She was standing in the middle of the living room again and Spike wondered if she was going to proceed to motivational

speech # 144.

By judging the looks on the potentials’ faces, they were expecting one.

But she didn’t open her mouth and Spike looked at her more carefully. He hadn’t noticed how worn and tired she looked. Well, she had had a harsh day yesterday, what with the dimensional travel and all. But it was the first time that he really noticed her paleness, her weight loss, the way her green eyes were eating her face. He would have given anything to offer her some comfort, a hug, a tender embrace. But he didn’t dare.

They had barely touched each other since he had come back, and even if things had progressed quite nicely between them, he still had no idea how she was feeling about him, where he could situate himself in her life. She had told him she was not ready for him not to be here.

Which meant that someday, she would be.

The thought always made him wince, so he chased it away.

Buffy put her hand on her forehead, massaged it for a few seconds then said,

“Ok guys…nothing is going on tonight, so I suggest you spend a quiet evening and get some rest. There’s pizza in the kitchen.”

And that said, she fainted.

“Buffy!”

Spike was the quickest to react, probably because his gaze had never left her. So he had felt when her body had given up, had noticed that her eyelids had fluttered.

He caught her a mere second before her head hit the ground.

Willow and Dawn went immediately by his side, worried looks on their faces. Spike lifted her in his arms.

“She’ll be alright. She’s probably very tired, is all.”

“Should I call the doctor?” Dawn asked.

Spike shook his head.

“Don’t think it will be necessary. I’ll take care of her.”

He was expecting a concert of protests, but nothing came. He even met Xander’s stare, and the boy slightly nodded to him.

He carried her upstairs and put her gently on her bed. He took off her shoes and pants before tucking her under the cover. She shifted slightly, but didn’t open her eyes.

“Spike?” she asked, and he smiled because even with her eyes closed she was able too feel him too. And he liked to think it was not only a Slayer/Vampire thing.

They were able to feel each other because of the connection they shared.

Even Giles had said so.

He put a comforting hand on her forehead.

“I’m here, pet. How are you feeling?”

“I don’t know. What happened?”

“You fainted right in the middle of the living room. Gave us quite a scare.”

“Oh. Did you bring me here?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you,” she said in a sleepy tone.

“Just get some rest, alright?”

“I don’t want to be alone,” she whispered.

He rose from the bed.

“I’ll get Willow.”

She grabbed his arm.

“No. Please…I don’t want Willow. I want…I want you to stay with me. Please,” she repeated.

He felt a lump in his throat. She looked so helpless and pale against the whiteness of her pillow. It was heart wrenching to see her like that, almost on the verge of giving up. He could sense it sometimes, that her ‘General Buffy’ attitude was starting to get difficult to maintain. That after being one of the most incredible Slayers for seven years, the thread was about to break.

“Alright then. I’ll be back in a minute.”

Reluctantly, she let him go.

He closed the room’s door behind him.

“Willow?” he called softly.

The redhead appeared at the bottom of the stairs.

“Is she alright?”

Spike climbed down several steps.

“She will be. She just needs a good night’s rest. Do you think you can do something about the sleeping arrangement so she can sleep alone tonight?”

Willow was very doubtful about the sleeping alone part but she didn’t mention it and smiled.

“We’ll find a way,” she answered him.

“Thanks Red,” he said before getting back upstairs.

Willow went back in the main room.

“Alright folks. Those of you who were sleeping in Buffy’s room will stay in mine and Dawn’s tonight.”

The potentials nodded, not daring to protest.

“How’s Buffy?” Dawn asked.

“She’ll be fine. She needs to sleep.”

“Like she’s going to sleep with doctor Spike in her room,” Anya intervened.

“I don’t think it’s the place, nor the moment, An,” said Xander quietly, but with a slight undertone warning.

“What? Can’t I just be bitter because someone in this house is getting some and that someone is not me?”

Willow shot her a furious glare.

“God, Anya, what’s up with you? Do you think you can try not being a bitch for at least five minutes? And Buffy isn’t ‘getting’ anything. She needs sleep, and comfort. And I’m sorry if that does bother some of you, but Spike is the only one who can provide her that. He understands her better than anyone.”

Anya had nothing to reply to that. Neither did anybody else.

Because it was the truth, and they all knew it.

Spike went back in the room, took off his clothes and slipped under the covers next to her. He took her in his arms and held her tightly against him.

She circled his waist with her arm and rested her head on his chest, like it was the most natural thing to do. It felt like the most natural thing to do, and she had wanted to do it for days now, each time she was looking at him. Just drown in his arms and forget about everything else.

“I’m scared,” she whispered, and she realized she was able to admit it because at that moment, in Spike’s arms, she was feeling safe and protected.

“I know pet. We all are.”

“And I’m not sure we’re going to win this time,” she added, thinking about the awful vision she had had.

“Things doesn’t look really good, that’s for sure.”

There was a beat, and he added,

“But you’ve got yourself a little army, down there. So don’t give up already.”

“Right,” she said, before looking at him, “An army? Are you making fun of my speeches?”

“Of course not, Buffy. I wouldn’t dare,” but she could hear the laugh in his voice and had to smile.

More seriously, he said,

“And you’ve got the principal to watch you back, now.”

“I’d rather have you to watch it.”

“You know I do. But it doesn’t hurt to have someone else to do it as well.”

There was a short moment of silence.

“He’s nothing to me,” Buffy finally said.

He wasn’t replying, so she added,

“I just thought you would like to know.”

She felt him sigh, she just couldn’t tell which kind of sigh it was. She half expected him to tell her it was not his business anymore and all that crap about moving on he had told her the other day. Hadn’t she told him the same thing last year?

Maybe it was time to cut the crap talk and be real for a change.

Fortunately, he seemed to read her mind.

“Well, I’m really glad to hear that, Buffy,” he said, tightening his hold on her in a possessive manner that made her shiver - in a deliciously good way.

“So, I think there’s something else you should know too.”

“What’s that, pet?”

“I’ll never be ready.”

He knew immediately was she was referring to.

Trying to control the burst of joy he felt rising in his throat, he put a caressing hand on her hair.

“I’ll stay as long as you need me, Buffy.”

She pressed her mouth on his shoulder.

“Even if it’s forever?”

He smiled, kissing her forehead.

“Especially if it’s forever.”

FIN