holding a long black wig.

"Found it in the basement, part of a Halloween costume I wore one year," she said.

"Could my unlife get any worse," groaned Spike.

Buffy took the wig off her mom and arranged it on Spike's head.

"There, that's better," said Buffy.

"Not from my point of view," said Spike.

"Where's a camera, when you need one," said Xander.

"God, this bra is like a torture device," said Spike shifting his fake breasts about.

"Why do I have to be the husband?" complained Xander.

"Well no one is going to believe it's Buffy, are they?" asked Giles.

"You look like a transvestite," said Oz.

"Thanks mate, remind me again, why I'm doing this," said Spike sarcastically.

"Look you'd better get going, thank God, it's not our usual doctor or the game would be up on the spot," said Buffy.

"What if the new guy wants to do an internal exam?" asked Spike.

"Let's cross that bridge when we come to it," said Giles.

"Time to go," said Buffy.

"Right I'll go get the car started," said Giles.

"No holding hands," said Willow.

Spike and Xander looked at her in horror.

"Thanks Red," said Spike.

"Have fun you guys," said Oz.

Buffy sat in the back seat with Spike.

"Thanks for doing this Spike, I know it's all my fault," she said.

"It's strange, I would be more pissed off about this in normal circumstances, I must be getting in touch with my feminine side," said Spike.

"I'd have to agree there," said Xander.

The short drive to the doctor's office was over all too soon; the car came to a halt outside.

"Well this is it," said Giles.

"Ready as I'll ever be," said Spike.

"I'll be here waiting for you, okay?" she said.

Spike and Buffy looked at each other, and kissed. A man passed the car walking his dog, shocked a the sight of two "women" making out in the back seat, Sunnydale really was going downhill these days, he thought to himself. Spike and Buffy separated.

"Shall we get moving then Harris?" asked Spike, eager to get it all over with.

Spike and Xander exited the car.

"I hope Spike and the baby are gonna be okay," said Buffy.

"I'm sure they will, but I think I should keep the engine running just in case," said Giles.

TBC

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Chapter 6

Dazed and Confused

"And for God's sake, while we're in there, let me do all the talking," said Xander as they entered the doctor's office.

Spike just looked at Xander and arched one eyebrow. They walked towards the receptionist's area, Spike feeling a little evil, tucked his arm in Xander's and smiled a sickly sweet adoring smile at Xander. Xander tried to pull away, several other couples were waiting for appointments, one or two of the women frowned at what they considered to be Xander's coldness towards his "wife".

"Go and sit down darling, I will talk to the receptionist," said Xander almost choking on the words.

Spike sat down next to a heavily pregnant woman and her husband, he smiled at them. They nodded and smiled back.

"So how far along are you?" asked the woman.

"About four and a half months," said Spike.

Xander turned around at the sound of Spike's voice; he hurriedly joined Spike in the next seat.

"You'll have to excuse my wife, her deep voice, her appearance, she used to be part of an English girls soccer team, they handed out the steroids like candy, and you can see the results," said Xander.

The woman's husband eyed Spike up and down.

"She looks all woman to me," he said

"Thank you, my husband is so ashamed of me, he only brings me out in public for my doctor's appointments," said Spike.

The pregnant woman and her husband frowned at Xander; twin looks of disgust on their faces. Spike was enjoying Xander's humiliation, watching him turn a bright red from embarrassment. Pay back time thought Spike; teach the whelp to take the piss out of him earlier.

"Some people just don't know how to treat a woman, especially in your condition," said the man.

"I know, he makes me stay home all day, while he's at that sweaty construction site, I just don't know how I bear it," said Spike.

"You're usually asleep all day hun," said Xander.

"See how he treats me, I'm having his baby and all he can do is put me down, didn't seem to mind my appearance when he was helping me make it," said Spike.

The man got up out of his seat.

"Looks like your husband needs a lesson in how to treat you," he said balling his fist.

The receptionist looked up.

"Mr & Mrs Lovejoy, the doctor will see you now," she said.

"Good luck little darlin' you're gonna need it," said the man sitting back down in his seat.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Spike you really are an utter bastard," said Xander as they walked up the corridor and stood out side the doctor's office.

"Just having a little fun with you that's all, don't get your bleedin' knickers in a twist," Spike grinned.

Xander raised a fist to Spike.

" You wouldn't hit a pregnant person, now would you Harris?" asked Spike.

The other couple from the reception entered the corridor, they glared at Xander and he quickly lowered his fist and put his hand behind his back. Spike knocked on the door to the doctor's office.

"Come in," said a voice from within.

"Just be careful what you say, don't fancy being a special on the six o'clock news," warned Xander.

"Don't worry poofta, I will be good, well as good as I am capable of," said Spike grinning wickedly.

They entered the doctor's office.

"Hello Mr Lovejoy, Mrs Lovejoy, do take a seat, Mrs Lovejoy if you could take that gown and get changed behind the screen please," said the doctor.

"Is this your first child?" asked the doctor.

"Yeah and my last," said Xander firmly.

Spike reappeared from behind the screen, wearing the short hospital gown. He was desperately trying to pull down the edges.

"Pink looks good on you darling," said Xander, feeling a little revenge of his own coming on.

He looked at Spike open mouthed as his gaze settled on his chest area; he'd belatedly noticed that one of Spike's fake breasts was askew. He made wild gestures behind the docs back, but Spike just frowned at him in puzzlement. Xander sighed and got up, he rearranged Spike's breasts just as the doctor turned around. The doctor looked at them frowning.

"Hmmm, my colleague warned me about you two, told me about your last visit here," said the doc.

Spike grinned at the fond memories that came flooding back, thinking about his encounter with Buffy on the examination room couch.

"Good times," said Spike.

Xander just looked at Spike in confusion.

"What?" he asked Spike.

Xander never got his answer.

"Just hop up on the table and we can have a look at what's going on in there," said the doc.

Spike grabbed the sheet off the back of the chair and arranged himself on the couch, he covered his lower region while the doctor was busy switching on the ultrasound. A fine sheen of sweat broke out on Xander's forehead, as he watched the doctor squeeze the gel all over Spike's stomach.

"You're very muscular, do you work out?" asked the doctor.

"Something like that," said Spike.

The doctor ran the instrument over Spike's abs.

"Good heartbeat, look the baby's moving around," said the doctor.

Spike looked at the little monitor, watching his and Buffy's baby, he could see it's little heart fluttering, he felt the tears well up and spill down his cheeks. He looked at Xander, surprised to see a suspicious wetness on his face.

"Xander?" asked Spike.

Xander quickly wiped his face.

"Must be dusty in here, my allergies are playing up again," said Xander gruffly.

"So do you want to know the sex of the baby?" asked the doctor.

"Yes," said Xander.

"No," said Spike firmly, he and Buffy hadn't come to a decision about that, and it was more than his unlife was worth to go behind her back.

"Wait a minute, there must be something wrong with this damn machine, I am only picking up the baby's heartbeat," said the Doctor.

He gave it a couple of hard bangs.

"Well that'll help," said Spike sarcastically, he shifted about uncomfortable on the hard couch.

Spike's sheet slipped below his hips. The doctor gaped at "him" open mouthed.

"What's going on here? What kind of sick game are you two playing? You, you're a man," spluttered the doctor.

"Time to split Spike, I think," said Xander.

He pulled Spike up from his lying down position.

"What about my dress?" asked Spike.

"In the words of your country men ,sod it!" Xander replied.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"They've been in there a long while, I hope everything is okay," said Buffy absentmindedly chewing on a nail.

"I'm sure they're fine," said Giles soothingly.

"Look here they are now," said Buffy.

"What on earth is Spike wearing, I thought the dress was bad enough," said Giles.

Both occupants of the car watched as Spike and Xander ran towards them, Buffy opened her door and Spike jumped in beside her, while Xander quickly got in the front passenger seat.

"Drive old man," ordered Spike.

Giles desperately tried to get some speed out of his old citron , and it chugged away into the night.

"So what happened in there?" asked Giles.

"Spike, he gave the game away, trust him to go commando," said Xander.

"You mean he started a fight?" asked Giles.

Buffy blushed.

"No, Xander means Spike isn't in the habit of wearing underwear," Buffy explained.

"Well I think the doc, might have noticed either way, I'm not called the big bad for nothing" said Spike

"Oh please, don't even go there," said Xander.

"I like the no underwear Spike, it's so much easier when we have sex," said Buffy.

"Why do I feel like Anya has a twin," asked Xander in despair.

"Blame Willow, I know I do," said Giles smiling at Xander.

Buffy looked at Spike, he was half lying across her lap.

"So everything is okay then?" She asked him.

"Father and baby are doing well, the baby is beautiful Buffy, I really envy you," said Spike.

Buffy heaved a sigh of relief. She looked at Spike sadly.

"I really miss carrying our child, it was my way of carrying a piece of you with me, and while he or she was there, I never felt alone," she said, tears starting to well up in her eyes.

"Hey pet, you never have to feel alone, I will never leave you, you know that right?" he asked her earnestly.

She stroked his cheek, suddenly smiling at his appearance. She pulled the black wig off him.

"That's better, you looked like Cher or Mortitia Adams in that," she smiled

"Thanks William," she said.

"What for?" he asked.

"For loving me, for being our child's father, and for being the wonderful man, I know you can be," she said.

Spike leaned forward and caught Buffy's lips in a tender kiss.

"Thank God we are nearly home, I think, I'm gonna be sick," Said Xander.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"So how did it go?" asked Joyce.

"Like a breeze," said Xander sarcastically as he plopped down on the sofa.

"What's with the change of outfit Spike, the other dress not go with your combat boots?" asked Oz.

"That's it all have your fun and games at my expense," snarled Spike.

Spike stormed off upstairs to change.

"Your grandchild is fine mom," said Buffy.

"How's my daughter doing?" asked Joyce.

"She's doing ok too, I guess," said Buffy.

Spike joined them downstairs a few minutes later.

"That's better, couldn't wait to get that bra off, sorry about your dress Joyce, we kinda had to leave in a hurry," apologised Spike.

"Never mind, as long as every one's okay, that's all that matters," Joyce replied.

"Anya didn't have any luck summoning Halfrek," said Willow.

Xander looked to where his girl was curled up in the chair, snoring gently.

"Guess I'd better get her home, it's been a long evening," said Xander fondly.

"So who's up for patrolling tonight?" asked Giles looking at the occupants of the room.

"Wouldn't mind a piece of that," said Spike.

"Oh no, Mister you're not going anywhere, but home in your condition," said Buffy firmly.

"Oh bugger, I forgot," said Spike.

"Look, I'll see Spike back to the crypt and go patrolling myself tonight, kinda been missing it," said Buffy.

"I'm big enough and bad enough to see myself home thank you," said Spike indignantly.

Buffy pulled him up off the sofa by his leather duster.

"No arguments, I'm not letting anything thing happen to you two," said Buffy.

"You're the boss," said Spike.

"And don't you forget it!" She said manoeuvring Spike out of the house.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Do you really have to go out tonight pet?" asked Spike.

"Now don't start with the puppy dog eyes Spike, you know I'm dying for a good slay," said Buffy.

She walked over to the weapons chest and extracted a cross bow and Mr Pointy. She made a few stabbing motions with it.

"Well why didn't you say love, wouldn't want you feeling neglected," he purred.

"I said SLAY, Spike not LAY," said Buffy.

Spike continued to advance on her, looking every inch the predator, even with the swollen belly.

"Spike, I know what you are trying to do it won't work," she said warningly.

"How do you know, I haven't done anything yet," he grinned.

Spike took the weapons out of her hands and placed them back in the chest. She sighed in defeat and put her arms around his neck, her fingers tangling in his hair.

"Maybe I do have half an hour to spare," she said in between kisses.

"Well we have to make sure everything is still in working order," he said looking down.

"Feels like everything is working just fine to me," she said pressing herself closer to him.

TBC

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